Ep. 123 Simple Hacks to Conquer Midlife Exercise Resistance, Shift Your Mindset, Decrease Stress & Anxiety This New Year

In the New Year, are you tired of feeling stuck on the couch and longing for a way to embrace exercise—even if you’ve always hated it?

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1. A midlife mindset update to see yourself as someone who exercises to decrease anxiety and improve  your health. 
2. How to choose movements you genuinely enjoy—no spandex required.
3. Practical tips to find the time and energy for exercise, even on your busiest days.

 Tune in now to learn how small, joyful steps can transform your relationship with exercise and help you embrace a healthier, happier midlife.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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MJ Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover four hacks that will help you get off the couch and exercise, even if you hate it. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. I'm sure you're not surprised that one of the top new year's resolutions is exercise. Of course, you know the benefits of exercise for your heart and your body, but as a clinical social worker, I have seen firsthand how exercise can significantly improve your mood and decrease your anxiety. Not to mention the benefit it has as you age. Are you someone who wants to exercise, but you just can't seem to get off the couch? Well, this episode is for you. Please don't give up because I want to share with you three science based hacks that I've used with my clients for years to help them move from, I hate to exercise, I'm not a person who exercises, or I just don't have time to exercise. As you age, it's common to feel like you're just too busy or too tired to exercise. But the good news is that even small changes can make a big impact on your physical and mental health. Let's face it, there's only two types of people in the world. The 28 percent who love to exercise and the 72 percent who don't. If you're in the 72%, it's possible you don't see yourself as someone who exercises. Let's start there. Take a moment to answer this question. A person who exercises looks like, what image popped into your head? For me, it was a young woman in orange spandex workout clothing pumping iron. Basically, an influencer, someone who gets paid to exercise. That is not me. And it's probably not you either. So the first step is to update your mindset that exercise is for the hot, the young, and the fit. Exercise is an equal opportunity employer. Our body needs to do it at every age and stage. It isn't just for the young, the hot, and the fit. Next, I want you to do this. I want you to picture yourself exercising. Choose something that you think you would like to do when it comes to exercise. It can be as simple as putting on comfy clothes and going for a walk, or maybe you're picturing yourself riding an exercise bike and catching up on the latest episode of your show. Or maybe you're doing yoga in your living room. I want you to stay with that thought. Run the mental movie of you doing that exercise for 20 seconds. Voila, just like that hot influencer, you too are an exerciser. The exercise industry is a 30 billion a year industry. It is great for the economy, but not for our mindsets, especially as we age and we can't really relate to the images that the media throws out when it comes to exercise. Now think about how you could build that which you imagined in your mental movie, into your week. What would it take for you to keep this habit going? So, hack number one is this. You have to be able to see yourself as a person who exercises even if you seldom have. Years ago, I worked with a 60 year old woman who suffered from depression. She had never exercised a day in her life. When she checked her Apple Watch, she saw that she averaged about 800 steps a day. Like most people, she didn't consider walking an exercise and she hated, to sweat. But She loved nature. She routinely would drive down to the park and sit on a bench and take what she would call nature baths. I asked her if she would try walking from one park bench to the next, about two blocks. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, I am not one of those people. One of those people, meaning those people who exercise at the park. I explained to her the research that said simple walking boosts the brain's feel good neurochemicals. And in my office, in that moment, I asked her to do the mental movie exercise, which you just did and that I taught in episode 115. Where she actually saw herself walking from one bench to the next. After a little bit of resistance, she said to me, I hate those people who walk by me. Well that kind of changes everything. I thought I was encouraging you to exercise, but you're hearing me ask you to become someone you don't really like. She confessed that she'd gone to school where people were sporty and that she always felt inferior because she wasn't. Hack number one is about taking back your power by understanding what is blocking you from exercising Maybe it's the images of the media that set the standards so high and that sell exercise as being the domain of the young and the fit. Or maybe, like my client, you have a childhood that really made you feel crappy for not being an athlete or not being fit. So you have said to yourself, I am not that kind of person. Another common obstacle now that you're older you feel so bad that you can't be as fit or as athletic as you had once been. Whatever is the block that keeps you from stepping into your own agency, your own power I want you to really be able to understand that the number one hack for you is to not get stuck in your mindset that says, I am a person who cannot do this. Don't make it complicated. Exercise is simply moving more. sport, spandex, or personal bests from high school. Let go of those outdated messages that are blocking you. Step into your agency by defining how movement can make you happy at this time in your life. And that brings me to hack number two. I want you to find a way to move that will make you happy. One of the biggest myths about exercise is that it doesn't count unless it's extreme or painful. For those of us in midlife, we grew up in the seventies and the eighties with Jane Fonda telling us to let it burn, let it burn. I want you to replace the word burn with yearn. I want you to yearn for exercise and you cannot yearn unless you choose a way to move that makes you happy. You don't have to run five miles. You don't have to go to a hardcore workout class in order to have exercise that will benefit you. Think about it. A hundred years ago, no one went to the gym or was running five miles. Life had enough movement built in. is meant to move. Our sedentary lifestyle demands for our wellbeing that we get up and move. And we're only going to do that if we can find a way to move that makes us happy. Many of my clients have found very simple solutions. For instance, they set a goal for the number of steps they want to take a day. Under 60, you should eventually aim to work up to 8 to 10, 000 steps a day. Over 60, you want to eventually work up to being able to do 6 to 8, 000 steps. Anything under 5, 000 is considered sedentary and that is not good for your health. As you know, your phone and your watch can easily track all of this for you. But maybe counting steps isn't for you. Ask yourself. What type of movement makes me happy? One client discovered a fun way to move while babysitting her grandchild. She started to dance to songs, making the baby laugh. And before long, she was dancing every day to a number of her favorite songs. This got her in touch with something she did as a child that she loved, dance class. She eventually went to the local Y and did dance two or three times a week. Another client who loved listening to books bought a used exercise bike and pedaled her way as she worked through her favorite detective novels. Some of my clients walk their dogs for exercise, often bringing along a family member, a friend, or they make work calls. I call this a twofer. Even if you don't have time or money for a gym due to the demands of midlife. Don't underestimate the incredible online resources, whether it's yoga classes, weight lifting or cardio. Many of them are free. Want to know what happened to my 60 year old client who loved nature, who had never exercised? She eventually worked up to doing the whole three mile river walk loop. One day she said to me, I see so many different types of birds now. She found pure joy and hardly broke a sweat. There are so many mental and physical benefits for you in midlife to take on this type of exercise where it's enjoyable for your body, your mind, and your soul. So hack number two is you be you. Trust what you enjoy at this time in your life and do it. It's always hard to start anything new, but it's always going to be easier if you choose something that you enjoy. When that voice inside of your head says, you're not doing enough, you're not sweating enough, and remind yourself that doing something is better than nothing. Keep moving. And that leads us to hack number three. That voice inside of your head that says you're not doing enough is the biggest saboteur when it comes to exercise. To keep it simple, it's doing what you can do today and are willing to do at least three or four times a week. I've seen so many people hit the gym hard in January, pushing themselves too much, and they get injured or so fatigued, they won't go back. Science tells us that 30 minutes of moderate daily exercise is a great target for midlife. But if you're not exercising at all, that's not where you should start. My recommendation is moderation. Aging is a tricky thing. Here's a fact from science that will blow your mind. You likely think of yourself as 10 years younger than you actually are. So when you set your exercise goals, you may unconsciously choose goals that are too ambitious. If you're 50, you might think you should aim for the intensity of someone who's 40, or even 25. Keep this in mind as you make decisions about how much you can do. The question shouldn't be, how much can I do? But rather, how much can I do and still enjoy it so I'll actually do it again? Moderate exercise means you're moving at a pace where you can still talk. All those videos of people sweating it out aren't necessary unless, of course, that's your jam. It is totally not my jam, so you have complete permission here at Creating Midlife Calm to not sweat. After 14 years of avoiding it, In a recent osteopenia diagnosis, I started weight training. To be honest, I hate it, but I have to do it for my health reasons. But I'm sticking with moderation. The class I go to is an hour, and as I'm building up strength very slowly, I'm only using four pound weights for half the hour,. I keep saying to myself, moderation, baby, at least I'm doing it. For more on the benefits of how moderation can help you stick with your goal of increasing exercise in the new year, check out episode 116. If you're not exercising at all, don't set yourself up for failure by trying to do it 30 minutes a day right away. Ask yourself, how many times a week can I realistically do this? Then put it on the calendar and stick with it. Feel free to get an accountability buddy, someone that you report to, I'm doing this for 10 or 15 minutes at this time on this day and shoot them a text after you've completed it. It is such a great feeling. One of my clients had a really busy life and he did not want to use medication to treat his anxiety. Because research shows that exercise is one and a half times more successful in Treating mild and moderate anxiety. His desire to use exercise made lots of sense to me. But what's the problem? It takes 2 seconds to swallow a pill and 30 minutes to exercise At first he really struggled to get the 30 minutes in, but he kept trying. His first plan was he'd go to the gym before work, but with his schedule, that just wasn't realistic. Then he thought, I'll go after work. Which worked for a few weeks until it was time for him to coach one of his kids. Finally, he lowered his expectations to a brisk 20 minute walk at lunch, which he could stick to. Many times he was on the phone doing work calls, but he had to let go of his high school athlete mindset and be okay with walking in this season of his life. For him, like some of my clients, exercise is medication. The point here is don't give up when your first attempt does not work. Keep trying to figure out how you can fit exercise into your life in a way that allows you to stick with it. It's more like a puzzle. You just keep trying to move the pieces so inside you're like, yes, I can do this. Hack number four, how can I find time to exercise? My clients who have been most successful in finding time to exercise all have one thing in commOn. They have added two or more hours to their day by being very conscious of how much time they spend on their devices. Check out episode 119 and 20 for tips on managing your phone, And you, like many of my clients, will be amazed When you end up with enough time to exercise, when you manage your phone in a conscious way. As we continue to roll into the new year, I want you to succeed in your goal to exercise more, while sleep and good food are foundational to health. What I have learned in working with people over the last 38 years is that moderate exercise is the secret weapon for getting better sleep and making healthier food choices. In this episode, I shared three hacks to help you get started with exercise this year. Number one, see yourself as someone who can increase your movement. Number two, find a way to exercise that makes you happy. Yearn not burn. And number three, wrestle with what's enough for you. And number four, find the time to fit it into your life., Your inner challenge this week is simple. try scheduling at least 10 minutes in on your calendar and make it non negotiable. Just do it. Don't overthink. Next time you're feeling too tired or busy, remember that even 10 minutes of movement counts. Any increase in movement will benefit you enormously. But as you try to integrate this new year's resolution into your life in a way where it really sticks, you can expect to face some obstacles. And on Thursday, I'm going to be back to share with you how to move through the common obstacles that people face when they begin to exercise. Thanks for listening to Creating Midlife Calm.