Praying For A Bowel Movement

WE'RE BACK!!!

Getting older doesn’t just change your body, it changes your definition of “fun,” and we’re back to say it out loud. After a real-life hiatus, we return with the honest, slightly unhinged humor you expect from Two Old Bats in the Belfry, plus a very practical question: what do you stop doing as you age, and what do you keep because it still brings you joy?

We talk about the adventures we’ll happily leave to other people now, from trampolines to skydiving to bungee jumping, and why things like fear of heights, motion sickness, and plain old balance start calling the shots. We also share the rare exceptions and the weird little wins, like how scuba diving makes you feel weightless and why going to bed early becomes a luxury instead of a punchline. If you’ve been searching for real talk on healthy aging, staying active after 60, and senior lifestyle choices that don’t require pretending you’re 25, you’ll feel seen.

We also drop a Scottsdale restaurant recommendation for La Toretta, because sometimes the best “activity” is a great meal with great service and people who can laugh with you. We end with our favorite kind of advice: stay active in ways that feel safe, grab your friends, and do life together, whether that’s hiking, swimming, or treating shopping like an Olympic sport. If you enjoy funny conversations about aging, retirement years, and finding joy without bruises, subscribe, share the show with a friend, and leave a review.

Transcript

We Are Back From Hiatus

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi everyone! This is Shelly G and Vicki Z, and we are Two Old Bats in the Belfry.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Well, hello listener. Zzz and welcome back. My partner Vicky and I have been on hiatus. I would love to be able to say that we were out doing the talk show circuit promoting Two Old Bats in the Belfry, but alas that was not the case. Man plans and God laughs and life stepped in. But we're back. We are feistier, happier, and older than ever.

A Scottsdale Dinner Recommendation

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Before we begin and enter the Belfry, we would like to tell you about a fabulous restaurant in Scottsdale, Arizona called La Toretta. It's a wonderful place for a terrific dinner. Service is fabulous. I mean, the waiters they can tolerate us, so they must have a sense of humor. They're wonderful people. The food is great, the ambiance is terrific. It's on a street called Frank Lloyd Wright Boulevard and 100th Street. You won't be disappointed. And now, Miss Vicky, what are we talking about today?

The Things We Will Not Do

SPEAKER_00 1:23

What's flapping? Oh my goodness, how many things can I? Everything, right? Everything. My gums are flapping. My boobs are constantly flapping. I think they've grown two inches, not in the right direction either.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Well, while we were on hiatus, I know that you, because I was doing the same thing, we were thinking about what topics we could possibly discuss that would entertain our audience of, I hope, more than ten. So we I I remember us chatting about things that we would never do now because we feel we're a little long in the tooth, so to speak.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Yes. Quite a list, it is, too. Which is sad in a way, but I think true.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Where should we begin? Well, look, I I think, and I say this all the time, that we are no longer the demographic that the world caters to. This is true. However, we are the generation that has disposable income, so we are able to do some things that other people can't. But the things that I would not do now far outweigh the things that I would do. Absolutely, no question about it. I mean, would you go on a trampoline now? No. I feel like I'm on a trampoline all the time. Would you go skydiving or bunchy jumping? No. And I admire people that do.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

I do, I do, but the thought of my stomach falling out of between my legs is just a little too much to handle. And I don't like heights anymore. I I don't know why. I've never been either claustrophobic or frightened of height. You're full of sleep too. How could you? What do you think? Um no, I I oh I did go scuba diving, and the the one thing about scuba diving that I loved is that I look like I was 5'9. Uh the the pull of gravity of the ocean really gives your legs a bit. We weigh nothing. Oh, it's amazing what you look like. We should live in a tank. We should live in a tank. I can decorate, no problem.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Just go to home goods and I mean I I was never big on roller coaster and rides.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Well, I went on a roller coaster with one of my friends once, and the only reason I let her talk me into it was because there were two nuns sitting behind us, and I figured if they could do it, I could do it. Really? Yes, I went, barfed up everything, but that was okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

I don't know. I used to watch my child in the amusement box go up and down on the rides and get nauseous watching it.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

So, no, that wouldn't be for me. Yeah, my husband doesn't like to do it either. He said one time when we were at Disney World, he went into the men's room and there were about 10 men vomiting. Oh my god. They had just gotten off the ride and they were all green

So What Counts As Fun Now

SPEAKER_00 4:16

like Martians. So what is what do we do now? I mean, what do we do for entertainment? Pray for a bow movement. What do we do for movement? Well, that is true. That is true. Right now with good bow movements, better than sex. Oh, absolutely. And and oh, without a doubt, such a cleansing feeling. Um what do we do now? Sleep.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

You know, it's funny. Years ago we used years and years ago, we used to make fun of the of the old people that used to go to bed like at nine o'clock. Right.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

And and now it's a blessing. It is a blessing. I'm in bed at 7:30 every night. Are you? Yes, I am watching interesting things, but I can't wait to get into bed with my little babies. Well, I I is there anything else you can think of that you wouldn't do now? Um well, I tried bike riding. First day I did it, I fell. You never rode a bike as a child? Of course. But I tried to get into it again, and it was a big mistake because one thing about getting older is losing your balance. Oh, please, I can't get my butt on the seat. I know, and I feel like I'm on a ship most of the time. Yeah. Waving back and forth and back and forth. So bike riding, ice skating, anything that really I don't even think I could stay on a scooter at this point, but I'd love to try.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

I used to ice skate, but now I'd be afraid of of breaking bones. Yeah. Without question. That would that would not that would not add to my happiness.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

We're very brittle now, but not like a peanut. We are, we are very brittle, but but we're fun, but we're fun. Yes, we are. We're very excited.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

And we will we're open to discussion about what fun things we can do

Staying Active And Closing Wisdom

SPEAKER_01 5:59

being a senior citizen.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

For our last bat squeak, we want to encourage everyone to stay active, even though there are things we still wouldn't do. Plenty of you are out there hiking and swimming and just having a blast. So do whatever it is that you feel safe doing and enjoy doing. Grab your friends and do things together. Um, for me personally, and I think for Shelly as well, shopping is my favorite sport. Um, if it was an Olympic sport, I would have gold medals hanging all over my neck, but then how would I be able to pick my head up?

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Well, since we do have the disposable income and we're not getting paid for this podcast. Right, we can afford to go shopping.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Well, shopping, yes, shopping is an art, shopping is an art and a skill without a question. So, anyway, folks, we're happy to be back and we look forward to flying out of our little belfry next time. And we'll leave you with this. Remember, age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.