Ep. 117 5 Proven Hacks to Achieve Midlife Weight Loss & Stop Feeling Stuck

Is weight loss your New Year’s Resolution? This episode gives you 5 Proven Hacks to help you stop feeling stuck and finally see real results.

In this episode you’ll discover: 

1. How to shift from "needing" to "wanting" to lose weight and why this mindset change is crucial.
2. Why setting realistic, manageable goals makes all the difference in long-term success.
3. Find out how to enjoy your favorite foods while creating a sustainable food plan.

Start your journey to a healthier, happier you by tuning in to this transformative episode now!

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (3) 0:00

In this episode, you'll learn five hacks that will make you successful in losing weight this year. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Happy New Year! And welcome to the podcast. The number one New Year's resolution is the desire to lose weight. Over the past 38 years, many of my clients have come to me with this goal. In this episode, I'm going to share with you five hacks that will guarantee you will lose weight this year. Some of these are mindset shifts, while others are actionable steps that have worked for many of my clients. Let's get started. Hack number one, you don't need to lose weight. That's right, you don't need to lose weight. It doesn't matter what your doctor, your friends, your spouse, or your personal trainer says. It's your body and you have the freedom to weigh whatever you want. But here's the thing, if you want to lose weight, that's a different story and that is a different mindset. Needing to lose weight puts you in a defensive, pressured mode, but wanting to lose weight opens you up to new possibilities. So, ask yourself, why do you want to lose weight? Maybe it's to feel better, fit into a smaller size, pick up your grandchild with ease, or look amazing at your college reunion. These are all valid motivations. I've seen many of my clients use these as grounding reasons to stay focused. a grounding reason is something that you come back to again and again and again. It keeps you on track. It's your deepest desire. So, honor it. In fact, I want you to honor it, and I want you to use the coping skill of running a mental movie. That's right. I want you to picture yourself walking into that college reunion, looking fabulous, lifting your grandchild with ease, or fitting into those jeans from two years ago. Yes, it can feel scary to visualize success, but I have rarely seen someone lose weight who couldn't imagine themselves achieving it. If you want to lose weight, one thing you must do is run that movie in your head of you being successful. It is fine if the first time you begin to do that, it freaks you out and you say, I can't, I can't. Oh, but you can. We run movies in our head all the time. Why not run a movie in your head of something you deeply want, you deeply desire, and then I encourage you every time you take a shower, run that movie in your head again, So on a daily basis, you are reconnecting to your deepest desire What happens when you do this is you go from I can't do this to maybe I can't do this to I really want to do this because you are familiarizing your inside mental map with this desire that you have decided you deeply want. Hack number two. Set a realistic and achievable goal. Oh, doesn't that sound so easy? Well, let's be honest. Most people, when they set off on a weight loss journey, are a bit delusional. Choose a weight loss goal that's successful, not delusional. For example, aim to lose 10 pounds in two months, not 100 pounds in six months. Even with weight loss medications, a goal of 100 pounds in six months is not realistic. If you choose a manageable goal, two things will happen. First, you will test your commitment. If you find yourself saying, well, if I can't lose a hundred pounds, I don't want to lose ten, then you don't really want to lose a hundred pounds. But if you find yourself saying, Ooh, if I can lose 10, then that's actually a step toward my bigger goal. You will find it not only more motivating, but it will be another way for you to deepen connection to this is what I really want to do. Aim for a goal that feels doable. not delusional. And if you can't set that smaller goal, maybe weight loss isn't really what you want. And that is totally okay. Remember, you don't have to lose weight. If you don't truly want to. Hack number three, choose the one or two things that you love to eat that, you are not willing to give up. In my office, the top things people are not willing to stop eating are lattes, chocolate, ice cream, and chips. I have never seen anyone lose weight and keep it off if they deprive themselves of those things that they love. Again, this is a weight loss journey rooted in want, not have to. Now, if you can't imagine giving up carrots or broccoli, that's fine too, but you are probably not on a weight loss journey. The goal is to create a food plan that helps you lose weight, but also allows you to keep enjoying the things that you love long term. It's heartbreaking when people follow an extreme diet, lose weight, but then gain it all back. One of your challenges is to choose a way of eating that you think you can grow into and enjoy. There are many successful plans, Noom, Weight Watchers, Keto, Paleo, or even something as simple as the White Plate Food Plan. Listen to episode 85, where my guest shares his journey of losing a hundred pounds with a simple white plate method. His story is a beautiful example of how a normal person grounded his weight loss in what he wanted. He learned a little bit about healthy eating and he trusted himself to do it his way. Once you've chosen your food plan, then you can figure out how your one or two favorite foods can fit in. Perhaps you have to give them up for 30 days because some food plans don't let you have dairy or things like that. But you're going for the long term, not necessarily the short term. Which actually leads us to hack number four. Choose your suffering. Now or later? Now that you've decided you want to lose weight, you found your food plan, and you figured out how to enjoy your favorite food, here's the next big choice. Do you want to suffer now or later? Food is pleasurable. It's yummy. It's social. It can even numb our feelings. But to lose weight, you will sometimes have to say no. And when we have to say no, we suffer. And yes, it will feel like suffering in the moment. You'll have to skip the two beers, the burger and the fries, and instead order chicken and salad. So you can avoid suffering later. This was a game changer for me. Taught by one of the most practical and successful weight loss coaches I know, Julie Hamilton. You can hear her full interview in episode 61 where she shares specific actionable tips she learned over her long career of helping people lose weight. Julie's wisdom, either way you are going to suffer. But you get to choose your suffering. And it's not a one time decision. You'll have to make this choice repeatedly. One of my clients who's lost 50 pounds told me the holidays were great. I had a little bit of my favorite things, but I didn't overeat for the sake of eating. Then she added with a chuckle, I think this is the first time since birth I did not gain weight over the holidays. You'll have to choose your pain, but the good news is the choice is yours. Hack number five, exercise does not help you lose weight. You heard me. Exercise alone doesn't help you lose weight. This is so 1970s and we're in 2025. The science is clear. You lose weight by changing what and how you eat, not by exercising more. Exercise is great for health, strength, and energy, but to lose weight, you need to focus on your food choices. Refer back to hack number three. It's about finding an eating plan that works for you. In this episode, I have shared with you five hacks that will guarantee weight loss in this new year. Hack number one, decide if you really want to lose weight. Don't set yourself up for failure if this just isn't the right time for you. Hack number two, set a realistic, achievable goal. Hack number three, own those one or two things that you are not willing to give up eating. Hack number four, choose your suffering, now or later. And hack five, update your science. Weight loss comes from what you put in your mouth, not how far you go on the treadmill. Your inner challenge for this week is to take a moment and reflect on these hacks and see if you are in the right place to lose weight at this time in your life. If you're not. That's perfectly fine. But you might discover that this is the right time, and you're ready to take action. One thing is for sure. Your journey will have obstacles, and your hacks will fail. We'll get hacked, but don't worry. I'll be back on Thursday to share coping skills for overcoming the common challenges you'll face when trying to lose weight. Thanks for listening and I'll be back on Thursday with more Creating Midlife Calm.