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The All Exclusive Podcast
S3 - E5 - Summer Barbecue: The Jack and Henry Helpline
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Ever wondered what makes the ultimate summer barbecue? Picture this: We're live from Jill's garden, dishing out top-notch barbecue tips just for you! We've got a hilarious debate on the quintessential coronation chicken—yes, Celia still owes us that promised invite. Hear about our quirky obsession with viral trends, like rolling bottles on TikTok, and our lighthearted proposal for a Lambrini experiment to test our guests' drink desperation levels!
Next, brace yourself for the zaniest chapter: Pranksgiving! This festive gathering of ours is legendary, featuring none other than a life-size cutout of Ainsley Harriot. And what if we could toss Louis Theroux, Piers Morgan, Jeremy Clarkson, and Greta Thunberg into a barbecue mix? Imagine the fireworks! You'll love our imaginative chatter about how these personalities might clash or connect over the grill. It's all about the joy of unexpected camaraderie and the laughs that follow.
And just when you think it can't get better, we recount the quintessential barbecue moments—from salads and nibbles to BBQ mishaps. Ever planned the perfect barbecue only for it to be hilariously ruined by rain? You'll relate to our soaked adventure in Jill's garden, salvaging the evening under a tiny umbrella. Nostalgia takes us back to choral courses at Wellington College and a London to Brighton trip, where the smell of grilling food wafted through the air. Join us for an episode that's equal parts humor, nostalgia, and the pure joy of shared experiences.
Hello, you're through to the Jack and Henry Helpline. How can we help you? Please leave your message after the tone To re-record your message. Key hash at any time. Well, jack, here we are again. Here we are again, henry On the Helpline?
Speaker 2Yes, the Jack and Henry Helpline.
Speaker 1Here we are, and after the huge success of our last helpline episode you wouldn't believe it, jack we've actually had someone write in.
Speaker 2We've been inundated with one whole request.
Speaker 1It was literally over six words.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1It was from Jill. Jill the guest.
Speaker 2Thank you, Jill the guest. Yes, Jill wants us to sort out her problem and she asks this question.
Speaker 3Hi, Jack and Henry, it's me Jill Jill the guest. I'm hosting a summer barbecue and would love to get your tips regards Jill the guest well, thank you, jill, thank you that's a big question.
Speaker 2It is and, and, and. Look, the sun is shining for one for once. Yes, I mean at the time of recording this. What a beautiful day and Jack.
Speaker 1What's also impressive is that we're recording this from Jill's garden.
Speaker 2We are. We're here in Jill's garden and we're going to be going over some of the best barbecue tips. What we're going to be doing to set up for that for this afternoon. There's nothing better than a summer barbecue.
Speaker 1And you know what always comes out at a barbecue Coronation chicken.
Speaker 2Don't think I've ever been at a barbecue with a coronation chicken.
Speaker 1Okay, maybe it doesn't always come out at a barbecue.
Speaker 2But in our barbecue it will be there.
Speaker 1As you know, if you listen to the first few seasons of the podcast, we are mass fans of coronation chicken. I can't believe this is its first mention on season three.
Speaker 2I can't believe it either. My biggest question I've never made a coronation chicken. We still have those pops of sauce. Well, this is what I'm about to say. What are the ingredients? That goes into a coronation chicken, Because I think it's like curried chicken.
Speaker 1Well, celia said she puts I think it's mangoes in hers and apricots.
Speaker 2But she still hasn't.
Speaker 1No, she's not invited us around yet.
Speaker 2Celia, we're calling you out now. It's been a year, it's been over a year and we still haven't been invited round for Coronation Chicken.
Speaker 1I don't even know if she listens anymore no, we don't know.
Speaker 2This is very true. But I mean, yes, sherry got us some care packages once, didn't she? She? Did and you're demonstrating holding the bag? No, because I was about to demonstrate. Sherry got us um some some care packages once, didn't she? She did, actually, and and that was the one where demonstrating holding the bag. No, because I was about to demonstrate. Well, I know, not very good for the podcast, but what happened when she gave us the coronation chicken?
Speaker 2she gave us a little bag, um it said, fragile on it fridge yeah, no, well, did it originally no the second one originally the second because sherry gets us presents every time. I'm going to call out everybody else, especially you, jill the guest who doesn't bring like sherry brings us presents every time she comes on to resort, but this particular one, well mark brewer lobbed it across the room exactly, yeah, she handed him the bag of presents said this is for jack and henry.
Speaker 2There wasn't anything in there for mark, so he threw the bag and in the bag were jars, glass jars of coronation chicken, and remarkably they survived. Yeah, I think they are the sort of things that would survive anything like and you can have you seen those that weird?
Speaker 1it's not really a trend anymore that weird tiktok stuff for those bottles being pushed down.
Speaker 2Yes, rolled down the stairs. Yeah, maybe we should try that with jars of coronation Chicken. On the Atlas Theatre backstage stairs what? Was that trend, by the way, but weirdly, addictive, addictive unsatisfying a lot of the time.
Speaker 1I don't know why. I was always what I couldn't ever believe about that trend. If you haven't seen it, basically it would be videos of people rolling various bottles and glassware down some stone steps yeah, often like the fire escape of an apartment or something yeah and then you would just see how many steps it took for it to smash. But what I always found so remarkable about it is in all of the videos they would do like 11 bottles yeah but the stairs were dry and clean every time.
Speaker 1So I'm thinking did you do this in like 11 days? What was the cleanup operation for this? Never thought about that you know, because the stairs would then be clear again. So I'm thinking how much effort did you put into this? A lot, by the sound of things. And also if there was suddenly a fire in your building and someone had to access the stairs, you know, the stairs were always vacant yeah, but I'm sure in some outtake.
Speaker 1There was someone who was coming up the stairs and suddenly there are loads of bottles coming towards them should we have lambrini at our barbecue? Oh, I think I think we've got to. You know how you can marinate meats in alcohol. Could we have like a Lambrini? Could it be infused in the Coronation chicken? I don't think you'd want to, I think it would dissolve the chicken, it really would.
Speaker 2I'm just thinking, though could we use the Lambrini as, like, an experiment? You leave the bottle of. Lambrini on the side of a table and you judge your barbecue guests on if they take, if it gets opened. Yeah, and actually, or there's a couple of ways you could do it like that you could sort of judge the people you know, because then you want to see what sort of guests you've got at your barbecue, or you see at what point do people get desperate enough if we've run out of other drinks do they go for the lambrini, could it be?
Speaker 1like. Do you remember in the last season of the traitors when diane drank from the poison chalice? Yes, you know, the first person to drink from the lambrini has to go like evicted.
Speaker 2Yeah, or you make everybody drink a glass of lambrini just before the barbecue, just to really set the mood just to get rid of the weak ones.
Speaker 1Yeah, just it's just survival of the fittest. Yeah, I think that's probably what it is if you've got a good immune system, you can stay, if not, you're out forever. Yeah, I quite like that idea, so I think lambrini is a win.
Speaker 2Yeah, and we've still got, as I said, those jars how many bottles? Just one yeah, just don't want any more than that no and then some uh, coronation chicken and the coronation but are we making? Basically? My whole point at the start of that was are we making the coronation chicken from scratch or are we just pre-made coronation chicken sauce that we?
Speaker 1are. I think it very much depends where it's from. I I think if celia's coming, yeah, she can bring it. Yeah, are we inviting celia? Well, I think this was about to be my next point. We've never done this on the podcast before because it's a bit of a cliche, but I think we should give ourselves each three guests, dead or alive. Dead, yeah, you know it jack no, this is so sad. It is sad, isn't it, but who would you bring?
Speaker 2Celia Potter because she'd bring her Coronation Chicken, hmm and and alive. By the way, is it too cliche to say james r hern as well?
Speaker 1no, I agree, james r hern a lot of fun mark brewer, you've just picked your three. Yeah, well, no, you're, you're maxed out.
Speaker 2No, no, but you. You offered mark, but who?
Speaker 1are you bringing? Okay, well, I'll bring mark you bring mark alive for now yeah, I mean after all again nearly died, alive or dead.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'll bring mark yeah, it could be like weekend at bernie's, weekend at brewers, weekend at brewers. We just puppeteering around the barbecue. Do you know who I, who else I would bring? It would have to be like a really good chef, because I feel like then that would just elevate the food quite considerably. What about, do you know who I'd get?
Speaker 3ainsley harriet I know we're very much alive.
Speaker 2Why? Hello jill? All comes full circle. You can't believe it, I that I'm proud of us and you know what? It's quite funny because I have a life-size cutout of Ainsley Harriot in my office. What Backstory to this Every Christmas?
Speaker 3I don't think we can hear it.
Speaker 2No, every Christmas, me and my friends get together for like a Christmas dinner. We call it Pranksgiving because it's the day of pranks.
Speaker 1That's the thing 29-year-old men do? Yes, of course, this is it.
Speaker 2It's our tradition. Every year a different person hosts it, but the on the original pranks giving dinner. Um, we hand out, we put presents in the middle, and then you have to take a present and then you can steal somebody else's present or you. It's steely santa yeah but one of the but. There's prank presents in the middle and we all play pranks on each other, but one of the prank presents one year was a life-size cutout of Ainsley Harriot did you know it was a life-size cutout of Ainsley Harriot?
Speaker 2I think I bought the life-size cutout of Ainsley Harriot. Can I ask why? For the prank present.
Speaker 1But why did? Why do I now have it?
Speaker 2oh, um, I think it was of the era of the why hello Jill. You know Jill has died, jill's dead. Oh yeah, the original, not Jill the guest. No, no, I was just going to say she's alive still. You'll have to invite her to a barbecue, but no, the original from the meme. If you've not yet seen the meme.
Speaker 1Go and watch. It's terrifying. It was on this morning and alison hammond knocks on the door of this elderly woman named jill and was it a mother's day thing? I?
Speaker 2can't.
Speaker 1It was like a mother's day gift or something to surprise this old woman with a gift, and the gift was ainsley. Harriet was going to cook for her in her kitchen. And this poor woman. Can we not play a clip of it? Yes, I'm sure we can. She looks absolutely terrified in this clip because imagine you're sat at home watching this morning or whatever, and suddenly you hear this there's going to be more, because we've only got Ainsley Harriot here who's going to do a treat dish for you.
Speaker 2He's going to cook you a lovely treat in your very own kitchen.
Speaker 1Here he is why hello Jill.
Speaker 2You're a lovely treat in your very own kitchen. Here he is why, hello Jill, how are you, my love.
Speaker 1I mean, I'd be petrified if Ainsley Harriet suddenly walks into my sitting room. It is. Holding a frying pan.
Speaker 2No, I think it's brilliant and it became a very. It just became a thing that we'd always say, and every time we greeted each other me and my friends it would always be why hello Jill, why hello jill? Um, so it became a bit of a funny thing anyway. The tradition now is whoever hosts pranksgiving gets to keep ainsley harriet for the year, and I was the last host of pranksgiving dinner, I see. So he lives with me this year, um, and then our friend went away on holiday and some over the years the tradition has changed as they, and we've got our friend Callan. We've got like a mask of him, because I can't remember why we ever had that. So we popped that over Ainsley's face and now he's Ainsley Calliot. Wow, I even have a life-size cutout of Boris Johnson now as well, but that was a similar sort of thing that was left at mine for Prankskipping skipping.
Speaker 1So you're like a cut out version of Madame Tussauds a little bit, yeah, yeah my someone I used to do the junior choral courses with, martha used to have a. What was it? It was like a jacket and on the jacket were loads of faces of Louis Theroux right she'd wear it all the time.
Speaker 2he would be good to get at the barbecue.
Speaker 1yeah, louis Theroux, right Do you wear it all the time.
Speaker 2He would be good to get at the barbecue. Yeah, louis Theroux would be great. He's great, he is. I like Louis.
Speaker 1Theroux? Okay, I think. So is he your third guest, or is Ainsley Harriot your third?
Speaker 2guest Ainsley Harriot. Do we have to stick to three? You can have another one Four. Louis Theroux, mark Brewer.
Speaker 1So I'd have Mark. So I'd bring Mark. I'll be responsible for him, I don't want to be responsible for him. Two Piers Morgan that would be quite interesting. I just think it would be interesting. Piers Morgan and Louis Theroux. I think Louis Theroux would hate Piers. Morgan, of course he would. So let me make it even more interesting, jeremy Clarkson.
Speaker 2Yes, being three you've got very controversial people because I like I do like. You want an interesting but I think you need other people there to spark that. I do think what I think is okay we need. We need other people at our barbecue, because if you've got those controversial people, you want other people to be offended by it. Who would be?
Speaker 2really offended you know jeremy clark's. I love jeremy clark's, I think it's great, but you know, the whole time he would be talking about the meat and how vegans would hate let's invite a vegan.
Speaker 1Yeah, who's a famous vegan? Oh, greta thunberg yes, get greta Thunberg along. Okay, so we have, and you can you imagine, mark Brewer.
Speaker 2Greta.
Speaker 1Thunberg and James R Hearn. Yeah, I just think okay. So hang on, we've got Celia Potter. Yeah, james R Hearn, ainsley, harriot Louis Theroux, piers Morgan, greta Thunberg, greta Thunberg, jeremy Clarkson and Mark Brewer. Should we get Peter Andre along as well?
Speaker 2yeah, just why not for the?
Speaker 1entertainment. Anyone else who wants to come? Who would be this is a question Harry Kane for Mark Harry.
Speaker 2Kane and his family. Yeah, yeah, get them back in terms of entertainment for the barbecue.
Speaker 1yeah, if you could pick, get them back. In terms of entertainment for the barbecue. Yeah, if you could pick a potter's activity to have in the garden, what would you have there?
Speaker 2I'm going to rule out archery because I think it's too dangerous with the people that we've got.
Speaker 1I know we mentioned it on the brewer episode, but the sausage roll challenge I mean I feel it's too dangerous with the people that we've got. I know we mentioned it on the brewer episode, but the sausage roll challenge I mean.
Speaker 2I feel that's yeah, that's, that is proper summer barbecue at top tier activity, I think.
Speaker 1And it's also food.
Speaker 2Yeah, so you're also feeding people.
Speaker 1I mean not if I throw them, you're not feeding people.
Speaker 2So so currently we've done a lot of shout outs, for we do wonders for them.
Speaker 1We could get the PTC to do a show outside yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Which show? I would choose last year's Christmas show to be the one we do.
Speaker 2Celebration.
Speaker 1I mean, that's all the shows anyway. Exactly You're hitting all the marks. We're hitting all the marks we're hitting all the marks multiple times I think celebrations hot shots is a classic hot shot. I feel that feels like summer barbecue sort of hot shot sausage roll, a lot of throwing things into a hole.
Speaker 2Yeah so obviously, for any great barbecue, you need great guests. We've covered that topic. Yes, it's done. We've. We've covered that. Very busy, very busy this bar be crowded, so we need a lot of food yeah so food, what are the, what are the must-haves, and do you know what I'm going to suggest and I know what you're going to follow up with scotch egg? Yes, and you know where a scotch egg was invented.
Speaker 1It was in the 1700s, fortnum and mason invented the scotch egg. They, they did Um. Yeah, Scotch egg 100,. Oh, I love a Scotch egg.
Speaker 2I know we are bordering from barbecue into picnic Meats. Sausages. I could supply the sausages Could get my mum. You could, yes, from my mum's farm.
Speaker 1And then Jeremy could bring her own food. We aren't catering for her.
Speaker 2No, no, yeah, no, no. She can eat a rice cake in the corner, or something.
Speaker 1She can eat the grass. Yeah, she can mow the lawn for us, mm. Yeah, food Okay.
Speaker 2What else? Why are we sticking on the barbecue? I mean, obviously you've got to go. Let's go through the classics Barbecue barbecue, a burger, nice, juicy burger.
Speaker 1My dad makes really good homemade burgers. They are amazing. We've gone through this phase recently, every time I'm home, of having a barbecue, which I think this is a great tradition we just started it of having a barbecue when you say just started it, you mean well, for like the last five weeks, okay, of barbecuing once a week, no matter the weather. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2I love that about british culture. Yeah is I'm gonna barbecue and I will stand in the rain and cook and that cook outside because, this is the summer and because it just tastes better yeah so which in theory?
Speaker 1why do you have to have a barbecue when it's sunny?
Speaker 2you know, if you've got an umbrella that's covering it yeah and you're dry, yeah, then it tastes better anyway, it is the top of my shopping list at the moment is a nice barbecue yeah um, and I bought myself a little burger maker thing Do you know where you?
Speaker 2get obviously you put the thing and you just clamp it down and it forms the shape properly Slightly toasted bun, Now the normal sesame bun, or like a brioche type bun. Brioche yeah, they taste better, don't they? Brioche is amazing, but at this barbecue today we're going. But at this barbecue today are we going to offer both buns. What are we going to like? Because I think the whole point of barbecue is you can just tailor it Like we've gone through what we like on a burger, but this has got to be.
Speaker 1The other great thing about barbecue is in what other setting do you go? So if you're in a restaurant and you have a burger and then you go, yeah, I'll have two more of those. Yeah.
Speaker 2I mean you, you go. Yeah, I'll have two more of those. Yeah, I mean be looked at like a psycho.
Speaker 1No, any sort of buffet style dining, but at a barbecue. At a barbecue you end up having about seven. Yeah, it is. It is top tier dining, because I'm quite full after a burger when I'm out, yeah you know, but at a barbecue I can have all of them, and that's why you know my dad I'm not going to call out one of his flaws barbecuing here the first one he did recently and he's never done this before. Because who does this and you will be disgusted by this, all of our listeners will actually, he put the burgers on, he put a burger on and then he served up one burger, one burger, one burger. And then we went, oh yeah, should we have some more? He went yeah, I'll just go and put them on. I'm like no.
Speaker 2No, no, you're meant to cook them all, it's all together, all together.
Speaker 1What are you doing? What do you mean? You're going to put them on now. I think a big bowl of coleslaw is necessary.
Speaker 2Any barbecue, yeah, yeah. What other salad sort of options? Cucumber.
Speaker 1Yes, oh, I love a mozzarella and avocado. I get it's meant to go with tomato, but I just go for the mozzarella and avocado because tomato, oh, it's from Alessandro.
Speaker 2Alessandro.
Speaker 1What's he saying? Oh, he sent me my menus back, because when I'm in new york, he has sent me all the things I'm allowed to eat from the restaurants I'm going to. So that's what he sent me good for alessandro, so he's on the food chat as well yeah good for he's joining in. Should we invite alessandro?
Speaker 2I think so, but he, would he not spend the whole time telling you what you can and can't eat?
Speaker 1oh actually, yeah, he can stay far away. I literally had a dream, literally the other night. I had this dream that I was in the pop-in shop of all places and it was summer and I got a Magnum. When I say I'm being deadly serious. I suddenly dreamt that he popped up, so I just put it in the bin.
Speaker 2Yeah, wow, so we, I just put it in the bin. Yeah, wow, so we sort that. We're basically sorted out food for for your barbecue jill um yeah, so jill, that's.
Speaker 1Oh, you're also sorry. No, because this is really important, because you don't want your guests in a bad mood. Yeah, have some nibbles, have some tortillas and dips for the beginning. Oh, yes, what sort of dips? Sour cream and chive, hummus, tzatziki, that's it. That's all you need doritos homemade guac.
Speaker 2Yes homemade guac homemade not, there has never been a good.
Speaker 1Possibly once there's never been a good store-bought guac. The best hummus I had, apart from like real homemade Greek hummus, was the one that you bought yeah, oh, um, do you know?
Speaker 2yeah, what's the ramanas?
Speaker 1I think it's called ramanas no, ramonas, ramonas, yeah, but, and they also do the ramona chips, don't they yeah, which are really good can I say, can I tell you the story of how I got into ramonas?
Speaker 2I mean amazing you can, but also red pepper hummus is the best, by the way um yeah, I was in Tesco looking at hummus and an angel appeared in the form of a random elderly woman who just said this is really nice hummus. She like, it was like she read my mind going. I have had it.
Speaker 3Was like as you've said before, like Dolly Parton.
Speaker 2It was like Christmas on the square, yeah because it was like, basically she just appeared and parted like dolly parton it was. It was like christmas on the square. Yeah, because it was like, basically she just appeared and parted, she'd had the hummus before and gone. This is amazing. I need to share this with somebody, and since then I have shared the. Then I'm sharing it to you was she dressed in glamorous rags?
Speaker 1yes was she on a floating?
Speaker 2cloud potentially wow. And she was like try this hummus, this is the best hummus ever.
Speaker 1And I I took her up on that and then how are you going to get you know so after eating, because we're nearing the end of the barbecue?
Speaker 2we are, we've missed out quite a crucial ingredient what drink? We've only got one drink, and at the moment it's Chateau Neuf de Cac. That's fine. No, is it a bring your own booze sort of situation? Well, we've got Brian's.
Speaker 1Cocktails, brian's Cocktails. So you bring your own drink Creamy Coconut Dream and Brian will turn them into a Creamy Coconut Dream.
Speaker 2Any other. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, bring your own sort of bits and pieces, bring your own.
Speaker 1It just gets too expensive. Otherwise we're already spending a hell of a lot on meats.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1You know, after the food's finished, is it just drink until we're done?
Speaker 2I think the party continues. The party definitely continues.
Speaker 1Because there's plenty of food there.
Speaker 2You continue drinking, socialising, playing games.
Speaker 1I guess we keep going with hot shots and the Beat the Entertainer games. It I guess we keep going with Hot Shots and the Beat the Entertainer games. It will probably end with. Here's how I'm thinking it's going to go.
Speaker 2Peter Andre Ainsley Louis might leave.
Speaker 1Yeah, celia will go, maybe, or maybe she won't, but I think that's when Piers and Jeremy will start and Greta are going to start going in, and then it will be a set around the fire pit.
Speaker 2there's got to be a fire yeah, I know they're naturally a fire pit, yeah and then that's when the night will draw to a close.
Speaker 1I think it will let someone will storm off at the end.
Speaker 2I think, but it's not. It's not a great barbecue until somebody storms off no, they have to storm off.
Speaker 1Right, we're going get in the car. You know it's got to be that. Maybe they snatch their wine back off of brian's coconut dream table and walk out what's one of the best barbecues you've ever had so what?
Speaker 1I have a really fond memory of barbecues. It was actually when we did the choral courses as well was we would. They were well, we would do the meter at wellington college or cheltenham, but the ones at wellington we would on our final day before the last day, so before the concert, or on our penultimate day after we'd finished our final rehearsal about seven o'clock. Bear in mind. On those courses we did about 90 hours of singing. It was crazy like the rehearsal schedule was insane and we would go and have this massive barbecue that they'd have prepared whilst we were singing which, by the way, was hellish in that last rehearsal because the windows were always open because of the summer, that's the thing, and you could just smell for an hour, just all of this amazing barbecue food and I know we've covered this again on the previous podcast, but or we will that london to brighton.
Speaker 2London and brighton have never smelt so good. All I could get was smells of different foods envious of that burger.
Speaker 1That was a proper burger van burger.
Speaker 2That was a nice burger. I was really jealous of that so, jill, we've just set up for you, all of the, the barbecue, it's lit now.
Speaker 1Oh, hang on, jack. Yeah, I've just got a notification on my phone. What's this? It's going to start raining in five seconds what oh here? Yeah, oh, here it comes. Oh no, jack, jack, quickly pop the umbrella up.
Speaker 2Pop the umbrella. Well, the rain is coming down.
Speaker 1The rain is here. Oh, greta, you were right, it is changing. Yes, you don't all have to leave.
Speaker 2No, louis, come back. Who's going to eat all this Coronation chicken?
Speaker 1Goodbye, Jill. Okay, more for us then, Jack. I mean, it's a bit soggy.
Speaker 2Would you it's prepare your burger for you then?
Speaker 1That's it then.
Speaker 2So it's just me, you and Jill sat under an umbrella. No, Jill's gone. Jill's gone as well.
Speaker 1This is her house, but she's gone. She's gone inside, she's gone inside, so it's just us. Sat in Jill's garden now.
Speaker 2So, as the night draws to a close, we said that like 15 times.
Speaker 1So as the sun sets on Jill's garden.
Speaker 2Yep, well, the clouds have come over and it's just me and Henry sat under an umbrella cooking a barbecue. If anyone wants to join us, let us know.
Speaker 1And we'll send you Jill's address. Think about what this rain is going to do to your hair.