Accidentally on Purpose
Explore the intricacies of life, love, and growth through candid conversations and thought-provoking topics! Welcome to the Accidentally on Purpose Podcast where we aim to live intentionally even when life seems accidental
Accidentally on Purpose
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Could the recent indictments of high-profile figures like NYC Mayor Eric Adams and music mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs signal a seismic shift in holding powerful individuals accountable? This episode unpacks the latest federal charges against Adams and the still-sealed indictment involving Combs, exploring their proclamations of innocence and the broader implications of systemic corruption. We discuss the intricacies behind these cases, shedding light on potential ramifications for others entangled in this web of accountability and the cultural conversations it sparks.
As the episode unfolds, I recount my personal journey with music, particularly focusing on the controversies surrounding artists like Drake. Why have I distanced myself from his recent releases? With insights drawn from my gut feelings and reactions to tracks like "Family Matters" and "Meet the Grahams," I examine the challenge of separating art from the artist. The narrative crescendos with a powerful Juneteenth concert experience, featuring artists like Tyler the Creator and Steve Lacey, that rejuvenated my appreciation for authentic, heartfelt music.
Our discussion takes an intimate turn as I navigate the nuances of personal relationships and growth. Sharing anecdotes from my own life, I underscore the importance of self-worth and the distinction between desiring a wedding versus a meaningful marriage. Through reflections on simple joys and the value of genuine connections, the episode encourages listeners to pursue relationships rooted in love and mutual respect while fostering personal happiness and dedication over fleeting validation.
Breaking news tonight New York City's Mayor Eric Adams has been indicted on federal charges. Abc Senior Investigator Correspondent Aaron Katursky joins us now. And, aaron, this indictment seems to have been in the works for a very long time, at least 10 months. Byron Federal prosecutors and the FBI took the dramatic step last November of seizing the mayor's phones and ever since, his administration has been under this cloud. The mayor in a statement tonight, says I always knew that if I stood my ground for New Yorkers, that I would be a target, and a target I became. If I am charged, I am innocent and I will fight this with every ounce of my strength and spirit.
Speaker 2:Music mogul Sean Diddy Combs has been arrested by federal agents at a hotel here in New York City. Combs had been living there for several weeks. A person with knowledge of the investigation told NBC News the arrest was based on a sealed indictment brought by the Southern District of New York. The contents of the indictment won't be known until later today, but Combs is facing a wave of lawsuits accusing him of sexual assault and misconduct. In March, federal investigators searched his homes in Miami and Los Angeles. Combs' attorney expressed disappointment with the arrest, saying his client had been cooperating with the investigation, adding he is an imperfect person but he is not a criminal.
Speaker 3:Yes, what is going on? Everybody? What up, though? Welcome back to the Accidentally On Purpose podcast. I know that I've been gone from you all for a while, so if I do have any loyal listeners left I apologize. But you know, as you could tell from the intro song, I've just been very unenthused to drop anything, and I was really working on myself. I mean, I'm always working on myself. I was really working on myself. I mean, I'm always working on myself, but I think this time around was a little more intentional and had a lot of good things that turned into great things that are going on. And yeah, man, just welcome back. I'm happy to be here, had some things to get off my chest and looking to turn this into a regular thing again. So if this is your first time joining, welcome.
Speaker 3:This is the Accidentally On Purpose podcast with Kenan. You can find me anywhere that podcasts are found. Also, follow me everywhere on social media. I am heavy on the threads right now. I love threads. I feel like it's the target of Twitter. Slash X, x is like Walmart Waffle House, and I would say threads is more like your target in IHOP or Broken Yolk or something like that. So, yeah, man, welcome. Well, we're just going to continue doing what we've been doing. This show is all about exploring the intricacies of life, love and growth through a candid conversation and some thought-provoking topics. So, once again, welcome to the Accidentally On Purpose podcast, where I just aim to live intentionally, even when it seems accidental, and that has been the story of my life. I feel like that every time I get ready to write a book, something else happens, and it's been some interesting things. There is a lot going on in this world. These are very interesting times. So, man, since I last got on here with my boy Brandon in January, really just had my head down working and solidifying my tech career and cybersecurity and trying to be a good man to my woman. We are still going strong. I'll touch on that later. But yeah, as you guys can tell from the intro, a lot of heavy stuff going on, and if you've been an avid listener of the Accidentally On Purpose podcast then you understand.
Speaker 3:I called this Diddy thing a very long time ago, my boy and Pierre and I. So shout out to Pierre, wherever you are, I'm trying to find the words. It's not surprising, but it is a bit puzzling. And the puzzling thing for me Is who else are they going to hold accountable? Because, while I think Diddy is very wrong In everything that he did and he should rot underneath the jail and everything he did to these innocent people I hope his cellmate does to him With extra, extra, extra, extra baby oil. He deserves all of that. I'm wondering who aided and abetted him, who stood by idly and did nothing, and who I knew about these things.
Speaker 3:You know some one person I know that has been calling this man out for over a decade and that's Gene Deal. If you don't know who he is, check him out on YouTube. He is Diddy's ex bodyguard, gene Deal. That's G-E-N-E Deal bodyguard gene deal. That's g-e-n-e deal. D-e-a-l.
Speaker 3:Um gives a very, very great uh synopsis of his time um being diddy's bodyguard. What he did, what he went through the night, big die, it's very, very good and I'm just wondering, man, what the hell is going on. This is stuff we've already known. He's been playing in our face for a number of years now and for me, I think, um, it's always been a cause to pause. But just because somebody make a jamming ass beat, I think we ignore their behavior. The same conversation can be said about drake, who I have a lot to say about his ass, but I don don't know if I'm going to get to it today.
Speaker 3:And you know, mayor Adams, eric Adams, he's also indicted Now. This charge, I don't know, man, I feel like a lot of politicians take foreign money and do what they will with it. He ain't the only one. He's the only one that's gotten caught and I think he's going to be made an example out of. But I don't live in New York, but I've only heard the stories. You know he took money out of, you know, the roads and the streets and in different community projects and things, and kind of funded his lifestyle. And that's true. Whatever you got coming to him, he deserves that Black man.
Speaker 3:We looking real funny in the light right now. Real funny, whether you are a Diddy fan, eric Adams fan, or even a fan of 50 Cent um, who is giving Diddy Hill right now. I also think that's counterproductive, um, you know, because I'm I'm wondering, you know, with 50 being in the industry for as long as he is, did he know anything? Did you turn a blind eye? And if so, what does that say? You know, I think long gone are the days where we say, oh, that ain't my business. Nah, it is your business. It is because to cultivate and protect this thing called black culture as it relates to hip hop, we need people to speak up and be the gatekeepers, not when it's too late, not when it's profitable, but when it's happening, and I think that's the biggest issue that I have right now.
Speaker 3:Diddy got indicted yesterday again by Tony Busby, an attorney out of Houston who's also licensed in New York. I lived in Houston for a number of years and I've seen his name around. I don't know much about him. Some people call him an ambulance chaser. I don't know. But to have a hotline and to have 120 victims come through and you split it down evenly 60 men, 60 women it's a bit puzzling. It's a head scratcher, makes you go. Hmm, what are we doing? Are we? What are we doing? You know, in the threats that he's made about um big name people in corporations that he's going to name in a lawsuit, I think that is a position to get settlement money and that's a very dangerous game that he's playing. And may God protect him and his family. Because you know, we see what's going on with Boeing. Anytime a whistleblower blows a whistle, he's gone or she, you know, in some weird, weird circumstances.
Speaker 3:So yeah, man, it's been a lot of BS going on, just a lot since January, and of BS going on just a lot since January 8th. I don't know, man, I just kept my head down and just tried to work and be a productive man in this unforgiving world. Also, notice some things that's going on in the black man and black woman spaces. That's not respecting each other. I'll touch on that in a minute. Definitely want to get my thoughts out on this. Kendrick Lamar and Drake Beef I'm super late but I wasn't part and instead of doing reaction videos and, you know, trying to get a reaction or monetize the channel and things like that, I just sat by because I really wanted to see what was going to happen.
Speaker 3:Now my bias is with Kendrick Lamar because if you know me, you know I'm a person that is very introspective. I'm a lifelong learner and I always want the most out of life and I only try to do things that feed my spirit. And it's other than Tupac who is my GOAT and my favorite rapper of all time. I think Kendrick is the only other rapper that has provided a soundtrack to my every phase of my life, especially in adulthood, you know, from my 20s, late teens, to 20s, to my late 20s to early 30s, now my mid 30s, and I've grown with this music and that is something I cannot say from the boy up north that makes a great ginger, ale I have not grown with his music. It's not substance, feel and instead of creating a wave, he's a wave rider. So, with that being said, I'm glad it turned out the way it did and I was telling people this ain't going to go the way that you think it's going to go.
Speaker 3:When it comes to just creating, being an artist, lyricism, being intentional with what you're putting out and what you're ingesting and consuming, I don't think we have anybody like Kendrick Lamar. I think J Cole touches on it at times, but outside of Born Sinner, I don't know if I've heard a song from Cole that has moved me the way that the entire album of To Pimp a Butterfly or Damn, which is my favorite song on there, is Feel or Pride. Mr um, mr morale and the big steppers could kid mad city, um man. I'm a huge, huge fan of kendrick lamar, but I'm not a stan, I'm not delusional. I know he is a flawed human, just like the rest of us. So I go hard, but not as hard as some of y'all fans out here.
Speaker 3:Um, it wasn't wasn't surprised by the, but I was surprised by the people that received it, because it seemed like we saw Drake kind of fall off in real time. Not fall off, you know, with record sales, people are still going to ingest his music and buy, you know what he's putting out. But the public, the public seemed like they took a turn. I had students, kids that I was coaching, that went from Drake stans to Kendrick fans and they started breaking down lyrics and introspective rap and, you know, asking what do some of these things mean? And I think that we may be seeing a culture shift, which is kind of why I used, you know, his latest drop, watch the Party Die. At least that's what I think the name of the song is. It's still untitled, but you know, I think that song says a lot. I think you know he went at Drake after Drake brought his family in there and now he's going at the industry.
Speaker 3:I think we need more balance and music has gotten to a point where it's almost it's not digestible. It's like here today, gone this afternoon, like you really don't have much music you can just sit with like an entire project and appreciate it. So from that standpoint I definitely appreciate it. The way that the battle turned out, I think my favorite song Call Me a crazy psycho, but meet the grams. I've never heard no shit like that. I ain't never heard a man's character get broken down from every aspect. And the man didn't diss Drake's family once. He's merely sat down with his family and had a good talking to a good stern talking. I think that's probably my first um, yeah, that would be the first song that I would rank, uh, at the top of the charts. For me. I just think, man, your son's a sick man with sick thoughts. I think niggas like him should die like what, what. And then if you really listen to the song, you know, I know it may be hard to to ingest, but you, if you really listen to the song and what he's saying, the things that are playing out with diddy and more entertainers and rappers, actors, singers that are to come, is the very thing that he was talking about. I think that song can be a blanketed statement about a lot of people in this industry. So for me it hit and I'll never forget. Matter of fact, I'm going to tell that story. So let me get the rankings out the way. First, let's go Meet the Grams first. Let's go 616 in LA. Second, euphoria third and then Not Like Us fourth. I love all the songs. I know Not Like Us that's going to be my karaoke song. Actually, all of them are, but for me it's it's in that order and I'll never forget that.
Speaker 3:Friday night, man, I think it was like May 4th or 5th or some shit like that I was chilling. Um, you know, me and my girl, we were watching I don't know whatever game, some player, maybe a NBA playoff game or something, and he was playing dominoes. And you know I was looking, I was checking Twitter because I had heard the rumblings because, remember that week, um, that Tuesday he dropped Euphoria. Friday he dropped 616. Friday morning he dropped 616 in LA, 616 am. So you heard these rumblings that you know Drake was gonna drop something. Truth be told, I didn't listen to anything Drake put out um later because I knew it was going to be some bullshit. And I haven't listened to Drake until he said, since he said, sierra Canyon parking lot looking like Magic City parking lot.
Speaker 3:Prior to that, I had already had questions about Jaded and Teenage Love, you know, and then you hear the stories about. You know, the millie, bobbies and um, these crazy yacht parties with these underage girls. For me I didn't want to make the same mistake that I made, along with the rest of the world, made with r kelly. Well, we ignore these things because he start, you know he gets accused and you know he makes uh step in the name of love or I believe I could we get distracted by the beat.
Speaker 3:You know, jamming ass music it'll separate the art from the artist and I think in this instance you can't, you cannot separate the art and the artist. It's very tough, just in my opinion. I can't do that. I can't look at him the same. If an R Kelly song comes on, I'm at a restaurant, I don't have no control. If the R Kelly song comes on, I'm at a restaurant, I'm out of control. Okay, cool, I'm listening to it. You know I may slip up and let it play on a playlist every now and again, but for the most part I'm not listening to that dude.
Speaker 3:So that Friday night, you know I already got rumblings. You know I checked Twitter Boom, drake dropped Family Matters, didn't listen to it Didn't want to hear it because I knew the nigga was lying. And I'm glad I trusted my gut feeling because by the end of all of this it turns out the nigga was lying. The Not Like Us video showed all of that. So I was just checking the comments, like you know, people was like oh man, this is hard. And then I saw a tweet from J-Rox and that's it. Watch this. I seen DJ Head was like oh, that's a dud. Like you know, I was looking at the west coast people to see how it was responding and I it's. I swear to god. It was like 32 and a half minutes later meet the grounds, drop and I I don't know man, I press play. Like I said, I've never heard no shit like that.
Speaker 3:It was a very scathing, um, stern, diss slash talking to. I mean, he started off the song saying dear Adonis, I'm sorry that that man is your father. Let me be honest, it takes a man to be a man. Your dad is not responsive. I look at your grandfather and sometimes wish he wore a condom. Wow, um. And then you know, by the time you got to the third verse with the secret daughter, I thought that was the end. All be all, but even if you take that verse out, that last verse, you know, forget a rap battle, that's a long life battle with yourself. My god, it was crazy, man. Um.
Speaker 3:And then the next day, uh, kind of like that late afternoon, early evening, he dropped, not like us, and I didn't really like it at first. I had to listen to it again, like what is this, you know? So I got, I listened to it about the third time. I was like, wow, this is, this is catchy. And then he's like he's going at him, he's going at his character, like it was just um, it was just crazy. You know, the way he broke down the atl and how colonization happened and tying it to Drake, it's just a very, very masterful thing he did. And yeah, man, I'm still in shock by some of it and I still watch reaction videos. It's been sheer entertainment for me for a number of months now.
Speaker 3:And if you fast forward to juneteenth, me and pierre went to the pop-out show, had great, great seats, uh, where we were sitting, slash, standing, uh, we was right behind rhapsody. Rhapsody was about I don't know about three, three rows in front of us. I saw Elliot Wilson man. Who else did? We see, we saw Brian. He was further up in that section, but it was one of the most amazing concerts I've ever been to and I've seen some incredible acts. I've seen Prince live. I've seen Nas, wu-tang and Busta Rhymes, I've seen her Just incredible performers.
Speaker 3:But this right here was something deeper than that man. I don't think the entire concert was about a diss. It was more so about just unifying hip-hop culture on the West Coast, but also hip-hop culture in general, culture on the West Coast, but also hip hop culture in general and trying to unify more provocateurs and people that put thought and heart into their music and not just, you know, a quick hit of bullshit. It was amazing to see Tyler the creator come out. It was amazing to see Steve Lacey. I was familiar with him because I coach, you know, the demographic kids that love, love Steve Lacey and I was giving them a hard time, like y'all, like this dude that can't sing. But you know, when he came out and did his thing, I was like, okay, I'm a fan now. So, uh, yg, roddy, ricch, um.
Speaker 3:It was good to see Dom Kennedy and Problem, aka Jason Martin, like just a lot of West Coast acts, and you know to be in that building to hear E-40 narrate and Kendrick Lamar come from underneath the stage and rap Euphoria, with no backtrack. That's a six minute song. I swear he took two sips of water the entire show. It was crazy. And then the gang's unifying on stage, even in the parking lot. It wasn't no beef, no drama. This is Englewood too. I mean they're going through their gentrification thing right now, but it's still Englewood.
Speaker 3:Everybody was cool. You know they was letting people go. You know, during the traffic, like you know, working the four-way stops, just little things like that. Correctly. It wasn't no beef, no drama. It was truly a monumental moment, moment. I'm grateful that I got to see that. I'm just grateful I got to experience all of this, because for the longest it just seemed like the bullshit was winning and everything the, the tv shows, the news programs, the music it's just like man. Why is it so much bullshit? It's just so much easier to find, but you really gotta search and dig, you know, for the good stuff that feeds your soul. So so you know, for these past few months I'm very grateful that my soul has been fed and, you know, it just seems like there's a shift coming in and I'm excited to see more excited about this new album Whenever we get it. I know he's filming a movie as well.
Speaker 3:And the super bowl performance outside of all the antics, and you know people thinking that um lil wayne should perform, which is a huge mistake. Me and my girl saw the essence fest performance. It was terrible. I'm not even gonna lie to you. The whole shit was terrible. Um, from the hot boys reunion that didn't happen because turk and uh baby are at odds. Wayne didn't even come out with cash excuse me, with cash money. Once they finished, once juvenile finished his last song, uh, wayne came out by himself and literally got on the mic and said my name, I go by the name of Lil Wayne and I represent young money. He didn't say cash money, he said I represent young money and then proceeded to go through his songs.
Speaker 3:Wayne is always going to be Wayne. He got hits, but as far as a performance, I'm in the minority. There's no way that Wayne can put on a better performance than Kendrick, nor does he has the songs that Kendrick has. Wayne may have more songs, don't get me wrong, but at a big stage like this, I'd rather have the quality than the quantity, and I think a lot of people get that messed up. So no shade to him, no shade to people that listen to him. I still listen to Wayne when he comes on um, but I think what kendrick is doing is is really it's, it's noble, it's almost like he's trying to heal all of the hurt that true hip-hop fans and true fans of black culture like myself, you know that don't have a large platform are. He's kind of speaking for us.
Speaker 3:You know, I think mr morale and the big steppers is arguably the most important hip-hop album ever. You may not like it, it may be hard to digest, you know, with songs like father time and, uh, mother, I sober and auntie diaries, um, you know, even even silent hill and n95, like I love the entire project. I think it. It challenged me as a man and I think it's an album that's for people that search for introspective, lifelong learners and people that just want to be better and break generational curses. It takes work to do that. It takes uncomfortable conversations, but so many people are comfortable with just the bullshit, that we can't never get to the good shit. But some people, so many people, are comfortable with just the bullshit, that we can't never get to the good shit. So for me, you know, I'll take Ben the Fool or Purina over kibbles and bits any day. So that is that. And yeah, man can't wait to see what's next. I know he's in the For Real movie coming out October 11th called Piece by Piece. It's going to be good.
Speaker 3:So you know, I have so much more to say about Drake, but I'm going to save that for a later pod because I think things are going to unfold and I'd rather speak on facts than speculation. But the facts that I can say is he's done some very questionable things, from, uh, sliding in most steps, daughters dms and she was, she wasn't quite 18 yet um, to trying to dm or link up with dj muster's ex-wife after he found out he was a producer of not like us, um, you know, to um, you know, bringing a girl on stage, you know, and years ago, but he was still in his mid twenties, early twenties, and the woman clearly said I'm 17. And he said why do you look like that? Then proceeded to kiss and grope her. You know he's done very many questionable things, to being on a streaming platform with a known groomer and this woman was asking people to take off their clothes and you know, let me see your boobs and like why are you even associating yourself with people like this to your inner circle? He now has not one, but two people that is in his circle that have been linked to him, that have been arrested for sex trafficking crimes and is under investigation.
Speaker 3:So for me, I look at the totality of a man. What do you represent? Who's around you, what do you stand for? What is your name attached to? And for me it's just attached to too much bullshit, and I kind of always felt that way. I think God has really given me like a gift of discernment. So normally I'm right. I was right about the R Kelly situation, which is why I stopped listening to him. And same thing with Diddy. Diddy dropped a love album and I thought it was good, but it was some things in there that were very telling. If you go back and listen to some of those songs I like Stay and I like the song with Jasmine Sullivan but if you listen to the songs and I like the song with Jasmine Sullivan, but if you listen to the song, if you listen to the lyrics, don't hear it. Listen to it, read the lyrics.
Speaker 3:Some of those things are very damning, some of the things in the times that he is describing the parties. It's all in front of your face and we did the same thing with R Kelly. We ignored it and it all backfired on us. And I know when I got done watching the R Kelly documentary Surviving R Kelly I was questioning like why were friends around me, family members, why were they so comfortable watching the R Kelly tape? Members, why were they so comfortable watching the R Kelly tape? What was so great about watching a man pee on an underage girl? Why were people going around barbershops selling that? What is wrong with us as a people in a society where we accept that kind of behavior and it's like a sport and it's locker room talk and it's jokes. That shit is not funny, that shit is sick. So for me there's cause to pause on Diddy Drake and other people that may come out, because at the very least they've done something.
Speaker 3:I'm not with cancel culture, but there is a cause to pause because of the allegations and the things that are sticking Now with Diddy. It's over, it's a wrap. He's attached to a lot of music. I don't know how we're going to navigate. Not listening to Faith Evans or 112, or Mary J Blige the list goes on, all of the people that he was attached to, j blige, and you know, the list goes on, all of the people that he was attached to. But when it comes to these sexual crimes and the accusations and things, um, personally I don't listen to drake, not anymore. There's a cause to pause, uh, and until these things are cleared up and it comes out that he's innocent and things like that, you know, maybe I revisit it, but I just think there's too much information out there and, um, I'm not making the same mistake that my older people you know, in my life, friends and family made with R Kelly. So, yeah, man, that is that. And, um, I guess that's the catch up of what's been occupying my time On to some good news. So shout out to my, my girlfriend and soon to be better half whenever I ask and she says yes, hopefully.
Speaker 3:We have been growing so much together and it's been a true joy to do this thing called Life For Her. Because I'm telling you, man, if y'all go back and listen to some of the old podcasts that I recorded, you'll know and you understand why I am so elated right now, like there was so much piss in the dating pool. It was terrible. Oh my God. I blew so elated right now Like there was so much piss in the dating pool. It was terrible. Oh my God. I blew so much money and wasted so much time on the shallowest of women so it got to the point where I almost gave up. But I tell you what man, that March 9th of 2023, um, I was on hinge, I was getting ready to delete it and I got a message that she had sent me a rose and um, for some reason, god, he maneuvered my hands. I clicked on it and we got to check with uh, what day they? We got to yapping and that's how it happened, and we've been locked in ever since then. So you know, it's been great. We just got back from Aruba last month. Prior to that, we went to the DR. We've been to Portugal.
Speaker 3:It's been a joy and a pleasure to, you know, just do life with a normal person that has values and wants to. You know, grow with one person and is not always looking for the best thing. It's not shallow, don't care if we have a rooftop dinner or a picnic at the cliff or we just eating Chick-fil-A in the car. Like you know, these are the simple things that I appreciate after going through what I went through in the dating scene and, like I said, if you're new here to the Accidentally On Purpose podcast, I've been through a lot.
Speaker 3:You talk to a man that is divorced. My mother died a week before the wedding and I've had tragic losses since then. Since January, I've lost two uncles and an aunt. Um, you know, since, uh, since January, I've lost two uncles and an aunt, uh, one to murder and, uh, the other two were overdoses. So, you know, I'm I'm still grieving, you know I'm still, I'm still maneuvering my way through this thing called life. But it's, it's uh, it's a little more doable when you have somebody to do life with, and that's the most important piece of all of this.
Speaker 3:And I think we've gotten to a point where people just like the idea of things. You know, like I said, I've been heavy on threads. I just like the different conversations. It's, for the most part, it's more positive, but what I'm noticing on threads is it's, you know, sometimes it could turn into a dating site.
Speaker 3:There are a lot of unhappy single people and I'm going to tell you something If you are unhappy single person. You're going to be an unhappy person in a relationship. You've got to get to the point where you are happy by yourself. Know yourself, love yourself. So for me, joy is exterior, happiness is interior. Exterior Happiness is interior. I think people need to do a better job of finding their joy and finding their happiness.
Speaker 3:I got to a point where I was so negative because of the negative experiences I was going through I didn't have no happiness inside of me, so my exterior was always grouchy or dismissive or being a complainer, and that affected the way I coached my kids, the way I did my job, and it ultimately consumed me. But it was a breath of fresh air to have a woman by my side that pulled me to the side in a gentle fashion, like, hey, I think you should try this because you're coming off as this. A lot of people aren't, you know, I guess, experienced enough to give that advice, but also in the manner that she gave it and kudos to me as well for being able to receive it so greatly appreciate her for, you know, for rocking with me and pulling me out that dark place that I was in Because, like I said, we've been rocking for 16 months now a year and a half and I think the future is bright and um, yeah, man, we're gonna be. We're gonna be doing a lot together. We got some some big things planned and y'all stay tuned for that. Um, yeah. So, but going back to threads, so one thing that I see a lot is I think people are infatuated with the idea of something.
Speaker 3:So for me, I think, if you, some people are fixated with the idea of a wife or a husband, right, most people don't understand what comes with those desires. Like, you literally have to ask yourself do you want a wedding or a marriage? There's a very, very strong difference. Do you want a wedding or marriage? Do you want to be validated or dedicated? Because if you just want to be validated and post some pictures, get your likes, you know, get in a DM swear with somebody, maybe go on a few dates, that's your validation. But if you're dedicated, then you have to be dedicated to the process. You're going to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, not getting everything that you want and taking other people or that person's input or perspective on what's going on. So if you ask yourself those things, I think the difference may assess where you are in your love journey.
Speaker 3:See, we got to understand what comes with what we're asking for, because after the IG videos, the pics, the proposal, the engagement, even a wedding, the honeymoon, all of that shit, you now have to do life with that person that you said I do to under the eyes of the Lord. And if all you wanted was validation, you're not going to be dedicated in any shape, form or fashion and if that happens, you're not going to have a successful marriage. You may have had a successful wedding, but that's where the buck stops. And I'm here to tell you what I know, not what I think, because I'm a person that lived through it and went through it and I had to do it. And it got to the point where you know, about a year and a half into the marriage, I don't believe we liked each other. I really don't. When you get to the point where you just arguing over little stuff you know too much ice in your cup, like where'd you put my car keys, and that turns into days without y'all talking, y'all don't like each other. Man, you can have God all in the center of your marriage, all you want.
Speaker 3:I was a youth pastor, she was on the praise team. We did not like each other. I am here to tell you, and I think it all stems from I was with someone and I felt like I was with someone that had rather wanted to be validated than dedicated, and then in return, I didn't know how to communicate those messages. So my sharp tongue, it turned into arguments. You know, I played my part as well. It turned into arguments. I played my part as well.
Speaker 3:But take it from me, man Ask yourself do you really, really, really really want a marriage or do you want a wedding? Do you want to be validated or dedicated? I promise you, if you just have that uncomfortable conversation with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of time, money and energy. Time is the most precious thing in this world and we cannot get it back. Sometimes I still get upset of the amount of time that I felt like I wasted in something that didn't serve me, because ultimately, we were in a situation where we just wanted to be validated, where it seemed like the right thing to do.
Speaker 3:Everybody else getting married, let's do it. We in the church, let's appear to be this perfect couple on the exterior, but interior we was like Whitney and Bobby. Mine is the crack. Maybe I should have used that reference. That's a wow reference, but y'all get what I'm saying, man. So that's just a little note for me.
Speaker 3:Man, your boy Keenan, follow me everywhere. At 1 Keenan Hall, man, do you want to be validated or do you want to be dedicated? There's a lot of piss in the dating pool, but trust me, it's still some good, clean chlorine water out here. Maybe I got the last of it, but oh well, I got mine. But nah, man, follow me everywhere. I really appreciate you guys checking me out anytime I drop something. Also, follow the Heavy. On the R&B page. I got a few new listeners. I play nothing but 90s R&B mashups, current R&B, and I just try to provide good sounds on these airwaves and just try to keep this thing called love, black love, especially together, because without that, man, I don't think we're anything. So I'm going to keep pushing forward, but in the meantime, in between, time, time, please put value in yourself so we could put value in each other and we'll have a value society. I'll see y'all next week, peace.