{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":0.75,"body":"Welcome back."},{"startTime":2.73,"endTime":7.095,"body":"I know that the headphones are not cute"},{"startTime":10.32,"endTime":14.91,"body":"actually, by saying that I bring"},{"startTime":10.32,"endTime":14.91,"body":"attention to it, which I prefer or not so."},{"startTime":17.715,"endTime":23.655,"body":"New headphones that capture better"},{"startTime":17.715,"endTime":23.655,"body":"audio quality are on the list, the"},{"startTime":23.655,"endTime":32.835,"body":"list of priorities, um, just pulling"},{"startTime":23.655,"endTime":32.835,"body":"up my 2025 vision board right now"},{"startTime":32.835,"endTime":37.815,"body":"so that I can channel the right"},{"startTime":32.835,"endTime":37.815,"body":"energy while I do this situation."},{"startTime":40.17,"endTime":46.62,"body":"So for context, I really wanted to do an"},{"startTime":40.17,"endTime":46.62,"body":"episode on what I learned in 2024 because"},{"startTime":46.62,"endTime":55.38,"body":"it was a big year of growth for me and"},{"startTime":46.62,"endTime":55.38,"body":"it really changed the way I view a lot"},{"startTime":55.38,"endTime":65.25,"body":"of things and I feel like it changed the"},{"startTime":55.38,"endTime":65.25,"body":"trajectory, um, in terms of like what"},{"startTime":65.25,"endTime":67.679,"body":"I thought I wanted and what I came to."},{"startTime":69.945,"endTime":74.445,"body":"Instead, or come out the other"},{"startTime":69.945,"endTime":74.445,"body":"side thinking or believing."},{"startTime":75.945,"endTime":82.304,"body":"So I wanted to share that with"},{"startTime":75.945,"endTime":82.304,"body":"you all or just leave it here"},{"startTime":82.304,"endTime":84.824,"body":"for consumption at a later date."},{"startTime":86.264,"endTime":91.935,"body":"Um, people always say things"},{"startTime":86.264,"endTime":91.935,"body":"like growth and success aren't"},{"startTime":91.935,"endTime":96.044,"body":"linear, and I think that."},{"startTime":96.809,"endTime":104.94,"body":"I really felt that this year,"},{"startTime":96.809,"endTime":104.94,"body":"um, just with what felt like"},{"startTime":104.94,"endTime":107.009,"body":"a lot of steps backwards."},{"startTime":107.82,"endTime":113.639,"body":"But if I were to zoom out, I don't"},{"startTime":107.82,"endTime":113.639,"body":"actually know the role that those"},{"startTime":113.639,"endTime":115.289,"body":"steps will play in my future."},{"startTime":115.289,"endTime":120.089,"body":"And it's very possible that those"},{"startTime":115.289,"endTime":120.089,"body":"what felt like steps back could"},{"startTime":120.089,"endTime":122.13,"body":"actually be steps forward or."},{"startTime":123.674,"endTime":127.785,"body":"I don't know, be playing a role that"},{"startTime":123.674,"endTime":127.785,"body":"I don't fully understand right now."},{"startTime":127.785,"endTime":128.475,"body":"So"},{"startTime":130.634,"endTime":135.315,"body":"let me get into what I worked on in 2024."},{"startTime":136.755,"endTime":146.265,"body":"Um, so at the beginning of 2024,"},{"startTime":136.755,"endTime":146.265,"body":"I was finishing up a contract"},{"startTime":146.265,"endTime":151.154,"body":"at Apple as a data engineer, and"},{"startTime":146.265,"endTime":151.154,"body":"that contract ended prematurely."},{"startTime":152.34,"endTime":155.19,"body":"They told me in December of 2023."},{"startTime":156.209,"endTime":161.13,"body":"At the time, I had been podcasting,"},{"startTime":156.209,"endTime":161.13,"body":"interviewing entrepreneurs for about"},{"startTime":162.57,"endTime":170.85,"body":"nine months of my life, and I was really"},{"startTime":162.57,"endTime":170.85,"body":"amped up on the entrepreneurship energy."},{"startTime":171.089,"endTime":174.149,"body":"I wanted to take risks."},{"startTime":174.839,"endTime":176.519,"body":"I wanted to grow as a person."},{"startTime":176.519,"endTime":179.67,"body":"I wanted to try my hand"},{"startTime":176.519,"endTime":179.67,"body":"at entrepreneurship."},{"startTime":180.54,"endTime":188.79,"body":"I wanted my time back from engineering and"},{"startTime":180.54,"endTime":188.79,"body":"I was prepared to sacrifice a salary and"},{"startTime":190.799,"endTime":196.35,"body":"insurance and, you know,"},{"startTime":190.799,"endTime":196.35,"body":"living in a beautiful city."},{"startTime":197.489,"endTime":203.64,"body":"Um, and the, the stab, the"},{"startTime":197.489,"endTime":203.64,"body":"stable income that that required."},{"startTime":204.375,"endTime":209.655,"body":"In order to go and try to get"},{"startTime":204.375,"endTime":209.655,"body":"these things, get experience"},{"startTime":209.655,"endTime":210.675,"body":"being an entrepreneur."},{"startTime":211.635,"endTime":216.165,"body":"So that was my response when I found"},{"startTime":211.635,"endTime":216.165,"body":"out that my contract was ending."},{"startTime":217.965,"endTime":224.715,"body":"And so I sold all my belongings,"},{"startTime":217.965,"endTime":224.715,"body":"bought a car and drove across the"},{"startTime":224.715,"endTime":230.355,"body":"country, home to Michigan from San"},{"startTime":224.715,"endTime":230.355,"body":"Francisco with the help of my family,"},{"startTime":230.385,"endTime":232.245,"body":"and I moved in with my parents."},{"startTime":233.91,"endTime":241.98,"body":"I took about a month to just"},{"startTime":233.91,"endTime":241.98,"body":"kind of like recover from the"},{"startTime":241.98,"endTime":244.14,"body":"busyness of what my life had been."},{"startTime":245.1,"endTime":250.44,"body":"And then I started getting"},{"startTime":245.1,"endTime":250.44,"body":"really into solo work, which"},{"startTime":250.44,"endTime":252.209,"body":"is exactly what I had wanted."},{"startTime":253.079,"endTime":256.5,"body":"I wanted the time and the space"},{"startTime":253.079,"endTime":256.5,"body":"to explore lots of different"},{"startTime":256.5,"endTime":261.089,"body":"thoughts, um, to ramp up the pace"},{"startTime":256.5,"endTime":261.089,"body":"at which I was interviewing people."},{"startTime":261.915,"endTime":271.035,"body":"To grow passion project pending on"},{"startTime":261.915,"endTime":271.035,"body":"social media, to try side hustles,"},{"startTime":271.065,"endTime":278.235,"body":"to network locally, to be the kind of"},{"startTime":271.065,"endTime":278.235,"body":"person who is advocating for themselves,"},{"startTime":278.295,"endTime":285.795,"body":"um, and their product, which at the"},{"startTime":278.295,"endTime":285.795,"body":"time all I had was my podcast and"},{"startTime":286.575,"endTime":291.075,"body":"it was such an experience because."},{"startTime":292.724,"endTime":299.895,"body":"Um, that was a very different feeling"},{"startTime":292.724,"endTime":299.895,"body":"than working a nine to five, having"},{"startTime":299.955,"endTime":305.985,"body":"the structure put upon you, um, which"},{"startTime":299.955,"endTime":305.985,"body":"I used to see as a curse, but I came"},{"startTime":305.985,"endTime":308.534,"body":"to see as actually a nice thing."},{"startTime":309.855,"endTime":315.555,"body":"It is actually quite difficult to go"},{"startTime":309.855,"endTime":315.555,"body":"from having structure put upon you"},{"startTime":315.555,"endTime":317.715,"body":"your entire life to creating your own."},{"startTime":319.289,"endTime":323.609,"body":"In a way where you are actually"},{"startTime":319.289,"endTime":323.609,"body":"like making good use of that time."},{"startTime":323.609,"endTime":328.469,"body":"It requires like these things"},{"startTime":323.609,"endTime":328.469,"body":"like discipline and focus."},{"startTime":329.34,"endTime":334.59,"body":"And I thought that I had developed"},{"startTime":329.34,"endTime":334.59,"body":"those skills and maybe I had in a way,"},{"startTime":334.679,"endTime":341.909,"body":"but not to the extent that this sort"},{"startTime":334.679,"endTime":341.909,"body":"of endeavor seem to require, and by"},{"startTime":341.909,"endTime":344.13,"body":"that I mean solo entrepreneurship."},{"startTime":346.005,"endTime":350.474,"body":"Um, working for yourself,"},{"startTime":346.005,"endTime":350.474,"body":"building a business."},{"startTime":351.945,"endTime":358.455,"body":"Like, there's a lot of like mental"},{"startTime":351.945,"endTime":358.455,"body":"tenacity I think that is involved in that."},{"startTime":358.455,"endTime":365.81,"body":"And I realized through that experience"},{"startTime":358.455,"endTime":365.81,"body":"how shaky my foundation was."},{"startTime":367.185,"endTime":369.854,"body":"I didn't have that tenacity."},{"startTime":369.945,"endTime":370.635,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":374.115,"endTime":381.075,"body":"I learned a lot, but not what"},{"startTime":374.115,"endTime":381.075,"body":"I thought I was gonna learn."},{"startTime":381.135,"endTime":383.445,"body":"Like I thought I was gonna just learn like"},{"startTime":385.665,"endTime":388.31,"body":"business lessons and like, um,"},{"startTime":390.945,"endTime":396.195,"body":"how to make money and like, I don't"},{"startTime":390.945,"endTime":396.195,"body":"know, some sort of like secret"},{"startTime":396.195,"endTime":399.555,"body":"that would unlock external success."},{"startTime":400.89,"endTime":412.59,"body":"But I actually just learned about my"},{"startTime":400.89,"endTime":412.59,"body":"shortcomings in terms of work, um, or"},{"startTime":412.59,"endTime":422.07,"body":"like focus or like pure motivation or like"},{"startTime":412.59,"endTime":422.07,"body":"desire to be really good at one thing."},{"startTime":423.87,"endTime":428.13,"body":"And I became aware of like"},{"startTime":423.87,"endTime":428.13,"body":"what needed to improve."},{"startTime":428.895,"endTime":434.235,"body":"And so what I thought was gonna"},{"startTime":428.895,"endTime":434.235,"body":"be like six months spent building"},{"startTime":434.235,"endTime":439.335,"body":"a successful business or the"},{"startTime":434.235,"endTime":439.335,"body":"foundation of one, it was actually"},{"startTime":441.974,"endTime":447.914,"body":"just coming to terms with like myself"},{"startTime":441.974,"endTime":447.914,"body":"and like where I was at, through a"},{"startTime":447.914,"endTime":450.794,"body":"series of like what felt like failures."},{"startTime":450.885,"endTime":453.974,"body":"Um, whether that was."},{"startTime":456.599,"endTime":463.289,"body":"Like trying to grow my podcasts Instagram"},{"startTime":456.599,"endTime":463.289,"body":"a certain amount, or trying to make"},{"startTime":463.289,"endTime":466.2,"body":"a certain amount through freelancing,"},{"startTime":463.289,"endTime":466.2,"body":"which is something that I did."},{"startTime":466.2,"endTime":469.049,"body":"And I have a separate episode"},{"startTime":466.2,"endTime":469.049,"body":"on that, that you can listen to."},{"startTime":470.49,"endTime":471.24,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":473.325,"endTime":478.409,"body":"just trying to like filter through all of"},{"startTime":473.325,"endTime":478.409,"body":"this, like entrepreneurship, noise online."},{"startTime":481.229,"endTime":484.05,"body":"So, yeah, that's what I worked on."},{"startTime":484.08,"endTime":486.87,"body":"And that's a little bit about"},{"startTime":484.08,"endTime":486.87,"body":"the difference between solo"},{"startTime":486.87,"endTime":489.18,"body":"entrepreneurship versus being employed."},{"startTime":489.75,"endTime":497.28,"body":"It was such an experience and"},{"startTime":489.75,"endTime":497.28,"body":"such a lesson in self-awareness."},{"startTime":497.34,"endTime":503.1,"body":"Um, beyond the work stuff, I learned a"},{"startTime":497.34,"endTime":503.1,"body":"lot about like, how I was approaching"},{"startTime":503.13,"endTime":509.76,"body":"things in life in general in terms"},{"startTime":503.13,"endTime":509.76,"body":"of like relationships and, um."},{"startTime":511.439,"endTime":519.27,"body":"You know, health and like"},{"startTime":511.439,"endTime":519.27,"body":"relationships with family and, um,"},{"startTime":519.299,"endTime":521.969,"body":"how I had been as an employee even."},{"startTime":523.289,"endTime":528.9,"body":"And I, I think like if I were to"},{"startTime":523.289,"endTime":528.9,"body":"summarize like the vibes, it was just"},{"startTime":528.9,"endTime":533.49,"body":"like, again, like, yeah, like realizing"},{"startTime":528.9,"endTime":533.49,"body":"shortcomings, like, like understanding"},{"startTime":533.49,"endTime":538.199,"body":"how much growth there was to be had."},{"startTime":540.225,"endTime":541.305,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":544.545,"endTime":547.785,"body":"in areas my of my life that"},{"startTime":544.545,"endTime":547.785,"body":"were already accessible to me."},{"startTime":547.785,"endTime":553.545,"body":"So it's like I kind of thought"},{"startTime":547.785,"endTime":553.545,"body":"that I was ready to go from like"},{"startTime":553.845,"endTime":564.165,"body":"high earning Silicon Valley Tech"},{"startTime":553.845,"endTime":564.165,"body":"employee to high earning entrepreneur"},{"startTime":566.235,"endTime":566.325,"body":"and."},{"startTime":571.08,"endTime":574.02,"body":"Um, I realized that"},{"startTime":571.08,"endTime":574.02,"body":"like there's still a lot"},{"startTime":576.12,"endTime":581.85,"body":"that I can do to maximize the opportunity"},{"startTime":576.12,"endTime":581.85,"body":"I'm currently in, which is like being"},{"startTime":581.85,"endTime":588.03,"body":"a software engineer, being a podcast"},{"startTime":581.85,"endTime":588.03,"body":"host, being a good friend, taking good"},{"startTime":588.03,"endTime":594.99,"body":"care of myself, understanding myself,"},{"startTime":588.03,"endTime":594.99,"body":"my boundaries, um, what I wanna create."},{"startTime":595.785,"endTime":601.515,"body":"Like how I don't actually"},{"startTime":595.785,"endTime":601.515,"body":"need all the time, all my time"},{"startTime":603.675,"endTime":605.175,"body":"to get what I want right now."},{"startTime":605.175,"endTime":608.834,"body":"Like how I can still learn in"},{"startTime":605.175,"endTime":608.834,"body":"a nine to five, how I can still"},{"startTime":608.834,"endTime":610.785,"body":"derive value from a nine to five."},{"startTime":612.045,"endTime":614.655,"body":"Um, how I want to work"},{"startTime":612.045,"endTime":614.655,"body":"with a team right now."},{"startTime":614.655,"endTime":620.834,"body":"And I'm not equipped to have a"},{"startTime":614.655,"endTime":620.834,"body":"team of my own, like how I need to."},{"startTime":622.365,"endTime":626.025,"body":"Build myself up like financially"},{"startTime":622.365,"endTime":626.025,"body":"and like psychologically"},{"startTime":626.025,"endTime":628.425,"body":"before I take a big risk again."},{"startTime":628.454,"endTime":633.314,"body":"Because when you rip the rug"},{"startTime":628.454,"endTime":633.314,"body":"out from under yourself in terms"},{"startTime":633.314,"endTime":639.464,"body":"of like resources, you are like"},{"startTime":633.314,"endTime":639.464,"body":"forced as a person to scramble."},{"startTime":639.464,"endTime":646.875,"body":"And that is not, that does not"},{"startTime":639.464,"endTime":646.875,"body":"equate to thinking clearly, which"},{"startTime":646.875,"endTime":650.115,"body":"is like where I need to be and like"},{"startTime":646.875,"endTime":650.115,"body":"where I make my best decisions."},{"startTime":650.76,"endTime":652.41,"body":"So these are some of"},{"startTime":650.76,"endTime":652.41,"body":"the lessons I learned."},{"startTime":654.03,"endTime":658.05,"body":"Um, I do think it was"},{"startTime":654.03,"endTime":658.05,"body":"important for me to kind of"},{"startTime":660.33,"endTime":661.41,"body":"rip out."},{"startTime":662.85,"endTime":664.17,"body":"It sounds violent, but"},{"startTime":666.18,"endTime":667.23,"body":"that's kinda what it felt like."},{"startTime":667.29,"endTime":670.32,"body":"Rip out an old life to"},{"startTime":667.29,"endTime":670.32,"body":"make room for a new one."},{"startTime":670.32,"endTime":670.38,"body":"I,"},{"startTime":675.035,"endTime":676.11,"body":"I left San Francisco."},{"startTime":676.11,"endTime":678.51,"body":"I'd always been thinking"},{"startTime":676.11,"endTime":678.51,"body":"of leaving San Francisco."},{"startTime":679.17,"endTime":680.43,"body":"Since the day I moved."},{"startTime":681.39,"endTime":685.77,"body":"Um, not to say it isn't an"},{"startTime":681.39,"endTime":685.77,"body":"incredible place and I love it"},{"startTime":685.77,"endTime":692.01,"body":"there, but that doesn't change"},{"startTime":685.77,"endTime":692.01,"body":"the reality of what I felt inside."},{"startTime":693.24,"endTime":696.87,"body":"Um, and I was ready to leave when I left."},{"startTime":696.87,"endTime":698.579,"body":"I was, I was ready to do that."},{"startTime":698.579,"endTime":700.949,"body":"I was ready for the next"},{"startTime":698.579,"endTime":700.949,"body":"chapter, whatever that held."},{"startTime":702.39,"endTime":706.319,"body":"And in the process of moving."},{"startTime":707.805,"endTime":713.594,"body":"From that, you know, I, I like had"},{"startTime":707.805,"endTime":713.594,"body":"this like weird state being at home."},{"startTime":713.594,"endTime":714.915,"body":"I didn't really know what was next."},{"startTime":714.915,"endTime":720.675,"body":"I didn't know where I was gonna move"},{"startTime":714.915,"endTime":720.675,"body":"or when I was gonna move slowly."},{"startTime":720.675,"endTime":722.655,"body":"I came to like, choose San Diego."},{"startTime":722.655,"endTime":727.636,"body":"But, um, it was, is"},{"startTime":731.77,"endTime":733.05,"body":"interesting and."},{"startTime":734.805,"endTime":740.685,"body":"I didn't realize how much I was influenced"},{"startTime":734.805,"endTime":740.685,"body":"by my environment and like the experiences"},{"startTime":740.685,"endTime":745.845,"body":"and relationships I had had over those"},{"startTime":740.685,"endTime":745.845,"body":"like three plus years in San Francisco."},{"startTime":746.925,"endTime":753.105,"body":"How much I was like living life"},{"startTime":746.925,"endTime":753.105,"body":"similarly to those around me, just"},{"startTime":753.105,"endTime":756.405,"body":"because that's what I saw every day."},{"startTime":758.055,"endTime":760.695,"body":"Um, and I'm not like."},{"startTime":761.79,"endTime":767.97,"body":"Really like trying to judge anyone"},{"startTime":761.79,"endTime":767.97,"body":"here or like speak negatively"},{"startTime":769.08,"endTime":770.79,"body":"about anyone or anything here."},{"startTime":770.79,"endTime":776.07,"body":"It's just that like I realized"},{"startTime":770.79,"endTime":776.07,"body":"that it's possible I wasn't"},{"startTime":776.07,"endTime":777.84,"body":"entirely thinking for myself."},{"startTime":779.67,"endTime":784.74,"body":"Um, because like, let me put it this"},{"startTime":779.67,"endTime":784.74,"body":"way, I could really sink into this."},{"startTime":786.824,"endTime":788.444,"body":"I grew up in Traverse City, Michigan."},{"startTime":788.505,"endTime":789.974,"body":"It's Northern Michigan."},{"startTime":789.974,"endTime":791.204,"body":"It's a conservative town."},{"startTime":791.204,"endTime":793.275,"body":"I went to Catholic school K through 12."},{"startTime":794.055,"endTime":801.135,"body":"Then I went to an Ultraliberal large"},{"startTime":794.055,"endTime":801.135,"body":"university where I met people from"},{"startTime":801.495,"endTime":803.564,"body":"around the country, around the world."},{"startTime":803.564,"endTime":805.185,"body":"Lots of international students."},{"startTime":807.824,"endTime":811.125,"body":"Um, Ann Arbor is probably like"},{"startTime":807.824,"endTime":811.125,"body":"one of the most, if not the"},{"startTime":811.125,"endTime":814.785,"body":"most liberal cities in Michigan."},{"startTime":815.76,"endTime":818.1,"body":"So I went from like"},{"startTime":815.76,"endTime":818.1,"body":"one extreme to another."},{"startTime":819.03,"endTime":819.6,"body":"So"},{"startTime":821.85,"endTime":826.05,"body":"that was jarring because you've"},{"startTime":821.85,"endTime":826.05,"body":"got everyone around you and with"},{"startTime":826.05,"endTime":828.93,"body":"one point of view and then everyone"},{"startTime":826.05,"endTime":828.93,"body":"around you and another point of view."},{"startTime":829.86,"endTime":834.93,"body":"And then I moved to San Francisco"},{"startTime":829.86,"endTime":834.93,"body":"and I met a lot of people there."},{"startTime":835.5,"endTime":839.49,"body":"I got influenced to like big"},{"startTime":835.5,"endTime":839.49,"body":"tech, the money flowing around"},{"startTime":839.49,"endTime":843.57,"body":"out there, the jobs, um."},{"startTime":844.38,"endTime":852.24,"body":"Living in a nice city, doing lots"},{"startTime":844.38,"endTime":852.24,"body":"of fun things, living with roommates"},{"startTime":852.24,"endTime":855.06,"body":"and developing relationships with"},{"startTime":852.24,"endTime":855.06,"body":"girls who are from completely"},{"startTime":855.06,"endTime":856.68,"body":"different backgrounds to myself."},{"startTime":858.06,"endTime":861.84,"body":"And like all of these experiences,"},{"startTime":858.06,"endTime":861.84,"body":"like I'm truly so grateful for"},{"startTime":861.84,"endTime":863.34,"body":"like, they're so eye-opening."},{"startTime":864.06,"endTime":864.75,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":867.87,"endTime":872.43,"body":"but then I moved back home recently and I."},{"startTime":875.984,"endTime":881.984,"body":"I just realized like how much I had grown"},{"startTime":875.984,"endTime":881.984,"body":"as a person since I last lived there."},{"startTime":881.984,"endTime":883.425,"body":"When I was like 18."},{"startTime":883.905,"endTime":891.525,"body":"I was like in high school is when I left,"},{"startTime":883.905,"endTime":891.525,"body":"and how if I had stayed at home like"},{"startTime":891.555,"endTime":893.805,"body":"that growth, like wouldn't have happened."},{"startTime":894.974,"endTime":896.444,"body":"And then I started thinking about like."},{"startTime":897.18,"endTime":900.63,"body":"What all those experiences I had in"},{"startTime":897.18,"endTime":900.63,"body":"life, like did for me and how they"},{"startTime":900.63,"endTime":902.82,"body":"drove me to evolve in different ways."},{"startTime":904.26,"endTime":909.27,"body":"And then I started thinking about"},{"startTime":904.26,"endTime":909.27,"body":"like, if the place you are in and the"},{"startTime":909.27,"endTime":914.82,"body":"people you're around have that much of"},{"startTime":909.27,"endTime":914.82,"body":"a, of an effect despite whatever you"},{"startTime":914.82,"endTime":920.52,"body":"think is going on or despite you not"},{"startTime":914.82,"endTime":920.52,"body":"wanting it to be that way, like how can"},{"startTime":920.52,"endTime":922.89,"body":"I arrange my life in the future too?"},{"startTime":924.42,"endTime":927.27,"body":"Support what I want and support"},{"startTime":924.42,"endTime":927.27,"body":"my dreams in the areas in"},{"startTime":927.27,"endTime":928.95,"body":"which I wanna evolve and grow."},{"startTime":930.48,"endTime":936.78,"body":"And it just opened up this whole question"},{"startTime":930.48,"endTime":936.78,"body":"of like, what do I want life to look like?"},{"startTime":936.78,"endTime":940.68,"body":"And without a nine to five and without"},{"startTime":936.78,"endTime":940.68,"body":"living in a fun city where there"},{"startTime":940.68,"endTime":944.1,"body":"were things going on every single"},{"startTime":940.68,"endTime":944.1,"body":"weekend and people always around me"},{"startTime":944.88,"endTime":948.96,"body":"and things to do, like I had the time"},{"startTime":944.88,"endTime":948.96,"body":"and the space to like sit back and"},{"startTime":948.96,"endTime":950.76,"body":"like think about these questions."},{"startTime":952.245,"endTime":958.814,"body":"And I just would not have"},{"startTime":952.245,"endTime":958.814,"body":"gotten that had I not done this."},{"startTime":958.845,"endTime":961.755,"body":"Frankly, and I'm not"},{"startTime":958.845,"endTime":961.755,"body":"suggesting this in any way."},{"startTime":961.755,"endTime":962.324,"body":"I am not"},{"startTime":964.694,"endTime":967.305,"body":"saying that you should fall"},{"startTime":964.694,"endTime":967.305,"body":"in my footsteps at all if"},{"startTime":967.305,"endTime":968.564,"body":"that isn't clear enough."},{"startTime":968.655,"endTime":968.775,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":970.91,"endTime":976.545,"body":"but I'm just sharing like what happened"},{"startTime":970.91,"endTime":976.545,"body":"to me and how I look back on it now,"},{"startTime":976.545,"endTime":979.694,"body":"and how valuable it was in retrospect."},{"startTime":980.4,"endTime":983.46,"body":"Even though, like while I"},{"startTime":980.4,"endTime":983.46,"body":"was in that period that, like"},{"startTime":983.46,"endTime":984.99,"body":"seven months of living at home,"},{"startTime":987.15,"endTime":988.8,"body":"it was extremely uncomfortable."},{"startTime":990.36,"endTime":992.16,"body":"It was extremely uncomfortable."},{"startTime":992.28,"endTime":999.15,"body":"Which brings me to my next um,"},{"startTime":992.28,"endTime":999.15,"body":"point, which is the comparison"},{"startTime":999.329,"endTime":1001.73,"body":"was just deafening in my ears."},{"startTime":1002.6,"endTime":1007.699,"body":"There's, uh, since I was close"},{"startTime":1002.6,"endTime":1007.699,"body":"to Chicago, I went there a couple"},{"startTime":1007.699,"endTime":1009.26,"body":"times and I stayed there a month."},{"startTime":1010.58,"endTime":1015.32,"body":"Over the course of last year, and I like"},{"startTime":1010.58,"endTime":1015.32,"body":"reconnected with a bunch of people from"},{"startTime":1015.32,"endTime":1020.06,"body":"high school and obviously social media is"},{"startTime":1015.32,"endTime":1020.06,"body":"gonna be like showing you people's lives,"},{"startTime":1020.06,"endTime":1026.63,"body":"but, um, in particular like being privy"},{"startTime":1020.06,"endTime":1026.63,"body":"to these people from high school and their"},{"startTime":1026.63,"endTime":1032.21,"body":"lives, um, how they just had their life"},{"startTime":1026.63,"endTime":1032.21,"body":"like set up in Chicago and how they were"},{"startTime":1032.21,"endTime":1034.22,"body":"like advancing in their roles and like."},{"startTime":1037.07,"endTime":1039.98,"body":"You know, meanwhile, I felt like"},{"startTime":1037.07,"endTime":1039.98,"body":"I had taken a thousand steps"},{"startTime":1039.98,"endTime":1041.75,"body":"back by like moving back home."},{"startTime":1041.75,"endTime":1045.74,"body":"Like while, while on one level I knew"},{"startTime":1041.75,"endTime":1045.74,"body":"that I was like pursuing a dream of"},{"startTime":1045.74,"endTime":1047.84,"body":"mine and probably growing in some way."},{"startTime":1048.89,"endTime":1056.06,"body":"I also felt like I was failing because"},{"startTime":1048.89,"endTime":1056.06,"body":"I wasn't making money and I didn't"},{"startTime":1056.06,"endTime":1057.92,"body":"know what was next and I didn't know."},{"startTime":1058.88,"endTime":1062.81,"body":"What was on the other side of this, and"},{"startTime":1058.88,"endTime":1062.81,"body":"I was just grappling, just grappling"},{"startTime":1062.81,"endTime":1069.02,"body":"constantly with the discomfort of"},{"startTime":1062.81,"endTime":1069.02,"body":"all of it while, um, being exposed to"},{"startTime":1069.02,"endTime":1073.31,"body":"people who are seemingly, who knows,"},{"startTime":1069.02,"endTime":1073.31,"body":"you know, what people are really"},{"startTime":1073.31,"endTime":1078.14,"body":"feeling, but seemingly so stable"},{"startTime":1073.31,"endTime":1078.14,"body":"and like, set up and comfortable."},{"startTime":1078.89,"endTime":1080.36,"body":"And that's a big question, right?"},{"startTime":1080.365,"endTime":1084.59,"body":"Like the comfort versus"},{"startTime":1080.365,"endTime":1084.59,"body":"the, versus the discomfort."},{"startTime":1084.68,"endTime":1085.25,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":1086.78,"endTime":1092.99,"body":"I've always been a little uncomfortable"},{"startTime":1086.78,"endTime":1092.99,"body":"when I get too comfortable, and that has"},{"startTime":1092.99,"endTime":1096.65,"body":"been like a blessing and a curse like"},{"startTime":1092.99,"endTime":1096.65,"body":"that has pushed me out of environments"},{"startTime":1098.57,"endTime":1100.07,"body":"where I'm not growing anymore."},{"startTime":1101.45,"endTime":1105.11,"body":"But also sometimes, like it's really,"},{"startTime":1101.45,"endTime":1105.11,"body":"it's really hard for me to balance,"},{"startTime":1105.11,"endTime":1112.7,"body":"like not to complain, um, but it,"},{"startTime":1105.11,"endTime":1112.7,"body":"it causes me, you know, there's"},{"startTime":1112.7,"endTime":1115.13,"body":"an internal struggle there when."},{"startTime":1115.565,"endTime":1122.285,"body":"I don't know how to tamper down the,"},{"startTime":1115.565,"endTime":1122.285,"body":"the appetite for growth and it leaves me"},{"startTime":1122.285,"endTime":1124.685,"body":"feeling like exhausted and overwhelmed."},{"startTime":1125.045,"endTime":1130.235,"body":"Um, and last year is a big example"},{"startTime":1125.045,"endTime":1130.235,"body":"of that, which again, is why I"},{"startTime":1131.495,"endTime":1134.135,"body":"would never suggest what I did."},{"startTime":1134.9,"endTime":1140.96,"body":"Is a good idea or like, yeah,"},{"startTime":1134.9,"endTime":1140.96,"body":"which I'll get more into that in"},{"startTime":1140.96,"endTime":1145.22,"body":"an upcoming episode, um, where I"},{"startTime":1140.96,"endTime":1145.22,"body":"talk a little bit about a business."},{"startTime":1145.22,"endTime":1152.99,"body":"I was able to, um, really observe"},{"startTime":1145.22,"endTime":1152.99,"body":"closely here in San Diego, but"},{"startTime":1152.99,"endTime":1154.31,"body":"that's for another episode."},{"startTime":1155.54,"endTime":1163.01,"body":"Um, so yeah, the, the"},{"startTime":1155.54,"endTime":1163.01,"body":"isolation as well was."},{"startTime":1163.88,"endTime":1169.73,"body":"Painful because it was so black and"},{"startTime":1163.88,"endTime":1169.73,"body":"white compared to the last three years"},{"startTime":1169.73,"endTime":1171.2,"body":"where I had just been go, go, go."},{"startTime":1171.2,"endTime":1176.87,"body":"And I remember when I first moved to"},{"startTime":1171.2,"endTime":1176.87,"body":"San Francisco with, um, I lived with"},{"startTime":1176.87,"endTime":1179.0,"body":"another girl from Michigan, love her."},{"startTime":1180.62,"endTime":1185.27,"body":"And I remember us having a conversation"},{"startTime":1180.62,"endTime":1185.27,"body":"about how we were so overwhelmed at"},{"startTime":1185.27,"endTime":1189.11,"body":"like, the weather was always nice in San"},{"startTime":1185.27,"endTime":1189.11,"body":"Francisco and in Michigan, you know, you"},{"startTime":1189.11,"endTime":1192.325,"body":"have that like hibernation in the winter"},{"startTime":1189.11,"endTime":1192.325,"body":"where you can't like get out a lot."},{"startTime":1193.64,"endTime":1196.61,"body":"And you naturally have that"},{"startTime":1193.64,"endTime":1196.61,"body":"time for like more rest."},{"startTime":1196.67,"endTime":1201.32,"body":"But then when you live somewhere"},{"startTime":1196.67,"endTime":1201.32,"body":"like, I guess California, like,"},{"startTime":1202.25,"endTime":1205.43,"body":"like one of these big cities,"},{"startTime":1202.25,"endTime":1205.43,"body":"like there's always stuff to do."},{"startTime":1205.43,"endTime":1208.01,"body":"So like you don't really"},{"startTime":1205.43,"endTime":1208.01,"body":"get that same rest."},{"startTime":1209.21,"endTime":1210.41,"body":"It's a big adjustment."},{"startTime":1210.41,"endTime":1216.14,"body":"And by the time that I left San"},{"startTime":1210.41,"endTime":1216.14,"body":"Francisco for home, um, I was"},{"startTime":1216.14,"endTime":1218.39,"body":"fully used to like go, go, go."},{"startTime":1220.745,"endTime":1224.855,"body":"Then to go right back into like doing"},{"startTime":1220.745,"endTime":1224.855,"body":"very little was like quite jarring"},{"startTime":1226.775,"endTime":1228.245,"body":"and it was like soothing at first."},{"startTime":1228.245,"endTime":1231.755,"body":"But then after a while, you"},{"startTime":1228.245,"endTime":1231.755,"body":"know, there's like that, like"},{"startTime":1231.755,"endTime":1233.375,"body":"restlessness and that like,"},{"startTime":1236.015,"endTime":1239.405,"body":"I don't know that like, am I doing enough?"},{"startTime":1241.15,"endTime":1247.16,"body":"And because I was going through so many"},{"startTime":1241.15,"endTime":1247.16,"body":"changes, like internally, I also tended"},{"startTime":1247.16,"endTime":1254.0,"body":"to retreat inward and not, you know, I"},{"startTime":1247.16,"endTime":1254.0,"body":"didn't have a lot of energy to maintain a"},{"startTime":1254.0,"endTime":1262.01,"body":"lot of my relationships that were now long"},{"startTime":1254.0,"endTime":1262.01,"body":"distance relationships because I was so"},{"startTime":1262.01,"endTime":1266.78,"body":"busy, like dealing with my own like inner."},{"startTime":1268.55,"endTime":1269.57,"body":"Situation."},{"startTime":1270.95,"endTime":1272.57,"body":"And so it was very isolating."},{"startTime":1274.19,"endTime":1279.74,"body":"Um, but some of the things that"},{"startTime":1274.19,"endTime":1279.74,"body":"really helped me throughout this time"},{"startTime":1282.26,"endTime":1283.415,"body":"was, um,"},{"startTime":1286.85,"endTime":1291.17,"body":"actually just like journaling was huge."},{"startTime":1291.35,"endTime":1294.74,"body":"Journaling became like"},{"startTime":1291.35,"endTime":1294.74,"body":"so, so valuable to me."},{"startTime":1295.88,"endTime":1296.6,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":1297.86,"endTime":1303.35,"body":"I have a lot of thoughts like swirling"},{"startTime":1297.86,"endTime":1303.35,"body":"in my head like then and now journaling"},{"startTime":1303.35,"endTime":1305.33,"body":"helps me like have an outlet for that."},{"startTime":1306.38,"endTime":1309.92,"body":"And what I really came to appreciate,"},{"startTime":1306.38,"endTime":1309.92,"body":"appreciate about journaling was that it"},{"startTime":1309.92,"endTime":1314.63,"body":"was all for me, it was all private and a"},{"startTime":1309.92,"endTime":1314.63,"body":"lot of what I had been doing was constant"},{"startTime":1314.66,"endTime":1320.66,"body":"output, constant putting out content for"},{"startTime":1314.66,"endTime":1320.66,"body":"people to see, for people to perceive"},{"startTime":1320.66,"endTime":1323.36,"body":"and then comment on or interact with."},{"startTime":1323.36,"endTime":1325.1,"body":"And it was all just like four."},{"startTime":1326.96,"endTime":1332.57,"body":"Something other than myself and"},{"startTime":1326.96,"endTime":1332.57,"body":"journaling allowed me like the space to"},{"startTime":1332.57,"endTime":1336.83,"body":"like just show up however I wanted to."},{"startTime":1336.83,"endTime":1344.75,"body":"It was like I had this freedom to"},{"startTime":1336.83,"endTime":1344.75,"body":"just like be so incredibly transparent"},{"startTime":1344.75,"endTime":1351.53,"body":"with like myself, and that kind of"},{"startTime":1344.75,"endTime":1351.53,"body":"went into like self-observation,"},{"startTime":1351.53,"endTime":1355.31,"body":"which allowed me to see a lot of,"},{"startTime":1351.53,"endTime":1355.31,"body":"a lot of the things I was doing."},{"startTime":1355.94,"endTime":1360.89,"body":"That maybe weren't helping or"},{"startTime":1355.94,"endTime":1360.89,"body":"weren't feeling good for me."},{"startTime":1360.89,"endTime":1365.06,"body":"I became much more like intuitive"},{"startTime":1360.89,"endTime":1365.06,"body":"throughout this season of life."},{"startTime":1365.21,"endTime":1372.11,"body":"Um, before I seemed to kind of"},{"startTime":1365.21,"endTime":1372.11,"body":"stomp all over intuition, um,"},{"startTime":1374.36,"endTime":1380.81,"body":"because I, I don't know, I just,"},{"startTime":1374.36,"endTime":1380.81,"body":"I didn't really see the value in"},{"startTime":1380.81,"endTime":1382.49,"body":"it, but that has changed since."},{"startTime":1383.81,"endTime":1384.44,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":1385.52,"endTime":1389.09,"body":"And then another resource that"},{"startTime":1385.52,"endTime":1389.09,"body":"helped me actually is, um, this"},{"startTime":1389.09,"endTime":1392.87,"body":"podcast called Founders by David sra."},{"startTime":1393.05,"endTime":1395.99,"body":"And he's been doing it for"},{"startTime":1393.05,"endTime":1395.99,"body":"over five years at this point."},{"startTime":1397.31,"endTime":1404.78,"body":"And basically he reads the biographies"},{"startTime":1397.31,"endTime":1404.78,"body":"of famous founders, um, most of which"},{"startTime":1404.78,"endTime":1408.98,"body":"have like potentially passed away."},{"startTime":1409.61,"endTime":1410.99,"body":"It's like from the past."},{"startTime":1412.28,"endTime":1415.58,"body":"He's doing a lot more like modern ones"},{"startTime":1412.28,"endTime":1415.58,"body":"these days though, from what I can tell."},{"startTime":1415.7,"endTime":1419.09,"body":"But like Jeff Bezos and stuff."},{"startTime":1419.09,"endTime":1424.79,"body":"But, um, he's, he basically studies"},{"startTime":1419.09,"endTime":1424.79,"body":"'em and he's a big proponent of like,"},{"startTime":1424.79,"endTime":1428.39,"body":"reading and he just like distills"},{"startTime":1424.79,"endTime":1428.39,"body":"like the lessons of these people and"},{"startTime":1428.39,"endTime":1433.46,"body":"their lives into podcast episodes"},{"startTime":1428.39,"endTime":1433.46,"body":"that you can digest really easily."},{"startTime":1433.46,"endTime":1436.97,"body":"And throughout, through listening"},{"startTime":1433.46,"endTime":1436.97,"body":"to a lot of those, it really"},{"startTime":1436.97,"endTime":1439.28,"body":"helped me like become clear on."},{"startTime":1442.235,"endTime":1442.835,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":1445.415,"endTime":1449.885,"body":"you know, what a successful path might"},{"startTime":1445.415,"endTime":1449.885,"body":"look like and like the sacrifices it"},{"startTime":1449.885,"endTime":1454.985,"body":"might require and like what it looks"},{"startTime":1449.885,"endTime":1454.985,"body":"like to actually create something like"},{"startTime":1454.985,"endTime":1459.065,"body":"really, really great, which is I think"},{"startTime":1454.985,"endTime":1459.065,"body":"like what I want more than anything."},{"startTime":1459.455,"endTime":1460.145,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":1462.905,"endTime":1464.255,"body":"at least when I'm talking about like."},{"startTime":1465.23,"endTime":1468.23,"body":"Business goals or like work life goals."},{"startTime":1470.57,"endTime":1472.55,"body":"So those are some things that helped me."},{"startTime":1473.87,"endTime":1479.3,"body":"Um, I realized what is"},{"startTime":1473.87,"endTime":1479.3,"body":"important to me is more so"},{"startTime":1481.34,"endTime":1487.94,"body":"learning, developing skills, creating"},{"startTime":1481.34,"endTime":1487.94,"body":"something truly valuable that aligns"},{"startTime":1487.94,"endTime":1490.28,"body":"with like what I'm interested in."},{"startTime":1490.88,"endTime":1491.33,"body":"So."},{"startTime":1491.885,"endTime":1495.485,"body":"Basically the importance of just finding"},{"startTime":1491.885,"endTime":1495.485,"body":"out what's important to me, what I"},{"startTime":1495.485,"endTime":1497.195,"body":"like to do, like that's important."},{"startTime":1498.785,"endTime":1503.825,"body":"Um, I want to, I wanna be able"},{"startTime":1498.785,"endTime":1503.825,"body":"to collaborate with people."},{"startTime":1503.825,"endTime":1505.325,"body":"I don't wanna do it all alone."},{"startTime":1505.325,"endTime":1507.455,"body":"I don't wanna work in complete isolation."},{"startTime":1508.325,"endTime":1509.555,"body":"So that's important to me."},{"startTime":1511.475,"endTime":1516.845,"body":"Um, and I, I realized, um."},{"startTime":1517.25,"endTime":1521.75,"body":"That I wanna live somewhere where"},{"startTime":1517.25,"endTime":1521.75,"body":"I am just like, happy and I have"},{"startTime":1521.75,"endTime":1528.11,"body":"the time and space to focus on, you"},{"startTime":1521.75,"endTime":1528.11,"body":"know, like my health and fitness and"},{"startTime":1529.07,"endTime":1532.91,"body":"relationships and work, whatever that is."},{"startTime":1532.91,"endTime":1536.24,"body":"I just want the space to do that."},{"startTime":1536.24,"endTime":1542.15,"body":"And I'm, I'm less interested in a life"},{"startTime":1536.24,"endTime":1542.15,"body":"that looks really good or whatever."},{"startTime":1543.05,"endTime":1545.24,"body":"It just, it just really"},{"startTime":1543.05,"endTime":1545.24,"body":"needs to feel good."},{"startTime":1545.9,"endTime":1546.53,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":1547.85,"endTime":1551.39,"body":"I felt like that was kind of like"},{"startTime":1547.85,"endTime":1551.39,"body":"a trap I was in, in San Francisco,"},{"startTime":1551.39,"endTime":1555.47,"body":"where I was just like, I needed"},{"startTime":1551.39,"endTime":1555.47,"body":"everything to look really good."},{"startTime":1556.16,"endTime":1560.63,"body":"Um, but it was feeling like really"},{"startTime":1556.16,"endTime":1560.63,"body":"hard and really painful sometimes,"},{"startTime":1560.63,"endTime":1563.69,"body":"really overwhelming a lot of things."},{"startTime":1563.69,"endTime":1566.63,"body":"Didn't, didn't feel like they aligned."},{"startTime":1566.63,"endTime":1573.65,"body":"I just like, there was a lot of"},{"startTime":1566.63,"endTime":1573.65,"body":"overwhelm and resulting anxiety so."},{"startTime":1578.795,"endTime":1580.445,"body":"I realize that's what's important to me."},{"startTime":1582.635,"endTime":1585.125,"body":"And then I moved across country obviously,"},{"startTime":1590.705,"endTime":1593.195,"body":"so I'm gonna need to wrap this"},{"startTime":1590.705,"endTime":1593.195,"body":"up soon 'cause like, dear God."},{"startTime":1598.895,"endTime":1602.645,"body":"I moved across the country because"},{"startTime":1598.895,"endTime":1602.645,"body":"I wanted to live in San Diego."},{"startTime":1607.805,"endTime":1609.335,"body":"And boy was that a journey."},{"startTime":1616.235,"endTime":1618.755,"body":"Moving across the country is"},{"startTime":1616.235,"endTime":1618.755,"body":"one thing if you're financially"},{"startTime":1618.755,"endTime":1620.615,"body":"prepared for it, I was not."},{"startTime":1620.975,"endTime":1626.465,"body":"So that added a whole other"},{"startTime":1620.975,"endTime":1626.465,"body":"layer of what exactly am I doing?"},{"startTime":1627.74,"endTime":1634.85,"body":"And you'll hear people say things"},{"startTime":1627.74,"endTime":1634.85,"body":"like, you know, take that leap, push"},{"startTime":1634.85,"endTime":1637.01,"body":"yourself and find a way to make it work."},{"startTime":1638.21,"endTime":1641.06,"body":"Let me just say, yes,"},{"startTime":1638.21,"endTime":1641.06,"body":"that can be valuable,"},{"startTime":1643.61,"endTime":1648.92,"body":"but it can also be like"},{"startTime":1643.61,"endTime":1648.92,"body":"grading on your nervous system."},{"startTime":1650.12,"endTime":1650.42,"body":"So."},{"startTime":1651.83,"endTime":1655.58,"body":"I'm just gonna add in like a general"},{"startTime":1651.83,"endTime":1655.58,"body":"disclaimer here to take everything"},{"startTime":1655.58,"endTime":1659.9,"body":"you hear on the internet and on social"},{"startTime":1655.58,"endTime":1659.9,"body":"media with an extreme grain of salt"},{"startTime":1661.73,"endTime":1664.49,"body":"and pay attention to its effect on you."},{"startTime":1664.85,"endTime":1669.2,"body":"Even while you may watch something"},{"startTime":1664.85,"endTime":1669.2,"body":"and be like, yeah, I'm not,"},{"startTime":1669.2,"endTime":1670.64,"body":"that's not really affecting me."},{"startTime":1670.67,"endTime":1674.18,"body":"Like when you hear something enough"},{"startTime":1670.67,"endTime":1674.18,"body":"times, like it starts to like"},{"startTime":1674.54,"endTime":1676.97,"body":"affect your subconscious, I swear."},{"startTime":1678.89,"endTime":1680.0,"body":"And, um."},{"startTime":1682.655,"endTime":1684.815,"body":"Yeah, these things are"},{"startTime":1682.655,"endTime":1684.815,"body":"not to be taken lightly."},{"startTime":1684.815,"endTime":1699.305,"body":"Like the things that I did were"},{"startTime":1684.815,"endTime":1699.305,"body":"extreme and I am not going to add to,"},{"startTime":1703.265,"endTime":1706.085,"body":"uh, glorifying those decisions in any way."},{"startTime":1706.475,"endTime":1708.185,"body":"Like I absolutely will not be doing that."},{"startTime":1709.745,"endTime":1720.095,"body":"Um, it's important for me to"},{"startTime":1709.745,"endTime":1720.095,"body":"me to share here the reality of"},{"startTime":1720.095,"endTime":1724.205,"body":"how those things felt, because"},{"startTime":1726.275,"endTime":1727.025,"body":"dear me"},{"startTime":1729.335,"endTime":1730.715,"body":"is all I have to say on that."},{"startTime":1731.885,"endTime":1736.44,"body":"Um, however, I did move and."},{"startTime":1739.46,"endTime":1740.54,"body":"It was an experience."},{"startTime":1740.66,"endTime":1743.66,"body":"It truly was an experience,"},{"startTime":1747.59,"endTime":1748.28,"body":"and"},{"startTime":1751.85,"endTime":1755.12,"body":"I'm so grateful for"},{"startTime":1758.665,"endTime":1763.1,"body":"surviving it, but also the"},{"startTime":1758.665,"endTime":1763.1,"body":"lessons that I learned."},{"startTime":1765.875,"endTime":1768.515,"body":"In those first couple"},{"startTime":1765.875,"endTime":1768.515,"body":"months here in San Diego."},{"startTime":1768.845,"endTime":1778.565,"body":"Um, I, for perspective, like I"},{"startTime":1768.845,"endTime":1778.565,"body":"was struggling, like I was without"},{"startTime":1778.565,"endTime":1780.965,"body":"a job in an expensive city,"},{"startTime":1783.005,"endTime":1787.805,"body":"um, insecure about everything basically."},{"startTime":1789.335,"endTime":1791.525,"body":"Um, which is natural, I think."},{"startTime":1791.825,"endTime":1795.305,"body":"Given everything that I went through,"},{"startTime":1791.825,"endTime":1795.305,"body":"like I ripped out everything I"},{"startTime":1795.305,"endTime":1804.095,"body":"knew and believed in to make room"},{"startTime":1795.305,"endTime":1804.095,"body":"for new beliefs, new habits, and I"},{"startTime":1804.095,"endTime":1809.045,"body":"wasn't, you know, I wasn't settled"},{"startTime":1804.095,"endTime":1809.045,"body":"yet, so I was just in this state of"},{"startTime":1809.045,"endTime":1813.785,"body":"like unknown what was gonna happen."},{"startTime":1814.925,"endTime":1815.645,"body":"All the while."},{"startTime":1815.645,"endTime":1820.685,"body":"I had to dedicate, I had to drop one"},{"startTime":1815.645,"endTime":1820.685,"body":"endeavor, which was my own business."},{"startTime":1822.68,"endTime":1828.23,"body":"Or trying to make a business, and I had to"},{"startTime":1822.68,"endTime":1828.23,"body":"shift gears and start looking for a job,"},{"startTime":1830.0,"endTime":1835.28,"body":"and I had to devote all my focus to that."},{"startTime":1835.34,"endTime":1836.51,"body":"I had to"},{"startTime":1840.35,"endTime":1843.8,"body":"figure that out and."},{"startTime":1846.77,"endTime":1852.2,"body":"I tried to use that as an opportunity"},{"startTime":1846.77,"endTime":1852.2,"body":"to find the positive and the"},{"startTime":1852.2,"endTime":1856.97,"body":"gratitude in my life while I was"},{"startTime":1852.2,"endTime":1856.97,"body":"going through a challenging time."},{"startTime":1856.97,"endTime":1860.57,"body":"And so what was super important"},{"startTime":1856.97,"endTime":1860.57,"body":"here was perspective shifts."},{"startTime":1861.86,"endTime":1861.92,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":1865.275,"endTime":1867.865,"body":"for example, in"},{"startTime":1870.86,"endTime":1873.53,"body":"September of 2023, I was."},{"startTime":1875.39,"endTime":1885.05,"body":"You know, making great money, lived"},{"startTime":1875.39,"endTime":1885.05,"body":"in a beautiful apartment, had freedom"},{"startTime":1885.05,"endTime":1890.42,"body":"to, if I needed to book a flight, if"},{"startTime":1885.05,"endTime":1890.42,"body":"I needed to buy an outfit, needed, you"},{"startTime":1890.42,"endTime":1896.48,"body":"know, in quotes if I needed to like"},{"startTime":1899.81,"endTime":1900.71,"body":"go."},{"startTime":1901.565,"endTime":1903.905,"body":"I don't know, spend some money."},{"startTime":1906.005,"endTime":1908.615,"body":"I could, I had no restrictions there."},{"startTime":1908.765,"endTime":1913.805,"body":"I had complete control over"},{"startTime":1908.765,"endTime":1913.805,"body":"my life, my environment."},{"startTime":1913.955,"endTime":1920.645,"body":"Um, not necessarily my time, but I was,"},{"startTime":1913.955,"endTime":1920.645,"body":"you know, I was growing my podcast."},{"startTime":1920.645,"endTime":1927.515,"body":"I was interviewing more people,"},{"startTime":1920.645,"endTime":1927.515,"body":"I was gaining momentum there."},{"startTime":1927.605,"endTime":1928.235,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":1929.135,"endTime":1934.715,"body":"My life was just like, so, like"},{"startTime":1929.135,"endTime":1934.715,"body":"multifaceted and like busy."},{"startTime":1934.715,"endTime":1938.045,"body":"And I'm not gonna say it"},{"startTime":1934.715,"endTime":1938.045,"body":"was like all bad things."},{"startTime":1938.075,"endTime":1940.355,"body":"'cause like it, there were"},{"startTime":1938.075,"endTime":1940.355,"body":"lots of beautiful things."},{"startTime":1940.355,"endTime":1942.695,"body":"You know, I had great"},{"startTime":1940.355,"endTime":1942.695,"body":"relationships at that point."},{"startTime":1942.695,"endTime":1951.035,"body":"Like I had, I had invested a lot in,"},{"startTime":1942.695,"endTime":1951.035,"body":"in building that life in San Francisco"},{"startTime":1951.035,"endTime":1954.335,"body":"and I started living alone and I"},{"startTime":1951.035,"endTime":1954.335,"body":"started my podcast and all the things."},{"startTime":1955.085,"endTime":1957.995,"body":"And then a year later I"},{"startTime":1955.085,"endTime":1957.995,"body":"was back in California."},{"startTime":1958.535,"endTime":1965.285,"body":"With no money, no job, no security,"},{"startTime":1958.535,"endTime":1965.285,"body":"no energy to continue the podcast,"},{"startTime":1965.735,"endTime":1968.855,"body":"to the point where I literally"},{"startTime":1965.735,"endTime":1968.855,"body":"considered dropping it forever"},{"startTime":1968.855,"endTime":1970.085,"body":"because I was so burnt 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had"},{"startTime":2036.52,"endTime":2038.98,"body":"to find a way to literally survive."},{"startTime":2039.91,"endTime":2041.44,"body":"To be able to stay in San Diego,"},{"startTime":2043.84,"endTime":2048.43,"body":"and if it sounds dramatic, that's fine,"},{"startTime":2043.84,"endTime":2048.43,"body":"because it felt dramatic at the time."},{"startTime":2048.49,"endTime":2052.84,"body":"It felt like I was like rewiring my"},{"startTime":2048.49,"endTime":2052.84,"body":"brain in the moment out of necessity"},{"startTime":2054.1,"endTime":2062.92,"body":"and, um, I'm so grateful for that time"},{"startTime":2054.1,"endTime":2062.92,"body":"because I needed to check myself and my"},{"startTime":2062.92,"endTime":2067.96,"body":"baseline about what I saw as a good life."},{"startTime":2069.85,"endTime":2074.8,"body":"A good life doesn't have"},{"startTime":2069.85,"endTime":2074.8,"body":"to look so stunning."},{"startTime":2074.83,"endTime":2081.88,"body":"And so like, you know, 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new"},{"startTime":2106.45,"endTime":2115.18,"body":"coding languages and applying like insane,"},{"startTime":2115.18,"endTime":2120.73,"body":"like over like seven to 800 applications."},{"startTime":2120.82,"endTime":2121.51,"body":"Um."},{"startTime":2122.83,"endTime":2127.27,"body":"Before I finally got a job and all"},{"startTime":2122.83,"endTime":2127.27,"body":"these interviews and all these, you"},{"startTime":2127.27,"endTime":2132.7,"body":"know, highs and lows, and it just"},{"startTime":2127.27,"endTime":2132.7,"body":"was harder than the past couple times"},{"startTime":2132.7,"endTime":2137.2,"body":"I had looked for a job and I had"},{"startTime":2132.7,"endTime":2137.2,"body":"to really put more effort into it."},{"startTime":2137.44,"endTime":2141.759,"body":"Um, and I, I've shared a lot about that"},{"startTime":2137.44,"endTime":2141.759,"body":"on LinkedIn, if anyone's ever interested."},{"startTime":2143.14,"endTime":2148.6,"body":"Um, yeah, and I ended up getting"},{"startTime":2143.14,"endTime":2148.6,"body":"a job at Disney of all places,"},{"startTime":2148.6,"endTime":2150.7,"body":"which has been incredible so far."},{"startTime":2151.855,"endTime":2158.815,"body":"Um, but moving on to, um, I've talked"},{"startTime":2151.855,"endTime":2158.815,"body":"a little bit about how perspective"},{"startTime":2158.815,"endTime":2162.565,"body":"shifts were really valuable in"},{"startTime":2158.815,"endTime":2162.565,"body":"this chapter, but I'm gonna wrap"},{"startTime":2162.565,"endTime":2165.925,"body":"this up, um, by talking about,"},{"startTime":2167.965,"endTime":2171.745,"body":"uh, what a little bit about like"},{"startTime":2167.965,"endTime":2171.745,"body":"what I'm looking to call in in"},{"startTime":2171.745,"endTime":2177.865,"body":"the future and then why, why the"},{"startTime":2171.745,"endTime":2177.865,"body":"podcast is, um, is gonna keep going."},{"startTime":2180.19,"endTime":2180.85,"body":"So"},{"startTime":2184.18,"endTime":2190.99,"body":"when I'm looking to Collin,"},{"startTime":2184.18,"endTime":2190.99,"body":"um, yeah, I'm really excited"},{"startTime":2191.08,"endTime":2194.32,"body":"to keep living my life here."},{"startTime":2195.64,"endTime":2196.27,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":2199.93,"endTime":2201.01,"body":"it's been going"},{"startTime":2203.02,"endTime":2203.41,"body":"well"},{"startTime":2206.795,"endTime":2207.015,"body":"and."},{"startTime":2210.04,"endTime":2213.43,"body":"I don't really feel the need to say"},{"startTime":2210.04,"endTime":2213.43,"body":"anymore on that 'cause I, I think"},{"startTime":2213.43,"endTime":2217.12,"body":"it's just something I wanna keep"},{"startTime":2220.36,"endTime":2221.29,"body":"to myself."},{"startTime":2221.59,"endTime":2224.62,"body":"Um, but it's going well."},{"startTime":2226.93,"endTime":2228.85,"body":"And as for the podcast."},{"startTime":2244.905,"endTime":2246.285,"body":"I just think."},{"startTime":2249.21,"endTime":2252.54,"body":"It's so valuable to me"},{"startTime":2254.94,"endTime":2255.87,"body":"to"},{"startTime":2262.02,"endTime":2265.14,"body":"learn more about what is possible in life."},{"startTime":2265.35,"endTime":2272.07,"body":"I think for me, why this podcast"},{"startTime":2265.35,"endTime":2272.07,"body":"continues to align is because."},{"startTime":2274.725,"endTime":2277.515,"body":"It's like the podcast for generalists."},{"startTime":2277.695,"endTime":2278.505,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":2280.695,"endTime":2286.365,"body":"it's like we can be so much more"},{"startTime":2280.695,"endTime":2286.365,"body":"than like one little thing, like one"},{"startTime":2286.365,"endTime":2292.605,"body":"little skilled worker who's like,"},{"startTime":2286.365,"endTime":2292.605,"body":"you know, super skilled in one area."},{"startTime":2293.985,"endTime":2299.985,"body":"Um, I live my life by this"},{"startTime":2293.985,"endTime":2299.985,"body":"principle, which is just like."},{"startTime":2303.33,"endTime":2305.73,"body":"Do not tell me I cannot do that."},{"startTime":2306.24,"endTime":2306.93,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":2310.41,"endTime":2315.78,"body":"I will find a way to incorporate"},{"startTime":2310.41,"endTime":2315.78,"body":"the things that are valuable to me"},{"startTime":2315.78,"endTime":2317.37,"body":"or the things I'm curious about."},{"startTime":2319.17,"endTime":2325.02,"body":"And I really wanna know more"},{"startTime":2319.17,"endTime":2325.02,"body":"from people who do that."},{"startTime":2325.08,"endTime":2327.78,"body":"And I really wanna know"},{"startTime":2325.08,"endTime":2327.78,"body":"more from people who are."},{"startTime":2329.25,"endTime":2334.98,"body":"Pushing boundaries and"},{"startTime":2329.25,"endTime":2334.98,"body":"growing as people and"},{"startTime":2336.99,"endTime":2341.97,"body":"embracing their authenticity"},{"startTime":2336.99,"endTime":2341.97,"body":"and the unique value that they"},{"startTime":2341.97,"endTime":2343.77,"body":"are just by being themselves"},{"startTime":2346.95,"endTime":2351.54,"body":"and learning about themselves, who are"},{"startTime":2346.95,"endTime":2351.54,"body":"creating things, who are creating value."},{"startTime":2353.685,"endTime":2355.335,"body":"Who are touching people's lives."},{"startTime":2355.395,"endTime":2360.195,"body":"And like, it's just, there's so many"},{"startTime":2355.395,"endTime":2360.195,"body":"different examples of what that looks like"},{"startTime":2362.415,"endTime":2366.945,"body":"and like, that's cool to me."},{"startTime":2368.805,"endTime":2369.495,"body":"I like that."},{"startTime":2371.115,"endTime":2377.175,"body":"And um, yeah, I just think"},{"startTime":2371.115,"endTime":2377.175,"body":"like whoever you are, like."},{"startTime":2380.31,"endTime":2387.09,"body":"I don't know it, it can be beneficial to"},{"startTime":2380.31,"endTime":2387.09,"body":"hear stories about people who are just"},{"startTime":2389.22,"endTime":2395.1,"body":"breaking past mental, psychological"},{"startTime":2389.22,"endTime":2395.1,"body":"barriers to build a vision"},{"startTime":2395.1,"endTime":2396.33,"body":"that they have in their minds"},{"startTime":2396.96,"endTime":2399.78,"body":"Anyway, that's it for today."},{"startTime":2399.84,"endTime":2403.8,"body":"Thanks so much for tuning in, and"},{"startTime":2399.84,"endTime":2403.8,"body":"I'm looking forward to sharing more"},{"startTime":2403.8,"endTime":2405.84,"body":"lessons for more people in the future."},{"startTime":2406.5,"endTime":2407.16,"body":"XOXO."}]}