Ep. 92 Proving Your Mind is Meant to be Peaceful, Calm & Happy With No Stress or Anxiety

Do you believe your mind is naturally peaceful, or are you convinced it’s always meant to be stressed and busy? What if you could tap into your mind’s natural state of calm and happiness?

 In this episode of Creating Midlife Calm, MJ dives into the truth about our mind's natural state. If you often feel overwhelmed by stress or anxiety and are searching for a way to feel more grounded and present with your family, while also boosting your focus at work, this episode is for you. Discover how your brain is actually wired for calm, and learn practical ways to reconnect with that peaceful state, even when life feels chaotic.

By tuning in, you’ll learn:

1. How neuroscience proves that your brain is naturally inclined toward peace, calm, and happiness.

2. Why mindfulness practices can help reduce stress and help you feel more centered, no matter what’s going on around you.

3. How ancient wisdom and modern science both agree that cultivating inner peace is not only possible but essential to living a fulfilling life.

If you're ready to unlock the calm and happiness your brain is wired for, press play and join us in this empowering journey today!

Check out Ep. 91 Use These Two Mindfulness Practices To Instantly Increase Gratitude, Calm & Joy. 

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

Our minds are meant to be peaceful and calm. Or are they? Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. Today is Thursday where I follow up on my inner challenge from Monday's episode where I encouraged you to try one of the two mindfulness exercises that I taught. Notice on the inside or notice on the outside. I ask you to pay attention to see if you believe if it's possible for you to have a calm and peaceful mind. In my clinical work, there's a common assumption that most of my clients hold, matter their age or presenting issue, that the natural state of the mind is busy, stressed, and preoccupied. Of course, their goal is to reduce that stress. Today, we're diving into the truth about our mind's natural state, and I think you'll find today's information both surprising, encouraging, and most importantly, empowering. By the end of this episode, you will have learned the mind's natural state is one of peacefulness, calm, and happiness, and we now have the science to prove it. Our brains are wired for positivity, and from the beginning of time, cultures and philosophies have leaned into the mind's natural state to promote wellness and connection. Understanding the mind's natural state empowers us to cultivate practices that bring calm and joy into our lives. Practicing mindfulness can help us with one of the biggest obstacles to feeling peaceful and calm, and that is the belief that if you can get everything outside of your mind to go as you want it to, your mind will be at peace. Once you hear me say this, you realize how impossible that is. But that is often what many of us try to do. So if you want to calm mind, I encourage you to learn how to calm your mind, no matter what happens. If you're like most people, when you hear someone say that the mind's natural state is one of peace, calm, and happiness, you might roll your eyes and think, you're not in my head, or hey, I'm not a Buddhist monk. Both of those things are probably true, but I invite you to put your disbelief aside for a moment and listen to this podcast. Trust me, I thought the exact same thing at once. including eye rolls, but being open minded will do more for your mental state than anything else. Let's start by considering the idea that the mind is naturally inclined towards peace and happiness. Think about those moments when you feel at ease or genuinely happy. These moments often happen effortlessly. Like when you're absorbed in a beautiful sunset, or lost in the laughter of loved ones or, if you're a baby lover, holding a baby can make your mind relax and your whole body feel at peace and ease. It's as though the mind knows how to find its way to peace and joy without us even trying. This suggests that beneath all the noise and chaos of daily life, our mind has a natural capacity for calm and happiness. Now let's look at some scientific evidence that supports this idea. Research in psychology and neuroscience shows that our brains are actually wired for positive states. For instance, The brain's default mode network, also known as the DMN, is active when we're at rest, not focused on the outside world. Think of it as the brain being on idle mode. When the DMN is overactive, it leads to overthinking. Studies have shown that mindfulness practices can calm down the DMN, allowing us to return to a state of calm and presence. Additionally, brain scans reveal that regions associated with positive emotions, such as the prefrontal cortex, become more active. when we experience happiness and well being. This proves that our brains have a natural capacity for these positive states. Once you understand that your brain has the capacity to be peaceful and calm,

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You're empowered to cultivate it.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 4:33

all you have to do is cultivate it. Now let's look at this idea of our brains being peaceful and calm through the lens of history. Throughout time, various cultures and philosophies have recognized the mind's natural state. Spiritual traditions emphasize inner peace and happiness as fundamental aspects of the human experience. For example, ancient philosophies like Buddhism teach that our true nature is peaceful and suffering arises when we forget this truth. According to Buddhist teachings, our peace is often disruptive when we become too attached to outcomes, resist the challenges of life, or engage in excessive self focus, prioritizing our own happiness over that of others. Let me share with you a fascinating conversation I had years ago with a Buddhist monk. He spent a week in a psychiatric hospital with a 16 year old who was depressed and anxious because he had grown too tall to fulfill his childhood dream of becoming a race car driver. The monk had never seen anxiety or depression in someone so young. In his country, such conditions typically only occur after 80. I explained to him that here in the West, we imagine great things for our lives from childhood on, these dreams don't come true, It can feel crushing. The monk was perplexed. Desperate to explain further, I said to him, you love this piece of cake, right? We were eating lunch together. And when you return home, you might want more of this cake. So you might email me for the recipe. At that moment, his look of confusion deepened. He replied, when I return home, I won't want this cake. Because I know I cannot have it, I laughed, realizing for the first time the power of accepting what is, not in a hopeless or resigned way. but a practical and freeing way. Similarly, many indigenous cultures understand that living in harmony with nature and with each other brings about a natural state of wellbeing. These cultures emphasize cooperation. over competition, fostering a natural state of tranquility and joy. It's only through our disconnection from this harmony that we experience stress and turmoil. So how do you reconnect with this natural state of calm, peace, and happiness? Most of us need to step onto this path with some doubts about whether the mind's natural state is truly peaceful, calm, and happy. You don't have to be a full blown believer to start practicing mindfulness. In fact, most people feel awkward and self conscious when they begin. This is because in our culture, mindfulness isn't deeply embedded in our daily lives, so we haven't practiced it much. What we do practice often is allowing our minds to be constantly distracted by modern life. But if you want more peace and calm, mindfulness practice is the key. Notice the word practice. Just like learning any skill, becoming better at calming the mind takes consistent effort. That's why I usually recommend starting with the two mindfulness practices I featured in Episode 91, Notice on the Outside and Notice on the Inside. Give them a try. It's often surprising how fun and relieving it can be to discover that we have more control over our focus than we thought. Grounding yourself and watching the water fill a bottle during notice on the outside increase your calm. When you have an intense reaction, practice notice on the inside, grounding yourself and taking a few breaths can help your mind shift from rattled to calmer and clearer. By practicing mindfulness, you'll become aware of your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. As one of my clients put it, I am no longer my thoughts and feelings. They're like balloons with strings. And most of the time I get to choose. Which ones to hold on to? Mindfulness helps us reduce stress and return to the calm, centered state that is our mind's natural baseline. In a future episode, I'll explore meditation, another amazing practice that can remind us that beneath all the mental chatter, there's always a place of calm and joy we can access. Today, we explored the idea that your mind's natural state is one of peace, calm, and happiness. We looked at scientific research showing that your brain is wired for positive states and considered cultural perspectives emphasizing inner peace. We also discussed how mindfulness practices can help us reconnect with this natural state. One of the biggest challenges is simply remembering to practice mindfulness. Use post it notes, set reminders on your calendar, or build mindfulness into an already established part of your daily routine. Thank you for listening, and I invite you to step onto the path of creating a calmer, more peaceful, and happier mind. I'll be back on Monday with another episode of Creating Midlife Calm.