My Story (Continued)

The continued walk through a personal life story with Ebony Finesse.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:32

I wish you wouldn't be like that. I wish the work to be like that.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I am thankful for all of the things that I am, and more importantly, I am thankful for all of the things that I am not. For God did not make me in the spirit of fear, but to go forward bravely.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Welcome to another episode of Yachty. Yes, I have daddy issues.

SPEAKER_05 1:10

Hey, I know everybody got a chance to listen to part of my story. But here's part two of my story. I was feeling a little down, a little not so into it and a little sad because when I think of my biological daddy, it's almost a shame that he wasn't around and didn't want to be around. I'm not necessarily talking about babies. And I guess some people think I was a little hard on my mom. But I think all children have all children kind of lash out because they don't know where to go or how to feel. And they only have a little world that they can mash out to a mash up women. And in some cases, that was my mom. But at the time I had to know she was doing the best she could with what she had. I learned my work ethic from my mom and my stepdad. My mom worked three jobs. She didn't have time to go to softball games, track, mom's stuff, but she did the best she could. She made maybe one track meet that I had. Go figure I freaking fail and hurt myself. And then when I hurt myself, I just even moved on. I still went off because my mom was watching. And I continued. I continued the race. I continued that mile run. And the very last lap, neck and neck with a girl, first and second. It was up to me to push through, push through. And at the very probably 10 feet away, I gave up a little bit. I gave up because I felt it didn't matter. It didn't matter. My mom wasn't enough at that point to see me succeed. It wasn't enough because I wanted my dad there. I wanted my dad there cheering just like everybody else's dad was. I mean, mom was there cheering to my mom. My mom was just there. I don't know if she was cheering. But I shouldn't have been so hard. But then again, that was out of the eyes of a child. So just feedback. Give me some feedback. On the story, on my story. Because I'm sure I didn't see things the right way as a kid. And probably carried that way too long to adulthood or into adulthood. So give me some feedback. You can find me, Ebony Finesse, the number one at gmail.com. Ebony Finesse. Sit back and listen to the rest of my show.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

Bring it a little bit closer to it. Some memories that were great. So in my mom's time of hanging out, or whatever, and I kind of forgot the last thing I was gonna say. But anyway. Older gentlemen. And I guess he thought my mom was pretty. And her friends kind of hooked her up with him. And you know, he ran a good time house. And I guess, you know, throughout her running the streets with these friends and you know fake friends. I don't know. She kind of met him. And she started dating him. She started dating him. And then I met this guy. I'm like. Alright, whatever. Looked a little country. Looked older than anybody else she ever been brought home. Yeah, whatever. I'm like, okay, this is just another one of her uh fuck buddies. This is just somebody she bringing home to get to know. Just get close enough in her bed. So I I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care for him. I didn't care for her. I didn't care for nothing around me. Yeah, I didn't care. So I'm like, yeah, yeah. Another, another one. So this man came in. And then he started kind of living with us. And I'm like, this woman lost her damn mind. So now he living with us. Okay, so you like him so much he living with us. And again, we stayed in the project, so I'm like, What? Lady, have you just jumped off the first bridge you seen? And now you call yourself in love. And she was nicer, she would smile more, she was giddy, and it just made me sick. Just looking at her being like a little giddy catty little teenager, and she's you know all over him, and you know, I'm like, dude, stop it. You playing my mom just like all the rest of these niggas did, so stop. But this man was different, so he's living with us. We hardly seen him because he worked literally, okay. Hear what I'm saying. He worked 16 hours a day. Then this dude was a street dude, so he would get off of work, go run his good time house, he ran that junk to the wee hours of the night, and this dude would get up and go to work again another 16 hours a day. Now hear what I'm saying. He didn't work one of those little jobs like at a bank or at one of these managerial type places or anything. No, this dude worked in a mining, a coal mine. So he mined coal all day for 16 freaking hours. 16 hours. Now, this is some knowledge I started to know when I was older. And this guy would come home clothes black, full of slip. And then on top of that, he ran numbers in the street. So he made he worked all these hours, ran numbers, ran his good time house. So this dude was a hard freaking worker. So we barely saw him. He gave us a hug and all of that when he would go out. And then, man, that was we didn't see him hardly. But you know, he always gave us money, he always bought us things, he always took us places when he could. And when he couldn't, he just gave you know money to my mom. Hey, take them here. Take them there. Hey, I can't be there, but take them here. And then, you know, we didn't have we didn't have a car. We we had an old junker that didn't work. You know, so he he bought my mom a car. And I thought I was on top of the world. I'm like, yeah, but am I still in my, you know, now I have the wall that I had is very, very thick now. It's like, you know, triple thick. So he ain't getting it, he ain't getting in there because I know you just, you know, you just doing this just so you can be with my mom. You know, you don't care about us, you don't care about me. You don't care about me, you don't know me. And I never I didn't I didn't give him that opportunity to to know me. But he would take my mom out, they would go party together. He made sure we were good at home. We had things like you know, fast foods for the night. He'd still come and take care of us and you know, made things, make sure we had good things in the house. You know, he got rid of all of our old furniture, bought us new furniture, got us cable TV and microwave. And I'm like, man, I'm in a project, but um, we we living it up, you know, we living, we living nice up in here, and my mom was happy, but again, I I was mad at her because she was happy. I don't know. In my mind at that time, it made sense, but but I don't know. So and I later growing up, I realized why she she was she was so happy because she found that man, that person. She found her person. But I was mad at her for being happy that she found that person for her. I was still here in limbo with I didn't have a per I didn't have a father. So that person was never there for me. I still had this big gap, and now the wall was from the inside out around, yeah. So it was crazy in my head. So JB kind of just came in and just cleared everything we ever thought a father was, and filled the the void on the outside of my head, and what a father should be, but I wouldn't let him in. I would not let this man in. So, okay, going forward a little bit, so he did all these things, worked all these hours, hardly there, whatever. He even encouraged my mom to get a different job, stop doing the job she was doing because it wasn't paying that much. So he encouraged her to get another job, and then he was like, hey, I'm gonna teach you the streets too. So now my mom is you know running numbers too, and running the good time house too. So she was happy with that. She was happy with that, and then my dad started, uh he's well, not my dad, but this JB started not running his house so much that he um started another job. So he let the house go a little bit and started working another job. He was working another job at a golf course on like one of these rich mountains here. So now he upped the ante. So now my mom was working her first shift job. She would get off of her first shift job, run the numbers with him, and then she would come home to us and make sure we had mother at home while he worked this golf course job, getting mad tips and getting the remainder of food that they had at this golf course. So we had cakes and steaks and shrimp and all these different things. It was good, man. And then my mom was like, I want to do it too. So now my mom is like working her first shift job, working the numbers in the street, and then they would go together to this golf course. I mean, yeah, this golf course on the one of these rich mountains where only rich people live, and then she would come home with a lot of money. So now you know the in-house, we never wanted for anything. We never wanted for anything. We again, project life, we had all that we wanted. I mean, everything. We had everything, I mean, and and then like I said, when they came came back home with all these different foods and stuff, now we had rich food, if you will, so it was great, it was great, and that's part of the reason why I became a foodie, but it it it was great, and then here here come my later teenage years, and now I'm I'm wanting a boyfriend. The feeling was kind of you know warm and fuzzy at home, and I saw how happy my mom was. I wanted my own boyfriend, I wanted my own person, and then you know, I got pregnant looking for that my own person, and that's a whole nother story that I will put in another cat podcast, but JB was like, ah, yeah, wow. At the same time, my mom's brother passed away. So my mom was now grieving, and I'm pregnant. Her oldest responsible daughter was pregnant, so it became really bad between us, really bad. Again, that's another story on a different cast. But JB was like, okay, she pregnant. I don't want that baby to be born in the projects. So this dude started working at getting us a house. So five months into my pregnancy, we used to go every summer with my uncle. So five months into my pregnancy, we we were at my uncle's house for the summer in uh Nashville and having a good old time or whatever, and I went into premature labor. And JB and my mom was out at the I guess uh casino. They was at a casino and they got back from the casino and this dude got on the highway right after this long casino trip. Got off the highway, drove two hours to bring my mom to see me. Because it was I was 18 and the situation was critical at that time, and he drove her all the way to see me. And he was so tired, he stayed, he slept in the chair for probably a couple hours, left my mom, drove back so he could go to work at this coal mine, and the the uh run the numbers because you can't miss the day in running the numbers only on Christmas. So he ran the numbers, worked on the mountain, drove back to get my mom and make sure I was okay, and then they drove back. I was going through my thing with the pregnancy and all. But that night when I was in the bed, I was thinking, man, JB tired. He gotta be tired. But then it kind of, you know, left me because again, I was dealing with so much with this pregnancy thing. So moving forward, I had the baby, he had to stay in Nashville in the hospital. But when I drove back, or not drive back, I wasn't driving then. When I came back, the house that we were living in the in the project was dead damn near empty. I'm like, what's going on? Everything in my room that was in my room was kind of strung about on the floor. There was no bed or any or dresser or anything in there. But I'm like, what the heck? What are y'all doing? What's going on? And then they drove me to this house. They were like, pack all that little stuff up, and and we're going over here. No, over where? And we went to our house. And it was a small house, but it was a house. It wasn't a project. We had a yard, we had side windows, a backyard, had and everything. It was like okay. And he bought new furniture. Dining room. We had an EDN kitchen, so our dining room was used more for like a den type. And it was great. It was cozy. It was big enough for my baby to have a crib. And my dad, you know. You heard that, my dad. I'll get to that. It was great. He put the playpen in the front room because he didn't want us to be away from my baby. When he comes home. He wanted everything to be right there so he could, so I could see him, so everybody could pay attention to him. Everybody could see him. So now I'm starting to feel that he was a father. It's starting to settle that he was a father. It started to feel like he was now. He didn't care about my wall. He didn't care about chipping at the wall. He didn't care about cracking the wall. But he filled the cup until the water went over the wall. And now I'm covered with fatherly love. Now you have to understand one thing about my dad. He was a cussing man, but his actions were so huge that you couldn't do anything but feel love in him. You knew he loved you because of his actions. He never came out and said, I love you. But everything that he did, everything, once we got a little bit older, my sister and I, he would take us and take us under his wing and teach us how to run the numbers in the streets. Gamble with some of the guys at the little hole in the wall. And taught us how to hustle. He believed if you were a woman, you should never have to walk for anything. Because if a man didn't give you enough respect to give it to you, you had tools of your own to get it. You had a way of talk. You had a way of appeal. You had a way of charisma to get what you need and what you wanted out of life. It wasn't until he started to get sick that that old feeling came back of here's another one that's gonna leave out of my life. He's gonna be gone again, and I'm not gonna have that father feeling. Because it gets so much more interesting. But I thank you for tuning in right now. I thank you for hearing my story. I look forward for you to be back with a continuation of that and learn more about who I am. I definitely like to hear who you are. I definitely like to hear your background, your father theory. You can reach me on any of the platforms, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram. Reach out to me, ebonyfinesse1 at gmail.com. I'd like to invite you to be on this cast with me. I'd like to hear his story. Like I said, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a counselor, it's just an open forum for discussion. Maybe your story can help somebody else understand who they are. The biggest thing I care about is women, particularly understanding their worth, understanding who you are, and also men understanding who you are. Begin to heal from your past and move forward because it's possible, it's possible to heal, it's possible to leave the past where the past is and move forward and make things better, make life better for yourself, your children, and your mate, your spouse, your girlfriend, boyfriend. It is possible, but it's got to start within. Your past doesn't define who you are. So yeah, come on this podcast with me and share. I thank you again for listening to Yachty. Yes, I have daddy issues. You can email me at ebonyfiness1 at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

Thank you so much for listening. But before we go, I want you to remember, you are enough. You are seen, and most of all, love yourself more than anyone else ever could.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Hey, editor here. Thank you for listening to this episode of Yes I Have Daddy Issues. Visit us again on our regular platform day every Friday on your favorite listening platform. Feel free to connect with us on Facebook, X, Instagram, and even TikTok. Also be sure to check us out on social media for Sneak of Peek Wednesdays. Every Wednesday is a preview of our upcoming episode on that Friday.