Picking Yourself Up

A few seconds of music can say what pride won’t let you admit. We’re back with Heavy On The R&B, and I’m K-Way, your host and professional inappropriate commentator, walking you through the real story behind my reset: the lyrics I wrote, the voice I borrowed with AI, and the moment I realized my life had to change.

We talk grief and mental health with no filter. My mother passed a week before my wedding, and the years that followed piled on more loss, depression, and a numbness I didn’t know how to name. I break down how church pressure can turn pain into performance, how a marriage can fall apart without cheating or hitting, and how one fight can flip the switch from “work it out” to “I need to be safe.”

Then we get practical. I share why I left Houston, why Phoenix didn’t work out, and how San Diego became the clean start I was praying for. I tell you what the first night alone felt like, what helped me rebuild day by day, and the four essentials I look for in any new city: a therapist, a gym, a barbershop, and a church. We also get into dating apps after a decade-long relationship and why modern dating culture feels like chaos.

Finally, I air out some gripes about today’s R&B and the way young men chase approval from other men while love gets treated like a joke. If you’ve ever had to pick yourself up, this one will hit. Subscribe, share this with somebody rebuilding, leave a review, and tell us: what’s the one habit that helped you survive your hardest season?

Transcript

Cold Open And Theme Song

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Now here's another inappropriate thought. Kway.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Somewhere in New York, there's an obese rat trafficking a school of mice for cheese pizza crumbs on a New York subway. Let's start the show.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Heavy on the army. Yeah. Never knew how heavy I was till I had to pick myself up. Pick myself up. Mama gonna weep a photo at it. Stoop still hanging on the back door. Smile on my face at the altar. With my heart laid out on the church floor. Moved out ring off in a loose city. Rands with his eyes when it got gritty. Therapist couch tears on my shirt. Ask God why this face gotta hurt. I was broke to my soul, but I didn't mind. Held on to the world with my hands, gave it off used to the doopin's gotta be closer. On my light is what you do.

Welcome Back And Show Purpose

SPEAKER_00 3:25

It feels so good to be back potty, man. It has been god damn three, three and a half, four years almost. Anyways, man, welcome to the new show. This is heavy on the RB. Um, man, I'm your host, your creator, your editor, and your professional inappropriate commentator. I go by the name of K Way in these YouTube streets on these Instagram profiles, and even in your mama's bed. I'm kidding, I am kidding, I am a taken soon to be married man. But what is up, people? Really good to be back with you all. Um man, I know I got hella questions to answer. What happened, where I've been, what's going on, um, and we're gonna get to all of that. A lot of a lot of new changes, and um, yeah, we just we just gonna have a good time and try to, you know, make this heavy world a little lighter, a little inappropriate banter, but also um a lot of uh a lot of enlightenment. So if you know me from YouTube, you know, I I I kind of get wild in the comments. Um that's uh that's that's part of K-Way, but you guys will see. Uh my testimony is strong. I've been through a lot, and we're here to discuss it all. Um, this is a R and B based podcast. So, what I'll be doing um on this new show, you know how we all got songs that get us through tough times, and and I kind of want to break that down. I want to I want to dive deeper. I want to I want to tackle a new lane. Uh, I don't think nobody's in this lane, especially from male POV, uh, the things that I've been through. So we are going to do that. Um, in the in in in the meantime, in between time, I just hope everybody gets some kind of enlightenment, you know. Uh, whether you like it, whether you hate it, uh, as long as you feel something leaving this pot, I think I have done my job, and we just gonna keep rocking. Um, I like those who who like me. Uh, and if you don't like me, you can hit your pinky toe on the corner of your wall every morning when you wake up. Hit yourself in the face as many times as you can. All right, so the question, where have I been?

Using AI To Voice His Lyrics

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Man, ooh, that song you heard was a song that I created. Uh, so I wrote those lyrics and laid down my vocals. Turns out I can't sing, I can't sing for shit. So I'm trying to hit up some of my homies and frat brothers, like, hey, can y'all sing this for me? And they was like, Man, that's that's a lot of words to fit in, you know, to certain bars and sound structure. So, unwillingly, I discovered Suno AI. Uh, but I'm not using this for a rap battle, I'm not uh, you know, I'm not using this to to make money or whatever. Just trying to get my thoughts. So those are my words. Um, my beat arrangement, my song arrangement, just a different voice. Uh, maybe one day I'll let you guys hear the reference track, but it's terrible. God dang, I can't sing. I I sound like two camels humping in the desert sun. It is crazy bad, really, really bad. So, um, but yeah, that's what this pack podcast will be centered around. Um, and yeah, let's get into it.

Marriage Ending And Houston Pressure

SPEAKER_00 6:30

So, last time I was with you all, I had think I had just got to San Diego. So we'll we'll rewind. We'll we'll we'll uh we'll back it up. Um, so yeah, I'm not I'm not married anymore um to the person that was my um ex-wife. And I'm gonna try to keep this respectful at all times. Um, but you know, sometimes you just gotta put the goats where they you gotta put you gotta put it where the goats can get it. And the other and that's what my granddaddy used to say. So whatever the fuck that means. I think it means like really shoot from the hip or something like that. Um so yeah, so I left Houston. Um let's take it back to 2021. 2021, um, I was in Houston, you know, everybody know me, you know, from Houston at the at the church. I was one of the youth leaders at Higher Dimension. Uh also serves at Wheeler, Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church. Shout out that that's my home church. I still consider that my home church because there's a lot of unseasoned churches here in San Diego, and we'll talk about that on another day. But y'all got way too much white influence out here in y'all choirs. I'm just saying. Shout out to Bayview, though. They like one of the few, but um, let me stop. So that summer, I want to say like April, um, me and my ex-wife, we were planning to move to Oakland so much so we took a trip. Um, you know, we we found a really nice condo right on Broadway in between uh well, it was like the border of Berkeley and Oakland, right off right off Broadway. Um gosh, I think it's called Tamascale was the road. So shout out to anybody listening to the uh from the bay. Y'all think it was called Tamascale Road. Uh in hindsight, I'm so glad I didn't move to Oakland. Um, man, y'all, I don't know what's going on with y'all police department, but the average response time of 27 minutes is crazy. Um, and and the way y'all be bipping and stealing cars, and at the time I had a D-Boy charger, I know I would have got into some trouble out there. So kind of glad that God shielded me and protected me from that. But anyway, so you know, everything is cool. We in Oakland, we looking for a house or whatever, um, or an apartment. We found a place. But truth be told, I think I think it was kind of like on the horizon um from the get. Um, those of you don't that don't know, I got married in 2018. And my mother passed a week before the wedding, right? So it was like a range of emotions, it was crazy. Um, so my mother passed October 23rd. I got married November 3rd. I funeralized and eulogized my mother on November 7th. So it was like an up and down roller coaster that happened. And then, you know, you fast forward to you know, several months later, COVID happened. I ended up losing my job. I think the whole world was in a frenzy. You know, we were all trying to try to deal with Trump. We was coming off the back of um of um George Floyd. Um, who else was it? Ahmad Auberry. Yeah, it was that was just a crazy summer. It was I don't know, I can't really put that time into words, man. It's just, man, I don't, I'm I'm damn near speechless, and and that's hard for me, but it was a really, really tough time, you know. Um, so man, I got I got really, really down bad. I mean, about with depression just because all of the loss. I don't think a lot of people knew what I was really going through. Um, you know, along with my mother being passed, I lost my aunt to an overdose and uh I lost both grandparents. Um, and it was it was it was a like a just a crazy tough time. It's hard to go through that when you in the fight by yourself. Anybody that's that's married or um has been in a relationship, you and you've been through this, you kind of identify what I'm saying. It takes two, man. So if you don't have a um, I don't want to say competent, that's not that's kind of incorrect. You know, she she ain't stupid, but she dealt with me stupidly. Let's just let's just say it like that. So it was kind of like I had an absent, absentee wife. So, you know, it started there, but you know, I just kept putting band-aids on on top of everything, plus, you know, the church pressure stay together, and you know, y'all work it out. No matter how bad the situation is, you know, church folk want you to work it out. I could walk into the church carrying it in my head because she done solved it off with an axe and my asshole split open. It's and they go, Oh, you know, just pray about it. You're gonna be all right, like, man, nigga, my asshole is leaking. What you talking about? So, anyway, so I'm sorry, Lord, it just bothers me, man. Um, so fast forward back to 2021. We get back, um, we get into an argument. We we argued a lot, like a lot. And and what I'll say, my part in this is I'm I was the type of person that didn't like to deal um with a lot of conflict because I I had learned some bad habits. My parents were married. Um, my mother, all the way up to my mother passed, they was married with 38 years, but you know, they had one of them old, you know, if you was born in the 60s, man, them niggas know how to endure. Like they let a lot of shit slide. A lot. Like, I cannot believe some of the things my parents would say to each other and walk past each other and I speak for weeks. It was like, man, I'm learning these bad habits. So I didn't really want to deal with confrontation. And and my defense mechanism was like, well, fuck it. I'll I'll leave. Let's get a divorce. And I understand no woman likes to hear that. No woman likes to be in a relationship saying, like, you know, I'll leave or let's not be together. Like, don't nobody that's not really um conducive to keep you all together. Um, so that was my I own that, you know, and I and I respect that, and I know that I played a part in that. Um, but the but the the big fight that happened, and and you know, maybe I'll get into the details later, but um, you know what? Here, I'll I'll play some clips. This is this is how the fight went.

The Fight That Sealed Divorce

SPEAKER_02 12:25

You don't trust me. No, I don't. You don't know shit about trust, okay? You don't. I don't even know what the fuck you talking with. Look, you know what? You can do both of us a real big favor. Just come over to my crib and get your shit. Why would you want to be with somebody you don't trust?

SPEAKER_00 12:49

So as you can see, it was um man, a lot of yelling, uh, a lot of disrespectful things said on her end to me. Um, I ain't never been the type to be like super rah-rah. If you know me, I'm I'm pretty mellow until until you get me there, you know, because I I know the optics of of like the way it would look. You know, me being 6'3, um, you know, upwards of 250, like it'll it'll look bad. You know, the the oculars of it is just it'll it'll look bad. Um, plus you you know, a woman, you don't you don't really want to handle them like that. So um, you know, I took that on the chin. But it's hard, you know, it's really hard to be called a bitch and you know, a fuck nigga, and you ain't a man, and this then the third. So, you know, I had already had the um the papers printed out. I was done at this point, man. So man, I went ahead and went in there reluctantly and was like, you know, it's it's over. Um, I don't want to be in this marriage no more. I want to divorce, let's do this. So uh instantly it turned into you know her just like really smutting my name. Mind you, I ain't never raised my my voice. Um, I'm lying. I have raised my voice in arguments, but I've never raised my hand, I've never, you know, felt made her feel unsafe. Um, but the straw that broke the camel's back for me is when you know we were face to face and uh and we were arguing, and she's calling me all kinds of bitches, she's spitting on me, you know, she hit me, and and and the trigger thing was um I feel unsafe. I should call the police. Now, mind you, we in a suburb of Houston. We're not too far from where Sandra Bland um got done wrong. Um this is this is uh you know, this is off the heels of the Trump administration. This is Texas, you know what I'm saying? This ain't this this ain't California where I live now. This is Texas. And when I heard that, it just sent me into like uh a betrayed rage. Like, man, I'm not I'm not doing this. So I gave her the papers. Um, you know, she began to to you know put smoke on my name and be smudge it, be smurge it, is that whatever that word is. I'm taking it on the chin because at this point I'm just numb to it. Like, man, I'm tired. Like I'm beyond tired.

Depression Loss And Starting Therapy

SPEAKER_00 15:04

I done I done battled depression, I done battled all the passings, you know, a failed uh suicide attempt, man. It was just a lot, it was a lot that was going on. Um, and I just I just I just took it, you know. Um, our lease was about to be up, so we stayed in the house together for about a month, month and a half, and I I just started doing silly shit to get out the house to get away from her. I started driving Amazon Flex. I don't know why the fuck I was doing that. Uh picking up them packages and just you know, it was a side hustle. I didn't need the money. Um, it's just I really didn't want to be around. I did like it's it's crazy the the the ends of the earth a person will go to get away from a motherfucker they no longer want to deal with. It's crazy. Uh and this is after the fact where you know I I kind of hesitated on on a divorce. I I remember asking her maybe like a few days after that, like, damn, do we really want to do this? And she really couldn't, you know, like make up her mind. And I'm the type like, fuck it, I'll make it up for you. Like, I I don't I don't even know why I asked this. Like, I'm sticking to this. Um so yeah, so you know, I'm I'm praying and I'm fasting. I started therapy, right? Now the first uh God, I don't even know if I should tell this story. Fuck it, I'm gonna tell it all, man. Um, that's why we're here. Straight talk, no chaser, heavy on an RB with K-Way. Um, so the first time I went to therapy, it was I I sought out a black woman. Now I thought I was gonna get an old um, you know, thick elbow woman with uh with auntie arms, but I didn't. I got a woman that was attractive in me being in a deprived marriage, a newly uh step separated onto a divorced man, my eyes was wide open. I'm in there trying to bang the therapist, like like they said on uh Oh Bad Boy. So what did uh Martin Lewis tell uh Will Smith, you're not supposed to bang your therapist, man.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

So Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist. See, now you're just talking nasty.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Yeah, I uh I went in there lying to my therapist, you know. The same shit J. Cole and Drake do. Um, that's why Drake therapists don't want to deal with them now. And they keep lying. He's annoying. I I would hate to be his therapist. I'd be like, man, just go to hell. Like, it's probably more comfortable down there for you. But anyway, we'll talk about that another time. Um, but you know, I I I wisened up and realized, like, man, you you need to stop lusting over this married woman. That ain't nobody but the enemy, you know, truthfully. Um, but she she helped me. Um, and she was just like, man, you know, like you need to really make sure you're sure about this. I was like, yeah, man, I gotta get out of Houston. I don't want to be nowhere in her vicinity. I I need vicinity. I need a um, I need a new start. I need to be somewhere where I can just have peace. It's too much going on, you know. The church is in our business. I got people coming and telling me things that she did outside the marriage that, you know, it's like, damn, you know, you comfortable enough to tell me this now. I should beat your ass. You should have told me to begin with. But that's neither here nor there. Um, so yeah, after praying and fasting, I was like, you know what, fuck it. I'm gonna move back to Phoenix. Uh move to Phoenix from Houston for her, ironically. So uh yeah, never, never move across the country for um a person that is not your significant other. I'll just leave that there and we can talk about that at another time. I'm jot down all this stuff that we're gonna tackle. This is gonna be a journey, all right? We're gonna we really gonna grow together, we're gonna get enlightened, we're gonna motivate each other, and we're gonna make this heavy world a little lighter on this journey. So um, so yeah, so I found a place in Phoenix, right? Boom. Uh this is probably like July. My birthday is in July. So I go out there, I see my old friends, my boys. I went to um my old church, and I'm like, all right, cool, I could live here again. I got a community, and that's that's what I needed at that moment. It was a community. Um, so I get back, I get back to Houston, and man, for some reason, this this summer, like if anybody is in Phoenix, you know that summer 2021, there was like a crazy like storm, or I think they call it a uh it was like monsoon season or Haboom or something, something like that. So the construction on the new apartment property that I was gonna move into, it flooded. Flooded. They said it wasn't gonna be ready till November. Mind you, our leases up August like 19th. This is mid-late July. I'm like, I'm scrambling. I'm like, shit, I don't, I don't know, I don't know where the hell I'm gonna live. So I said, you know what? I'm just I I gotta, you know, I extreme measures call for extreme um obedience. So man, I I literally I got on my knees, man. I prayed, I put my shoes under my bed at night just so I could wake up in the morning and remember to fall to my knees and continue to ask and thank God and like really seek his guidance. Like, man, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know I don't want to be here, but I ain't really got nowhere to go. I'm not moving back to my hometown. I'm not moving back to Indianapolis. I'm not, I barely made it out. I'm not moving back there. Um, so you know, for some reason, uh like God put on my heart San Diego.

Choosing San Diego For A Reset

SPEAKER_00 20:16

I knew I knew somebody out here. Um, we grew up together, we ran track together. Um, she was my homegirl at one point in time. Um, that's a whole nother story. We'll talk about that uh too. Damn, I got a lot to talk about. So I didn't really think I can afford it, but you know, I was doing okay. I had some savings. I had closed a few deals um before I left. So I had I had some cash, like some, you know, some uh some thousands coming in, uh upwards 25,000, 30,000, two deals, you know, so that's about 60. So I was cool, you know what I'm saying? I was like, all right, I could I can make this work. I didn't really want to move there um on a one-income household because I know how expensive it is to live in California. And and I l I moved straight, you know, I p I chose to live downtown uh San Diego. So I decided to uh you know to make that move. Um I found a place, I got approved. Nigga credit wasn't the best, especially after dealing with what I was dealing with in the marriage, you know what I'm saying? And like, so you know, God worked that out. Um I remember the last night in the house. Um I'm sleeping in, I'm sleeping in the guest room, she's sleeping in the um the master bedroom, the master suite. So we we we really ain't see each other, you know. We you know, we didn't really cross paths like that. Um I seen her, and I think her last words was like, like, so you ain't so she was she said, so you really ain't gonna tell me where you're gonna go. And I just felt so disgusted. Like I just looked at her with so disgust and was like, it don't even matter. I pray we never cross paths again. My shit was in my car, it was in my charger. I I moved with like, I don't know, two, two black hefty defty bags, um, uh a casserole dish. That my mom left me, you know, my shoes, my clothes. Um, and I let her keep everything else, you know, the house, the the backyard furniture, the um well, we was leasing the house, but the furniture in the house, the you know, the beds, dining room tables, washer and dry, everything. I was like, Man, you can have this shit. I don't want nothing to do with it. I need a new start, I need some peace. So it was cool, you know. That that journey um from Houston to San Diego, it's a trek. I ain't gonna lie to you. Um, I don't I don't getting to California ain't the problem. It's getting out of Texas. I think it took me like 10 or 12 hours to get to El Paso. I remember stopping in El Paso and I thought to myself, I said, damn, it's a lot of healthy women in this city, and it's dusty. Um, no shot, no, no, uh, no shade. I love healthy women. Um, shout out to y'all. But uh uh, so I had to stop and get me a um Bank of America cashier's check. Uh, you know, the first and last month rent. Take care of all of that. So um I stopped in Tucson. Well, I stopped in Phoenix. I cut up through Tucson and cut up to Phoenix to stay the night. And my boys, they came and checked on me. Um, they knew what was going on. Um, you know, shout out shout out to B Trot, shout out to Greg, man. I appreciate y'all, brothers. Y'all know in that moment how much that meant to me just to have like that, that type of uh community. Because man, I was doing this shit on my own, you know. Um, my dad was still grieving over my mom, and you know, it's hard being a widow. My sister was going through whatever she was going through. Um, the same for my brother. So, you know, I appreciate y'all. So, you know, I we we went bowling, we had a few drinks, we fellowshiped. The next morning, I got up about five in the morning. I'm on the way to uh to San Diego. Um, I think I got there about 10, 10 in the morning. So by this time, I had I had knew everything. Uh thank I know this is crazy to say. This is crazy to say. I don't really rock with dude, but I mean I needed Amazon at that moment, you know. So um, you know, my sister, if you listen, I apologize. Uh I don't fuck with Jeff Bezos, but I needed everything at that moment. So um, you know, I had it set up to where I had a new bed, uh, TV couch, furniture table, all of that. Um, yeah, so I had all of that in the storage room. Um, you know, parked my car, began to unpack. Took me all day to unpack. Um, nobody helped. I ain't know nobody in the city, been, I didn't, I ain't know where to go, whatever. I remember the first thing I did was I stopped and got some gas downtown, which was stupid. Never get gas in downtown San Diego. It's like two to two thousand fifty cents higher than what it should be. Um, and I just remember looking at that water, and I just I felt like a sense of calmness um because uh the gas station was like right on the harbor. If you're familiar with San Diego, it's right in um uh seaport village area. So, you know, I felt I felt I felt like I was gonna be all right.

First Night Alone And Breakdown

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Mind you, I'm distracting myself. I'm I'm moving, you know, the the the uh the internet people came, the people from Best Buy mounted the TV on the wall for me. Uh, you know, I was sitting on my bed, I'm unpacking my clothes, I'm like super, super, super busy, right? So I had came to San Diego a few times for work. This is my favorite city. Um, so I took myself to dinner to a place called uh Cannonball, right on Mission Beach. Sat in front of the water, uh, had some salmon tacos, couple Mai Thai's, um, you know, rode a little bit, thought just sitting there by myself, just chilling. And um, yeah, I get back to the house. Um, I went, I think I stopped at the dispensary and in the liquor store. Got a got some Earl Stevens shout-out E40, had some Earl Stevens, uh, you know, and and had some purple Kush. And I remember sitting on that balcony and just wondering and thinking to myself, how the fuck did I get here? How did how did I go from having a wife, having a house, um, having you know the the church and the youth in the palm of my hand, being a known name in the city of Houston, which is a very large city to be known in, um, you know, having men's basketball league, fellowship, friends, vacations, um, man, everything, you know, going St. Martin, Anguilla, Bermuda, Bermuda, Aruba, um, man, everywhere, having a destination wedding in a DR, and you know, Byron, Louis, Louis Batons, and um man, YSL bags and hills, and like, you know, how do I go from this glamorous life to this small ass apartment in downtown San Diego by myself? Man, I must have sparked up that joint. And I don't know what got into that Earl Stevens glass that day, but man, as soon as I took a sip of the devil's nectar, the emotion started to just rush out of me like no other. It was like I couldn't stop it. It was like, damn, like I don't remember crying when my mom passed. Um, I just kept myself busy. Uh, I don't remember, you know, when my auntie overdosed and my and my grandparents when they passed, it was just it was just like one thing after another, you know, like boom, boom, boom, boom. But I think when I finally got a chance to sit down and be still, man, it was just like a a crazy range of emotion. And it then it it quickly turned into like anger and resentment. Um, because I I got a list of bitch ass niggas I ain't forgiving. I'm like baby king with it. Like, I don't wish you the best. I I wish that you get whatever guy got come to you in the negative, most negative fashion. Like, um yeah, it's it's a it's a lot of fuck niggas. I ain't forgetting, like it's a lot. So um, you know, we'll we'll we'll talk about that. Um, you know, at another time. Uh shots fired. Um, so yeah, so after that, you know, that that first night was uh it was it was tough. It was tough. Woke up the next morning though, that sun, I ain't never seen no shine, no sunshine like this. California sunshine different. I mean, this shit is beaming. I thought the Lord had a magnifying glass on me, and I was an ant. Like, this shit was nuts, man. That shit came through the window, and it was at that moment I was like, man, I just I gotta get up. I gotta pick myself up. But the problem with picking yourself up, like the song that I wrote, um, you never know how heavy you are until you have to pick your own self up. And what I mean by that is you don't have no help. You don't have nobody in your corner. Can't nobody walk through this life but you. Your mother can't do it for you, your friends, your siblings. You you can't do nothing. You know what I'm saying? Like, you just gotta do it by yourself, you know. Like, you gotta put your shoes on one at a time and strap them shoelaces, man, and you gotta get back to work. And that's what I did. I found me uh a therapist. The first therapist I had was terrible. She was in a polyamic relationship, she was trying to bang me. I said, damn, this is karma. Um, but you know, she ain't have enough hair, so I ain't really find her attractive. Um that's politically heroic. Like, not that I got a problem, because like, damn, I shouldn't have said that. You know what? Fuck it. Like the woman on cross, beautiful woman with a fade. But this woman, like, she had like I don't know, man. I think I donated a dime to her, like back in the day, like in some zoo books. Like, she was like, you know, hella ethnic. Um, no shade to that though, but I ain't really want to deal with you know polyamory and and all of that. I I got ADD. I I can't be juggling two, three women at a time, and I get annoyed easily, especially if they're young. A young woman can't do nothing for me except get the fuck out of my face. Like, that's it. Um, but anyways, so yeah, man, I found me a therapist, uh, found me a barbershop, found me a gym, found me a track.

Rebuilding Essentials And Dating Shock

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Those are my main essentials. Anytime I move to a new place, I have to find those things: a track, a barbershop, a church, a therapist. Like those are the my four key ingredients, like to really overcoming in the shit that I've been through, uh, you know, in my life, and it's it's always worked out that way. So, you know, after I found them things, man, I just took it, I just really just took it one day at a time. And um, excuse me, unbeknownst to me, the world changed. I had been with one person almost 10 years, literally only had eyes for her. I ain't really even think about you know looking the other way or or trying to step out on our marriage. So just imagine what I went through trying to date. Oh my god. I ain't never man, it was so much piss in this dating pool. Like, man, that's gonna be that's gonna have to be a whole different um like topic or podcast. I really gotta tell y'all the how I felt. I I fell into uh failed serial dating. I was on my apps, was Hinge, Bumble, um, Black, uh, Facebook dating. Man, that's some of the most raggedy shit I've ever did in my life. And it took a lot of my money, so you know, we'll talk about that. But, you know, that's what happened. That's how I ended up in San Diego. Um, that's how I'm no longer married. Um, you know, but I did find love again. Uh wedding bill soon is fall. And, you know, we'll talk about that as well. But yeah, that's that's what happened. I'm here, God willing. You know, I had to pick myself up. You know, sometimes you gotta be broken to be made whole again. And what I learned is a lot of things that we go through in this life, it ain't even necessarily for us. In some kind of like weird, twisted way, you know, scripture says uh God's ways and thoughts are not ours. What I what I went through, I think, is for other people. And I think it's it's powerful enough to hear from a male, a male's point of view. I didn't cheat, I didn't hit her, you know what I'm saying? I wasn't like uh the the dark bald nigga on a Medea movie, you know what I'm saying? Like I this was just I think it was just two people that didn't match. Um, I believed in we and she just believed in like I, like singular. You know, it really wasn't um teamwork there. So that's what happened. I'm in Dago now, I'm thriving, I'm doing well, and I'm gonna keep doing well. Um, you know, your boy done lost 35 pounds, uh you know, got uh graduated from UCLA, got got that master's. Um man, life is good. Life is good, but I'm not I'm not uh dumb enough to know that we're all just a shortfall from grace. So I appreciate every moment, and that's why on YouTube, you know, you know, I clown in the comments, but also I I watch what I consume. I think too many people consume too many things. I can't attend everybody live, you know. I might be in three, four, and even and I'm I'm even gonna start cutting that short. Um, you know, because I think we all need to just get out the house, man. Get get out from this damn computer, go touch some grass, go travel, you know what I'm saying? Like, go invest, do something. There's more to life than all of this bullshit, you know what I'm saying? All of the like, you know, Trump is trying to take away mail-in voting, and we sitting here arguing about, you know, cold interviews and and and Drake being a waffle colored princess, you know, saying, like, it's just we know what it is. What we gotta do is just can't let nobody we can't let nobody pull the wool over our eyes, but also we can get away from this and we can start pouring into ourselves. And that's the reason for this podcast. That's the reason why I'm going to choose some of the songs that I'm gonna choose and center it around. Um, it's the impact, man. Because I believe that if we just put value on ourselves and then we can in turn put value on each other, we might fuck around and have a value society, and that's what it's about because we all just a shortfall from grace, and we're all living on borrowed time, so yeah, man.

Putting Value Into Yourself

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Um next topic before I wrap up the show. Um, you know, I just I got I got some gripes. I really have some gripes, and I don't like what I see, and I don't know, man. Y'all just listen to Moesha. Alright. Kway's gripes.

K-Way’s Gripes About YNs

SPEAKER_00 34:27

Um, first off, YNs. I'm tired of y'all. I really am. Like, man, I think YNs are the reason why RB is in the state that is in today. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some good artists. You know, you're lucky I'm more of a lucky day fan than like a Leon Thomas. Uh I fuck with Leon Thomas. Uh El May, I think El Mai. We're going to see him uh at May in May, actually. There are some good RB artists, but I think a lot of this is like rooted in toxicity. Ain't nobody in love no more. A quick story. My boy Kid got married. Shout out to my boy Kid. Um, we've been friends since college. That's my guy. He got married. I went to his bachelor party. He lives in Dallas. We went to a club. We get a section. To the right of me is another section. To the left of me is another section. All niggas. Not one woman in sight. All the women are across the bar talking to each other and taking pictures. And it dawned on me YN's have really messed up the algorithm. And this is this is my thing. You men gotta stop being so obsessed with other men. You niggas will go to the mall with your with your homie, another man. Buy shoes with another man. Buy clothes with another man. Use your other man's creed, another man. Go to the club to sit next to another man. And share a motherfucking hookah stick with another man. I'm tired of it. Y'all need to grow up. What happened to getting the everything you everything a man used to do in his world used to be for a woman? Literally, the way you cut your hair, what cologne you wear, like what you trying to, like the the like your I used to premeditate pregame Mac before I went to the club. When I was going to the club, I knew who what I was gonna do, what drink I was gonna drink when the song came on, and if I saw a certain shorty that I saw the week before and I didn't get a chance to get at her, I that was I zeroed in. Nowadays it ain't like that. We're so obsessed. Well, y'all are so obsessed with trying to impress other men, and I don't understand it. Please, please, fellas, YNs, I'm pleading with you. Women are out here, they're bored, they're lonely, and before long, if y'all don't quit, all the women are gonna take all the women, and then you're just gonna be left with your other man. That's a little note here from K Ways Gripes.

Closing Message And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Good people, man. Y'all have been good to me today. I appreciate anybody listening from my voice to your ears. I really appreciate it, and um, and I just hope that y'all keep rocking with me, whether you like it or you love it, as long as you got some kind of emotion from it. Um, it's a good thing. You get a little bit of insight of who I am, and uh, you know, you'll keep you'll keep getting more insight uh of my story and and you know the things that I like, what makes me tick, and you know, just just get to know Kway, man. So we going and we we growing and we glowing and and we just gonna keep on going, man. So until next time, man, remember please put value in yourself so we can put value in each other, and we might fuck around and have a value society. Peace.