Ep. 286 How a Pest Control Salesman Increased My Anxiety, Stress & Isolation in Midlife

Could the interruptions that irritate you most actually be telling you something important about yourself?

If you've ever felt more frustrated than a situation seemed to warrant, you're not alone.

In this episode, you'll discover:

1. How irritation can sometimes be a clue that your day has quietly pulled you away from the calm, flexible, and connected person you want to be.

🎧 Take 4 minutes to notice what your irritation may be trying to tell you—you're worth it.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

Welcome to Creating Calm in the Wild. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, and this is your reminder that calm isn't always found when life settles down. It's actually something you can create right in the middle of the wild Today's Creating Calm in the Wild comes from a less wild location, my desk, Because that's the culprit of today's episode. On the podcast this week, we talked about loneliness and connection. On Wednesday, I had an experience that made me think about that conversation in a completely different way. Wednesdays are my work from home day, spending most of my working time on the computer. You know, insurance, paperwork, proposals, editing podcast episodes, all the things that come with running a business. I was being productive. But I've noticed something about myself on days like that. The longer I spend on my computer, the less flexible I become. I get hyper-focused, I push through, and the result is I do get a lot done. But I also become a little less patient, a little less curious, more irritated, and a lot less open to interruptions. And that's exactly when someone knocked on my door. I wasn't exactly thrilled because I was on a roll. But I went to the door, and standing on my porch was a young man selling pest control services. Yes, This guy who was bugging me wanted to talk to me about bugs. I knew within ten seconds I had no interest in buying his product, but he started with his pitch. And if I'm honest, I became increasingly frustrated. I wanted to get back to work. Eventually, I ended the conversation and came back inside. But something interesting happened. I didn't feel relieved. I didn't feel calmer. Instead, I felt a little disappointed in myself. What bothered me wasn't that I said no. It was how I said no. I wish I could tell you this is one of those stories where I suddenly slowed down, listened patiently, and had a wonderful conversation with the young man standing on my porch selling, especially because I believe selling is the backbone of America, and I'm always excited to see a young person who's doing it. But I didn't. The value of the experience came later when I realized why I reacted the way I did. As I reflected on it, I realized the young man really wasn't the problem. He wasn't the pest. The problem was that I had stopped seeing him as a person and started seeing him as an interruption. What struck me later was how proud he seemed of what he was doing. He was working hard, and for a few minutes, he was standing on my porch trying his best. Yesterday on the podcast, we talked about connection, and what I realized is that connection doesn't always show up in the ways we expect. Sometimes it arrives disguised as an interruption, and in this case, it was a little pest. Now, I'm not saying you need to buy pest control from every salesperson who knocks on your door, But I am wondering if some of the moments that frustrate us the most are actually clues. Clues that we're tired, clues that we've been staring at the screens too long, clues that we've become so focused on getting things done that we've stopped seeing the people right in front of us. So if you find yourself irritated today, tomorrow, or next week, before blaming the interruption, ask yourself, "What has my day been doing to me? Have I been rushing? Have I been staring at screens? Have I been so focused on productivity that I've stopped noticing the people around me?" Because yesterday, the young man at my door wasn't really the lesson. The lesson was noticing what my day had quietly turned me into. Thanks for listening, and I hope you'll join me Monday on the full-length episode of Creating Midlife Calm.