How to Handle Change w/ Ashley Bohinc

Welcome to another exciting episode of the Collide Kids Podcast! Host Christen Clark talks with Ashley Bohinc, an expert in supporting middle schoolers with over 20 years of experience in education, athletics, and ministry.

Ashley, founder and CEO of Make it Middle School and Executive Director of Carry 117 a non-profit in Ethiopia, joins Christen to discuss navigating the beautiful and challenging transitions of middle school life. Ashley's insights and practical advice are invaluable for families and students in middle school, or getting ready to enter this transformative period.

The conversation dives into handling change, fostering open family dialogues, and the importance of our faith. Ashley's personal stories and wisdom make this episode a must-listen for anyone facing life's transitions. Plus Kids Only segment featuring Presley!

Clip Finder: 

The Inevitable Changes of Growing Up: "What I've learned after 20 plus years is not only does your body start changing when it comes to, you know, the changes that happen during puberty in middle school, but your friendships might start changing a lot. You start changing classes, your interests might start changing. Your, you know, the way that you think about things or your opinion on things might change. Your friendships, for sure, will change."
— Ashley Bohinc [00:09:31 → 00:09:53]

Navigating Middle School: "Be ready for change and have a family plan for when change happens."
— Ashley Bohinc [00:10:11 → 00:10:16]

Navigating Change: "The truth is we're all human. Like, we've all walked through these things and just happens to be."
— Ashley Bohinc [00:12:40 → 00:12:46]

**Creating Meaningful Conversations with Your Preteen**: "I love the idea of even a parent asking their preteen or middle schooler, like, what are three questions that you would be totally fine with me asking when you get home from school every day?"
— Ashley Bohinc [00:14:37 → 00:14:49]

Navigating Big Emotions During Change: "And so a lot of times when somebody asks us about it, we have an outpour of those emotions before we can even get to what's causing it."
— Ashley Bohinc [00:15:58 → 00:16:07]

"Drifting Apart in Friendships": "And just because you drift apart in a friendship doesn't mean you don't like each other. It doesn't mean you can't be for each other."
— Ashley Bohinc [00:18:52 → 00:19:00]

Friendships Over Time: "As I think through my life, like, there are friends that were there for a season of life. And I'm so grateful for them. They taught me so much. They helped me become a better version of myself, and then they moved on... And then there are friends, just a couple that I can see like, woven through a lot of seasons of my life, and I'm grateful for that."
— Ashley Bohinc [00:20:19 → 00:20:31]

Parent Participation Hilarity: "Well, we did a bring your parent to basketball practice day, and I don't think I have laughed so hard in my entire life

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Transcript

Christen Clark [00:00:21]:

Let's do it. Hey, y'all, welcome to the Collide Kids Podcast. I'm your host, Christen Clark. The Collide Kids Podcast is a show for kids and families where we learn together how life and faith collide. I am so excited that you guys are listening today. Thank you so much for being here and spending this time with me. Hey, if this is your first time listening, I just want to remind you that the end of every episode is the kids only segment where kids just like you get to be on the Podcast. So be sure to stick around and listen for those.

Christen Clark [00:00:58]:

They're a lot of fun. Well, I am so excited that it's the first day in October and I looked it up online and, you know, everything online is true. So I found out that October 1 is actually quite a few holidays celebrated. Like for example, October 1 is National Black Dog day. So if you have a dog that's black, it's. It's your holiday. It's also national Pumpkin Spice Day. So celebrations for that, for me, I need to go and get me a latte.

Christen Clark [00:01:30]:

I think it's also national fruit at work Day. So if you don't take fruit to work on normal days, I think today is a good day to do that. It's National Taco Day, which is the first Tuesday in October. I mean, in my family, everything is taco day. We love tacos. My favorite though is today is national homemade Cookies Day. So I cannot think of better ways to celebrate October 1 then to make some homemade cookies, have a pumpkin spice latte, enjoy an apple at your job, and have a taco with your black dog. Sounds fun to me.

Christen Clark [00:02:03]:

Lots of fun options. Well, today is a very special conversation, especially if you are a family that has someone in middle school or heading to middle school in a few years. I am really excited to introduce you to our guests for today. Her name is Ashley Bohinc and she has dedicated the last 20 years to serving the next generation in educational, athletic and ministry settings. Ashley Bohinc serves as the founder and CEO of Make it Middle School where she is determined to help people create more meaningful resources, programs and experiences for middle schoolers in both churches and school systems. Ashley is a sought after speaker, coach, consultant, creator and evangelist who is known for her energy, passion and authenticity when it comes to making a difference in the next generation. Ashley also serves as the executive director of Carry 117, a ministry based in Ethiopia that focuses on orphan prevention and family preservation through empowering women. When she's not trying to change lives or change the world, you'll find Ashley working in her garden, traveling, or unpacking the meaning behind the latest Taylor Swift lyrics.

Christen Clark [00:03:12]:

If you have a middle schooler or are approaching the age of middle school, I think you're really going to enjoy this conversation with my friend, Ashley Bohinc . Well, Ashley, I am so excited to have you on the collide kids Podcast today.

Ashley Bohinc [00:03:38]:

Thank you so much for inviting me.

Christen Clark [00:03:40]:

Yeah, this is so fun. We were just talking earlier like I know of you. We've passed each other in many different conferences and things like that. Would you just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Ashley Bohinc [00:03:51]:

So I am Ashley and for the last 20 plus years have been working with preteen middle school and high school students in first, the education setting, meaning I was a teacher in the public schools.

Christen Clark [00:04:06]:

Nice.

Ashley Bohinc [00:04:06]:

And I taught your favorite subject, health education. And then I coached high school varsity soccer and middle school club soccer for many years. And then I transitioned over into being a middle school pastor at two different churches and then worked at a publishing company where I led our middle school department and created resources, curriculum and resources for anyone who works for the next generation. Parents, volunteers, ministry leaders. And now I just, you know, I also have a nonprofit in Ethiopia that I love so much and travel there so often. I love having my hand in a lot of things, but I am more convinced than ever that this next generation is going to be the generation that changes things in this world. And I'm, I'm here for it.

Christen Clark [00:04:57]:

Yeah. And I love that you work with middle schoolers and that your whole, your whole life has been really about encouraging and supporting middle schoolers and middle schooler families. So a lot of families right now, their ears have perked up because they heard middle school and they know that that's coming or maybe they're already in that season. So they're excited to hear from you today. Okay, before we get into your story, because this is a show for kids, I always ask my guests to tell me a joke. So do you have a joke for us today?

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:24]:

Okay. In the spirit of former teacher.

Christen Clark [00:05:28]:

Okay.

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:29]:

Why did the math book look sad?

Christen Clark [00:05:32]:

Oh, I don't know. Why did the math book look sad?

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:35]:

Because it had too many problems.

Christen Clark [00:05:38]:

That's true.

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:39]:

It's true.

Christen Clark [00:05:40]:

It is true. It has a lot of problems. Yeah. Math was not my favorite subject.

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:45]:

I liked it because there was like an actual answer. Like I could tell if I, if I won or not, but I get the answer, right?

Christen Clark [00:05:52]:

Right.

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:53]:

I remember, you know, like the time test, in the 1 minute test, you have to do like all the multiplication.

Christen Clark [00:05:58]:

Yeah.

Ashley Bohinc [00:05:59]:

I was the annoying kid who raced to the front, slammed my paper down so I could be first done.

Christen Clark [00:06:06]:

Yeah, well, that's the competitive part of you, right? I. Okay, good. I love a good math joke. Okay, well, let's talk a little bit about, first, I want to hear about your nonprofit in Ethiopia. How did that get started?

Ashley Bohinc [00:06:20]:

Well, because I have an undergrad degree in health education, my actually favorite class I ever took in my undergrad degree. It was an entire semester study on HIV AIDS and the pandemic that happened. And I learned about how that pandemic wiped out an entire generation of parents on the african continent. And that's how the, one of the reasons the orphan crisis happened. And so I wanted to learn more about it. And as a health teacher, I taught units on HIV AIDS and communicable and non communicable diseases. And that was actually the first thing that made me interested in going and serving abroad. And when I went for the first time in 2010, I met some incredible leaders in Ethiopia, Ethiopians who were doing so much like amazing work and change in their own communities.

Ashley Bohinc [00:07:15]:

And they had hearts and visions for ministries. And I was like, well, I'll come alongside you. Like, I love that. I love that you want to start an empowerment program to help keep families together, to help women support their children, send their own children to school, put food on the table, put a roof over their house. And so I voluntarily lead the whole us side of the organization. It's fully owned and operated by Ethiopians. And I take teams of people over there, I take parent kid duos over. And I really love it.

Ashley Bohinc [00:07:51]:

We go serve. And yeah, there's ways to get involved on this side of the water and ways to get involved on the other side of the water.

Christen Clark [00:07:58]:

That's awesome. Well, let's talk a little bit about this whole idea of change. Like change is coming, the leaves are changing on the trees outside. And I think that just reminds us of how much our lives change from season to season. We just finished summer, we were just laying out by the pool, and now we're in the middle of school year with all the sports and all the activities. And I don't know, I think sometimes it's easy for us to move into the season of change and sometimes it's not. So. Will you talk a little bit about that.

Ashley Bohinc [00:08:32]:

Oh, my gosh. If there's one word or phrase that I would use to describe this season of development, it would be change. You know, moving into middle school or starting middle school, I think there is so much change in the next few years ahead, and that can be thrilling for some people, and that can be absolutely terrifying for others. Like, I know for me, I love change, but I don't love to be surprised by change.

Christen Clark [00:08:59]:

Right.

Ashley Bohinc [00:09:00]:

And I have friends and family members who do not like change. They like things to be the exact same way that they've always been because it's predictable. And I understand that like we are, there's a whole spectrum of where people fall, being comfortable with change. In fact, that's a conversation you should have with your family in the car, is how comfortable, on a scale of one to ten, are you with change? Because I bet you you would be all over the mata. But what I've learned after 20 plus years is not only do your, does your body start changing when it comes to, you know, the changes that happen during puberty in middle school, but your friendships might start changing a lot. You start changing classes, your interests might start changing. Your, you know, the way that you think about things or your opinion on things might change. Your friendships, for sure, will change.

Ashley Bohinc [00:09:53]:

And sometimes that's on purpose. Sometimes it's just because you don't have lunch period together anymore or you don't share any classes, so you don't see them as often. And so I think one thing I always say to anyone entering middle school and to any parent entering the middle school phase is be ready for change and have a family plan for when change happens. How do you talk about change? How do you talk about or wave the flag that you're having some trouble with a change? How do you process hard change or change that doesn't feel good? How do you celebrate great change? Because I think when we expect it, we aren't caught off guard when change happens, and we're able to respond to it in a way that we feel proud of, in a way that we've had time to process this and prepare for it. And so I really think that preparing for a season of change is really important for families to do together, for people to open those conversations.

Christen Clark [00:10:57]:

A good way to think about it, too, is to prepare for it, because we know it's coming, whether we want it to or not. So what are some things that we can do as a family to prepare for that? I love that you said that, like, first of all, having those conversations. But what are some ways that we can think through these scenarios that might come up because we don't want to get so caught up in the what ifs also, right?

Ashley Bohinc [00:11:19]:

Totally. I think it would be cool. Like, I know every family dynamic has a different way of communicating. And sometimes, like making jokes about things and joking about things makes it easier to talk about something hard. Sometimes it makes it harder to talk about something hard. So I think it would be really important. Like, as you're looking at what the next few years look like, if you want to have a conversation and you don't know how to have the conversation, maybe there's like a word or a phrase your family comes up with and it's like, it's almost like giving everybody the heads up. Like, hey, I have something we need to talk about, but I don't know how to talk about it so I'm just going to tell everybody that up front.

Ashley Bohinc [00:11:55]:

So I don't know. Like, maybe it's like, I don't know, maybe it's a quote from a movie. Maybe it's an accent that you use to say it in. And whatever your family does as your inside jokes, like, I think that would be important to have like a word or a phrase that you can say when you're like or text, whatever it is to tell the family that you have a change. You're navigating and you're trying to find out how you feel about it and what you think about it or even what questions to ask about it. And like, is this a normal change or am I the only one on the planet that's feeling this way? Because I think a lot of times when we go through change, we think we're the only parent feeling that way or we're the only eleven year old feeling that way. And the truth is we're all human. Like, we've all walked through these things and just happens to be.

Ashley Bohinc [00:12:46]:

We walk through them at different times. And I think if we can open the doors to those conversations, the change actually becomes a place we can grow a lot. Like you mentioned, Christen, if you live in a place where you get to see the beautiful fall leaves changing right now, there's something about their change that's absolutely beautiful. It makes us slow down in the car or look up on a walk at a tree or take a picture and takes our breath away or want to go chase these beautiful leaves that are falling from the sky. There's something beautiful about it, even though it's hard.

Christen Clark [00:13:21]:

Yeah, it's interesting because I'm thinking of, like, my kids are in middle school now, and I feel like there are times where I don't want to, like, overwhelm my kids, especially when they're, like, getting ready to go into that phase. I don't want to ask a ton of questions because they're like, mom, chill out, you know? But also, I think the best conversations that we've had are when I talk about my experiences with that scenario or with that type of change and letting them know, like, yeah, I've walked through this before. This is what I dealt with. These are the emotions that I felt. I think that's always something that we forget. And in our parent arsenal, bag of things to help is we forget that we have gone through this before. And so spending some time maybe thinking through what that was like for us, whether it was good or bad, you could still share that with your kids and kind of give them insight into how you deal with things like that.

Ashley Bohinc [00:14:14]:

I love that it makes you more human as a parent to your kid when you do that. And I know there are situations where maybe your preteen or middle schooler feels like you just don't understand, and maybe that's the case, but it's really important to have that type of a conversation. I love the idea of experience sharing. I love the idea of even a parent asking their preteen or middle schooler, like, what are three questions that you would be totally fine with me asking when you get home from school every day? Give me ideas of what those questions are. That way they have choice in what you're asking about. Or you can tell them, like, hey, every day when you get home, I'm going to ask. These questions here are different. You know, you can tell me about what you learned in class.

Ashley Bohinc [00:15:07]:

You can talk. Tell me about what you talked about with your friends or on the bus or at recess or whatever. Like, but I just want you to know, I'm going to ask these questions just because I want to know about your life. And I want to know as you're navigating these changes, maybe one of the questions is, I'm going to ask you every week or every day, was there anything that happened today that made you laugh really hard? Is there anything that happened today that made you sad or that you're still thinking about whether it was like, oh, something somebody said about you to you or you overheard or a way they looked at you or something like that? Because it really helps you have those hard conversations if during change, it's sometimes we're not great at asking for help. Or we have these feelings associated with change. We feel insecure, we feel lonely, we feel angry, we feel frustrated. And so a lot of times when somebody asks us about it, we have an outpour of those emotions before we can even get to what's causing it. And so I think setting the tone for change is going to happen.

Ashley Bohinc [00:16:12]:

How do we want to talk about it if we need to have a hard conversation? Where's your favorite place to talk? Is it shoulder to shoulder in the car? On a drive? Is it out in nature on a walk together? Is it sitting face to face, having a frappuccino? Is it getting ice cream? Is it walking the dog? Like, what. What is our thing gonna be that? Well, we need to have some of those conversations about change. Where do we want to do that? And create almost like a safe place for those conversations to happen.

Christen Clark [00:16:41]:

Yeah. And it's important for parents to spend most of the time listening more than giving advice and trying to solve the problems, because I think that's a big thing for change, for parents going through this is recognizing this transition from there. They were little kids, and now they're getting bigger and they're getting older and they're getting more independent, and we want to continue to foster that in a good way. And so one way is definitely to listen.

Ashley Bohinc [00:17:10]:

I love that.

Christen Clark [00:17:11]:

One of the big things that I know a lot of kids are dealing with or nervous about as they're transitioning, like maybe they have to go to a new school or they're going to be in different area that they're not used to or whatever, is just that whole, like, they have this solid group of friends. And friendships change so much throughout our whole lives, but that hard to imagine the older you get. So would you talk a little bit about that? About that change? Like how kids can help prepare themselves for their friendships changing and how they can build some really good friendships.

Ashley Bohinc [00:17:45]:

Yeah. And I think the idea of friendships changing can feel overwhelming because we all really value our friends, and your friends matter a lot and you want to be included in things. I totally understand. I remember feeling that way, and I have those conversations on a weekly basis with students. But I would say friendships change because interests change. So you might be really interested in play Doh, and then all of a sudden you decide, well, I actually really love graphic design instead. You know, like, it's a. It's still.

Ashley Bohinc [00:18:20]:

You're in the art space, but you decide instead of, like, building things with play Doh or dough of some kind, you're changing to graphic artists, and there's nothing wrong with that. And there's nothing wrong with your friend saying, no, I still want to play with play Doh. I don't want to do graphic design. That's totally fine. It's just as you start to get better at that interest, you still have things in common, but you're not working on the same thing anymore. So what happens is then you start to find other friends who like graphic design and other friends who like play Doh, and you start to spend time with them as well. And just because you drift apart in a friendship doesn't mean you don't like each other. It doesn't mean you can't be for each other.

Ashley Bohinc [00:19:00]:

Just because you're not in the same classes doesn't mean you can't hang out outside of school, although that might happen. And, you know, sometimes friendships need to change because you need to make them change, because maybe they're not being the best influence on you, or maybe you're not being a great influence on them, or maybe you. You need a different kind of support. In a season, you can choose to change friendships, and sometimes friendships change without you choosing them to. And both of them are okay. And you can do that well by making sure you're listening to yourself and honoring yourself in it, and you're honoring them. And it's especially important, as those friendships change, that you communicate with them if you can. But you always think about, how do I want them to talk about me when I'm not there? Because that's how probably the filter you should think about, how should I talk about them when they're not here anymore in this class or at this lunch period or on this team, right? So I think it's actually beautiful.

Ashley Bohinc [00:20:01]:

I think about who I was friends with in elementary school and who I was friends with in the beginning of middle school, end of middle school and high school when I. When it was soccer season, during high school, and then it was basketball season during high school, and I was closer with friends who played soccer with me during soccer season, then closer with basketball friends when it was basketball season. And then, like, as I think through my life, like, there are friends that were there for a season of life. And I'm so grateful for them. They taught me so much. They helped me become a better version of myself, and then they moved on. And God brought other people into their life, and I'm cheering them on from a distance, and I'm grateful for that. And then there are friends, just a couple that I can see like, woven through a lot of seasons of my life, and I'm grateful for that.

Ashley Bohinc [00:20:45]:

Just being open handed and not, like, gripping onto friendships and, like, who did God put in my class this year? Who did God put on the bus? I moved to a new town. Who are my new neighbors? Like, maybe I can make new friends who are going to bring out something in me that I have never seen in myself yet. And so I think it can actually be a really exciting thing. Even when it's scary.

Christen Clark [00:21:08]:

Yeah, absolutely. And I think as you go through it, just to keep in mind, like my mom used to always say to us, friends will come and go, but your family is always your family. And so it was really an important thing for us to lean into our relationship with our family members, our siblings, our cousins, because those are people that you're always going to be tied to in some way. And as you go through those changes, it's good to have that anchor of good family. Or even if your family is a chosen family, like, you know, your church group or people that you grew up with in your neighborhood, it's still really important to foster and to take care of those relationships. So.

Ashley Bohinc [00:21:48]:

Totally, I agree. I. My siblings and I, there's four of us. We're all, like, 14 months apart, so we all were, like, one grade apart in school. And I'm so grateful for that because I know that can be hard to have siblings that close in age to you. But it was really cool because I feel like we all kind of were going through the change together, and we had, like you said, like, built in besties that we could lean on. And when everything else around us was changing, our family unit, for us, thankfully, it was a steady thing. I know that's not true for everybody.

Ashley Bohinc [00:22:23]:

It's not true for every family. There might be a lot of change happening in your family. Maybe your siblings are older and they're going away to school, to college for the first time, or they've moved out and they got married and. Or maybe your blending families and all of that can be beautiful. All change. You can look for the good and for the lessons and how it's sharpened you and it's an opportunity for you to grow.

Christen Clark [00:22:43]:

Absolutely. That's good. I think another thing when I think of change is that there are some people that. I mean, you mentioned this before that have kind of a fear of things changing, that fear of the unknown or fear of what if I don't do well? What if it doesn't work out? What if I don't make any friends, what if all of this just my whole life falls apart? So what would you say to those people that are maybe facing some fears when it comes to changing?

Ashley Bohinc [00:23:11]:

Such a good question. First, I'll say it's normal. Even people who like change probably experience some fear. I even remember watching some interviews with the us women's gymnastics team at the Olympics, and they're talking about they're excited to be there, but they also are nervous, or they feel fear, even though they've been practicing this and they've been doing this. So I think fear in general is a human experience. And I would say the fear of the unknown, I totally understand. I think as I've gotten older, I'm starting to learn, like, everything's really the unknown, and we really don't have as much control as we think we have when we think we have it. And I think just the expectation of, well, I'm going to try it.

Ashley Bohinc [00:23:58]:

It may not go well. We'll see if it doesn't go well. I'll either laugh at myself or I'll pick myself up and we'll try it a different way. And I think, just, like, playing that out in your head instead of, like, ruminating and thinking, like, what if this doesn't go well? What if I'm bad at this? What if I, you know, what a. Whoa, what a what if? But play out, like, okay, what if I try out for this team and I don't make it? Okay, that's not the end of the world. If I don't try out for this, if I try out for this team and I don't make it, then I will go, try this, or I'll try that. You know? So playing it out in your head so that the fear isn't what's controlling you, you are actually moving forward regardless of what the outcome is.

Christen Clark [00:24:39]:

And it reminds me of, oh, Inside Out 2, where, like, that new anxiety, another great movie. But when anxiety shows up, she has, like, all the luggage. And I'm like, that's true. Because it brings so much where we think, like, I'm not gonna be able to deal with this, but if we kind of let it play out. And sometimes that helps. I think if you do struggle with anxiety, it's good to have that trusted friend or adult that can help you process those feelings. Cause the more we talk about those things and put them out there, they're not ruminating in our mind and our heart, and we're not alone in that. We can have someone else to say, okay, I know you think that that might be true, but actually, this is what's true, or this is what's gonna happen.

Christen Clark [00:25:18]:

And so, um. Yeah, so, really having that friend or someone that we can help to process those things will help with that fear of change, because that is. That is a real thing, for sure.

Ashley Bohinc [00:25:29]:

And focusing on, like, what doesn't change, even in the fear of change, like, that you matter, that God is good, that God promises to be with you, that you were created for a purpose and with a purpose, that you have a family who supports you and is for you, you know, that you have goals, like, the things that aren't necessarily changing. Even if you have this fear that everything is changing, it's important to remind yourself of that, because even in the midst of change, remember, God promises to be with us in it, not that change won't happen, but then when we go through it, we can go through it with God in a relationship.

Christen Clark [00:26:08]:

Right. And I think, too, we forget, too, that God is still in control. And maybe it was his plan for us to go through that change for our good. And so when we trust in who God is, we may not know what he's doing, but we can trust in who he is and that he has better plans than we do. That's one of my favorite Bible verses, by the way, is that, you know, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, his ways are better than our ways. And so just leaning into that knowledge that we know that God's stuff is better than our stuff, so we just need to trust in him totally.

Ashley Bohinc [00:26:43]:

And even as an adult, like, there are things that I go through that I'm like, okay, God, like, I do not understand this. I do not understand why this has to be hard. My feelings feel hurt. I can't see how you're gonna make something great out of this, but, okay, I'm just gonna trust that you're good and that you see a way bigger picture than I do. And, you know, there are still some things I'm trying to see what God is doing with that or why that piece was moved in my life, or it's something like that. So I think it's something we. A skill we need to learn for our whole life, not just for middle school.

Christen Clark [00:27:18]:

That is so true. Well, Ashley, this has been so great. I've loved getting to talk to you today, and I know that there's a lot of people that will really appreciate your insights on middle schoolers, especially. So for those families that want to find out more about you, where can they go to follow you? And find you?

Ashley Bohinc [00:27:35]:

Yeah, I'm pretty active on social media platforms. Instagram is the one that I use mainly, so it's at @ashleymariebohinc. We can drop that probably in the show notes.

Christen Clark [00:27:45]:

Absolutely.

Ashley Bohinc [00:27:45]:

On my website. Ashleybohinc.com. reach out, dm me, email me, contact, whatever. I would love to hear from you.

Christen Clark [00:27:52]:

Yeah. And you had a book that came out a little while ago called Communicating to Middle Schoolers. Is that what it is? And it's for church leaders and people that work with middle schoolers. But you said you've had a lot of parents that have enjoyed it.

Ashley Bohinc [00:28:05]:

Yeah, and I didn't see that coming, to be honest. Like it, but it makes total sense. I had, like, it was originally written for people who are teachers in a classroom or lead a small group or they teach students from the front of the room. But so many of the principles translate to parenting as well. In the face. I talk a lot about knowing middle schoolers developmentally and knowing them culturally. And here are some techniques to try when you're trying to engage a middle schooler in a conversation. And after it went live two years ago, the book, so many parents reached out to me and said, I know this wasn't written for me, but it was so helpful for me as a parent of ML score.

Ashley Bohinc [00:28:43]:

And I was like, you know, I'm like, maybe I need to make a parent version. I don't know, but that's really cool. That surprised me. I didn't see that coming, and I'm so grateful for it.

Christen Clark [00:28:53]:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's so good for just a resource for anybody that comes in contact with a middle schooler is just helping to learn, and to learn to better communicate in general is a great thing. So you guys definitely go check out Ashley's book. All right. So before I let you go, I always ask my guests to tell me a memory from when they were a kid. So do you have a memory you want to share from your childhood?

Ashley Bohinc [00:29:17]:

Oh, my gosh. You know, it's funny you ask this. Somebody the other day asked me what was one of my favorite memories from my teenage years. And the first thing that came to mind was, you know how, like, parents have to, like, bring your child to work with you day and so you get a chance to go, like, shadow your parent in their profession or their job. Well, we did a bring your parent to basketball practice day, and I don't think I have laughed so hard in my entire life. Like, I have this shared experience. My sister was on the team, and then we brought her mom. And if you've never brought your mom to basketball practice and who has no training in basketball and watched her play defense and try to do a layup or passing drills, like, I mean, and everybody brought their parent.

Ashley Bohinc [00:30:05]:

And so we. I mean, the parents were laughing. We were laughing. The coaches were crying, laughing. It was the most beautiful shared experience, like, total chaos in the best way. And I am so grateful for it because I literally texted my mom and my sister. I said, mom, remember when we brought you to basketball practice? And she's like, and I was the star. I'm like, sure, if you think so.

Ashley Bohinc [00:30:28]:

What was great about it was like everybody's parent was making a fool of themselves trying to keep up with us, and we got a chance to, like, you know, have the shared experience during what could be a pretty tumultuous time. So great.

Christen Clark [00:30:43]:

I love that our, my son's team, their coaches would always do that after baseball, like, the last practice of the season, they would invite the parents to come out, and it was kids against parents. And so we're all coming out there kind of reluctantly. And my son went up to bat, and he hit the ball, and it went square to me. And I put my hand out, and it was, like, miraculous. Like, I put my hand out and I caught the ball, and I got my son out and, like, mad respect from all the parents and the coaches. My son was like, mom.

Ashley Bohinc [00:31:17]:

Oh, my gosh. I love that.

Christen Clark [00:31:19]:

So I remind him of that often. Remember that time that I caught the ball that you hit? Right. He's. Thanks a lot.

Ashley Bohinc [00:31:26]:

Amazing.

Christen Clark [00:31:27]:

Thank you.

Ashley Bohinc [00:31:27]:

Thank you.

Christen Clark [00:31:28]:

I don't win a lot in parenting, but that was a win for sure.

Ashley Bohinc [00:31:31]:

It totally was a win. To any parent listening. You should organize a bring your parent to practice day with your kids team or whatever.

Christen Clark [00:31:41]:

Yes. It will go over very well, and it'll be a memory seared in their brains, for sure. Well, Ashley, thank you so much for being on the show today. This was so fun getting to talk to you.

Ashley Bohinc [00:31:52]:

Same. Thank you so much for having me. I love what you guys are doing. And good luck to all of you who are entering middle school. Parenting middle school. It's gonna be awesome.

Christen Clark [00:32:10]:

Wow. I am so glad I got to talk to Ashley today. She shared some great ideas, like, to start the conversation with each member of your family at some point about how they feel about change in general, because I think that's good for you to have that perspective of everyone in your family and be ready for change and have a family plan when it happens. We all know that change is going to happen. It's going to happen in different phases of life. What's most important is how we respond to it. I love when she was talking about friendships and reminded us that friendships are going to change too. And that's okay for relationships to change or sometimes drift apartheid because your interests or location changes.

Christen Clark [00:32:52]:

But it's especially important to be open handed with those relationships and embrace new friendships that come into your life. And she reminded us, when you are facing that fear of change, she said, focus on what is true. God is with you. He's for you. He loves you, and you have people that love you and support you in your life that are going to help you get through it. And you never know. Change could be a good thing in your life. If you like to learn more about Ashley, I encourage you to go to her website, ashleybohinc.com.

Christen Clark [00:33:24]:

you can also follow her on Instagram and definitely check out her book, Communicating to Middle Schoolers. If you are someone who works with middle schoolers or you have middle schoolers coming soon into your family, that would be such a great resource to have. Well, now it's time for the kids only segment. This is the part of the show where you get to be on the Podcast. So here is my friend Pressley.

Christen Clark [00:33:49]:

"Why did they not play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck."

Christen Clark [00:34:05]:

He was standing on the deck. That's a good one. I like that. Thank you, Presley. Hey, if you guys would like to be on the show show just like Presley was and share your favorite joke or maybe a song or your favorite bible verse, just head over to my website, collidekidsPodcast.com and click the tab at the top that says kids only. You can record it right there. Or you can send me a video through my social media. I'm on Facebook at the Collide Kids Podcast or on Instagram @collidekidspod.

Christen Clark [00:34:34]:

And you can just send me a DM with your video of you sharing your favorite joke or whatever you want to share. And speaking of social media, I'd love for you to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and share today's episode with someone who might need to hear it. And be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel, Collide Kids Podcast. YouTube channel. That's pretty easy to remember where you can watch the full length interview for today's episode. You know, a great way to support the Podcast is to leave a rating and a review on your Podcast app. When you do that, it really does help other people find out about the show and I really do love reading those and hearing what you think. You can also support the Podcast by heading over to my website, collidekidsPodcast.com and click the link at the top that says support.

Christen Clark [00:35:16]:

And anytime you think about it, I always appreciate your prayer support as well. Well, I hope you guys have a fantastic October 1 and get to celebrate in some fun way. And in case no one has told you today, I would love to be the first to remind you that God loves you so much. Thanks for listening.