MidTree Church
The sermon audio of MidTree Church in Harris County, Ga. BEHOLD // BELIEVE // BECOME
MidTree Church
Passion's Potent Promise | Pastor Will Hawk | May 25, 2025
Passion isn't something to hide from or be embarrassed about—it's woven into the very fabric of our design by a God who celebrates intimacy. But what if everything our culture tells us about desire, sex, and fulfillment is backward?
When the young woman in Song of Solomon compares herself to a magnificent procession, wondering if she'll captivate her beloved's attention, she reveals a universal anxiety: Am I enough? Her beloved responds with a literary love letter, repeatedly affirming not just her general beauty but specific qualities that belong uniquely to her. The emphasis on "your" eyes, "your" lips, "your" beauty reveals something profound about God's design—true passion isn't found in endless options but in focused devotion.
Our cultural narrative insists that monogamy is the funeral procession of passion, that commitment chokes chemistry. Yet research consistently confirms what Scripture has always taught: those who wait for marriage and remain faithful report higher satisfaction emotionally, relationally, and sexually than those who don't. God isn't holding out on us—He's channeling our desire like a river between commitment's shores, making it deeper and more powerful.
Many Christians grew up with an incomplete model: withhold now to receive later. But Christ modeled something different—withhold temporarily, then give sacrificially, and finally receive abundantly. This pattern transforms marriages when both partners find their greatest joy in bringing pleasure to the other. The result isn't just better relationships, but a testimony that makes the watching world wonder what we've discovered.
Whether you need grace for past failures, renewed passion in your marriage, or simply a theology that embraces celebration, God's Word offers a better way. Join us as we explore how God's design for intimacy isn't prudish but potent—and how it points us to the One who poured out His love completely for us.
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Hey guys, it's Pastor Will here. Just wanted to tell you how much we appreciate you checking out our resources like this podcast Did. Wanna give you a heads up in the event that you have little ears around as you listen in. Today we are gonna be talking about a portion of God's word that might come across as a little scandalous to some, and so we will be talking about intimacy and a lot of the things that go along with that. So wanted to give you a little bit of a heads up just in case you had little ears around while you are listening. With that, enjoy our time in God's Word together. All right, so what Shane is going to read is what you see on the screen behind you, but one thing that would be maybe good we good, okay, that would be. We can do another meet and greet, if okay, we're right.
Speaker 1:What I want you to notice is the very first few words in verse six, and the reason why is we've been following this love story and then, all of a sudden, there's this big switch what is that? Coming up from the wilderness, and then she begins describing a parade with King Solomon in it. Now why all of a sudden is this happening Before Shane read it. I wanted you to know this. When it says what is that? In the original Hebrew, that would have been in the female form. So if you're reading this for the first time and you're a Hebrew, you're expecting that what's going to come next Is something female, something feminine, and all of a sudden there's a parade with a king and soldiers and smoke and perfume and beauty. Why is it that this woman all of a sudden begins looking here? We'll talk about that in just a moment, but I wanted you to know. She is probably imagining what she thinks to be something that is absolutely stunning and breathtaking and beautiful, and this is what she imagines when she thinks of that. Shane, if you would.
Speaker 2:Hello. We're reading 3, 6 through 11. It's on page 561 in the Pew Bibles. What is that coming up from the wilderness? Like columns of smoke, perfume with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant. Behold is a litter of Solomon. Around it are 60 mighty men, some of the mighty men of Israel, all of them wearing swords, an expert in war, each with a sword at his thigh, against terror. By night, king Solomon made himself a carriage from the wood of Lebanon. He made his post of silver, his back of gold, his seats of purple. His interior was inlaid with love by the daughters of Jerusalem. Go out, daughters of Zion, and look upon King Solomon with the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, on the day of the gladness of his heart. This is the word of the Lord.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Shane. Shane, I love that we got you to read the dreams of a young lady.
Speaker 2:There's this lady that you got in the front office that organized it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, I know you mean your wife. As we get in, I'm going to ask you to hold this picture in your mind. Okay, I want you to kind of keep this in mind, and what I want you to note is where it ends On the day of his wedding, on the day of the gladness of his heart. What if and, by the way, theologians disagree on this this could be her remembering something that actually happened from when she was younger, from when she was a child, and she's remembering the most stunning, breathtaking thing that she saw. There's also a chance that she is imagining the day of her wedding. She's imagining the doors opening and, ladies, you've been here, you're married. The doors open and you begin to walk down the aisle and everybody stands. Everybody doesn't stand when the guy walks down, they stand when the girl walks down, you get the same music that we all consider to be the wedding music. What if she is thinking this is something that's beautiful, this is something that's stunning, this is something that arrests attention. Will I to him? Will I be something that arrests his attention? Now, I want you to take that and I'm just gonna place it right here. Hold it in your mind for a few minutes. Why? Because I need to tell you how we got here so you can appreciate it Before you walk out of those doors. Or if you're a kid, these doors and you run to play gaga ball before you leave this room.
Speaker 1:I feel like if we're going to do justice to this text, we have to recognize that God wants every believer to have a theology of celebration. I'll be honest with you I'm lamenting the fact that I didn't think through summer vacation because of all of the sermons that I would want all of mid tree to hear out of this book, this one is the pinnacle. This is the one where I would say I want us to be great at this. Now. To get here, we have to remember where we were last week. Where we were last week is we had this young woman with a longing that she didn't know if it was going to be filled, and we talked about the fact that the human heart is filled with longings that are not going anywhere. And even if they get filled, they get filled, but for a moment, and then we long for something more, we long for something else, we long for something different. But keep this in mind Longings in and of themselves are not sinful. Longings existed in Genesis 1 and 2. Longings exist even in the heart of Christ and therefore when you long for something, it isn't necessarily sin. But when you're longing for something good and you turn to anything other than God, you will fill that longing with some kind of idolatry. You will fill that longing with something and, don't get me wrong, the world will give you lots of opportunities to try to fill it with something else. But if we can withhold filling our desire for those things until God's timing and God's place, maybe with God's person, then we will find actual joy. So what is happening here is her longings are about to be met and she has a couple of questions in her mind. She looks at this and she begins to question herself. But, christians, before we begin to question ourselves, here is what I think our celebration should look like, as the doors are opening to the celebration of her biggest day. When God fulfills a longing, it doesn't matter if it's the big one that you have today or one of a hundred small ones that you have today. When God fills a longing, christians should celebrate, we should be great at this, and there are three ways in God's word that we see Christians celebrate. Keep the parade right here. What does it mean for Christians to celebrate?
Speaker 1:I grabbed this verse out of Psalm 126 because it is a vague song. We have no clue what they're actually referring to when it says the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion. In all likelihood, the author of this song was writing a song so that God's people could sing it anytime. God restored something good to his people. So I want you to notice this. First and foremost, they give God credit. The Lord restored. So when God gives us one longing, the very first thing we should do thank you God. Thank you for what you've done. I'll give you an example in my life, I don't know what your ideal ending to a day is.
Speaker 1:I love eating popcorn at night, right before I go to sleep. So if I imagine a world where tonight, karen Ann and I hop in bed, we throw on Netflix, we pick a show that we only have one episode left on to finish the whole series, because I have ADD and a lot of times we get like halfway, then I dip out and she finishes it later If we actually finish the show tonight, which would be a blessing to her and what falls out of my mouth is this this would be so great with popcorn. And then my wife says oh well, if that's the case, she hops up, she goes downstairs, she grabs a bag of popcorn, throws it in the microwave, sits down there for three minutes and then, in the Hawk house, we over butter and we over salt our popcorn. I don't know about you, none of us are going to make it to 75. None of us are going to, just because of our popcorn intake alone. And then she brings up that popcorn I had. This is the only food I have this rule about.
Speaker 1:I try not to eat popcorn by the handful because I feel like it is too good of a food to eat that quickly. I try to go one at a time and I fail every single time at doing it. And halfway through I remember and I'm like I'm already at the bottom of the bowl and I am upset the moment that over-buttered, over-salted piece of popcorn hits my mouth. That is worth thanking God for Every little longing. It's also good to do that when you're 10 years old and you get on the team or in the class that you really wanted to be in. It's the same when you're in your late teens or early 20s and maybe you end up in a relationship with someone.
Speaker 1:It is good to begin by thanking God, and on and on it goes. There ought to be a hundred things a day where we can say God has done, god has restored, god has brought, god has filled the longings of my heart. But we don't stop there. We share these things. Notice, we became like those who dream. Our mouth was filled with laughter, our tongue with shouts of joy, because we were glad. They begin telling other people, and the Bible says they don't just tell other people, they tell unbelieving people. They said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them. The Lord has done great things for us.
Speaker 1:And in the event that you would say, well, when God does something good, I don't want to over-celebrate because he may not have done it in someone else's life I would tell you this there's a very easy way to be able to celebrate what God has done for you, even if he hasn't done it for someone that is in your circle that you care well about, and it is this Celebrate when God meets the longings of others, even when it's in your loss column. Celebrate when your neighbor gets the job that you wish your career had advanced, to Celebrate when that person gets in a relationship and you remain single. Celebrate when someone gets pregnant while you are struggling with infertility. Celebrate the goodness of God, even if it isn't in your win column yet, because if you do, you will have no problem sharing the good things God has done in your life with others. Because they will say this that person has always celebrated the good that God has done in me, even though I know it's hard for them, even though I know it is crushing at times. They have celebrated with me what God has done for me, even if he has not done it for them, and finally savor it when God does something good.
Speaker 1:Can I tell you what a lot of Christians do? That to me is so disheartening. They wonder if it's just a test. They wonder if God's giving them a good thing to see, if he's going to take it away, if they will remain like tucked in and loving God. It may be the case.
Speaker 1:Can I give you just one reality here? Almost every good thing you find in this world will eventually go away. In this world, I mean, even if the greatest thing is your spouse and you remain married to them for all of your life. One of you is going to miss the other. Every good thing God gives us in this world has an expiration date on it. That doesn't mean we shouldn't celebrate it. It's the difference in taking a flower and putting it in the kitchen so that everybody can see it. And yes, I know it will eventually wilt and yes, I know it won't eventually smell as good as it did. But it's a whole lot better than cutting it and saying you're so beautiful, I'm putting you in the freezer as good as it did. But it's a whole lot better than cutting it and saying you're so beautiful, I'm putting you in the freezer, where nobody can see you, where nobody can appreciate you, but maybe you'll last just a day or two longer. Christians, when God does something good in your life, don't be afraid to celebrate it. Now, what does this have to do with that? Here's what it has to do.
Speaker 1:God has done in this young lady's life, in the first two and a half chapters, unbelievable things. He has given her a guy that all of her girlfriends are, if they're honest about it, and they haven't had their quiet time and they didn't show up to church that week just a little bit jealous about. We read about this guy and he is an absolute stud. Their chemistry is high, the sparks are flying in every direction, but he isn't just a looker, even though she'll tell you he's a looker, he is filled with character as well. He's the kind of guy that you want to build a life with, that you want to raise a family with. He has all of this and the whole community knows it, and they're like girl, I don't know how you landed this, I don't know how you pulled this off, but add a girl, high five, run after this kind of a guy and his buddies are telling him the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:Now, why would I talk about celebration and longing side by side and longing side by side? When you see the verse that comes after this, it will make sense. I think she is worried. She's not enough for him. I think she's worried that when she thinks about the doors opening, how is he going to receive her? And there are a few telltale signs about that. She's actively been given this romance, this love, this passion to celebrate, but what she has found is that I want to be like that. I want to be like this thing that I imagine, rather than celebrating the thing that steals our celebration has come in.
Speaker 1:She has started to compare, and when she compares, here is what she thinks. What's that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke? She thinks about something that is good in smell, something that is fragrant the powders of a merchant, something that comes up like columns of smoke and is noticeable when the doors open. Is he going to see me? Is it going to arrest his attention? Now, look, this was a day and age when they didn't have air conditioning. This was a day and age when there wasn't antiperspirant deodorant. Okay, they're just like throwing stuff on all the time. It's essential oils to the ninth degree, if they can afford to have them, because you can't hide stuff.
Speaker 1:My wife and I get legitimately frustrated at our children boy, boy, boy, girl. All of them now basically teenagers, except for the youngest. Our house smells horrible if those three boys don't make one 15-second decision at the beginning of the day. And this young lady is saying when he comes near me, I don't want anything to push him back. Not only that, is our love going to last? Is it strong enough? Behold, it's the litter of Solomon.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what's arresting. I'll tell you what's beautiful? This is an enduring love. There are 60 mighty men, mighty men of Israel, with swords. They're experts in war. Their sword is near them so that they can deal with the terror by night. Will our love be? Will we get to the end of our lives and look at one another and have made it Not just through the mountains and the good times, but through the valleys as well?
Speaker 1:And then she goes to the thing that I think all females eventually go to Am I beautiful enough for him? Will my beauty last long enough for him? Now these words may not stand out to you as beautiful, but the wood of Lebanon, that's what it was known for. Posts of silver, its seat of purple, its interior was inlaid with love by the daughters of Jerusalem. She imagines all of these things. Then she looks at her best friends and she says that's really what you want to go and look at. Go, look at that.
Speaker 1:And this man sees the love of his life doubting her loveliness, to which he literally writes a literary love letter. I had to practice that, starting on Thursday Literally writes a literary love letter. I had to practice that, starting on Thursday Literally writes a literary love letter. What do I mean. Well, this is what comes next in the text, chapter four. In fact, all of chapter four is his, except for hers at the end. And if you're reading in your Bibles, I don't care for you to look ahead. He gets her, he convinces her. Compare, there is no comparison when it comes to you. He listens to the love of his life. Doubt her beauty. And this is her, his response. By the way, this is going to be your first squirm warning. Uh, you're going to have about three. Here is potentially number one.
Speaker 1:Thank y'all for letting me preach the whole text of God. Nobody's ever complained about it. I don't know that they ever would. But whatever, here you go. How do you convince your young lady that she's beautiful? You say stuff like this Behold, you are beautiful, my love. Behold, you are altogether beautiful, my love. Behold, you are altogether beautiful. Drop down to verse seven. You are altogether beautiful, my love. Okay, 10 points to the camp store, if you can tell me what this is called, because I have taught it to you six times in the past six months and I'm sure of it, because I can go back on my notes and check. All right, 10 points to the camp store, if you can tell me what we call it in the Bible.
Speaker 1:When God's word says something here, then there's some context. Then it says it again. Right there, it's okay to get the answer wrong. Does anybody know what we call this? Okay, we call it bracketing. I'm going to write this down so that you guys know we call this bracketing or an inclusio, if you want to sound really fancy and like you went to a private school. Okay, you say inclusio.
Speaker 1:What's basically happening here is this man is writing a literary love letter and in the beginning it says behold, you are beautiful, my love. That's the cover of his book. Then he says you are all together, beautiful, my love. Now we have the back cover of the book. Do you want to know what the chapters of this book called? Behold, you are all together lovely are. Here are the chapters.
Speaker 1:And he can't stop thinking about her. Your eyes are like doves. They are gentle behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats in curls, leaping down the shoulders of Gilead. Your teeth this is one of my favorites. I have two favorites. Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes. That means little lambs that have just been clipped and they don't have dirt on them anymore. They've come up from the washing, all of which bear twins, and not one of them has lost its young.
Speaker 1:Do you want to know one of the things that was unique about this girl Back in BC? Whatever, she had all her teeth and he loved it about her, probably because it was quite rare. The fact that they're white is even more rare. I'm guessing she's pretty young, if I'm quite honest. And then he looks and he says but it isn't just that, your lips are like a scarlet thread and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate which would have had this like deep, pink, aromatic flesh. When he looks at her cheeks, his mouth waters. Maybe she blushes, maybe she puts blush on. But he looks at her and he says when I see your cheeks like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil, my heart is moved.
Speaker 1:Your neck is like the tower of David. This one's questionable, the only time you see the tower of David referred to in scripture. It's right here. Drink it in. You will only see this here.
Speaker 1:What he's probably saying is girl, I love your eyes and I love your teeth, I love your cheeks, I love your lips, I love it all. Can I tell you what else I love about you? There is a strength to you. There is something about you are gentle, but you're not weak, you're not flimsy. No, your neck is built in rows of stone. On it hang a thousand shields, and not just any shields, the shields of a warrior. You have this dignity and this strength about you. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle that graze among the lilies. And I will just tell you this is a personal favorite of mine. He isn't done talking about her chest, yet he gives that two verses, as he continues on and says until the day breathes and the shadows flee, in other words, all night long, I will go away to the mountain of myrrh and the hill of frankincense. You are all together beautiful, my love. All right, you made it through the first squirm. Congratulations. This guy.
Speaker 1:And, by the way, god's word has no trouble talking about what we would potentially have trouble talking about, unless some of you are honest. A couple of your text threads that you have going 24-7. Honest, a couple of your text threads that you have going 24-7. And can I just tell you what this shows me about God's Word? It shows me that our mentality that there are things that are churchy and there are things that are not, needs to die. That in the South, where we have certain sensibilities, things that we talk about and things that we don't. That when Christ died and the temple, the curtain in the temple was torn and the Holy of Holies was opened up to the world, we ought to expect God's word to speak to every single portion of your life. And when we say, this is my work life and this is my home life and this is my parenting life, this is my Christian life I'll step it up a little bit for my small group life, whatever it is, when we have all these little sections of life, god's word is telling you you're fracturing yourself in a way you were never meant to.
Speaker 1:Allow the gospel to invade your Tuesday. Allow God's word to talk about what this man loves, about this young lady. Talk about what this man loves about this young lady. Allow it to be real that guys are not crazy for thinking this way, because we were built to think this way. And then he finishes it by saying you got nothing to compare with. Come with me A comparison, my beloved. There is no comparison. And if you wanted to compare. He would continue. You've captivated my heart, my sister and my bride. You have captivated my heart with a glance of your eyes. How beautiful is your love, my sister and my bride. How much better is your love than wine? Your lips drip. I wonder if you're noticing something. Might I point it out to you? She has captivated you, your, your, your love, your love, your oils, your lips. In fact, if you were paying close attention here, he does talk about her eyes, but he puts this in front of every single thing he says.
Speaker 1:And this brings me to what I think is the most important theological point of this. Yes, passion is something that God has written into us, but do you know what God's putting on display? Not just that the passions inside of us were placed there and we ought to be able to talk about it on a Sunday morning. God's way of monogamy, he says yeah, I love all this stuff about you, but it's because it's you. It's because it's your eyes and your lips, your chest, your cheeks, your neck.
Speaker 1:Do you really think this guy, who is so sharp, thinks she has the best hair on the planet? I'll go ahead and tell you she didn't. The best eyes on the planet? Nope, not going to happen. The best cheeks on the planet? I'll go ahead and tell you she didn't. The best eyes on the planet? Nope, not going to happen. The best cheeks on the planet Not going to happen. But do you know what makes them great? They're hers and she is his, and therefore it is something that he adores. This is a place where this man doesn't just invite her to compare, we ought to offer to ourselves. Comparing what the world has actually found Is God's way of one person for one lifetime, with very few exceptions, actually better. I believe it is. I'd like to show you that it is. But we must start here.
Speaker 1:The more a culture and, by the way, everybody lives in some culture, the more a culture believes that God is holding out on them. Pause, that was the first lie. The first lie in the garden was Satan saying did God really say, do you really think it's for your best? When I look at the garden, to me it seems like freedom. They are literally naked and unashamed. I can't come up with a better way to define freedom than people running around without a fig leaf on. Okay, but when I imagine this and all of a sudden the enemy comes in and he says does God really have your best in mind? Do you know how freeing it would be for me to have one rule not to break? I don't know about y'all, but it seems like a pretty good setup One thing not to do. But they buy into the very first lie, which all of us are prone to do as well. The more a culture believes that God is holding out on them, the more you are going to miss out on, and I'd like to prove it to you in two particular ways, as we talk about passion and sexual expression and intimacy in the text today, and the first is our culture's view of cohabitation versus marriage. I've got all of my research on this and I know like eight of you are interested in that, but it was filling up the page to source everything, so if you're curious, just come and find me afterward.
Speaker 1:Over half of Americans, and especially young adults, believe living together before marriage improves the chances of a successful marriage. The younger you are, the more prone you are to believe this. We need to take this thing for a test drive, right? I'm not going to spend $50,000 on a car, which apparently is like the median cost of a car now. I'm not going to do that if I can't take it for a test drive. I'm certainly not going to trust my entire future with somebody without taking it for a test drive, and that is what most Americans, especially young ones, believe. However, most cohabitation doesn't lead to marriage and when it does, the divorce rate is higher. A recent study found 54% of first-time cohabiting couples break up within six years and that barely a third of cohabiting relationships even result in marriage. It doesn't turn into a test drive that ends well. Additionally, couples who live together outside of marriage report lower levels of commitment, more conflict and less overall happiness compared to married couples. Now, if this is more convincing to you than what I just read out of Song of Solomon 4, you have a bigger issue on your hands. This is right, and everything in God's Word will eventually be proven right if you just give it time. I'm giving you this because I can example for you that God knows what he's talking about when it comes to this.
Speaker 1:The second piece of our culture that I would like to discuss is premarital sex and its impact. I know y'all can't really check out the chart. I'll make it bigger in just a minute. A growing body of research shows that having multiple sexual partners before marriage is linked to higher divorce rates and lower marital quality. In fact, the number of premarital sexual partners is one of the strongest predictors of divorce that social science has identified. Now, as I put this up, let me also hit pause. As I'm talking about cohabitation and as I'm talking about premarital sex, I need you to know that. I know that there are a number of you in the room that this is not a fun conversation for that. Your mind is going back to imaginings of things that fill you with shame and guilt and brokenness. Don't walk out and don't check out. Everything in God's word covers everything we need in our heart. But allow me to just tell you the truth at this point. Here's what we see statistically. I'm sorry, I couldn't find anything later than the 2000. I just want you to notice the jump from zero to one or two, and, by the way, I forgot to say this.
Speaker 1:In the first service, researchers found that it didn't matter if the sexual partner was a committed relationship or a one-time fling. It made no difference whatsoever. Just the existence of it increased it by 20% to 30%. You raise your hand for increasing the likelihood of a divorce by a quarter to a third just in this one reality. A 2023 study by the Wheatley Institute surveyed thousands of married individuals and found that those who had only ever had sex upon marriage to their spouse which is a clunky way of saying they only had sex with their spouse they waited until they were married to have sex with their spouse they reported the highest marital quality and what the culture would call sexually inexperienced people, who did not go to try to find sexual compatibility before a commitment. They actually had higher relationship satisfaction, higher sexual satisfaction, actually had higher relationship satisfaction, higher sexual satisfaction and stronger emotional closeness than their peers who had previous partners. Finally, those who wait on sex in marriage are twice as likely to say they're very satisfied with their marriage and three times as likely to not even consider divorce compared to those who had multiple sexual partners.
Speaker 1:Listen, this isn't easier. I mean you can hear how quiet it is in here. Yeah, do we allow God's word to speak into every piece of us? For those of us who have trusted in Christ and this is a part of our past, be reminded that we are forgiven of everything. As far as the East is from the West, so far does he cast our sins from us. When he sees us, he doesn't see these things anymore. But these are the things that cause us to realize how much we need a savior. So hold, if that is you, for now just accept this reality.
Speaker 1:Monogamy one person for one lifetime is not passion made prudish, the Bible makes that clear. It is passion made potent. And when he looks at his young lady in the middle of this song, here's what he says A garden locked is my sister and my bride. A spring locked. A fountain sealed three times for emphasis, he says girl, I could talk about your lips, I could talk about your eyes, I could talk about everything about you. But in the center of this is a reality You've saved them for me.
Speaker 1:Why would you compare yourself to somebody else? Why would you compare yourself to all of these other forms of beauty to somebody else? Why would you compare yourself to all of these other forms of beauty? You are mine and I am yours, and you have saved yourself and held yourself and sealed yourself. For me. It is the greatest gift that I could be given. Why would I compare you to anything or to anyone? Now listen carefully. Our culture shouts from every rooftop and swipes on every screen that monogamy is the funeral procession of passion, that if you decide to do this God's way, if you walk down the aisle, passion walks out on you. That commitment chokes out chemistry, but the word of God and science, less important tells a radically different story. God is not choking out passion by doing it his way. He is channeling it.
Speaker 1:All right, let me try to get you guys back from a deep place for a minute here. How many of you guys have ever gone whitewater rafting? Hands up. Let me just say okay, I know who the cool people are. It's for something later. I'm kidding If you've never gone white water rafting, it's like being in a slow motion ocean, just a lot faster. There you go. Now you're there.
Speaker 1:When you are on a raft and you are going down the river, it almost always starts the same way you get on the river where the river is wide. Very rarely do you see any river guide go to the tightest point of the river, throw the boat in and say hey guys, why don't we see what happens here? Try to load up and there's equipment and children and people getting caught in hydraulics. It's a hot mess. That's not what you do. What you do is you go to where the river is wide. Why? Because where the river is wide, you just kind of hum along the way that God has built.
Speaker 1:Your passion, your intimacy, your sexual desire is a river, a bubbling, flowing, passionate thing, and you can do one of two things with it. You can take it and, like the world says, you can send it down a hundred different streams. Does anybody remember in like fifth grade social studies, what you call it? When a river goes and it spreads out into all these different things, it starts with a D. It's also an airline tour. Don't let me down Delta. Okay, you can go the Delta Road. But I can tell you what happens that river spreads so wide and so thin it begins to trickle, the power begins to diminish. Sure, you can go and see is there something here? Is there something here? Is there something here? Or you can do what every whitewater rafting guide knows Get on the river here and just hold for a minute. If you'll wait until the banks squeeze in, until this boulder of commitment to God and a boulder of commitment to your spouse squeeze in, all of a sudden, all of that energy, all of that flow, all of that passion gets hyper-focused into one spot and it is deeper and it is more powerful, and it is an adventure and a ride worth taking. This is what God points to when he calls us to monogamy. It is not prudish, it is potent love.
Speaker 1:Now let me say something to those of you who grew up in the church. If you grew up in the church when I throw up stuff like this and you made it to a marriage before you had sex, let me tell you what started happening in your heart. You leaned back a little bit, you felt a little bit good about yourself and, if the world allowed it, you might've even patted yourself on the. I did it. I did it. What my youth pastor told me to do, I did. Okay, I know this because I grew up in the church. I grew up in the purity culture, and what the purity culture said was sex bad. No, do not do it. Rather than saying sex is something that God has given us that is wonderful and beautiful, in the right time in the right place. So hold for a moment that you would be able to enjoy it with all that is in you.
Speaker 1:If you grew up in that purity culture, can I tell you, as somebody who has done so much marriage counseling, so much pre-marriage counseling, so much divorce counseling, so much of this. Can I just tell you that it can be just as dangerous to start right and finish wrong as it can to start wrong and finish right. In fact, I would argue with you that it would have been better to start wrong and finish right. In fact, I would argue with you that it would have been better to start wrong and finish right than the other way around. What do I mean by this? What I mean is, if you started out on purity, you may see intimacy in your marriage as far less than God intends for you to.
Speaker 1:There is nothing more pure than a passionate pursuit of your spouse. There is nothing more pure than you continuing to sing the chorus of Song of Solomon 4, where it says you, you, you, you. All my energy, all my passion, all of my endeavors, all of it is for you. But for many of us who grew up in the church, we were told what not to do. We were never told what right to do. So now this is your next score morning. Let me tell you how to have really good intimacy in your marriage, and when I say intimacy, I don't just mean emotional intimacy. How can you have the highest level of pleasure in your marriage that God intends for you to have? This is the way the world sees it. Find any way you can receive it, like a million different deltas, one quick timeout.
Speaker 1:If you haven't been walking with us through this book thus far, you may be wondering why Solomon is even writing this. The dude had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Might, we argue. He went the Delta model. Might we More Delta model than maybe anyone ever else. What right does this guy have to write this book? So if you missed week one, let me remind you of this. Many theologians believe that Solomon did write this, but that he didn't write it as an autobiography, more as a reflection later in life of the love he wished he had not let go of. That is probably what is happening. And he lived this life in the world. Receive, receive, receive.
Speaker 1:But many of us in the church, many of us grew up knowing that's not the model. This is the model I withhold for a time so that I can receive at God's time. But can I tell you, and I talk, look, I talked to a 20 something year old who was a newlywed at the end of last service, who I know grew up in the church, because I saw him grow up in the church and I said what model did you grow up with? And he said model two, this model. This is wholly insufficient In his marriage. He was navigating off of model two and I said do you realize that you have been missing out? And he was like, yeah, as soon as you started talking about it I was like, oh my gosh, I've been missing out. This is not the Christian model. The Christian model is not withhold and then receive intimacy, passion and pleasure and, by the way, you can sub that for anything in the human experience. This is the Christian model. This is the model that Christ puts on display. And if I can make you cringe just a little bit more, let me do it.
Speaker 1:When you try to receive first, you follow the world's model and the delta model and you lose that passion. It just starts to fizzle out. If you go to what many of us grew up in the church, you hold and then you say, hey, I got the ring, now it's time. Time for me to receive, which is one of the most selfish things you can possibly say after getting married in the church under a covenant to glorify God in your marriage. That's not what it's supposed to be. The church under a covenant to glorify God in your marriage. That's not what it's supposed to be. I withheld for a time so that I can supply passion, intimacy.
Speaker 1:The greatest way for you to receive what you desire in sexual gratification in your marriage is not to try to receive it but to try to give it. And when a husband finds his greatest joy in bringing joy to his wife and when a wife finds her greatest joy in bringing joy to her husband, do you know what happens to both and to an onlooking family and to an onlooking world? You receive it. And believe me when I tell you the onlooking world wants this. And I don't typically say this on a Sunday morning, but I don't typically get to walk through a text like this.
Speaker 1:So thank y'all for awkwardly dealing with a pastor who doesn't feel awkward about things. Maybe he ought to. Christians ought to have the best sex lives on the planet. Do you know why? Because we enter into marriage knowing we're broken, clinging to the one who makes us whole, and it isn't our spouse, it's our savior. And when I can be next to my wife with no shame, because it's been forgiven. No guilt, a riddled past, yes, but know that my God sees me the way he sees his own son. Do you know what that turns into in a marriage? Freedom. Freedom not to compare and freedom not to worry, freedom to be intimate in every part of ourselves. And this, by the way, is exactly what we see in Christ.
Speaker 1:Philippians 2 calls this the example of humility. Notice how broad If there is any encouragement, any comfort, any participation, any affection. Complete my joy by being Same mind, same love. You're going to have to teach this to your head if you're going to enjoy it with your heart and with your body. You must teach this to your head if you're going to enjoy it with your heart and with your body. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. I would put this on the mirror of the bathroom of every married couple. I could, but, in humility, count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others, and this mind is yours, in Christ Jesus and in Christ alone. Do you want to know how to have the love life that God desires for you to have?
Speaker 1:Watch who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but he emptied himself, taking the form of a servant. This is Christ withholding. This is him leaving heaven, leaving perfection, to come put his feet in our sin-saturated world, him taking less for a period of time, and do you know what happens next? Receiving no. He then supplies. And, being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross, and he supplies. He supplies what is needed for all of those he loves most dearly. And then do you want to guess what happens next? He receives, which I would write, except I always get the I's and the E's wrong on receive, so I apologize. Therefore, god has highly exalted him. This is what Christ received because he supplied. This is what Christ received because he withheld, and in that order he's highly exalted and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that, in the name of Jesus, every knee should bow in.
Speaker 1:Why are they confessing Christ as Lord To the glory of God, the Father? When you live your life this way, husbands and wives, when you organize your life this way, singles, withhold, supply, receive. When you do this. The onlooking world actually sees something bigger and better than just a great marriage. Though your kids want to see that, though you want to have it, they look at it and a world that is absolutely enamored with sexual gratification says what do they have that we don't? We've tried everything and they keep finding one thing everything we're missing in everything. How are they pulling this off? Do you think this isn't evangelistic?
Speaker 1:Here's what I want you to imagine. Sun's out right now. It had been raining before. Just so you know, guys, if you need to cut your grass, you need to do it this afternoon. It's Sabbath, you can deal with that on your own, all right. Why? Because it's going to rain for the next four days.
Speaker 1:And I imagine a woman coming into the sanctuary Stokesy, you're good, you can come on up. I imagine a woman coming into the sanctuary and going to church with a husband who's unbelieving at home. He walks outside five minutes ago and he starts cutting the grass because it's finally lightened up and he's humming along for the next 30 or 45 minutes while you're here, talking with folks drinking a cup of coffee, hopefully learning how to celebrate well, and then she pulls into the driveway and he, out of kindness, lets go of the bar and the mower hums to a hush and he says, hey, how was church today? And the wife says, oh, it was good, it was fine. What did the guy talk about? Oh, he was saying that I would find most sexual gratification if I gave it to you, and that Christians should have the best sex lives on the planet.
Speaker 1:You want to guess who's coming to church next week? This is what I mean when I say all of God's word is to all of the people all of the time. Now I left a couple of you guys hanging for a period, and I know that. I know that some of you deal with shame and brokenness, but remember, I want to end where we started, with celebration. How do we come to celebration, regardless of where we sit today? Well, first I want you to know that they do. I came to my garden, my sister, my bride, I gathered my, my spice it's all this and the community around them is like eat, drink, be drunk with love, enjoy, celebrate. Isn't this a good thing that God has done? But maybe you have failed in this and you need grace today. I'm really glad you're here. Do you know?
Speaker 1:Whenever God shows us his way. He's doing two things. He's telling you the way to do life so that you would most enjoy it, but he's also showing you that many times we don't do life the way God wants us to, and when we don't, he uses that too and he says hey, you have failed here, you have fallen short here. I have good news for you as well. My grace is sufficient that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us. Please don't miss this From all unrighteousness.
Speaker 1:Some of you in this room have a long story of statistics All unrighteousness cleansed. Why? Because God focused all of his love into one place. He didn't send it in a thousand different strings. He sent it in his son, who died on a cross with his arms wide, inviting any who have failed to simply say God, would you forgive me? I bought into the first lie and thought I could do it better on my own. I never knew. I didn't grow up with this.
Speaker 1:Whatever the story is, maybe you have failed in this and you need grace today. I'm really glad you're here. It's available. It's as simple as one prayer away, conversation with the pastor or somebody sitting around you, but maybe you're in this room and you have brought that first lie God's holding out on me into your marriage. Maybe you thought the sun had set on passion or pursuit. You have settled for a cruise control version of passion. Please don't and not just because of an onlooking world and not just because I want you to have a wonderful marriage, because I want God to receive glory from it. Maybe there needs to be a conversation, some repentance, maybe some counseling. Whatever it is, don't give up on this thing, it's worth it.
Speaker 1:And finally, maybe we need to simply develop a theology of celebration, that something's worth celebrating, even if it doesn't last forever, that we can thank God for it, we can share it with the people around us and not be afraid to celebrate a good season because we will go through them. So, wherever you are and however God's word lands on your heart, let's respond appropriately. If you want to walk out in the back and just have a conversation with the Lord or listen to people sing, do it. If you want to kneel, if you want to stay seated, do it. If you want to come down to the front, we'll go on the front porch to talk, pray, celebrate, whatever it is, but let's walk out of this place as a people who understand an intense passion poured out for us in Christ and a people who are able to celebrate. Let's do that together.