Ep. 124 3 Science-Backed Coping Skills to Overcome Exercise Challenges in Midlife to Reduce Stress & Anxiety

Struggling to stay consistent with your exercise goals?
What if you could conquer the three biggest obstacles that hold you back?

In this episode you’ll discover:

1. How to face the "I don't want to exercise" mindset with practical tools to stay committed.

2. Why patience, not quick results, leads to long-term success

3. How to distinguish between genuine rest and excuses, so you can build consistency without risking burnout.

Hit play to unlock proven strategies for tackling your fitness obstacles and setting yourself up for less anxiety and a calmer 2025!!

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover science based coping skills to tackle the top three obstacles that sabotage your goal of exercising more in this new year. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. It's Thursday and I'm here to follow up on this week's Inner Challenge, scheduling at least 10 minutes of exercise into your calendar and making it non negotiable. How'd you do? Maybe you're listening to this episode while you're taking a walk, feeling quite proud of yourself, or maybe you're frustrated because you hit this news button this morning and you never made it to the gym. No matter where you are in your journey, Today's episode will be of help. As I said in Monday's episode, exercise is incredibly beneficial for both your physical and mental health. I want to help you find your way to be successful. That means anticipating the obstacles that might sidetrack you and having a plan to overcome them. In this episode, we'll explore the top three challenges that sabotage workout success and how to overcome them with science based strategies. So let's get started. Obstacle number one, I don't want to exercise. You're right, the biggest obstacle to exercise is simply not wanting to do it. If you wanted to exercise, it wouldn't need to be a New Year's resolution, right? Take a moment to reflect. What motivated you to make this goal in the first place? Was it poor sleep, clothes that didn't fit, troubling blood work, taking care of an aging parent? Maybe it was a friend who inspires you with their commitment to exercise. In that moment of motivation, you likely experienced a burst of dopamine, the brain's reward chemical that fueled your decision. Maybe you even bought a gym membership for a little bit of extra accountability. But here's the truth, that motivation will fade and you're going to face the inevitable, I don't want to do this. So what's the solution? Face the resistance head on. When you catch yourself thinking, I don't want to exercise. Say it out loud. Yes, go ahead and shout it from the mountaintops. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to exercise. Please, please, please don't make me exercise. then take a deep breath, step into your adult self, and remind yourself, I can do things I don't want to do. Think about it. You already do this in other areas of your life. You pay taxes. You go to work when you don't feel like it. You fill up the car when it's 12 degrees below zero. Exercise is no different. Exercise may be something that you never really want to do, but you can do it because the long term benefits are worth it. A hidden obstacle within this obstacle is that maybe you don't catch the thought where you think I don't want to do it. Maybe you are an avoider and that thought is a bit like a snake in tall grass. And it isn't until you go to bed that you think, oh, I didn't exercise. That's why it's really important to put a post it two or three places that says, did you exercise today? And then you can say, oh, I saw the post it. I don't really want to exercise. Remember the satisfaction of completing a workout will outweigh the inconvenience Your mind, body, and soul will thank you. But not immediately. In the early weeks, it's about commitment, not motivation. When you feel like you don't want to exercise, remind yourself, you don't have to want to, you just have to start. Obstacle number two, you want quick results. That's actually one of my favorites. This common obstacle is expecting results too quickly. When you set a goal, your mind tends to fast forward to the finish line. You might picture yourself running a mile, walking for an hour, or swimming 30 laps. Let me share a story about a former client who was a competitive swimmer in her youth. She set a goal to swim 30 laps in her first week and 62 laps, which is a mile, in her second. On day one, she swam 10 laps and gave up. She decided swimming is no longer for me, so a couple days later, she switched to running, but after a few blocks, she quit. She came into our next session so frustrated. She sat on the couch and she said, I guess I'm just too old to exercise. We had a good laugh when I asked her if her age and weight had changed at all since high school. The solution? Treat yourself like a beginner learning a new skill. Think about it. When children learn to read, play piano, or master math facts, you probably remind them that it takes time and effort. Apply the same compassion and patience to yourself. Reframe your goal. Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on the process of sticking with it, even when it's harder than you imagined. Science tells 66 days to form new neural pathways. By showing up consistently, no matter how small the effort, you'll create new neural pathways and it will eventually make your behavior easier and maybe a little bit more automatic. My client laughed and said, I guess I need 30 cups of patience. Exactly. Start small, stay consistent, and trust the process. Remember, setting realistic goals, moderation, small consistent steps, will always be better than overwhelming expectations. Obstacle number three. When to listen to yourself. This is tricky because it involves striking a balance. On one hand, listening to your body can help prevent overdoing it. On the other hand, too much listening can lead to excuses. Am I avoiding exercise because my body genuinely needs rest? Or am I just not in the mood? One of my clients who was recovering from chemo gave me a great tool for this situation. She said she always had a hard time knowing if the fatigue was real. What she would do is go out and walk for five minutes. What she found is that the fatigue lifted in five minutes she had more energy for a bigger walk. But if after five minutes the fatigue got worse, she knew it was not a good day for her to walk. Obstacle number three asks you to learn to distinguish between excuses and legitimate reasons to rest and start small to overcome the inertia. Of course, the common obstacle always is time constraints. I don't have time to exercise, but check your cell phone. Do you have 30 minutes that you could take away from scrolling or watching Netflix in order to be able to meet your new year's resolution of a little bit more exercise on a consistent basis in your life? As you step into the new year, I encourage you to simplify your approach to exercise. A little goes a long way. Remember these three common obstacles. You're not going to want to exercise, but you can do it anyways. You're going to want quick results, but patience pays off. Learn to listen to yourself and distinguish when you need to tone it down and when you need to push through. You've got this. Thanks for listening. And I'll be back on Monday with more Creating Midlife Calm.