Up To It Parenting

We Share Why Parent Involvement Faded And How We Plan To Bring It Back

Jamal and Zion Season 4 Episode 10

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0:00 | 32:06

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A beach wedding, twin boys on the way, and a bold pivot in our work set the stage for a bigger question: where did parent engagement go—and how do we bring it back? We open up about family milestones that sharpened our focus, then share why we’ve partnered with Vive18 to house our youth and mental health programming while we double down here on practical, adult-centered parenting education.

From packed family groups years ago to sparsely attended nights now, we trace how attendance slipped before COVID and worsened after. We name the real barriers—time, childcare, transportation, dinner hour—and explore why lectures don’t cut it anymore. Parents show up for what feels urgent, social, and useful; so we lay out formats that respect busy lives: shorter sessions, on-site childcare, hybrid options, and interactive teaching that turns research into steps you can try tomorrow. We also make space for what screens can’t deliver: genuine community, where a quick hallway chat turns into a new tactic, and a shared laugh makes hard topics easier to face.

We talk adolescence as the true crunch time for parent involvement, even as attendance drops in middle and high school. Sports crowds prove parents will prioritize what matters; the fix is to make parent nights feel just as meaningful. That means co-creating agendas with families, inviting honest feedback, and following up with concise recaps and resources. With Vive18’s national network and our on-the-ground experience, we’re ready to bring credible speakers, fresh ideas, and formats that make connection the point, not the afterthought.

Tell us what keeps you away and what would bring you back. Text 904-867-4466 or email zion@uptoit.club with one barrier and one proposed fix. If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a parent friend, and leave a review to help more families find their people.

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Welcome And New Year Energy

SPEAKER_00

I still love it. I still love it. Man, what that that was that was twenty twenty-four, bro. We gotta you get we got we gotta re-up though.

SPEAKER_01

We redo that one, man. Hey, if it if it if it ain't broke, don't fix it. You know what I'm saying? So I like it. Yeah, but you know, we can look at 20 2030. See what's good.

SPEAKER_00

2070, what's up? Uh, I love it, man. Hey, welcome back to the podcast. If you're new here, I am one of your hosts, Zion Givens.

SPEAKER_01

I go by Z out here in the community, and to the right of me, we got hey, Jay Gives, you know, saying that I got a new name, but we'll talk about that in a little bit. Not a not that one we'll be riding with over here with these people, but you know, we'll let them know, let them know. Yeah, man, 2026. What's good, man. What you got, man? What you got going on? You know, I think you got some updates. Uh, because some people may not be following you.

SPEAKER_00

But go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. If you're just strictly following up to it in uh up to it parenting podcast, you probably don't know what's going on. But if you are following the up to a parenting podcast and you follow me personally, then you know what's going on. Uh, so we recently got not recently, now this is uh we're on a month eight.

SPEAKER_01

Well, actually, you know what? They may not even know, uh, because I don't know if we talked about it, what happened before then in July. Right. Okay, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_00

Let's walk back a little bit. Go down memory lane. So um in July 24th, uh, me and my wife ended up getting my fiancee ended up getting married. So there's that. Now we're married. Uh that was a fun. We did it out in San Diego on the beach. Family was there, and uh, I don't know if you can you can speak to it that but we had a good time.

SPEAKER_01

I think we all time. Uh family, friends, um, nice weather. Um, definitely compared to Arizona because Arizona was hot. Right, it was good, it was good to get to get that break real quick. Yeah, get out, get out near the water, catch a breeze or two. So, yeah, so then um

Wedding On The Beach And Family Updates

SPEAKER_01

it was short and sweet, short and sweet to the point.

SPEAKER_00

Then we um got news in August that uh we were expecting a baby, and to our surprise, after I think in September, our first ultrasound or second ultrasound, we found out it wasn't a baby, but rather babies. Uh, so we have twins on the way, right? I got the I got the upgraded title to to dad now. Um, it's funny because this podcast started as a father and son podcast, and now I will be riding now be able to sit here as a son and as a future father, as expected father. So we're we're super pumped up. Like I said, we're on month eight now and we're due end of March, beginning of April, and we couldn't be more excited for that and give dad, uh, my dad the upgraded title to drum roll please, everybody, drum roll please. What you going by, Pop?

SPEAKER_01

So I'm still experimenting, so y'all can y'all can write in and let me know. But I'm going with uh Papa Mall or Pop Mall. Because you know, the uh y'all know me at J Give. My name is Jamal, but people call me Mall. Some call me El Presidente, some call me prez. Uh, but for yeah, for my my little little dudes, little dudes going with Papa Ma or Papa. So uh you brought up a good point, too.

SPEAKER_00

They don't even know that oh, they're they're boys, yeah. So we have two boys. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, they're friends, and they're fraternal. So yes, exactly. So this is all this is all new to us. Um, everybody involved. Um, I mean, definitely

Twins Reveal And Becoming Papa

SPEAKER_01

uh Zion has a nephew. Um actually they don't know about that.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, yeah, so we have we got we got I got a I'm a I'm an uncle now was an uncle in September. So man, it's been we this family is expanding rapidly, and we got friends that are pregnant.

SPEAKER_01

And and the other thing to let people know is because again, we probably didn't share this last year, but you know, for a couple of years now, you've been also a godfather, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. Been a Nino.

SPEAKER_01

So he's been he's been running around with these littles, you know what I'm saying, making it happen and whatnot, and snatching them up and giving them hugs and throwing them around a little bit.

SPEAKER_00

Definitely a lot of it, actually. Uh, but it's been it's been fun, and I can't wait to to have our own set, which is which is great. And yeah, we'll probably do a whole podcast episode on that. Uh uh with with time, I'll be, I mean, I say I'll wind down, but I'll be ramping up with father duties, and hopefully we can have a podcast on what that's like being a uh a young father. I say young father, but a young, a youngish father, and um with twins. I think that's a unique perspective. So let us know if that's something that you want to hear about, see about, because it's our first time in our family having twins like this. So it's gonna be our first go-around doing that. Um, so yeah, super pumped for that. And and um, I got my own channel going on that's strictly about fatherhood and all that good stuff at Given Squared. Um, you can check that out on Instagram, that's where I post all I have like building the crib and getting the car seats in the car and all that stuff, kind of stuff. You want to keep up on that fatherhood.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, trying to learn exactly so you can share with that experience and maybe tap in. I know you've been following some uh some other people with twins, so you can get a general idea of kind of what that's like. So my man's putting in work as far as research and um you know, just trying to see and understand what it's all about. I'm watching uh from the sidelines, like what you learning? Well, what you got? Okay, okay, cool. That's different, that's different. So uh it's gonna be good times, gonna be good times, most definitely.

SPEAKER_00

Man, we can do a whole podcast episode on that, but I don't want to keep I we gotta get into the meat of this conversation. But before we're there, we got more updates to give you more updates, and they're all great news. We got great news, there's all it's only good news on this side. Um, and the first the second one that follows up is that uh we have now entered in a partnership with the organization called Vive18. V I V E 18. If you all are an Espanol speaker, you know it's Vivan uh DC8, you know what I'm saying? So um that is a substance use prevention organization uh that now also focuses on mental health, and we're bringing all of our youth programming and initiatives underneath the Vive18 umbrella. And if you haven't checked out their profile and their stuff, man, you gotta go check them out. Jake White is the co-founder and CEO of Vive18, and his

Launching Given Squared And Twin Prep

SPEAKER_00

wife is also part of the team. And man, it just made sense to bring mental health underneath that umbrella and to to help with the work that they're already doing out here nationally. So if you're looking for anything for you on our programming, our up to it programming, you can go to vibe18.com and book any speaker, uh mental health speaker there, and we'll be there in your community and being able to share the knowledge and wealth. So, what does that mean, Dad, for up to yeah?

SPEAKER_01

So, on this, and then with the up to it uh podcast, you know, we're focusing definitely on adult parenting education. And so definitely still be talking about youth because when you talk about parents, they got kids, and so their kids are youth, um, and just sharing a lot from that perspective. Um, and I mean it's things that we've talked about also

Partnership With Vive18 Announced

SPEAKER_01

before, um, things to consider. Um, what are you know, one also want to know about some of y'all's thoughts on different ideas, things that you've done, not done, things that I've done, and working with youth over 20 plus years now, um, and parenting from the standpoint of you know, also looking at mental health, right? And um, you know, helping your young people to be leaders and using them as resources, um, and just you know, all the good things around just parenting. And so again, you'll still have that perspective though of a father's son and how we work through some of those things, and what are some of the things that we're learning now? Not only um Zion becoming a father, but what are some of the things that were uh challenging, inspirational? Uh so all the all still still the same things, um, but just more heavily on the adult side.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I'm excited for that. And what that means, um bless you, bless you. Thank you. Uh we're excited to embark on that journey, and uh, we've been doing it, and since we've been doing it, we've noticed this trend uh just nationally and in our community about parent engagement. And me and my dad were talking yesterday when we got on, we're talking about what

Refocusing On Adult Parenting Education

SPEAKER_00

we gotta talk on, we gotta bring the podcast topic up. How do we bring it up in a way that is tasteful and not demeaning and you know, calling y'all out? Because that's not the case, right? That's not this what this podcast is about. It's about building up, but also calling y'all in when we need you to be, when we need to tighten up on some things. And the topic that we're talking about, if you're ready, you read the title, it's talking about re-engaging parents post-COVID, right? Like, how do we re-engage parents? And what sparked the conversation was the trend that every community event that we've been invited to speak at or talk to, uh, it's only maybe one or two parents that show up. And unfortunately, it tends to write that, it tends to be the students or parents that don't really need the the information.

SPEAKER_01

Right. No, it's so true. Yeah, it's very interesting. Um, you know, because a lot of the schools and communities um believe and want parents to show up to these uh engagements because they you know hear from parents that they want these um topics and things

The Parent Engagement Problem

SPEAKER_01

of interest, but then the parents don't show up. And it is true, um, a lot of the parents that do show up are the ones that may not necessarily uh need the information but want the information, um and but they they help with the uh spirited conversation, they add on to the conversation, and that's great, but just yeah, just really noticing that we're we've lost parent engagement. And I know, and it makes I I know partly you know people's lives are busy, right? But I'll be honest with you all, what's interesting is I began to see a decline in parent participation pre-COVID. Um, I used to uh run um evidence-based program called Strengthening Families Program, and around 2014, 13, 14, um, you know, parents attending an eight-week, 11-week, 15-week program, parents started to fall off a little bit and and not want to be able to or didn't want to engage in that. But but years prior to that, you know, parents were showing up and understanding, and I don't know if that has to do with maybe they're going more to uh the internet, um, social media, and feel feeling that they're getting their information there. But as we know with some of those platforms, um, you know, there's a lot of misinformation and disinformation and uh really not uh you know, coming maybe probably from reputable sources. Um and so, you know, attending your young person's uh school, and here's the other thing is not parents show up, especially in elementary school, when there's mariachi, or it's a school play, or it's the choir. And what you begin to notice is as they get older, parents begin to not show up as much in uh junior high, middle school, high school. I think parents are like, ah, I'm done, I got it. But the interesting thing is that's when parents need to engage more, right? Right. Because there's so much information, and your youth is getting a lot of information,

Why Attendance Dropped Before And After COVID

SPEAKER_01

and you all should be knowing the information that they're getting and what the truth is or um the misinformation that might be out there, and so attending some of these events, um, it can be beneficial uh to you all. And because like with Z, I don't know if you can speak on it, but you know, I started, I mean, always was you know, in Z's life, um, and you know, always talking with him as he was growing up, but I realized and recognized that I needed to lean in more as he he got older. Um, and so that's when we started having deeper conversations because he's also older and can can talk more and express his feelings more, and uh so it was really, really cool. So um and he was willing to open up with me because I think the relationship that we had uh established prior to that as when you know when he was younger. So uh but yeah, so you want to speak a little bit to that?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I do because I I want I want to go back way back when you first started out with not first started out, but actually like when you ran family groups, and I remember my favorite days were when dad had to work late and I had to go with him. And the reason why it was so much fun was because there was bomb catering, yo. Like I'm I'm not I'm not kidding you. It was it was what beef, rice, tortillas, nachos. Man, they put on a feast for for these families, and families would come. And this is in uh if you're in Tucson, Arizona, the Santa Rosa area, right? That's uh what I forgot the cross streets on there, 30th. 10th and 22nd. 10th and 22nd, right? And man, people would there'd be a lot of people in this small conference room that they had in Kodak, and it'd be packed, and kids would they drop their kids off, and we were all playing together, coloring, talking, and doing some educational components as well. But then, you know, to go from that, you know, now into this like tumbleweed of like you walk in and it's just like crickets and the tumbleweed just rolling by, and it's like dang, like where where is the community? Where is where is that? And I guess when I think about it even more, what comes to mind is how important it is to build community within schools. And one of the things, another thing I noticed is a lot of parents are quick to go to a board meeting when they don't like something that's being done, and they'll talk and they'll be they'll show up and they'll protest and they'll talk, they'll talk the

Community, Schools, And Showing Up

SPEAKER_00

the the govern the the governing board's ear off, and then the board will get to the school and the principal and be like, all right, well, we need to bring this programming in pro and we need to help these two parents and these students. But then, like my dad said, we you these things, these are things you asked for, and that a lot somebody, a coordinator, uh a school rep is putting time and effort in to get you to attend, and we're just we're just not showing up. And I guess we don't have the answer yet. I think I I have we have a hypothesis on how we can make this fun and engaging for y'all to be or do want to be in this and like include you, and not saying this because it's our business model, but genuinely we need to get connected, but we want to know from you what stops you from going to some of these, uh, some of these events or some of these presentations that your school put on and workshops. Yeah, and the way that you can let us know is that you can text us at 904-867-4466, or you can email me personally, man, at Zion or Zion at uptoit.club, or leave us a comment down below. Tell us why why do you think, or why don't you show up to some of these events and some of these workshops or presentations? And that I want you to talk about what are some hurdles and barriers. You as a parent, you as a facilitator, what what are some hurdles and barriers that you've seen?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think a lot of times uh what I hear is time. A lot of times what I hear is time. Uh, you know, how do I squeeze this in? But you know, what's interesting is again, you know, when I've attended uh sports events, I see parents find time for that, you know. But the things that they can maybe get a couple of little bit more skills on or information, they don't show up for those um, you know, football games. Everybody gets them to practice. And but then parents sometimes wonder, well, what's going on with my kid? How come uh this isn't happening or that's not happening, or why are they involved in uh experimenting with substances, or why are they down? Why are they um not eating properly or getting enough sleep or you know, in these uh workshops and presentations that people who are trained um in that field, uh because it could be uh experts, if you will, from that schools are bringing in from uh you know your nearby neighbor uh university, right? Um it could be somebody from your nearby behavioral health organization or treatment facility or um

Barriers: Time, Childcare, And Transportation

SPEAKER_01

just people that have a lot of experience and they want to share it and help. And so I think time is what I've I've heard. Two, sometimes is you know, if you have younger, if you have younger kids, it's childcare. Um, you know, who's gonna watch the other little one um while I'm in here? Because I, you know, it's hard for me to pay attention when I have to deal with another younger one. Um, I think the other time, sometimes I've heard in particular communities, transportation. How do I get there? Like, you know, and and also the other thing is, you know, a lot of times these presentations can be during um you know dinner time. Uh and so people are like, well, how am I gonna feed my kids? I can't wait, you know, for them to eat until seven o'clock, eight o'clock at night, because then they got homework and then they got to get to bed. So I think those are transportation, I think childcare, I think time, or some of the three uh three of the things that I've I've heard. But a lot of schools and or CBOs, community-based organizations, um, and people that are putting these on try to mitigate those by um you know reducing the time of the the workshop itself or having childcare or offering transportation. And so it uh are there are things that that groups are doing to try to help with that. But I'm also just wondering, I guess, Z, you know, and I want to hear from you know our audience out there. Uh I mean, just mentally, what is it? Is it is it too hard to deal with or don't want to um hear the information? Or again, are you all just going to social media? I know we got AI now. Um, but there's also something like Z, you were saying, man, earlier about post-COVID. Um, I think adults need to remember too that we also need that social connection big time. And one of the things that I've learned through my career when you know everybody was um more willing to come together and learn um or be in spaces together, one of the beautiful things that I saw was how people did learn together. Yeah, it also helped them understand that they were not alone, not only from the presenter themselves, but from the others, they're like, Man, you know what? I'm dealing with the same thing too. So, how how did you deal with that? Because sometimes, again, I feel like our community is getting um uh disconnected and parents aren't talking as much. And I know um, I think they call it the fourth space or fifth space, third space or the where you know people are trying, uh communities are trying to build spaces where uh people would hang out more, um right, right, yeah. Third spaces, yeah, yeah. Third space, third space, excuse me. Um, and you know, where

We Need Social Connection Again

SPEAKER_01

they have playgrounds and they have benches, and you know, you walk and then maybe you'll talk to some people and things of that nature. Uh so I think that's really cool. Um, but I think parents remembering that you're not alone, so um and coming together, um, there's things that we can learn from one another that you're you're not possibly gonna see on on these social media platforms.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's so real. And I think the other thing I wanted to add to that too is as presenters, sometimes we have to look ourselves in the mirror too, right? I think sometimes education can be boring and they're like, Well, I'm just gonna sit here for an hour and listen and take notes, or and and not engage, right? And not be engaging. True. Maybe it's the and this is me speculating. Now I we definitely want to hear from you in the comment section. Will you agree? That sometimes learning can be boring. And what I'm thinking in my head, and what we've done a great job at 518 and up to it, has been making prevention fun, right? Whether that's mental health, whether that's substance use prevention, is making it fun for the youth. But for me, I I man, I go to a whole bunch of conferences and I'm sitting here and I'm like, dang, like, this kind of a snooze fest. I ain't gonna lie to you. Like, I'd rather be out here connecting with everybody else in in the lobby or or talking about some spirited ideas that people are doing across the country and get reinvigorated with some ideas and momentum. And maybe again, that adding to that point of connectedness, maybe that's what you need. And I think social media has done a good job of letting us pick and choose what groups we want to be a part of. But when you're in a school and you're in your community, you chose to be part of that community, and we have to show up and we have to talk about because what like my dad said, what somebody's going through in one household, somebody else might be going through in the same in a different household, but the same idea, the same

Make Learning Fun And Engaging

SPEAKER_00

thing, and you need some ideas on how to how to handle that and how can they support each other. And parenting, I mean, I'm new to parenting, but I know that's when we go out and talk in conversation with people, is that it can feel isolating, it can feel lonely. And I think we unintentionally, but intentionally have done that to ourselves by being so caught up and feeling like we're connected through these iPhones and through these phones, but it's nothing like going and meeting and breaking bread with people, especially now in the state of our politics in the world where it feels like everybody is divided. And you know, sometimes you don't need to have a conversation about politics. Sometimes you just have to have a parenting conversation, and you figure out that you're more aligned than you thought you were, depending on that doesn't even matter what political affiliation you're part of. You feel you find out that you have a lot more similarities than you do differences in those rooms together.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, most definitely. Yeah, I agree. I think that you know, uh developmentally, when we talk about adolescence um and the different stages, that adolescence development doesn't care about your political affiliation, doesn't care about your religious beliefs, it doesn't care about um it's gonna happen. And so our youth are going through those things together um at their developmental stages from kindergarten, first grade, fifth grade, eighth grade, twelfth grade. Um, and I think there's something to be said. And some don't get me wrong, I believe that some parents uh find their and make their communities, right? But I think there's a lot that that have it difficult are having difficulty because you can see it in schools because they're saying where the parents are at, and the youth are having a difficult time, and the youth want you to show up. They do, your kid wants you to show up so you can better understand them and and what's going on. And it's not always about the negative stuff, it can also be about the positive things and how to support those positive things that they're doing. I mean, I think about unfortunately the way a lot of parents are you know acting when it does come to sports and being a spectator. Um, and Z, I know you you went through it when you you did a spell uh being a referee for basketball, an official, yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuse me, uh official for uh uh basketball. He's like, I it was come on, I was legit.

SPEAKER_00

Right, right, right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01

Referee is like I was a f I was officiator, and um he was doing his thing, man. And then the hardest part, I think you I remember you telling me after the games, man, you was wore out because it was it was the parents. Right go for it, man. No, I was about to say that's that's a whole nother podcast, too.

SPEAKER_00

That we can talk about that.

SPEAKER_01

Right, right. But just just you know, things that we're

Teens Need You More In High School

SPEAKER_01

all you know that we're all going through um as parents and just the different transitions, and again, um just curious to know um from you all what is it? What what's changed? What um has made this uh come about, and and just to be transparent, the reason we want to know is so that maybe we can fill that gap.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

We can find a way to to help parents. Maybe it's in a different way, maybe it's more you know, uh finding a way for parents to come out or us going to them, and we but we want your help because we have listeners from across the nation. Um, and some even overseas. So some people overseas. So share with us because we we want to be benefit, we want to be um uh make service. Yeah, a service. We want to be a service. We want to uh make sure that we're um adding some value to to folks and not just preaching at. But if you can help us, we can then help you and help those uh across the nation. Um and would really appreciate that. That'd be so cool. Um, just to get like 20, 30, like 100 like responses. That'd be dope.

SPEAKER_00

I like what you said. I said you said some see if you remember how you said it, but you said not only to help us, but help you and help those. Because that's that's the community brain that we have. Like it's it's bigger than us, and we know that because it has to be you and those. That's who we're trying to help. We want to help and those and yourself. So I love it, man. This is this is great. If you want to reach out to us and you can leave a comment below, this is probably we're gonna dad. You know what? I'm gonna we're gonna have a business meeting right now, but I think I'm gonna blast this out with an ad and get it out there so we can get as much responses as we actually can. Uh, but if you don't want to leave a comment and you want to leave yourself anonymous, you can always text us at 904-867-4466. Um, and you can give us your text message thoughts. And you can give us a long-winded answer, you can give us a short answer, whatever it is for you. We want to help you out, we want to help those out. We also want to help bigger and broader communities out there uh across the US and across the nation, man, across the internationally. So if this pulls

Help Us Help You: Share Your Roadblocks

SPEAKER_00

on your heartstrings a little bit, you're like, oh, I've been waiting to have this conversation with somebody, let us know because we'll be here open ears and uh and hopefully a lot of brain turning uh moments so that we can come out to your community and and bring those people along with us. So, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01

And also, again, if you want some uh you know, some parenting education, there's some things that uh we'll be blasting out on our uh our channel um so that you can take a look at some of those topics and things of uh interest. And if there's some topics that maybe you don't see there or that you're interested in learning a little bit more about, we're we're interested in in hearing that also. Because again, we want to we want to meet people where they are um and and offer some some opportunities to to be able to help people learn, grow, and and be them best their best selves, also.

SPEAKER_00

And listen, if we're not the subject matter expert, we got a lot of friends. We got friends that know a lot about a lot of things when it comes to parenting. So we have bring it than high places, not low, we ain't there in hot. No, no, yeah, yeah, they they serve are man. So listen, go ahead, give us a comment, go ahead, DM us, go ahead, text us at 904-867-4466, and we'll be more than happy to talk more about what this looks like and how you can be part of building up something because there's nothing like being a part of the community that's helping others. Um, and with that being said, pop, uh, you can follow us on Instagram at up to it a z. That hasn't changed. Uh, you'll just see a lot more, you see a little bit less youth interaction on there or more of adult interactions on there, meaning uh more adult faces, not a lot of youth facing content, more adult facing content. Uh, and when we say adult facing content, I'm talking about positive adult content. Right, right. Somebody's gonna be over here talking about adult content. What this is only fan.

SPEAKER_01

No,

How To Reach Us And What’s Next

SPEAKER_01

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, channel, grown channel.

SPEAKER_00

Uh well that being said, man, we're gonna get up out of here. We hope you all have a great rest of your day. Uh and we will see y'all on the next episode.

SPEAKER_01

All right, thank y'all. Peace.

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