The Cripple Chronicles
A podcast about ilizarov frames, amputation and the journey to accepting and embracing disability after being involved in a near fatal car accident.
The Cripple Chronicles
THE POD IS BACK! Disability Pride and AITA for sleeping with a disabled guy on the first date?
Hi friends!
After taking a few months off, I thought i would call my come back a season 2. I have a bit of a plan for episodes and i am really excited with how this episode came out with my editing and just how it flows! I am wanting to do more AITA stories; feel free to send me your own 👀 to cripplechroniclespod@gmail.com.
I am also going to be reading some of my poetry, having a look on at least 10 years since writing some of them. As well as some poems from my favourite creators online, and on paper.
I also want to take a bit of a leap into doing some deep dives on reality TV shows that i enjoy watching - these videos wont be avaliable on audio, however just videos on this youtube channel!!
I hope you enjoy this weeks episode, i am trying to get back on with being consistent with fortnightly updates, not sure of time if i have a day like when i was posting this, it may be early in the day.. it may be later. but always on a Friday! Much love 🥰
Email: cripplechroniclespod@gmail.com
Socials: @cripplechroniclespod on Instagram + Tiktok
Introduction: 00:00 -
Beacon of Resilience Poem:
AITA Story Part 1:
AITA Story Part 2:
AITA Story Part 3:
Some Part 3 Comments:
End of Part 3:
AITA Story Part 4:
Outro:
Music: Skating On the Uppers by National Sweetheart
Hi friends, welcome to the Cripple Chronicles podcast. My name is Becca and I haven't posted in a while so this is what we are gonna call season two of the podcast. This is something that's quite difficult for me to be honest because one of my New Year's resolutions, although I don't really do New Year's resolutions, was that I wanted to be more consistent with the podcast and I had a plan for episodes that I was going to do and little series's and trying to like get guests on and things like that. However, life happens sometimes and life has been happening quite a lot to an extent where right now I'm just not ready to fully openly talk about things on the podcast to be honest. Everything is still a mess in my head and I don't even know how to put it together in a way that would be helpful for myself or even helpful for anybody else. I feel like it would end up just being like a total jumbo. So here we are, it has been a couple of months since I posted a podcast and I have actually got something recorded that has been sitting and I've just not got around to editing it or finishing it off because there was things that I'd said and then stuff had changed and it didn't feel right to put it out because it felt unauthentic and I was really kind of overthinking it and then I've had a lot of task paralysis when it comes to the podcast because it is something that is really important to me and like I said I had that goal for myself that I wanted to be more consistent with the podcast and I did that with kind of social media and getting on top of posting on TikTok a bit too much because then I ended up I think kind of being like shadow banned because all of my videos were only getting like 50, 60 views but anyway that then gave me a lack of motivation to then be posting on TikTok and scheduling things so I didn't and then just stuff has happened where it has been weighing quite a bit on me that I know that I need to record a podcast episode because I need to for myself for my own goals this is something that whilst being disabled it takes up time it gives me enjoyment it helps me to have a voice when a lot of the time I've been silent or silenced I think recently whilst I've been struggling those kind of old thought patterns have been sneaking back in where I feel like my voice isn't really important and I know that that's not true so anyway that little introduction and backstory on what has been happening with me and where I have been for season two of the podcast I'm switching it up a little bit to be honest recently well on the first season I started talking about my accident my recovery the the whole journey and then I did episodes about living with the frame representation for different disabilities things that I found important trying to talk about different disabilities whereas on season two of the podcast this is going to be something that is less about my experience because it is something that I am struggling with right now and can't really speak about so like I don't mean like I can't speak about it for any other reason than like I'm struggling with it because just when I said it like that almost sounded like when people are talking about something and they're like for legal reasons I can't disclose that ain't it I'm just all scrambled and my brain just now where it doesn't feel right to say things and if I recorded a podcast I would probably end up cutting a lot of it out because it wouldn't make sense and I've already went over this at the start of it so you can see this has been a reoccurring loop that has been going round in my brain but anyway back to what I was saying season two of the podcast especially for today and the upcoming episodes is going to be some reddit stories still about disability maybe about mental health visible disabilities physical disabilities I am also looking for other stories so if you have a story feel free to send me a at cripple chronicles pod at gmail.com this isn't something that I am planning on doing on the long term like I don't want the podcast just turn into me reading reddit stories about disability but I am also wanting to incorporate poetry into it poetry has been something that has been a massive help to me throughout all of my life really since I started struggling with my mental illness and I have found a lot of poems in the past that have been helpful for me I see a lot of stuff on Instagram I've shared a few poems and one of my episodes that was really helpful for me if you don't know I may have mentioned that in previous episodes in 2018 I actually released a book of my own poetry you will not find it on Amazon or anything like that because I didn't list it there I created my own website I'd got them published just like not published printed just by myself like it was a very small thing but I ended up selling like maybe 30 so of my books and I have actually started going through them and labeling poems that I would like to read out on the podcast and also kind of looking at them now and where I am kind of five to eight years on from maybe when I first wrote those poems so that is what it is gonna be like for the foreseeable future and then season three will be back and kind of like season one where it is more kind of what is going on in my life I am wanting to talk more about kind of medical I am wanting to talk more about medical cannabis getting an energy-efficient wheelchair through the NHS kind of struggling with disability a mental health kind of things there is lots of things that I want to discuss and I would like to discuss with other people by having other voices on the podcast so hopefully in season three that will come to but anyway I am gonna stop rambling wrap up this intro for today and get into the main podcast episode I am hopefully going to be posting this podcast episode in the month of July which is Disability Pride Month and for Disability Pride Month I sat and I wrote a bit of a poem I'm hoping to put a kind of video together on Instagram looking at my recovery with a shorter version of the poem but I thought I would start today's podcast off with my longer version of the poem that I wrote for Disability Pride Month and then we will get into today's am I the asshole story or I'm gonna need to think of a better way to phrase that am I the a-hole am I the yeah I'm just gonna have to go with am I the a-hole or yeah but anyway yes let's see this poem I have all of my stuff on my iPad today so if I'm kinda looking down that's what I'm doing I'm looking at my iPad because it was just easier to sit and kind of do it there and today as well I had set everything up in the living room for me to record and then I was hit with a wave of pain and it flared up really badly and I took some meds and I sat for a bit and I really hoped it would get better however it didn't so I am recording from my bed with my electric blanket on giving some heat to where my pain is and it is kind of helping so let's hope it doesn't cause too many bothers and em yeah poem time also in the past few months since I have posted I used to be terrible for drinking water this isn't sponsored in any kind of way because this is out of my tap and if you're listening and you have no idea what I'm talking about I have a like two liter bottle however in the past few weeks since I bought this for like $4.99 what a bargain I have been drinking so much more water and this is a PSA for all our people out there who are on SSRIs especially sertraline and I can't remember the other one but you are more prone to overheating I know today in Glasgow is roughly around about 18 19 degrees I'm feeling a bit sweaty with my heat blanket on and I'm not even on any wow I'm not even on any antidepressants so if you are on some SSRIs have a look up and see if heat impacts you more because if it does remember to stay hydrated because you don't want to overheat and end up dehydrated because you can end up pretty unwell with it I'm not gonna say too much because I don't know too much about it but just have a look see if your meds affect you in that kind of way I am gonna stop babbling have a drink and then read this poem I'm clearly feeling a wee bit anxious because I have written poetry for a while I have put a book out but I've never really done spoken word and I've done it on a podcast before but this poem was wrote more as spoken word and I feel like I'm just kind of getting in my head about it a wee bit so I am gonna say now for like the second or third time let me drink some water and I will get into this poem god damn Becca can you see why I've taken a few months off recording because brain go woo woo I decided that I would call this poem beacon of resilience it was hard initially for me to think of disability pride especially as for a long time I would have done anything to hide away there are so many things I took for granted living in an able body where for months I really thought that my broken bones would heal and I would go back to normal back to work back to being a nurse that was my dream I had worked so hard to get there qualified for two weeks then it slipped through my fingers like sand whenever I would leave the house with a frame on I would feel like I had a beacon alerting people of me inviting them to intrude on my day they'd gasp and ask what happened with a look of pity sympathy empathy after uttering the words car accident they'd be gone the cage the 40-odd pins surely it had to be something more crazy that had happened right sometimes it felt like people were disappointed that I didn't have a more exciting story for my trauma please even if you are curious do not go up to somebody using a mobility aid and ask them what happened our medical history and trauma are none of your concern if I need help I will ask I would scream if I had to so please do not feel the need to swoop in and help when I do not need it it took me a very long time to accept my disability never mind feeling pride the second frame I got I spent hours alone in my hospital room trying to look under the covers because I knew when my leg was fused there was no going back only forwards I would be a lifelong patient I would be physically disabled I didn't know how I would have lived the quality of life I have now with a fused straight leg unfortunately my leg could not sustain my weight all of my hard work over two and a half years snapped along with my knee I knew when it happened that amputation was the only way forward and I even had an amputation celebration to say goodbye to my leg as soon as I got in my wheelchair I was doing wheelies with my friends telling me to be careful I was discharged home and my walking progressed quickly in a short amount of time with my prosthetic then came problems after problems and I took those setbacks on the chin the quality of life I have in my wheelchair and hopping about is something I never could have imagined five years ago get into five years on from my accident still alive amazing in itself looking through photos I realize how much I've done how much I've adapted grown changed most importantly how much I love every version of myself through that process being physically disabled helped me to accept my mental illness my autism I was never too sensitive too dramatic too emotional I was a dysregulated child burnt out overwhelmed trying to mask and people please embracing my disability learning the wheelchair skills that I did meant that when one of my best friends became a wheelchair user she knew she could do it because I could there is so much acceptance from people around you when they clean the mud off of your wheelchair tires and help you to hobble up the stairs like you're in some kind of sitcom accepting myself as a whole was difficult but freeing for so long I tried to make everyone else happy I threw myself into nursing felt like I could make a difference save people I was miserable and I didn't know why I'm proud of who I've become and all of the avenues I could have taken I grew and loving myself it helps others to embrace themselves too and that is so special that I think has always been my purpose clouded by trauma my inner child could have never dreamed of this acceptance took time but the more I accepted myself the easier things became I get to do so many things that with one leg feels like I'm doing them for the first time an experience that most people never have heartache pain tears anger grief loss but I wouldn't change it I am proud to be a badass one-legged disabled bitch and I love that I can still explore advocate for myself and others I can be proud to be disabled whilst admitting that sometimes it is fucking hard sometimes it feels really bad and it is okay to complain the world is not disability and that weight can feel extremely heavy happy disability pride month remember you can become disabled at any moment everyone is one bad day away from ending up as a wheelchair user or disabled in general that felt so wild to read that out and I feel like I did it exactly and the way I wanted to with only a few slip-ups so I hope you enjoyed hearing that and yes I am going to take a wee minute to have a bit more water because my throat is so dry and then I will get on to the reddit story which is a good one for the starter because I found a four-parter that has a happy ending to spoiler alert sorry but yeah there's a happy ending and I read a few parts of it like bits and pieces and it just felt like a bit of a feel-good story so yes let me take a moment to have a drink and I will get into the am I the a-hole story. The am I the a-hole story is from r slash a-i-t-a-h and it is from a throwaway account. The first post was made 82 days ago and the most recent post was only a couple of days ago from when I found it which was like last week so only like a week ago and the title of it is am I the a-hole for breaking my number one sex rule with a handicapped guy. Obviously throwaway I don't need anyone here seeing my regular account I'm also in the US and English as my first language and any discrepancies are because I suck at typing on my phone so too long didn't read for the give me the bare bones I don't have all day to read on the shitter crew my number one sexual since high school has been no sex before the third date I recently broke that rule with a handicapped guy and now my childhood best friend is pissed and grossed out because she thinks I have some weird kind of fetish okay context full story I'm a 28 female my childhood best friend will call her dress is also 28 female to put it simply I don't think I'm any kind of prude I just don't feel comfortable with casual sex never have my best friends knows us and has teased me about it lately in the past she's been in a long-term relationship for the last three years I have mostly been single whilst working on my degree and starting my career Jess lives in another state with her boyfriend so we don't hang out much anymore well from the way that story goes I ain't surprised so about a month ago I had a first date with a guy I'd been talking to for a bit though it was going places he gave me weird vibes on the date and I cut and ran early on my way home I stopped at a local pub figured I had a drink to unwind and people watched till it wore off tipsy driving is still drunk driving in my opinion I get there and it's pretty packed Friday night and all and there was no seating room at the bar took my drink and looked around most of all of the restaurant side of the pub was somebody's birthday party but there was a small table with a seat open off to the side with a guy reading a book there so I say eff it I'm a social person and what's the worst that happens he says no so I ask if I can sit for a bit and I promise we don't have to talk or anything at this point I feel like I've effed up because this guy up close as the hottest man I have ever seen but he just smiled at me and gave me an enthusiastic sure a few minutes later of me sipping in silence and he says I don't mind talking if you want to yeah I want to are you kidding me right now we talk for a bit and it turns out Mike fake name is 29 has just finished his master's degree and some kind of computing field I program computers to program computers and he's living on his own for the first time he apparently stops by the pub after work because he's right round the corner and he's not used to silence yet after living so long with half of after living so long with half a dozen half a dozen siblings Jesus Christ that was really hard for me to spit that one out there that is a right tongue twister we talked for a good two hours about everything from dating which he said he's basically given up on to hobbies and tastes and we have near total eclipse of the Venn diagram on this stuff I eventually started a bloody doubt that I don't know why he'd given up on D and this is the closest thing I have had to a good day and forever shooting my shot obliquely here lol he gets a kind of odd look in his face and says tell you what I have to go to the bathroom but when I come back I'll ask you for real weird but okay then it clicks because he doesn't get up to walk away he just rolls and his wheelchair and I'm thinking oh my god he wanted to give me a chance to back out of this without making it awkward how cute can this guy be he grinned like crazy when he got back and so I was still sitting there and I basically tripped over myself saying something to the effect of so I'm free all weekend what did you have in mind that that kind of made me happy to read because like I feel like that smile on his face was probably because there's so many times where somebody has came up and maybe hasn't realized that he has he's sitting in a wheelchair and not in a seat and then when they realize he's in a wheelchair they kind of back out which I can see is kind of being a safety mechanism of like I'll go to the toilet and give you a chance to leave so like my feelings don't get hurt and so that you also know that I am in a wheelchair but also that smile when he come back of just being like genuine of like wow yeah she likes me even though I am disabled which is a feeling that I get sometimes and I feel like it's not a feeling I should have because I'm me and just like my wheelchair is a part of me it comes as a part of a deal and my disability is dynamic I can do more more things on one day than another and then do less because I'm in too much pain and sometimes I do feel like that is a lot for somebody to take on and it can feel like it's too much sometimes however I have started to use the mantra if I am too much then go find less and yes let's get back to the story after me getting sidetracked on that wee bit but that was just like a wee bit where I wanted to stop at because I'm like I can get that feeling sometimes if I'd like somebody had come up to me and then I would be like okay I'm just gonna like scoot to the toilet and I'll see you back here now that in my head is like damn that is something that I would do on a date like if I just randomly met somebody because I use apps and things like that that show I have a wheelchair so like if somebody was not happy about the fact that I was in a wheelchair when I turned up to a date I'd be like what the fuck were you expecting like hello anyway yes and this electric blanket is getting warm another hour later we have plans for Saturday and he told me he has neuromuscular disorder I can't remember the name of it my degree isn't in STEM lol so his legs work but the signals from his brain get misinterpreted so he doesn't have the balance or coordination for walking or standing The pub starts to switch over to the younger, rowdier crowd and he asks if I'd like to go back to his place for a coffee to continue our conversation. As you have probably long since realised, I do not get any coffee or conversation till the next morning and I have zero regrets. We've been dating since and I know it's still early but I really feel like this might be the one. Onward to yesterday afternoon, my friend Jess, remember Jess? Is in town and we go out for a coffee to catch up on things. I'm gushing about Mike but when I get to how we met she just sort of gets weird and edgy. I don't remember the exact words she said but she essentially said that I must have a fetish for the handicapped since I broke my number one rule and it's the best physical relationship I've ever been in. Like it's good for me because he uses a wheelchair not because the guy puts an effort in bed. She said I've changed as a person and left without even saying goodbye. 15 years of friendship and I've never seen her like that. So here I am asking the most objective people online, ha ha, if I am an a-hole or weird for being super attracted to a guy who uses a wheelchair and basically putting it out immediately. Damn like when I read this initially it was like the end parts so when I went back to this first one I was at Eleanor's and I was like damn this story is wild. Like she went on a date, it didn't go well so she went for a drink to sober up, met another guy, went back to his, slept with him like and because she broke the number one rule she wasn't going to meet that guy to go on a date so it doesn't really matter anyway because it wasn't actually like a first date so really it's just a random sexual encounter or like a one night stand if they didn't keep dating. But I mean I guess like I was gonna say even if you go for a date with somebody and sleep with them it can be a one night stand so like I don't know. But yeah I just thought it was a very odd thing for a friend to say like oh you broke your number one rule and it must be the reason because the guy is in a wheelchair not because he's attractive, has good chat, is charming, like all of these other things. But this is only the first part of four parts. I think I, yep, I looked at some comments here. I only took a few from kind of each part but the one I took here from this part is she's got a weird fetish for super hot guys who are kind and well-spoken and F like a hero. What a weirdo. Sarcasm in case it's not obvious. And the OP replied okay yeah this made me laugh for real. Seriously what a weird fetish I have. And then somebody else responded hey that's my fetish too. Here I was thinking I was the only one. So she got a bit of like jokey back and forth from the commenters. So she then did a part two two days later and she kind of linked to the previous post as well. And she started it off with my first ever update yay. Uh so if you were hoping for some terrible drama I hate to break it to you that I don't roll like that. No pun intended. So I do have an update on Jess and shit finally perfectly makes sense. And I have a slightly NSFW, not safe for work, but funny story about Mike because this guy is just the best. Okay so first I messaged Jess yesterday and basically said I'm still hurt by what you said but after 15 years of friendship I never forgive myself if I didn't at least ask why you snapped at me like that. She replied immediately I am so fucking sorry I didn't mean any of that can we do can we have a do-over on lunch. So I agreed cautiously and took a half day to meet with her today. Turns out that those of you who said she was jealous and that she might have something else going on and especially the person who said something might be going on in her relationship gold stars. She's in town because she's job hunting because she's moving back in with her parents for a while since her relationship has ended. Apparently they have been having a ton of small problems adding up but the biggest one sex. Can't see why she snapped. The guy she's been with was apparently never great but it's gotten to the point where he's made no effort at all for her to enjoy herself and then gets pissed when she isn't in the mood. She's tried talking with him about it making suggestions but he told her recently that it's emasculating being given sexual advice by a woman. Bro like if you wanna have good boom boom with your woman or any partner to be honest take on the advice that they're fucking giving you like not everybody is the same you can't stick it in and just thrust a wee bit like sometimes different people need different things to get off so listen to what they're saying if they want to please your partner and if you don't want to please your partner then go get a fucking fleshlight or something like that. Anyway back to the story. What hour was that? The straw that broke the metaphorical camel's back however was that her boyfriend has always had a thing for Asian women. She's caucasian but since she does have long black hair after weeks of fighting over their sex life he suggested they spice things up by her dressing in a kimono and pretending to be Asian. She lost it on him and is absolutely disgusted by the racist fetishism and ended it right there. Holy shit. Okay I can get why you would be touchy and kinda be like this guy's trying to racially profile me because he likes one specific race of people which is fucked if you are somebody who just dates one specific race of people. That's weird. Everybody can have preferences but if like you're I don't know I just think that is odd. So she had all of this bottled up and she was hoping to talk to me and finally be able to put it down and I missed every hint that something big was to discuss because I was gushing about Mike. So to her it felt like I was twisting the knife by bragging about how great our sex was and she snapped. And somewhere between what I was saying and what she wanted to talk about somehow wires got crossed and she said something incredibly dumb. She left without saying goodbye because she was mortified and ashamed as well as irrationally mad at me. Something to know about Jess she's an awful liar and she and I were the co-founders of her high school's foot and mouth society so I do believe her. I told her I forgive her and she said I was too stupidly nice and have nothing to apologise for so I do think we'll be okay. For the first time I'm not ready for her. I need to go back and read that again. I've just got mumbled up there. For the time being I'm not ready for her and Mike to meet because I don't want to make things feel worse and she agrees but she's really happy for me. Hopefully this is just a funny story we can look back on someday. So on how Mike almost killed me lol. Last night we were talking about the reddit post and he gets this funny expression like I'm starting to recognise and he goes how do we know that you don't have a fetish if we haven't at least attempted to try it in the chair and I'm like are you serious lol and he says well we've never attempted it because qtears he's never felt comfortable with a partner before well his chair has what is essentially like a parking brake thing or should or it should. It's unfortunately broken and apparently getting them fixed is an expensive pain in the ass. He doesn't use it that often so he hasn't made it a priority and there's this thing called Newton's third law. You know how every action has an equal and opposite reaction. As it happens when you're trying to sort of get the motion of the ocean going in the chair with wheels that aren't locked there's a sort of counter motion that starts and fucks it all up. So we were going nowhere fast except for inching along the floor in his bedroom and laughing at all of the silliness which isn't helping. Eventually he just stops and says maybe we can get some of those wooden block things to keep the little planes from rolling away like in the indiana jones you know. I almost lost it like laughing laughing so hard I'm in tears. He's giggling half the situation and half of my reaction and everything just keeps setting me off again. Finally I get under control doing some deep breathing exercises and shit and I look at him again and he pulls me the straightest face he can and says for the love of god golly this sure is uncomfortable. Folks if I had asthma I would have fucking died right there. I laughed so hard I think I pulled a rib like wheezing and he's not even laughing anymore so much as weeping and making this awful heee noise when I could catch my breath while he's laughing and rubbing my back saying he's sorry but he couldn't resist. So yeah confirmed no fetish here and this magnificent bastard's comedic timing might actually kill me. I doubt I'll update again because there's really nothing I can say needing to share given everything sort of worked out and in the end the real assholes were the friends we made along the way. I don't know. Thanks for all of the lovely comments on my last post and coming along with me on this absurd but brief drama in my life. That is so funny like I can ima- I'm like I'm sitting here looking at my wheelchair being like yeah I can imagine it not really working out trying to do it when the brakes aren't working because like she said you would just be like inching across the floor but I can see why our friend flipped out kind of being like you broke this rule so you must have this fetish that you've never talked about because my husband or boyfriend or whatever had a fetish and then tried to dress me up in a kimono so I would be Asian so that it would turn him on and we would have sex more when the fact of the matter that was the issue was that he wasn't really arsed about pleasing her in the first place so why the fuck is she gonna dress up and like do some kind of racial role play when you aren't even gonna make her finish like what is the point bro like even then I know I'm making a wee bit too much light of it but I already kind of covered how I find it is fucked up but I'm like if you find it is eh what was it demasculating to be given sexual advice from your partner don't date like you sound like you are an incel to be honest I have a few a few partners no I have a few comments on this post which was honestly wholesome congrats on finding a great dude and best of luck to your friend I love this update I hope your I love your friend and wish her the best and I'm super proud of you for having the constitution to leave that asshole what I love your friend and wish her the best and I am super proud of her for having the constitution to leave that asshole ex of hers and come and clean and apologize to you I love you I love Mike and then another person said I want this as a movie or a novel so bad you are a pretty good writer and OP said thank you I don't think it would sell though there's no high stakes to say there's no high stakes to spice up the drama I'd have to make shit up lol this is like the beginning but aliens invades or something so then there is a part three even though she said she didn't think she would have to update or anything let's see with all of my bumbling and rambling and getting sidetracked I'm like 40 40 minutes into recording so let's get through part three and part four and finish this episode off for the day because I'm starting to mash my words up so update am I the asshole for breaking my sexual with a handicapped guy met his family hello again I was going to post this on my own page but a few people mentioned that they think it would be nice to read on A-I-T-A-H so effort here's the how I met Mike's family's update and it is a doozy or at least it felt like it at the time for a girl who grew up with a small dysfunctional family so first up you know what people at least me don't think about when dating a guy who's always sitting height I know he's taller than me because we cuddle a lot and he's taller sitting on the couch but I didn't really get it so we drive up on Friday night after work actually south and west lol but to my brain it's always up in his vehicle which is modified to be driven entirely using his hands neat right he's a really good driver too one more green flag I tried one of those uh hand control cars or like I tried what it would be like to drive one when I went to my driving assessment and it was not for me I really just prefer having my little left foot accelerator but like yeah hand controlled driving is a very common thing back to this little update I keep losing where I am I feel like I should be at my pencil out and like drawing where I am we get to the house and it's it's huge guys lol like not a mansion just kind of a sprawling one floor rancher real estate was wild back in the day anyway we get out I meet his mum and I'd like to point out I'm no slouch I'm five friggin seven his mum is towering over me but she was the nicest lady ever we go inside I meet his dad who is funny enough and is apparently the only short one in the family and his younger sister who is living there with his one year old niece she gets up to hug me and she is also really tall it's already a bit late then so we eat and we head to bed I get to see his cute ass shit room from when he was a teenager and I casually ask hey so uh I don't know how this works and stuff but how tall are you and make us all I don't know like a bit over six four been a while since I checked a bit over six four so is everyone in your family tall kinda we met the nordic basketball team he calls his family properly the next day actually they're irish but they're blonde and tall so it conveys the idea better the only one of to resemble height and still taller than me was his older sister lol and they are also loud like not really shouting or anything usually just present make us a lot different a lot around them but in the cutest way like he just beams all the time and you can see how happy he is to be home one of his brothers put him in a headlock and gave him a damn noogie as a greeting and got elbowed in the side for it and all of them were laughing and his mum smacked one of his brothers with a rolled up magazine for putting his feet on the table more laughing just intimidating but in the happiest way imaginable I'll admit I was a little shut down for a bit but Mike kept on checking in with me to make sure I was okay and they were all really nice so I got into the spirit of it after a bit and I can definitely feel that coming from somewhere that's not really had a big family or like a lot of connections or like always being around a large amount of family like consistently I do feel like really overwhelmed when there's lots of people and they're all laughing and joking and getting on so I can totally see how that would have been overwhelming and that she was feeling a bit shut down by it carrying on I mentioned this in another comment but Mike has a special sports wheelchair he uses for well sports and he and his siblings play basketball and he is good apart from just having a hell of an arm he's quick as hell and this magnificent bastard that I love will absolutely purposefully gleefully run over somebody's toes he aims for it they all have to yank back the foot manoeuvre and it's hysterical to watch so it was this crazy day of loud people playing and having a blast nieces and nephews running around and just noise my ears are still ringing the food was catered in advance because his mum had seven babies all I make on mother's day is margaritas and they all have a pool and it was a bit chilly but the pool is still heated so we actually got to swim which was a lot of fun because I love to show off that I too am athletic I can do a backward somersault off a diving board yeah I'm a real catch lol they at least pretended to be impressed in the comments where thanks for sharing I read all of your posts and oh I am melting I needed that and OP said oh I'm glad I felt weird posting something that's kind of off topic from the original but I've been told it helps cancel out some of the negativity so why not first commenter replied it really does you made me giggle and feel warm thanks for that you both sound charming and delightful wishing you all the best and OP said I feel like I found my forever person I never thought I'd experienced that life is still life uh but I feel like I changed my game settings to co-op and it's so much better to play through and that is so so bloody adorable like oh I read a comment there and I haven't even finished the story so I'm gonna finish reading the story and then I'll read the other comments this is getting chaotic now as we're getting near the end of my recording wow we stayed up late drinking and bitching that it was too overcast to see the aurora boo and I had the worst hangover I've had in a while on Sunday we slept in a bit late and then joined Mike's family for a barbecue part of the barbecue weekend his dad can grill people and he's fast food coming off the grill at lightning speed I asked Mike about it and he laughed and said there was seven of us to feed ever seen a nest of baby birds he had practice which fair enough I don't have much experience with babies but I got to hold his youngest niece the one living at home with his with his sis until her husband gets back from deployment and we had a light talk about kids in the future I told him that I never put much thought into it but if they were going to grow up in a happy home like his and not how I grew up I'm pretty sure I'd be open to having them with him someday but later I need him to myself for a while first he seemed really really happy about that which makes me feel all goofy and happy I'm so sappy we had to drive home Sunday night but before we went his mum hugged me and said she's never seen his son like this and thanked me for taking good care of her baby and asked if we'd be back for 4th of July or if we'd be doing something with my family I tried to be all ha no we'll be here if you don't mind I don't see them much and I think she caught on that there's no more there's more to the story so she just tugged the shit out of me vikings all of them I swear and told me that she can't wait to see me again my ears are still ringing from all of the noise and chaos but it was an absolute blast and I can't wait to see them again in July also pretty much sure Mike is the man I am going to marry I literally can't think of a single reason I would ever let him get away anyway thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely weekend somebody said not the asshole sounds like you found a happy family to join good for you and Mike and she'd said it's still pretty surreal the other in-laws that were there were all like that smiling hanging guy meme first time it was a great weekend I'm gonna need to find that meme and like put it on screen with this video because I have no idea what meme that is maybe if you're listening you do know if you don't you need to come to the podcast and find it somebody else said this story is so heartwarming it belongs on best of reddit updates congratulations at some parts I felt like I was reading about roark family dynamics and one of the Nora Roberts JD Robb's Eve now the geez oh that's a very long word Nora Roberts JD Robb's Eve Dallas novels the whole Irish family vibes were just there so lovely and then the OP said aha I don't think it's interesting enough for that but I'm glad people are enjoying it and then somebody had said this is so goddamn cute reading this is like listening to one of my besties talk and it makes me want to have a pint of you I'm so happy you're happy congrats and OP responded oh thank you it's funny I never drink beer but Mike figured out I hate bitter slash hops so he wants to plan a beer tasting weekend to introduce me to things I might actually like so maybe in the near future I'll actually have a pint I like to share and thank you the support is overwhelming I'm still feeling a bit weird about updating here because pretty sure I'm not the asshole now lol but I love making people happy so if for the first time stories of my life make people happy I am not going to shut up and that just felt so so lovely to be honest like that last comment really kind of sums it up like reading it is so wholesome it's so lovely the relationship sounds so nice and it really was just an off chance of meeting somebody in a bar not having any free tables sitting down and having a drink and saying by the way we don't need to talk and then you end up meeting his family and you feel like you have found the person that you're potentially gonna marry and you've spoke about having kids with them like that is such a whirlwind but also like it is one of those heartwarming stories like it was it's it's like a rom-com kind of story anyway we have the last and final update for this I am actually going to take my cardigan off because I am starting to get boiling I'm overheating the sweat is pouring off of of me off of of me but yeah I'll take a minute to do that it will be a second for you and then we will get into the final update for this story which was on the 4th of July I'm recording this on the 16th of July and hopefully maybe it should be posted this week or next we'll see how the video is doing but yeah let me give a minute and then I'll do part four and then I'll wrap it up for the day gosh that feels nice having some fresh air on my skin let's see what part four is I didn't keep the title of this so it's just part four As I've gotten a ton of requests for updates, I figured I would let you guys know how things are going in my world. You know how sometimes a relationship looks amazing at first, but then all the red flags start showing up? This isn't one of these stories, lol. Sorry, that was mean, but I really couldn't resist. And all of the comments and them saying, like, you should write a novel, that feels like some series of unfortunate events story start there, where it's like, not everything always ends happy. Just kidding, not this time. This isn't Lemony Snicket this time. Is that who writes a series of unfortunate events, or is that just the guy in the mind? I don't know. Anyway, back to the post. Okay, on to the actual update. Now, we aren't engaged yet. Yes, we have talked about it in context of how seriously we are taking things. No babies yet either, obviously. So, we are diligent about birth control. I want Mike all to myself for a while. So, the 4th of July visit to his house party was pretty awesome. We were getting to know everyone last time, and I had better expectations of what I was going into. And I've talked with my therapist about the whole play fighting makes me anxious, because in my childhood home, it wasn't playing thing. I don't want them to ever curb how they act to cater me, and instead, I guess I'll consider it immersion therapy. I think Mike mentioned it anyway, because I didn't see much of it this time, though there were some cheerful threats of doom lobbed about, which I didn't mind at all. I don't mind. There were some casual threats of doom lobbed about. I don't know what that meant. His mum is amazing. I'd like to point out, even if she mums so hard, it makes me weepy. So, background info. I have a really common sounding name, spelt really uncommonly. Think Danielle, spelt D-A-N-Y-E-L-L, or Jessica, spelt J-E-S-S-I-K-A-H, because in addition to everything else, my parents decided to be creative when they named me. So, although I do sort of like my name, that meant I was a kid who never saw their name personalised on anything. Mike's family, on the other hand, had like a million kids, and they all got traditional names, so personalised stuff was huge for them. It kept them from fighting over stuff, I guess. One of the things in their house, because they have a pool, is that each kid's adults now has a personalised beach towel that lives at the house. So, we get to their place, it's been a hot drive there, so right after we get in, Mike suggests I go to his room to get changed into a swimsuit so we can have a dip in the pool. I'm thinking, that sounds perfect, right? Some of you may already know where this is going. I get to his room and there is a towel on my bed, in my favourite colour, with my fucking stupid ass spelled name embroidered onto it, and here I am, crying over a goddamn towel whilst he's in the hallway, watching and grinning like he's pranked me or some shit. Turns out it was his mum's idea, and she checked with Mike to make sure it was spelled right, so now I have a towel for when I visit, because apparently I'm welcome. If I sound cranky, it's just because I'm better at self-deprecation than I am at experiencing emotions in a direct way. I am and was a lot like that, but I'm working on it. I really am blown away and touched by how much of these people have welcomed me. Mike has already sort of learned to decode the way I talk and joke, which is nice, but the first time he gently said, that's not humour, that's just putting yourself down, babe. I definitely wanted to go hide under the table. He doesn't let me be mean to myself. That's a good thing partners do, I guess. I wouldn't know. It is. It is a really good thing, and it is something where I have learned that with Eleanor sometimes. We do it to each other sometimes. We say something then go, oh that was a wee bit mean. Tone was maybe off. Is that what you were meaning to yourself? Because don't be like that. And I think she was one of the first people that probably did it to me and actually made me go, yeah I am being really mean to myself right now. Wow, thank you for saying that because I wouldn't have noticed that. Again, yes I am in therapy. I am working on myself. It is not his responsibility to put me back together. It's just something he does naturally. I literally told him one night that I was sorry, I'm kind of broken, and he snorted and said, at least you can walk in the most disgusted voice ever and made me laugh. That is honestly, that's so funny because it's honestly like something I would say but on both sides of the situation I guess, which then makes it not so funny. Oof. Anyway, I digress as it starts in the next paragraph. So the food was once again amazing and I kept my promise to teach his mum how to make my cinnamon bun bread pudding, so I felt like I contributed. Insert Ralph Wiggum, I'm helping meme. I'll do that. I learned to play Yahtzee and as it turns out, I'm very good at it. They do a lot of board game things at night when everybody's staying for the week. These people have a lot of board games and puzzles, a whole damn storage closet of things. They also drink like fucking fish and can't hold it, so I'm learning to pace myself. Mike doesn't drink much when we aren't there, so I'm not worried that it's a red flag. The only red flag that I found was that of a Red Sox pennant in his room. Now I realise I may be talking him up a lot, but he is not perfect. He snores, he has a habit of arguing with people on the TV when they make stupid decisions, he sometimes starts talking about things I don't understand and just goes until he realises he's lost me 15 minutes before and he is fastidiously, that is one word that I fastidiously. Well because it's followed by tidy, I feel like it's like exceptionally, which makes me feel guilty because I have a bad habit to lose. I'm not used to clutter means I can't move through an area, but I'm really trying. I barely spend any time at my own place anymore and we're definitely looking to move in together sooner rather than later. Yeah, so not that much of an update. No one burned themselves on a firework or anything super exciting. I'm just in an ongoing relationship with a great guy who has a great family and things continue to look up for us. We head home tonight and we can spend some alone time on Sunday and hopefully everybody else has a happy and healthy holiday. Edit my extremely unhealthy but delicious cinnamon bacon bun recipe and I'm not going to read it out, but I will put it on the screen if you want to see it. There was a comment that said, please never stop updating us. My family all have these needlepoint Christmas stockings with our names embroidered. When my then boyfriend got his very own as a surprise from my mum, I melted. That beach towel is a big ass deal. They love you and all of us internet strangers do too. And then there was a comment saying, it is lovely to hear a happy story, so glad you and your man are doing well. Are things good with you in your best day? And Opie responded, yes, she is still dealing with all of the bad breakup stuff and not looking to date right now, but she's focusing on herself and it's going well. We did one of those drink wine and paint classes together and she's a lot closer to who I remember her being. Baby steps lol real life doesn't move at reddit pacing. I'm just trying to see if there was any other good ones that I screenshotted. I absolutely adore love stories and I absolutely love the towel. I relate as someone with a dysfunctional family. I am now invited to all of my fianc- my fiance's? I'm getting words all wrong today, jeez oh. I am invited to all my fiance's cousins big events because I'm the one of the cousins now. You found Mike and you found a beautiful unconditional love of a partner, but you also found the love of an entire family. Thank you for sharing your love story. And I feel like that is a good way to end it because I feel like that comment kind of sums up how I felt, like family dynamics and as well as being disabled sometimes, like I definitely used to think when I had the frame on my leg that I was unlovable and that people wouldn't want to be with me because of my scars and my trauma and the things that I came along with, but like I said at the start in that poem, the more I've started to accept myself, I feel like the more people accept me too and that's not to say that there's not some days where I feel really bad and I do feel like I'm unlovable because I'm disabled, but that's not because I think that that thought is a fact. It's just a bad thought on a bad day, but it is something that I still struggle with because reading things like that, it does make me go, oh I wish that something like that could happen, but I'm sober so I'm not going to be in a bar to meet somebody and I keep thinking about like going out and doing more like things that interest me to like go out and meet people and like meet friends, but I'm still just a wee bit scared, but maybe I'll end up getting to that, who knows, but anyway that is where I am going to end it for today. I hope you enjoyed my poem and this little reddit story and I hope you enjoy what is yet to come on the rest of season two of the Kripple Chronicles, so yeah I'm gonna go because I keep messing up my words and even there saying Kripple Chronicles felt hard because my mouth is getting dry because I've been yapping so much, so look after yourselves. There will hopefully be another video in two weeks time back to regular posting hopefully, but yeah love you guys, have a safe week, month, whatever, look after yourselves, but yeah BYE!