WEBVTT 00:00:04.607 --> 00:00:09.474 The following resource is brought to you by Real Life Community Church in Richmond, Kentucky. 00:00:09.474 --> 00:00:14.471 We hope you're both challenged and encouraged by this message from Pastor Chris May. 00:00:16.161 --> 00:00:18.187 Matthew 18, beginning in 21,. 00:00:18.187 --> 00:00:25.204 Peter came up and said to Jesus Lord, how often will my brother sin against me? 00:00:25.204 --> 00:00:29.835 And I forgive him as many as seven times? 00:00:29.835 --> 00:00:36.612 Jesus said to him I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 00:00:36.612 --> 00:00:44.113 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 00:00:44.817 --> 00:00:49.573 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 00:00:49.573 --> 00:00:57.981 And since he could not pay, his master would order him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment be made. 00:00:57.981 --> 00:01:05.242 So the servant, he fell on his knees, imploring him have patience with me and I'll pay you everything. 00:01:05.242 --> 00:01:10.442 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 00:01:10.442 --> 00:01:23.623 But when that same servant went out, he found out of one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii and, seizing him, began to choke him, saying pay me what you owe. 00:01:23.623 --> 00:01:30.506 So his servant, his fellow servant, fell down and pleaded with him have patience with me, I will pay you. 00:01:30.506 --> 00:01:35.403 And he refused and he went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 00:01:35.403 --> 00:01:38.837 And when his fellow servants saw what had taken place. 00:01:38.837 --> 00:01:40.242 They were greatly distressed. 00:01:40.242 --> 00:01:43.936 They went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 00:01:43.936 --> 00:01:51.543 And then his master summoned him and said to him you, wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 00:01:51.543 --> 00:01:56.849 Should not you have mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you? 00:01:56.849 --> 00:02:02.209 And in his anger his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. 00:02:02.209 --> 00:02:05.397 So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you. 00:02:05.397 --> 00:02:10.969 If you do not forgive your brother from your heart, the word of the Lord and you may be seated. 00:02:10.969 --> 00:02:19.841 Well, in Matthew 18, we've been looking at four non-negotiable virtues of the kingdom of God. 00:02:19.841 --> 00:02:23.489 These are, by the way, marks of a true Christian. 00:02:23.489 --> 00:02:29.248 If we do not have these marks, it is highly likely that we are not truly in the kingdom of God. 00:02:29.248 --> 00:02:44.645 And so so far, we have looked at the virtue of humility, we have looked at the virtue of righteousness, we have looked last week at the virtue of love and today very hard hitting passage we're going to look at the virtue of forgiveness. 00:02:46.068 --> 00:02:56.161 I heard a story recently kind of humorous Years ago there was a man who got bit by a rabid dog, and this is before there was a cure for rabies. 00:02:56.161 --> 00:03:05.911 And so the man gets bit and he goes to the doctor and the doctor said listen, you have rabies and I'm sorry you're not going to live very long. 00:03:05.911 --> 00:03:08.165 He said, you want to get your affairs in order? 00:03:08.165 --> 00:03:18.787 So the man takes out a piece of paper and he starts writing down names and the doctor says to him he says, hey, it's so good you're taking this seriously, you're putting together your living will. 00:03:18.787 --> 00:03:20.891 He said that's not what I'm doing. 00:03:20.891 --> 00:03:24.430 These are the names of the people I want to bite before I die. 00:03:24.430 --> 00:03:40.450 Does that not illustrate the human disposition, the normal human disposition, that when we are wrong we want to bite as many people as who wrong us? 00:03:40.450 --> 00:03:44.829 But you know, jesus has called us to a new way of being, amen. 00:03:44.829 --> 00:03:49.349 He has called us to be a people of generosity and forgiveness. 00:03:49.349 --> 00:03:55.331 Now I will say to you this is a very hard hitting and sobering passage. 00:03:56.099 --> 00:04:03.819 In my years of pastoral ministry there has perhaps been no other issue that has been so pervasive in the church than unforgiveness. 00:04:03.819 --> 00:04:10.421 I mean, I've had to walk so many people through giving a spouse or a neighbor or another church member. 00:04:10.421 --> 00:04:16.511 It's very, very common, and I've watched Christians be robbed of their joy. 00:04:16.511 --> 00:04:18.987 The text starts Peter asked this question. 00:04:18.987 --> 00:04:32.810 You might remember last week we talked about love within the Christian community and Jesus says that Christians from time to time sin against one another, and if you've been in church for any length of time you know that happens. 00:04:32.810 --> 00:04:36.127 And what Jesus is saying is when somebody hurts you, you don't leave. 00:04:36.127 --> 00:04:39.588 When somebody sins again, you don't leave and go to another church. 00:04:39.588 --> 00:04:41.464 What are you going to do when somebody offends you there? 00:04:41.464 --> 00:04:42.668 What's he say? 00:04:42.668 --> 00:04:47.012 He says you confront the person and you bring it up. 00:04:47.012 --> 00:04:52.810 You confront them in love and about their sin and if they listen to you, repent, you've gained a brother. 00:04:52.810 --> 00:04:56.670 If they don't repent, you bring somebody else with you, another believer. 00:04:56.670 --> 00:04:58.646 They don't repent, bring them before the church. 00:04:58.646 --> 00:05:03.471 If they don't repent, treat them like a pagan and tax collector because they're still living in sin. 00:05:04.442 --> 00:05:09.704 And so after hearing this, peter immediately says hey, jesus, because that's about forgiving your brother, right? 00:05:09.704 --> 00:05:16.533 Hey Jesus, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? 00:05:16.533 --> 00:05:22.130 And you just see him in this kind of arrogant spirit, up to seven times. 00:05:22.130 --> 00:05:25.144 Here's the context you need to know. 00:05:25.144 --> 00:05:31.230 In the ancient world, by this time, some rabbis had only required that you forgive a person. 00:05:31.230 --> 00:05:34.528 If you were a Jew, you only had to forgive a person three times. 00:05:34.528 --> 00:05:36.759 How did people stay married? 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:37.923 That's what I want to know. 00:05:37.923 --> 00:05:39.889 Three times and you're done. 00:05:39.889 --> 00:05:42.766 If it was premeditated, sin three times and you're out. 00:05:45.682 --> 00:05:46.805 And so Jesus Peter here. 00:05:46.805 --> 00:05:50.603 He thinks he's being so magnanimous, like, so generous. 00:05:50.603 --> 00:05:50.946 He goes. 00:05:50.946 --> 00:05:54.040 Jesus, listen, I heard what you said about confronting. 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:58.891 I'm going to forgive my brother, not three times, like the rabbis, seven times. 00:05:58.891 --> 00:06:01.528 And Jesus, unimpressed, what's he say? 00:06:01.528 --> 00:06:06.531 He says I do not say seven times, but he says 77 times. 00:06:06.531 --> 00:06:11.528 Now some translations say what? 00:06:11.528 --> 00:06:14.471 490 times here, 70 times seven? 00:06:14.471 --> 00:06:15.374 Is my math correct? 00:06:15.374 --> 00:06:22.951 Okay, either way, jesus is not saying count to 77 or 490. 00:06:22.951 --> 00:06:27.346 And on the 78th or the 491st time, you're sorry, you're out of luck. 00:06:27.346 --> 00:06:40.750 Actually, I like the 77 times interpretation here, and because I think it's most compelling, because Jesus is a Bible nerd and so I'm going to nerd out for a second, is that alright? 00:06:40.750 --> 00:06:46.951 So here's the thing that Jesus is always pulling from the Old Testament in his teachings. 00:06:46.951 --> 00:06:55.509 And there's another place in the Old Testament, a pivotal text, where Jesus or, excuse me, where the Bible, uses the number 77. 00:06:55.509 --> 00:07:01.964 And if you want to go there, it's Genesis, chapter 4, so almost all the way to the beginning, genesis, chapter 4. 00:07:02.939 --> 00:07:10.733 Now, genesis 4 is the story of Adam and Eve's son, cain, who murders his brother Abel. 00:07:10.733 --> 00:07:11.704 You know the story right. 00:07:11.704 --> 00:07:28.065 And so, because of Cain's sin, god tells him listen, you, from here on you're going to be cut off from your people in my presence and you are going to live as a fugitive and a wanderer for the rest of your life. 00:07:28.065 --> 00:07:33.591 He's got this curse upon his life now because of his sin, because sin has consequences. 00:07:33.591 --> 00:07:44.550 And so Cain kind of freaks out and he says oh my goodness, like people are going to try to kill me when they see me, right, because they see this curse in my life. 00:07:44.550 --> 00:07:48.086 They don't want to be near me, they just they're going to want to get rid of me. 00:07:48.086 --> 00:07:50.786 So, god, out of grace, what's he do? 00:07:50.786 --> 00:07:52.024 He puts a mark on him. 00:07:52.024 --> 00:08:03.947 He puts a mark on Cain and he says listen, if anyone kills you, cain, vengeance will be taken out on that person sevenfold. 00:08:04.899 --> 00:08:15.452 Now, still in Genesis 4, you go down and the writer fast forwards five generations later, telling the story of one of Cain's descendants named Lamech. 00:08:15.452 --> 00:08:21.396 And as soon as we're introduced to Lamech, we find him bragging about killing a man. 00:08:21.396 --> 00:08:27.658 It's like this generational sin, and I want you to listen to Lamech's words in Genesis 4-24. 00:08:27.658 --> 00:08:40.544 Here's what Lamech says If Cain's revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech's is 77 fold, and so scholars make this connection. 00:08:40.544 --> 00:08:47.509 Here Lamech is boasting about the vengeance that makes him even safer than Cain. 00:08:47.509 --> 00:08:50.235 Listen, cain has God's protection. 00:08:50.235 --> 00:08:55.909 Only His vengeance is sevenfold upon one who would hurt Cain. 00:08:56.029 --> 00:08:57.292 But you mess with me. 00:08:57.292 --> 00:08:59.697 You're getting it 77 times over. 00:08:59.697 --> 00:09:03.624 And he's just got this vengeful spirit. 00:09:03.624 --> 00:09:07.778 And this is the human disposition. 00:09:07.778 --> 00:09:08.860 You mess with me. 00:09:08.860 --> 00:09:11.514 I'm not just going to get even, I'm going to get ahead. 00:09:11.514 --> 00:09:14.967 Come on, I know some of you, all from Appalachian country. 00:09:14.967 --> 00:09:16.893 I know that's your mantra, right? 00:09:16.893 --> 00:09:18.837 Okay, that wasn't funny. 00:09:18.837 --> 00:09:20.903 You're like you're talking about my mama. 00:09:20.903 --> 00:09:23.052 All right, here we go. 00:09:23.052 --> 00:09:26.921 So that's what's going on and what Jesus is doing here. 00:09:26.921 --> 00:09:32.639 He's saying listen, this is you have this vengeful people, right. 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:39.500 But he says I'm creating a new humanity who offers grace 77 times over. 00:09:39.500 --> 00:09:41.566 You get what Jesus is doing here. 00:09:41.566 --> 00:09:42.206 It's beautiful. 00:09:42.206 --> 00:09:45.515 And so Jesus goes on to say all right, let me. 00:09:45.556 --> 00:09:49.731 Let me give you a parable about why forgiveness is so necessary. 00:09:49.731 --> 00:09:53.261 So, very quickly, I'm going to answer three questions today from the text you ready. 00:09:53.261 --> 00:09:55.833 Number one what is forgiveness? 00:09:55.833 --> 00:09:57.818 Number two how do we do it? 00:09:57.818 --> 00:10:00.611 And number three why is it so critical? 00:10:00.611 --> 00:10:07.092 I know it's late, but listen, please give me your attention, because this is literally a message of life or death. 00:10:07.092 --> 00:10:09.116 It really is. 00:10:10.278 --> 00:10:11.179 What is forgiveness? 00:10:11.179 --> 00:10:15.153 It's such an intriguing parable, a crazy story. 00:10:15.153 --> 00:10:23.279 It begins by introducing this king who, by the way, represents God, who wishes to settle accounts with his servants. 00:10:23.279 --> 00:10:31.167 And so there's one particular servant who's brought to him, who represents us, by the way, and he's brought before the king. 00:10:31.167 --> 00:10:36.798 And now, when you think of servant, don't think Butler or Gardner or Worker of the Field. 00:10:36.798 --> 00:10:48.972 This is likely kind of a vassal king, a governor, a satrap who governs a particular province within an empire under the authority of the king. 00:10:48.972 --> 00:10:52.022 So this is somebody of providence prominence. 00:10:52.022 --> 00:10:55.631 There you go, that's the word I was looking for. 00:10:57.535 --> 00:11:04.591 And this servant has mismanaged the king's funds or embezzled, we don't really know. 00:11:04.591 --> 00:11:07.840 And so he owes the king this massive amount of money. 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:09.991 How much does the tech tech say he owes him? 00:11:09.991 --> 00:11:14.058 Ten thousand talents. 00:11:14.058 --> 00:11:15.500 What is that? 00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:16.462 Listen to this. 00:11:16.462 --> 00:11:17.203 This is crazy. 00:11:17.203 --> 00:11:27.764 So one talent represents about 6,000 days wage of a blue-collar Palestinian worker at that time. 00:11:27.764 --> 00:11:31.054 One talent, 6,000 days of work. 00:11:31.054 --> 00:11:48.399 Ten thousand talents then would be about the equivalent of 60 million days wages, which many scholars suggest in today's term you're talking multi-billion dollars, if not zillions of dollars. 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:52.672 The point is this this is an insurmountable debt, insurmountable. 00:11:52.672 --> 00:11:58.107 So, justly, the king orders that the servant's assets be seized. 00:11:58.107 --> 00:12:01.780 And he said I want you to seize the family. 00:12:01.780 --> 00:12:06.615 You know this servant and the family, and we're going to sell him into slavery to chip away at this debt. 00:12:06.615 --> 00:12:12.678 The servant just breaks down and he says king, please have mercy on me, I'll pay it back. 00:12:12.678 --> 00:12:13.903 But he can't pay it back. 00:12:13.903 --> 00:12:16.453 And the king does something profound. 00:12:16.453 --> 00:12:19.914 He doesn't say I'm going to give you a little time, I'm going to give you a week, I'm going to give you a month, a year. 00:12:19.914 --> 00:12:25.634 Here's what he says I'm going to release you and the debt's forgiven, the debt's taken away. 00:12:25.634 --> 00:12:30.062 It's profound act of grace and mercy and forgiveness. 00:12:31.303 --> 00:12:37.403 And so, as we look at this part of the parable, we get a glimpse of what forgiveness is. 00:12:37.403 --> 00:12:41.017 So let me tell you quickly what forgiveness is not. 00:12:41.017 --> 00:12:44.591 Because we're called to forgive, we need to know what it is and what it is not. 00:12:44.591 --> 00:12:50.831 So forgiveness is not ignoring somebody's sin against you, and we know that from last week's text. 00:12:50.831 --> 00:12:54.461 No, you confront them, you tell them you've sinned against me. 00:12:54.461 --> 00:13:04.403 It does not mean forgiveness does not mean that we let people treat us like doormats the previous text. 00:13:04.403 --> 00:13:13.297 If the perpetrator doesn't listen, if he continues to sin, you treat them like a pagan or a Gentile in hopes that they will repent. 00:13:13.297 --> 00:13:14.701 So there are. 00:13:14.701 --> 00:13:17.450 We don't have to continually get abused. 00:13:17.450 --> 00:13:18.893 That's not what forgiveness is. 00:13:19.533 --> 00:13:30.288 Example if you are, you know someone who's being verbally or physically beaten by a spouse, to forgive them doesn't mean that you just keep taking that. 00:13:30.288 --> 00:13:37.063 You need help and, by the way, if that's you or you know someone, we're here to help in that situation and point you to the right resources. 00:13:37.063 --> 00:13:42.548 Forgiveness is not a restoration of immediate trust. 00:13:42.548 --> 00:13:48.754 Now let me say this In the Christian church, the goal of forgiveness is always reconciliation. 00:13:48.754 --> 00:13:57.769 God wants us to be reconciled to one another, but forgiveness is instantaneous, but reconciliation takes time. 00:13:57.889 --> 00:14:05.874 You know, say that you hire a babysitter, all right, and you tell the babysitter you and your spouse are going out. 00:14:05.874 --> 00:14:09.289 You tell the babysitter listen, I'm going to give you some rules. 00:14:09.289 --> 00:14:10.152 My kids are young. 00:14:10.152 --> 00:14:13.980 I want you to pay close attention to them. 00:14:13.980 --> 00:14:17.770 They're crazy people and I don't want them. 00:14:17.770 --> 00:14:18.232 I don't. 00:14:18.232 --> 00:14:21.649 I don't want you, you know, having anybody over and I want them to eat their meal. 00:14:21.649 --> 00:14:22.975 I don't want them having candy. 00:14:22.975 --> 00:14:24.764 It's cold outside If they go out. 00:14:24.764 --> 00:14:27.354 I want them dressing warm and they have to be watched. 00:14:27.354 --> 00:14:33.475 Let's say you come home a little bit early from your date with your spouse and the kids are nowhere to be seen. 00:14:33.475 --> 00:14:37.822 The babysitter is, you know, on the couch. 00:14:37.822 --> 00:14:40.993 Her boyfriend's over, and then you see them. 00:14:40.993 --> 00:14:42.456 They have not eaten their meal. 00:14:42.456 --> 00:14:44.932 The food's still on the table and there's a outside. 00:14:44.932 --> 00:14:48.690 There's a trail of like candy wrappers and they're running around out there in their diapers. 00:14:48.690 --> 00:14:51.235 That's a bad experience. 00:14:51.456 --> 00:14:55.043 Now question if you're a Christian, do you have to forgive your babysitter? 00:14:55.043 --> 00:15:01.326 Yes, but you would be foolish to say, hey, what are you doing tomorrow? 00:15:01.326 --> 00:15:03.552 We're going to go out again, right, like you don't have. 00:15:03.552 --> 00:15:05.297 Trust is going to have to be rebuilt. 00:15:05.297 --> 00:15:12.825 So reconciliation takes time, and so forgiveness and reconciliation they're not synonymous. 00:15:12.825 --> 00:15:13.850 I guess that's what I'm saying. 00:15:14.611 --> 00:15:15.875 What, then, is forgiveness? 00:15:15.875 --> 00:15:17.601 What's it mean? 00:15:17.601 --> 00:15:20.832 Well, number one, when you forgive when I forgive you know what you do. 00:15:20.832 --> 00:15:25.909 You empathize with the perpetrator, something that we don't do enough. 00:15:25.909 --> 00:15:34.712 I want you to notice in the text and verse 27, out of pity for this servant, the master released him and forgave him the debt. 00:15:34.712 --> 00:15:47.105 Out of pity, now, the Greek word translated pity here is often translated compassion in the Bible, and I love Tim Keller points this out. 00:15:47.105 --> 00:15:58.234 But there's an idiom that we have that really gets to the matter of what this is, and it is this idiom to give your heart out, to your heart going out to someone. 00:15:58.234 --> 00:16:01.162 Right, you said this my heart goes out to that person. 00:16:01.162 --> 00:16:07.581 Or, as you said, to fill it in your gut, in your bowels, so my heart goes out to you. 00:16:07.581 --> 00:16:15.835 So to forgive means that we humanize the perpetrator and have compassion upon them, even though you may feel that they don't deserve it. 00:16:15.835 --> 00:16:18.687 You have compassion and your heart goes out to them. 00:16:18.687 --> 00:16:20.091 You see their brokenness. 00:16:20.091 --> 00:16:24.038 And then, secondly, forgiveness. 00:16:24.038 --> 00:16:24.798 You know what it is. 00:16:24.798 --> 00:16:29.291 It's about absorbing the perpetrator's debt. 00:16:31.317 --> 00:16:32.942 This king, he had two options. 00:16:32.942 --> 00:16:41.249 With the money that was owed, he could either make the servant pay or you know what else he could do he could absorb the debt himself. 00:16:41.249 --> 00:16:42.010 And what did he do? 00:16:42.010 --> 00:16:47.562 He absorbed the debt Years ago, probably 20 years ago. 00:16:47.562 --> 00:16:51.552 My stepdad he's in here, there he is, he. 00:16:51.552 --> 00:16:56.227 He borrowed two jet skis from a friend of ours. 00:16:56.227 --> 00:17:04.836 They were brand new and Nicky and I had never ridden them before, and there were some other family there with us and most of us had never ridden jet ski. 00:17:04.836 --> 00:17:09.922 So, man, we had a blast reality on Cave Run Lake all day riding those things and they were powerful. 00:17:09.922 --> 00:17:20.374 And we didn't know that you're not supposed to like take off full blast when you're around the bank, and we did that. 00:17:20.374 --> 00:17:30.141 Nor did we know that there were these rocks, about this big, pretty, pretty large rock stones Right underneath us in the shallow water, and they ran fine that day. 00:17:30.141 --> 00:17:42.109 But come to find out they had they were so these jet skis were so robust they actually sucked these stones up into the inner workings and destroyed the motors. 00:17:42.109 --> 00:17:44.455 And so this is before. 00:17:44.455 --> 00:17:57.659 My dad owned his own company and he he could have said you're paying the debt, or he could have absorbed it, and he absorbed the debt. 00:17:57.659 --> 00:17:59.202 Thank you very much, by the way. 00:17:59.202 --> 00:18:02.694 He absorbed that, that debt. 00:18:02.875 --> 00:18:27.506 And, and you know, when it comes to when people sin against us, we are hurt, we are broken and we can either make the other person pay, and meaning that we want to, we want to get revenge, we want to break them, we want to ruin their reputation, or we can absorb the debt ourselves, which is what Jesus calls us to do. 00:18:27.506 --> 00:18:31.580 And, by the way, again, does it mean that they're they don't have consequences? 00:18:31.580 --> 00:18:42.586 But it's when I, when I say absorbing the debt, what the Bible talks about, listen, we don't hold a grudge, we don't gossip about that person, we let it go, we absorb the debt, the hurt. 00:18:42.586 --> 00:18:43.990 That's what forgiveness is. 00:18:43.990 --> 00:18:45.970 It's a matter of the heart, matter of fact. 00:18:45.970 --> 00:18:56.872 Jesus says this in the last verse of this text if you do not forgive your brother from your heart, it's a heart issue, so it's. 00:18:56.872 --> 00:19:06.732 It's releasing somebody from these, you know, just vengeful feelings, releasing them from your heart. 00:19:06.732 --> 00:19:08.536 So how do we do this? 00:19:08.536 --> 00:19:14.815 Has anybody struggled with forgiving somebody this week, this year, sometime? 00:19:14.815 --> 00:19:16.780 Come on, it's difficult. 00:19:18.490 --> 00:19:24.333 Well, here it is, when the forgiven servant is released, what's he do? 00:19:24.333 --> 00:19:29.269 I mean, you would think he would walk away, humble and merciful and just joyous. 00:19:29.269 --> 00:19:30.051 But what's he do? 00:19:30.051 --> 00:19:32.921 He searches for somebody that owes him money. 00:19:32.921 --> 00:19:40.003 You know, sometimes when you sin, you like to find somebody else has done the same thing to make you feel better about yourself. 00:19:40.003 --> 00:19:43.232 Right, this person lied. 00:19:43.232 --> 00:19:48.952 So I want to say you know, I want to find another liar to make me feel okay, misery loves company, right. 00:19:49.513 --> 00:19:51.157 And so so this, this guy. 00:19:51.157 --> 00:19:51.818 He goes out. 00:19:51.818 --> 00:19:58.402 The servant for given servant goes out and he finds somebody that owes him money and it's a relatively small amount in comparison. 00:19:58.402 --> 00:20:05.505 I mean, it's very small as a matter of fact, it could be paid off in comparison to what he owed to the king and was just forgiven for. 00:20:05.505 --> 00:20:08.352 So it brings this guy in and and and the guy. 00:20:08.352 --> 00:20:10.316 He says I want you to pay this. 00:20:10.316 --> 00:20:14.364 And the text actually says he begins to choke the guy. 00:20:14.364 --> 00:20:17.680 The guy just forgiven just begins to choke him. 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:22.140 I mean, this is Hatfield and McCoy stuff, folks, right? 00:20:22.140 --> 00:20:27.040 He chokes him and the guy pleads for mercy. 00:20:27.040 --> 00:20:28.375 He says, hey, I'll pay you back. 00:20:28.375 --> 00:20:30.797 He actually could have worked this off. 00:20:30.797 --> 00:20:34.356 But the guy who was forgiven says not on your life. 00:20:34.356 --> 00:20:39.357 And he has him put in prison. 00:20:39.357 --> 00:20:46.220 The forgiven servant refuses to forgive this other servant. 00:20:46.220 --> 00:20:47.403 How appalling. 00:20:48.773 --> 00:20:50.038 And why do we struggle with this? 00:20:50.038 --> 00:20:51.817 Why do we find this so difficult? 00:20:51.817 --> 00:20:56.840 Well, unforgiveness, if we're honest, it can feel good for a season, can it? 00:20:56.840 --> 00:21:01.000 I mean, those feelings against someone can feel good. 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:05.477 I love these words Listen to this closely by Frederick Buechner. 00:21:06.369 --> 00:21:08.518 He wrote this in a book called Wishful Thinking. 00:21:08.518 --> 00:21:14.681 He writes of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. 00:21:14.681 --> 00:21:26.059 To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over the grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come. 00:21:26.059 --> 00:21:26.800 Have you ever done that? 00:21:26.800 --> 00:21:30.678 You play out in your mind what you're going to say to this person the next time you see him. 00:21:30.678 --> 00:21:38.732 To savor to the last two-some morsel both the pain you were given and the pain you were given back. 00:21:38.732 --> 00:21:40.955 You are giving back in many ways. 00:21:40.955 --> 00:21:46.319 He says it is a feast fit for a king anger, bitterness. 00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:55.134 But he writes this the chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down at this feast is yourself. 00:21:55.134 --> 00:21:58.797 The skeleton at the feast is you. 00:21:58.797 --> 00:22:01.071 That's profound. 00:22:04.109 --> 00:22:05.214 Unforgiveness feels good for a while. 00:22:05.214 --> 00:22:09.038 It makes us feel morally superior to the perpetrator, right. 00:22:09.038 --> 00:22:16.271 But the problem is that we think we're hurting another person with unforgiveness and we are sometimes. 00:22:16.271 --> 00:22:17.857 But you know who it hurts most? 00:22:17.857 --> 00:22:18.932 It hurts you. 00:22:18.932 --> 00:22:21.954 You are the skeleton at the feast. 00:22:24.210 --> 00:22:32.942 Another reason it's hard to forgive is because we want justice, right, and so we feel that forgiving somebody is unjust because they need to pay. 00:22:32.942 --> 00:22:37.278 But here's the deal If they repent, payment will be paid. 00:22:37.278 --> 00:22:39.695 Payment will be made in full. 00:22:39.695 --> 00:22:46.234 It was paid, matter of fact, in the past, at Calvary, 2000 years ago, justice happened at the cross. 00:22:46.234 --> 00:22:54.060 If they do not repent, vengeance is the Lord's and his wrath is much worse than yours. 00:22:54.060 --> 00:22:56.873 We want justice. 00:22:56.873 --> 00:22:59.656 So here's what we have to do if we're going to forgive. 00:22:59.890 --> 00:23:04.794 Number one we've got to identify with the perpetrator, the forgiven servant. 00:23:04.794 --> 00:23:05.355 You know what he's done. 00:23:05.355 --> 00:23:06.875 He's forgotten his own sin. 00:23:06.875 --> 00:23:13.353 He doesn't identify with the guy and you know what he reduces. 00:23:13.353 --> 00:23:15.660 And this is what we do when we don't forgive. 00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:19.079 We reduce another human to their sin. 00:23:19.079 --> 00:23:27.377 For instance, keller points this out If someone lies to you, what do you say? 00:23:27.377 --> 00:23:30.036 Well, he's just a liar. 00:23:30.036 --> 00:23:32.835 You've reduced them to their sin. 00:23:32.835 --> 00:23:33.637 He's just a liar. 00:23:33.637 --> 00:23:35.837 And then you're asked well, do you ever lie? 00:23:35.837 --> 00:23:42.843 You say, well, I have, but it's because I wanted to protect myself or I was protecting somebody else. 00:23:42.843 --> 00:23:44.173 So you're not a liar. 00:23:44.173 --> 00:23:46.178 But that other person who lied is a liar. 00:23:46.178 --> 00:23:48.673 You've not identified with them. 00:23:48.673 --> 00:23:52.596 We reduce people to their sin. 00:23:52.730 --> 00:23:58.079 Keller uses this beautiful illustration have you ever been caricatured? 00:23:58.079 --> 00:23:59.032 Is that how you say it? 00:23:59.032 --> 00:24:02.012 Caricatured, the cartoons drawn of you? 00:24:02.012 --> 00:24:06.259 I don't think I said that very well, but that's all right. 00:24:06.259 --> 00:24:09.536 So if you've ever had that done. 00:24:09.536 --> 00:24:17.961 It's really brave if you allow this to be done, because the cartoonists always exaggerate your worst feature. 00:24:17.961 --> 00:24:22.757 If your ears are a little big, your ears are massive on the cartoon Knows a little big, your nose is massive. 00:24:22.757 --> 00:24:24.415 If you're short, you're microscopic. 00:24:24.415 --> 00:24:28.011 Right Tall, you're a giant and whatever it is. 00:24:28.011 --> 00:24:32.411 If you're old, they make you look ancient, right and so. 00:24:32.411 --> 00:24:40.000 But this is what we do when people hurt us, we forget all the good and other things about them and we reduce them. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.215 We exaggerate this one part. 00:24:44.730 --> 00:24:56.769 And so, if we're going to forgive, we've got to humanize those people and, by the way, identify with them, realizing that we are capable of the same level of malevolence. 00:24:56.769 --> 00:24:59.378 Does that make sense? 00:24:59.378 --> 00:25:05.836 You've got to identify, if you're going to forgive, with the perpetrator and then you've got to make a choice. 00:25:05.836 --> 00:25:08.755 Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice. 00:25:08.755 --> 00:25:22.044 In Matthew 18, it says that the verse 29 and 30 says that this servant refused to forgive the other servant. 00:25:22.044 --> 00:25:26.253 He refused, it doesn't say he could not, it says he would not. 00:25:26.253 --> 00:25:32.992 This is a choice, it's a matter of the will. 00:25:34.730 --> 00:25:48.780 I talked about this at your anniversary celebration last night, but we think that feelings come after or, excuse me, precede, come before action. 00:25:48.780 --> 00:25:51.395 So whatever we feel, then we act. 00:25:51.395 --> 00:25:52.961 That's what we all believe. 00:25:52.961 --> 00:25:59.823 But CS Lewis, dietrich Bonhoeffer, they talk about this that actually actions precede feelings. 00:26:00.849 --> 00:26:10.102 So in marriage counseling what I tell people, particularly premarital counseling I said you're not going to wake up every day and feel loving feelings towards your spouse. 00:26:10.102 --> 00:26:14.336 And all the married people said, amen, right, like there's just days you don't feel loving. 00:26:14.336 --> 00:26:17.818 But here's what you do, because people come to me and say, well, we're just not in love anymore. 00:26:17.818 --> 00:26:19.595 Well, let me tell you what you do in that case. 00:26:19.595 --> 00:26:25.040 You act loving, and when you act loving, the feelings of love will follow. 00:26:25.040 --> 00:26:32.113 And so when somebody sins against you, you're not automatically going to feel like you want to forgive them, but here's what you do. 00:26:32.113 --> 00:26:41.375 You do what the Bible says you bless those who curse you, you pray for those who spitefully harm you and, as you do, acts of love and acts of service for them. 00:26:41.375 --> 00:26:48.699 Actually, god does a wonderful thing and he changes your heart and those feelings of forgiveness will follow. 00:26:48.699 --> 00:26:51.916 And then what do we do? 00:26:51.916 --> 00:26:53.595 Finally, how do we forgive? 00:26:53.595 --> 00:26:56.376 We, yes, we make a choice. 00:26:56.376 --> 00:26:57.413 It's a matter of the will. 00:26:57.413 --> 00:27:14.529 We identify with the perpetrator, but we remember this is so important, the incalculable debt that God has forgiven us of no-transcript. 00:27:13.869 --> 00:27:23.169 Some of you guys have been hurt horrendously by another human being, but have you ever heard someone say maybe you've said this how could I forgive them for this? 00:27:23.169 --> 00:27:25.237 Let me tell you how. 00:27:25.237 --> 00:27:33.390 You preach the gospel to yourself and you realize that what they've done to you is nothing, nothing. 00:27:33.390 --> 00:27:34.596 This is the point of the story. 00:27:34.596 --> 00:27:37.818 It's nothing compared what the true king has forgiven you for. 00:27:37.818 --> 00:27:44.452 Every sin that we've ever committed is, first and foremost, against the holy God he has given us. 00:27:44.452 --> 00:27:47.161 He has made us stewards like this king in the story. 00:27:47.161 --> 00:27:54.903 He has made us say, traps of his world, governors of his world, and we have made a mess of it. 00:27:54.903 --> 00:27:59.359 We have squandered his wealth, squandered his creation. 00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:01.855 We have broken relationships. 00:28:01.855 --> 00:28:04.998 We have hurt people who are created in his image. 00:28:04.998 --> 00:28:07.395 We owe a debt we could never pay back. 00:28:07.395 --> 00:28:10.096 And what has God done for us? 00:28:10.096 --> 00:28:13.380 He paid it in Christ at Calvary. 00:28:13.380 --> 00:28:14.294 He's paid that debt. 00:28:14.690 --> 00:28:21.617 So when you think how could I forgive somebody for this, you think of this parable and you remember what has God forgiven me, of? 00:28:21.617 --> 00:28:25.877 How in the world could I hold a grudge against somebody else? 00:28:25.877 --> 00:28:32.880 Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. 00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:39.823 So here's the end of the parable and it shows why forgiveness is so critical. 00:28:39.823 --> 00:28:41.635 Okay, give me five more minutes here. 00:28:41.635 --> 00:28:44.777 Why is it so critical forgiving someone? 00:28:44.777 --> 00:28:48.252 Number one, hear me, unforgiveness is a prison. 00:28:49.410 --> 00:28:50.634 What happens at the end of the parable? 00:28:50.634 --> 00:29:00.776 The king gets word of this how this servant he just forgave has been so horrible to another servant in unforgiving. 00:29:00.776 --> 00:29:03.637 And he comes to him and he says what have you done? 00:29:03.637 --> 00:29:06.173 I gave you mercy, why have you not shown it? 00:29:06.173 --> 00:29:07.651 And the king? 00:29:07.651 --> 00:29:13.281 Out of his great anger, he has this servant thrown into prison. 00:29:13.281 --> 00:29:19.073 He says you're going to be here until you pay every every cent of the debt, which can never be done. 00:29:19.073 --> 00:29:25.773 Now, this is what happens when you do not forgive you are put in prison. 00:29:25.773 --> 00:29:29.776 You will not sense God's presence. 00:29:29.776 --> 00:29:35.638 It will break other relationships in your life that you don't want broken. 00:29:36.470 --> 00:29:47.696 When people leave this church, and they leave mad, in an unforgiving spirit, unreconciled, they go into the next church and they carry that spirit with them, because the way you leave one church is the way you go into the next one. 00:29:47.696 --> 00:29:51.679 They're in a prison and they get mad and they get angry. 00:29:51.679 --> 00:29:52.833 And this is what happens. 00:29:52.833 --> 00:29:54.519 People get hurt at church. 00:29:54.519 --> 00:30:01.989 They don't deal with it and it festers and it grows and the only choice they have is to leave because they've not dealt with it. 00:30:01.989 --> 00:30:07.714 And they're so bitter and they go to the next church mad and angry and then they get hurt there and they do the same thing. 00:30:10.410 --> 00:30:12.958 Unforgiveness is a prison and it's so interesting. 00:30:12.958 --> 00:30:28.415 Here the text says in the English standard version it says that the king turned him over to the jailers, and that word, jailers in the Greek is often translated in the Bible tormentors, which is often in the context of hell. 00:30:28.415 --> 00:30:38.579 And quite literally, when you don't forgive, you create hell for you and your family and you start gossiping about other family members and they did this and they did this. 00:30:38.579 --> 00:30:39.753 You've not dealt with it. 00:30:39.753 --> 00:30:42.477 It creates hell for you and everybody around you. 00:30:42.477 --> 00:30:44.954 It creates hell at church. 00:30:44.954 --> 00:30:47.817 I've seen churches destroyed by this Unforgiveness. 00:30:49.971 --> 00:31:01.942 And then in the end I think this is the main point of the passage If we do not forgive, the result is hell after this life. 00:31:01.942 --> 00:31:06.459 Jesus, look at this last verse with me, 35. 00:31:06.459 --> 00:31:15.901 So my heavenly father will do to every one of you He'll turn you over to the tormentors if you do not forgive your brother in your heart. 00:31:15.901 --> 00:31:18.434 Now you say to me so. 00:31:18.434 --> 00:31:23.718 Is this salvation by works, like the way we get into the kingdom, is by forgiving somebody? 00:31:23.718 --> 00:31:25.654 That's not what Jesus is saying. 00:31:25.654 --> 00:31:30.557 If that was the case, why would he have had to come If all you had to do was forgive and serve the poor? 00:31:30.557 --> 00:31:31.732 That's not what he's saying. 00:31:33.309 --> 00:31:36.357 This can be best illustrated with a very popular illustration. 00:31:36.357 --> 00:31:43.333 Think of, let's say, we have, imagine, we're in a field and we have two peach trees side by side. 00:31:43.333 --> 00:31:45.555 It's this peach tree season, right? 00:31:45.555 --> 00:31:49.038 And so you have two peach trees side by side. 00:31:49.038 --> 00:31:55.868 We go out to this field today and one of them is full of luscious, delicious peaches. 00:31:55.868 --> 00:31:58.557 Right for the picking, as we say, right. 00:31:58.557 --> 00:32:05.280 The other tree beside it, right next to it, is barren. 00:32:05.280 --> 00:32:07.250 It's barren. 00:32:07.250 --> 00:32:18.422 Now we could safely assume, I think, that the first tree that's bearing fruit is alive and healthy. 00:32:18.422 --> 00:32:19.584 True, shake your head at me. 00:32:19.584 --> 00:32:32.602 We could say then, probably safely, that the tree, the other tree that's barren in due season, is dead or on its dying, true? 00:32:32.602 --> 00:32:35.498 Now here's what I want you to think about. 00:32:35.498 --> 00:32:41.635 The fruit is not what gives the tree life, it's not what makes the tree healthy. 00:32:41.635 --> 00:32:44.356 It's a sign that the tree's healthy. 00:32:44.356 --> 00:32:48.660 A lack of fruit doesn't kill the tree. 00:32:48.660 --> 00:32:50.215 It's a sign that the tree is dead. 00:32:50.215 --> 00:32:54.637 You get what I'm saying Forgive this, and humility and righteousness and love. 00:32:55.390 --> 00:33:03.076 They do not save you, but they are signs that you've been saved and that Jesus has changed your heart, that you're in a new kingdom. 00:33:03.076 --> 00:33:14.874 So if you are unforgiving Jesus, I don't care how much you go to church, I don't care how much scripture you can quote, if you've taught Sunday school, if you speak in tongues, it doesn't matter. 00:33:14.874 --> 00:33:28.650 It doesn't matter if Jesus could not be clearer, and this is repeated over and over in Scripture If you do not forgive, you won't be forgiven, and this parable tells us why. 00:33:28.650 --> 00:33:32.818 Do you see how absurd it is when you consider the gospel? 00:33:32.818 --> 00:33:40.776 How absurd it is to not forgive Dean if you wouldn't mind coming up. 00:33:42.239 --> 00:33:43.060 What do we do with this? 00:33:43.060 --> 00:33:49.103