Ep. 91 Use These 2 Mindfulness Practices To Instantly Increase Gratitude, Calm & Joy To Ease Stress & Anxiety

Feeling overwhelmed by the fast pace of life? What if you could slow down and instantly create calm, joy, and gratitude in just a few minutes?

 In this episode, MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, reveals two simple mindfulness practices—"Notice on the Outside" and "Notice on the Inside"—that act as mental workouts for your mind. Just as we strengthen our bodies through physical exercise, these practices help strengthen your mental wellness, creating a sense of peace and connection both inside and out.

In this episode you’ll:

1. Learn how to focus your awareness on the present moment through "Notice on the Outside," and why this simple shift can reduce anxiety and increase calm.

2. Discover "Notice on the Inside" and gain insight into your sensations, images, thoughts, and feelings, allowing you to process challenging feelings more effectively.

3. By using these practices, you can begin to cultivate more gratitude, joy, and mental clarity in your daily life.

Listen now to learn how these mindfulness exercises can become a regular part of your routine, bringing you peace, clarity, and a deeper connection to yourself.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

You may know that a physical workout helps strengthen your body, but have you ever tried a mental workout for your mind? Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. Today, I want to share two simple mindfulness practices with you. By the end of this episode, you will have learned both Notice on the Inside and notice on the outside and the roles they play in increasing well as enhancing calm and joy. Finally, you'll discover how to incorporate these practices into your daily life. I think of mindfulness as an inner workout, much like we think of physical workouts for our bodies. But what exactly is an inner workout? It's a practice that cultivates self awareness, calm, and mental wellness by encouraging us to become more attuned to our unique reactions, perceptions, sensations, intuitions, feelings, thoughts, and memories. Just like a physical workout, it can sometimes feel refreshing or sometimes challenging, depending on the situation. The practices I'll teach you today are called Notice on the Outside, And Notice on the Inside,. We all understand physical workouts. We go to the gym, use workout apps, or take walks with friends. Today I want to help you understand the value of an inner workout in cultivating self and relational awareness and a better mental and physical health, which brings all of us more happiness and calm. Inner workouts help us cultivate calm by showing us that we have the power to direct our minds. Many of us reach adulthood believing we have little control over our minds, that our thoughts just happen and we have to deal with them. While that is true to a degree, thoughts come and go, what matters is how we respond to them and what we do with them. Let's start with notice on the outside. This is a simple, sweat free inner workout. For over 20 years, I taught my mental wellness program, Inner Challenge, in a local junior high. Each spring, I introduced Notice on the Outside to the 6th graders. I'd ask them to bring their mental awareness to their feet and notice how their body responded. Typically, they would use the word, grounded. Shifting our focus to our feet brings us to the present and helps us feel more settled. Try it now. Wherever you are, unless you're driving, shift your mental awareness to your feet. Feel the contact that they have on the ground, and then take a couple breaths. What I'd like you to do next is pick an object in your environment to focus on for 30 to 40 seconds while continuing to breathe normally, the students I taught often found that focusing on an object help them feel more present and at peace. Even if it was just a little bit I would often ask them to do Notice on the Outside, the simple act of grounding their feet, choosing an object to focus on, and breathe for 30 or 40 seconds with their full attention on the object, and then write a paragraph or two about this experience. The reflections were often profound. One student chose to focus on his basketball. He wrote that even though he played with it almost every day, he had never really noticed it. the vibrant orange color and the tiny embossed circles on the leather. He noticed it was made in China. And he wondered if kids there were playing with the same kind of ball. His mind then drifted to the memory of his favorite uncle, who had given him the basketball. He wrote, Noticing is kinda neat. I saw things in a new way. My mind flew over to China. And then my heart felt warm remembering my uncle. This simple mindfulness practice teaches us to be more present and open to our senses. It also helps us become aware of how our mind moves and can connect us to feelings of wonder and awe and gratitude, ultimately helping us feel calmer and more peaceful. Notice on the outside develops observation and reflection skills, which are foundational tools for cultivating mental and physical health. Let's move on to the next inner workout, which I call Notice on the Inside,. This exercise is similar to Notice on the Outside. We start by grounding our feet, taking a few breaths until we feel a bit more relaxed, a bit more present, a bit more calm. Then we shift our awareness inward. We ask ourselves to notice. What are my body's sensations? Do I see any images? What am I feeling? What am I thinking? This may sound simple, but in my 38 years as a clinical social worker, I have found that Notice on the Inside can be very challenging for many people. This is understandable. What's going on inside of us can be uncomfortable or even terrifying, so we often distract ourselves. We are taught as young children to pay attention to what is out there. instead of learning how to notice what's going on inside of us. However, this avoidance can get in the way of our wellness. Let me share an example. I had a client who was worried about not getting a promotion. That day in therapy, I noticed that he was talking rapidly. His anxiety was clearly increasing. Knowing that rapid talking doesn't help reduce anxiety, I asked him to stop for a moment and do Notice on the Inside a skill he had already learned. I watched as he grounded his feet. Took some breaths and closed his eyes. After about a minute, he looked at me and he said, I am so afraid. I am not going to get this promotion. I encouraged him to stay with that fear for another 60 to 90 seconds. As he did, I could see his body move from a tense state to one that was more relaxed. His shoulders drooped, his fists unclenched, and he took a long, deep breath. After a couple minutes, he looked up at me and calmly said, This will not be the only time in my life where I have a chance to be promoted. This process demonstrates how Notice on the Inside helps us to understand our mental states. Our minds often start with the negative, which has evolutionary roots. But because the negative is uncomfortable, we distract ourselves by eating, scrolling on the phones, calling a friend, Before we allow ourr mind and our body to move through the entire process. I visualized this process as a bell curve that we often cut off in an attempt to avoid discomfort, missing out on the deeper insights that could arise. Notice on the Inside, doesn't guarantee that my client will get the promotion, but it allowed him to acknowledge his fear and shame, while realizing that this wouldn't be his only opportunity for promotion. I also encourage people to use the SIFT method, an acronym by Dr. Daniel Siegel during Notice on the Inside,. SIFT stands for this, S I F T. Sensations. What am I physically feeling? We often have physical and emotional sensations moving throughout our body that can be very fun or very uncomfortable. I. Images. What images come to mind? Interestingly, some people see images very vividly and very clearly, others seldom see them. What about you? What are you feeling? What emotions are you experiencing? Many people notice their emotional reactions first. And lastly, thoughts. What are you thinking? Often, it's fairly easy for people to get connected to their thoughts. Most of us are quite familiar with what we think and feel, but we're often disconnected from our bodily sensations and the images that surface in our mind. By opening our awareness to these aspects, we gain fascinating and invaluable insights into ourselves. Notice on the Outside, and notice on the Inside are two inner workouts that are cornerstones of Cultivating Mental Wellness and Calm. and relational reflection, which often leads to greater awareness. They help us observe both our inner and outer lives more keenly, allowing us to create a more authentic and resilient life story. In today's world, full of distractions from devices, these inner workouts help us become more mindful and intentional about connecting with ourselves. This is not something that will happen on its own. We need to make a conscious and intentional decision to practice these exercises. That leads me to the question, how and when do we practice these inner workouts? Notice on the outside is something you can do throughout your day, perhaps one to three times. Choose an object you interact with regularly. I use my steering wheel, some of my clients use their coffee cups or water bottles. When I put my hand on the steering wheel, I ground my feet, I focus on something in front of me, and I take a few breaths. This simple practice brings me back to the present moment. It helps me regulate my central nervous system, and it also helps me direct my attention to what I'm doing, not what I'm thinking or feeling. Notice on the Inside, is particularly helpful during emotionally intense experiences. All you need to do is ground your feet, turn your awareness inward, and sift through what you're experiencing. Doing this helps you process your emotions effectively, helping you move from reacting to reflecting. So your actions and behaviors are grounded in your values. In this episode, I've introduced you to two easy, simple mindfulness exercises. Notice on the Outside, which helps you move your mind to the present and Notice on the Inside,, which helps you understand your reactions to life events and increases your awareness as you observe and process your sensations, images. Thoughts, and feelings. These inner workouts are tools that help you create calm and increase your mental and physical wellness. Here are my Inner Challenge insights. Insight number one. When life gets a bit turbulent, try and Notice on the Inside a couple minutes before you shoot off a text or phone a friend. Ground your feet. Turn your attention inward and allow yourself to move through your reaction using breath work to calm yourself. You might be surprised how 90 seconds can help your mind calm down, giving you a bit more calm and a lot more clarity. A little bit of mindfulness goes a long way. Insight number two. It's a busy, colorful, and fast paced world. Slowing down and noticing often leads us to want a bit more understanding. You may find yourself naturally being led to further exploration, such as journaling, taking a walk, or having a meaningful conversation with a friend. All of these can increase your curiosity, which can deepen your connection and understanding. Insight number three. Our minds are meant to be peaceful and calm, or are they? I'll be back on Thursday for my Inner Challenge follow up to explore this foundational belief of mindfulness. But in the meantime, Go ahead and notice. This is your Inner Challenge.