115: The Impact You’re Making Right Now

The man you are today is already making an impact. You do not need a new title, a new goal, or a major life change to affect the people around you. The question is whether your presence is building people up, weighing them down, or leaving them cold. Today we make the case that self-improvement is not the destination. It is the training ground for showing up with more strength, clarity, and usefulness in the lives that matter most.

Highlights:

• Why self-improvement is training, not the mission
• The story of Tommy’s uncle and the lasting impact he had on students
• How overwork and exhaustion change the way a man shows up at home
• Why discipline and resilience should lead to contribution, not self-focus
• Real examples of men creating ripple effects in their families and communities
• How better habits can turn into better leadership, presence, and service

Practical takeaways:

• Take an honest look at the effect you’re having on the people around you right now
• Build yourself with a purpose so your growth turns into service
• Change one habit that will help you show up better at home, at work, or in your community

The man you are becoming matters because of what it gives other people. Get stronger. Get more disciplined. Get healthier. Then put it to work where it counts.

ADVENTURE TRIP:

Registration is open for our Yosemite trip this fall.

If you’ve been wanting something substantial on your calendar this is it.

Check out details -> https://www.tommygcoaching.com/yosemite-2026

Transcript

What Impact Are You Making

A Teacher's Lasting Legacy

Self-Improvement As Training

Turning Growth Into Contribution

Coaching And Yosemite Hike Invite

Purpose And Final Challenge

SPEAKER_00 0:54

This is the Durable Dad Podcast. I'm your host, Tommy Geary. This show is going to give you the skills and tools you need to be a rock solid man for your work, your community, and most importantly, your family. All right, what's happening? Episode 115. I have been thinking lately about the kind of impact we have on the people around us right now. If nothing changed about your life today, how are you showing up? Positive, negative, kind of neutral, distracted, irritated, engaged, absent. I have an uncle that passed away last year. And he died of cancer. It went pretty quick. And I got to hang out with him, me, my mom, my dad, a couple of my cousins, towards the end of his life. And he was talking about the best decision he ever made was becoming a teacher. And he didn't become a teacher until he was around 50 years old. He had his own business. After he sold it, he went back to school and he became a teacher. And I didn't ask him why that was the best decision, but I'm pretty sure it was because of the impact that he made. When he died, there was a virtual obituary, and a bunch of the responses were his students. He had students posting that were his students in 2012, over a decade ago. And they talked about how they remembered him and his class vividly, and that he had a larger-than-life personality and that he made learning fun. One of the kids commented that in his yearbook in eighth grade, my uncle wrote, You're a shining light in a sometimes dark world. And the kid said that that has always stuck with him. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him. That's pretty awesome impact. When I made my career change and left the corporate world in 2018, my uncle was one of my big inspirations. And the reason that I'm thinking about this now is because self-development is such a big focus. I talk about it on the podcast all the time: better habits, discipline, optimization, productivity, getting stronger. It's all over social media. But something important gets lost in that conversation. And that lost message is that self-improvement isn't the goal. Self-improvement is training. Think about the military. I've never been in the military, but my understanding is you start with basic training. You get fit, you get stronger physically, mentally, and then that prepares you to serve the mission of the military, to make the bigger impact. It's the same thing with personal development. Personal development is preparation for the mission. And the mission is contribution. It doesn't have to be this huge heroic contribution that you make. Already, every day, just living in this world, you are making a contribution. You are impacting the world. So the question is, is what kind of impact are you making? And for the guys that I work with that I coach one-on-one, or the men that are signing up for the hikes in the Grand Canyon or the hike to Yosemite in the fall, they're asking this question of themselves. And usually overworking, feeling exhausted leads to checking out at home and not as engaged at home, not as healthy in the body. And they're realizing that they're not making the positive impact that they want on their families and the people in their life. So what happens is they decide to get better. And they get better by signing up for a big hike and going through that process, or they start getting coached on a weekly basis, and we start navigating obstacles that way. And these new goals develop the self, build resilience, build more confidence, and then they start impacting in a different way. One of the guys that went with us to the Grand Canyon last year started a men's hiking group. So now his self-development is helping other men. Another guy, him and his son, have done some backpacking trips. Another guy, through the process of coaching and doing an outdoor challenge, he realized that he wasn't balancing life very well. And he learned how to delegate, say no in his business a little bit more so he could work on himself. And what he realized is that he was setting a better example for his employees. He had talked a lot about work-life balance, but he wasn't demonstrating that. And when he wasn't demonstrating that, his employees felt pressure to keep working harder and work longer hours. So these men they develop themselves, they go through the personal development thing, and it ripples. It ripples into the world around them. And that's what we're looking for. So if you're a man listening to this podcast, I know women listen to this podcast too. So if you're a woman, ask yourself as well what kind of impact am I making right now? You can pick any area of your life, reflect on it, and if you're making a positive impact, awesome. Celebrate it. If you're not, what do you need to do to develop yourself to make that positive impact? Right now, I've got coaching slots available right now. We're signing up people for the Yosemite hike in the fall. Those are two easy options to start developing yourself. Self-improvement matters, it's important because it is training. Training for the mission to serve the greater good, to make positive contributions to this world. I believe the purpose of our life is to help other people get better. So make yourself awesome, then make the rest of the world awesome, and I'll catch you next time.