Friends & 4Play

Some friendships fade quietly. Others break loudly. Either way, the older I get, the more I realize friendship is not just about history, it’s about alignment. Week nine of Heavy on the R&B starts with gratitude for everyone supporting the show, then goes straight into the real work: defining what a friend actually is when you’re grown, guarded, and trying to live on purpose.

I open up about how growing up independent shaped my trust, my boundaries, and why I can be comfortable on my own. From being the kid who handled responsibilities early to learning how to read a room and leave when something feels off, those patterns follow you into adult relationships. We talk about why “making friends in your 30s” can feel so hard, why friends in your 20s are often friends of proximity, and how life events like marriage, divorce, grief, and financial pressure can filter your circle fast.

Then I tie it to culture, including the Jay-Z freestyle and what it reveals about elevation, resentment, and the way people throw dirt on your name when they can’t follow you to the next level. I also bring it home to R&B group dynamics, where brotherhood, business, and ego collide, and I close with a blunt gripe about fitness influencer culture, performative “athlete” branding, and hypersexualization in the gym.

If any of this hits home, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation. What have you outgrown, and what boundary are you finally ready to keep?

Transcript

Gym Image Versus Real Effort

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Right now there's a group of fitness models at your local gym wearing $200 shoes, $90 leggings, $150 top, but they're only giving 99% effort in a gym workout. Which is probably why they're built like DJ Khaled. Let's start the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

All of you now to make it. I've got a girl back. It's gonna be a little bit more than that.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

Before we go any further, let's be friends. The word we use every day. Most of the time we use it in the wrong way. Now you can look the word up and beginning again. But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends. And if you ask me, you know I couldn't be much help. Because the friends don't body, you judge for yourself. Some are okay and they treat you real cool. And some mistake of kindness for being the fool. We like to be with some because they're funny. Others come around when they need some money. Stuff to do with around away, and you're still real close to this very day. Homeboys through the summer, winter, spring, and fall. And then they summer which we never knew at all. And this list goes on again and again. But these are the people that we call friends.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Welcome back to another edition of the Heavy on the RB podcast. I go by the name K Way. I am your host, your proprietor, your professional YouTube inappropriate commentator at times, the creator

Welcome, Gratitude, And The Journey

SPEAKER_00 3:25

of the show, All Things Heavy on RB. That is he. He is I. Welcome back. Week nine. Damn, I should be a rapper. That kind of kind of flowed a little bit. No, I can't. I can't. Um, I can't know. I can't catch the beat. Like, I'm more of a poet. I did a lot of poetry and slam competitions in college. Man, what a weekend. Mine's was good. Hope you guys' uh weekend was good as well. We are here, we are back, we are breathing, we are living, and we're gonna talk about the rhythms and the blues of life where we can just grow from these conversations, get to know me a little bit better, and um yeah, man, maybe you know I can get you guys a little better. First off, I want to um give glory to God as always. This is my acceptance speech. I want to thank everybody that has um tuned in and supported me, man. Whether it's the mixed cloud or it's the podcast, man, the the like my following is growing, you know, and it it's still small. You know, I'm I'm just a small YouTube uh podcaster, I'm not a content creator, at least not yet. I'm just really doing it because it's therapeutic. And um, I'm ignorant to a lot of these things. I didn't know that they were uh podcast awards. Um, you know, I got word that there's possibility I maybe, you know, could submit for a nomination or something for uh, you know, a black podcast award. And then also my mix set on MixCloud debuted in the top 50. Didn't even know that was a thing. Um, but you know, like I told my fiance, I'm I'm kind of glad I'm ignorant to the numbers and everything because um I just want to do it from the heart, you know what I mean? Like I do this as an outlet to really impuse my platform to try to impact others and give my my uh my male point of view, but from a fair-minded um aspect as well, just the the trials and tribulations that I've been through, whether it's um divorce, if it's grief, surviving, suicide attempts, whatever, man. So thank you. Greatly appreciate it, and man, we just gonna keep rocking. This is only the beginning, and yeah, man. So we are here, week number nine, and that was Brandy, best friend, and Houdini friends. So if you can't tell, that's what we're talking about today, man. I want to dive into the intricacies

Defining Friendship In Adulthood

SPEAKER_00 5:54

of friendship. What does it mean to you? What does it mean to me? Why is it hard making friends um in your adult years, especially your 30s? Like, it's it's very tough, you know, trying to meet other like-minded individuals. And um I would say, especially like someone like myself, where I'm not um, I'm not everybody's cup of tea, and I don't really try to be. I'm I'm very recluse, and I think that my heart is a little hardened from just betrayal and life circumstances and things that I've been through. So definitely want to talk about that. Um, and definitely want to get into the Jay-Z freestyle and and just tie it all back together right here on Heavy on the RB with K-Way. So let's get into it, man. What I noticed was um, so let's back up. So I'm a middle child, but in a sense, I'm a I'm like an only child because my my sister is eight years younger than me, and my brother is ten

Growing Up Alone And Self-Reliant

SPEAKER_00 7:00

years older than me. So, long story short, my brother left the house. Well, got kicked out the house when I was like five, four, five years old. He got um he got sent down to Tennessee with my mom's side of the family. You know, I talked about on the last episode, therapy notes, I talked about my grandmother and how we fell out. So he he was living with them, you know. That's so he we were raised totally different, but at the same time, he's 10 years my senior. So what I noticed was I really kind of had to do a lot on my own, and I got comfortable, you know, being by myself. Uh, because um, I'm not trying to throw you under the bus, bro. Like if you listen to this, but he really wasn't around, you know, uh growing up. He was in, you know, living in the streets. He was I come I'll I'll put it like this. I come from a real, real official family, a real official line of men. Whether I agree with their actions or not, um, I appreciate all of them. My my uncles, um, whether present or not, my brother, whether present or not, my dad always been present. So yeah, ain't no not to that. That's my guy. But I come from a real, real line of official, thorough men. Um meaning like street wise, you know, these are these are folks that was, you know, running with BMF. Um lot of a lot of gangster disciples were you know what we lived at in my family. So um I come from that. So in a sense, I I'm I I'm appreciative of the tough love that I the little bit that I did have while they were in and out of my life. Um so not trying to throw you under the bus, bro, but I I kind of had to do a lot on my own. So I started kindergarten at the age of four. I was with what they call a whiz kid. And it was just because I had to grow up fast. You know, by the time I was, you know, um three, hell, I had already walked from the babysitter's house. And and her house was across on South Bend Avenue, which is right across the street from um the University of Notre Dame. So bit busy intersection, busy street. I slipped out the back door. She had too many kids, she really wasn't paying attention to me. And I knew how to get home. I walked home, and my when my parents came home from work, um, they saw me on top of the stairs playing with my ninja turtles. Just quiet, quiet as can be. You know, I just knew I didn't I didn't really want to be there no more. You know, I didn't that lady was mean, she was mean to me, she was mean to um to everybody, and the irony is that's kind of how I always been. I'll just up and leave. Like if I don't feel if it don't feel right in my spirit, I got no problem leaving. I've I done been in a lot of situations, I done been to places by myself. If it don't feel right to me, I'll just up and leave. So shout out to uh Miss Diggins. And she was the babysitter, you know. I felt like she was me. I don't, I think she passed away by now, but fun fact, Miss Diggins is the relative. I ain't gonna really say too much, she's the relative of a famous WNBA player with the same last name, and we're all related, we're all kin. You know, we're all you know, right there. October London, who is an amazing singer, he's from South Bend. You know, it it is a very small degree of separation. Um, and if you know, you know. So, you know, I started kindergarten when I was four, and I was a lock-key kid. I had the key around my neck on the string. Um, you know, I I the first order of business was after you get off the bus, you come home, you lock the door, you don't answer it, you don't let nobody in. You call me at my job and you let them and you ask for me, you say my full name, and and then you that way I know you home. So I open the door, I lock it, put the key back on the um on the holster, it's right by the door, so I don't um you know forget it or lose it. I call Lens Crafters, that's where moms was working at at the time, and you know, may I speak to so-and-so? And I'm home, mom. All right, don't answer the door. And then that turned into a little more responsibility. Um, you know, can you can you thaw the meat out? You know, take it out the freezer, take take the ground beef, take it out and let it thaw. So I would do that. And um, then that turned into can you brown the meat? Yeah, I'm I'm four or five years old. I know how to brown the meat, I know how to make myself a sandwich. You know, I'm doing I'm doing my homework what little I did have, because I was a kid, I was the kid that would do my homework in school uh or on the bus. You know, I ain't really talk to too many people. Um I'm watching Wishbone, I'm watching uh Zoom on PBS, I'm watching Ghost Rider. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm I'm I'm a kid on my own. And then that turned into um some more independence. And you know, I started to disobey a little bit. You know, moms was like, don't go, you can't go outside till I get home, till one of us get home. And you know, I started sneaking out, running with the fellas around, around a project. We lived in a house and project called Western Manor. We used to call it What's the Matter, because it was always something. We had shady as uh, we had shady um uh maintenance men. You know, they would be in there in our house eating our food, playing, playing the Nintendo, playing the Sega, like, you know, just on some real shady shit until I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't know about the statute of limitations, but let's just say the actions were corrected and niggas stopped doing that. Not only in our house, but in other other people's houses as as well. So so then there's that. So one day, one day I'm at school, and um I I don't know, I must have finished my work earlier or something. And we got to talking, I got comfortable with my my kindergarten teacher, Miss Barrett. And you know, she's she's talking about um just like uh I think it was the Lion King that came out around that time. So we're talking about the movie, and you know, because because they took us to see it as a kindergarten class, and I was like, man, I I kind of understand, you know, Simba. I you know, he's on his own, and you know, I I do a lot by myself, and I'm I'm talking too much, too much. Somehow she started prying, and that turned into, well, how old are you really? And and I must have told him my real age, because back in the day, you had to be uh you had to be a certain age before it's September, I believe. And you know, my birthday's in the summer, so I wasn't that age to start kindergarten. They found out they had to pull me out, and then that turned into me staying home um by myself. So I still kind of had the same regiment. Eventually, my mom started taking me to stay with my aunt, you know, and my and my uncles on the on my dad's side, but they were they were figuring it out, you know, they were kind of irresponsible themselves. So um off the off the rip, you know, with that happening, then my brother getting shipped down to Tennessee. I didn't really have uh too many friends. So I figured out a lot on my own. Like my first encounter with manners, like really being nice to people. It nobody really taught me that. It was uh I think it was like just instilled in me from God. Like I remember going outside to play, and uh there was a lady in our neighborhood, uh, Wallen, Ms. Wallen, she would always have her her buggy, um, not like a um not like a target shopping cart. It was like one with one handle and two wheels, and you could put your groceries in there. She was a little older, and she would catch the city bus to to go get her groceries. And um, you know, I I remember one day I she just looked tired. I don't know what like came over me, but God put it on my heart to go help this woman. And I she lived in the back of the complex, so I helped her, and it would be every Thursday because Tuesdays and Thursdays is when like the government checks would come in back then. So um, you know, I would help her, and then that turned into every Thursday. I knew what time she was gonna uh get off that bus and she would give me a food stamp, you know, uh $5 here, $10, $20, whatever. And I would go up to the 76 and and get my quarter chips and my giant pickle, you know what I'm saying, in a uh in a pop. Because what the fuck is soda? Me and my lady argue about that all the time. Because where I'm from, we call it pop. I don't know what a soda is, I don't know what a sofa is, a couch, I don't know what sneakers is tennis shoes. I'm from the Midwest, so let's get that understood. But so I'm journeying through all these things, like you know, and and this is something else that I unpacked in therapy. Like, I'm I'm a bit of a loner. I'm journeying through these things, and I'm realizing, like, man, I spent a lot of time alone. So by the time my sister is born, I'm already eight years old. We done moved from South Bend to Indianapolis, and I'm I'm still kind of on my own, but then I started to open up a little more sports, I started to play sports, and then I started to understand camaraderie and teamwork and and and sharing and things like that. Because I, you know, I would I would imagine up until then I was pretty much I ain't gonna say a selfish kid, but I ain't really like fuck with too many people. So, you know, I kind of been on my own um all my life, and even journeying through college, transferring to different schools, I always made it a point to kind of like

Friends Of Proximity In Your 20s

SPEAKER_00 16:45

uh identify what I was gonna identify with and and just kind of maneuver through people. I never really was trusting of people just because of like the childhood things um that I had been through. So it dawned on me that like when you in your 20s and in college and high school, like you, your friends are your proximity. So for me, I had a neglected group of friends because like I would like I remember when we first moved to Knapp. Um, I got I always like to tell people I got my athletic chops playing at Riverside Park. Anybody know Riverside Park back then? We talking like 97, 98, 99, um, right after Pike died in 96. It was tough. It was a very, very, very tough place to live. There was a lot of crime, a lot of murders. It was a really hot summer, really, really hot summer. One of my homeboys' father got tied up to a pole. Um, he got shot 20 times and they set him on fire. Um, and it and and one of my teammates, a little Stevie, they found him in an abandoned um uh building. I mean, we wasn't nothing but eight, nine years old. We on a little league team, you know what I'm saying? Um he was a little older, and I think he was he played up, he might have been like 10, you know, 11, maybe even 12, something like that. But you know what I'm saying? Like they, man, it was it was rough. Um, my other teammate, you know, his father got got killed on the highway coming from the skating ring. This is all happening uh, you know, around this time. So, you know, I got my athletic chops being tough. Um, not not really taking, like, I'm not I'm not a tough guy, but I'm not a pushover. I was the kind of kid that was very respectful, but would get teased about it because it was yes, sir, no, ma'am. And then, you know, when the teasing started, that's when like my hot head, you know, the temper would take off. And I would have to, you know, let niggas know. Like, this ain't this ain't that. Like, I'm my pops raised me to be a very layered individual, you know. Like, I could I literally I could pray for you, I could minister you, um, I could help you with your resume. And in the same breath, I could knock you the fuck out and not care. Like, that's just that's just how I was raised, you know. And even when it came to women, I wanted to be layered, you know. I wasn't the person to shy away from my emotions. I believed at mental health and believed in mental health and therapy at a at an early age, very early. Like nobody had to teach me that. I just knew something wasn't right with me, and and being isolated, um, it wasn't normal. You know, I was a person, uh, a bit of a heartthrob, you know, ladies' man, if if you will. I'm the one copying lyrics out of Mariah Carey's um Visions of Love album book and writing it as a note. Like I like like it's me, it's my words, but I'm still in the lyrics. This is back in the day where you had to um physically go to Circuit City or or Sam Goody and you could preview the CDs, and it would come with a booklet, and it would have like um basically, man, it was almost like a um it was a book, you know, like you had the you had the disc, but in the book you saw who produced what, writing credits, even had lyrics, like if you really had a budget behind you, they even had the lyrics in the book. So, you know, this this back in those days, and you know, just that's just kind of how I was raised to be um a man of many things and and growing up so like alone so much. Like I had to do a lot, you know. I took I done I done I took my first fights by myself. I remember I got jumped by myself. I'm first time being chased by a big ass German shepherd, hopping the fence. That's how I knew I was a hurdler. Like, you know, so a lot of that. So by the time I get to my 20s and in college and things, like, you know, I had my homies in high school, you know, we used to call ourselves tractorious because we was all on the track team, um, and we were all misfits. Uh, me, I was a 3-4 sport athlete, but I was very like um, I won't say militant, I was just very aware of my surroundings, and you weren't just gonna play with me. I knew like like once football, the the like the season was over, and I'm getting ready to go play basketball. I noticed like the football coaches wouldn't really, you know, talk to you. They wanted you to play football year round. Same thing with basketball. Um, and then the style of basketball that they were playing, I it didn't fit me. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm I'm athletic, I'm fast. I'm I start dunking in the seventh grade, like sixth, seventh grade. Like, I don't, I'm not about to pass this ball five times. I'm shooting this bitch or I'm dunking on somebody. Like, I'm it would it just it was never gonna work for me. So I stuck with track and the people that were on the track team, we also had to grow up quick because the upperclassmen, you know, this started our sophomore year, upperclassmen that were supposed to show us the ropes and give us the game, you know, a lot of them fell by the wayside, either by death, uh getting kicked out, or just quitting. Um, so we kind of had that in common. And so, so, you know, by the time I get to high school, I got my friend group, and you know, we go to college. We was cool. We were cool probably like my freshman and sophomore year. And then I noticed like when I would come back to college, now we're young adults. Now we're young adults, and I'm trying to move different. I want to go to the Iceland. Which is a club at the crib, you know. Um Red Eye Cafe used to be our spot. It was right across the street from the Ice Lounge on Meridian Street. If you're from the crib, you know what I'm talking about. And it kind of, you know, it kind of got old. Like, I don't I don't want to keep foot in the bill. Like, y'all niggas need to have some money too. So as I'm growing in my college years, I'm getting a little more responsibility. Um understanding like my trajectory as a man. And mind you, I'm still an all-American and a national champion and about to sign a pro deal. And I'm still coming home to you know with my homies, and we going to the club. And this back when button-ups was popular, and I'm, you know, I've got a guard on my S Doc Carter's and my button-up, and they showing up to the club with t-shirts from Spencer's with cookie mustard on it. I'm like, all right, something ain't matching, you know, something ain't matching. So I really kind of had to pivot. And it was it was almost like a survivor's remorse, because I dealt with that a lot. Like one of my best friends growing up, you know, he he struggled with diabetes, you know, really bad. And I sometimes would send him money for his insulin if he didn't have it. And that's probably one of the things that bothered me the most. It's that survivor's remorse, you know, knowing that I I had to adjust, and everybody can't go like where I was trying to go, man. Like, I don't know if that's just being shrewd or just, you know, it's all a part of like the growing process, but like I couldn't do that no more, man. I couldn't really, it wouldn't, it ain't necessarily turning your back on the hood or your homies or whatever. It's just a like, man, you just gotta, you kind of gotta find your own path in life. And I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to get out of my city. I didn't want to stay there. So when I graduated, you know, I went back and taught high school, and it was, it was, it was eye-opening to see like, yo, here we are, 2012, 2011-ish. We graduated high school, and and I graduated in 06. And a lot of my homies graduated in 2005, they were a year ahead of me. And by the time 2012 came around, my homies, one of my homies had four kids by four different women. Um, the same homie that was that was struggling with diabetes was still struggling with diabetes and paying for it. And the homie that was wearing cookie monster t-shirts was still wearing cookie monster, like it was just the same old, you know what I'm saying? Like it was just like a it was it was a tri, it was like a um a revolving door, it was like groundhog day. So that's when I made the conscious decision just to pack up with a little I had and um and the rest is history. So, you know, if you want to hear that story, go back to episode one, episode two. But I think proximity is where you are in your 20s and your teenage, late teenage years, those are your friends. Um, now I know like like my my sister-in-law, my future sister-in-law, has had she got a best friend, and they've been friends since middle school. That is to me in my life, that's rare. And I commend anybody that has been able to maintain a friend. I I envy that. I wish I had that. Unfortunately, I don't. And then, you know, I think um in your 30s, friendship and it requires intentionality. What are your intentions? Like when you say you want to hang out, like me, my first question is

Intentional Friends And Hard Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 25:26

who all gonna be there? You want to go somewhere, like who all gonna be there? And I think when I first moved out here, you know, I was here, I had to start over. So thank God I found my boy Pierre, and turns out we frat brothers, and we lived a block apart. And and he was a lot like me, you know, mother, mother passed, moved around a lot, kind of been on his own doing his thing. So I noticed the pattern, like I identify with people like that that are you know, that have been through some things. So yeah, I think proximity and purpose, proximity versus purpose is what happens in your 20s, and then you also have the bandwidth, like the the crisis of a bandwidth. Like, man, I got I got car insurance, I got rent, I got a car note, I got uh 401k coming out of my chat. I got shit, dude. Like, I don't really have the bandwidth to be dealing with your little penny and like I choose my friends wisely. Like, if you if you gonna if you're gonna if it's gonna cost me rather peace or financial to be your friend, I'm sorry. Call me shrewd, call me evil. I I can't be your friend, dude. Like, it's just it's gonna cost too much. Like, I don't I don't have the bandwidth to deal with you dealing with. And then another thing that I think we're connected by is like filtering major life crises or or major life events. Have you been married? Have you been divorced? Have you had a heartbreak, like a real serious heartbreak? Have you been down to your last dollar and tried to, you know, like Kendrick say, flip unemployment or something like that? Like, have you gone through some shit? Because if you haven't, 10 times out 11 times out of 10, we ain't gonna agree. We're not gonna identify on nothing. Because the little, the the first time you go through something little and you fretting over it, and I'm looking at you like nigga, that ain't like I done been through way worse. Like, way worse than that. I don't think, you know, I don't think we're gonna like work out. So, you know, like nothing audits your circle quite like stepping into a new chapter, deciding who actually gets an invite to who what where and where and why, you know, and are you a friend or you are you just an acquaintance? I don't have a lot of friends. A lot of niggas know me. I know a lot of niggas, but I wouldn't call them friends. I got maybe three, four tops. So yeah, man, I think I think that's that's just where it is right now. Making friends in your in your 30s is very hard, especially nowadays. I think we have a crisis right now of old YNs trying to be YNs. And I'm just I'm not with the sharing hookah sticks when you pushing 40 and wearing skinny jeans and painting your nails and disrespecting black women, disrespecting women, period. Like I'm not, I we just we not gonna identify and and that's fine. Just you do you and I do me. But don't like just stay away from me because I don't want to revol resort back to you know the the the temperament of things. And I think that pop culture, popular culture is really influencing a flock of men that are my age, you know, mid to late 30s, in the most negative fashion. Very, very negative. So I don't know, man. And I a lot of that, all of this is coming from just therapy and also seeing the freestyle that Jay-Z did yesterday. Um, you know what? Let's um let's get into that. Let me let me cue this up. Let me cue this up, and then we're gonna we're gonna regroup and we're gonna talk about it.

Jay-Z Freestyle And The Cost Of Elevation

SPEAKER_04 29:08

If she would have transitioned before I played my name, I would have hunted them. Every one of them playing these silly games. That won a hundred avalanche chaser with a waste one cave. But number one is a joke, public enemy number one up and break. The rocks that compliment, the level complimentally prank, the settlement something, too, much of a trick. I've got to be trying to put the cup of it. I'm pretty sure it's my fun of the kid. Too much of my name. Don't forget what I am. I say take W N. I find it a double when she put the S at the N. You don't know the show ain't even beginning. I say you don't know. The show ain't even beginning.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Yeah, ho talk that talk. You deserve it. Um now I'ma I'm gonna preface this. I don't really I don't know, Jay-Z. You know what I'm saying? I know he's one of my favorite rappers. It's on any given day. I I ain't even about to do no goat list. For me, it's it's kindred it's Pac, Dot, Hove, Nas. Not in that order every day, but those to me are the four. That's the Mount Rushmore. And the common theme is I I tend to gravitate towards people that um evoke emotion out of me and make me feel something. Um I remember hearing um uh Sown Cry and feeling something, or Heart of the City, um, or Reasonable Without, or feeling it, you know what I'm saying, and feeling something like um even the hidden tracks. He has a hidden track on the Life and Times of Sean Carter Volume 3, and one of the tracks is called Anything, and it's about you know him raising his nephews and and really just being a solid dude to his friends. So um I never never really bought into like um Jay being in this nefarious Illuminati BS. I think everybody has a guy complex, though. I don't really necessarily agree with that, um, you know, um calling himself Hove and things like that, but I commend his uh his hustle, and I think that this ties into what I'm saying with friendship. I think the burden that Jay is is feeling and has gone through people throwing just a lot of smut and erroneous things on his name is just like man, everybody, everybody can't go. This is a lesson, man. Learn it from Jay-Z. Like it's it's like literally the burden of the blue uh blueprint. You know, when he said another one fumbled his and wonder how I get the blame. Niggas' teeth is tumbling out their mouth, and somehow I'm the one who did it. Like, like Dame, like, okay. I understand you think Jay-Z backdoored you in the business deal, and he may have, but at the same time, I remember watching the DVDs and in the backstage and seeing how shrewd and rude you were. You can't go, you can't ascend to the heights that Jay-Z is trying to ascend to. He he can't take you, like you, it's like the nigga wearing a cookie monster shirt to the club. Like, bro, we we're never gonna what you're wearing is going to attract the wrong kind of woman. And I got a story about that. I'll tell another time, and it did. But it's like, yo, we're where where Ho uh Jay was trying to go, you know, he wasn't gonna get there with you and your business tactics and the rudeness of it, and you not wanting to, you know, change certain things. Um, and then you know, just the the Jaguar rights and the Nicki Minaj and and and the subtle shots by Aubrey, just like it's a lot of and Tory Lanez and his father, like, man, I mean, he started title and wanted to give black artists a share. He has bailed people out of jail quietly, you know. He did the Khalif Browder story. The Super Bowl been black since he started it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't, or took over, you know, over the music portion. Like, I just don't I don't know, man. Now I don't agree with him sitting at the table with Jared Cushner and the Trumps and stuff, but after listen hearing that maybe it was a business move. You know, the enemy of my enemy is my friends. Sometimes you gotta mingle with people and play the game that you don't want to play in order to win. I don't know if I could do that just because I'm I'm I don't I'm a hot head. I'm I don't really like compromising, but then again, I'm not a billionaire. And that's the problem when you're a billionaire. Nobody can become a billionaire in this country without sacrificing some kind of moral compass. You cannot have an intact moral compass and be a billionaire. That's just not the way God made it. So, you know, from that aspect, I get people's gripes, but all in all, I just never subscribe. Even the Tony Busby shit, that ain't Jay. Like, you talking about the girl drove from uh was it Rockville or somewhere, New York, to the a 13-year-old to the music awards and just stood there and and puffed and and Jay took like what nigga? A house in Manhattan? Ain't no houses there, like what man? I mean a high rise kind of those motherfuckers had a house. Some shit you just gotta laugh at, man. And I'm glad that he got it off his chest because a lot of people have been playing with his name, and um, I think a lot of it was unwarranted. Um, especially Nicki Minaj, like the stuff that she did, that's just not cool. That's not cool at all, man. So um, yeah, shout out to him. Uh, and I think the the guilt of outgrowing people is kind of what he was dealing with, kind of what I dealt with. Um, the resentment of elevation, you know. I mean, I'm not nowhere near Jay-Z and billionaire status, but I understand what it's like to get betrayed and get smut on, get smut thrown on your nail. I went through that with my divorce. Like, niggas that was in my wedding, groomsmen standing next to me, like, man, it's like it's a reason why I had a hit list. Some of you niggas was cooked, I ain't gonna lie, but yeah, man, I'm glad he got that off his chest. And it's it's great to hear. I mean, Jay-Z 56, and and just hearing how cognitively how cognitively clear he is, clear-minded, able to put together these words and do an hour and a half set with no backtracking, like he's in shape, and he's not like he's not lacking. I mean, the he's rapping about what he's living through and what he's going through. And to me, that's why I still have him on my Mount Rushmore. Um, and I I just I appreciate that because there's a lot of nonsense, you know. Why we got people out here trying to buy artifacts of deceased icons and break their records, like not even organically, you know, all of the shit is manufactured, you know. It's it's good to have the real back, you know what I'm saying? Because Kendrick can't do it by himself, Nas can't do it by himself. But I think collectively, if all the real ones do a lot, or I'm sorry, if all the real ones do a little, nobody has to do a lot. And and I think it's important to preserve this thing of ours called hip-hop. So shout out to Jay. Um man keep going. And you know, just uh just bringing it home to the heavy on the RB aspect and and the topic of friendship today. If you just look at the RB group dynamic, man, um Joe to see their siblings, Drew Hill, they grew up together, new edition. They we seen their story, they they grew up together, you know, and and really they're siblings.

R&B Groups, Loyalty, And Fractures

SPEAKER_00 39:26

Um but then at the same time, how many of those groups have been fractured by uh the inner fighting? You know, we seen how Bobby was kind of kicked out, but uh at the same time, uh Bobby may have been uh erratic in his behavior, but he clearly was trying to ascend to new heights, and that's what he did with his uh his his debut album. And to me, it's the greatest RB album ever. I got it above Keep Sweats. Uh uh Is it Make It Last Forever? But um yeah, I think I think that Bobby Brown album um is just man, it's um it's crazy, dog. Like it's you can you can just go through the track list, man. Like, man, like the um you know, not my bad, not even the debut album, because I think he came out one with one um before, I think he came on, I don't I don't want to say before, but the one like right after um coming off new edition, you know, where it had Rony and uh My Prerogative, like and man, it was it's incredible. So shout out to Bobby Brown. The older I get, the the more like other side of things that I see, because I mean he was just battling on his demons, but he also felt that he can ascend to new heights, and he did. He outsold him, like he did, and he was so good they took him back. Gotta think about that. So yeah, man, I don't know. Um question to the audience, man. Let me know in the comments. What uh what are you outgrowing? What do you have to give up? What have you given up? Have you had to sever ties with different kind of friendships and and things like that? Um have you ever known someone 15 plus years and just kind of outgrew them? You know, how how do you navigate that? Give me some game, you know what I'm saying? How do I make friends in my 30s? You know, I got a couple partners. Don't of them, don't none of them live here though, in in the city. They all, you know, and we get together once, once or twice a year, but we talk every day in a group chat. Um, and that's the way niggas check on each other nowadays. We send each other um inappropriate reels. Once if I get one, I know they're alive. That's just uh that's how we communicate, man. So uh yeah, yeah, that was uh that was friendship. And before I get out of here though, let me let me get into this gripe. Um I think one of the gripes that I have is is about the hyper hypersexual um hypersexualization of fitness.

Fitness Culture And Performative Sex Appeal

SPEAKER_00 42:12

So um let me cue this up, man. So as y'all know, I've been I've been on my fitness journey, man. I looked in the mirror one day, I was 297 pounds. I'm down 56 pounds and counting. Um, I'll be by my gold weight by my birthday in uh uh damn about eight weeks. So one thing that's bothering me and and my gripe is fitness models. You're not athletes. Please stop saying that. You ain't never did two a days, you ain't never had to wake up at 5 a.m. to pass a drug test from USA track and field or USA basketball or USA boxing or the NFL. You ain't no fucking athlete. Just because you look good and Lululemon and you got that way by taking a GLP1, you're not an athlete. You can't do a box jump to save your life. You couldn't jump over a feather. You're not an athlete. Put the camera down, get out of real nigga way in the gym, stop spilling protein powder on the bench press, work on your legs because if I punch you, you going to sleep night night, bye-bye, because you don't have a base. Big ass upper body, little ass legs, you built like SpongeBob. Please stop. You're not an athlete. You just a nigga that look good in Lululemon or a nigga that look good in in Nike uh tech suits. This has to stop, man. Stop hyper sexualize stop hypersexualizing fitness. Cause that's all y'all doing. You're not selling fitness, you selling sex. There's a reason why Ford Plus. Ain't even a thing no more. You don't even have to marinate the fish. The fish is already in front of you. It's on the explore page. It's on the OnlyFans. Subscribe for $9.99. You can see ass and titties all day. This is crazy. My gripe, my plead, my prayer, fitness models. Go somewhere else. Find another gym. Find you a 24-hour porn fitness gym where you can sell sex as fitness. Cause you little leg niggas and you top heavy women with BBLs and GLP ones on my last fucking nerve. So yeah, that was K-Way Gripes. I'm so done with these people. It's almost offensive to a real athlete, you know, one of the best that did it and ever got away with it. Like, don't you ain't no fucking athlete, man. Anyways, in the meantime and between time, man, I greatly appreciate y'all checking me out. Reminder Heavy on the RB is the podcast. Daybreak is the after party where I play the songs that inspire this episode. Please don't

Where To Listen And Final Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 45:12

get it twisted. I'm available everywhere, man. Um, YouTube, Apple, Spotify, iHeart, Audible, Series, XM Radio, Pandora. Um, the podcast is everywhere. But if you exclusively want to hear the music, the soundtrack to the podcast episodes, you gotta meet me on MixedCloud. Sometimes they're available on YouTube, but yeah, I just want to make that clear. So, yeah, until next time, have a blessed week. Please put value in yourself, put value in each other, and we can have a value society. Peace.