When you heal yourself, you heal your family

What if your greatest pain became your pathway to purpose? Meet Sabrina Duarte, a single mother of two from Tucson who discovered healing lies not in escaping generational wounds, but in confronting them with divine grace.

Fifteen years after losing her father to pancreatic cancer, Sabrina reveals how watching her strong, muscular dad deteriorate in just months transformed her entire outlook. "It really showed me how life is precious and how we sometimes take it for granted," she shares with raw vulnerability. This profound loss sparked an unexpected mission—using social media to remind others about life's fragility and the importance of cherishing every moment with loved ones.

But Sabrina's story goes far deeper than inspirational posts. Growing up with a strained maternal relationship left her feeling perpetually unworthy, creating patterns of self-sabotage that followed her into adulthood. Through powerful prayer and what she describes as divine visions, Sabrina uncovered the generational curse binding her family—her mother couldn't give what she never received herself. This revelation led to a transformative conversation with her mother, bringing healing to wounds decades old.

During the pandemic, financial struggles and depression tested Sabrina's newfound faith. As child support ended right after purchasing a home, she found herself sobbing at her university job desk, wondering how she'd support her children alone. Yet through consistent prayer journaling and surrendering to God's guidance, everything began to shift. "Once I truly leaned on Him, everything changed," she reflects, now passionate about helping others identify and heal from their own generational patterns.

Sabrina challenges traditional perceptions of faith, emphasizing accessibility over perfection: "There's no such thing as a perfect Christian. When you go to church, it's a church full of sinners—that's what we all are." Her story reminds us that healing never happens in isolation; when we heal ourselves, we create ripples that transform our families for generations to come.

Ready to discover your own divine purpose through life's challenges? Subscribe now and join our community of parents breaking generational cycles through tough conversations that create stronger connections.

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Transcript

Returning with Energy

Speaker 1 0:24

we're back and we still got the energy man we still got it .

Speaker 2 0:27

We got it . We're still flowing , it's still flowing and you change your shirt .

Speaker 1 0:30

This time let's go . Why are you telling my business man no , but this is actually good yo , everybody that's watching on the youtube . Man , ma got a new shirt on today like not like this , new , new , like I haven't seen . These ones usually have some in the . You know , they've been aware , but it says well , I was born , been worn . You know I'm saying so .

Speaker 2 0:48

I got something , I got something , you know but um I keep my fresh . What brand is that one ? Uh , I don't even know , man , but they got different colors , so I like it . So there you go , we gonna roll with it . Roll , I like . I ain't promote nobody for free , oh , let them know no free promo .

Speaker 1 1:03

If you want that promo , you gotta go ahead and sponsor the up to it parenting podcast . That's what you got to do . Um yo , before we get into today's uh guest , we got another guest .

Speaker 2 1:12

Yes , we got another guest .

Speaker 1 1:13

We do , we're making it happen , man . I want to change it up here , pop , I think that I should say this earlier um yo , for those that are watching , for those that are listening , you can always send us a text message at 904-867-4466 . Uh , you can text us any thoughts , comments or concerns or advice that you may need . Uh , we're always just one phone call , not even a phone call , one text message away , and you'll see little numbers that pop up in the body of the text . Keep them there . If you don't keep it there , we ain't going to get your message . And we're not ignoring you , we just don't see it coming in on our side . So , if you want some advice , if you have something that you want to talk about , if you had a guest that was your favorite and you want to give them some accolades , shoot us a text Again . That's 904-867-4466 . If you're looking for some presenters for your next keynote workshop or your event , you can always visit up at up to it , at up to itclub . That's up to it .

Speaker 1 2:07

Dot C O U B . Dad hit the dance . You know what I'm saying . We're a club , cause the party going . You know what I'm saying ? We keep it going . So that is all the housekeeping items I have for you today .

Speaker 2 2:19

Pop you want to introduce our next guest that we got coming on . Yeah , man , we got , we got another guest . I love it . I love it , I love you . We're rolling in with the guests , uh , towards the middle of a 2025 and so , yeah , we've been learning a lot from a lot of different people , and people been sharing their different stories , um , and why they do some of the work that they do in the space in which we talk about and um , this individual is a friend of mine . We go back many , many , many , many , many , many , many years , um prior to uh zion being born and uh , it's my home girl , um , and so she was sharing with me that she wanted to maybe share some things , try some new things and talk about some things . I was like you know what mental health and family and parenting that's what me and zee do . So welcome to the stage , sabrina you guys are too cute .

Speaker 3 3:11

I can't take it . I'm like the third wheel today that's awesome .

Speaker 2 3:20

That's awesome , hey . So

Meet Sabrina: Single Mom on a Mission

Speaker 2 3:22

tell people name where you're from and just a little bit about yourself .

Speaker 3 3:27

My name is Sabrina Duarte and I'm from Tucson , Arizona . I am a single parent of two kids . Let's see . My daughter will be 16 in October and my son will be 19 in September . My son is going to the U of A in August and my daughter will be a sophomore at Tucson High bear down what's a badger , always a badger .

Speaker 1 3:48

All the good things that's .

Speaker 2 3:52

Giovanni . He graduated from Tucson High right .

Speaker 1 3:54

This is May oh , that's what that's called Zion's a badger we don't have no hand signals . I don't know what a badger does . I know Wildcats , though Mine's a badger .

Speaker 3 4:05

We don't have no hand signals . I don't know what a badger does . You don't have the emojis that do a little Right .

Speaker 1 4:08

I know Wildcats though . Wildcats for life . You know what I mean . That's an easy one , yeah .

Speaker 2 4:12

Right . So , Sabrina , what are you doing right now in life ? What you got going ?

Speaker 3 4:18

Oh , my goodness gracious . So I am on a mission to help heal people and basically I've just I'm getting spiritually close to God and doing everything that I can to praise him and his name and walk in his word and introduce people to him , so that I think that people get the idea of Jesus Christ being holy . And you can't do certain things and you're restricted . And I just kind of want to get it out there that there's no certain way to be Christian or Catholic or whatever religion it is , as long as you have a relationship with God .

Speaker 2 4:59

Oh , that's deep , that's deep , that's deep . So what's interesting ? So Sabrina and I and I , through the 20 something years we've known each other , um , we used to hang out pre-kids a lot and hang out with different people and stuff like that , but then , as you know , family came involved . She and I would always try to make a point to make sure to get together at least once a year . It was always her birthday and then , or at least close to her birthday , seeming to get longer and longer past her birthday . But we always stay connected that way and through the years she's always shared some of her challenges , ups and downs , and then you know things that she's just been extremely excited about . Definitely , her kids were always the highlight in the beginning . But I'm wondering , sabrina , when you say you have a connection with God now , or a stronger relationship , and you realize what brought you to that point .

Speaker 3 5:48

Oh , my goodness gracious , I've had so many just ups and downs in my life and trials and tribulations and challenges . I lost my dad 15 years ago to pancreatic cancer and that was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my life because he was always the biggest buffest guy I ever knew . He was 5'11" , 215 pounds and he was solid muscle . So to watch him really just lose 80 pounds in a month was a lot . It was really hard to watch and I think that watching him pass away so quick I mean they literally told him that he only had a month to live when they finally diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer because he was in his final stages . So it's not like he had very much time and he fought it and he survived for three months versus the one month that they said . But it was still hard to just watch him go from so much strength to like literally being barely being able to walk it was hard .

Speaker 3 6:44

So once I lost him , I felt like I needed to share the word to people . So I would use my social media my Facebook , my Instagram , whatever you know and just post pictures and just tell everyone , like life is too short , um , spend time with your loved ones , um , time is of the essence and you , our life is , and I don't think we truly get it until something like that happens a lot of the time . And I just felt this need to kind of share my story with people so that not only you know it'll help them through their situation , hopefully , but so that they don't feel alone , because I felt kind of alone . You know it's like you don't really talk to people about

Loss, Grief, and Finding Purpose

Speaker 3 7:23

how you truly feel when you're grieving . You're going through something like that .

Speaker 3 7:26

I became an automatic caregiver without a certification . You know it's like you kind of just do and you know I didn't know what to do or how to do it , and I was . I'm physically strong , but mentally it ate me up inside , so it was hard to see my dad like that , you know it was like one of the hardest things I ever had to face .

Speaker 3 7:44

He went from literally like benching 500 pounds to like he couldn't even hold a spoon by himself . It was bad . So I mean it just . It really showed me how life is precious and how we just sometimes we take it for granted , even just waking up in the morning , you know , and I just felt like I had to share that with people . And then , before you know it , I'd get messages from people and they're like oh my God , thank you for sharing your story . I called my dad , I gave him a hug and that , for me , is fulfilling . So then I realized after that that it was just kind of my .

Speaker 3 8:15

I just realized that it was kind of my calling , and I feel like I've always had that kind of intuition because messages would pour in from people I didn't even really know , because I like to network and , you know , add people that I don't know , as long as they're mutual friends or whatever . But I felt like I was getting a lot of messages from people who were like going through divorce or lost their kids or , you know , like I had this one guy that came , he messaged me and said you have no idea how much . You've inspired me through your posts . I was going through a divorce and my ex-wife took my kids out of state . I couldn't find them . I was by myself , like he was , like my life was hell , like I , and year post kept me going . That , for me , was fulfilling . I'm like , if I can touch at least one life , that for me is fulfilling my purpose .

Speaker 2 8:57

Oh man , that's cool , that's cool so actually . So you kind of dove into some things that I don't think people may know , into some things that I don't think people may know .

Speaker 3 9:09

You have a pretty strong following in social media and you and I were talking about this a couple of weeks ago , A little bit wacky . I'm not going to lie , but yes .

Speaker 2 9:17

And the thing that's crazy , though , is like you don't do a lot , meaning you know , show yourself per se or things that you're doing , but you have a lot of positive messaging , so how do you even get involved in like going in so hard at social media ? Because , I mean , you're not a gen z or a gen y or so definitely not like .

Speaker 3 9:39

I'm like . Ask my kids like can you help ?

Speaker 2 9:42

me no .

Speaker 3 9:44

I just I'm not even sure , to be honest . I just I feel like every day that I pray , I ask him to show me and reveal to me what I need to do to get the word out , cause he's helped me through so many things that that's the least that I can do . Like I feel like it's kind of like an assignment and I feel like if I'm touching someone , then I'm doing what I'm supposed to do here . Like I feel like it's kind of like an assignment and I feel like if I'm touching someone , then I'm doing what I'm supposed to do here . Like I'm listening to him , I'm obeying him , I'm doing what he needs for me to do .

Speaker 3 10:12

And , like I said , I get a bunch of messages from people that say that I helped them to heal or they got over . You know , like one guy one time message was like thank you so much for your , your gym post . He's like I was going to lay around all day and you motivated me to get up and go to the gym . I'm like that's pretty cool , you know . It's like I'm just doing my life , you know , and it's like we all go through things .

Speaker 3 10:32

But I think my goal is to help share the not so pretty things , because there's what I'd like to say is there's Facebook life and there's real life and I'm really bad because I love filters and I was telling jamal this the other day . I'm like I love , love , love filters . Like I can't you on video because I'm I can't do anything about how I really do . You know , it's like who doesn't want to be flawless , but um , but I want to show people that it's okay to be who you are and to look how you look and just accept that because we're so like it's become so normalized to have a perfect look with the big butts and the big lips and the pouty and the fake eyelashes and all of that , you know , and it's like that's not reality for everyone and for those that can't afford it , like it kind of sucks for them . You know , it's like there's people , there's still people , whether they can afford to look like a Barbie or not , you know , or to look like a Barbie or not , you know .

Speaker 3 11:28

So my purpose is to just kind of make everybody feel comfortable and just let everyone know that we're all people , regardless of how much money we have or what our titles are , credentials are , schooling or certificates , or where we live or how we live Like , everybody is a person , regardless of our status .

Speaker 3 11:41

So I kind of just like to post like what I do , where I go and like I'm a person too , I like to have lunch with . I kind of just like to post like what I do , where I go and like I'm a person too , I like to have lunch with my friends . I like to go to the gym . I you know it's like I'm a single mom of two kids , but I make time for the gym like you have to . It's taking care of yourself , it's being healthy , it's you know that's so good .

Speaker 1 11:57

I like , I like that , I like what you were saying , saying with , uh , just being a single mom . I mean it comes with a lot of demands . Yeah right , it's not easy and I think , for single moms out there that are listening to this podcast , would love to hear a little bit more about your story and how you keep going and how you keep showing up as your full , authentic self , even when days don't feel like it . So can you tell us a little bit more about how you keep that mentality going ?

Speaker 3 12:29

You know , I feel like I don't know how deep I'm supposed to get about this , but I , uh , bring it , bring it .

Speaker 3 12:33

You're like , just bring it all , I'll just spill the beans like , all right , all right , um , you know , I didn't always have the closest relationship with my mom , so I'm gonna get kind of . I going to get a lot deep . I didn't have the closest relationship with my mom and we never really bonded . I never understood it . So I think that growing up I always felt like I had to do better , I had to be better , I had to look better , because it was never enough , like I never felt worthy . I think so .

Speaker 3 12:58

As I got older , I got into makeup and I got into the physical and I got it , and so people perceive that as , oh , she's all about herself . She's always taking selfies and it wasn't that at all . But nobody people that didn't know me thought that of me through my social media . They're like oh , she's all about herself . I'm like it's not . I think it was more the opposite . It was like I'm so insecure . That's why I'm all about the filters , that's why I'm all about that , because deep down , it was like I was never enough . If I'm not enough for my mom , then how am I going to be enough for anybody else , you know , and I think that's where that came from .

Speaker 3 13:31

So now I'm I think that's where this feeling of like trying to reach other people , like , hey , like we all , we , everybody battles something . Like there's nobody on this earth that is perfect . The only thing perfect in this world is God and nobody's God . So we're all sinners . Every day we wake up sinners . What we do with that is up to us , and I just kind of want to spread that around , like let people know . Like , hey , you're struggling , but so am I . Like we all have something , I don't care who it is or , you know , it doesn't matter who it is , everybody struggles with something somewhere along the lines . And so I kind of just post

Social Media, Authenticity, and Self-Image

Speaker 3 14:08

reality on my social media to share , like , despite what you see , despite what you think , the filters , the whatever , like I'm a person too and I go through it too and I struggle .

Speaker 3 14:18

I'm a single parent . I have been . My son , like I said , is going to be 19 . My daughter is going to be 16 . And I've done it all by myself , literally , physically , financially , mentally , emotionally , like everything as a single parent . And you know there's families that have you know , like partners , or you know their families and whatever , and I didn't have that either , like I have my mom and that's pretty much it . So it's been hard , like it's been a struggle , and I just feel like I've gone through . I appreciate now the hardships that I've gone through because I've grown from them and I'm a million times stronger than I would have been had I not grown through them , gone through them and that's where I get my strength is I just pray to him and I'm like why ?

Speaker 3 14:58

I used to say why and now I just . I think it's become easier . I've lifted a weight off my own shoulders , stress-wise , when I stopped asking why . Once I learned that there's always a reason why , once I started to accept that there's a reason for it , I started asking for him to reveal to me what that reason is , so that I can accept it better . And that helped me to grow and learn from every situation , especially the hard ones . And I just say to him , like this is a difficult situation and you've created me , so you know my heart and you know my mind , can you just walk me through this ? Don't get me out of it . I'm not asking you to get me out of it . I'm saying walk with me and show me why so that I know for next time saying walk with me and show me why so that .

Speaker 2 15:46

I know for next time , like I want to grow from it . That's good , that's so good . I'm wondering uh , brina is um , you know , when you were talking about the relationship with your mom briefly , or the how it wasn't strong , um , how did that translate then into you know , raising your kids , I mean the , the not feeling worthy . Did that roll over into the relationship with your kids ? You think unintentionally ?

Speaker 3 16:08

It did and that's another part of the godly relationship part that I think I'm , you know I'm so determined to conquer is that I realized what generational curses meant . And uh , you know it's . It's like I always tried to better our relationship and and build a closer bond and it just never , it never . I was not Jamal and Zion like we were like , you know , like roommates , like night and day , like you know , competing like cheerleaders , like I don't know um , but I always wanted better and I wanted more and I wanted , you know , us to love each other and be kind and , you know , share things . And it just never happened and so I never understood it . So when I started praying on it , I asked him to reveal to me why that was . And , um , I just asked . I'm like I , it's hard and I don't think she'll ever budge , but I believe in you and you're the only one that can make the impossible happen . So be the king of kings and show me and do this for me , because you know we're all getting older and time is of the essence and I've already lost my dad . I don't want to do it that way again with my mom . So show me what I need to do and he did . And so one day I prayed on it really hard and , like I told Jamal well , I'll skip forward to I had a .

Speaker 3 17:27

I was in a relationship and you know I had gained a lot of weight and he was in California and I went to go visit him . We had a trip in San Diego and I hadn't seen him in a couple of months because he's from Arizona . But he moved to California and then I went to go visit and blah , blah . Well , I hadn't seen him for a couple of months but when I got there I'd gained all kinds of weight . So I was all insecure about myself and he's never been hard on me about my appearance . I was just always have was in my bathing suit and I just was like just happy with myself and I took it out on him and he was just like you know what ? Like I love you , but I I just it's too much , like I can't , it's never good enough . He would tell he's like it's never . And then I I'm like why do I act like this ? Like , oh my god , he's good to me and him .

Speaker 3 18:11

You know all this stuff and so it just it really he was , and he'd never done that before . So I knew that it was . He meant it like it was there . He's like I don't know if I can do this anymore , you know , and that's why I think it was an eye opener for me , because I'm like this guy would do anything for me and he's like done with me . So there's something wrong here , you know . So I went home and was kind of like what do I do about this ? Like I know that I do this because it's it's a , it's a become a pattern . You know where I was , would be in the dating scene and everything goes well and the first three months are honeymoon , which is , you know , typical for everybody .

Speaker 3 18:49

But then I was like , I was kind of like the guy where they wanted to be committed and I was like Whoa , like hold on , you know like take it back a couple of steps and but it was a pattern and I'm like , why do I say that ? You know , I want to be in a relationship and I'm ready and I , you know , I want to be in this healthy relationship and I want us to be communicated you know , communicative and happy and genuine and all this stuff , and believe in God and all this stuff . And it's like , but then I get what I'm asking for and it's like I can't . I can't do it , like why I don't understand . You know , it was like I was aware that it was me , I knew it was me because it was the same thing every time , and so I just prayed on it and I just asked him to please reveal what it is about , like , what is the root of the problem ? And why do I do this ? Because it's self-sabotage is what it is . It's like I get what I want and then , once I have it , I didn't know how to keep it .

Speaker 3 19:38

So I prayed on it and one day I

Generational Curses and Family Healing

Speaker 3 19:43

I had a . It was on your dad . I had a vision and a well , I don't know if you would call it a bit , well , I don't know . I was , it was daytime and my eyes were closed but I was awake , but it was so anyway , I don't know whatever you want to call it , and it was the craziest thing , and it was my mom , when she was 15 years old .

Speaker 3 20:01

And so a little backstory really quickly about that is my mom was in love with her high school sweetheart . Well , he was 18 , she was 15 , but he was best friends with my uncle and they were both Marines together . Well , my grandmother didn't want her with him because he was older , but my mom was want her with him because he was older , but my mom was on love with him . And so my mom comes home one day to pack her bags and my grandmother asked her what she was doing and my mom said that she was going to leave with him and , you know , go marry him in Mexico , because she wanted to be with him . My mom was like , no , you're not . Like , go with him , you don't have us .

Speaker 3 20:36

So , it's your call , you know basically .

Speaker 3 20:38

Yeah , so long story short . I have this vision and my mom is , you know , she's sitting against my , she's at my grandfather's old home and she's leaning against the door , crying , and she's kind of just like this , like leaning , crying , 15 years old . And then it was kind of like a movie with just short clips . And then the next scene I see my grandmother and she's standing there with a walker and she just looks upset , like her face is just like . She just looks mad . There's no , and so it's funny . So then after that it was the craziest thing . It was kind of like a movie because it just switched to all these different . And then I remember seeing my dad , who was always lively and very happy and he was always the life of the party and just everybody loved my dad , and so I see his face in the class . So then we're like it's like we were in san diego . It was the craziest thing . And I see my dad , his face when he was younger , in the clouds and he's happy and he's smiling and he's like looking down .

Speaker 3 21:32

And then I see my grandfather , who was also very close to and he's looking down and it's the same thing , super happy and smiling , and they're just in the clouds . And so then I look and then I see Jesus and he's like has his arms out and I can see his white robe and he's got a gold belt and he's above the waves and there's palm trees and the whole thing , and the whole thing . And then the next scene skips to the boyfriend that I was with in San Diego and we're holding hands and we're running on the beach and cause I've always said I'm like if I could live anywhere , it'd be San Diego .

Speaker 2 22:06

I love it , like that's where I'm gonna be Right , right , right , and then that's where he was right For his work or whatever at that time .

Speaker 3 22:18

And so there we are , we're running on the beach and we look happy and joyous and everything is perfect , and we're holding hands and we're looking at each other . And then the next scene God is the same thing . He's like , has his arms spread out , but he's above the water and we're just holding hands , facing each other , and it was like he was kind of blessing us . But in the meanwhile there's all of these crazy faces , like I don't know how to describe it . It's kind of like Mount Everest , but like our ancestors .

Speaker 3 22:40

This was like people that I felt were family , but I didn't know them , and it was kind of like black and white faces , like it was older times and it didn't really make sense to me at the time , but it was like they were just watching us , like they were all . It was kind of like Mount Everest , because there was faces everywhere , like around us , but I didn't recognize them , but I felt a closeness to them . It was . It's hard to explain . So I wake up from the vision long story short and I realized that it was a generational curse and I'd been asking for god to reveal to me , and I realized that my mom passed on to me what she never had .

Speaker 3 23:11

So how could she be the mom to me that she never had . So , um , you know , it made sense to me . It was like she was upset with my mom and she that she never had . So , you know , it made sense to me . It was like she was upset with my mom and she's . She held onto that for so long that it it literally just ate her up inside , you know , and it was like we don't talk about those things and those are the kind of deep things that I feel we should talk about because it is mental health and sometimes they don't even know it .

Speaker 3 23:36

I came to her and , you know , shared my vision and I'm like , hey , I don't know what . You know what's been going on between us ? I don't , but I had a vision and I would like to share it with you because I feel like it's important and I honestly feel at this point that I'm here for a reason and it's to help people understand , maybe , their problems or their issues , or to make them feel like they're not only alone , but to maybe break down why they're going through what they're going through , and you know where the problem might . I think I've gotten kind of good at like breaking down the roots of the problem most of the time , and I think that's what helps people to heal . And so I just said to her I'm like I think that you know , I just want to talk to you and because we , you know , weren't , like I said , very close and I just .

Speaker 3 24:23

I said I just need a couple minutes of your time and we need to talk . And so then she just sat there and I just said I don't , you know , I've always tried really hard to be close to you and I just , you know it wasn't reciprocated and I never knew why . I'm like , and I know that you know that I go to church now and I'm all about God and whatever . And you know , like I said , it's a stereotype where people think oh , you act like you're all Christian and you all . And no , I wear lipstick and I'm working on the cussing part . I'm really mad about that and I admit that . You know , like , forgive me , I'm , you know baby steps . I can't just overnight things , but you know it's like nobody's perfect and there's no such thing as a perfect Christian .

Speaker 3 25:04

I don't care who it is when you go to church . It's a church full of sinners . That's what we all are , you know like that's the reality .

Speaker 3 25:10

So I kind of just want to make it normal to be who you are , no matter what you look like or what the stereotype is , and so , anyways , I'm telling her this the story as well . And you know , I just said , I know you know that I go to church and but I need to share something that I feel is really important . You know , and I told her . I said , after my dad died , I just kind of felt like there was a bigger purpose for me and it's kind of funny , I was telling your dad this the other day . I said , for many years I can't even , I can't even think back of like when it started , but I always thought it would be cool to be like martin luther king , like to go down in history for something so big where it's legendary , you know , like right to literally go down in history for something that is just .

Speaker 3 25:53

It's like a , just a landmark , for something you know to have your name and not for my own sake , but i'm'm like just to have that like how cool would that be to change the world and to be in books and to you know , all these things like how cool would that be . It just always has been in the back of my head and now I understand it and it's like I think God talks to us . But we have to be willing to listen in order to get the message and receive it , and I never was , but once I started praying for it and I'm like , hey , reveal to me , show me what am I not doing , or what am I doing , or what can I change . And he did .

Speaker 3 26:29

He showed me through messages , through songs , through dreams , all these crazy things , and I'm like I get him now , like I I'm listening , I'm , I would hear him , but I was never listening before and now I'm listening you know and they make sense to me , and so you know , I told my mom the story and I just said , hey , like I just never felt like I was enough , I never knew why you hated me or you know why we didn't get along and , um , and I just want you to know that I forgive you for it , because I had this vision and I think this is why I said you know , you weren't close to your mom , you were upset with her for what she did and you didn't know how to love me properly , and for that I forgive you because you didn't know . But once you know , it's our job to do better , you know , once you know better they are supposed .

Speaker 3 27:13

You should do better . And and so it was like I forgive you , like I , you know I don't want us to have this relationship . You know , it's like we are limited on our time and we're not guaranteed the rest of today . Even we don't know when it's going to be our last day . So it's important that we use our time efficiently and just really love one another , because I'm like I already learned this through my dad . Like how , you know , it's like I don't want to do this again with you .

Speaker 3 27:42

You know it's like we only have one set of parents like it's important to really just unite and be kind . And you know , forgiveness . And that's when I learned I'm like it's all about forgiveness and love . If we can't forgive , we may not be able to forget , but as long as we can forgive , then we're doing our part and God forgives , you know .

Speaker 3 28:04

It's like I just want you to know that he forgives you and I forgive you , and he uses me sometimes as a vessel , I feel , to help others heal , because sometimes I'll say things and people are like oh , my God , you know , I'm like I don't know , you know , and they're like what did you ?

Speaker 3 28:16

Why are you saying that ? I'm like I don't know , I'm not , I'm saying it but I'm not really saying it . You know , it's kind of confusing , like crazy , because I think I'm crazy sometimes , but he does , he uses me and I said I'm like you're one of those people like people will just gravitate towards me at certain times and I won't always know why , but then later it'll make sense to me and I'm like , oh , I get it now and I'm like kind of like robert de niro , like you , you like that's my joke with him you know , I just like I got you like I know what you're doing , you know , um , but yeah , so my mom just sat there and cried and we just kind of hugged it out and it definitely changed our lives like for the better .

Speaker 3 28:54

So I just you know , it's like if I can help just one person , like I'll post whatever I need to to help people , because I don't think that we talk about this kind of stuff enough . You know it's like if you're not wealthy , then you can't afford a psychiatrist or a counselor . You know it's like you kind of just make do with what you have and I just wanted to know . I'm just type A and I want to know everything all the time . So I did the research and I did self healing for myself you know self reflection and just hitting trigger points and figuring them out and I just taught myself really on over the last couple of weeks and everything that you're speaking to kind of relates to something that each one of those guests have spoken to .

Speaker 2 29:47

So you talked about grief , you talked about depression , a little bit sadness , you talked about intuition and gut feeling and sometimes having to go against your parents . So Chris was the one who talked about grief , and then Cy talked about sometimes having to go with your intuition or your feeling , and not always just being logical . Sometimes you got to go with that feeling and then yeah , there's just so many thread today , man right Zia , I mean you seeing it , you see oh man , of course I'm here , I'm here .

Speaker 2 30:24

I'm here , I'm here , I'm here . It's so cool , man , and so , yeah , yeah , you definitely got to listen to the previous people and some of the suggestions that they've made in general , and then others just hearing you because , uh , the other thing that I'm hearing you saying as far as , uh , relationships when it comes to parenting , also right , it's just being careful of what you're transferring oh yes unintentionally to yes , exactly throughout your family , right that was that was another piece that I was talking to my mom about , with generational curses .

Speaker 3 30:57

I'm like I don't want , I don't want to pass this on to my kids . Like I went through this point of depression a couple years , well , with when covet hit , because I was doing really good and I would go to the gym every day at 4 am and and I was had energy and I was happy and all these things you know . And it's like then I it was covet hit and we couldn't go anywhere , do anything . So I couldn't go to the gym and I started blowing up and I got depressed . I'm like there's no way . I was like , have all these cute clothes and I don't fit in . Anything Like this sucks , you know , and so .

Speaker 3 31:23

But it was hard . It became a mental battle and I think that's when it started . So then I stopped getting child support . I got one child support check a month and then then that ended and I'm like I literally just bought a house . So it was like it was snowballed , all of it . It was just really hard . And then trying to be a mom and be strong to my kids on top of trying to cover my mortgage , and I was having car problems and I wasn't getting child support . And you know I'm physically , mentally , financially responsible for both of these kids like their whole lives and and I don't , I just feel like God blessed me with them and their grades are like straight A students gate , honor program principals .

Speaker 3 32:01

You know , the whole nine and I was like thank you for that , you know , because it has been a struggle and they have no idea right now how hard it is for me . But thank you for blessing me with that , at least so that they can learn from my struggle , so that they can grow , so that they can , you know . So when I went through the depression , I would come home and it was like I was depressed because I felt like a failure . I felt like , you know , all these kids have both parents and they get to go to Hawaii on trips and they get to go , you know , to San Diego and they got a new car and they , you know , and it's like I can't do any of those things and it became very hard for me mentally . Yeah , and I think that's when I hit my stumbling . I was like I couldn't do it anymore . It was I would go to work and cry my , I'm like I work at the U of A .

Speaker 3 32:47

I'd go to work and just bawl my eyes out . People like come to my desk all the time . They're . They would hang out Cause I'm like have plants and like humidifiers and like the blue lights and everything . People like come and just hang out and I'd be all crying . They're all . What's wrong ? Well , nothing , I'm fine .

Speaker 3 33:02

You know , because everybody just comes and hang out Because they're like it's so zen and I'm like , yeah , just come in here when I'm crying , it's totally fine , you know . But I was like I just couldn't take it . I was just like I don't want this for my kids . I need them to go to school and make something of themselves , Because I hope they learn from this and . But when is it going to change ? Like , what is it going to take , you know , to sit there and just ask God , like , what is it going to take ? Like , what else do I need to do ?

Speaker 3 33:30

But once I really leaned on him , I learned that he , he , was the answer to all my prayers and like I got a new car and I , you know , figured it out about my house and , you know , my pay got better . It's like everything , just everything that I prayed for . Once I truly leaned on Him , changed and I like to keep a prayer log and I'll jot down like I'm struggling right now and forgive me for this , but it's not easy for me . So help me through it . Like , show me that you're with me , Even though I know you're always with me . Like , show me that you're present . You know , walk with me and hold my hand and show me that you're with me , because I'm like really struggling .

Speaker 3 34:06

And he would and he did . And it's like you know , life isn't easy and it doesn't come with an instruction manual . But I think that if we teach our kids to be kind and forgiving and explain to them how strong you know prayer is and how powerful God is , it's helping to break our generational curses so that what happened to me and what happened to my mom doesn't happen to generations down the line . You know , making it like concrete kind of um , because I don't think it's discussed enough like we can go to church . But if you don't go to church , you don't really know . You know what I mean . You don't really learn the word . You don't really

Depression, Single Parenting Struggles

Speaker 3 34:42

I don't know because , yeah , I don't know generational curses is awful . So I and I felt like I even taught my mom . I'm like my mom's old nine . I'm sure I think I'm crazy , but here I am teaching her like hey , this is why you were so mean to me , just so you know . You know .

Speaker 3 34:56

And it's like I forgive you , but still I'm just saying . You know , it's like that kind of thing where , like we don't even know sometimes why we feel the way we feel , even as adults . So if we're able to train our kids like we're better off , I think , in a positive environment and you know loving and because it does start at home , and if you're in a not so loving environment , you're going to give your kids what you got , you know , or what you give .

Speaker 2 35:22

That's so true , that's deep . That's deep . Yeah , that's a hundred percent true . It's , yeah , being aware , and I appreciate you sharing your story . I mean , one of the things that you know you said that you wanted to do was , you know , be able to start your own podcast of some sort or be able to reach people in through different mediums . Can you share with us ? I mean , how do people get in touch with you , like , what's your social media ? So we want to use this platform to maybe be the springboard for the beginning .

Speaker 3 35:53

You guys are going to help me because you guys are the dynamic duo . So I have Facebook and I have Instagram and I have TikTok and I have Pinterest , but , like I said , I'm really bad about the facial part of it .

Speaker 3 36:10

So , people , are like you need to just get over it . You need to just do videos . I'm like you don't understand . Like I'm a work in progress and I don't like it . You know , like I want to be able to fix myself , so I'm trying to get better about that , fix myself right . So I'm trying to get better about that . Um but , um , I was telling your dad the other day that I my pinterest , my . I have like 211 000 monthly views or something on my pinterest , but I don't even I don't not , I don't pin anything . So I don't understand . I guess it just my instagram transfers over to my pinterest and I guess that's how I get the views , but um , yeah , I don't do it .

Speaker 3 36:44

I don't do any personal videos or anything , so I'm not really sure . I don't know .

Speaker 2 36:50

I need to get better , but um how do people like , how do people find you then just to begin to start connecting with you ? You're what your , uh , social media handles . Yeah , social media handles . Yeah , social media handles .

Speaker 3 37:02

I need to get those . Can I give them to you after this , of course ? I'm like I should have been ready . Sorry .

Speaker 2 37:11

No , I don't even know where they are .

Speaker 3 37:15

I have them , but I don't know what they are .

Speaker 1 37:18

You're good , this is good .

Speaker 2 37:20

I'm just saying believe me , I'm like , what is it ? I don't know what I put in there , I don't know , I don't all I know is up to it , az baby there you go .

Speaker 1 37:34

We appreciate your , uh , we appreciate your time and thank you for coming on and opening up about your story and I know there's someone here , there's somewhere in there listening that resonated with what you're saying and found rejuvenated hope , and I'm I'm glad that we're able to have you on here to to spread that message , because it comes out better from you than it would from us , you know . So we're glad to have you thank you so much .

Speaker 3 37:56

I appreciate the opportunity you guys of this again . It was fun . Yeah , I want to come back . I want to ride again . Come on , you're going to help me with this video thing .

Speaker 1 38:09

We'll make it happen ?

Speaker 2 38:10

Most definitely . Let's do that Cool . Thank you , Sabrina , for joining us . We appreciate it so much .

Speaker 3 38:15

Thank you guys .

Speaker 2 38:16

No problem , peace . Are you going to do the ? No , we already did the thing in the beginning .

Speaker 1 38:20

We're going to do the thing right now . Here we go , we'll do it again .

Speaker 2 38:23

Yeah , that was Sabrina that was so cool .

Speaker 1 38:28

It was fun , man , that was a good time . Such a great story too .

Speaker 2 38:34

Yeah , man , good information , things for people to consider and think about . You know what's crazy , though , man ? I kind of wrapped this up , like I was saying , with our previous guest there , with a previous guest , um , there was a thread between all of that and what she said , and , um , even the you know , she said she had a prayer journal . Um , I can't remember what guests talked about uh , writing down your um , who was a progress , um , or the little achievements that you've made , that's chris , that was chris .

Speaker 2 38:57

Yep , that was chris . Right , and then you talk about the , the one to one and the one to few versus the one to zero , and the one-to-few versus the one-to-zero man you see what I'm saying , little boy , Dude you out here .

Speaker 1 39:10

You're making us look like a genius out here . We lined this up perfectly . Right , right , right .

Speaker 2 39:14

Well , anyway , man , that was cool , that was cool , that was a good time . So yeah , let them know , man .

Speaker 1 39:18

Yeah , so we're going to get up out of here , but again , you can text us at 904-867-4466 . Again , that's 904-867-4466 . Leave those numbers in your text box because if you leave them and you send a message , we ain't going to get your message . So we'd love to hear from y'all . Think about some guests . This is your time to plug somebody in your community that's doing good . We want to highlight them . We wanted them to talk about their story . Let them know that Z and Jamal want to talk with them . You can send us that text message . You can also send us topics you want to hear more about that maybe resonates with you , or that maybe somebody is struggling with that we can help them out with . Or you just want to tell us that we're doing a good job . You just let us know and you text us Again . Look at that 904-867-4466 .

Speaker 1 40:06

And if you're looking for some speakers you're looking for some speakers you can always reach out to us at uptuitclub . That's uptuitclub . Dad hit the dance ? Oh hey , because you know it's a good time when you're rocking with the both of us at Up To it man . Tough conversations for stronger connections . You can also , lastly , follow us on Instagram at UpToItAZ Pop . Let's get up out of here , man . Great day of recording . Hey , everybody , have a good one We'll get at you .

Speaker 2 40:31

We out Peace , peace .