Sermon: I Love You But Do You Love Me?

5/10/2026 Rev. Kevin Johnson North Raleigh UMC

Discover the hidden lessons in the Prodigal Son parable that reveal profound truths about God's love, grace, and our spiritual identity. This powerful biblical story explores two different struggles with divine love: feeling unworthy versus feeling overlooked. Learn why the older brother's jealousy represents a common challenge for faithful believers and how taking God's blessings for granted can damage our relationship with Him.

Explore key themes including sibling rivalry in biblical history, the difference between earned and unmerited grace, and why God's love isn't a competition. Understand how divine grace operates differently from worldly economics and why someone else receiving God's blessing doesn't diminish what's available to you.

This message addresses common spiritual struggles like jealousy among believers, taking God's love for granted, questioning our belovedness, and learning to cultivate gratitude for daily blessings. Discover practical ways to recognize God's constant presence and remember your identity as His beloved child.

Perfect for anyone wrestling with feelings of spiritual inadequacy, jealousy toward other believers, or questions about God's love. Learn how to respond when God asks Do you love me and find freedom from comparison and competition in your faith journey.

Key topics covered: biblical parables explained, understanding God's grace, overcoming spiritual jealousy, cultivating gratitude, remembering your identity in Christ, responding to God's love, and finding security in divine acceptance.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, today we're going to continue in our series, I Love You But. And in that series, we've really been focusing a lot on our person-to-person relationships. Some of those are closest relationships that we feel, and some of them, some maybe some relationships that are estranged. Today we're going to be focusing a little bit more on our relationship with God. And we're going to be doing that through the lens of the story known as the prodigal son. I invite you to hear that story again in Luke chapter 15, starting in verse 11. Jesus said, A certain man had two sons. The younger son said to his father, Father, give me my share of the inheritance. Then the father divided his estate between them. Soon afterward, the younger son gathered everything together and took a trip to a land far away. There he wasted his wealth through extravagant living. When he had used up his resources, a severe food shortage arose in that country, and he began to be in need. He hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. He longed to eat his fill from what the pigs ate, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, How many of my father's hired hands have more than enough food, but I am starving to death? I will get up and go to my father and say to him, Father, I've sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son. Take me on as one of your hired hands. So he got up and went to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion. His father ran to him, hugged him, and kissed him. Then his father son said, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Quickly, bring out the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, fetch the fattened calf, and slaughter it. We must celebrate with feasting, because this son of mine was dead and has come back to life. He was lost and is found, and they began to celebrate. Now his older son was in the field. Coming in from the field, he approached the house and heard music and dancing. He called one of the servants and asked what was going on. The servant replied, Your brother has arrived, and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he received his son back safe and sound. Then the older son was furious and didn't want to enter in. But his father came out and begged him. He answered his father, Look, I've served you all these years, and I never disobeyed your instruction, yet you've never given me as much as a young goat, so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours returned, after gobbling up your estate on prostitutes, you slaughtered the fattened calf for him. Then his father said, Son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive. He was lost and is found. This is the word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God. Let us pray. O Lord, let the words of my mouth and the thoughts and meditations of all of our hearts be pleasing in your sight. For you, O Lord, are our rock and our redeemer. Amen. I've always been kind of jealous of the bad boy testimony. As a teenager, I would hear those stories of the kid who had turned to gang life and now had turned his life around, or the one who drank like a fish starting in the eighth grade and was now clean. And I felt like as a teenager, maybe I should sin better. I'd have a good story to tell. Now we still these still hear these stories sometimes as adults. We hear about the murderer who was introduced to Jesus on death row and his life was turned around. We hear about the human trafficker who heard the call of Jesus, like Paul, on Damascus Road. We tell these stories so that we can see just how far God's love will go, that God loves that person even. So of course God can love you. But internally, these stories get kind of messed up in my head. Instead of recognizing the immense grace of God, I start to feel jealous of the one who's telling and sharing their story. I start to wonder if I've even been saved or been rescued. After all, I wasn't doing anything that bad. This is where our series takes us. Today, we feel like we're telling God sometimes, I love you, but do you love me? This is a common occurrence in the life of discipleship, in the life of following Jesus. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, wanted to know, wanted to be assured that he was truly saved. He preached and taught significantly about it, always wanting to know and be assured of his salvation. Sometimes we're just not really that sure if God loves us. We might get to a time in our journey when we've convinced ourselves that this whole God thing might not be real, that any experience we had has maybe just been conjured up in our heads, and we feel kind of meh about faith. For me, today, the story of the prodigal son begins not with the description of the youngest son and his antics, not with the description of his repentance and his turning around, not even with the father's lavish welcome of him. No, it begins right here in verse 25. Now his older son was in the field. Coming in from the field, he approached the house and heard music and dancing. I have always identified in this story with the older son. Maybe it's a touch of first child syndrome. But I imagine that a lot of us here today, us church-going Methodists, can feel a little bit like the older son. So he's out in the field, he asks one of the workers, hey, what's going on here? I hear the music. Seems like there's a party going on, and I didn't know about it. The servant replied, Your brother has arrived, and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he received his son back safe and sound. Then the older son was furious and didn't want to enter in. The older son burns with rage about his younger brother. He has been left high and dry by this kid. His brother ruined the potential of their estate by asking for his inheritance early, basically wishing his father was dead and selling off part of the land. His brother left him high and dry to care for the affairs of the estate all by himself. And now he comes back and is just made whole, just like that, forgiven? Without an ounce of shame for what he has done? The stories of brothers and jealousy go all the way back to the first brothers. Cain is jealous of Abel's offering and kills him. Later in Genesis, Jacob tricks Esau and his father Isaac into receiving the birthright and the blessing. Jacob's sons continue the legacy of jealousy with Joseph by managing to have him sent away to Egypt and posing his death to Jacob. Jealousy within a family creates immense hurt and pain. I think that's why Jesus' story resonates so strongly here of the prodigal son. We can find ourselves within it, and I find myself as the older brother a lot of the time. Henry Nowen was a beloved Catholic priest and a phenomenal writer. He wrote this little book called The Life of the Beloved. And he considers how we forget our belovedness that God speaks over our lives. He writes, the world tells you many lies about who you are, and you simply have to be realistic enough to remind yourself of this. Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself, these feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. In our story today, the older brother feels hurt, offended, and rejected. He questions if his father even loves him. He sounds like a child begging for his father's approval and attention, jealous that his screw-up brother is getting all of the attention. His father, right, has been longing for this day. We get the picture like the father is waiting out at the gates outside of their compound, waiting and looking for the younger son to return home. And the older brother is so tired of it. So he answers his father, look, I've served you all these years, and I never disobeyed your instruction. Yet you've never given me as much as a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours returned after gobbling up your estate on prostitutes, you slaughtered the fattened calf for him. The older brother thinks that his father doesn't truly love him. He feels like he has loved his father through obedience or at least by not being a shameful mark on the family like his little brother, and he is hurt. So he questions inside, do you love me? We imagine this question is coming from us. But really the one asking is God. God is the one who can truly ask of us, do you love me? Remember Jesus with Peter after he's resurrected? He's on the shoreline with him, and Peter is sitting with Jesus. And Jesus asked him, Simon Peter, do you love me? And Peter replies, Yes, Lord, you know I love you. And Jesus says, Feed my sheep. He does this three times with Peter, just like Peter had denied Jesus three times on the night of his death. Jesus has shown his love to Peter on the cross. Now Peter has the opportunity to love him in return. You see, we can love God only because God first loves us. This is the assurance that we crave. It's not, does God even love me, but am I open to the work of God in my life? Do I really believe that God can work through me? Henry Nowin writes, God is a lover who wants to be loved. God not only says, You are my beloved, God also asks, Do you love me? And offers us countless chances to say yes. Friends, our lives are the opportunity to say yes back to God over and over. Every time that you are here in worship, you can respond with yes back to God. Every day when you wake up, you can recognize the love of God for you, God's yes to you, and you can offer your life once again as the opportunity to say yes to God. What does the father do in this story with the older brother? He comes out to the older brother. He leaves the party and begs him to come in. You see, God does not want us to languish or pout outside of God's kingdom. The father wants us to join God's party of reconciliation and of love. But sometimes we don't get it. We want God to tell us that our little brother will receive his due punishment. We think that we will feel better if he gets his just desserts. We struggle to fathom and to accept the immense generosity of God, especially that of God to others. Nowin writes that this is the great spiritual mystery. To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected. Listen to that. To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected. We think of God in our capitalistic competitive mindset. Of course, in the life with God, there are winners and losers. So the older brother feels that the younger brother has stolen a piece of his pie. He is not being rewarded for being the good son and being there the whole time. It's not fair. But who's the lost son in this story? Is it not the older son? He, after all, is the one who is estranged. He is the one who has cut himself off from relationship, even though he never left the farm. It makes me think of another parable Jesus tells about the workers in the vineyard. And in that story, the owner of the vineyard goes looking for help in his vineyard. And some of the guys come and come work for him starting at 8 a.m. And he says, I'm going to pay you a denarius, which was a day's wage. And then some others come and they start working at noon, and he says, I'm going to pay you a denarius, right? Not per hour. He's going to pay them a day rate, right? And some others come and they start working at three, and some others come and they start working at five. And with all of them, the owner agrees he's going to pay them each the same. And we get to the end of the story, and the workers who were there all day, they start to complain. And it says, when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner. Those who were hired last worked one hour. And they received the same pay as we did, even though we had to work the whole day in the hot sun. But he replied to one of them, Friend, I did you no wrong. Didn't I agree to pay you a denarium? Take what belongs to you and go. I want to give to this one who was hired last the same as I give to you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with what belongs to me? Or are you resentful because I'm generous? The vineyard owner, right? Are you resentful because I'm generous? God asks us, are you resentful because I'm generous? There it is. To be chosen does not mean that others are rejected. As older brothers, we are already in the field working for the vineyard owner. We are already in the presence of the Father, but we want to be special and we don't want anyone else to get those gifts. Especially the ones who haven't done the right things and don't earn it. We don't love the God of generous and extravagant grace when we're in the mindset of the older brother. God's love is supposed to come to those who work hard for it, who pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and deserve it, we grumble to ourselves. After the older son's temper tantrum, the father simply assures him, Son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. Everything I have is yours. The older son is already dressed as a son. He has the signet ring on, he has the robe on, he never took it off, but he has to be reminded once again of who he is. And the father is telling him even when you do the wrong thing, the privilege of being my child is not withdrawn from you. And when the father does the right thing, the son gets to join in and be part of the party with him. You see, we don't like the generosity of God to the younger son. Then we recognize that God's generosity is also to me. The older son could not sing the first line of Amazing Grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. The older son would get stopped up, unable to say the word wretch when referring to himself. He did not identify as a wretch. That was his younger brother. But there is a humility that comes with true assurance. We are all, my friends, adopted children of God, and none of us deserves that adoption. The younger son gets it right when he's prepared to tell his father, I no longer deserve to be called your son. Sometimes we who identify with the older son take being in God's family for granted. We grow accustomed to it, thinking that we have earned it or deserved a seat at God's table. Friends, how do we recover a sense of awe? How can we recognize just how much God is blessing us? Henry Nowen calls this the cultivation of presence. He says, by presence I mean attentiveness to the blessings that come to you day after day, year after year. The problem of modern living is that we are too busy to notice that we are being blessed. The older brother forgot that he's been with the Father the whole entire time, receiving the blessings of sonship daily. He takes it for granted. Friends, you are a part of God's family. You are beloved by God. When you aren't at the party, when you've forgotten who you are, God runs to you and begs you to come. Will you answer him when he asks you, I love you, but do you love me? Let us pray. Oh Lord God. We love that you are the one who runs after his children in these stories. You run to the ones of us who are petulant, who have turned away from you, who are far off physically, emotionally, who have turned away. God, you run to us. And for those of us who feel like we've tried to do the right things, who feel like that older brother, you run out to us too, welcoming us to your party of reconciliation and love that leaves no one out. So God help us. Help us to recognize your great love for us. Help us to say yes each day. Help us to say yes today, wherever we each come from today, God. Help us to respond with love to you through the power of your Holy Spirit. Amen.