Ep. 107 Midlife Coping Skills for Anticipatory Anxiety & Stress Post Election

Does the aftermath of the election leave you feeling stuck in a cycle of worry and dread--especially as you head into the holiday? You're not alone.  

 In this episode  you will learn how the uncertainties of our current political climate trigger anticipatory anxiety—a mental loop of fear about the future—as well as practical strategies to regain control of your mind.  

 You’ll discover:

1. How to recognize and interrupt the cycle of anxious thoughts before they spiral out of control.  

2. Use grounding, breathwork, and mindfulness to calm your nervous system in real-time.  

3. Foster hope and calm by embracing creativity, mindfulness, and small acts of kindness.  

 Ready to move past election-induced stress and rediscover peace of mind? Listen now and equip yourself with tools to cultivate calm today.

****

About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

In this episode, you'll learn how to decrease your anxiety connected to the election results. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. Remember how you looked forward to the election being over thinking it would bring relief. Instead, you find your mind cycling through feelings of worry, dread, or even panic. Whether you're Republican, democrat or independent president-elect Trump's unconventional approach to transition and governance might heighten feelings of unpredictability. This makes anticipatory anxiety not only understandable, but to be expected. In today's episode, I'll define anticipatory anxiety, explore its symptoms, and most importantly, provide you with practical and effective coping skills to help you manage it. As always, at the end of the episode, I'll give you an inner challenge, a simple exercise that you can use today to bring calm to your mind. What is anticipatory anxiety? Anticipatory anxiety arises when your thoughts drift to the future. Filling you with fear and uncertainty about potential outcomes. You know what I mean, those stories of catastrophic endings, of all the worst possible case scenarios of what could happen in a particular situation. In today's polarized post election climate, you might find yourself worrying about financial stability, the future for your children and your grandchildren, or the country's overall stability. Even if you've reduced your news consumption, these concerns can linger. One of my clients described going on a total news fast, yet she still heard updates from casual conversations at the grocery store, at work or during daycare drop offs. So let me share with you a few tips to help you in these uncertain times. Coping skill number one, Notice the anxiety. I realize that sounds counterintuitive because when we feel anxious, we're uncomfortable, we're distressed, and we just want to get away from it. But part of managing anticipatory anxiety actually begins with awareness. You may be driving and suddenly your mind starts worrying about the values of inclusivity, your children's future, or housing affordability. In an instant, a single anxious thought transforms into a spiraling story of doom. The first step is to notice when this happens. Pay attention to the moment your thoughts shift from the present You driving your car, looking at the road to an anxious narrative. Awareness is the foundation for managing anticipatory anxiety. Understand that when you're anxious, your thinking brain leans towards worst case scenario and your role is to slow down your thoughts and not let them escalate. How do you do that? Well, as I said, start with self awareness and once you notice that internal narrative that is scaring you. Go to coping skill number two, grounding and breathing. I know you've heard me talk about grounding and breathing before. It feels so therapist y, but it actually is what we need to do if we want to successfully reduce anticipatory anxiety. Move your mind from the narrative that's scaring you to your feet and begin to take some breaths. I hope that you are developing in your toolkit, whatever breath work works for you, but it always can begin with moving your mind from anxiety to your feet: the foundation of who you are. And then just follow your breath. You can take four breaths in and slowly exhale for eight, or you can move your attention to your breath and really feel the sensation of your normal breathing pattern going in and out of your nose. These practices calm your nervous system, they promote relaxation, and most importantly, they will disrupt the anxious story that your mind is crafting. And the best part about them? They're free. You can do them anywhere, at any time. After you've implemented these, what you'll notice is that your body feels a little bit calmer, a little bit more relaxed. Again, we're not going for perfection. Don't ask too much of yourself. If your anxieties at a seven or eight. Getting it down to a three or four is a big win and it's good enough, but keep breathing until you notice mental clarity happening in your mind. And that's when you move to coping skill number three, and this is the good news, bad news coping skill. The bad news is you cannot control the government, but the good news is, you can control your mind. Instead of worrying about what might happen, I want to encourage you to shift your energy to the here and now. Practice mindfulness as you do everyday tasks like loading the dishwasher, cooking a meal, or driving your child to school. If you're watching a show, wrap yourself up in a soft and comfy blanket. Feel your butt on the couch. Notice the technicolor of the show you're watching. Engaging three or more senses as you do the tasks of daily life is an incredibly good antidote to preventing you from creating those scary stories. I encourage you to challenge yourself. Instead of waiting in the car for your child to come out from practice, take a brisk walk and engage as many of the senses as you can in that four or five minutes. Being present interrupts anxiety and increases your awareness of the simple joys of the day. You might need to do this 20 times a day if you really want to live in the moment and reduce anticipatory anxiety. But trust me, this effort will reward you with increased calm and connection to all that is around you. The last coping skill that I want to share with you is to have the courage to create beauty. Anxiety can feel overwhelming. It can often feel paralyzing. It takes courage to be able to move through anticipatory anxiety. The best definition I've ever heard of courage is you're afraid, but you do it anyways. One of the beautiful coping skills that I have seen many of my clients do when they have anticipatory anxiety is to choose beauty. What do I mean by that? You can choose beauty by walking in the woods, but you can also choose beauty by coloring, or in this holiday season, choosing one or two traditions to Engage with and absorb yourself in to make whatever it is, the tree, cookies, a cake, as beautiful as possible. One of my favorite post election stories this year was a woman who shared with me how three nights after the election, this woman took an oil painting class. She doubted her abilities, but ended up creating a beautiful piece, a lemon on a pink background. The whole process brought her pride and joy this opening of making beauty allowed her to feel a little bit of hope. Find your own way to create beauty. I am not encouraging you to overwhelm yourself with expectations. In fact, quite the opposite. Turn inward and just ask yourself, what seems fun? What might bring me a little peace? What might bring me a little calm? And then push yourself a bit. to go ahead and do it. Creative activities will engage your entire brain and this will help counteract the part that fuels anxiety. My final coping skill is inspired by Mr. Rogers. In one episode, Mr. Rogers advised a young child who was feeling worried to look for the helpers. A negative consequence of anxiety that is often overlooked is how it can make you overly focus on yourself and your situation. Anticipatory anxiety is particularly challenging because it involves worrying about events that haven't even happened yet. To counter this move through your day, looking for small opportunities to help open doors, pick up, drop keys, or assist a child on the slide. These small acts of kindness provide dopamine boosts which help to reduce anxiety. In a time of such division perhaps these acts of kindness can also play a role in healing. In this episode, we explored how anticipatory anxiety is a normal reaction to uncertainty, especially in this post election season. I encouraged you to notice when your mind begins to feel anxious, to use grounding and breathing to calm your nervous system, to focus on the present through mindful awareness of daily tasks, and harness the courage to create beauty, which promotes hope Look for opportunities to be a helper and do small acts of kindness. This week's Inner Challenge is to choose one of these coping skills and put it into practice. Commit to being present and creating calm in your life. I'll be back on Thursday to share coping skills for managing interactions with loved ones who are also experiencing anticipatory anxiety, because as you probably know, that becomes contagious. Thanks for listening.