59: Is the grass always greener abroad or not?

Have you ever wondered if moving abroad will actually make you happier—or if you’re just imagining it? 🤔 I’m talking about a mindset that keeps so many people from making the leap: “the grass is always greener on the other side.”

Here’s what we’ll cover:

• What the "Grass is Greener" Mentality Means: Why fear and doubt hold us back.
• How This Mindset Keeps You Stuck: From decision paralysis to imposter syndrome.
• Why It’s Not About Greener Grass: Moving abroad isn’t about escaping; it’s about trying something new.
• Steps to Move Past Doubt: Know your reasons, research, and take small steps.
• Stories from Real People: What they learned by taking the leap.

Listen to the episode to feel encouraged! 

👉Take the free quiz: Which European city should you move to? 🤔

Grab my free guide: 5 Exact Steps to Move Abroad

Website: jordangiberson.com
Instagram: @jordan.giberson

Transcript

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It's easier to just stay in the place of comfort. Our brains are wired to keep us safe and to keep us comfortable, not from achieving, the things that will make us happiest and the most fulfilled. We have to take risks in life in order to fill that way Hey, my name is Jordan Giberson. I'm a Texas girl living and thriving in London. The best thing I've ever done? Moving abroad, hands down. And I'm passionate about helping others do the same. Are you curious about finding a job abroad? You're in the right place, friend. I'll teach you the tried and true secrets of how to make moving abroad a reality for you and how to live a fulfilling life once you get there. We'll cover topics like choosing the best visa for you, how to get a job offer in another country, how to get over your fear of moving abroad, and how to live a life you love once you get there, this is The Move Abroad Podcast. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the move abroad podcast. Before we get started with today's episode, I wanted to ask you, do you know of someone who wants to move abroad, someone in your direct network that you feel like you've heard about talking. About moving abroad somewhere. Well, if that's the case, I would love it. If you would share this podcast episode with them or just the podcast in general, it just helps me be able to reach more people. But with that behind us, we'll go ahead and get started with today's episode. So today we're talking about the grass is always greener whenever it comes to moving abroad and just this, mentality in general. So I think that this mindset hurdle, it really keeps a lot of people from chasing their dreams of moving abroad. So if you've ever thought, what if moving abroad doesn't actually make me happier? What if I'm just romanticizing it? You know, thinking of the grass is always greener on the other side, then this episode is for you. So the first thing that we're going to discuss is just understanding the grass is always greener mentality. So we'll start just by unpacking this phrase. So whenever we say the grass is always greener on the other side, it usually is a way of questioning whether what we want is actually better than what we already have. So it's a mindset that is really rooted in fear and doubt. So it's, you know, fear of the unknown fear of potential regrets, and even just potential of, you know, a fear of failure in general. So here's the thing staying where you are just because it feels safer can feel like it's less risky than actually taking the leap and moving forward and actually moving abroad. But I'd say that regret over trying. But, hear me out. I feel like regret over not trying is often heavier. Then regrets over trying something new and finding out it's not for you. I'm going to say that one more time. The regret over not trying is often heavier than the regrets over trying something new and finding out it's not for you. Hence, it's actually, you're going to feel a lot more regret by not actually trying something, especially if it's a dream that you have and not going for it. And just staying where you're at. That regret is going to cost you more. And it's going to feel a lot heavier than the regret of saying yes. I actually tried something that I really wanted and it really didn't work out for me. I totally believe in this. I feel like that's a great reminder for all of us in general, but especially for just wanting to move abroad in general, I feel like that's a really good reminder. So I feel like it's good to ask yourself. This is the fear of being wrong about moving abroad stronger than your excitement, about the possibility of being right. That's a question only you can answer really, but we're going to break it down today. So here are some reasons why the grass is always greener. Mentality is going to stop you. So how does this mindset keep you stuck? I'd say number one, it creates decision paralysis. Whenever you're constantly wondering if your dream is just about a fantasy, if it's not realistic for you, it can make you feel like you're going to hesitate indefinitely, which is decision paralysis. You're stuck in the, what if mode instead of just taking action and figuring it out as you go along. So I'd say that's the number one biggest mentality that stopping you in terms of the grass is always greener. This, you know, decision paralysis, which is you have so many decisions that you can't make up to decision because you keep thinking about it and you keep thinking about, so you don't make the decision and it's kind of like this cycle. The second thing that I'd say is keeping you in this mentality of the grass is always greener. Is that it can potentially fuel your imposter syndrome. So thoughts, like who am I to live in another country? Who am I to actually do that? Like, I'm not, you know, That type of person that could do that. Like I might not be good enough or you have this vision of what that person looks like. That's actually moving abroad and maybe you feel like you're not good enough, or you feel like, you know, that's basically what imposter syndrome is. So it's rooted in this belief that the dream might be too big for you and spoiler. It's not, it's not too big for you. So don't fall prey to imposter syndrome because the stream is not too big for you. Don't think about, you know, who am I to live in another country. It is absolutely for you. If it's something that you want, you can make it happen and it might not look exactly how you want it to look at first, you might have to take a route to be able to move abroad. That's not exactly the route that you would want to take, but you can eventually once you get there, you can, you know, shift and get into be your dream job or, you know, Dream and come or dream city or whatever that looks like. But you definitely, definitely can make it happen for you. I'd say the third mentality block, that's kind of keeping in this grass is always greener on the other side mentality, is that it kind of reinforces the status quo. So what I mean by that is whenever you doubt the value of change, it's easier to justify staying where you are, even if you're unhappy or unfulfilled. Familiarity feels comfortable, even whenever it's not what you really, really want. It's easier to just stay in the place of comfort. Our brains are wired to keep us safe and to keep us comfortable, not from achieving, the things that will make us happiest and the most fulfilled. We have to take risks in life in order to fill that way. So I'd say that's the third mentality that's stopping you in terms of the grass is always greener. And I feel like the fourth mentality that stopping you from moving abroad and keeping you in this, you know, the grass is always greener on the other side. Is the feeling that you feel like you need to be grateful for what you have? I feel like whenever I was wanting to move abroad, I feel like a lot of people were, kind of giving me this reason of saying, aren't you grateful for the things that you have or isn't what you have great. Like, why are you saying that this isn't good enough. It's not good enough for you. And even if they weren't saying those exact words, I feel like that was a little bit of a mentality of feeling like, why isn't this good enough for you? And even now, whenever I've lived abroad for so many years, I still have people saying. Why wasn't Texas good enough for you. Why wasn't the U.S good enough for you? So I feel like this mentality also keeps us in the situation that we're at, just in life in general, but I feel like, especially for moving abroad as well, people are like, oh, why would you ever want to leave the United States? It's the best place in the world. And specifically Texas, they were like, Texas is the best place. Such a great job market. Like, you know, I feel like everyone is just so proud to be from Texas. There's just a lot of, you know, people are very proud to be from there. And so whenever you're like, actually I want to be somewhere else and not even in the U.S and another country, I feel like people react a bit more negatively perhaps. So yeah, I feel like that's the biggest reason why. For me, I felt like the grass is always greener because people are like, why would you want to leave whenever what you have is so great, you should really be grateful for what you have. So I feel like that's another thing, but I don't think that's true at all. I think you know, I love Texas. I love the United States and I think it's a lovely place. And even, you know, it has its downfalls justice. Every single place does no place is ever going to be perfect at all. But I feel like this mentality of being grateful. He keeps us in this, you know, oh, the grass is always greener. Like, you know, you're just envisioning it's going to look a certain way and you're romanticizing it, but it's not going to be as good as what you think it's going to be. And I actually don't think that's true. I think, yes, you can romanticize it a little bit. And yes, it's not going to look exactly like, it felt like whenever you're on vacation, because you're on vacation mode, you're not working. You don't have the daily. You know, normal life stresses of doing laundry or reminding yourself to pay that bill or, you know, remembering you have to return that thing that you order on Amazon or whatever it is, you know, you just have the normal life. You know, just doing life, you know, being an adult. But I feel like that's, you know, that's gonna happen no matter where you're at, but I think, you know, London has been so much better than I ever could have imagined. Just living abroad in general has been just so much better than I actually thought it was going to be. So, you know, the grass, it's a little bit greener. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trying to convince you to move abroad. You obviously have to make your own decisions for your own life, but I genuinely do feel like London is a better fit for me. And I'm actually happier here and more fulfilled. So for me, if I were to remind myself and feel like the grass is always greener and I just stayed in that mentality, still living in the U.S then I'd still be living there. You know, I'd still be living in the west, thinking the grass is always greener. Like it's not going to be as good as I think it's going to be. You know, I should just be grateful for what I have, because this is a really great place to live. And while that's true, you know, I had that dream of moving abroad and I had to get over those fears and say, you know what? The grass might be greener on the other side, but I'm not going to know until I find out. And that goes back to that thing that I mentioned earlier about regret over not trying is often a heavier regret than the regret that you'll have by not trying to move abroad and find out whether it's for you or not. And more than likely, I feel like you actually will probably love it once you're there. And I have story after story about that, but anyways, we'll go ahead and we'll go ahead and move forward to the next section. So just as a quick recap, so the reasons why the grass is always greener mentality stopping you is because one, it creates decision paralysis. Two, it fuels that imposter syndrome that you might be having thoughts of, you know, who am I to live in another country. And the third thing is that it, you know, reinforces the status quo and four, it makes you feel like you're not being grateful for what you have. So as we've been talking about a little bit already, I'd say we really have to challenge this myth that the grass is always greener. So let's bust the myth that moving abroad is all about chasing greener grass and quotes. So yes, life abroad might look different than you imagine. It will have its challenges, just like we would talked about, you know, you're still living life. You're still need to do laundry. You still are gonna have challenges that you face in life in general, moving to a different place, and then going to solve all the problems you have in your life. But does that mean that it's not worth pursuing? Absolutely not. Moving abroad isn't about escaping your current life or expecting perfection on the other side, it's about growth. It's about exploration. It's about experiencing life. In a way that aligns with your values and your dreams. You know, for an example, if you're tired of the nine to five grind and dreaming of a slower paced city, like Lisbon, it's not about greener grass. It's about aligning your lifestyle with your priorities. So if you're in a nine to five grind in a big city in the United States, and it's a big city and you're just going into the suburbs and you're just not enjoying that lifestyle and you're wanting to move abroad to Lisbon, to live in the city center in a place that has a very relaxed environment that, you know, has the portuguese lifestyle and you're close to the beach and you're going to actually do freelance work for a little bit. Then it's more about aligning to your lifestyle, and the priorities that you want in your life to be able to travel from Lisbon and to have just a different lifestyle. So I wouldn't say that that's, you know, the grass is always green and that's kind of aligning your lifestyle to your priorities and experiencing life in a way that aligns to your values and dreams. Like we had said, so you're not expecting perfection once you're there, but. You know, you're not trying to necessarily escape your current life, but you also are trying to grow and explore and experience a different type of lifestyle. So that's what I mean by that. So will there be tough days? Yes, of course, because that's just life. So, yeah, it's not going to be perfect and you're going to have tough days. But there will also be moments where you are going to think this is exactly why I took the leap. This is amazing. I'm living my best life. I had always wanted to move abroad and here I am. And then I'd say some practical tips to move past the doubt. So how do you move beyond the grass is always greener mindset. I'd say number one, get clear on your, why, why do you want to move abroad? What is motivating you when your reasons are strong. Than your doubts have less power over you. So I'd say get clear on your why, and if you can even write it down somewhere where you can see it. Whether it be in your notes, on your phone, if you're writing on a sticky note or wherever you're putting it, just to remind yourself of your, why. So that when people are telling you, you need to be grateful for what you have, then you can run yourself of your, why. Why are wanting to move and the feeling that you're looking for, and, you know, you want to chase your dream and you've had this desire for a long time and you're one adventure. You've been wanting to travel across Europe for a long time and just to have a home base, but be able to have freedom to travel and, you know, remind yourself of those reasons or whether it's for the lifestyle or for political reasons or for safety reasons or just whatever it is for growth or, you know, name your reason. Put your why on a piece of paper in your notes, wherever he wants to put it so that you can remind yourself whenever you're questioning, you know, is the grass always greener on the other side? So you can remind yourself of your why. So number one, get clear on your why. Number two, research realistically. So I'd say, you know, romanticizing life abroad can set you up for disappointment, but realistic research can prepare you for the challenges that will make you feel confident in your decision. You can do things like listen to other ex-pats stories, you can visit the potential cities that you want to move to. And just try to understand the lifestyle by, you know, you could look on social media, you can try chatting with people. You can, you know, message people on LinkedIn. You can message people on Instagram. You can just read on Facebook groups, on just online forums. Just different ways to kind of research what life might look like. But one thing that I would be careful of is I feel like whenever I was looking into moving abroad to London, I think a lot of people are quite pessimistic about life. And I don't necessarily have that mentality. I am a realistic person. I'm definitely realistic, but I also am very positive. I feel like overall. And I remember whenever I was thinking about moving to London, I would read online forums and people were so pessimistic and were so negative. And it kind of always left me just feeling this, like heaviness sort of in my chest of just like anxiety of like, oh, am I just really thinking it's going to look a certain way and it's just not true. Or, you know, am I romanticizing what my life could look like there? And I do think that potentially, you know, just looking at the beautiful photos of what it would look like and, you know, romanticizing, it could set you up for disappointment. Yes. But I actually, I guess it's just a balance, you know, you want to research and be realistic about what your life is going to look like. You know, you're not going to be moving there and a huge mansion and center of town and have a driver that's in a black cab in London, taking you to where you're going. Going like, no, you might be getting on a bus. You might need to move a bit farther out of London so you could afford a place to live. So just different things like that. For example, you know, it's not going to maybe look exactly like you want it to look, but I also feel like, like I said earlier, I feel like my life here is actually so much better than I ever envisioned that it was going to be. I feel like it's actually surpassed all of the ways that I thought my life would look like. So I'd just say, do your research and research realistically, but also I think it's okay to be positive. And I don't think that you need to subscribe to all of the negative things that other people are saying whenever they complain about buses or the cost of things or whatever, you know, as you think that a lot of people are quite negative in life. So I would say, you know, do your research and be realistic about things. But also don't let people tear you down and just think that everything is terrible because I feel like people just have quite a negative. You know, Thought process about life in general sometimes, which is quite sad. So don't fall prey to that, but also be realistic in your research about what life could look like. So number three would be focusing on growth and not perfection when it comes to the practical tips of moving past, you know, the doubt of, you know, the grass is always greener. So I'd say focusing on growth and not perfection, you can be asking yourself, will this be better? So, instead of asking yourself, will this be better ask, will this help me grow? Growth is always worth the risk. And I think if you're focusing on growth and just taking the step to move forward and to be better and to just say, yes, I did it. And not on perfection of your life has to look absolutely perfect. Whenever you move abroad. I think at that, it can help you kind of get past that doubt of the grass is always greener. So focusing on growth and not on perfection, and that I'd say that tip number four would be take small steps. You don't have to move abroad tomorrow. You can start with a trip. You can just learn, start learning the language, or you can talk to someone who's already done it to get a better idea of what life looks like. You can do research on what it would look like to move abroad. I'd say the best steps to be able to start moving abroad is to one decide where you're going to move abroad to, and number two, decide which visa you're going to get, because I think that that's great progress and progress, build confidence. So I'd say those would be the best first steps. If you actually want a bit more guidance on the exact steps to move abroad, actually have a free guide called the five exact steps to move abroad. So if you want to check that out again, it's Jordangiberson.com/guide. You can find the free download there. So if you're interested in the exact steps to move abroad, then that's where you can go to. But yeah, just say, take small steps. You don't have to move abroad tomorrow. It's just taking one step at a time. And I think making those two key decisions of deciding where you want to move to and which visa you're going to get will really set you up for success and will help you kind of just start taking those baby steps because once you've made those decisions, then it's a lot easier to start taking the next step and the next step and the next step. So those are your first two decisions, so, okay. Tip number five, in terms of the practical tips to move past your doubt of thinking, you know, the grass might be greener mindset would be to trust your intuition deep down, you know, whether this is something you truly want. Listen to that voice. If you know, something that you want, if you know that you're going to regret not moving abroad, then listen to your intuition. I remember talking to a couple people one time. Pretty recently, I was talking to a couple of guys and both of them said that they wanted to move abroad. And I was chatting with one of them and I said, okay. Let's be honest with ourselves. If you did not move abroad, later in life, let's say you're 56 years old and you think back and you say, ah, it didn't move abroad. Would you regret it? Would you feel a sense of regret that you didn't move abroad and that you didn't try it? And he was like, Honestly, no, I don't think that I'd regret it. I think I want to do it, but I don't think that I'd feel regretful if not doing it. And then I asked the same question to the other guy. I said, would you regret it? If you didn't move abroad, if you got later on in life, like, would you feel that sense of regret? And he was like, I would, I would feel regretful if I didn't do it. And then he started actually taking steps to do it. You know, we've been chatting a little bit since then. So I do think that you have to listen to that voice the intuition of, you know, is this something that I truly want? And again, I think deep down, you know, the answer to that. You know, whether this is something that you truly want, and I'm going to give you a little hint. If you've been listening to multiple episodes, you listen to this episode or this podcast every single week, and you're constantly Googling different things. You know, doing your research. Pursuing moving abroad and just thinking about it and you feel like it's always on your mind, you think this is something that's always, you know, top of mind, anytime I have a still moment, I'm constantly thinking about this. I'd say that's your sign? I'd say that is probably a sign. That's something that you truly want. But again, I just say, be honest with yourself on this and deep down, you know, what your intuition is telling you that that's something that you truly want or not. It could be, you know, go either way really. So I'd say just listen to that voice and pursue it either way. If you say no, that's not what I really want. That's okay. If you say yes, this is something that I really want, then, you know, maybe you do have this mindset barrier of the grass is always greener. And then I hope that this podcast episode is helpful for you. So, anyways, okay. So those are, I think the four most practical tips to move past your doubt. So get clear on your, why will be number one? Number two would be research realistically. Number three would be focused on growth, not perfection in moving abroad and building your life there. Number four, would you be to take small steps. You don't have to move abroad tomorrow. Just start with taking one step at a time and then trust your intuition deep down, you know what you want. And I'm just say, trust her intuition. So I say those are the most practical tips to kind of conquer this doubt of the grass is always greener. I've spoken with so many people who have hesitated for years before moving abroad, because they were afraid the grass wouldn't be greener. And guess what? Some of them did face challenges. You know, you are going to face a little bit of homesickness from time to time. There are going to be cultural differences that you'll have to get used to, but none of them regret taking the leap. Why? Because even the hard days brought clarity growth and you'll have unforgettable experiences and that's just life. You're going to have challenges. You're going to have days that don't feel good where, you know, you'll have darker days. It's just as that's life and that's a part of being human and that's going to happen no matter where you are. And life is not just going to fix itself. If you move to another place, you're still going to have some of your burdens and the things that feel heavier in life. But I have talked to many people who have moved abroad and not a single person has ever said. I regret taking the leap. I regret moving abroad. I've never talked to one person that said that. They'll say I'm so proud of myself for doing it. I have loved X, Y, and Z, but I'm going to move home because of, you know, ABC reason either they lived abroad and they really enjoyed it and they just want to. You know, build a life in the U.S. They want to get back to family. Whatever the reason is they get a better job opportunity, you know? It could be any reason really. But no person I've ever talked to has regretted it. So I've just keep that in mind. As you're thinking about the grass is always greener. So if you're sitting on the fence, wondering if the grass is actually greener abroad. I would encourage you to ask a different question. What if the grass isn't about being greener? What if it's about planting new seeds and seeing what grows as cheesy as that sounds, I really don't believe that the grass is always greener. That aside is a good mentality to have. I think that it just keeps us in this loop of just sticking with what's comfortable. And just saying, no, I need to be grateful for what I have. And I think that it just keeps us from pursuing the dreams that we have in life in general, but whenever it comes to moving abroad I think it absolutely applies. So let's get away from the mentality that the grass is always greener and go out and pursue your dream of moving abroad. So thank you so much for listening to another episode of the move broad podcast. I hope you enjoyed today's topic. I would really love it. If you could leave a review, if you haven't done so already, or if you could share this episode with a friend. And don't forget to download the free guide. If you feel like that would be helpful for you in pursuing your dream of moving abroad to Europe, you can find the free guide at Jordangiberson.com/guide. If you'd like to check that out. But other than that, that is it for me for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the move abroad podcast. I'll catch you here again next week. Same time, same place. Bye for now.