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The Wellness Connection with Fiona Kane
Real Conversations about things that Matter
All things life and health - physical health, nutrition, mindset, mental health, connection plus society and culture with Fiona Kane, experienced and qualified Nutritionist, Holistic Counsellor and Mind Body Eating Coach
Frank discussions about how to achieve physical and mental well being.
I talk about all things wellness including nutrition, exercise, physical and mental health, relationships, connections, grief, success and failure and much more.
Some episodes are my expertise as a nutritionist and holistic counsellor and some are me chatting to other experts or people with interesting health or life stories. My goal is to give you practical and useful info to improve your health and tidbits that you may find inspiring and that may start discussions within your circle of friend/family.
The Wellness Connection with Fiona Kane
Rental Family, Politics & Grievance Culture: A Deep Dive with Fiona Kane | Ep. 145
Join Fiona Kane on the Wellness Connection Podcast as she explores culture, politics, and personal growth. In this episode, Fiona shares her thoughts on the film Rental Family, discussing the fascinating culture clash in Japan and what we can learn from different perspectives.
She also dives into contemporary grievance and victimhood culture, exploring how our obsession with identity politics and grievance can affect mental health, personal purpose, and society at large. Fiona reflects on the importance of maintaining reality, self-awareness, and perspective while navigating both culture and politics.
Topics covered in this episode:
Brendan Fraser’s Rental Family: a look at honour, shame, and cultural differences
Grievance and victimhood culture: why it matters and how it affects us
Purpose, mental health, and avoiding the trap of “professional grievance”
Reflection on Australian history, politics, and societal narratives
🎧 Listen, reflect, and join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments—Fiona wants to know if she’s challenged your perspective!
Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share to help others find the podcast.
Outro: Music by Musinova from Pixabay
Learn more about booking a nutrition consultation with Fiona: https://informedhealth.com.au/
Learn more about Fiona's speaking and media services: https://fionakane.com.au/
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Hello, my name is Fiona Kane, and this is the Wellness Connection podcast. Today I'm going to be talking about some films that I've seen and some general things in society that I'm observing at the moment. So just a little bit of a general chat. The first thing I wanted to say is I've I saw the Whitlams with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra at the State Theatre on the weekend, got my feel of live music. That was brilliant. Love it. Really, really love the Whitlams. And whenever anyone hooks up with any of the symphony orchestras, it's always amazing. So really grateful to have been able to do that and go there and see that. That was amazing. Now the other thing I wanted to talk about, though, I wanted to talk about some films I've seen lately and some themes in some of the films I've seen. So the first one I wanted to talk about is Brendan Fraser's film, and it's called Rental Family. So essentially he's he plays a sort of out-of-work actor who's based in Japan. And um and ultimately he gets hired uh into a firm that rents out, so you you act for this firm, but you act more in a personal way, as in you might pretend to be. I'll give you an example. Uh so there was a girl who was going to her mother wanted to get her into a good school. She was a single mother, and apparently it works better for you if you've got a father in the picture. So this uh mother sort of rented him as the father of the little girl, so he could get they could get the girl into a school. So that kind of more personal thing to help people with different things in their culture. Now, um, because Japan is a very much a like a shame and honor-based culture, so it's really, really important there to maintain your honor. So I apparently I didn't know this, but apparently there are these firms in Japan who do hire out actors for roles like these to help people maintain their honour in challenging situations. And um, and it was a beautifully, beautiful film, really well done. And um, and yeah, Brendan Fraser is is fantastic, and so would the whole cast of the lovely other people in this film. It was really, really good. Uh, but what it really outlined to me was that whole, I suppose it's it's always good for us, especially in the Western world in particular, for us to look outside of our bubble and look at other people's cultures. Sometimes we look at other people's cultures with rose-colored glasses, and sometimes we look at them with judgmental glasses, and sometimes it's good to go somewhere in between and actually just see them for what they are. Uh, most cultures have good things and have bad things about them. So uh it's it's quite alright to see both. Um, and it's interesting just seeing this culture, culture clash there of him thinking that one thing is reasonable, it's reasonable to do this thing or that thing, and and that really affecting the Japanese people in a in a totally different way, and them seeing it totally in a total different way. Because of course, being American, um, it's all about, you know, you get to you have uh freedom and you get to choose what you want to do and all of these rights and blah, blah, blah. And that compared to uh the Japanese is a very, very different story. So it's just really, really interesting seeing that blend and that sort of what he thought was reasonable and what he thought was a good thing. They were horrified by uh and if not found to be illegal, some of the things he was doing. So it's this really, really interesting clash of cultures. And from from that point of view, it's really, really worth seeing. Um, so it helped him see, even though he'd been living in Japan, this character had been living in Japan for seven years, it helped him see the culture at a whole new level and get an understanding at a whole new level than what he had before. Uh, but it also allowed the people he was working with maybe to get an insight into American culture more as well by his response to things. So yeah, I just thought it was a really, really interesting film, and it's really interesting to see how um how different cultures view different things. And I think previously I talked about the fact that you know some cultures have more of a shame culture, and in the Western world, we don't really have shame much at all anymore. And I don't think that's a good thing. I don't think we want an extreme shame culture, but no shame. The other end of the spectrum isn't always a good thing either. So sometimes it's it's all about the balance. So anyway, I thought that that was really well done film, um, really enjoyable, you know, like like there's funny moments, but also some really sad moments as well. But um, but overall, uh really enjoyable, really made me think, but also it's just a very human film about human beings and and uh and how they manage the world and how different cultures do it in different ways. So well worth watching. I really enjoyed it. So um, so that was uh what did I say that film was called again, Rental Family. So I highly recommend that. So the other film I saw one is probably a bit more controversial, but that's all right. I I've never shared, I don't shy away from controversial topics, especially now. I'm just go for the whole point of this is to have real conversations about things that matter, and that's what I'm doing. So the film I'm going to talk about now is actually the new film by Pauline Hansen, who, if anyone's just not in Australia, she's an Australian politician who, well, they call her far right wing, but she's not. She's just the thing is in the world at the moment, anyone who is not Lenin or Marx is is classed as far right. So anything further right than extreme left is classed as far right. But anyway, she's much more on the right, though, that's for sure. Uh, and um anyway, it's a film that um was brought out uh by her, and um and it's a sort of like a cartoon type film, and um so uh it's uh it's kind of an expansion. She had a cartoon series called Please Explain, which was quite funny. So this is called a super progressive movie, and uh and it's I suppose if you know anything about Australian politics, you would find it funny or interesting, and not even just Australian politics, but just the general kind of woke versus anti-woke worldviews. So it's an interesting, um, interesting concept. Anyway, whether or not whatever you do or don't think of Pauline, whatever you do or don't think of her party or her politics, the theme in the film that I found really interesting and was I thought was worth discussing is essentially what she's doing is she's talking about so in the film Australia's this this this dystopia in Australia where we're completely super woke and super progressive. And um, and there's a theme in that where she talks about this thing called the the cape of victimhood or the hood of victimhood. I can't remember the exact languaging, but it's the cape cape of victimhood. And essentially the cape of victimhood is this thing that you get to wear, and when you get to wear it, it protects you from any criticism. You cannot criticize the person who has the cape of victimhood on, and um, and so you're right about everything, and and you kind of get worshipped and you cannot be questioned about anything, and that's kind of I suppose further on from what I was talking about last week, in regards to the whole uh everyone's even a oppressor or they're oppressed. So essentially, a cape of victimhood gets to be worn by the people who are deigned to be oppressed, and um, and you know, and so they can do no wrong once you get that victimhood cape. You can do it no wrong, you're perfect, you're wonderful. And um, and what her the and but what the film ultimately showed is that that cape might seem like a good thing at this at the time because you get all this power and all these people love you and it's fantastic, uh, but it actually just saps the life out of you as well, which is kind of what victimhood culture does. I think when we when we when we celebrate victimhood, when we celebrate and feed and and and love on victimhood, that is not good for anyone involved. And also when we when we like I was saying before, when we look at either a culture or a person or a religion or a whatever, but just uh we look at a a group or another person that might be different to you in some way. But when we look at, or it might be your culture, it could be yours as well, but when we look at something like that or religion or whatever it is, and we deify it, or we say, oh, that one, they the right that's the right one, that's the one that you can't question, that's the one that's perfect. And like we'll look at cultures through uh, you know, rose color glasses. And I suppose what I mean by that is if you we've just had Australia Day here in um in January, the end of January, and there's always this sort of typical backlash every year. Although I find it's it's less and less, I think a lot of people are just said, nope, we're Australian, we can celebrate being Australia, that's fine, which is fine by me. But what I find is that uh what we've done in the West is in general in the West, what we've done is we've said every part of our history is evil and bad and wrong. Everything we do is evil and bad and wrong. And every every other culture, any of the cultures that we deem to be oppressed, right? So whatever fits into the super super progressive, uh, you know, oppressed category, those are all looked at through rose-tinted glasses as being wonderful and perfect. And of course that's ridiculous, and of course that's not helpful. But the the truth is that we actually need to look at all cultures and all everything the same way through just reality, right? So all religions have their drawbacks and have their positives, all cultures have their drawbacks and positives. All history, look back at all of history, everyone's history, whatever, wherever they've come from, there's going to be things in that history of that those people that are not so good, or choices that they've made, or individuals, there's going to be things that we've done that are not so good, things we've done that are good. And when we only choose to look at one side or the other, we're just not being realistic. And so when you choose to sort of uh put one group in the untouchable, you know, cloak of victimhood status so that they are untouchable, and you can't say anything bad about them, and you can't pick on them, and you can't laugh at them, and you certainly can't question anything they do because it's all wonderful. And then you choose whoever the uh the uh oppressors are, and the oppressors you can laugh at them and you can pick on them and and and basically put down all of their culture. That's the kind of stuff that's happening in the world at the moment. And look, maybe you could argue it was uh the other way around at some point, and yeah, that's probably true in a lot of ways. However, it's just not useful to play these games. And I think that we've got to a point now where, you know, it's 2026, haven't we got to a point now where we can say, okay, we can tell the truth about all of our cultures, we can tell the truth about all of our history, and the truth means acknowledging the thing, the things that we got wrong, acknowledging the bad things, acknowledging evil where it existed, all of the things that have happened in history that you know we could have done better or that we should have done better, or we did very, very poorly, but also acknowledge all of the things we've achieved and all of the wonderful thing and wonderful things we've done in our culture. Why we can't just do that for every culture? It's ridiculous, right? So we just need to be able to do that for everyone. So while it's while it's right and and fine and and a good thing for, say, Australia to accept our past, we need to accept all of it and we need to honor it, and we also need to uh need to celebrate some of it as well and celebrate how far we've come and what we've learned and how we've grown. And uh, but the problem with this grievance culture is it just wants us to stay forever and ever and ever in this you know cloak of victimhood thing where we just hate on ourselves and uh and and you know and love on the victim class and full stop. It doesn't achieve anything, it doesn't get anyone anywhere because that victimhood cloak literally does suck the life out of the person who's wearing it. And you know, it comes back to that thing that I, you know, I've talked about here many times, and I think I talked about it last week as well. But we take away people's agency when we put them in a victim class. Once we decide that you are the perennial victim and that you have to just accept victimhood, and and and we've decided as a society that you know you need us to save you because you're a victim and your life is so bad and it can never be okay unless we tick this box or do this thing or say this thing or someone affirms you in a certain way, or unless you know, all the people who are of the oppressor culture, you know, bow down and apologize forever and all that sort of stuff. Just it doesn't work, it doesn't help anyone ultimately. And um actually the other thing that I've been reading at the moment, I'm still reading it, um, is Tony Abbott's latest book. Um, I'm trying to remember what it's called now, but um, but Tony Abbott has a book. Um, I'll look it up while I'm talking too. But Tony Abbott has a new book about Australian history, and it's actually really good for exactly that reason because what he's doing in this book is he's actually just talking about the truth. This is the true history of Australia. These are the things that we did really badly, these are the things that we did really well, these are the things that we can celebrate, and um, so it's called Australia a history. There you go, Australia history. And there's actually there's a TV series uh attached to it as well. Really, really good because uh again, it's not about denying anything bad that's ever happened, it's absolutely not. Uh, however, at some point we need to make a choice to, you know, people always talking about um healing and and um and joining together and and all of those things. But all I see is identity politics that's there just to divide everybody. So if we want to come together and we want to heal, a lot of that's got to be, yeah, you know, some really bad things have happened in the world, and these are the things that we own that we did that are part of our culture and part of our history, but these are all the great things we've done, and let's let's just move forward together. And I think every culture around the world will benefit from doing that, but particularly Western cultures, because we're basically um we're killing ourselves, we really are, we're destroying our own culture uh by being ashamed, totally ashamed of everything about our history and our culture, and uh and telling and trying to create victims wherever we find them and trying to be the saviors for all these victims as well. Uh, so it's messed up stuff, and you know, like I said, I've said before, it's interesting when you look at um whether it be charities or political groups or lobbyists, uh, all different people who who benefit from grievance, who benefit from having someone to fight for, they all lose, whether it be votes or purpose or income or all of those things. Think of how much they all lose when that thing gets fixed, and that makes you understand why a lot of things just won't ever get fixed. Uh, they're just not going to fix a whole bunch of stuff because it's where they make too much money out of not fixing it and fighting for it, or they feel good about themselves because they get to fight for it and feel so heroic that they're fighting for this thing. Uh, and a lot of the things that we're fighting for in our Western society at the moment are made-up things, they're made up things that aren't there, or they're completely back-to-front made-up things. And so we feel so important. I saw uh there was an article I just saw today of a young woman who said that uh, and she was based in the US, and at the moment in the US, in um in Minnesota, they've got all of this fighting against ice. And you know, that's a whole other kettle of fish, uh, the US politics. But ice basically are the people who deport people, and but that's not just deporting people because what they're doing is they're they deal with sex traffickers and and and drug traffickers and all of that sort of stuff. So they're just dealing with all those kinds of things. And these uh bunch of protesters and sort of Hollywood actors and stuff. Honestly, the longer I live, the more, the more disappointing, oh Bruce Springsteen, the more disappointed I am with these idiots who are so far up their ass that they they live in these big mansions behind big gated fences with permanent security, and they're so far up their ass they think they're wonderful. And the sort of crap that they come out with is ridiculous. Uh, you know, again, they're not they're not fighting. 35,000 people have died in Iran. Uh, and um they're not fighting for those people, but they're fighting for the people who deliberately go out on the street and go up against, physically go up against uh against uh law enforcement. Now, deaths are tragedies when they happen, and I'm not glorifying in any way the deaths of the people involved here, but there's a difference between people fighting for their lives in Iran just to so they can have freedom and people deliberately driving their car in front of ice cars and trying to cut them off and trying to confront them and all that sort of stuff. Anyways, there's this woman uh who is one of the protesters over there, she said, Oh, I I can't have children now, and I was going to start a business this year, but I can't do that because now I'm gonna have to fight and save all of the all of the uh, you know, what who's she gonna save? Is she gonna save all of the sex traffickers and drug traffickers? That's who she wants to save. Uh but you know, sure, Jan. Maybe you just didn't have much going in your life, and this makes you feel important, and that's what so much of it is. So much of it is I don't feel important, I don't have purpose because we haven't gone out in the world and created purpose for ourselves. And someone comes along and says, Oh, you're saving all the poor, you know, insert victim group. You're saving this victim group from this insert bully, insert uh oppressor. And once you've got that fixed in place and someone tells you, oh, now I get to be a good, I get to be a good person, I get to go out and save people, I get to put on my cape and go out and be the savior for this victim class. Oh, aren't I wonderful? Purpose for living. Why would why wouldn't you want it that purpose rather than the purpose of actually trying to the hard the hard yards of starting a business or having a child, right? You know, I get it. It's attractive that you just get to be special and important and and such a good person and so morally worthy and so wonderful, and you're just saving the world, aren't you? You know, what could be better than that, right? And that's exactly what people are doing. They've done it with their environmental cause for years. All the women who wouldn't have children because the world was about to end, uh, you know, uh we see it all the time, mental, mentally ill, right? So getting back to what I was talking about before is you know, we something I've talked about before in previous episodes is I've talked about forging your identity, forging who you are, going out and becoming the person you're meant to be, and finding purpose. And purpose actually, more often than not, comes from things like having a job or starting a business or doing a course, it comes from having, you know, having family, having children, all of those things. Now, I'm not saying it can't and doesn't come from activism or um politics or those sorts of things, because I get energy from those things as well. So I'm not sort of saying that anyone who gets energy from those things or gets really into those things is wrong or bad or whatever. But what I am saying is that the people who there's many people who do that now, this grievance politics, they're just professional grievance complainers who get to go around and protest about everything. Many of those people, in my opinion, they got nothing going on, and it's the only thing they can do that makes them feel worthwhile or important. And I think that's sad. Uh, if it's, you know, when it's you're really fighting for something real, that's one thing, but when it's not a real thing, but it's pretty, you know, I don't have to go and do life now because I've got to go and save the world. Yay me, you know. There's do you see what I get? I I don't know, um if I'm making sense or not. I'd love to hear your feedback if you think I'm making sense with this. But there's a distinction, and there's a distinction between I'm gonna do this thing because I think it's the right thing to do, um, and I'm gonna do this thing uh that is instead of having a life, uh they're very different things, they're very different things, and there's a very different, there's different energies behind it. Because there's the energy of I truly believe this is a this is wrong, and this and I need to help the world and I want to make a difference. There's a very I don't know, there's a very different energy around. That and wanting to do that and being well intentioned with that, and being absolutely brainwashed and unable to think for yourself, and just being told that this is the victim and this is the oppressor, and go and hold up your placard, and it's as much more important than having your own life. I know that I just think there's people who avoid life and just get to be angry all the time. Uh, and look, and probably on both sides, I'm not saying it's like a one-side thing either. I'm not saying that all people who are left are bad and all people who are right are good or anything like that. Not saying that at all. But just interesting at the moment, right now, looking at people in looking at politics, looking at the world, looking at mental health issues, particularly in young people. Uh there's a lot of mentally ill people out there who are serial protesters, and um, they very much correlate together. And I think it's because people need purpose. Human beings, we need purpose. And I think that's essentially like I talked about a little a while ago. I talked about my choice, but not choice, because ultimately I wasn't able to have children, and um I didn't have children, and it was not something I ultimately was able to do. And I know I accept that, and you know, it's it's it's okay, not all of us are meant to have children. But I really do feel that if you can have like uh children or if you can have people in your life that you care for, like I've cared a lot for parents and and other people in my life, but when we have purpose in our life, it can make a really big difference to how we feel about ourselves, and then if you can add to that, like for myself, where it's been a you know, certain point, a certain amount of your career or your um work that you feel good about, that you feel uh accomplished accomplished in, all of those things can make a difference, and also being able to be in a healthy, healthy long-term relationship as well. All of those things are a really important part of I think um having a good life. And uh, think when we when we don't have those things, I think sometimes we look for something to fill that hole, and what we choose to fill that hole with doesn't always fill us up. And in some cases, you know, there are people who are, you know, Rosie O'Donnell's one of them who are seeing therapists because of their Trump derangement syndrome, and because they can't think of anything else and they can't sleep and they can't live and they have to leave the country because they feel unsafe. Now, again, I've talked about this before. You might hate Trump, you might love Trump, you might be somewhere in the middle of the fine, whatever, however you feel, that's fine. But it's one thing to just dislike a person or dislike his policies or say you could do that better, but he did that terribly, fine. And be able to sleep at night. It's a whole other thing to have this level of Trump derangement syndrome where it's all you thought, think about, and you've got to have therapy. And it's gonna have therapy because it was an imagined thing. Like as if Rosie O'Donnell and her non-binary child were more were in danger in the US. They weren't in danger in the US, but they had to move to where do they move to? I think they're in Ireland. Um, you know, because they're in danger in the air. Same as like Ellen and her her girlfriend had to move to the UK because you know, they're in danger in the you know, you're not in danger for being gay or for whatever it is. How ridiculous is that? And that's the thing that like making up stories, it's one thing you can, like I said, you hate Trump, love Trump, whatever. You can hate politicians or dislike them and vote for them, vote against them. You can uh you can um march or or uh protest about whoever or whatever. Fair enough, great, you know. But just be aware of if it's affecting your mental health and your ability to function and your happiness and your life, and if you're creating stories like the people who are unsafe to be gay are the people living in places like Iran, right? Not the people living in the US or in Australia or don't make up stories to that that just um that they there's some of those on the street interviews I saw a few weeks ago, actually, it was just in the last week or so, and they were interviewing these young American women and saying to them, you know, where who are they safer? Where would they be safer as as young women? Where would they have a better life in the US or in Iran? And you know, they they all almost all of them said Iran. They actually thought their life would be better in Iran because they've got no rights in America. Not any rights taken off them, um, but they've got no rights in America. You know, it's amazing the story we can tell ourselves. So look, I think I'll leave it there with just saying, so I've watched some interesting things. I think they're all worth uh watching and listening to. Uh, Tony Abbott's book is worth listening to or reading. I think it's politics is an interesting thing, and like I'm passionate about politics. I have strong opinions. Am I right and wrong about some things, right about some things? We're all wrong and right about some things. It's fine. And I think it's okay to have these conversations. And one of the reasons I'm saying these things is because I think we've got to have these conversations. It's okay. I'm not evil and bad for any opinions I have, and you're not evil and bad for whatever opinions you have. Um, you know, my none of my opinions are going out and kill people or anything like that. They're just, hey, we've got different ways of looking at things. But I think that um be aware that maintaining a good mental health requires trying to be in reality somewhere. And if you find you're getting too caught up one way or the other, uh just you know, go and chill, get away from politics for a while, get away from your device for a while, get away from social media for a while, but also be prepared to if if look if I've said things that you find challenging, well, rather than kind of just going, oh, well, I'm just gonna shut that down, let yourself be challenged, right? I I let myself be challenged. I listen to podcasts and watch things on uh that that I disagree with all the time, and I watch them or listen to them just to see, just to kind of check myself to go, okay, am I do I understand what the other side is thinking? Do I understand what they're what they're thinking, why they're thinking it? And is is where's where's the evidence and why do I think what I think? So I like essentially question why I think this way and why I think this thing, and why and sometimes, you know, that allows me to shift a bit. Sometimes sometimes it just helps me be a bit more kind and caring about the per the person with a different opinion, whatever it is. But you know, if you feel a bit challenged by hearing something that's different to what you normally hear in your echo chamber, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Uh be let yourself be challenged. It doesn't mean you have to change your mind about stuff. We we all have a right to believe whatever we believe, but let yourself be challenged a bit. I think it's healthy for all of us to let ourselves be challenged a bit because when we question why we think the way we do, and is it my opinion, or is it just did I just get it by osmosis by through social media, through my friend group, through my television, through my work group, whatever? Just pay attention to that sort of stuff. Where do you believe the thing that you think you believe? And if you if you do, why, where's your evidence? Um, and then if you've got evidence, great. And then is it something that's so big that you've got to put your life on hold, or that you've got to uh you know, see a therapist because you can't sleep, because you don't like a politician, or is it something that you can go and you know vote and do the things you want to do, but then you can get go and have your life as well, right? So it's you know, I suppose this has just turned into a look at how we look at politics and how we look at ourselves and how we manage our mental health around that. But I think it's a good idea for all of us to remember to do that. Remember to challenge yourself, remember to find out what the other side think uh you might learn something uh and um be okay with being challenged. It's actually healthy. Uh, we used to actually have political conversations and we used to have debates, and it was healthy to do so, but now what we just do is we try and shut down the other side. On both sides, this happens, so I'm not saying one person does it and the other person doesn't. Uh, but we try and shut down the other side, or we say, Oh, I don't have to listen to that person because that person's a far right wing or a far left wing or a blah, blah, blah, insert, whatever, uh, insult. So, yeah, I don't I got here somehow. I don't quite know how I got here. But anyway, uh look, I'd like to hear your feedback on the films I'm talking about, on the um ideas I'm talking about, and am I challenged, have I challenged you in something or have I not? Do you agree with me? I don't know. Fine. Uh again, I like to have conversation. This is about real conversations. Um, not a place to abuse each other, but a place just to have real conversations. So I'd like to have your feedback. Please remember to like, subscribe, share, and all that jazz. Uh that's how other people find out about my podcast. And I hope you have a great week and I will talk to you next time. Thank you. Bye bye.
