Ep. 194 The Surprising Way You Can Turn the Comfort of Fall into Coping Skills to Reduce Midlife Stress and Anxiety

Are you overlooking the comfort of fall that could become a powerful coping skill for midlife stress and anxiety?
You’re not alone—many people miss how seasonal routines and autumn comforts can ease anxiety and strengthen resilience.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1. How the comfort of fall can anchor you in calm and reduce stress and anxiety in midlife
2. The surprising difference between soothing and comfort—and why only one truly restores your energy
3. Why the science of comfort proves it’s not indulgent but a powerful coping skill for lasting midlife resilience

🎧 Take 10 minutes to reduce stress and anxiety with autumn comfort—you’re worth it.

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:05

In this episode, you'll discover how the comfort of fall routines can calm midlife stress and anxiety.

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:12

Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the podcast where you and I tackle stress and anxiety in midlife so you can stop feeling like crap, feel more present at home, and thrive at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 50,000 hours of therapy sessions and 32 years of teaching science-backed mental wellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:35

Welcome to the podcast. It is almost fall the season of pumpkin lattes, hay rides, sweaters, and comfort food. For many, including me. It's a favorite time of year, but what if you could turn the coziness of fall into a coping skill, a way to decrease stress, calm anxiety, and strengthen resilience in midlife in this episode, you'll discover the power of comfort versus the stagnation of soothing. I'm going to introduce you to Catherine Ava's, Science-Backed Theory of Comfort. Yes, comfort is science backed, and you're gonna begin to see it as a coping skill, not just a pan of chicken and noodles., lastly, we're gonna talk about how comfort can be strategic, helping you create calm amid overwhelm, building resilience and supporting bold steps forward. As you're well aware, fall is about transition. Shorter days, cooler nights, leaves changing. It's nature's reminder that change is constant. Yet change can also be grounding when you ritualize it. Often people who struggle with anxiety also struggle with change. I have found it enormously helpful for my clients to work on what I call seasonal mindset shifts. And what I mean by that is to give yourself a little bit of time to lament that summer is over, but then begin to think about creating a fall mindset. This can easily be done by leaning into seasonal rhythms, like buying a few fall pillows to put on your couch, lighting an autumn candle as the evenings grow longer, or taking a brisk walk in the crisp air. These small actions celebrate and welcome fall while also being anchors that can calm your nervous system. These repeated cues. Send your body signals of comfort. Bringing yourself to the present, telling your body, I'm safe. I'm stable. This is nice. Exhale, My daughter and I have a fall ritual where even though we live in different cities, we get a pumpkin spice latte on the first day of fall. We've done it for years and it's a fun way to usher in the next season. To lean into the comfort of fall, I want you to separate soothing and comfort. Soothing is often short term it numbs or distracts. Think binging on comfort food. Scrolling endlessly, or pouring another glass of wine. Soothing can quiet anxiety in the moment, but it often leaves you feeling worse in the long run. Comfort by contrast is restorative. It grounds you in the present moment, settles your body, and provides a sense of continuity. Most of my clients, when they begin to work with me, have lots of soothing techniques and very few comfort coping skills. Just hearing the definition and the difference between the two provides an immediate upgrade in their own self-care. One of my clients loved wine. She had a beautiful ritual where her and her spouse would have a glass of wine while they cooked dinner. They had done this for years and loved it. Yet, as my client entered midlife, her responsibilities grew and that glass of wine turned into two or more. She found herself not functioning well at night and often waking up at 2:00 AM when I told her the science of wine as we age, check out episode 1 57. She understood that her comfort had turned to soothing and she opted for only one glass and felt much better and had more energy to get things done at night. to understand why comfort matters, let's turn to science. Nursing theorist, Catherine kba developed the theory of comfort. Showing that comfort can be more than a nice extra, it's actually an essential for wellbeing. Her framework includes four domains, physical comfort, relief from bodily discomfort like warmth, relaxation, or good rest. Psychospiritual comfort finding meaning self-awareness or Inner peace, environmental comfort, soothing, surroundings like lighting, scent or safe spaces. And sociocultural comfort. Comfort from relationships, belonging, and feeling respected. When you think of fall, you can see how naturally it fits into all four cozy blankets and sweaters. Quiet walks through beautiful woods warm lighting and gatherings with loved ones in the fall I always have a few clients who are football widows. For their spouse. Fall is a time of great comfort because it includes their favorite activity watching football. They often come in frustrated by how much time football takes up, but their work with me includes them finding their own activities that bring them comfort. Some take this time to go hiking one learn to knit. And another turn the games into a social time, inviting his friends and their partners. My client who turned it into a party was wise enough to say this to her. Friends, I wanna know work, get together. Bring whatever food and drink you want. We'll supply the plates, cups, and tv. This was really hard for her, but she knew if she didn't. Discomfort idea. We'd become work. She had to keep managing her breath before the first one, but she did it and had a great time sitting on the porch enjoying the beautiful fall leaves and spending time with other non-football loving spouses. And what did she say at the end of the day to her husband? Your team lost, but my team won. So here's a reframe that might blow your mind. Comfort isn't an indulgence. It's strategic comfort helps you reset when life feels overwhelming, it reduces stress hormones like cortisol, and it builds the resilience needed to take on challenges with clarity and strength. I love Mel Robbins wisdom about this. She says, comfort helps you know when to push and when to pause. Knowing when to pause is a super power for Midlifers. Most Midlifers have the mindset that once I get everything done, I will pause, rest, and relax. The problem with that mindset is there's too much to do in midlife to ever stay on top of it. What if you accepted that you can't get on top of all that is to be done in midlife. Not as a failure, but just as a reality of this life stage. Just like you did when you had an infant. You didn't feel like you failed'cause you didn't get a full night's sleep. You understood that waking up to feed the baby. Was essential. Accepting that your to-do list never ends allows you to strategically incorporate comfort into your days, which often ends your practice of what I call covert soothing, where you aren't intentional and you end up soothing yourself with lots of negative energy and guilt. You know, connected to doom scrolling or mindless eating, pausing actually is restorative. It helps you move through your life with positive energy, with the right comfort practices. You're not hiding from your life. You're preparing to engage it more fully. So what do you say? Why not fall into fall intentionally this year? For this week's Inner Challenge, I want you to choose one comfort ritual to intentionally add to your fall routine. Maybe it's wrapping up in a blanket with tea before bed. Instead of scrolling or stepping outside each evening to breathe in the cool air and watch the sunset. The key is this, choose comfort that restores you, not soothing, that numbs you. Actually, after I tape this episode, I'm gonna go upstairs and fize my house, take out the pillows, put away my summer breeze candles, and change my place mats. Just thinking about this makes me relax. In today's episode, you discovered How the season of fall can be harnessed as a coping skill to reduce your anxiety. The difference between comforting and soothing, the theory of comfort and its four domains, and how comfort isn't an indulgent, it's a strategic practice, a coping skill to build calm connection and resilience. You and I both know that everything is more fun when done with a friend. So I invite you to forward this episode to a friend and to listen on Thursday where I'm gonna take this one step further. I'm gonna show you how to build an. Autumn comfort toolkit, practical, specific coping skills that you can use right now to decrease midlife anxiety and prevent it from getting worse as this season deepens. Thanks for listening, and I'll be back on Thursday with more creating midlife calm.