Ep. 110 Turn Holiday Shopping Into a Midlife Meditation & Coping Skill to Ease Stress & Anxiety

Are you someone who loves shopping but struggles with anxiety, especially during the holidays? What if you could turn shopping into “shopitation”,  a mindfulness practice that actually helps decrease your anxiety and increase your calm?  .

 In this  episode you’ll discover:  

 1. The definition and  science behind “shopitation” and  why shopping calms your anxiety. 

2. How shopping can serve as a tool for mindfulness, offering emotional relief without spending a dime.  

3. Avoid common mistakes like impulse buying and using shopping as an avoidance tool.

 Tune in to today’s episode and discover  the mindfulness practice of “shopitation.”Start practicing today and increase your calm. 

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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In this episode, you'll discover how you can turn shopping into a meditation that calms your anxiety. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. Today is Thursday, and I'm following up on Monday's Inner Challenge, which focused on ways to reduce anxiety around shopping. By looking at your anxiety through a scientific lens, you can shift it from crippling to calm this holiday season. If you haven't listened to Monday's episode, I encourage you to do so. Small tweaks can make a big difference. Today, we're going to explore the other end of the shopping spectrum, where people experience calm rather than anxiety. I call it shopitation. Yes, you can meditate at your favorite store. In this episode, I'll define what shopitation is, explain the science why shopping can be calming, and share tips on how to enhance this practice as well as potential pitfalls to avoid. Do you hate meditation? Do you roll your eyes when people like me list its benefits only to feel that it increases your anxiety instead? Or maybe you're someone who loves to shop and enjoys the idea of getting two benefits out of one experience. One of the great things about having been part of 48,000 hours of therapy sessions is that I've learned that what works for many does not work for all. Many years ago, I was working with a woman who had severe anxiety. She had already tried the lifestyle hacks I recommended. Cutting out caffeine, increasing exercise, getting more sleep, and managing her phone use. Then we moved on to meditation. The day after her appointment, she called me for an emergency session. She had tried meditation and had a panic attack. She shared that she had tried meditation before, once in a high school health class and again on a wellness retreat. Each time her anxiety spiked. She hoped that maybe now that she was older, meditation would work better for her. So after admitting that my suggestion had backfired, I asked her if she had any ideas. She hesitated, and then with some embarrassment, she said, Well, I go shopping. She explained that when her anxiety peaks, she often walks around stores. She doesn't take her purse, and she has no intention of spending money. She just strolls through Target, the mall, or her favorite boutiques for 15 to 20 minutes, and her anxiety diminishes. To be honest, I was shocked, but intrigued. I jokingly said to her, you have invented shopitation. Instead of focusing inward where her anxiety would worsen, she had brilliantly shifted her focus outward with excellent results. I decided to do some research and here is what I discovered. Shopping can be calming because stores provide a controlled sensory environment. Think about it. The lighting, the music, the scents, all of that helps soothe your central nervous system. These sensory cues can also help redirect your mind from anxious thoughts. Shopping is mindfulness in action. The act of browsing and focusing on specific items, like sweaters or placemats, helps you stay present, which is exactly what meditation aims to achieve. This Mindfulness reduces rumination. They don't really call it retail therapy for nothing. Shopping activates your brain's reward system, releasing dopamine, which contributes to feelings of pleasure and calm. and simply looking at new merchandise in stores provides a gentle emotional boost. Maybe you have sincerely tried meditation a few times and it made your anxiety worse. There is nothing wrong with you. The whole point of this podcast is to help you find what works for you. And if meditation doesn't work, try shopitation. I've worked with many clients over the years who found that the movement and external focus of shopping calmed them much more effectively than the stillness and introspection of meditation. You might also find that shopitation fits better with your lifestyle. Perhaps you can easily imagine yourself engaging in shopitation during lunch hour, but not meditating. Another benefit of shopitation is it involves social interaction, which can be very calming. You can use shopitation as a mindful practice that is to be enjoyed, not rushed. As you move through the store, listen to the music. feel the merchandise. Ground yourself by occasionally bringing your awareness to your feet. Take in the beauty of the merchandise and notice the smells around you. Let it be a true sensory experience that costs nothing but a little time and attention. Be mindful when you're choosing a store. Pick one that you know will bring you calm. Definitely not Costco on a Sunday. I invite you to create a mindset that sees shopitation as a tool for relaxation. Perhaps you've been shopitating all these years without realizing it. If so, keep it up. But it's also important to know the pitfalls of shopitation. So it stays as a useful tool in your toolkit. One of the common pitfalls of shopitation is it can easily morph into avoidance if you are not clear about its purpose.. Set an intention and a time limit. Of course, the biggest pitfall of shopitation is impulse buying. Be clear from the start if you're allowed to make purchases. You don't want the calm you found to be undone by the guilt and stress of impulse buying. One of my clients who uses both traditional meditation and shopitation Said,

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she'd never bring her credit card to the chair where she meditates. So why bring it to the store for her 20 minute shopitation session during her lunch hour? It's also important to set a time limit so your shopitation doesn't turn into avoidance. Of course, if shopping triggers your anxiety, check out episode 108, or if you suffer from compulsive shopping, seek professional help. But if you find yourself feeling eerily calm when you browse through the stores or even online, then go for it. But make sure you set intention and time limit. In this episode, I introduced you to shopitation, a calming practice that can help reduce anxiety. Shopitation soothes your nervous system by surrounding you with sensory engagement. The external focus helps move your mind from worry and rumination to mindfulness in the present moment. And it gives you those nice hits of dopamine system gets activated. We are living in anxious times. I want you to have as many tools as possible to bring calm into your midlife. I encourage you to try shopitation, choose your favorite store, leave your credit cards at home, set a time limit, and browse while practicing the tips I shared. Thanks for listening. I'll be back on Monday with more Creating Midlife Calm. Happy shopping. Namaste.