Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Two Old Bats in the Belfry
Bathing Suit Trauma
Swimsuit season is upon us, and there's nothing quite like stripping down in a poorly lit dressing room to bring all those body insecurities rushing back! Shelley and Vicki dive deep into the universal dread of bathing suit shopping, reflecting on how they've struggled with body image throughout their lives—even when they were young with what they now recognize were "cute little bodies."
The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as they reminisce about iconic swimwear from their youth, including the provocative Rudy Gernreich designs, and contrast them with today's barely-there styles that create entirely new anxieties. From childhood memories of a pediatrician telling 12-year-old Vicki to maintain her weight for the next decade to questioning the grooming preferences of different generations, nothing is off-limits in this candid discussion.
Hi everyone, this is Shelly G and Vicki Z, and we are Two Old Bats in the. Belfry.
Speaker 2:Well, vic, it's that time of year, our favorite time of year. It's not Christmas it's not. Hanukkah it's not Valentine's Day, no, it's bathing suit shopping. I'm telling you, I've been binge eating ever since before Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:I know it's been really hard to control food consumption.
Speaker 2:I know it's terrible and you know, everyone says oh, it's too hot. How could you eat? It's too hot. No, what does that have to do with anything? Nothing, it's not in an oven.
Speaker 1:It doesn't stop me from cooking. That's right. And what does that have to do with being hungry? It's just a question of eating what we're eating.
Speaker 2:You know something? I hated bathing suit shopping, even when I was younger. So did I. I really did, because my boobs were too big. My ass was too flat.
Speaker 1:I never had a good body image either. When I look at pictures of me from back then, I really had a cute little body.
Speaker 2:I was short, but I was still short. What do you mean?
Speaker 1:well, one can keep growing after 18, but I never enjoyed it. Um, there was maybe one time when Rudy Gernreich came out with that bathing suit.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, that was like an early fun time.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was, with the hard cut on the side. Yes, it was, I remember that. And the boobless whatever. I got one with mesh and I was wearing it and my husband was in college at the time. So my father took a picture of me in the bathing suit and sent it to my boyfriend at the time and one of his friends looked at it and said did you get laid yet?
Speaker 2:Really yeah.
Speaker 1:It was a very sexy suit, but I mean, I'm such a good girl.
Speaker 2:In the Stone Age people didn't have premarital sex. No, no, although they could have. I remember when I was 12, I was five foot two and 120 pounds and my mother took me to the pediatrician and the pediatrician said she, you have to stay. If you want a good body, you have to stay the same weight for the next 10 years.
Speaker 1:So I asked my mother not to ever take me back to the pediatrician again yeah, I yeah because I was 12 years old yeah, I wasn't menstruating yet, right, it was awful and that meant, yes, it is awful. But as far as trying a bathing suit on, that was always such a traumatic thing for me because I had some girlfriends who really had gorgeous bodies, you know, back in the day, right um, in the days of christy brinkley, and oh sure um yeah, so cheryl teague absolutely, absolutely. And even brooke shields, who I just saw pictures of at 60 I know she looks phenomenal I don't know where these women get their abs from.
Speaker 2:I think once you're model, you tend to just stay in that mode the rest of your life.
Speaker 1:I think so, but do you think a plastic surgeon can put abs in? Or a six-pack? How about a four-pack? I do, I'll even take a two-pack.
Speaker 2:I do not.
Speaker 1:Well it's. I think we have to work with that Absolutely. And of course, then the other problem about bathing suits were you don't want to see any hair except the hair on your head.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but meanwhile, have you seen these bathing suits? Now, I mean, there's absolutely no way to have any hair Right. They're nonexistent. Seriously, they really are absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 1:I don't know how.
Speaker 2:And they just barely cover the landing strip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what about the little triangle for the boobs? I mean, that's really impossible. But the landing strip is a question. What do you think about that?
Speaker 2:In terms of what are men like Having?
Speaker 1:one or yes, what are men like? We don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I was always afraid if I shaved I would itch myself to death. Yes, that's probably true. And how would it look if I was walking around scratching myself? That?
Speaker 1:would be a problem as long as it's not a yeast infection or a UTI.
Speaker 2:That's a whole other thing, I know.
Speaker 1:That's a whole other podcast. Yes, it certainly is.
Speaker 2:But you know, I don't know. I think I used to think I posed this question at work, before I retired, to the younger people because I was the oldest person at work. What do men like Right, Do they like bald or do they like a landing strip? And there were all kinds of different opinions and I think it depends on the age group, I absolutely do.
Speaker 1:The kids today, the young people today, I don't think I think, as obsessive as they still might be about their bodies, they're much more open to walking around without clothes on, they're much more open to trying different sexual positions and they're much more open to just other things that I never would have thought of they are and I think they're a lot freer, Absolutely. But we were governed by the a lot freer.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. But we were governed by the rules of our parents Absolutely and by the times of the times. I mean you and I were talking yesterday about our parents and as much as I loved my parents and all, I don't ever remember them being funny at all.
Speaker 1:Well, my mom was funny. She really was, and she used to make her mom laugh all the time. I really am the funniest person in my family, I think I am too, and of course they're all gone now so I can be totally funny if I want to.
Speaker 2:No, I am too. I mean, I've always had a sense of humor, yeah me too, I remember my cousins years ago saying oh, you should do open mic, you should do stand-up. I wanted to do that too.
Speaker 1:But we should do it together. We could.
Speaker 2:But we could, we could, wouldn't that be something? Yeah, but you know, we'd be booed off the stage immediately because we'd get out there and we'd see a fat audience and we'd say, oh, welcome to Weight Watchers.
Speaker 1:And then everybody would get up and leave.
Speaker 2:We would also have to be within our age group, because I don't think that younger people would identify or maybe find certain things funny, right and and may not even relate yeah, exactly, but I mean, when I when I told that tom jones joke at work to the group that I was speaking to, I said if you don't know who tom jones is, you can either google him or it was the song that carlton did his dance to in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Speaker 1:Okay and they all knew that. Yeah, it's. It's a question of relation to what, what is? In their mind right, um, but you know when I look back at the childhood that we had right. Compared with what's going on today and you certainly know more about that, having been in education and seeing what's going on it's such a whole different world. You can't even compare the times that made us happy as children versus the times that Plus, you know what I think is happening now too.
Speaker 2:I realized that what's going on worldwide is exceptionally serious now More of a threat to younger people than we ever had? Yes, absolutely, you know we were concerned about nuclear war. We used to have those and you're from the East Coast so you remember those girls who got under the desk at school, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But now people.
Speaker 2:They don't laugh at themselves like we did. We used to laugh at ourselves and think you know, things were so funny. But they don't have the sense of humor.
Speaker 1:Well, I think because the way things are for them personally is probably more difficult than it ever was. I mean, when my son was growing up, he would say to me that me and my husband were the only married couple left out of everybody who knew everybody was divorced.
Speaker 2:My daughter used to say that to us until we got a divorce, but she was 19 when we got a divorce.
Speaker 1:Right, which is a totally different thing than younger children. My parents should have gotten a divorce. They threatened it for years and years and years. Well, they didn't divorce in those divorce they threatened it for years and years and years. Well, they didn't divorce in those days. Well, no, my mother really should have, but that generation really never did so but I think it's harder for them to laugh at themselves.
Speaker 2:I mean, we used to make oh, and even growing up, my daughter will tell you people used to say my daughter's crazy mom. Daughter will tell you People used to say my daughter's crazy mom.
Speaker 1:Right, but you know, the things that we used to laugh at, too, used to be so inane and silly, they were silly. And I would always pee myself.
Speaker 2:I mean, what about movies? I was just going to say that's why. Mel Brooks was so popular Absolutely Because everything was hysterical, no matter what.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And movies like matter what absolutely? And. And movies like the big lebowski and any of the groucho marx movies, which, of course, a lot of our young people may not be aware of. If you ever want a good laugh, that's a good place to start. Yes, absolutely, and I love slapstick. When people fall, I get hysterical and then I pee, so anyway, but I I do think that, um, generationally, there's a huge difference in what makes people happy and that's why we're doing this podcast. Yes, and we'll leave you with this.
Speaker 2:Remember, age is mind over matter if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.