Accidentally on Purpose
Explore the intricacies of life, love, and growth through candid conversations and thought-provoking topics! Welcome to the Accidentally on Purpose Podcast where we aim to live intentionally even when life seems accidental
Accidentally on Purpose
Chardonnay Conversations Feat. Pierre
Pour yourself a glass of John Legend's finest, because as we clink to black-owned brilliance, we're also uncorking tales of diverse upbringings and media's sway on our storylines. Providence molded Pierre into the man he is, and he's not shy about the cultural cocktail that stirred up his youth. We'll navigate the shockwaves of East-West Coast culture clash, delve into the growth of black women in power, and the long shadow cast by the Italian mafia over Providence politics. It's a journey through the psyche of survival, the politics of identity, and the spaces where we carve out our sense of self.
As our dialogue winds down, don't think we've skipped over the beats that shape us—our chat spans from the rigorous life of an athlete to the mines of materialism that can detonate in the dating world. Hip-hop's legendary echelons get their due respect as we dissect the feuds that sometimes outshine the music. And as Pierre and I share our San Diego dating escapades, we're not just spinning yarns; we're unfolding the maps to self-discovery, the power of faith, and how shared experiences lay the foundation for genuine bonds. Join us as we celebrate self-worth, advocate for a richer society, and champion the courage to be unapologetically ourselves.
Did you know speed dating was introduced in 1999 by Rabbi? No, I did not know that. Random facts of dating. That's why I never did it. It was mainly for Jewish singles, whatever that means. Hmm, before a couple enters into a relationship, they will go for at least six to eight dates. Really, that's a lot of money, bro. That's a lot of dating shit for no reason.
Speaker 2:I can't keep up with that. That's too much.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm well. How much would? How much do you think you spend Like on dates before you call it a relationship and speaking to the mic too?
Speaker 2:huh, that's interesting, I think. How many days am I going on?
Speaker 1:before you call it a relationship.
Speaker 2:Here's what means I'll take it slow. So I'm gonna stretch this as much as I can because I want oh, because I want to be able to get to know who she is as much as possible.
Speaker 1:I need to take a page out of your book.
Speaker 2:So you know what I'll be real basic and do the 90-day thing 90 days, I do the 90-day thing.
Speaker 1:I Try to stick by that, but like man, it's like if you hit this, we go together.
Speaker 2:I don't care and that's what a problem is.
Speaker 1:I'm letting the woman know like look you, if you want to take it there, just know.
Speaker 2:We can take it there, but that doesn't mean that this is what this is, unfortunately, in my book. Yes, we can take it there if it, if it goes there, I'm still not saying that this is relationship the problem that I have in.
Speaker 1:My grandmother told me these other young age she was like you see the good in everybody and you can't love everybody. So for me, when it comes to sex, I don't know how to have casual sex. I'm like I'm in that thing, like I'm banging that thing.
Speaker 2:All right, we gotta start with the code state meet me round seven. Baby, don't be late.
Speaker 1:I really like.
Speaker 2:But you know what came my life? Get this nigga off my radio.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna let this ride.
Speaker 2:I saw what you like. Let me water my plans.
Speaker 1:All right, that's enough. That's enough. Welcome to another edition of accidentally on purpose, with the host, the proprietor, the H end. I see I go by Kenan. Some of y'all call me K-Way, but if you don't know me like that, keep that name out your mouth, unless you wanted your way. Today we got a special guest, somebody that I've grown to know since moving here to San Diego, proud to call this brother, a brother, a friend, a frat, brother, the voice of reason. We got none other than pushing P what's going on?
Speaker 2:Yeah, fuck himself, mr Pierre. What's going on, man? Keenan, I appreciate you for allowing me to be on here like man, black man, round of applause.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:And you know a we got lots to talk about, oh.
Speaker 1:Yes, we do, but first we're gonna get into your life. We don't get. I got some Questions and things for you. Let's do it All right. Let me uh, let me get the sponsors out of out the way. Oh wait, we don't have any. Let's get to the question. Actually, I'm gonna shout out John legend. Right now, me and Pierre are sipping on John legends Shard and Nate and it's amazing, go pick up. His bottle is black on. If you know me, you know I just try to stick with black on stuff. So shout out to John legend Mary J Blige. Her line is Sun Goddess. John legend is is LVE. I think it's love without the oh. My favorite, though, is E40s, earl Stevens. Oh hey, if you don't like hard liquor and you like wine, like E40 is where is that?
Speaker 2:Be careful, cuz that nigga should be a leak, that's fried up.
Speaker 1:You're almost fell off the balcony that day. You almost fell off the balcony. Yes, what is that? 18.8%, jesus Christ?
Speaker 2:Yes, a lot man, I'm not an alcohol drinker, so that that one really stuck me and. I eat that day too man like I.
Speaker 1:It's like when you get 30 and above, you just look at life, different facts. It's like do I really want this shot of Hennessy? I? I think I'm doing with this.
Speaker 2:I swear. When I turn 21, I really forgot that I can buy liquor. Cuz like you 18 or 20, you know you getting your liquor as much as you can, boot leggers and all that other stuff. But when I turned 21, I really didn't even care for liquor anymore.
Speaker 1:I was just like I didn't have my first drink until I was 26. Wow, yeah, cuz you know, being an athlete and on the college ranks and then professionally I was, I was like so against Just drinking. But then it started to get stressful, like when I would go to these meets overseas and and stuff like that. I was like man, I need something to take the edge off. So I would, I would, I would have a long island. That's just my personality. Okay, I'm either with it or I'm not. I'm either a turtle or a cheetah. Like ain't no in between with me. Like if I'm drinking it's because I need to forget some shit, or I need to forget some shit, yeah, but as I've gotten older, wine like it's my drink of choice. So shout out to John legend major blige and E40 Snoop has a Cali Rose. That is pretty good. Oh, black girl magic the McBride sisters, man.
Speaker 1:The sweet red, the sauvignon blanc, the road, the rose, eight like it's all dope. So yeah, pierre, yep pushing P? P fun. What was it like growing up in Providence, rhode Island?
Speaker 2:Not a lot of us out there. No, the funny thing is, yes, there is black people in Providence, rhode Island. It's just not like I didn't bump into African-Americans, as you would say, would you? Oh yeah, pierre's, haitian, by the way, yeah, so I didn't really bump into African-Americans like I probably had, like I, honestly, I didn't meet a black friend till high school, mm-hmm. All the school that I went to, I went to a Catholic school and it was full of immigrants. You know where?
Speaker 1:all the immigrant kids.
Speaker 2:You know we're librarians Nigerians. You know the Haitians, you know Dominicans, all the Caribbean's West Africans and everything like that. So Cape Verdeans. Our Cape Verdeans don't really mess with us a Lot of Africans don't really mess with us. That's even Some, even the Haitians. My dad will always tell me you know, you're not black, you Haitian. Now I was like Damn, you know. But it's just like when they got here, it's hard to see a black representation for them to say, okay, yes, that's where I want my child to be like you know that wasn't really on there like that when they got, so they showed all the negative.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you know that's what you see. You know rap is just taking off.
Speaker 1:So y'all over there thinking everybody's looking like flavor flage.
Speaker 2:Not like that. It's more like they're black and crazy. Wow, that's how they see it. I get it. You know it's not their fault when they got here at this time, like my dad got here in the nineties.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:You know gangster rap is taking off.
Speaker 1:I had a thing like that Rodney King, rodney King, a lot of the Watts Right.
Speaker 2:You know a lot of stuff that is being portrayed in the like. They did a good job as far as scaring minority black immigrants.
Speaker 1:Well, I think the Watts when is was, that was before, that was before, yeah, way before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's just like then, also like New York is going crazy, like at that time and I think that's where you know gangs started coming in, like in the nineties in New York and all that other stuff, so crime was at an all time high. I didn't live in New York or anything like that, but that's what my dad was for the time before he settled in Rhode Island. But yeah, man, I'm grown up in Rhode Island. I would say it made me very cultural because you didn't just see.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:I didn't just see black people, I didn't even know I was black. You know, all I thought was I was Haitian.
Speaker 1:That's all I know. I didn't know I was black.
Speaker 2:I didn't know I was black, so it's just like I thought I was Haitian and I was. And I'm like, even when I think about it, like when you fill out applications and it just say black right but there's different type of right.
Speaker 2:There was no box, there's no box, yeah, so I was like I'm over here it's like all right, well, we're Haitian, because that's what I know, that I am, but even now, like there's different type of black people. Yeah, just like how they got with with with spending people, there's different type of spend. Yeah, they got different types just for them, so they need to. You know, do that for you know something that treat me out.
Speaker 1:When I went to Bermuda for the Olympic track, track and field trials in 2016, I was thoroughly surprised. Like it's us over there. I mean, you got parts of the island where you know you see a white is British influence. Yeah, First time I ever seen somebody with a suit coat on and some shorts and some long dress socks. It was like the weirdest shit I've ever seen, Wow. But when they took me like deeper into man, where's we at? I think it was St George's or something like that.
Speaker 1:And I was like man, this is our people. Like it was, it was black. I felt like I was back home in the hood, you know, on the porch just kicking it or, and it was dope. But I mean, you made a good point. I didn't know I was black, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:I didn't know I was black until I was like you know. Then I got to talk about older and I was like OK, this is what they really think I am, and Haiti has a lot of pride.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Chicago was founded by a Haitian. John Baptiste founded Chicago. Which is the most segregated, or no? I think Milwaukee is the most segregated city, and then Chicago is like number two, Wow, yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't know.
Speaker 1:Yes, they are the two most segregated cities and a lot like where I'm from in Indianapolis. Like you know, when you get to a certain point, like a certain part of town, ok, and I mean I ain't been home in a minute, but I know when I was living there, like you knew, like all right, I mean put my seat up, let me not lean back. You know what I'm saying, see you out on the road, down the windows or something Like you just know it's kind of like sundown town, yeah it is because it was funny.
Speaker 2:I was actually on realtorcom. I was just looking at houses in Chicago and then they showed us outside and everything is like drastically cheaper than.
Speaker 1:I guess in the north. I guess in the north side or Chicago. Yeah, the crime.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that crime is crazy. It is. I mean, what do you? What else are you supposed to do when you don't have resources? Resources, the fundamental value to survive? You know, what I'm saying. So I don't really believe in black on black crime, because you're going to do crime around whoever you around.
Speaker 2:That's why I don't understand why they don't understand that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, you know so. So growing up in province, what would you say is like the difference from a black household in a Haitian household, like, for example, when I went, so when I was playing travel ball, I fell into this trap where, like I would go hang with my cousins and they were like why are you talking so proper? So I felt like I wasn't black enough. And then when I would give my white friends and I stay in the night at their house because we got a game the next day, it's almost like I was too black. So I was like stuck in this middle.
Speaker 2:Now here's another thing I really didn't and I didn't really bump into white people like that. I'm really well. So there was white people in my select, white teachers and everything like that. You know white teachers and stuff like that. I really didn't really bump into white people or had to deal with white people more until I got to college.
Speaker 1:So what's it like? You went to University of Rhode.
Speaker 2:Island, rhode Island College.
Speaker 1:Rhode Island.
Speaker 2:College, rhode Island College.
Speaker 1:Is that what Lamar Odom?
Speaker 2:went? No, he went to University of Rhode Island. But yeah, I didn't really have to interact with white people Like white kids like my age, like that, until I got to college. You know, because like Providence is so small, right Hell, if I walked down the street I can be around white people in a white area.
Speaker 2:But, I didn't really interact with them or kids like that, Like I knew a few here and there, like a couple in my church. But you know, if I was around other people and shit, you know my parents really didn't allow me to be around sleeping over people's houses and everything like that. But see, see, that's just universal, that's just universal from African people, yep and you know what I'm saying that's just universal because moms was not having it.
Speaker 1:No, none of that. Yeah, I remember the first time I stayed over. One of my childhood friends his name was Ryan Ryan passed away RP, ryan, rp Ryan. And the freedom that he had like eating cereal in the afternoon, like telling your parents, I'll get to it. I'm looking at him like boy, are you crazy? I'll get to it, man. My mama.
Speaker 2:I wish I couldn't even say that in my head Right Mom's name was taken.
Speaker 1:I couldn't get nothing past my mom. I'm trying to borrow his clothes because he had all like he had. This is like fat farm South Pole. South Pole, like Ryan was white but he dressed black. Oh man, and she knew when I brought like some clothes that way Mine I couldn't get nothing past my mom but the freedom that he had talking to his parents any kind of way.
Speaker 2:I was like man you are wild, even when I see it today, and it's still like shocks and shit out of me. I'm like man.
Speaker 1:He stayed at my house one time and, like my mom she was always, you know, wash the dishes and and the dishwasher, like before we eat, we sitting at the table. Ryan's house was like divided. They get they food, they going to their rooms or they eating on the couch. And you know, ryan tried to sit on the couch and mom was like, uh-uh, come back to the table with that. So, we get upstairs and Ryan was like man just tell your mom it's your space.
Speaker 1:I'm like, uh, no, you tell her it's your space, she gonna whip your ass. You're going to be my color, like no, I'm good man, so the cultural differences is crazy man. But I always admire, like Haitian people because y'all are like super peaceful, but if they, if you cross a Haitian, it's courteous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, it's curteous and I got Haitian you know like lineage in my family. So it's bad man and but you know, yeah, man, I learned a lot Proud of my history and I tried, I'm trying, to learn more on that and try to take that with me wherever I go. So so I say my bootleg.
Speaker 1:I don't even know what that means. That means what's up.
Speaker 2:It means what's up? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Okay, what's up? I remember I went to Juve in Miami.
Speaker 2:It was amazing, I still want to go. Yeah, oh my.
Speaker 1:God bro, it was the most amazing time I've ever had. Wow, it's a fucking soul Gosh man. I will not say what happened at Juve. All I will say is if you are a black man and you are single, go to Juve, please, please, go from there. Don't go to the one in Miami Go to Trinidad. Oh like do they call it the same thing?
Speaker 2:Do they call it Juve Carnival? Yeah, juve Carnival.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my God, yeah man, there's a lot of blessings there, a lot, I believe it.
Speaker 2:I see the photos. I see them on IG. When they come on at one set time, I see them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I will tell that story or save that story for another podcast. But Jesus, Jesus, Jesus man. So, anyways, Providence, you go to Rhode Island College. Yeah, Rhode Island College. And then afterwards, even after you placed a great fraternity out of Phi Theta shout out to the brothers out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, Shout out to my line, bro. Shout out to Peterson. Shout out to Thompson. Shout out to Franklin. Man, Shout out to my boys. Man, I just spoke to them y'all. Yeah, shout out to them. Shout out to Kyle.
Speaker 1:What's up, kyle? What up, kyle? Shout out to my LB, jordan getting married in May and I'm vigorously trying to get these pounds off Vigorously, but it's hard. So after that, then what?
Speaker 2:After that was so. Then I went to Rhode Island College, but I actually graduated from Johnson Wells University.
Speaker 1:Johnson Wells Word. Ok, you got your damn deriving thing.
Speaker 2:Yo, they were close too. Man Brown was fucking up, so they was trying to get that Ivy League status. But yeah, graduated in County, was working, and then it just got to a point where I was working at a Verizon and then I remember I was getting fired because I told some dude, I told some white kid, you can't threaten white people, man.
Speaker 1:What did?
Speaker 2:you say, man, he just called me off at the wrong time. I was like bro, I'll smack the shit out. You.
Speaker 2:I'm not bad at it, but it wasn't like OK, yeah, it was me saying that I'll smack the shit out you. But also I had a manager that was a hater and that was really on my shit, so he was just trying to use anything to try to get rid of me. But it is what it is and I'm getting fired from there, and then what? And then working, and then I was at the airlines and then I was working here for a little bit. Then I transferred to San Diego. You just came. And then, yeah, man, oh, shout out to my, actually Roy.
Speaker 1:So Roy is like shout out to Roy Marshall Now stay using your discount after wanting to read my brother? Yes, he do, and he tell me all the time.
Speaker 2:But yeah, Roy moved out here like three years ago, 2017.
Speaker 1:That would have been five years ago.
Speaker 2:Oh shit Damn.
Speaker 1:I think the wine getting to you Yo, I really thought we was in 2020 for a second.
Speaker 2:No man.
Speaker 1:That's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so five years ago he actually moved out here 2017, I want to say and he told me he graduated from PC Providence College Day in the tournament right now.
Speaker 1:Shout out to.
Speaker 2:Providence. Yeah, he moved out here. And then he told me yo think about coming out here. I was like, yeah, I'm a visit. So then, 2019, I visited again. He was like, nah, you really need to think about coming out here. And then, 2020, March 8th, the day before Biggie was killed. Oh man, that's how I would never forget that day. I laid it yeah, RP Big. I moved out here and it was a week later of the pandemic. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:So you moved, like you was fresh, fresh, Fresh to San Diego, fresh and I'm like, I'm like, bet I'm out here, I'm about to get myself going and nope because y'all really took it serious.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, I was in Houston at the time and we did not take it serious. I believe it At all. Like nope, like if you wore your mask, like you didn't have to like defend like a while I'm wearing my mask, wow, like I had to walk around with a mug on, like hey, don't try me, man, I got my mask on, I fuck you up on everything. Don't, don't try me, man, over a mask. Like that's crazy. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:So, moving out here from the East Coast, moving out here, the transition of pace of life, it's crazy, because when I was, I mean I was walking on the street and I'm walking my normal pace, but I'm like still thinking I'm in the East Coast. And you know, when you walking in the East Coast, you walking to get somewhere, right, you not like lot of gagging?
Speaker 1:or like oh the sun's out, oh there's birds. You know, now here's lots of fear.
Speaker 2:You know I'm over here, just walking hard, and everyone's just looking at me, like yo, what's up with this dude here? And then I, literally, as I'm looking at, everybody looking at me I'm like yo, what's the problem here? So what's going on here? And then I said to myself I'm walking very fast and I'm walking very hard.
Speaker 1:right now you know, I know this there too, but that's my normal walk. That's my normal walk, like get out the way. Yeah, I got places to be.
Speaker 2:It's just like I'm trying to get to point. A to point B. That's just how it is, and here's what's funny like going to Johnson Wales, there's a lot of New York kids Right A lot of New York, intersectionals, super direct, super aggressive.
Speaker 2:I remember I was walking with them and they walk a different type of pace than I do. I thought I'm walking like you know, get to where I got to do boom, boom. But they're walking like. It's like they running when you walk because, like, when you think about it, they got to catch the train, the bus, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Or you just got to get out that neighborhood and I get it and also them city blocks is a lot longer.
Speaker 2:Yes, so you know. So when you trying to get somewhere, you trying to, you know bust your move, but getting to again out here is just like. All right, you know, let me ease the pedal a little bit and, you know, still be able to get to where I'm trying to go.
Speaker 1:I think for us coming from that side of the country, moving out here, as a black man, we don't have time to be you know what I'm saying? Like just simply be Like you either trying to get away for some shit or you on your way to some shit, 100% Just want like that's just that side of the country, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Like no, 1000% Before I, before I ended up moving out here. I remember I was dealing with a woman at the time and I told her that, oh, I'm going to be moving out here and I was like. She was like why do you want to move out there? I was like you don't understand. I've been living here off a survival.
Speaker 1:Is that my doorbell? Yeah, I was like what was this for a second? All right, sorry about that. The pizza came, it came. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you was talking about the shorties, yes, and like she was wondering like why did I want to move out here? And I was just like, yeah, like when you think about it, we've been in survival mode. We don't really know how to live At all At all.
Speaker 1:Like I think that's a, I think that's a bigger issue. Like we can only speak from a black male's perspective and I'm not taking nothing away from black women because, like I said on the last podcast, they're the most. The thing about black women is they're the most educated, the most entrepreneurial, the most intelligent.
Speaker 2:The fastest growing? Yes.
Speaker 1:And also the most disrespected.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's just wild to me.
Speaker 1:But as a black man, it's like we don't have the time or the room to just sit still in our thoughts, like we always. You know what I'm saying. It's like we always got a foot in our ass. You got your job telling you what you're not, and if you want to talk to a relationship, you got your woman telling you what you're not doing.
Speaker 2:She's going to tell you what you're not doing.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. If you go you know what I'm saying Just out and about, you got white folks telling you what you're not they're going to remind you quick, right. So we just don't, especially from our side of the country, we don't have time to. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like Providence is a lot like the Midwest, you got, it's a blue color city. If you don't work, you don't eat.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and we don't have, you know, tech and a lot of like opportunities, so you got to really get it how you live.
Speaker 2:Especially because the city was very ass backwards, wasn't progressive thinking and it's just like yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, because doesn't I-95 run parallel through there?
Speaker 1:You know you can't say nothing, so that's not democratic territory.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it is a blue state, but it just was not progressive as far as, like, it's very old, in a sense, also very mafia run, damn mafia is still deep like that. Yeah, yeah, that mafia is still deep out there like that and they still you know control have a major pressure presence in the city.
Speaker 1:Really, is it a what's it Irish or Russian Italian mafia, italian, italian?
Speaker 2:mafia man, I would say, and it's just like it's very weird because, like one particular part of the city controlled the whole election. Really, yeah, it's like 1000%. So this is the East Side of Providence. It's very, it's very Jewish community and if whoever you running, if whatever you're running for, if you don't get that side or if you don't get that side of town, you lost, it's a wrap, you lost. If you don't get that, you're done. So and also, like black people are really not, do they?
Speaker 1:vote in large numbers out there Black people.
Speaker 2:The black person black percentage is very small. It's a very Spanish dominated city, rhode.
Speaker 1:Island is Spanish.
Speaker 2:Providence Rhode Island is I get that yeah.
Speaker 1:Because when I would go and visit my aunt in Connecticut, she lives in New Haven and yo this is the first time I've ever seen somebody get the brakes beat off of them, like literally the brakes beat off of them. So my aunt lived on a Puerto Rican block. It was Puerto Rican and black. So I'm at the park, I'm in New Haven, and this Puerto Rican called another Puerto Rican a Mexican and he beat the dog shit out of this. I've never seen nobody get beat like this. It was worse than what was the movie where LL Cool J was in too deep, where he stuck the pool table yeah.
Speaker 1:It was like that level, damn.
Speaker 2:I did not know. I have a pool stick.
Speaker 1:I didn't know they was like spent. So this thing I don't get, I don't understand. I guess it's kind of like if you call a Haitian a Jamaican.
Speaker 2:I don't get offended to that Really. I really don't, like I don't get. I don't know why, like some people do, but maybe because I wasn't born there, I wasn't born in Hades. I'm the first American born child from my family, so I never really got offended to that. I kind of understand. But it's just like, is it really that deep? You know, it's just, you know, you know what you are, you know who's going to take that away from you. So but yeah, I'm lying, because even growing up that was a big thing, that's a big trigger, like calling someone, a Jamaican- no, no, no, like anybody.
Speaker 2:It could be like, let's say, you're Asian and I call you Filipino, or you know, or if I call you Guatemala and if you're Asian, don't like. That was a big thing, but I felt like it was too petty. Like you know, it's not that serious. You know what you are, and then you go from there, you know, go about your business.
Speaker 1:You know, a lot of people don't have that thinking. No, you know, it's the ego. It's the ego, it's the male ego, it's like it was like that for checks too.
Speaker 2:Yeah man Like it was my cousin Angel.
Speaker 1:This likes his girl face Lord. She likes her with a razor. Yeah, my big cousin Angel Wow.
Speaker 2:She wowed. Yeah, you know, it was just always a trigger. But it's funny, like growing up, like especially in high school, like that's why I really got to, like got every mixture of kids and everything like that, and we would just use that as a roasting term.
Speaker 1:I'm sure y'all drive the African Boots scratcher. Oh, not really. I got called that so much. Like August when you come back to school from summer, right, and my skin is darker because naturally I have, like this brick, like this dark brown brick, red tone to my skin and I like it because my mom was super light and my dad is super dark, so I got like in the middle. Same thing with my folks yeah you know I get darker in the summer, so I would get all the African Booty scratcher jokes and that's that.
Speaker 2:It's funny because, like in Providence, you actually got to be creative. You can't use the African Booty, you actually have to go for, like you got to know who these people are like and actually try to roast them. So you got to know what they, what their culture, actually do to actually try to roast them. But but yeah, like that wasn't really a big trigger, it was used a lot, like people did say, like use it a lot, but it was funny.
Speaker 2:It wasn't, like you know, trying to be like real deal. This thing was like more like trying to use as a joke, Right, and everything like that.
Speaker 1:So, so, let's, let's let's back up when you were talking to the shorty before you moved out. Let's, let's unpack that. So what, before you go? What? Um, I don't, you don't have to rehash that because I know the story. You already told me. Yeah, but when you moved here to San Diego, what was the immediate, I guess, thing you picked up on from women on that side of the country to here?
Speaker 2:I would say it's not their fault, 1000% like it's not their fault. You know, if you don't see it like that, how can you see it? So, but I feel like it was just a bit the city was just a bit small minded and that like really grass, the people like it was diverse.
Speaker 1:I was the same way. When I moved there, I was like yo For one. I'm coming off divorce and I like literally fixed my eyes to only look at my wife. I didn't even put myself in situations to lust you better than me.
Speaker 2:I didn't, you know.
Speaker 1:I took it serious. You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying, I just said and I commend you, but, man, when I tell you, I moved out serious people yes, when I moved out here I thought I was a spoon in a big ass box of fruit loops.
Speaker 1:I mean cause, you know fruit was like. I got the orange the green, the purple, the blue. I'm like yo, I've never seen this many flavor of women. But one thing that I noticed it don't matter what flavor.
Speaker 2:They all on the same shit.
Speaker 1:Yo shallowness and materialism runs in all colors. So what was your?
Speaker 2:you know your your thoughts or your thought process. To me it was just a debt, like conversation, and then it's just like also. Then I just want to be interested anymore.
Speaker 1:Like unfortunately no debt, no debt.
Speaker 2:It was like you know. I understand women always say they always want a man to hold the conversation, but it's just more like well, what do you want to come first?
Speaker 1:Right, what do you want to talk about?
Speaker 2:I can't talk to you about why you sell bags and you know and things like that. You know and I know those stuff and everything like that, but it's like that's not what I want to spend most of my time. Like, like I actually want to talk about, like what is it that you see when you wake up on a day to day basis and what is it that can change? Or what is it that you start to notice, how, or like freeing the same bracket, or like what is it that can be changed? Or how can we move forward? Do we need to ditch this whole system that we in now and then start a new one? You know, like there's a lot of stuff that we can talk about.
Speaker 1:For me. I'm a bit simpler, like do you go to the dentist twice a year? Do you have a 401K? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like at this point you know it's funny, it's like sometimes I can't even talk about that because I feel like that's normal, you know, like no, but it's not, but it's not, and that's what. That's what really throws me off. And it's just like wait you know, or you don't?
Speaker 1:floss twice a day Like I'm like it's like it's the most simplest thing in the world. Like, oh, it's like yo like okay, you got a $500 bag, but you won't even go get that cavity fixed because when you talking to me, your breath smell like monkey pampers.
Speaker 2:That brown tooth in the back. Hey bitch, don't check me. Check that back.
Speaker 1:Like fam, I know what like I mean. Well, we're not going to turn this into like a, a batter women's session. I'm just this is what you deal with when you come from a different you know like different culture, yeah. And then you know some people like you and I who have lost it all and then gained it all back. We have a different perspective.
Speaker 2:That shit doesn't matter to me. Yeah, 1000% Like. Yeah, this is so far nice. It's okay to like. Nothing wrong with that. Like what you like people, but so would you say materialistic is like running rampant here.
Speaker 1:What's been your dating experience?
Speaker 2:It's just I don't know To me. I just feel like it's just. I haven't really. I only put myself out there only a few times and like the times that I did put myself out there is just like it. Just it just wasn't the time and also it's like it was at the time it was still COVID, so it's more like you don't even know what they're thinking or how they're taking it, or you know how COVID is like. I understand COVID is very serious, but I was out here chilling. That's cold for you to care, you know. It's just like hey, it's here, it's here, man. It's like I caught COVID 2020 in January but I didn't know it was COVID. Nobody knew it was COVID Because you didn't get the vaccine. I didn't get the vaccine, you know, and I still don't have it. It's not like once.
Speaker 1:How are you just gonna come to my house and back?
Speaker 2:I know, right, I'm very disrespectful, but it's more like yo, I have, you know, I got my. It's not about getting the vaccine or anything like that. I get it. It's more like if they really cared about our health, they would do more than just you know. Hey, we got a vaccine, just take that. It's more like hell, shit. Can I get free healthcare? Can I? Do I have to pick between organic and non-organic? Why can't I just get the real thing?
Speaker 1:Because organic is three to four dollars more. Than you know regular, but it's more like okay, y'all can grow this. Y'all know y'all can grow this.
Speaker 2:So then just give it to everybody, everyone. Nobody should have to be able to choose, and it's very classism, but that's another story in itself.
Speaker 1:But do you think there's a correlation and maybe this is a reach, maybe it's the Chardonnay speaking Do you think there's a coordination with how organic our food is to how organic our people are?
Speaker 2:no-transcript. They say what you eat, you are what you eat.
Speaker 1:So obviously there's a lot of GMO women and GMO men out here.
Speaker 2:It's just man, the internet really really took off on people's mind, my God. And like the internet is just at a all time high.
Speaker 1:I got into a whole argument with this dude at Whole Foods because or my bad, not at Whole Foods at the gym, because he was in the way and I was like are you doing this for the gram or are you doing it for the grime? Because I'm you know you can't say shit like that because those people really get them.
Speaker 2:You know, get a shit like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, but I'm like, seriously, like because you, in the way I'm here for a reason, you know, I'm trying to add years to my life through health, health as well. You know what I'm saying. Like, no disrespect intended. If you want to take it there, we can take it there, but I don't think you want to take it there. You know what I'm saying. But it's just something that I noticed. Man, it's like yo, what are we really concerned about? Because you can't take none of this shit with you, none of it. You know what I'm saying? Like it doesn't. You can't take your muscle. You think you'll get to the Prairie Leagues and they open and lay on his book of life and oh, it's biceps in here. You're right, like nah, what are we doing here? What are we doing here?
Speaker 2:You're a big arse on a sword and nigga, nigga man, what the hell Like fam, get out the way.
Speaker 1:I got into a whole argument with this dude because he was like you know, I'm I think it'd be NPC, I think it's the name of it Like a national physique competitor. I think is what it stands for. Something like that. I'm an athlete. I'm like fam. You ain't no athlete. You have muscles and people pay you because you have a physique and you look solid. You know what I'm saying. A certain physique. You don't know the athlete ground. I just like to get up at 5 am for a drug test with USA track and field. You know what I'm saying. If you ain't there, it's automatic field or fail and you get a one year ban. Damn. You don't know what it's like to go overseas, get off a plane, go directly to your hotel to compete, then get on another plane. You know you might be going from Paris to Moscow or something.
Speaker 1:Have two meets in one week and you got a parent's fees and like you got your agent still in life Fam. You are not an athlete Like come on, don't disrespect me.
Speaker 2:It's just. The internet is just at an all time fucking high, and it's a lie, though it's all a lie, and that's the problem. People can't see the difference between either. Or and it's just. That's just where it's always going to be at. But is it? Yeah, damn. I said yeah, like when you think about it. Hell, why do you think Facebook is metaverse? That's really tripping me out.
Speaker 1:You see people don't understand that. I heard there's a woman trying to sue or trying to get charges brought up for some guy sexually assaulting her in the made up In a metaverse. Yeah, that's wild, I don't understand it. I don't understand it.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. I have not heard that I will, but I definitely will look into that.
Speaker 1:I want to look into it. I don't understand it so I'm not going to speak too much on it. It's like are we headed towards a made up world?
Speaker 2:No, it's going to be like black. It's going to be like that or not like lightning black mirror.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're going to make shot out to black lightning. They shouldn't cancel that, that shouldn't happen. Yeah, they, they all going to make another world. There's going to be two worlds. Man, you live in this digital world and that's all you know. My God, it reminds me of that episode on the Chappelle show when he was walking like. He was like, yeah, man, everything's going to be on the internet. And he was like walking around and but all I remember was the porn part, right, but everything. He was like yo, you be able to walk through this internet and be able to get what you want. And that's what I was actually showing the Chappelle show used to push buttons.
Speaker 1:What man if he was. It was very cringe worthy, especially when he when he was like the black blind clansman.
Speaker 2:Bro, my favorite. That was one of my favorite episodes. The black bushes one of my favorite episodes.
Speaker 1:I could have watched it. I was like what is this? I was in the middle of it.
Speaker 2:I was in tears because it's just more like he not wrong. There's niggas that hate niggas. That is.
Speaker 1:I mean speaking of that there's black people, and then there's niggas. All right, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2:There's black people that hate niggas. There's black people that hate black people.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 2:So it's like, it's more like that was his twist on because, like, if you want to, if you like that, you damn near cleanse man. If you think about it. That's true, you know, that is true.
Speaker 1:We're gonna stop you from doing that.
Speaker 2:One thing that I hate seeing is that they're gonna say you know, this nigga can't join here, you crazy.
Speaker 1:One thing that I hate seeing is two black millionaires tearing each other down publicly Publicly, like this shit that Kanye is doing right now. It like I shake my head, but my heart also breaks.
Speaker 2:It is man Like Kanye came out when I was in high school and it was very pivotal because it's like gangster rap was at a. I won't say gangster rap was at all time, but gangster rap was there.
Speaker 1:It took a backseat around Kanye though. We was coming off of the Diddy shiny suit.
Speaker 2:Actually no no, no, no, no, it's Rockefeller.
Speaker 1:No, no, I think Nelly had Nelly.
Speaker 2:Nelly came out in 01, what.
Speaker 1:Jay said ain't nobody moving units?
Speaker 2:It's have M Pimps and us and Jairu. So it was. But you see, so here's Jairu doing the. You know the R&B love you, love you. Shit, jay's rapping, all right, pause.
Speaker 1:First off, I love Jairu and the fact the way that they turned on Jairu it was just for all of these rappers today to sing and add auto tune and everything is so disrespectful.
Speaker 2:And also it's just more like niggas really turned on Jofa 50. Right 50 started singing 50 started singing, 50 really was. 50 actually broke up New York.
Speaker 1:He didn't. That's actually my only problem. They've said that. Yeah, a lot of people have said that.
Speaker 2:My only gripe with 50 was that he really broke up New York, because it's just like it's the 48 laws of power, divide and conquer.
Speaker 1:But what did he conquer? He conquered himself.
Speaker 2:Solve for self. I mean, yeah, but it's just okay. Yeah, you know what? You're right, because if you go platinum on your first, if your first album went diamond, then yeah, what benefits of man then also, you put the soul.
Speaker 1:Yep, and then you put your niggas on and everybody else went platinum or all I know is Jairu, I man, maybe Nelly, but Jop rule probably had like the hottest three summers we have ever seen. Him and Ashanti was the best work couple. Yeah, I remember when Ashanti premiered on Spring Bling with sideburns.
Speaker 2:Yo and niggas ether her for that and I said, damn, she's fine. Yeah, and niggas ether her for those sideburns and I mean.
Speaker 1:But I was like damn, she's fine, give me the naturalness, give me the naturalness. She was bad, my goodness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like yo get JLo off my freaking screen, JLo.
Speaker 1:I never was big on JLo, but then again, like I'm like now, I come from family, family of activists, and it's black, yeah, black, black, black, black, black, black.
Speaker 2:I remember you know what shout to you. It's not a, you know this against JLo. Or you know Puerto Ricans, or anything like that Puerto Ricans did make create hip hop.
Speaker 1:So that's you talk about rappers, you talk about?
Speaker 2:no, we're talking about the evolution of hip hop. The creation of hip hop came from black and Puerto Ricans and the Bronx yeah, that's true, that's true.
Speaker 1:But it was mainly black. I can't, I can't give them that credit.
Speaker 2:I can't give them.
Speaker 1:Plus, I mean rappers. Delight is like it's it's.
Speaker 2:you know that's too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean cause like one of the most mumble rap songs ever hip hop, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip, hip hop. You don't stop it. Rock it to the bang bang.
Speaker 2:Look at that shit's kind of bubble rap. That's true. That's true, it's very Dr Seuss.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very, dr Seuss. For me you know what was it? Was it a? Was it Grandmaster Flash in the 30s five? Yeah, the message you know, don't push me, cause I'm close to the right. You know they was talking about what was really going on.
Speaker 2:And that's, and that's where hip hop kind of went Once, when the message was taken out or the medicine you can say was taken out, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm still artists that are out there and starting to push that. Kendrick yeah, 1000%. You know it's a Pimpa Butterfly Still my favorite album. Yeah, it's great. Oh, the music grew on me. It's funny because when Kendra came out I didn't really listen to him until I heard the pepper butterfly. That's when I actually heard good kid, mad city. Okay, that's hard and I was like I'm kind of fucking up, but I'm very much an intellectual, like I'm an intellectual. It's like when I go to church.
Speaker 1:I love the word over praise and worship and my church is Amazing praise and worship because Dwayne Woods, who made the song let go and let God is our worship leader.
Speaker 1:Yeah but that don't really move me. I mean, I love the, you know, I love the worship, but I like to hear, like when I was in college, yeah, I like lecture days. Okay, I'm weird like that. For some reason I like to just listen and soak up free game. I could, I could listen to my dad talk all day, yeah, every day yeah, and I just, I don't know, it's just weird. So I appreciate K-dye cold. Yeah, people that got you know, a lot of people talk but they don't say nothing.
Speaker 2:I Like that here's my thing with, and this is why Nas is like my favorite rapper, because it's just like yes, it was. It was always the message for me. It was never about and shit, you know, I love biggie and all them and all that, but it's just like big too, but pop had more of an influence on my life. Yes 1000% I feel like I was emotionally.
Speaker 1:I Popped out when I was eight years old and I cried like my mama died. Thank you.
Speaker 2:I just didn't understand why he was. It was more tragic to me in a sense, because it's just like wow, like this is someone that's supposed. I didn't understand it at the time. I think I was like what, six, five years old or so. I didn't understand on like I Didn't understand how real it was.
Speaker 1:It was super real bro, he was. He was so ahead of his time 1000%.
Speaker 2:And Come on, he was that black. Expose cousin niggas out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yo, he did that at the Indiana black of Indianapolis, Indiana.
Speaker 2:He showed up and that's where he gave that and that's why I always, always bothered me when rappers be like oh yeah, Like I'm like the next two pock. I was like I never seen my no expo, I like park.
Speaker 1:I love park because, because of his duality, that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he made it, made it clear the same way Steph Curry made how can I say this? He made Jesus pot him, and La Cray made it For me. My personal experience made it popular to glorify Jesus name in public. Mm-hmm, a lot of people say I want to thank God, but it was La Cray and Steph Curry to say I want to thank my Lord and Savior, jesus, jesus Christ. So that correlates to me with pot, because he here's a man with many layers, one that he'll shoot off duty cops with.
Speaker 2:You know saying walked out of that courtroom with, just like George Jefferson, he'll make.
Speaker 1:Keep your head up, or dear mama, but also come out with a song first off. Right, you know saying the disc or shed so many tears, or I see death around the corner.
Speaker 2:And all eyes on me. You know it's just. It's just layers, bro. It's a layer and I feel like that's why it's just like when pop was killed, Biggie was killed, I feel like now it's kind of filled that void for me, because the message was always there music is universal. Yeah, people don't understand it.
Speaker 1:No all right, let me get back to the topic. We kind of went off on the women, the one going back. Let me, you know, let me get on my soapbox real quick, cuz you know, I know we both been through it, you know, and the women actually told me to take a step back. Let me get on my tail, talk for a second man, cuz this is, this is just how would you? Hmm, how would you classify dating life in Southern California Once you get past the palm trees, the weather, the good food, a lot of flakes.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like that's a, that's a California thing, like yeah like they are very, very flaky, in a sense, like I'm okay with just saying what you just saying. I can't make it today. Mm-hmm, and well, it'd be the weirdest shit. Oh, my dog has a shit it all day. So you know my dog has a shit it all day. So you know I kind of want him to shit, so that's why we can't go. I'm waiting. It's just like okay.
Speaker 2:Hey, you know what no baby, let me uh, you know San Diego, everybody got a dog man, let me get a. Every woman have a dog too. Let me get on my soapbox, please do.
Speaker 1:This is my dear diary moment, real quick.
Speaker 2:Play the movie.
Speaker 1:Listen, listen, listen here, man, it's a PSA women in SoCal. Don't ask for something that you're not ready for Straight up, cuz my pop always, he always taught me to be a man of many layers. Like I could pray for you, I Can protect, I may provide if need be, if you're worth it, if this Situate or this relationship is worth it. I'm shiver is with a hint of hint of coininess. I Display intelligence with a hint of food. But once we get past all of the superficial surface level thinking and Down to the authentic root of what we desire, are you ready? Can you handle what you're asking for? Another thing don't waste my time. You think I've overcome a divorce depression. You know saying my mom dying a week before my wedding, no grandparents, no aunts, no uncles, to let you waste my time and talk to me any kind of way. Nah, that's, that's not how we rockin. So please Don't waste my time or any other good brothers times. Please don't, cuz it is some good man out here.
Speaker 2:And that's why I took a step back. I'm not going away some time straight like that.
Speaker 1:You can't handle what you asking for. Don't ask for it.
Speaker 2:Cuz I would do you right, but still do you wrong.
Speaker 1:Now listen man, listen, I'm not gonna do you wrong, I'm just saying like look, that's why don't let your mind lie to your heart and say some dumb shit. Oh, he's too good to be true.
Speaker 2:Women that yo. I don't know why women all say that. Why is that there they go to.
Speaker 1:Especially when they fucking up, or yeah.
Speaker 2:I see, when they on some bullshit and they know on damn some bullshit it's just like oh, I thought you'd sue good to be true.
Speaker 1:Just keep it real. You ain't ready if you ain't right and that's fine, we'll keep it pushing. I had a woman tell me God is not my priority. Wow, I was offended. I felt like she spit in my mouth.
Speaker 2:What's next? Waters down her priority.
Speaker 1:I feel so disconnected when she said that it just, it really just took me for a little fan God is not my priority.
Speaker 2:I can't, I can't even say the whole thing.
Speaker 1:God is not. I cannot fix my mouth to say some dumb shit like that, and that's you know, that's just me. But if that's what you don't believe in, and then cool, she's probably extremely hurt, but don't put on your profile, christian.
Speaker 2:Yes, you see.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's extremely hurt. Don't have a scripture on your IG if you got is not your priority. Wow, that's, that's trifling.
Speaker 2:Because maybe she was probably heavily into the church world and you know I get and who knows I get that.
Speaker 1:I was church hurt, being married to a pastor's child and having to deal with the constant scrutiny Fam I know what it's like. But God is my foundation. I will never deviate from that. I don't go to church and in study groups and Bible studies For social hour I don't follow a pastor.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I use the word to be linear with God. Yes, I do things like drink and curse and step out of that wheel, but I'm always coming back to my foundation.
Speaker 1:You know this is me off the most. If like what I learned about moving here from Houston on Sunday when you went to church, it was normal when I get on the elevator to get out my building, go get it in my car, hold a church, and I got my Bible in my hand. People look at me like I'm a monster. It's weird. It's so free that it's like you know a lot of y'all.
Speaker 2:That's why we got. That's why, when you look outside, homeless people able to be outside, right next to you, that's the fact, like crowds of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just like you know it's the, it's the yin and the yang. It is man. I can lean over my balcony and look at the Pacific Ocean, or I can look to the right and see tents of homeless people, or I can look straight and see high-rise.
Speaker 2:That's what's so crazy about this damn place like it's crazy. It's a big-ass simulation to me.
Speaker 1:It is man.
Speaker 2:Like a brand new library is full of tents.
Speaker 1:I think, like I like again, man, I think when you, when you lost it all and you got it all back, you just come from like a different perspective of life. Um, quick dating story. I should have saved the Moisha instrumental. Yo, I was dating. Thought I was dating. You thought oh yeah, you thought, thought I was dating a young lady right, so we hung out Thursday.
Speaker 2:Friday, saturday, sunday.
Speaker 1:Thursday we went to. What are we going? Thursday, I can't remember, we probably went to eat somewhere and then Friday we went to the beach and then like out to eat. Saturday we went to the farmers market. I bought her a plant. You know saying, you know showed us some organic way of living. Come on now come on now.
Speaker 1:Sunday, she invited me to church. Come on now. For me that is the most intimate thing. Like sure, sex is intimate. I could stand up in it and eat it till I burp. But you know what I'm saying? God is my foundation. Yes, when you when, when we worship the Lord together, it's a different intimacy. You know, saying that is intimate to me like the sexiest, the sexiest position and what we can be in.
Speaker 2:I'd like you just took me to Walmart or Target or something like that.
Speaker 1:We went to church and for me, you know we won't like. We worship together, we will have held hands, we pray and the sexiest position for a woman for me is Serving God pray not not serving me. You know, saying come Monday I don't hear nothing.
Speaker 2:She got.
Speaker 1:Nervous Tuesday she got nervous I don't hear nothing. She's nervous I'm reaching out.
Speaker 2:She's not because I'm not a prideful. You know she's nervous. Those four, those four days probably shit on her shoes like hold on come Wednesday.
Speaker 1:Oh, how you doing. Fuck, you mean how I'm doing. I'm not one of them dudes that's gonna like Like Macho Macho you know I don't need to do that.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna let my feelings be known, cuz that don't make me more or any less than a man and she was like well, you know, it's been a busy week and for me it takes you 30 seconds to say, hey, I'm busy this week, I'm gonna get to you when I can. I'm like, all right, cool, thanks for communicating. But then I say nothing and they ain't act like everything is all cool. And then you want to say, oh, why you putting this pressure on me?
Speaker 2:dog Never shit it. That's why, but that?
Speaker 1:goes back to don't ask what you not ready for, because I'm the type of person like, yeah, I'm gonna give it to you, like full pressure, any, whatever level you want to get on, we can do that, you know.
Speaker 2:saying and I feel you same way.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So then you know she was like well, I got us tickets to this concert on Friday. We went to the concert, had the worst time of my life and damn, don't go to a R&B concert to be distant. This man is singing his heart out on stage. I ain't even gonna say who was on stage because I don't want To glory to give and give her any light. So it was baby face.
Speaker 2:I wish it was baby face.
Speaker 1:But I mean the man this is like intimate setting at the house of blues is standing room fam Like he's singing his heart out and you over here acting stank. Oh, you know, saying like I'm trying to, I'm trying to nibble.
Speaker 2:So it was wag, bro, that's tragic and she won for that.
Speaker 1:She knows she's wrong. She is wrong, but and this is like I'm transitioning into like the story ties together because what I noticed about moving to San Diego black men Don't date black women, oh, and I get so offended by that shit. What do I see?
Speaker 2:What do I love?
Speaker 1:like women. I'll never give up on a black woman Never, you know. Saying I mean I'm open to dating.
Speaker 2:I have to hold that too.
Speaker 1:It won't, it won't be long, my god, it's, it's, it won't be long. I'm starting to see Like but there's this dynamic between black men and black women. That I don't know if it's ever gonna get fixed. It can't be fixed. It's kind of our fault because we messed up over a period of time.
Speaker 2:It's too box at the end of my black woman. You're gonna go through a lot. Right, right but where do good brothers fit in, though you know it's more like can they trust it?
Speaker 1:That's how broken I want to say if you, if you dynamic is if you can't stay out the way, because I'll be damned if I go to therapy by weekly, constantly work on myself. I go to the beach every morning to pray, meditate and manifest for you to come over here and waste my time Like for real. Get it together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, you know your flaws. Right, everybody shouldn't. Everybody should know that flaws. Or you know what you got to work on, or you know what you got to do away from, or what is it that you want. We always got to make sure that we are. If we're gonna ask for something, we're gonna make sure that we were prepared for exactly, and I'm a firm believer.
Speaker 1:Everything you go through is preparation for what you asked for 1000, you get to a million dollars.
Speaker 2:Okay it's a million dollars. No right, learn something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm a. Sparkle idea and then it's gonna give you another thing that I'm learning, and I learned this about myself. As far as the dating dynamic go, you may not get Everything you desire in your way, but you may still get it. If I ask God for a cake and he give me two eggs, flour, sugar, you know a egg beater in a bowl In the oven it's still a cake, it's still, you just gotta put some work in and make it.
Speaker 1:Yep. So women, man, men, if, if something, if you're asking for something and it's not, don't think somebody's gonna come to you all together. If that's what you wait, you know you're gonna be a waiting mother, you know what? Yeah, and you're gonna lose out. Yes, you know saying, but don't be afraid to put in the work. Oh yeah, I'm not saying drop your standards or nothing like that, but put in the work.
Speaker 2:You have to see who is. Also. You have to see who is worth the work.
Speaker 1:That's true, not everyone's gonna put in some work. For some people that wasn't deserving of the work and I think same thing. I think with me having been married and being in a serious relationship. I'm not with the bullshit. Yep, you know, I know what I want. If you ain't on that wavelength, then keep it moving. Are you here for a long time or a good time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say. The reason why, also, I cut my dating experience short out here Is because I really wasn't sure what I really wanted. Yeah, you had to relearn. Yes, I had to. I had to really relearn, yeah, and that's like actually the point of where I'm at now, because it's just like, well, shit, maybe this ain't working because it's just me like I'm not finding who is it that I actually want to be, would be around with or, you know, spend some time with. So now that I'm in this stage of you know, learning who I am, I Kind of like it. Yeah, like it's just you know, day to day, every day activity and everything like that, but it's just like. It's like I won't say it's like living a childhood or anything like that, but it's just getting to reintroduce myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and try to make sure who I make sure I know who I am, so I'll be able to present that to that person.
Speaker 1:Man. I think we just coming from a black male perspective, and ladies don't think that we got it all together. No, we got flaws too. But I think the difference that separates myself and Pierre and other brothers is that we actually put in the work To be better humans be better men, be better black man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ladies, I don't want to be a fuckboy, I don't want you.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be that let me say this Fuckboys are created. That's a learned behavior. You don't just wake up and become a fuckboy. That is 1000% true. I got a whole spoken word piece called fuckboy misunderstood. Hmm, and the shit that I've gone throughout here thus far. I Think I would have every right to be on some fuckboy shit, but I'm a better human. I'll work on myself. My conscience, my subcontinues, is like that, ain't true bro? Yeah, keep trying, keep pushing, keep pushing because it's just like.
Speaker 2:One thing about a fuckboy is like he don't know. Here, fuckboy, he's Always going to be the way he is. Is he always gonna be? He always gonna be that?
Speaker 1:this I Don't. I'm only pushing back a little bit because I know some fuckboy personings that are married and they are stepping out, you know, and like they do some you know.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know you're right on that.
Speaker 1:Some know, some do, some know what they doing some know what they doing, but I, I for me, I'm just saying like I think insecure.
Speaker 2:When shorty said, no, you just a fuck nigga, it spoke a lot in a relationship and a black relationship dynamic and it was. I think that's dangerous, though I want to be, I desire to be, and that's why I like the likes the last season, because it showed a lot of growth. Right yeah, they never get back.
Speaker 1:Because black Twitter already told me everything you know basically he saw was, you know, working on a job. She got together, she became a boss. Lance was working at Best Buy. He is everything she's on him and then he found somebody else. He got each. He got up somebody pregnant. He stood through the baby. You know, molly and her fell out. They got cool. I mean, the sales had a baby and then she worked out in the end. Yeah, that's basically it.
Speaker 2:But it's more like the conversations, the stuff that was going on, and I felt like that was very she did a very good job of like putting it out there. It's not like she was right or she was wrong, it's like it's out there. Yeah, I know that this happens, so how is that y'all going to be able to do it or do it or maneuver with it, or how y'all gonna take it and go about?
Speaker 1:it. I'm a binge. Watch that something else, though I do think men. So this, this podcast, is a safe space. I've been doing this off and on for a little bit, even since college. I'm just trying to be more consistent and really pour into this, because I want this podcast to be a safe space for black men and black women to come and be Just authentic, pure, unadulterated, unapologetically black be themselves. You know, whether you are A member of the LBGTQ I plus community, if you got some hotep tendency, whatever you are, you can come on this platform and be that man made. I'm just. There's two different ends of the spectrum. I may not agree, but I just want to provide a place, a safe place for us to just simply be and exist, because, like I alluded to earlier, I don't think we have a place where we could just be.
Speaker 2:You know saying like BT and even black. No more Black program, and over there it's just Tyler Perry show. Yeah, that's a whole. Nother time, you know, it's just wild as shit, amen.
Speaker 1:Come on to the accidentally on purpose of podcast and be your unashamed, unapologetic, pure, unadulterated.
Speaker 1:Like self please you know, saying but um, black man, we got to stop. We have to normalize being in touch with your feelings. It don't make you no less of a man to say amen. I didn't appreciate that. That hurt me. You know saying or come on here and express yourself, it's more like yo, if you feel it. Why go against it, right? Why keep that shit in there? Because we got so much. We have so many recycled black traumas and like enough. We're already dealing with enough.
Speaker 1:You know saying outside is already killing us and then we normalize things like oh you a simp, or you know, say you soft.
Speaker 2:I'm soft because I Like my girl, right, I'm. That's great. I'm a two-parent household and know how to be respectful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know what I say, please, and thank you like okay Um yeah so I just think we got to do a better job of that. And it's just I don't know, man, I can't really put it into words I'm just big on layers, I'm big on like just being multifaceted.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, you know, man, it's just like also get out, get out the small thinking right, the world is a whole lot better. Get out, just around it, I'll just surround it, and it's like you learn a lot more from being just outside. Yes being into it with yourself is just like why can't we take advantage of that?
Speaker 1:right.
Speaker 2:We hear for a reason like don't limit yourself at any, any, any point.
Speaker 1:I know you ain't come this far, just to come this far just come this far stop there, that's just, that's crazy. I I think if we put value in ourselves and then we put value in each other, we'll have a value society 1,000%, straight like that.
Speaker 2:1,000% and shit, even if they don't see it, as long as we see it and we create that understanding within ourselves right. That's all that we need, because we really got to deal with all the outside stuff. I spent well speaking for black people. We don't have to deal with all that. We can just deal within ourselves and don't say that we can't because we can, that I'll see it. This history is there. Facts like Wall Street.
Speaker 1:We created mathematics. Slavery didn't start, or Black history doesn't start with slavery. No, you know saying stop letting these people lie to you in the books and stuff. So never like man, be better, be better. Humans, black women, don't give up on us. Please don't believe in us. I'm trying, all right, we be good at it. A shout out to my special guest, p font Pierre. Much appreciated, my brother Appreciate you, man.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you Thank you and we go in this, like I always in this. So I went to therapy on Thursday and I was just unpacking some, some stuff, you know, some traumas and what I took away is we got a value. Of life has taught us Rather than what life has done to us.
Speaker 2:So, with that being said, I met the list to say amen Peace.