135: What living abroad for YEARS actually feels like

Everyone talks about the dream of moving abroad, but nobody talks about what happens years later, when it stops feeling new and starts feeling like real life.

In this episode, I get real about what living in London for nearly seven years has actually felt like - the good, the messy, and the surprisingly beautiful.

In this episode, I'm covering:

• The difference between your first year abroad vs. year five
• How living abroad genuinely changes who you are as a person
• The honest downsides nobody really talks about — missing birthdays, weddings, and holidays back home
• Why I feel a deep sense of peace and freedom after getting my UK permanent residency
• The question every expat eventually faces: "Will you stay forever?"
• Why you don't have to have it all figured out before you go

My biggest takeaway: "Life can be built in more than one place, and life can be built more than once."

Whether you're just starting to dream about moving abroad or you're already living it, this episode will encourage you, ground you, and remind you that it's good on the other side.

👉Take the free quiz: Which European city should you move to? 🤔

Grab my free guide: 5 exact steps to move abroad

Website: jordangiberson.com
Instagram: @jordan.giberson

Transcript

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One of the most beautiful things about living abroad for years is that you get your permanent residency, or you can get your citizenship. I have the right to live and work here or I could start a business. And I don't need permission. I could do anything that I want. And I think that brought me a really big sense of peace, and freedom hey, my name is Jordan Giberson. I'm a Texas girl living and thriving in London. The best thing I've ever done? Moving abroad, hands down. And I'm passionate about helping others do the same. Are you curious about finding a job abroad? You're in the right place, friend. I'll teach you the tried and true secrets of how to make moving abroad a reality for you and how to live a fulfilling life once you get there. We'll cover topics like choosing the best visa for you, how to get a job offer in another country, how to get over your fear of moving abroad, and how to live a life you love once you get there, this is The Move Abroad Podcast. And welcome to another episode of the Move Abroad podcast. Today we're talking about what living abroad for years actually feels like. A lot of the time in this podcast, we talk about the dream or about the move itself, or maybe even the first few months, but we don't talk about what happens whenever you live abroad, whenever it stops feeling new and becomes a part of your actual life, and what that really feels like. I've been living abroad in London for, gosh, coming up to seven years. September will be seven years, which is crazy. It has flown by. But I just wanted to talk about what that has felt like for me and what you might experience. I know whenever we think about moving abroad, a lot of times we're thinking just the next step in front of us. We're not thinking seven years from now. But I think that it's helpful just to see what a long-term life abroad might feel like, what it might look like for you. And you might be like me. When I first moved abroad, I was really just focused on getting there. I was focused on finding a visa, getting a job, figuring out where to live, and just starting to really settle in and start my life abroad. At the time, I wasn't really thinking about what moving abroad would feel like after months had passed by and after a year or two had passed by, whenever it stops feeling as much an adventure and starts feeling a little bit more real life. Because when I first moved abroad, I moved abroad because I wanted an adventure. Maybe you're moving abroad for a different reason, for career progression, for, to leave your current life in the country that you're in to have a different type of life and different type of lifestyle, to experience a different culture. there could be many different reasons why you want to move abroad, but for me, it was for the adventure. And it stopped feeling like an adventure as much, and it started feeling a little bit more like real life. So I just wanted to dig into what that might feel like for you whenever you move abroad, and the difference between your first few months versus your first couple of years, and even beyond that if you decide to stay living abroad. So let's paint the picture a little bit. The first year versus year five, for example in the beginning of living abroad, everything feels really exciting. You're constantly discovering new things. Every weekend feels like an adventure. You're really excited. You're learning and you're growing really quickly. And I will say as well, you'll be a little bit overwhelmed. It's just, I think, a little bit overwhelmed to have so many new experiences at once. It's like your body's experiencing information overload because you are going to grocery stores where the names of the actual grocery stores are different, and some of the brands might be different inside of the stores. You might go to the drugstore or the pharmacy and realize that a lot of the medicine brands are different, for example, just the names of them. You might experience that, public transportation feels really different from being in a car, and you are experiencing that for the first time, or just different accents and realizing what people are actually saying whenever they have a bit of an accent, even if they are speaking English, or just being around an environment where there are different languages spoken all the time. For me, at the beginning, it was so weird constantly hearing languages from all over the world. I think that's specifically a London thing, where there's languages from all over the world. You might be moving to another place where it's only Spanish spoken everywhere or only Italian or lots of German everywhere. So you might be experiencing that for the first time, and all of a sudden you can't eavesdrop on every conversation around you at the dinner table whenever you're in a restaurant, and that might feel really different. These are just really small things that are funny. Thinking about not being able to eavesdrop, but it's true, and something that I didn't even think about whenever I was moving abroad. But in the beginning, you're just experiencing so many different things, a different way of life in general, and everything will feel exciting. Everything will feel really new and almost new in a very overwhelming way. But again, this is whenever you start to feel you finally made it. You feel very excited. It's very overwhelming, because there are so many new things at once. And even if you consciously are like, "I'm fine," "I don't feel overwhelmed," I think that subconsciously you are a little bit overwhelmed because it's stimulus overload in so many different ways. Like even the architecture or, again, public transportation is a really different way of living, and you just are experiencing that for the first time, and it just feels a little bit different. So anyways, that's what the beginning feels like. And then years later, you end up having routines. You have your favorite coffee shops, and you know the grocery store system, and you have friend groups, and, you get in a rhythm with your new work, situation, whether you are employed or you have freelance work or maybe you were able to take your job from original country and you are working remotely for them. So at some point, you are no longer visiting your new country, you are truly living there. And one thing I do remember, and you might be experiencing something similar, is whenever I really wanted to move abroad, my mom, I remember her telling me, Why don't you just go to London for two weeks on your vacation a year?" And I was like, "No, Mom, I don't want to just visit there, I want to live there. I want to be in and amongst it, and be, like, experiencing life fully there." So you might be thinking the same thing, and, if that's you, then I wanna say I understand, and it is totally worth it. So anyways, that's like the first year versus year five, and how it might feel a little bit different. And again, it just starts to feel normal, but in the best way. You might worry that you'll never feel settled at the very beginning, but the first time in any city is going to feel unfamiliar, and you will start to feel more familiar. You'll start to maybe use Google Maps less. I will say I have a horrible sense of direction. Literally my sense of direction is negative four out of 10, so I always use Google Maps. I just don't trust myself unless I know exactly where I'm going. If I'm going to the office I know how to get there and I don't need Google Maps, but everything else I use Google Maps for everything. You'll start to have your spots your places that you love to hang out, and it'll just start to feel like home. It'll start to feel normal. I haven't used a drying machine for my clothing in literally years. And at first I thought that was crazy. I would take my wet clothes, I would walk it to the closest laundromat, which was, like, a minute walk away, and I would dry my clothes in the dryer because I just could not believe that in the UK they don't have dryers, just as an example. So one day you'll just realize that you're not figuring out life anymore, you're just living it, and it does start to feel really normal for you You also become a bit of a different person, to be honest. So whenever I first was moving abroad, I did not think about this at all, but in living abroad for years, it does start to change you, but it's not in a negative way. To me, it's in a really positive way. I have become so much more independent because I've had to solve problems alone and just figure it out, and I've realized that everything is figureoutable, and it's just made me more independent as a person. I've always been independent, But I think that I've become more sure of myself after living abroad. So you'll become more independent. You'll become more adaptable. You'll just learn how to handle uncertainty better because you'll be faced with, in a totally different country, you're just in a completely different environment, and you become more independent. You become more adaptable and flexible whenever there is something that you're not used to. You become more confident. Like I said, I think that you've already done something hard, so you just build up this sense of confidence in yourself, and you become more open-minded. You've seen different ways of living and how people just do things differently, and that's okay. And I think that if I were to be living in the US, I ask myself this question sometimes, would I be the same person if I never left the US? And I think the answer is honestly no. I think that I would be a little bit different. Would I be a completely drastically different person? No. I would still be at the essence like myself, but I think that you do become a different person. You do shift in becoming more independent, more adaptable, more confident, more open-minded in general. Living in another country, specifically London, there are so many different cultures and ways of life, and I think that you moving to another country like Italy, for example, you'll realize how different the way of life is, that they take really long lunches. They're very relaxed and not constantly having this hustle culture or feeling guilty for relaxing for a little bit. So I think you'll just notice that ways of life are different, and you'll become more open-minded, and I do think that I have changed after living abroad. But again, I think it's for the best. I love how I am. That sounds like I'm obsessed with myself, and that's not it, but I'm so happy that I moved abroad. And I've said this before on the podcast, Moving abroad has been the best decision I have ever made in my life. I am so happy I went for it. I was really hesitant at first about moving abroad. I was really nervous about the experience. I didn't know if I was making the right decision. I had a lot of people discouraging me. It was not normal for people to move out of Texas in general, let alone leaving the country and continent altogether. Yeah, I was very nervous at first, but I have become a different person, but in a really positive way, where I feel like I still am connecting with my friends and family back home just fine. It's not weird. I'm not a completely different person. But I feel like I've grown a lot in who I am and in a way that I'm really proud of, and I think moving abroad has been a really big part of that, and probably would be a big part of your growth journey as well as a person I think there are some downsides though that nobody maybe talks about a whole lot, but these will be fairly obvious, is that you do miss out on important moments. It comes with its sacrifice for sure. There are times that I miss birthdays, I miss family gatherings, I miss certain holidays. You do miss out on certain things, and it is such a bummer that I haven't been home for Thanksgiving since I moved. Which sounds so sad, but you know, Thanksgiving's never been a big part of our family. We just have not made it a big deal. But I do miss out on that family time whenever everyone's getting together and celebrating Thanksgiving, or celebrating Easter, or birthdays like I said, or baby showers. I have missed out on some of those important moments with my friends and my family. But at the same time, I am very intentional with trying to be there for the most important moments. Last year I went to the US four times in five months, which was crazy, but I really cared about going to my friend's wedding and my friend's bachelorette party, and my brother got married as well, and I really wanted to be home for Christmas as well. And everything was very close together within a five-month span. I went back and forth literally four times, which was a lot. But I promised myself whenever I first moved abroad that I would be there for the really big moments regardless of the cost of flights, regardless of the time that it took. I really want to be there for the people that I love. And you can't be there for every single thing. you have to know that going into it. But for the really big things, I've told myself that it's really important. So you just make that a priority, and you be there and you make it happen to be there for the weddings, for maybe for certain special birthdays, maybe for specific family gatherings or, like I plan my trips home based around when my friends in Texas are doing a weekend at the lake because we don't see each other but once a year really. So I plan my trips around weddings. So anyways, what I'm trying to say is you will miss important moments. It's just going to happen because you're straddling yourself between two different worlds. You're trying to enjoy life abroad and all that it has to offer and to live and exist in that space, in that place. But that also means that there will simultaneously be things happening in your home country, in your hometown that you will miss out on. So that is something that is a downside. But to me it hasn't been the biggest deal. I've been able to... Yes, I miss out on things, but I feel like I'm very intentional with the people that I love, and I am there for the big things, which is important I think another interesting downside in a way is that you feel a little bit between two worlds for good and for bad. I think a lot of expats I've heard experience this, that home sometimes changes while you're away. For me, it hasn't changed that much. You change too. Sometimes you don't feel fully rooted in either place because you do truly feel like you're straddling one place and another. I think of this as a positive thing because I feel like I get the best of both worlds, where I really love my time in Texas when I go back. I'm whoa, country music, and the country outfits and just the green rolling hill country of Texas and enjoying barbecue and all the things that I really miss, and I feel like it makes me truly appreciate those moments instead of it feeling like normal everyday life where you stop noticing things. So I notice those things even more, and then when I come back, I experience the same thing where I'm like, oh, wow I love public transport. I love that I walk between all my favorite coffee shops, and I don't have to get in a car, and that you're not sitting at an outdoor cafe facing a parking lot. I love that part of living here. So you do feel like you're between two worlds, and some people feel like it's feels weird to them whenever they go back home, but it's always felt like home to me, and it's made me enjoy the other place even more I think also after living abroad for years, your friendships just require more effort. You do have to realize that sometimes your friend groups evolve. I think that happens in normal life whether you move abroad or not. People get married, have kids, move away. But I think you just have to be really intentional about the people that you want to stay close friends with. There were people that I knew I couldn't keep a strong relationship with, but there were certain people that I intentionally said, "I am going to make this relationship continue. I am going to be intentional about making sure I keep this friendship or keep this friendship group." And I have over the years, even though I've been here for coming up to seven years in September. I feel like I still have good friendships even though we don't see each other very often, and I feel like that's a sign of a truly good friendship is if you can be away for months and months, but then you hang out again and it feels like nothing has changed Another thing that I really wanted to discuss, and hopefully might, does not rub people the wrong way, but I think that one of the most beautiful things about living abroad for years is that a lot of the times whenever you live abroad for years, that means that you get your permanent residency, or you can get your citizenship in another country. And I think that is cool, right? It's cool that you could have another passport and be a citizen in another country, to be a dual citizen. I think that is really, really cool. But what that also means, and for me, and this is the part that I'm like, ooh, this might rub people the wrong way a little bit. But for me, I think it's brought me a sense of peace. I feel like more than anything in life, I am constantly chasing after freedom. I'm chasing after freedom, after flexibility more than many other things. And whenever you live abroad for multiple years, you start to work towards getting your permanent residency, which means that you can live and work in that country and be able to do that indefinitely. So I've been living in London for over six years, and I about three weeks ago got my permanent residency. I got my indefinite leave to remain in the UK, which is super exciting. It's been something that I've been working towards for a really long time, and I think I finally had this sense of peace of wow, like I could live somewhere else. I could move to another country, and I could always come back here and get a job and not need visa sponsorship, and I have the right to live and work here or not work. I can come and not work at all, or I could be a freelancer now if I wanted to. I could do anything that I want. I could start a business. I could do anything, and I don't need permission. I could do anything that I want. And I think that brought me a really big sense of peace, and I'm, I am working towards my citizenship. I'll get my citizenship in the UK in about a year. So that is like the final like yay, like I'm fully a citizen. I'll get the passport. Nobody can ever take this away from me, whereas indefinitely to remain your permanent residency in any country, it, you do have the right to be there. But it could potentially change in the future, and I think that some countries are making it more difficult to move abroad. Some countries are opening it up even more to have people move there. It depends on the situation. But Why I think that this is so great is that it does provide freedom and flexibility. I don't mean to sound doom and gloom, but you just never know how the world is going to change. I feel like more and more Americans are wanting to get out of the United States because of how things are changing and the uncertainty around it. And I want to remain sensitive, but I love that I have the flexibility to have the right to live in the UK if I want to, if I feel like things in the US are going downhill or vice versa. If things are going downhill in the UK, I'm like, I could always move to the US. So I think it provides this really big sense of freedom. And because of Brexit, boo, that means that I could not live anywhere in Europe. But if you are considering moving somewhere else in Europe, in Spain or Italy or Germany France, pick your country, then you would have the flexibility after living there for a few years to get your permanent residency or to potentially get your citizenship and say, You know what? I can stay here for the rest of my life if I want to, and I don't have to ask anybody for permission. And if a war broke out in my home country or if things were just not as good as they used to be, then I can live in this place instead, or I could live somewhere else in the EU." And you have the ability to do that, and I think that is just really cool to have that sense of freedom for you, freedom for your family. I think about my kids and their futures as well, and I love that, they could choose to go to university in the United States if they want to, and then they could move to the UK to get a job, and be able to work here. Or if you're wanting to move somewhere in Europe, then it also gives your kids the freedom and flexibility that even if something crazy didn't happen in the next 20 years or 30 years, your children have the ability to be able to move there and have freedom for them and their families. And I think that is such a cool thing that I've lived in another country for a few years, and then it provides so much freedom and flexibility for my future family to be able to choose a life in the country that they want to. So that's something that I feel like is something that people don't talk about as much. But I have a friend that moved from South Africa to Germany, and that was his goal going in, is he said, "I really want to get my permanent residency here. I wanna get my citizenship, and I wanna be able to choose the life that I want to in the future. If things change and go downhill in this country that I'm from, then I have the ability to have the freedom and flexibility for myself and for my family, for my future, for our future." And I think that is a really cool thing that moving abroad does provide you if you do live there longer term. That's something that I haven't talked about on the podcast, I think, ever, but it's something that has been important to me, and maybe it's something that's also important to you. So if that's you, I want to say that, I'm on the other side. I have gotten my permanent residency now. I'll get my citizenship in a year, and it does provide a sense of freedom. I do feel, Relieved in a way that regardless of how things might change in the US, that I could live in another country and I could be out of that situation, and that does provide a lot of peace for me. So anyways, I've been talking about this enough, but I actually think this is one of the most important parts of this podcast actually, and something that's been really important to me, and again, might be something that you've been thinking about. So I want to say that, if that's you, I hear you, I understand you. I am in the same boat. It does provide that freedom, and That might be one of the reasons why you want to move abroad in the first place, and I have heard that from other people. So with that very serious note, we're gonna shift a little bit, and we'll start closing down this episode. But one thing that I feel like everyone eventually asks themselves, and that your family is inevitably going to ask you, and that is, "Will you stay forever? How long are you staying?" I think that happens especially in the very beginning, and will continue to happen as you live there longer and longer. And I think a lot of long-term expats ask themselves this question, and that is, "How long am I going to stay?" I think that sometimes your goals might evolve, your priorities might change, and it's okay not to know the You don't have to decide whether it's forever for you at the very beginning. I remember I met this girl several years ago now, and I asked her, like, "How long are you gonna stay in the UK?" And she said, "You know what? My family's been asking me that, my friends have been asking me that, and I tell them that I am staying here until further notice." And I was like, "Yes, I kind of love that." Because at the very beginning, my family asked me the same thing, and I said, "Oh, I think I'll do one year or two years max, and I'll come back." And here I am many years later, haven't left. So I love her answer to that. She's like, "I'm here until further notice." So I like that she said that, and I think we just don't know. You might move abroad, and you might decide, hey, this was great, I loved living abroad. And I legitimately have not heard of anybody that said, "Man, I wish I didn't move abroad. That was a bad decision." I've never heard anybody say that, so I hope that gives you some peace. But, you might move there for a year and say, "That was great. I loved my experience. However, I'm ready to go back home." That happens sometimes, that people live abroad for a year or two, and they decide to go back, and that's completely fine. But you might also say, "Hey, I've lived here for a year or two, but my time here is not up. I feel like I need to stay longer for whatever reason. I'm just really enjoying myself," or, whatever. And you might end up staying for many more years than you anticipate. I think that's something you don't have to decide now. I think that's something that you can figure out as you go. A lot of times life throws us a curveball, and we just don't expect what's coming, and that's just life in general. It's hard to plan more a couple years in the future. You could plan for five years down the line, but things are always changing, and you never know how things shift. But But the point is, you don't have to decide forever. You can just decide for now and give yourself a goal of I'm gonna live here for a year and feel it out and see how I'm doing, and then maybe I'll stay longer. And then you evaluate from there, and that's what I did, and I think that's a good mindset to have. So will you stay forever? Who knows? You'll be there until further notice. So in closing, what living abroad for years has taught me, it has taught me that life can be built in more than one place and life can be built more than once You can completely start over in a new place, and my life now looks completely different than what it looked like in Texas. But it just is different, so life can be built more than once I've also learned that there isn't one right place to live. There are multiple places all over the world that I could probably build my life and build a really happy life. I have realized that after I've traveled more, after I've lived abroad, and I think that, you could build a beautiful life in many different places, and I would not use that mental excuse to say, Well, there's so many places. I need to make sure I choose the right one or the best one for me right now," and you become overwhelmed and not choose a place to move to. Wherever you move, whether it's Munich, Germany, or Paris, France, you can always change. You could stay there for six months or stay there for a year and then shift to another place because I've also learned that home can be multiple places. You be from Texas like me or be from New York City or wherever you're from, maybe it's a different country than the US, but you can feel a sense of home in multiple places, and that has been me. I actually feel like it's home for me in multiple cities all over the world for different reasons. But, home can feel like home in multiple Growth in yourself comes from uncertainty. I think that moving abroad is going to be one of the best growth experiences you will have in your life, and you will experience that, especially over time. You'll experience, how you've changed and grown And very cheesy, but it is true. You are more capable than you think. It might feel a little bit scary to move abroad. Maybe you're like I'm not scared, I'm just excited." Maybe that's you, but you are more capable than you think. So in closing, when I first moved abroad, I thought the goal was to move. I was really focused on just getting there, and I really didn't think ahead. I was just one step in front of the other. And I think that's a good place to be in. I think not overwhelming yourself with the potential futures that you might have if you moved, or how long you stay, and if you're coming back, and overwhelming yourself with that. But I think that the goal is to move. It's just to have one foot in front of the other. Looking back, moving was just the very beginning. I have changed and grown in so many ways over the years after living abroad, and now it feels so normal to me. Just as one little example, I still have people that live in the US, and they're like, "Whoa, the time difference, just so crazy. It's such a weird thing." And I'm like, "Yeah. It's a time difference." Like, I'm just so used to it now. It's so a normal part of my life that I know I can never call my parents before 1:00 PM in the afternoon in London. But that's just so normal to me. And it's something I'm very used to, and it's just normal. So anyways, in the question of what does living abroad for years actually feel like, honestly, it feels very normal. It feels like I have a sense of peace. I love the life that I've built here. I love how I've changed and grown. There were things that were very odd to me at the very beginning, and for the first year a lot of it is just kind of adjustment, of adjusting to, different types of friends. And just different ways of living in general, of public transport, of the culture, of the office feeling a little bit different. There's so many things that feel different whenever you move abroad, but I've grown so much, and to me it now feels so normal. Once you live somewhere for many years, it will start to feel very normal to you. You're going to change, but you're not going to change drastically. You're still going to be yourself. They make this joke, and it's a very common saying, that you can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the girl. And you could fill it in for yourself, you're not gonna change completely. But I think that you will grow and, I think that moving abroad is, again, one of the best experiences that I've ever had in my life. To me, i tell people it's the best decision I've made in my life, and I do truly mean that. But I think that moving abroad for multiple years, at the end of the day, I'm so grateful that I've done it, and I hope that other people experience it. If that's you and you really want to move abroad and experience what life looks like, and it's difficult for you to picture what it might look like years down the road, I would encourage you that, first of all, it's good on the other side. I'm telling you, years later, I still love London. I don't feel as obsessed and googly-eyed about it than I might have at the beginning, but I still love it so much. And even years later, I still look at Big Ben, I still look at the Tower of London, and like just being in London in general, I'm like, "Wow, I can't believe I live here." Like, still to this day, like this is silly, but I just got chill bumps. I still to this day love London so much. I love the life that I've built abroad, and this can be you too. But I wouldn't worry about what it's going to feel like years down the line. I would give yourself permission to just take it one step at a time. Just think about getting abroad like I did, not overwhelm yourself about how many years am I gonna be there and like am I gonna be there for five years? Am I gonna be there for more? Will I ever move back? You don't need to worry about that now. And just take one step at a time, and then the rest is gonna fall into place. And over the years you can make that decision whenever the time comes of whether you move back home or whether you stay, and seeing how you feel. But anyways, we'll just close it out there. I hope that you found this episode encouraging and a sense of peace after knowing what your life could look like even years down the line of living abroad, if you're in the beginning stages, if you're really considering a move abroad, you might consider downloading the free guide. It's up to you. It's at the podcast description. It just outlines some of the beginning steps or the steps that it takes to move abroad. So you can click on the link in the podcast description. It's the five exact steps to move abroad. Or you can also go to my website, and you can find the guide at Jordangiberson.com/guide. So you can go grab it there. that is it for me for today's episode. Thank you so much for joining another episode of the Move Abroad podcast. I will catch you here again next week, same time, same place. I'll catch you then.