IRL (In Real Life)

If your day starts with the same arguments, the same clips, and the same “hot takes” from a different face, you’re not staying informed, you’re getting trained. I’m KW, and I had to check myself after watching how easy it is to live inside a loop where Twitter, YouTube, and comment sections feel more real than the street outside your door. 

We talk about screen time, device addiction, and the dopamine comfort that keeps people pressing play on the same recycled content. I break down why reaction culture can become a closed system where the original message gets lost, emotions get exaggerated, and the echo chamber does the thinking for you. The real question is simple: are you building something, or are you reacting to someone else’s life until your own gets smaller? 

Then we get into boundaries that actually work. I share why my mic is a one-way street, why I refuse digital debates with avatars, and how algorithms curate temptation, comparison, and conflict if you let them. This hits home for anyone trying to protect their mental health, their relationship, and their focus while still enjoying social media without becoming owned by it. 

I close with what “IRL” means to me, and why real survival changes your priorities fast. If you’ve been feeling drained, distracted, or pulled into online drama that doesn’t even serve you, take this as your sign to reset. Subscribe to Heavy On The RB, share this with a friend who’s stuck in the loop, and leave a review with the one boundary you’re setting this week.

Transcript

Cold Open And A Warning

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And the illustrious words of the Prophet Sugar Free. You had the same twenty-four hours in a day as Michael Jackson. And you chose to be nobody. Those of you that are getting it's on a Monday or Tuesday, Wednesday, whenever you listen to it, man. And hope everybody is blessed. We are back on another edition of the Heavy on the RB Cop podcast. I'm your host. I am your creator, your proprietor, the one that creates all things, rhythm and blues, giving you the keys and the facts of life. Your boy

Why Real Life Feels Distant

SPEAKER_00 2:15

KW. This is going to be a uh I don't know. I'm gonna just I I didn't I don't have any notes. I'm I'm full of raw feelings today because uh it's uh it's it's been an interesting week and weekend, you know. Anybody know me, you know, I kind of just sit back and I observe a lot of things, and I ain't really like what I seen this week far as in these YouTube streets, and um just you know finding out like a couple things, um mainly to do, you know, like IRL in real life, like what's going on with our government and these earthquakes. So like I'm I'm like thinking about real shit, and it seems like everybody keeps arguing about the same thing. So, man, yeah, this this is gonna be um just you know some thoughts in a way that I'm feeling. So, yeah, kick back, relax, enjoy this episode. Heavy on the RB podcast is available everywhere. No sponsors yet. Um, but you know, maybe in due time. But yeah, Spotify, iHeartRadio, uh, even Audible, Apple Music, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, of course. Um, again, and I appreciate everybody checking me out on YouTube. The following is definitely growing, and um, yeah, cruising with Kway. We did a singal on session. I did a late night um or kind of like a sun sundown drive. Go check that out one too. That's episode four. That's called The Smoothness. The one that dropped Saturday is called uh Cruising with K Way sing alongs, and we're playing some good music, but yeah, man, let's get to it. So, today, like I said, I want to talk about in real life because I think that's something that a lot of people aren't necessarily dealing with uh right now. We are all in this this uh Twitter spear, YouTube spear of not actual reality type shit. And I just want to say my piece, man. Um, I think there is a weird phenomenon going on with um a lot of people that wake up every day and watch the exact same content over and over again, although be it from different people, it's the same content. And I had to check myself before I wrecked myself in the words of the prophet Ice Cube because I was doing the same thing, and I was like, damn, like okay, let me cut this down. So, um, you know, I I've said this before, I got the bandwidth for like maybe three, four channels, and that's where I leave it at. Uh, so you know, those of you that encourage me to look at other people's channels or like, hey, subscribe, nigga. No, I don't want to. Like, I don't for

The Same Content On Repeat

SPEAKER_00 5:00

what? It's the same content, man. It's it's kind of like when uh when I was in the dating in the dating streets here in Southern California, and I would go to these to the clubs or the bars, and I would see the same people ordering the same drinks, the same food. How many times you gonna play play swag surf, nigga? Can you mix it up? Like, you know what I'm saying? It's the same. So I don't need to go to you know eight different channels to get the same content. Like, I'm I'm here watching your content because you are covering the same thing that everybody else is covering. And the reality is the statistical reality is this the average person now spends about six hours and 45 minutes staring at screens every day. I work from home, um, so that doesn't count. Um, those of you that are work from home, you know, we're talking about um um like just scrolling and shit like that. That accounts for roughly 42 percent of your working hours. So, like for me, um, that is a no-go. And it's like what I said in the beginning, what sugar free said you you got the same 24 hours in the day as Michael Jackson, and you decided to be nobody, and I don't want to fall into that trap. I think also there's a generational divide. Gen Z averages about nine hours of screen time daily. So for me, as a man in my upper 30s, and my birthday is coming up in about a week and a half. So, man, y'all go ahead and uh send your boy some well wishes, some prayers, even hit the cash app. It's money sign kway for real, kw A Y, the number four, R E A L. Anyways, I digress. Um, I think that's that's highly unnatural. Um, so for Gen Z to spend that much time, that's crazy. And I think that also, you know, we'll get into the skills gap and and all of that, but um, it's it that's unnatural. That's that's that's like 69 of Gen Z openly admitting to being addicted to your to their devices, which is a fucking problem. And if you don't think so, punch yourself in the face with a rant, a wrench. Like that is absolutely nuts. 69. My god, you know, so I I wrote some of these notes. Uh, I did research and cross-referenced a lot of a lot of things, and so you know, don't take my word for it, just look it up. So, you know, along with the generational divide and just like statistical uh reality, I think the comfort of the loop is what holds a lot of people back. People refer to being they prefer to be like predictable. Um, they want to empty the dopamine, they want to, you know, a hit of it. As soon as you wake up, you gotta hear the same voice. So you want to run to the drama, you want to run to the shade room to check the shade. Nigga ain't even lit your blinds up, but you want to check the shade. Man, take a take a take a piss and wash your hands and pray. In the words of save by the bell or or something like that. Um, but you know, I do think people they they thrive off that dopamine, and there's a comfort loop here going on. And I just for me, I just think it's absurd. Um and you know, no shade to anybody. I just think that like wow, this is crazy. And and I'm I'm probably the most uh harsh critic on myself, and also I have a lot of uncomfortable conversations with myself because um I think 99% of the things that I've gotten to in my life have been because of my own doing. Now, that one percent, there have been some things that are out of my control. Um, my mom passing away, and I didn't have you know a hand in that. Uh that that's fate. And you know, me and my fiance we're talking about this. We're watching this show called Friends and Neighbors, and it's about a group of friends, it's on Apple TV, it's pretty good. Is it's about a neighborhood, and they're somewhat a group of friends, but like they're they are extreme examples of like one thing can cause a domino effect. Um, not to give too much away, but basically, a wife cheated on her husband with her best friend, and then that turned into him becoming a kleptomaniac, and then the wife and the daughter falling out. There's been uh a framing of a murder that the side piece tried to frame the husband with. Uh, there's a lot of just like nefarious things, like it's and it's it it it and it all goes back to had she not stepped out on her marriage and slept with his best friend, they wouldn't even be in this situation. So for me, I look at it as um just holding myself accountable, and I'm not telling nobody what to do or how to feel, I'm just telling you what works for me and just getting a few things off my chest because I think that it like the the reaction the reactor um community is kind of like becoming absurd to me. The absurdity of reactors to react to another reactor's reaction. Um, say that three times fast. It's like a closed loop that takes people further away from reality because what you have done now is gotten three, it's like a third generation remove type thing. You've gotten three different perspectives um from three different people that said the same thing, but because you know they may enunciate a word differently or something like that, you may hold on to that a little bit longer, and it's like, damn, are we reactors or are we creators? Because I got into this space to create, and that's what I do, you know, cruising with Kway. I I got a camera, I got a dash camera, I put that on the dash. I take y'all through the city of San Diego, California, and I'm gonna be expanding that to LA and even some parts of Orange County and Phoenix, you know, on these road trips and things like that. Um, and and I'm I'm trying to create, you know, a nostalgic playlist. Um, I'm creating content

Screen Time And The Dopamine Loop

SPEAKER_00 10:40

with this podcast, I'm giving you my perspective, heavy on the RB, the rhythms and the blues of life. I put time into getting these um uh thumbnails created and and writing notes and things. So I'm creating, I'm not reacting to shit. And I think that's the difference. Are you a reactor or you're a creator? Uh, because I just think we gotta contrast that. We gotta contrast that shit. It's it's like a never empty, never-ending empty cycle of reaction videos. And are you actually gonna create something or you just gonna react? Like, like for me, my daily life don't consist of this shit, man. I'm pitching enterprise solutions to uh Fortune 100 companies, I'm handling multi-billion, multi-million dollar books of businesses. Um, I'm a self-taught DJ. I'm I'm learning how to beat match and creating uh real life effort, you know, for you guys and grit and grind. I'm I'm in the process of coming out of retirement because next year I will be on the USA track and field master circuit, trying to take a title from somebody. Uh I'm I'm engaged, you know, like um I impact my community from a grassroots effort, whether that's being the head track and field coach at San Diego High School or mentoring ship through the local chambers of commerce. There's just endless uh creating with me, and I'm always trying to press forward, but I'm I'm taking it back because it dawned on me like damn, we we call ourselves creators, but all we're doing while they're doing is reacting. So just something for you to think about. And I also think there's an echo chamber effect. I think that the absurdity of the reactors reacting to another reaction, the original art is completely lost. The very first video that you it's you've it's like the game of telephone. If you ever played that at elementary school, you can say something like it's raining outside, and by the time the last person get it, it's uh the rain came inside and gave us herpes or some shit like that. Like it's uh it's absolutely nuts. So I just think by the time the third reaction happened, it just becomes a closed feedback loop of exaggerated emotions and manufactured clips. It's not genuine anymore, it's not real. Um, and I'm not taking shots at nobody, I'm just calling it to question. Like, are you are you really a YouTube content creator, or are you just a reactor of other people's shit? And I just think there's I don't know, man. It's it's kind of disheartening because since I've joined this community, I've seen arguments, I've seen, I've seen people turn out to be something that they're not, and I I'm not a person that is um, you know, besides the channels that I mess with, I'm not a person that's gonna be in everybody's comments, and even I'm taking a step back from that, like because it just it's starting to no longer serve me, and it's starting to annoy me more than anything. Um, you can you can really lose yourself out here, and I kind of look at this like a dating, like dating scenes. Um, it's linear almost because like I know of stories that have almost derailed um uh relationships, uh, marriages, uh friendships because of online banter, and you know, the Drake and Kendra thing has divided households. Uh, whether you voted for Trump or not has divided households. And I mean, that's an extreme example because I I don't know how you can be married to a Trump supporter, but to be mad over you know two different tastes of music and to let that divide y'all is crazy. And um I just think that between the internet and reality, like we've become completely blurred, and it's easy to confuse online community with genuine intimacy, and I think truth be told, we don't know none of these motherfuckers, and I think it's starting to show an illusion of access. Like there I know of stories of like a homeboy of mine, and I'm not gonna say his name or whatever, but like, bro, like you out here in these YouTube, it was out here in these YouTube streets, um, and uh inappropriate relationship derived from it, you know what I'm saying? And nearly just lost everything. And you know, we share these digital spaces, but I think it can create, like I said, a false sense of intimacy, and it could trick people into believing they truly know somebody just because they engage with you and they watch you every day or they comment, you still don't know this person. And I think there is a reality crash. There is a moment when the bubble burst, and

Are You A Creator Or Reactor

SPEAKER_00 15:30

for me, I think it bursted a long time ago, but I had to like you know, I'm saying, just kind of um teeter my way around and navigate these the YouTube sphere to see what I really wanted to do. Did I really want to be a reactor or a creator? Or I won't do I even want to be a part of that community, and I think when the online persona persona clashes with real-world consequences, it's then people realize they have invested deep emotions into a complete stranger and the shit has gone too far. I'm telling you what I know, not what I think. I know of stories, I've heard stories, I've seen it firsthand. Don't let this fucking YouTube shit ruin what you got, don't let it ruin your life, man. This shit is not real. Like, like people choose therapy over clout, you know what I'm saying? Like, if you really going through something at home, like be careful what you share, like for real, man. Like, because people are crazy out here. Um, that's why I'm not interested in being a content um or or a reactor or even a content creator. I just want to be a nigga that posts my shit and disappear. And if you if you gravitate towards it, if you navigate to it, cool. If you support it, cool. I appreciate it. But if you don't, no harm loss, no, no harm, like no, no love loss, no harm, no foul. Don't it don't bother me. Like, this is just like another avenue of therapy for me. I choose the therapy over the cloud, whether it's five followers or five million. Um, because like most people in that be in the comments and stuff, we got careers. You think your employer don't know what you're doing? Best believe somebody's checking that shit, man. So why argue with a motherfucker that ain't even got a picture of themselves on their avatar? Like, like I said, man, I'm not I'm really not interested in being a standard YouTube content creator. I'm into I'm interested in creating content that pushes the culture and my people forward, but my livelihood don't depend on algorithms or subscriber counts because I I have a demand on real like the real world, like I have career experience, you know what I'm saying? I have a real career that I've invested in, that I've gone back to school for. This is a hobby, this is just an outlet for me to get things off my chest and let you know what I went through in another form of therapy, and I pray that it impacts you, but I'm not trying to go viral, I'm really not interested in that. Numbers don't matter to me because I was the man before I started this shit. To be truth be told, like if I perfect if I want to toot my own horn, like I have a lot going on, I've accomplished a lot. I was that nigga before, and I'm gonna be that nigga after. Like, oh, that's just where I'm coming from with it. Well, like I said, whether it's five followers or five million, I've accomplished a lot, like a lot, and I like you people may not know this because I'm not letting you into that sector of my life, at least not yet. But but I get behind this microphone and I'm I'm speaking real life things and real life experiences because like the microphone for me is a hobby, it's out, like I said, it's an outlet, it's a form of therapy. I prefer the quality over the quantity. I don't like I I really don't I don't have a desire, and I've told this to many people. I don't have a desire to be some person that blows up and and and gets endless amounts of super chats and things like that. I just want it's like I have the same perspective of when I taught. When I taught high school um and elementary school, I always wanted to connect with my students on a personal level first before trying to get on them about their grades or their behavior. Because if I can connect with you personally, then you'll just grow a little more respect for me, and then we can we can accomplish the other things. And for me, that's what it is. Like I want to reach two to three people and they change their perspective to back two to three black men that change their perspective on therapy, they change their perspective on black women and culture and life. If I could do that, I'm cool, man. And we all got you know our freedom of speech. We can say what we want to say, and I say what I want to say because I'm not chasing monetization or sponsorships. Like everybody has the absolute freedom to say what you mean without worrying about going back and forth or losing a check until you sign to one of these corporations and then shit changes. So if that's what you want to do, if that's your niche and that's your desire, cool, do that. But I just feel like I had to address that for you know, um, comments that I've received and people that have said things, um, you know, this is where I'm at with it. Like, I'm not interested in in like the salacious content or uh going back and forth with with people online.

Echo Chambers And False Intimacy

SPEAKER_00 20:44

I'm uh I get on here, I post my shit, I get off. And I think we all need to set a ultimate boundary. You gotta establish a rule, never go back and forth with people. You don't know these niggas. Preserve your energy. Going back and forth with avatars is draining, it'll kill your mental energy. Like, you gotta reserve your time and energy for the real world interactions because there's some real shit going on out here, you know what I'm saying? Like, for me, I limit what I scroll, and especially as a black man, like you have to limit what you're looking at. Because if you're on the explore page, the algorithms are already curated. Whether you know this or not, it's a dirty trick, it's a dirty freaking trick by AI algorithms. You could be in a happy marriage. I'm happily engaged, but if you scroll too long, especially at 5 a.m. So when I get up and I go to the gym, I've noticed that anytime I had opened up a um social media app or something, it is nothing but fitness models, so called fitness models. Because all they're doing is taking GLP ones or getting surgery and putting on Lululemon and calling themselves athletes. You're not a fucking athlete, you just a nigga that had good in health insurance, you lost weight, and now you think you look good in uh spandex because it squeezes your roles together. But That's neither here nor there. Um, so yeah, man, like I'm saying all that to say, like, all this shit is curated to show you what um, you know, what you don't need to see. And as a man, if you are in like if you're in a committed relationship, just keep limit your scroll time because you can get an illusion of like, damn, like this is what I want. That ain't what you want. You got what everything you need in your life right now. You got a woman, you got kids. That's that's the way God designed your life. And and like Cole said, man, um, you know, love yours because it it'll it'll definitely create an illusion of some shit that is not achievable, and these motherfuckers weird. You ain't missing nothing. Then I think you gotta have a no debate rule. My my rule is my microphone is a one-way street for my thoughts. It's not an invitation for a digital debate with motherfuckers I don't know and hide behind screen names. If you say something positive, I'm saying something positive to you. If you say something negative, I don't acknowledge you or I'll block you. And that's just what it is. Over here on the Heavy On RB podcast with KWA. I run this shit like uh North Korean government. Like, I don't care what you say, I don't care about your opinion. This is me. I pay for this, I bought this equipment. Go listen to something else. And I feel like more people should think like that instead of having these crazy debates that consume all of your energy, like it makes no sense to me. We go outside somewhere, man. You gotta set reality straight. We don't know these people, you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta IRL, live your life in real life. When the last time you went outside and had genuine uh uh interactions with a stranger, like walking through the do you shop for your groceries or you go or you order them and just pick them up? Do you speak to people on your walk or your hike? When is the last time you spoke to somebody? Y'all both walking down the hallway and y'all give each other a head nod and say, How you doing? And y'all spark up a conversation. Like, how are you really doing? You know what I'm saying? And you can even do that in your real life. You could you could do that like in a I call it a friendship test. I challenge all of y'all to apply a real life test because we don't know these niggas. If you wouldn't invite someone to your house or grab a drink with them in real life, why let them in your comments to affect your blood pressure? Avatars aren't people, like it's just a profile that is heavily curated to slice shit up. Like, you gotta treat an avatar like a real life adversary. It is a complete waste of time. That's the that's just the way I think about it, man. I don't, like I said, I'm not compromising on that, I'm not going back and forth. That's just, you know, that's just kind of where I'm at with it, man. And I wanted to hop on here real quick and talk about that, but you know, you

Boundaries With Comments And Algorithms

SPEAKER_00 24:55

already know what time it is. I definitely got a gripe. I definitely got a gripe, and I want to get this last piece um, you know, off my chest. So I'm gonna go ahead and cue the music. Deep breath. To close out the the podcast today, man. I definitely want to talk about just my gripes. So my gripe this week is simple. We are losing our grip on reality. Look, man, like

My Gripe We Are Losing Reality

SPEAKER_00 25:28

I'm I'm just a man, I'm a man who knows a little about a lot of things, but the one thing I know for absolute certain is real life. When I say IRL, I'm not just talking about putting your phone down at dinner, I'm talking about the grit. I'm talking about survival. I have lived real life. I've forgotten more than some of you niggas will ever learn. I've been your age before, you've never been mine. I've been homeless, I've had to eat out of garbage cans, I've slept in university classrooms just to keep a roof over my head. I've slept under the I-10 bridge when I like when I didn't have nobody to turn to. And

Real Survival Changes The Stakes

SPEAKER_00 26:06

it goes much more deeper than that for me. I've survived putting a 380 to my head, pulling the trigger, and that gun falls apart. And it was at that moment I knew God had me here for a reason. So to think that I will go back and forth with a motherfucker that didn't even got a profile picture is crazy. I'm still breathing because I know God has me here for a reason. I've survived devastating, unexpected things. A divorce on top of my mother dying. Mama or auntie overdosed in the alley, both grandparents gone within six months. I didn't have any friends, didn't have a single soul when I started over. And let me tell you, man, you truly don't know how heavy you are until you have to pick yourself up. I lost it all and fought like hell to gain it back again, and God has given me everything, plus then some. I've looked death in the face more than once. You know, not just the the failed suicide attempt, ulcers, passing out, found me in a grocery store, rushed me to the hospital, told me they needed it to operate emergency, had 12 blood print transfusions, got out the hospital 158 pounds, soaking wet. I looked like you was donating a dime to me every day, you know, in East Africa somewhere. No shade to them. I've survived the deep isolation you can only dream of. No kid at three years old should be thawing meat out. You know what I'm saying? Like these are the things that I face, like dark moments. So when I say IRL, this is what I'm talking about. When you've survived the absolute bottom, when you live through real loss, real isolation, and real life or death moments, you realize just how fucking ridiculous it is to let a comment section dictate your space. You realize how crazy it is to let a screen replace your real name or human connections. We have people out here prioritizing avatars over actual breathing human beings. So my gripe this week is this log the fuck off. Step away from the echo chamber, go outside, look some real person in the eye, and remember what it means to have actuality in real life. Stop letting the internet be your entire world. My people, that is today's episode. It was short, but I just wanted to come on here and give y'all some of my thoughts, my feelings, my free game. Whether you listen to it or not, I appreciate you either way. And you know what I say? Every week, I

Final Charge Put Value First

SPEAKER_00 28:42

mean this. Please put value in yourself, put value in each other, and we'll have a value society. Peace.