How Perfectionism Hijacks Creativity And Intuition

Perfectionism doesn’t always look like polishing. Sometimes it looks like panic the second something isn’t “the best representation” of you. I’m Megan McDonough, your no BS Woo-Woo coach, and I’m sharing an intuitive insight that hit me in the most human way possible after a script reading went sideways: the edits didn’t save, my inner critic took the mic, and an old ADHD wound came rushing back.

We unpack why moments like that can feel way bigger than they “should.” Mentally, I know I’m intelligent. Emotionally, I can still get flooded. And behaviorally, I can watch myself want to disappear. That’s where intuitive work and energetic healing come in. When we only try to fix things with mindset or willpower, we may understand the trigger without fully unraveling the pattern. We talk about the deeper “not good enough” thread, how those smaller shame memories hide inside it, and how creativity, self-worth, and nervous system reactions can all tangle together.

Then we shift to what actually helps: curiosity and play. Play is meant to be light, exploratory, and in motion. You can’t perfect it, but you can trust it. I’ll leave you with reflection questions to find where you’ve lost joy, where you’re over-controlling the process, and how to bring your intuition back online. If you want to practice with us, I also share ways to connect through Magnetize Your Light, including our monthly virtual meetup and an in-person energetic reset workshop in Chicago.

Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s stuck in perfectionism, and leave a review if it helps. Where could you choose curiosity over judgment this week?

Transcript

Welcome And The Core Insight

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Welcome to Intuitive Insights, a podcast about intuition, creativity, and learning to trust the inner wisdom already inside you. I am Megan McDonough, your no BS Woo-Woo coach. And today I want to talk to you about a little insight that I noticed, uh a personal experience of mine. This is an intuitive insight, but also a very personal, uh practical one. So, and I got myself caught up in it. So I thought, let's call my stuff out and we're all human here and unpack it so we can learn something. Hopefully you can. I definitely did. So today I wanted to talk about a little saying that came to my head recently, and that is don't perfect play. Now, this was very easy for me to say when looking from the inside out, right? Especially when it comes to creativity, when it comes to intuition. It's a very playful energy. It's a very curious energy that's constantly exploring, evolving, iterating, and uh, you know, staying light for the most part. So here's what happened. I had written a script, which is vulnerable for me to do any well, it's vulnerable for anyone to do, I'm sure, but I I have layers of insecurity wrapped around my writing. And well, that's it. So uh I have layers of insecurity wrapped around that. And then it also appeals back to being ADHD as a child, um, and in not in a space where we understood what that meant or that that was a thing and that it could be used for good, I guess is an odd way of saying it, but that it's just another way of operating a brain system, right? So from a kid, I always felt so I had a hard time in school because my head was all over the place. I felt like I was smart, but I would get blurry. I would my my my head would fog over, especially if it was something I wasn't interested in, or I'd get distracted and I would get so frustrated because, you know, I would get grades that weren't great because I was either rushing or wasn't paying attention, even if I knew the subject, or I couldn't just remember. That's another, you know, thing that wrenched to throw in the fire. But so it gave me this complex of feeling stupid because my grades didn't reflect what I felt like. I was like, I think I'm smart, but my grades aren't reflecting I'm smart. And so I was treated and thought that I wasn't. So that is an underbelly thing that I thought I had moved past. But sometimes they pop back up on you and you go, oh, okay.

unknown 3:20

Huh.

When The Edits Didn’t Save

Old ADHD Shame Resurfaces

SPEAKER_01 3:21

I guess that's not completely moved through. So back to regular time, back to now, recently. I wrote this script. And, you know, and it's vulnerable to share your work with somebody, whatever it may be. Because you're taking a risk every time you do. Because you have no idea how people are going to respond. There's no real gauge. And there shouldn't be because it's art, right? And you need to take risks in art. That's what makes it art. Pushing the boundaries of perception, emotion, ways of thinking, ways of relating, communicating. So I had made some edits that when I looked at it were like easy edits to make, right? Like it was like too verbose here, like this is way too much repeating, you know, things I didn't need, that kind of thing. So I cut at least like two pages. And then I thought I saved it. And it's a lot of characters in this script. So I had a lot of people come to read, and it was very grateful that a lot of people came and read so I could hear it out loud. And this is the and I also was reading it for the first time as a character, which I haven't done yet. So I was a little nervous about that. So there's like a lot on the table, a lot of risks I was throwing out on the table. And we started reading it, and I noticed that the script did not save my changes. So what I was looking at was the script prior to the two-page cut edit, which is a significant amount. And so when it came time to do feedback after an impressions, I was so in my head about the fact that this was not the best representation of my skills, my intelligence level. These are all thoughts that I'm telling myself, right? So I listened to the feedback, and it was some very good feedback, a lot of brilliant artists and uh writers and actors in the room, and so they had wonderful feedback. But all I wanted to do was go and hide in like a stone cave and shut the like I wanted to, like, all right, it's Easter, so that's totally what I was thinking. Like I wanted to go where Jesus was in that stone thing, which is probably not what it looked like at all, but what I remember as a kid seeing on movies and stuff, and like roll a stone in front of it and be like, I'm out, peace out, I'm gone for like months. You can see me when I find my dignity again, come back out. So that's how I felt. And obviously I knew I was being dramatic, but I couldn't shake it. And what was interesting to me was that it made me echo back to that time as a kid in grade school, when I felt like, I know I'm smart, but these are just silly mistakes I made because my brain's the way my brain is. Not dismissing accountability, just saying like, this isn't how I I don't think like this. I don't think in these detailed details. I mean, some details, but not others. Anyway, point is, obviously, ADHD. It really resurfaced an old wound. And from doing this intuitive work and sharing it with others and helping others tap into it themselves, I find when stuff like this pops up, it's not a mental thing. Because in my brain, I know that's all BS. Right? I know that I know I'm intelligent, even though my younger mind said I'm not because of the grades that I received or the way I was looked at in school, or whatever it is, right? Or as a class clown. So, like, whatever. So cognitively, I'm like, I've moved past it. I've matured past the thing. You have another example of this too. And then emotionally, I was kind of like, I understand these emotions. I don't understand why I'm getting them right now, because these feel fairly intense for what I understand mentally to not be true. But it's resonating emotionally pretty loud. So what's going on here? So in this work of intuition and working with our energetic selves, we can clear and adjust and move forward mentally. We can clear and adjust and move forward emotionally. But if we don't clear and adjust and move forward from the intuition, from the energetic space, we never fully unravel the pattern. And the pattern, that pattern was tied to a little bit of I'm not good enough. Right? At least that's how I perceived it. And it was similar to when, like one of my parents got divorced. And cognitively, I was like, yeah, this makes sense. They do not get along.

unknown 8:08

You know what I mean?

Patterns Live In The Energy

Releasing “Not Good Enough”

SPEAKER_01 8:09

I was like, you know, they were my I remember my mom trying to break it to me, and I was like, okay, and like, good, good for you. Maybe you could be happy now in your life. That's how I thought about it. And emotionally, I was like, okay, yeah, sure, fine. But when it came down to behaviorally, there was some weird stuff that I was, I was all of a sudden acting like a teenager responding to things that like I knew didn't bother me anymore. So I was like, who is this teenager coming out of me who feels like unseen, unheard, not good enough to be um part of the conversation or whatever. So what I'm saying is, is that there are these little bits of patterns. And there can be little tiny pieces of the larger pattern. Like, say, let's say, for instance, the larger pattern is not good enough, right? Or unworthy or not lovable or whatever. And then the little tiny pattern within that, the kind of fractal pattern, if you will, inside of that is the specific thing of feeling dumb because I couldn't spell, which I did misspell some things, or my punctuation was bad, or I I, you know, said something more than once and stuff that didn't make whatever, or the abandonment issue, you know, popping up with my parents. Feeling feeling that abandonment is not worthy. So I have seen and felt firsthand how when these things pop up, these little energetic ripples in our space that do connect to our emotions and that do connect to our brain and how it operates, and our filter through which we see the world. We all, this is what I believe, we all have the power to shift that. We may not all have the opportunity or the tools, but we have the power to shift. And having done this work for a while and sharing it with others, which is even more not even rewarding, but empowering, I would say, to see others get empowered by this. And working with that energetic field, I didn't stay as long in that emotional attachment. It popped up like a little dust bunny in, you know, in the room in the back corner. Like I sat with it for like a day and was like, man, that felt gross. That felt like really gross, like really sticky. And then I was like, but why? And so when I looked at it from the intuitive space, I was like, oh, I know what I'm doing. I'm trying to perfect something that should be playful. I'm placing judgment on something that is a is is in process. And you can't perfect play. I don't think so. I mean, if you can, God bless. But I do not feel like play is something that needs perfection.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Unless it's just trusting that whatever happens, then play when you play is gonna be awesome. I think that's the only way you can really perfect play is by trusting that you won't know what's gonna happen.

Curiosity And Play As Practice

Questions Plus Events And Invitations

SPEAKER_01 11:14

And you're gonna have fun and you're gonna love it. So stay curious, play is is a saying that I have. Because when you're curious, it's hard to be angry, it's hard to be judgmental, it's hard to other the other person, place or thing, whatever it is. And when you're curious, I'm sorry, when you're um playful, like you still experience all the emotions, you still go on the roller coaster but of emotions, but you don't, you don't hang on to them. I'm thinking of like my kids or kids that I've taught as toddlers or younger kids. Man, are they in the moment. They like play, they're in the moment, they feel everything so strong. As an actor, same thing. You know, you feel so strongly, and then you let it go. You detach. It's not always that easy, but it's play. Its nature is to be light, its nature is to flow, its nature is to be material. So, what I'm offering today, besides this long-winded story, are a couple of things. Where in your life can you be more curious? Where in your life have you lost or disconnected with the ability or the joy of play? How can you bring it back? That is it for this week. And I'd love to hear what you find in the comments of the show, if you're watching on YouTube or listening on a podcast, or you can find me on all socials at Magnetize Your Light. So, in addition to those offerings, I have a couple more offerings I would like to give to you today. If you are connected to your intuition, you know what I'm saying about everybody having this power, this ability, this capacity, but not the tools or the space in which to practice. I got you. What we do at Magnetize Your Light every month is to meet up virtually and we play. We meditate, we play, and we connect. And it's just delightful. It's a beautiful way to fill up your cup. It's an amazing community of like-minded souls, positive and very nurturing. If you would like to join us, please do come. It's free your first time, and it's a very minimal donation afterwards if you'd like to come back and get on our list. So please do that if you can. Also, if you are in Chicago, where I am, I have an in-person energetic reset workshop coming up at Anne's Haven in Portage Park. That's Saturday, the 18th. And this workshop we will go through some energetic tools like meditating, like tapping indoor intuition, like playing creatively, drawing, painting, doodling, whatever, right? And then connecting through a little bit of a nosh and tea afterwards. My workbook, Magnetize Your Light, which I don't know where it is right now, will be included with the workshop for you to take home and explore. And that takes you on an intuitive journey of peeling back the layers and kind of unraveling, unraveling all the stuck, sticky layers that trap us from seeing our light crystally clear. Crystally clear? I'm not sure if that's a word. But so you can find all that information on my website, magnetizeyourlight.com, underneath events or upcoming events. The 14th of April is when we are doing the Magnetize Your Light Connect monthly meetup. And the focus this month, we take the focus from the energetic moon cycle.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

And so this month we are focusing on courage. What is courage? How do you have it? How do you use it? We explore it.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

All right. If you have any questions for me, you can find me at Magnetize Your Light or MagnetizeYourLight.com. Big, big, big buckets of love. Stay curious, listen to your intuition, trust your intuition and go make some magic today. Bye.