E103. Minimising the emotional toll, stress and overwhelm during your home design and build

In this episode of the Building Design, Prime Time Podcast Frank and Amelia discuss the potential reasons for overwhelm and stress during the design and construction of your home. Building or renovating should be exciting… but the reality is, it can also be one of the most stressful and expensive experiences you’ll ever take on. In this episode, Frank and Amelia talk about the hidden emotional and financial pressures that often catch people off guard – and how to navigate them without losing your mind (or your budget) with strategies to help minimise these situations. 

Frank shares the behind-the-scenes realities of decision fatigue, budget blowouts, and what really happens when last-minute changes are made. You’ll hear why even the smallest design choices can snowball into delays, cost increases, and heated debates, plus the simple steps you can take to avoid these traps.

We also dive into the challenges of renovating while living on-site, and why it’s often a completely different emotional journey compared to a new build. From setting realistic expectations to managing communication between partners, we’ll give you practical tools to keep your project on track and your stress levels low.

If you’re about to start building or renovating – or you’re halfway through and feeling overwhelmed – this episode is packed with tips to help you stay in control, protect your budget, and enjoy the process.

Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode! We release a new one each week! 

About us
Prime Design is a building design company locally owned and operated in Tasmania since 2004.  Our goal is to share as much valuable information as possible about the process of building design, extensions, and more. We will talk about a different topic each week. To suggest a topic you would like us to talk about contact us at info@primedesigntas.com.au

Disclaimer
The information provided on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, individual circumstances, or remedy. We strongly suggest you consult a qualified professional before taking any action based on the information provided in this podcast. The views, opinions, and information provided in this podcast are those of the hosts do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organisation, employer, or company. All content provided on this podcast is provided “as is” without warranty of any kind. We make no representations as to the accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this podcast and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, or damages arising from its use. We reserve the right to change content or delete any information provided on this podcast at any time without prior notice.

Transcript

E103. Minimising the emotional toll, stress and overwhelm during your home design and build

[INTRO] (0:08 - 0:24)

Hello and welcome to the Building Design Prime Time Podcast, focused on providing valuable information for anyone looking to undertake a new build or extension project. We'll share our tips, tricks and stories from a building designer's perspective.

[Amelia] (0:26 - 0:42)

Hello and welcome to the Building Design, Prime Time Podcast, I'm your host Amelia and once again we're joined by Frank Geskus.

[Frank](0:42 - 0:47)

Hi Amelia, how are we? 

[Amelia]

Oh, pretty good. So, 

[Frank]

what are we talking about today?

[Amelia] (0:47 - 1:00)

Well, there's a lot of emotional decisions that come into designing and building a house. Yep. And we thought we might delve into that and how it can affect yourself, your relationships and...

[Frank] (1:00 - 1:02)

That's if you have a relationship at the end of it.

[Amelia] (1:02 - 1:04)

That's very true, yes.

[Frank] (1:05 - 1:08)

And I'm not joking about that, I've seen some go to pieces during the build.

[Amelia] (1:08 - 1:08)

Really?

[Frank] (1:09 - 1:09)

Yep.

[Amelia] (1:09 - 1:12)

And have you ever seen it during, you know...

[Frank] (1:12 - 1:13)

Designing?

[Amelia] (1:13 - 1:13)

Yes.

[Frank] (1:13 - 1:16)

I felt like I've been a marriage counsellor a number of times.

[Amelia] (1:17 - 1:17)

Wow.

[Frank] (1:17 - 1:19)

Like full on.

[Amelia] (1:19 - 1:20)

That must be really hard.

[Frank] (1:20 - 1:23)

Like shouting, like really, really awkward.

[Amelia] (1:23 - 1:33)

Wow. So, it's such a huge investment and emotional decision and not even the big things, even it can come down to the little things. 

[Frank] (1:33 - 2:00)

Oh yeah, 100%. You know, and that's where it can be really stressful. And your design side can be, but it's also when you have a vision of what you want as well. And if both parties, if you're lucky enough to have a partner and you'll be able to design a house or renovate or extend and some of those decisions don't always agree on.

To be fair, I've seen some pretty awful discussions when we're going through that design process and they don't agree. And they haven't even got to the build yet.

[Amelia] (2:01 - 2:01)

No.

[Frank] (2:02 - 2:04)

Or choosing colours or fixtures.

[Amelia] (2:04 - 2:04)

That's right.

[Frank] (2:04 - 2:17)

Or whatever. But most of the time it's great, you both agree, but there's usually one driving force. You know, one of the partners is the more driving force.

And that's fine. The thing about doing any of this, you've got to have a clear vision.

[Amelia] (2:18 - 2:18)

You do.

[Frank] (2:19 - 2:22)

Mind you, if you come into design and you haven't got a clear vision, it ain't going to be good.

[Amelia] (2:22 - 2:23)

No, that's right.

[Frank] (2:23 - 2:29)

And that's where it can get a bit stressful and resentful and stuff. But on the positive, it doesn't happen that often.

[Amelia] (2:29 - 2:30)

That's good.

[Frank] (2:30 - 2:33)

Because when you're about to drop a heap of money in it.

[Amelia] (2:33 - 2:35)

That's what I mean. It's such a huge investment.

[Frank] (2:36 - 3:23)

Oh, it's massive. So it can turn into a nightmare. And on so many different levels, and we're only going to touch on it for about five or six, that this emotional rollercoaster, you can go through it.

Other people, they love it. They're addicted to doing it. They keep coming back.

Hey, we've got another house. We've got another Renault to do. Let's do this.

And they just love it. 

[Amelia]

Yes. 

[Frank]

They just want to do the next one.

[Amelia]

Yes. 

[Frank]

And for some people, they'll never do it again in their life. 

[Amelia]

That's right.

[Frank]

So each to their own. And I believe it can be a wonderful process. It is a lot of work, whether you're just renovating, extending, doesn't matter how big it is, doing a whole new house or a full on Renault, as in you're ripping out everything out of the whole house and stripping it bare.

And you can turn it into something amazing.

[Amelia] (3:24 - 3:46)

Yes. And I mean, if you look at the other side of the scales as well, it's not just the relationship that you're in, like if you've got a partner, but it's the relationship that you have with your designer, with your builder. And if one of those goes a little bit pear-shaped, maybe they don't understand your vision, or there was some miscommunication about something, then that can turn the whole thing sour.

[Frank] (3:46 - 3:57)

It could be from as simple as, and I've said it before, where the homeowner has given a list of, hey, I've got all these appliances. They're a bargain. Can you please order them?

[Amelia] (3:57 - 3:58)

Mm-hmm.

[Frank] (3:58 - 4:00)

Builder forgets to order them, they miss out on the savings.

[Amelia] (4:01 - 4:01)

Oh, no.

[Frank] (4:02 - 4:04)

And when you come to kitchen appliances, that's a lot of money.

[Amelia] (4:04 - 4:05)

That is, yeah.

[Frank] (4:06 - 4:12)

And I had that happen to someone I know recently, and they were ropeable. It's cost them quite a bit.

[Amelia] (4:12 - 4:12)

Extra.

[Frank] (4:12 - 4:12)

Extra.

[Amelia] (4:13 - 4:13)

Yeah.

[Frank] (4:13 - 4:27)

Yeah. So it says a lot about getting stuff organized early. And it can be a real rollercoaster, all this, because you've got the thing of excitement, and you'll always have a level of overwhelm, especially if you've done it before.

You self-doubt your decisions.

[Amelia] (4:28 - 4:28)

Yes.

[Frank] (4:29 - 4:52)

Then you're frustrated with yourself, and then at the end of it, you're thinking, well, that wasn't so bad. And you're satisfied with the end result. It's when someone really stuffs up for you, i.e., you've explained some of the joy, but it all comes down to quality communication. And I'm not talking about verbal. It is actually writing it down, actually having a proper drawing so no mistakes can happen. Don't ever make instructions via verbal.

[Amelia] (4:52 - 4:53)

Yes.

[Frank] (4:53 - 4:58)

Be very clear. Sign off on stuff. And that shows the quality of the builder and all their sub-trades.

[Amelia] (4:59 - 5:01)

Oh, exactly, especially if there's things like variations.

[Frank] (5:01 - 5:19)

Well, the variation is probably done by yourself. Yes. Because you've changed something, but you didn't realise it was going to look that way.

Or you've changed the size of your oven. You've gone from a 600 to a 900. That affects the joinery massively.

Or you want an undermount sink as opposed to a top mount, and then it changes the whole top.

[Amelia] (5:19 - 5:19)

Yes.

[Frank] (5:20 - 5:41)

Or even, and I've seen this, where the joinery was all agreed. It was signed off on. Beautiful.

And then the lighting, which is all hanging pendants, yet the owner was not happy with the alignment of the pendants over the sink and the bench, and it wasn't centralised. The plumbing wasn't centralised, but they signed off on the joinery.

[Amelia] (5:41 - 5:41)

Yes.

[Frank] (5:42 - 5:47)

But they went back and said, no, you've got to change the tops and sink because everything's got to be symmetrical. They actually argued this.

[Amelia] (5:47 - 5:48)

Yes.

[Frank] (5:48 - 5:50)

Yet they already signed off on the joinery.

[Amelia] (5:50 - 5:51)

Oh, dear.

[Frank] (5:52 - 6:19)

I can tell you how that went. This is where people are not clear, and they don't understand that what happens on the ceiling can affect what happens on the joinery, on the floor, how things are laid out. So you've got to think in this big spatial way, spatial awareness of where the furniture's going, how the lighting works, the joinery.

And to be fair, they asked me to come and have a look at it, and I actually couldn't. It wasn't much.

[Amelia] (6:19 - 6:20)

Yes, okay.

[Frank] (6:20 - 6:21)

It was pretty OCD.

[Amelia] (6:21 - 6:22)

Yes, okay.

[Frank] (6:23 - 6:31)

But anyway, that person felt they were hard done by. Because it wasn't what they pictured. But we're only talking, it was only about 20, 25 millimetres.

[Amelia] (6:31 - 6:32)

Yes, okay.

[Frank] (6:32 - 6:34)

But it wasn't clear on the documents.

[Amelia] (6:35 - 6:35)

Okay.

[Frank] (6:36 - 7:23)

So the tradies did what they did and what was given, so you can't go crook at them. So this is why you've got to check these things thoroughly. You'll also, for some people, the decision, the whole process of making hundreds of decisions, so you go from design, paper, you may work with an interior designer, colours, and all the fixtures, and then work with the builder on site.

But most of the time, the builder has a clear process, orders joinery, electrical, plaster of fixtures, flooring, all that. Sometimes just like, and I've seen it with kitchen benches moved, you know, island benches moved slightly, you know, just to line stuff up. The problem is the flooring might have already been ordered, and it suits the tile layout, and then because they've moved it slightly, the tile layout doesn't work.

[Amelia] (7:24 - 7:24)

Yes.

[Frank] (7:24 - 7:29)

So it's always this knock on effect, and decision overloads. And this is where budgets go too.

[Amelia] (7:30 - 7:30)

Yes.

[Frank] (7:30 - 7:53)

Where you self-doubt and you change things, and talk about stress. Yeah, yes. So I believe budget is probably your biggest stress at the end of the day, because if you're on a tight budget and you haven't allowed for at least 15% to 20% contingency, and you check the details of your quotes, not provisional sums, you know, it's a fixed quote.

[Amelia] (7:53 - 7:54)

Yes.

[Frank] (7:54 - 8:04)

Then, you know, you can stick within your budget, but don't change stuff. Every time you change something, it takes twice to three times as much work for a builder or a sub-trader to change. So it's really expensive.

[Amelia] (8:04 - 8:05)

It is, yeah.

[Frank] (8:06 - 8:13)

That's why these things are designed to go in a flow. This is why renovations cost so much money, and extensions, because you're double, tripling handling sometimes.

[Amelia] (8:13 - 8:16)

Oh, exactly. And you don't know what you're going to find.

[Frank] (8:16 - 8:23)

Yeah. So when it comes to making decisions, you want to make them as early as possible and don't change.

[Amelia] (8:24 - 8:30)

And I would encourage everyone to ask questions early on if they're not sure of something.

[Frank] (8:30 - 9:02)

Totally. Don't think, oh, I can choose the window colours later, or I can choose this later and choose that later. You can't do it.

So, and that miscommunication component is massive, absolutely massive. So being very clear in documents, written documents, everyone's signed, everyone agrees. The other side of it too is this mental load of comparing yourself to stuff you see on social media, magazines, et cetera.

Quite a number of these things have larger budgets than the average punter has. Yes.

[Amelia] (9:03 - 9:04)

Even your reno shows and stuff.

[Frank] (9:05 - 9:05)

All that.

[Amelia] (9:05 - 9:06)

Yeah.

[Frank] (9:06 - 9:34)

And some of them are very unrealistic when it comes to timeframes of completing things, because if you rush things, if you think you can get a bathroom done in a week, sorry, the block, the planning that's involved, you look at the stress they're going through and trying to get stuff to dry and painted, I don't think that's the right way to do it. Bathrooms should be taking a lot longer than they show because mistakes happen, things don't dry properly. It's not a good finish.

Well, potentially not.

[Amelia] (9:34 - 9:34)

Yeah.

[Frank] (9:34 - 9:48)

You can have the best traders in the world, but they can only work at a certain pace to do a really quality job. But some of this could be some of the most stressful thing people ever do or make a wedding seem easy. 

[Amelia]

Yes.

[Frank]

Except having kids. Having kids for 18 years, that's stressful.

[Amelia] (9:49 - 9:50)

I reckon.

[Frank] (9:50 - 9:58)

Well, I'm at three, so it's still stressful. So then how do you cope with some of this?

[Amelia] (9:58 - 10:06)

That's a really good question. I would encourage everyone to, as you said, start asking questions early.

[Frank] (10:06 - 10:08)

And ask what you need to choose.

[Amelia] (10:09 - 10:25)

Yeah, understand the process, I think, too, because I think, and that's, I guess, one of the whole reasons we have this podcast is so that we can help people understand the process and what's involved because stress is a result of the unknown. Yes. In a lot of cases.

[Frank] (10:25 - 10:32)

And it could come from the decision fatigue, have I made the choice? The other thing is don't always listen to other people around you.

[Amelia] (10:32 - 10:45)

No, that's right. Someone influencing your decisions, maybe you want a particular window or benchtop or whatever because, you know, that's what you've decided. 

[Frank]

Yes.

[Amelia]

Why should you listen to somebody else?

[Frank] (10:46 - 10:57)

You can certainly ask for opinions if you value their opinion. But also you've got your own constraints inside you as well, whether it's budgetary, you've got a vision, the colour and whatnot. The other real stressful thing is timelines.

[Amelia] (10:57 - 10:59)

Yeah, yep, delays.

[Frank] (11:00 - 11:34)

Delays, like we as designers, we get delays going through the planning approval, we get delays through building, plumbing or something pops up that no one saw coming and that can be so frustrating and then a builder's got a delayed start. So, and working through that can be stressful for us as well. Yes.

But we understand we're trying to meet a certain deadline. I always have this saying coming up to the festive season, everyone wants a house for Christmas and literally have people wanting us to design a house for Christmas so they've got something to show at the family dinner.

[Amelia] (11:34 - 11:35)

Yes.

[Frank] (11:35 - 11:58)

Or they need a deck for Christmas so they can have their Christmas party on the deck. Yes. And you need to go through permits and all this type of stuff and in our world of regulatory red tape, and I don't care whatever government says, I'm reducing red tape, it's a load of horseshit.

Some clown behind a desk will come up with another great idea to make our job harder and that goes for every industry and everyone out there knows what I mean.

[Amelia] (11:58 - 11:58)

Yes.

[Frank] (11:58 - 12:07)

Every industry has got so much stupid ass red tape and it doesn't actually do a better job or protect anyone any better.

[Frank] (12:07 - 12:19)

And I mean, even if, you know, some of these clients wanted, you know, their deck or their extension by Christmas, our hands are tied. 

[Amelia]

Yes.

[Frank] (12:19 - 12:26)

Well, in Tasmania, we have statutory timeframes when it comes to planning and building approvals and the like.

[Amelia] (12:27 - 12:28)

Which is fantastic.

[Frank] (12:29 - 12:43)

Yes, but still, you know, planning approval is 42 days. It's still a lot of time. And that's if you meet all the requirements.

[Amelia]

Yes. 

[Frank]

And then building approvals are taking up to, you know, six weeks as well now, including all the plumbing approvals and everything in the process. So there you've got 12 weeks and no one's drawn anything yet.

[Amelia] (12:44 - 12:44)

Yes.

[Frank] (12:44 - 13:02)

So it makes it very difficult to meet certain timeframes. That's why you've got to plan well ahead. And we've got some clients that are very, very realistic and says, hey, I'm going to build in a year and a half.

Great. We can get that organised for you. That gives you plenty of time to make your choices to reduce your stress level.

So that time delay is a mega stress.

[Amelia] (13:02 - 13:03)

Yes.

[Frank] (13:03 - 13:06)

Especially if you put it on yourself.

[Amelia] (13:06 - 13:07)

That's exactly right.

[Frank] (13:08 - 13:42)

And a lot of this stuff can't be controlled. Decision fatigue is a classic because the endless choices you have to make, and we're doing it ourselves at the moment, me and my wife, with choices from lights, taps. Well, taps and tiles, that's all pretty easy.

But just lighting and just really minor things from, oh, we need another PowerPoint there. Oh, is there enough room to put the tap in for the new fridge? Because we want a fridge with water in it, filled with water.

And we realise there's a sliding door behind it. Is there enough room to put a tap in?

[Amelia] (13:42 - 13:43)

Well, that's a good point.

[Frank] (13:43 - 14:01)

Yeah. And it's one that I go, oh, wow. Or as I shared with you before, we're putting an HRV system, a heat recovery ventilation system through the house.

So that means I don't have to put an iXL 3-in-1 fan unit in the bathrooms. But what I realise, we don't have heat lamps in there now.

[Amelia] (14:02 - 14:02)

Yes.

[Frank] (14:02 - 14:06)

So now we're going to find a solution to putting heat lamps. Because everyone loves, in Tassie, we need heat lamps.

[Amelia] (14:06 - 14:07)

We do.

[Frank] (14:07 - 14:11)

And she's a little bit fresh during winter, and we like to be a little bit warm when we hop out of the shower.

[Amelia] (14:11 - 14:12)

Exactly.

[Frank] (14:13 - 14:21)

So there's endless amounts of decisions, even for your door handles, your hinges, mirrors. Are you going to have a backlit mirror? Are you going to have a sconce next to it?

[Amelia] (14:21 - 14:22)

Yes.

[Frank] (14:22 - 14:28)

Heated tower rails if you want, but where are the tower rails going? Is it too far away from your shower? All the decisions.

[Amelia] (14:28 - 14:40)

All the decisions. I guess some of the ways to help reduce the stress in that, there are ways you can, you know, you could incorporate interior design into your...

[Frank] (14:40 - 14:41)

Yeah, in your project.

[Amelia] (14:41 - 14:44)

..into your project, or you could look at project type homes.

[Frank] (14:44 - 14:46)

They've got some great stuff.

[Amelia] (14:46 - 14:52)

They have, you know, they have a set list that you can choose from, which I guess minimises the choice for you, which can be helpful.

[Frank] (14:52 - 15:12)

Especially like display homes are great to look at as well. Exactly. Because you can actually see it.

But a lot of it comes down to narrowing your options and your budgets too. And you're going back and forth a bit. We just went to Beacon the other day.

They're wonderful to deal with. You're just dealing with some great people as long as you're clear of what you want. But you've got to do your research.

And we talk about this on the podcast.

[Amelia] (15:12 - 15:12)

We do.

[Frank] (15:13 - 15:13)

All the time.

[Amelia] (15:13 - 15:14)

All the time.

[Frank] (15:14 - 15:30)

But there's heaps and heaps of research. Like I wanted to go for energy efficient hot water unit. And to be fair, you go on Google and that's not real helpful.

But I signed up to Choice magazine and they've just done a big test on all the different type of heat pump hot water units.

[Amelia] (15:30 - 15:31)

Yeah, right.

[Frank] (15:31 - 15:38)

And that will not direct comparison, but they gave you a lot of information on each brand so you can make a better informed decision. Worth every cent.

[Amelia] (15:38 - 15:44)

Well, that's what I mean. That knowledge is power and that can reduce your stress when you have that knowledge at your fingertips.

[Frank] (15:44 - 15:56)

I knew the one I wanted, but then you're able to do reviews on it and check each one and then you can do comparisons. And that was very helpful and I was able to make a decision on it. And you've got to give yourself time to do that.

[Amelia] (15:56 - 15:58)

Oh, definitely. Lots of time.

[Frank] (15:58 - 16:03)

Design disagreements. Now I'm talking about partners, family members.

[Amelia] (16:03 - 16:03)

Yes.

[Frank] (16:05 - 16:07)

Different tastes, different priorities.

[Amelia] (16:07 - 16:07)

Yes.

[Frank] (16:07 - 16:25)

You know? Some people are quite passionate about what they want. It could come down to your alfresco, what type of decking boards, what type of balustrades, you know?

How does it look? What are the colours? But there again, this is where an interior designer can be of great help.

[Amelia] (16:25 - 16:26)

Yes.

[Frank] (16:26 - 16:38)

And spending plenty of time on doing that because, again, I know me and my wife, we did not agree on everything on a few items, but we worked our way through it. We found solutions to it.

[Amelia] (16:38 - 16:40)

Yes. Maybe some compromises in there.

[Frank] (16:41 - 16:41)

Always is.

[Amelia] (16:41 - 16:42)

Yes.

[Frank] (16:42 - 16:46)

And that's fine. But you've got to give yourself the time, so it doesn't become a time stress.

[Amelia] (16:47 - 16:47)

That's right.

[Frank] (16:48 - 16:53)

So it's amazing how much stuff you've got to choose. It is really utterly amazing.

[Amelia] (16:53 - 17:07)

And for the average punter, it can be overwhelming. If, one, you don't understand the process, you don't understand what options are available and what each option even means, what are the benefits of X as opposed to Y, you know?

[Frank] (17:07 - 17:13)

Exactly. And then maybe you've made the wrong choice when you actually see it. Didn't think it was going to look like that.

[Amelia] (17:13 - 17:13)

Exactly.

[Frank] (17:14 - 17:42)

And that does happen, you know? I've seen it a bit. You know, it's not, oh, the window in the house, it's not what I imagined, which is pretty...

I haven't had a lot of that since we went to 3D modelling, I must say, because I've been in the game for a while where we used to do it all in 2D. But once we got the 3D going and we used Revit, we can model in so many different ways. You can stand from inside, outside, render it, and give the client a real clear vision of what it's going to look like and how it sits on the site too.

[Amelia] (17:42 - 17:44)

Yeah, that's definitely been a game changer.

[Frank] (17:44 - 18:17)

Yeah. And even to the point of where we work with our surveyors, and especially if they're trying to get a view over another house or whatnot, we can survey the houses around us and position the house at the right height. So then, you know, I want to get a view over that house in front of me.

OK, we meet. We can get within the height restrictions. We can actually show them on the model.

I've actually been to site too, where we've gone and I've used a drone and we set the heights from the ground and then we lift it up to the floor level and then up to standing height and show them the screen that says, this is what you're looking at.

[Amelia] (18:17 - 18:18)

Yes.

[Frank] (18:19 - 18:21)

Or what you're not looking at.

[Amelia] (18:21 - 18:21)

Yes.

[Frank] (18:21 - 18:36)

Because this is not as high as what you think it's going to be. And that's always good when you're making a better informed decision. So what about if you're renovating or someone's renovating for you and you've got to live in the dust, noise and disruption to your daily life?

[Amelia] (18:37 - 18:38)

That can be really stressful.

[Frank] (18:38 - 18:40)

Because they also take longer.

[Amelia] (18:40 - 18:41)

They do.

[Frank] (18:41 - 19:06)

You know, a lot of double handling. You know, the roof's open, they're going to put big tarps over it and changing this. Sometimes it's better to move out.

Subject to what type of reno and extension you're doing. This is working with your builder and how you may be able to stage. But you may not be able to afford to go out.

Maybe you're better off renting a caravan. Because getting a rental by no one outside the rest of the country, it's not great. But here in Launceston and Hobart, it is hopeless.

[Amelia] (19:06 - 19:07)

Yeah, it's challenging.

[Frank] (19:08 - 19:11)

You know, and if you only want it for six months, that's even worse.

[Amelia] (19:11 - 19:15)

Yeah, not many landlords would want just a six-month sign up.

[Frank] (19:15 - 19:24)

No, it's pretty rare. Another one, and this is probably the ugliest of the stress points, where you and the builder have a communication breakdown.

[Amelia] (19:24 - 19:25)

Yes.

[Frank] (19:25 - 20:08)

Oh, mate, I've seen some shockers with this. Absolutely awful. So, the misaligned expectations, you know, or lack of communication or not clear on the updates or lack of transparency is a big one.

And that's from both parties. Yes. I'm not laying on the builders or, you know, it's just everyone.

And all I can say is that you have agreed updates, so whether it's a weekly check-in or you can't just rock up to your building sites due to work health and safety, but I know a lot of people do, but something happens, the builder is 100% responsible for the site. So, you need to make appointments with the builder and make a clear look, can we catch up every week to have a look through? And it's not necessary to show your friends through.

[Amelia] (20:08 - 20:09)

No, that's right.

[Frank] (20:09 - 21:03)

So, then you need, a lot of the builders are getting much better software, management software, and they use project management tools and they send emails and updates with photos and all that on a regular basis. So, you're always informed what's going on, delays, whatever, is there a rain affected, is materials didn't turn up, you know, what are the levels of delays? But also, where I think the biggest communication breakdowns comes down to variations.

[Amelia]

Yes. 

[Frank]

So, the variations of changing your mind or the builder says, I'm sorry, it could be down to the quality of the drawings. We can't actually do this, but it's on the drawings.

You can't build this. And this might sound dumb me saying this, but this actually happens. 

[Amelia]

Really?

[Frank]

Yep. In my previous life in the engineering world, we used to have that and it can't be built. And the so-called designer architect keeps going with it and they're trying to deal with it on site. But then the builders is, well, I haven't priced this.

[Amelia] (21:04 - 21:05)

Yeah, that's true.

[Frank] (21:05 - 21:34)

I haven't priced to fix this. So, that is a real thing. Where that really comes through is when you do extensions and renos.

That's where you find, oh, I wasn't expecting someone did that in the roof. Yes. Didn't think they'd do that.

And you can't see some of this stuff. And that's just part of that. Builder would always have a level of contingency, budget contingency to deal with unknown.

[Amelia]

Yes. 

[Frank]

I'd recommend you document everything, email everything, emails as opposed to texting.

[Amelia] (21:34 - 21:35)

That's a good idea.

[Frank] (21:35 - 21:40)

Being very, very clear. And also your builder's not a mind reader, and neither are you.

[Amelia] (21:41 - 21:41)

That's right.

[Frank] (21:41 - 22:30)

So, just be clear. Clear communication is your strongest tool to ensure that reduced breakdowns. The builder is running a business.

He is a businessman at the end of the day, and he also has to conduct himself in a certain way to ensure the project runs smoothly. It's even more so when you're renoing and they're in your house. So, they turn up at six o'clock to do a concrete pour, and you're still in bed, and they didn't communicate that.

[Amelia]

Yes, yes. 

[Frank]

The concrete pump turns up, and all the neighbours are carrying on like idiots, and yeah, concrete pours are early. But also working with builders that are very sensitive and empathetic of working with renovations.

Fantastic. I've seen really well done ones, and meeting clients on site with the builders dealing with potential issues. Sometimes you need a break from the project.

[Amelia] (22:31 - 22:31)

Yes.

[Frank] (22:31 - 22:33)

Just walk away. Have a holiday. Have a weekend.

[Amelia] (22:34 - 22:36)

Yes. Put your plans in the drawer, maybe.

[Frank] (22:36 - 22:40)

Maybe. But what happens if you're in the middle of the build? I think you've still got to do that sometimes.

[Amelia] (22:40 - 22:40)

Yeah, true.

[Frank] (22:40 - 22:41)

And have a clear break.

[Amelia] (22:41 - 22:42)

Yeah.

[Frank] (22:42 - 22:57)

Because, you know, if you're fortunate enough to have kids, they feel all that too. They do. And if you're still trying to run a household with kids, school activities, social engagements, all the rest of it, and you've added all this into it, it gets very overwhelming.

[Amelia] (22:58 - 22:58)

It does.

[Frank] (22:59 - 23:11)

So, yeah, I think for managing a lot of this, you really need a good amount of time, patience, clarity, communication, and try and make it a joyful experience.

[Amelia] (23:11 - 23:18)

Definitely. And knowledge is power. So learn what you can and take the time to learn it.

[Frank] (23:18 - 23:29)

But also listen. Listen to the experts, what they're saying. You know, because sometimes what you want to do might be crazy expensive, and you think it looks simple.

[Amelia] (23:29 - 23:30)

Yes.

[Frank] (23:30 - 23:42)

Everyone I know in the building and game is generally incredibly helpful. All we have to do is ask. And, you know, will this idea work?

Can I do this? I want to do that. You know?

So you can certainly save yourself a lot of stress.

[Amelia] (23:42 - 23:53)

But I guess in saying that, a little bit of stress is normal. Of course. Especially if you're going into the unknown.

This is not something that you do every day of the week, generally for most people.

[Frank] (23:53 - 23:54)

Yes.

[Amelia] (23:54 - 24:00)

So I guess it's going in with the right mindset and then finding the right people to support you through that.

[Frank] (24:00 - 24:29)

Yeah, you make a really good point, finding the right people, the right designers, the right builders. You know? You get those two right and a lot of the stress is gone.

[Amelia]

Exactly. 

[Frank]

And if they're fair dinkum, they'll tell you the truth too with your budget. Budget ideas.

And we try, we do our utmost to be very truthful with people's budgets. And Wilson's like, we can't do it for that. We don't believe we can do your building for that amount of money unless you make some drastic changes.

[Amelia] (24:29 - 24:30)

Yes.

[Frank] (24:30 - 24:34)

And we've lost projects. People have gone elsewhere. But the thing is, it costs what it costs.

[Amelia] (24:34 - 24:36)

Yeah. Yes.

[Frank] (24:36 - 24:50)

We want to design buildings that people can build. There's no fun in designing something that they can't build or, you know, goes over budget because they keep making changes on site. There's no joy in this stuff.

[Amelia] (24:50 - 24:51)

Oh, no.

[Frank] (24:51 - 24:54)

And for a builder, they want to be proud of what they build.

[Amelia] (24:54 - 24:55)

Oh, exactly.

[Frank] (24:56 - 25:05)

But as we all run businesses, we've got to make a reasonable profit out of this as well, what is fair and reasonable. So this is where lots of preparation.

[Amelia] (25:05 - 25:11)

Oh, definitely. Definitely. Take your time. Find the experts. Ask questions if you need to.

[Frank] (25:11 - 25:12)

Yep. And document everything.

[Amelia] (25:13 - 25:19)

Yes. Well, great take-home points. We might wrap it up there, folks. Thanks for listening to the Building Design, Prime Time Podcast.

[Frank] (25:19 - 25:19)

Catch ya’s later.

[OUTRO] (25:29 - 25:32)

You're listening to the Building Design, Prime Time Podcast.