Ep. 103 Using Gratitude & Fun To Ease Midlife Anxiety & Stress To Create Calm This Thanksgiving

Are you tired of feeling stressed and overwhelmed by holiday planning and want a Thanksgiving that leaves you feeling calm, happy, and truly grateful?

Are your holidays  more of a burden than a joy. With endless lists and expectations, it’s easy to lose sight of why you celebrate in the first place. This episode dives into three simple “ingredients” you can add to your holiday plans that will transform how your experience Thanksgiving—making it fulfilling instead of exhausting.

 In this episode you’ll:

1. Discover how choosing happiness, calm, and gratitude can reshape your holiday experience from pressure-filled to peaceful.

2. Learn practical ways to simplify your Thanksgiving prep without sacrificing the joy or tradition you cherish.

3. Find permission to let go of unnecessary tasks and embrace a holiday that nurtures your well-being and connection with loved ones.

Push play to  learn three powerful steps to reclaim joy and calm in your holiday planning and make this Thanksgiving one you truly enjoy.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

In this episode, you'll learn how gratitude and fun can ease your anxiety this holiday season. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. It's Monday and we are diving into a specific midlife stressor exploring practical tools for managing your anxiety. Yes, you read the title right. Thanksgiving can actually help you reduce anxiety and bring more calm into your life. By the end of this episode, you'll understand how practicing gratitude changes your brain, making you feel happier and more at ease. I'll also share three simple, quick gratitude exercises to help you talk turkey to your holiday stress. And as always, I'll wrap up with an inner challenge that you can use today to create calm, even during this busy season. If you're like me, you're walking through the stores and there's Christmas songs and holiday decor everywhere. But I encourage you to lean into the unique benefits of Thanksgiving, which go beyond food. It's well known that giving thanks is good for you, but the science behind it is fascinating. Gratitude boosts dopamine and serotonin, your brain's feel good chemicals, making you happier, happier. and more resilient to stress. This time of year, that is especially helpful. In a way, gratitude is an antidote to anxiety. However, your brain might be used to worrying. This could mean that you focus on what's wrong and what's missing, like noticing those lumpy mashed potatoes or that over browned pie crust. But to cultivate gratitude this Thanksgiving, you can use the power of intention to shift your perspective. Think of it as moving your focus from stress to bless. Gratitude is about noticing What's right and appreciating what's good. Let's dive into three fun and practical gratitude exercises that you can try. I have done these myself and with many of my clients over the years and I think you're going to really enjoy them. Number one, you can create a gratitude board. Well, not really a board, just slap up a piece of paper. One year I used the back of wrapping paper. Whatever you find, hang it in a spot, and put some markers and pens nearby. Of course, if you have little kids, you know the drill. At the top of the paper, write, I am thankful for dot, dot, dot. Each family member adds their own notes, sometimes more frequently in grade school, and less so during their teenage years. When my kids were teenagers, they weren't so much into it, though I have to admit, my husband and I kept jotting things down like, I'm grateful for a dog or I love the school where. I one day, my junior high daughter said, You know, we should keep this up all year. Just looking at it makes me feel better. I laughed out loud because I really wasn't quite sure it was the voice of a kid who felt better, but she was right. This simple practice can shift your brain's focus from negative to positive. And when you do that, your actually bathing your brain in these feel good chemicals. Some people find keeping a gratitude journal very fulfilling. Every night before they go to bed, they write five things down or when they do their morning pages, they write Three things they're grateful for. And that is beautiful. But if you're a person that feels like, that's a little bit too big of a commitment, this next gratitude activity is just for you: express thanks throughout your day. During the Month of November, focus on saying thank you to the people who help you. The barista, the cashier, or even a family member who lends a hand. Start in the morning by thanking your partner for letting you shower first, your children for getting ready for school without drama, or a coworker who brought you coffee. Take it a step further by making these moments specific. Hey, thanks for eating without complaining. It made me so happy. When you put on the lens of gratitude, you start noticing the small acts of kindness around us. We help our brain that likes to lean into the negative, slowly embrace and be more open to that which is positive, and that reduces anxiety. It also builds the habit of noticing the positive. Gratitude practice number three, thank yourself. Turn the lens of gratitude on yourself for a day, a week or a month. Or for the rest of your life. Notice all the tasks you complete. And as you finish each one, say, thank you for making coffee. Thank you for being a chauffeur as you drop your child off at school. When you finish a work project, say, thank you for your hard work. You are such a good employee. I've actually done this for years and it always makes me smile. It also stopped me from that sad song I was singing inside: no one thanks me. There's something really powerful about being acknowledged for the things you do, at the end of the day, you'll realize how much you've accomplished and you'll have given yourself a boost. The other part that I really love about this third practice is that so often these everyday tasks seem mundane, but adding a touch of gratitude can help them feel a bit lighter. You'll start to feel a little bit less burdened and more grateful. If you have a mind that tends to worry or overthink, I encourage you to listen to episodes 85 and 86 for extra support this holiday season. In this episode, we've explored the science of gratitude and how it can help you feel better and foster stronger social connections. Just watch what happens when you thank someone sincerely for that little thing they do for you. You can see that their spirit rises. All of these gratitude practices reduce anxiety. So take control and set an intention this month to focus on gratitude and don't forget to use my favorite trick. Place sticky notes in key places to remind yourself to thank those who help you and to thank yourself too. For this week's Inner Challenge, choose one of the gratitude practices from today's episode and commit to it. Whether you're noticing small acts of kindness or practicing self gratitude, let this Thanksgiving season be a time to marinate your mind in gratitude. And watch the calm grow. Thanks for listening. I'll be back on Thursday to follow up on this week's Inner Challenge and share a simple family recipe that will reduce holiday stress, especially the stress you put on yourself.