{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2.1,"endTime":4.2,"body":"All right,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2.1,"endTime":4.2,"body":"welcome into the mentor forge"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":4.2,"endTime":7.98,"body":"Podcast. I'm excited about my"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":4.2,"endTime":7.98,"body":"guests today, coming from"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":7.98,"endTime":12.75,"body":"Oregon, but man, he's a southern"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":7.98,"endTime":12.75,"body":"man at heart. I mean, he is from"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":12.75,"endTime":16.38,"body":"the lovely village on the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":12.75,"endTime":16.38,"body":"plains, he went to Auburn, like"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":16.38,"endTime":20.01,"body":"myself, so we have that in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":16.38,"endTime":20.01,"body":"common. It's funny how the world"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":20.01,"endTime":23.16,"body":"shrinks these days that, you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":20.01,"endTime":23.16,"body":"know, you know, we could"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":23.16,"endTime":26.37,"body":"probably pass each other a"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":23.16,"endTime":26.37,"body":"couple of times. But Marcus"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":26.37,"endTime":29.07,"body":"Farris, I'm excited to mark it."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":26.37,"endTime":29.07,"body":"He is the author of the book, no"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":29.07,"endTime":32.88,"body":"less faithful how the scars of"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":29.07,"endTime":32.88,"body":"divorce revealed the heart of"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":32.88,"endTime":37.17,"body":"God. Dang, that subtitle nails."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":32.88,"endTime":37.17,"body":"Yeah. So I'm looking forward to"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":37.17,"endTime":40.86,"body":"diving into that and hearing"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":37.17,"endTime":40.86,"body":"your story on that, Marcus. But,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":41.07,"endTime":43.35,"body":"man, it's great to have you in."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":41.07,"endTime":43.35,"body":"Hey, man,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":43.35,"endTime":45.27,"body":"appreciate it. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":43.35,"endTime":45.27,"body":"it's a pleasure to be here."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":45.36,"endTime":47.82,"body":"Yeah. So I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":45.36,"endTime":47.82,"body":"got to start with this because"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":48.09,"endTime":54.33,"body":"it I saw that you're an"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":48.09,"endTime":54.33,"body":"endurance athlete. And I would"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":54.33,"endTime":57.03,"body":"love for my audience who knows"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":54.33,"endTime":57.03,"body":"very little about and this is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":57.03,"endTime":59.73,"body":"something that's going on all"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":57.03,"endTime":59.73,"body":"around the world have"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":59.73,"endTime":62.67,"body":"championships in Europe, North"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":59.73,"endTime":62.67,"body":"America. And so I'd love to hear"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":63.18,"endTime":67.92,"body":"what yeah, what you what got you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":63.18,"endTime":67.92,"body":"into that. And what what is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":67.92,"endTime":68.25,"body":"that?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":69.12,"endTime":71.34,"body":"Yeah, so I think what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":69.12,"endTime":71.34,"body":"you're referring to is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":71.34,"endTime":74.67,"body":"hierarchs, which is a, an event"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":71.34,"endTime":74.67,"body":"that's called the World Series"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.67,"endTime":76.98,"body":"of fitness racing. And it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":74.67,"endTime":76.98,"body":"founded over in Germany in about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":76.98,"endTime":81.45,"body":"2018. I, when I was in college,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":76.98,"endTime":81.45,"body":"and late high school, I got into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":81.45,"endTime":83.49,"body":"distance running and running"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":81.45,"endTime":83.49,"body":"ultra marathons for a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":83.49,"endTime":86.61,"body":"while, and then transitioned"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":83.49,"endTime":86.61,"body":"over into triathlon, and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":86.61,"endTime":90.24,"body":"did some cycling races. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":86.61,"endTime":90.24,"body":"was doing CrossFit for about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":90.24,"endTime":94.56,"body":"last three years. And I, I found"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":90.24,"endTime":94.56,"body":"that for me, like I'm a very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":94.56,"endTime":97.41,"body":"competitive person at heart, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":94.56,"endTime":97.41,"body":"had a couple of pretty solid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":97.59,"endTime":100.41,"body":"race finishes. And there was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":97.59,"endTime":100.41,"body":"time where I wanted to race"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.41,"endTime":104.34,"body":"professionally in triathlon. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.41,"endTime":104.34,"body":"after about six or seven year,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":104.58,"endTime":108.87,"body":"seasons of that, I kind of got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":104.58,"endTime":108.87,"body":"to a point where I realized I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.9,"endTime":113.16,"body":"didn't really like swimming that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.9,"endTime":113.16,"body":"much to keep up that skill level"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":113.19,"endTime":117.63,"body":"to stay at that level of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":113.19,"endTime":117.63,"body":"competition. But I always kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":117.63,"endTime":122.01,"body":"of had a heart to figure out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":117.63,"endTime":122.01,"body":"what is that competitive venue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.04,"endTime":125.67,"body":"where I could compete with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.04,"endTime":125.67,"body":"best in the world, or at least"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":125.7,"endTime":127.71,"body":"the best that I could possibly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":125.7,"endTime":127.71,"body":"compete with, that ends up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":127.71,"endTime":130.68,"body":"being. And lo and behold, there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":127.71,"endTime":130.68,"body":"was this, there's this race"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":130.68,"endTime":134.13,"body":"series called High Rocks. Now, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":130.68,"endTime":134.13,"body":"was never like the fastest Ultra"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.13,"endTime":137.25,"body":"runner, right, you got the guys"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":134.13,"endTime":137.25,"body":"who are like, six, three, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":137.25,"endTime":140.64,"body":"140 pounds that just like fly up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":137.25,"endTime":140.64,"body":"mountainsides, and like that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.82,"endTime":144.75,"body":"I'm not gonna get there. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":140.82,"endTime":144.75,"body":"then, and then you also got the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.75,"endTime":149.19,"body":"CrossFitters, who are just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":144.75,"endTime":149.19,"body":"monsters at barbell work, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":149.19,"endTime":151.74,"body":"can, I can kind of hang with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":149.19,"endTime":151.74,"body":"them. And then I can kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.74,"endTime":155.52,"body":"hang with the ultra runners. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":151.74,"endTime":155.52,"body":"what I while I couldn't be any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.52,"endTime":158.25,"body":"individual one at their own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":155.52,"endTime":158.25,"body":"sport, I could beat the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":158.25,"endTime":159.9,"body":"CrossFitters at running and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":158.25,"endTime":159.9,"body":"could beat the runners,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.9,"endTime":163.23,"body":"CrossFit. And then hierarchs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":159.9,"endTime":163.23,"body":"comes along. And it's basically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.23,"endTime":166.83,"body":"like if a CrossFit hero WOD had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":163.23,"endTime":166.83,"body":"a baby with a 10k. It would be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":166.83,"endTime":171.63,"body":"this event. And so the way it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":166.83,"endTime":171.63,"body":"runs is it's eight kilometers of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":171.63,"endTime":174.33,"body":"running, which is about 4.8"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":171.63,"endTime":174.33,"body":"miles and you've got one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":174.33,"endTime":177.45,"body":"kilometer loops, and in between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":174.33,"endTime":177.45,"body":"each of the eight loops. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":177.45,"endTime":180.36,"body":"have a different functional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":177.45,"endTime":180.36,"body":"movement. So we're talking skier"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.36,"endTime":185.4,"body":"dog sled, push sled pull,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":180.36,"endTime":185.4,"body":"farmer's carry sandbag lunges,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":185.43,"endTime":190.08,"body":"wall balls, and burpee broad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":185.43,"endTime":190.08,"body":"jumps and, and row. There we go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":190.11,"endTime":193.5,"body":"Okay, so that's a Yeah, it's an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":190.11,"endTime":193.5,"body":"event that lasts roughly an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":193.5,"endTime":198.21,"body":"hour, a little over an hour, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":193.5,"endTime":198.21,"body":"world record is 54 minutes. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.21,"endTime":201.87,"body":"came in at a I did my first one."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":198.21,"endTime":201.87,"body":"I guess that'd be about a week"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":201.87,"endTime":204.6,"body":"and a half ago at Fort Worth."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":201.87,"endTime":204.6,"body":"And that one went really well."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.75,"endTime":208.2,"body":"It was a ton of fun. And I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":204.75,"endTime":208.2,"body":"be doing another one here in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":208.2,"endTime":211.59,"body":"few weeks in Anaheim. So that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":208.2,"endTime":211.59,"body":"how I rocks. Wow."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":212.01,"endTime":215.16,"body":"And it's is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":212.01,"endTime":215.16,"body":"it been one of those things? I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":215.16,"endTime":219.69,"body":"know there's a Tough Mudder in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":215.16,"endTime":219.69,"body":"the some other stuff that's like"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":219.72,"endTime":223.14,"body":"the Warrior Dash that came out"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":219.72,"endTime":223.14,"body":"as if they if they just kind of"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":223.14,"endTime":226.17,"body":"take it to another level from"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":223.14,"endTime":226.17,"body":"those or is this something"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":226.17,"endTime":227.28,"body":"completely separate?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":227.94,"endTime":230.16,"body":"It's kind of separate."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":227.94,"endTime":230.16,"body":"We're not really talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":230.16,"endTime":231.99,"body":"obstacles like you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":230.16,"endTime":231.99,"body":"throwing spears like you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.99,"endTime":234.03,"body":"wouldn't Spartan you're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":231.99,"endTime":234.03,"body":"crawling under barbed wire or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":234.03,"endTime":238.65,"body":"jumping over walls or anything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":234.03,"endTime":238.65,"body":"like that. It's yeah, it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":238.68,"endTime":242.91,"body":"fitness racing. Racing. Gotcha."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":238.68,"endTime":242.91,"body":"Yeah, that as you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":242.91,"endTime":247.65,"body":"necessarily have to have a ton"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":242.91,"endTime":247.65,"body":"of technical skill. So IE"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.68,"endTime":250.8,"body":"barbell lifting or javelin"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":247.68,"endTime":250.8,"body":"throw, or something like that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":250.8,"endTime":253.2,"body":"It's more like all of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":250.8,"endTime":253.2,"body":"movements are like anybody can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":253.2,"endTime":257.7,"body":"pick up a pair of a pair of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":253.2,"endTime":257.7,"body":"kettlebells and walk or, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":257.73,"endTime":261.03,"body":"the movements are ideally"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":257.73,"endTime":261.03,"body":"supposed to be as accommodating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.03,"endTime":263.58,"body":"to everyone as possible. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.03,"endTime":263.58,"body":"half of the race is basically is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.58,"endTime":266.85,"body":"running which one sport"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":263.58,"endTime":266.85,"body":"worldwide is more accessible"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":266.88,"endTime":269.52,"body":"than running? I realize not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":266.88,"endTime":269.52,"body":"everybody can but that's that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":269.52,"endTime":271.44,"body":"was sort of the idea at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":269.52,"endTime":271.44,"body":"heart of the event."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":271.769,"endTime":274.709,"body":"Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":271.769,"endTime":274.709,"body":"cool. And it sounds like you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":274.709,"endTime":279.389,"body":"have really leaned into that"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":274.709,"endTime":279.389,"body":"that you're you're desiring a"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":279.389,"endTime":282.299,"body":"higher performance level. So how"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":279.389,"endTime":282.299,"body":"comprehensive is that? Is that"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":282.299,"endTime":284.879,"body":"changed much of your diet"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":282.299,"endTime":284.879,"body":"changed much of your daily"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":284.879,"endTime":287.669,"body":"routine and, and really training"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":284.879,"endTime":287.669,"body":"for those events?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":288.24,"endTime":290.67,"body":"I would say it's more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":288.24,"endTime":290.67,"body":"of a slight modification in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.67,"endTime":294.75,"body":"way that I approach training. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":290.67,"endTime":294.75,"body":"I've been since gosh, probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":294.75,"endTime":298.47,"body":"17 years old. I've figured out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":294.75,"endTime":298.47,"body":"like oh endurance sports, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":298.47,"endTime":301.8,"body":"athleticism is a pretty fun"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":298.47,"endTime":301.8,"body":"thing. to do, there's another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":301.8,"endTime":305.19,"body":"story about how I kind of got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":301.8,"endTime":305.19,"body":"into it. But I've had something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.19,"endTime":308.52,"body":"like a, an appreciation of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":305.19,"endTime":308.52,"body":"process for quite some time. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.52,"endTime":312.33,"body":"I've had 10 competitive seasons"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":308.52,"endTime":312.33,"body":"of one sort or another before"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":312.33,"endTime":316.59,"body":"going into this. So in terms of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":312.33,"endTime":316.59,"body":"the importance I place on sleep,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.59,"endTime":320.04,"body":"nutrition, various lifestyle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":316.59,"endTime":320.04,"body":"factors that contribute to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":320.07,"endTime":322.56,"body":"overall performance, it's all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":320.07,"endTime":322.56,"body":"that's already for me had been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.56,"endTime":327.42,"body":"baked in for so long. It's like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":322.56,"endTime":327.42,"body":"sometimes, if you ever, I feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.42,"endTime":329.73,"body":"like if someone ever were to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":327.42,"endTime":329.73,"body":"tell me all day, and you're just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":329.73,"endTime":331.89,"body":"you're so disciplined with just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":329.73,"endTime":331.89,"body":"how often you work out and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.89,"endTime":334.29,"body":"getting up early in the morning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":331.89,"endTime":334.29,"body":"and getting after it. And here I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.29,"endTime":337.05,"body":"am thinking like, Do you realize"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":334.29,"endTime":337.05,"body":"what happens if I don't do that?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":337.08,"endTime":341.73,"body":"Like, my like, I just I start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":337.08,"endTime":341.73,"body":"hating life if my doesn't get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":341.73,"endTime":344.67,"body":"the requisite dose of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":341.73,"endTime":344.67,"body":"medications, and your dopamine"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":344.7,"endTime":346.17,"body":"and all that from exercise?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":346.8,"endTime":349.68,"body":"Gosh, that's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":346.8,"endTime":349.68,"body":"it. Yeah. That's a message in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":349.68,"endTime":354.27,"body":"itself right there. Just your"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":349.68,"endTime":354.27,"body":"sanity and how really God made"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":354.27,"endTime":359.07,"body":"us to move and do things and"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":354.27,"endTime":359.07,"body":"certain hormones to fire that"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":359.07,"endTime":362.79,"body":"creates that lead to other"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":359.07,"endTime":362.79,"body":"things and that we most of the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":362.79,"endTime":365.91,"body":"world we've missed because of"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":362.79,"endTime":365.91,"body":"first world convenience, right?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":368.4,"endTime":371.58,"body":"Yeah, so Marcus, I'd love to"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":368.4,"endTime":371.58,"body":"kind of hear more your story."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":371.58,"endTime":374.22,"body":"And you know, really what led to"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":371.58,"endTime":374.22,"body":"the book. But you know, first"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":374.22,"endTime":378.84,"body":"off, I mean, I know you, you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":374.22,"endTime":378.84,"body":"help veterans with mission 22."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":378.99,"endTime":381.48,"body":"Y'all could check out more than"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":378.99,"endTime":381.48,"body":"a mission twenty.com I mean,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":381.48,"endTime":385.11,"body":"it's really great, what Marcus"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":381.48,"endTime":385.11,"body":"is doing help out veterans, but"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":385.11,"endTime":387.18,"body":"you're a veteran and yourself."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":385.11,"endTime":387.18,"body":"And so I love what, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":387.18,"endTime":391.11,"body":"what initially got you into the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":387.18,"endTime":391.11,"body":"ROTC and then then eventually"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":391.11,"endTime":392.76,"body":"led you to, you know, to joining"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":391.11,"endTime":392.76,"body":"the army."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.48,"endTime":395.91,"body":"Yeah, that's, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":393.48,"endTime":395.91,"body":"let's see, if we rewind the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":395.91,"endTime":399.99,"body":"clock back to my junior year of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":395.91,"endTime":399.99,"body":"high school. I had just moved"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":399.99,"endTime":402.69,"body":"back from London after having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":399.99,"endTime":402.69,"body":"been there for two years for my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.69,"endTime":406.26,"body":"dad got this job opportunity."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":402.69,"endTime":406.26,"body":"And we went over there. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":406.47,"endTime":410.28,"body":"while I was there, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":406.47,"endTime":410.28,"body":"being 1516 years old, I was as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":411.06,"endTime":414.36,"body":"socially awkward as humanly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":411.06,"endTime":414.36,"body":"possible. The observer might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.48,"endTime":417.03,"body":"have labeled me somewhere on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.48,"endTime":417.03,"body":"autistic spectrum just because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":417.03,"endTime":420.72,"body":"of how let's just say it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":417.03,"endTime":420.72,"body":"hard for me to make friends. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":420.72,"endTime":423.24,"body":"what I would for some reason I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":420.72,"endTime":423.24,"body":"kept wearing like camo pants to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":423.24,"endTime":426.84,"body":"school. I don't know why it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":423.24,"endTime":426.84,"body":"just the little boy in me who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.84,"endTime":430.41,"body":"wanted to go off and do things."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":426.84,"endTime":430.41,"body":"And then I moved to Huntsville,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.41,"endTime":435.93,"body":"Alabama, in 2006, and discovered"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":430.41,"endTime":435.93,"body":"the Junior ROTC program there."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":435.93,"endTime":440.16,"body":"And they had what was called the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":435.93,"endTime":440.16,"body":"The Raider Challenge team or we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.16,"endTime":443.55,"body":"called it locally the military"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":440.16,"endTime":443.55,"body":"skills team and that I saw one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.58,"endTime":446.67,"body":"sort of, I guess, promotion"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":443.58,"endTime":446.67,"body":"video for it, and saw these kids"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":446.67,"endTime":450.06,"body":"out in the woods wearing their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":446.67,"endTime":450.06,"body":"camo and, and, you know, Holon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":450.12,"endTime":452.76,"body":"ammo cans around and jumping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":450.12,"endTime":452.76,"body":"over obstacles. And immediately"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.76,"endTime":458.31,"body":"I was like, yes, that's for me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":452.76,"endTime":458.31,"body":"It's interesting. Are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":458.31,"endTime":460.74,"body":"wonder, like, do we pick our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":458.31,"endTime":460.74,"body":"interests? Or do our interests"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.74,"endTime":463.71,"body":"pick us? And so I sort of I saw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.74,"endTime":463.71,"body":"that and it resonated"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":463.74,"endTime":466.59,"body":"immediately. And it was like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":463.74,"endTime":466.59,"body":"yep, that's, that's the thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":466.65,"endTime":470.46,"body":"And from high school, I applied"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":466.65,"endTime":470.46,"body":"for an ROTC scholarship at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":470.46,"endTime":473.16,"body":"Auburn because almost all of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":470.46,"endTime":473.16,"body":"family had been there. I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":473.19,"endTime":475.14,"body":"other family members who had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":473.19,"endTime":475.14,"body":"been in the military and it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":475.14,"endTime":478.53,"body":"just it seemed like a natural"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":475.14,"endTime":478.53,"body":"progression for me. So I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.65,"endTime":481.53,"body":"ROTC at Auburn for a little over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.65,"endTime":481.53,"body":"four years, got an engineer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.53,"endTime":484.92,"body":"degree headed off to Fort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":481.53,"endTime":484.92,"body":"Leonard Wood for my engineer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":484.92,"endTime":487.23,"body":"basic course. And then they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":484.92,"endTime":487.23,"body":"shipped me off to Alaska, where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.23,"endTime":492.15,"body":"I was stationed between jayber"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":487.23,"endTime":492.15,"body":"which is an installation in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":492.78,"endTime":495.63,"body":"Anchorage and then I was up at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":492.78,"endTime":495.63,"body":"Fort Wainwright and Fairbanks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.63,"endTime":498.69,"body":"for another two years, doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":495.63,"endTime":498.69,"body":"active duty Army stuff. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":498.69,"endTime":499.68,"body":"now I'm in the reserves."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":500.31,"endTime":503.28,"body":"Wow. So I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":500.31,"endTime":503.28,"body":"heard you serve a little bit in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":503.28,"endTime":504.0,"body":"Alaska."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":504.509,"endTime":507.569,"body":"That's right. Yep. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":504.509,"endTime":507.569,"body":"was an airborne unit in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":507.569,"endTime":511.289,"body":"Anchorage for a little while at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":507.569,"endTime":511.289,"body":"Fort Richardson and then got an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":511.289,"endTime":515.129,"body":"assignment up at Fort Wainwright"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":511.289,"endTime":515.129,"body":"as a contracting officers"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":515.129,"endTime":517.409,"body":"representative with the Corps of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":515.129,"endTime":517.409,"body":"Engineers. So it was a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.469,"endTime":520.079,"body":"breadth of experience of what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.469,"endTime":520.079,"body":"all the Army's up to."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":520.38,"endTime":524.49,"body":"Yeah. I had a"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":520.38,"endTime":524.49,"body":"being in Alaska, man. I imagine"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":524.49,"endTime":532.38,"body":"that was quite the experience."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":524.49,"endTime":532.38,"body":"Sorry. Yeah. So you know, what,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":532.38,"endTime":536.52,"body":"really? Being in the military,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":532.38,"endTime":536.52,"body":"you know, I imagine and then"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":536.52,"endTime":539.25,"body":"leaving the military, what what"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":536.52,"endTime":539.25,"body":"made you want to start serving"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":539.25,"endTime":540.57,"body":"veterans that are coming out?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.56,"endTime":544.86,"body":"Yeah, I would say it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":541.56,"endTime":544.86,"body":"kind of got its origins in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.86,"endTime":548.07,"body":"time doing some work with the US"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.86,"endTime":548.07,"body":"military endurance sports team,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.22,"endTime":552.9,"body":"which is a nother nonprofit that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":548.22,"endTime":552.9,"body":"basically aids veterans active"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":552.9,"endTime":556.35,"body":"duty or otherwise, get into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":552.9,"endTime":556.35,"body":"endurance sports with a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":556.41,"endTime":559.11,"body":"lower bar to entry. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":556.41,"endTime":559.11,"body":"triathlon, for example, is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.11,"endTime":562.95,"body":"very expensive sport, so a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.11,"endTime":562.95,"body":"cycling and that the charter of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":562.95,"endTime":567.45,"body":"that company was to facilitate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":562.95,"endTime":567.45,"body":"that process and make discounts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.45,"endTime":571.53,"body":"available, make training camps"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.45,"endTime":571.53,"body":"available. And I, after a couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":571.53,"endTime":574.8,"body":"of years of being on that team,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":571.53,"endTime":574.8,"body":"became their triathlon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":574.8,"endTime":578.28,"body":"coordinator. And so I got to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":574.8,"endTime":578.28,"body":"basically assist with major"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.28,"endTime":582.36,"body":"focus events around the world"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":578.28,"endTime":582.36,"body":"around the United States. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.57,"endTime":585.54,"body":"that like really spoke to me it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.57,"endTime":585.54,"body":"was like, here I am being able"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.54,"endTime":587.76,"body":"to combine two things that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.54,"endTime":587.76,"body":"really love and I'm good at."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.91,"endTime":591.42,"body":"There's that Japanese concept of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.91,"endTime":591.42,"body":"E key guy where it's like, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.42,"endTime":593.19,"body":"are you good at? What does the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.42,"endTime":593.19,"body":"world need and what can you make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":593.19,"endTime":595.59,"body":"money doing and I had to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":593.19,"endTime":595.59,"body":"those three down with US"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.59,"endTime":599.43,"body":"military endurance sports team,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.59,"endTime":599.43,"body":"so the world needed help with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":599.43,"endTime":603.54,"body":"veterans get into triathlon. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":599.43,"endTime":603.54,"body":"really love that sport and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":603.54,"endTime":606.75,"body":"particular demographic, but it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":603.54,"endTime":606.75,"body":"wasn't paying the bills. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.77,"endTime":610.53,"body":"while my career progressed in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.77,"endTime":610.53,"body":"way that maybe we'll talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.53,"endTime":613.23,"body":"this a little bit more, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.53,"endTime":613.23,"body":"got to a point where I found"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.23,"endTime":616.05,"body":"mission 22, which does a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.23,"endTime":616.05,"body":"work with veterans in the mental"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.05,"endTime":621.42,"body":"health space, looking at a far"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.05,"endTime":621.42,"body":"more ecological approach to care"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.42,"endTime":624.57,"body":"after post traumatic stress or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":621.42,"endTime":624.57,"body":"after combat trauma or after"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.57,"endTime":629.07,"body":"moral injury. And that all it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.57,"endTime":629.07,"body":"all just sort of dovetailed into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.07,"endTime":632.64,"body":"this one collective thing, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.07,"endTime":632.64,"body":"And what ended up happening was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.64,"endTime":635.31,"body":"like, I went from getting an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.64,"endTime":635.31,"body":"engineering degree at Auburn to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.31,"endTime":637.8,"body":"now I'm pursuing a Master's in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.31,"endTime":637.8,"body":"Counseling, which are sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.8,"endTime":641.31,"body":"two ends of the spectrum in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":637.8,"endTime":641.31,"body":"terms of, you know, one's career"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.31,"endTime":644.37,"body":"trajectory. So what's happened?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.31,"endTime":644.37,"body":"Now the I have to fit that as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.37,"endTime":647.22,"body":"another thing, but I'm still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":644.37,"endTime":647.22,"body":"exploring, but at any rate,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.25,"endTime":650.55,"body":"that's where I am now. And to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.25,"endTime":650.55,"body":"able to sort of integrate all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.55,"endTime":652.05,"body":"these things has been pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.55,"endTime":652.05,"body":"phenomenal."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":652.829,"endTime":655.469,"body":"That is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":652.829,"endTime":655.469,"body":"really, really cool. Just, that"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":655.469,"endTime":659.579,"body":"is a pretty, I mean, engineers,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":655.469,"endTime":659.579,"body":"pretty black and white. You"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":659.579,"endTime":662.819,"body":"know, this works that versus me,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":659.579,"endTime":662.819,"body":"as a counselor, you're, you're"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":662.819,"endTime":666.179,"body":"embracing a lot of nuance and"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":662.819,"endTime":666.179,"body":"human beings that are"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":666.179,"endTime":673.139,"body":"complicated. And, and that's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":666.179,"endTime":673.139,"body":"fascinating. And I'm still I'm"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":673.139,"endTime":675.569,"body":"still trying to get over sinus"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":673.139,"endTime":675.569,"body":"infection. So excuse me, I'm"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":675.569,"endTime":681.269,"body":"still going a little drainage."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":675.569,"endTime":681.269,"body":"As you I'm sure you don't miss"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":681.269,"endTime":684.779,"body":"any of the pollen down south"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":681.269,"endTime":684.779,"body":"right now, because it's it's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":684.779,"endTime":690.209,"body":"pretty bad. But yeah, so I mean,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":684.779,"endTime":690.209,"body":"so you lived in in Europe, you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":690.209,"endTime":694.469,"body":"went to Auburn been in military"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":690.209,"endTime":694.469,"body":"kind of engineering background?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":695.039,"endTime":697.799,"body":"I'm curious. Just what's your"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":695.039,"endTime":697.799,"body":"faith background is where was"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":697.799,"endTime":700.679,"body":"God and what your relationship"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":697.799,"endTime":700.679,"body":"with God admits that? Did you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":700.679,"endTime":703.049,"body":"grow up in a Christian home? Did"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":700.679,"endTime":703.049,"body":"you become a Christian later?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":703.049,"endTime":705.869,"body":"What was? How was God part of"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":703.049,"endTime":705.869,"body":"your story?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.039,"endTime":710.009,"body":"I grew up in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":707.039,"endTime":710.009,"body":"Christian home from from birth"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":710.009,"endTime":713.249,"body":"my family was they had their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":710.009,"endTime":713.249,"body":"roots in Southern Baptist,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":713.879,"endTime":717.209,"body":"Southern baptism. Is that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":713.879,"endTime":717.209,"body":"right way? Yeah, there we go."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.719,"endTime":720.929,"body":"That is, um, although I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.719,"endTime":720.929,"body":"baptized in the south. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":720.929,"endTime":726.359,"body":"anyway, I've pretty much since I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":720.929,"endTime":726.359,"body":"was like, three, I had some type"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":726.359,"endTime":729.329,"body":"type of orientation toward God."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":726.359,"endTime":729.329,"body":"And I really don't know a time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":729.329,"endTime":733.169,"body":"in my life where that wasn't a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":729.329,"endTime":733.169,"body":"part of who I was. Although in,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":733.199,"endTime":735.449,"body":"I kind of elaborate on this in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":733.199,"endTime":735.449,"body":"the book there, there definitely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.449,"endTime":739.019,"body":"was a point where I had to come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":735.449,"endTime":739.019,"body":"face to face with something that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":739.019,"endTime":741.929,"body":"was happening in my reality"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":739.019,"endTime":741.929,"body":"against a worldview that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.959,"endTime":746.909,"body":"thought was fully explanatory of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.959,"endTime":746.909,"body":"how humans behaved. And when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":746.909,"endTime":749.999,"body":"those two things come together,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":746.909,"endTime":749.999,"body":"and they're in opposition to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.999,"endTime":752.369,"body":"each other, that's when somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.999,"endTime":752.369,"body":"experiences a moral injury. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.369,"endTime":755.999,"body":"so I had over the course of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.369,"endTime":755.999,"body":"about a year and a half a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.999,"endTime":760.169,"body":"process of just like re"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":755.999,"endTime":760.169,"body":"orienting myself to how it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.289,"endTime":763.679,"body":"that Christians operate in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.289,"endTime":763.679,"body":"world, deeper meanings of what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.279,"endTime":766.739,"body":"we're told in the church and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.279,"endTime":766.739,"body":"maybe take for granted to to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.739,"endTime":771.599,"body":"degree. We can explore any one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":766.739,"endTime":771.599,"body":"of these things, but it was, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.599,"endTime":775.229,"body":"proved to be a net positive, by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.599,"endTime":775.229,"body":"a longshot of my understanding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.229,"endTime":779.669,"body":"of how it is exactly that Christ"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.229,"endTime":779.669,"body":"works and such a broken world"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":779.669,"endTime":784.319,"body":"and how someone who is sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":779.669,"endTime":784.319,"body":"the pure, spotless lamb can take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.319,"endTime":787.949,"body":"on filth, right, the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.319,"endTime":787.949,"body":"crossing over of the innocent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.949,"endTime":790.499,"body":"child with the filth of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.949,"endTime":790.499,"body":"world, and I kind of experienced"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.499,"endTime":794.549,"body":"that story firsthand. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.499,"endTime":794.549,"body":"can that can do a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":794.549,"endTime":799.079,"body":"in because you take for granted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":794.549,"endTime":799.079,"body":"how it is that when Christ says"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.079,"endTime":801.089,"body":"you will have suffering in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.079,"endTime":801.089,"body":"world, it's like, bro, until"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.089,"endTime":803.219,"body":"you're there, you just don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.089,"endTime":803.219,"body":"understand what that means."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":804.78,"endTime":806.94,"body":"Yeah, so I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":804.78,"endTime":806.94,"body":"guess that's a good transition."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":808.14,"endTime":810.96,"body":"You know, I would love to hear"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":808.14,"endTime":810.96,"body":"just the origins of the book,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":810.96,"endTime":816.33,"body":"which you can buy now on Amazon."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":810.96,"endTime":816.33,"body":"No less faithful. Yeah, what?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":816.33,"endTime":819.63,"body":"Yeah, what I would love just"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":816.33,"endTime":819.63,"body":"kind of get, you know, how you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":819.63,"endTime":823.08,"body":"and your wife, your ex wife met"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":819.63,"endTime":823.08,"body":"and how the relationship"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":823.08,"endTime":827.22,"body":"transgressed and what led to the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":823.08,"endTime":827.22,"body":"divorce? And, yeah, and then and"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":827.22,"endTime":831.12,"body":"we'll obviously I love to hear,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":827.22,"endTime":831.12,"body":"you know, why you felt it was"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":831.12,"endTime":832.89,"body":"great to write a book on it. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.539,"endTime":837.809,"body":"yeah, I guess in in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.539,"endTime":837.809,"body":"college, I had always had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.809,"endTime":842.699,"body":"trouble, like, finding dates."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.809,"endTime":842.699,"body":"And with you know, I was never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.699,"endTime":845.339,"body":"in any kind of serious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":842.699,"endTime":845.339,"body":"relationship in college, or even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.339,"endTime":849.239,"body":"casual relationship for that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.339,"endTime":849.239,"body":"matter. And that that kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.239,"endTime":851.789,"body":"weighed on me a lot. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.239,"endTime":851.789,"body":"started to develop this sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.789,"endTime":855.149,"body":"voice that just kept reminding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.789,"endTime":855.149,"body":"me like, Look, your track record"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.149,"endTime":857.429,"body":"is terrible. Women are not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":855.149,"endTime":857.429,"body":"interested in you get over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.429,"endTime":860.879,"body":"yourself, this and that. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.429,"endTime":860.879,"body":"was it was pretty distressing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.879,"endTime":863.969,"body":"for a little while there. We're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":860.879,"endTime":863.969,"body":"talking like early 20s. When I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.969,"endTime":869.669,"body":"moved to Alaska, I was about 23."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.969,"endTime":869.669,"body":"And I kind of I finally was I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.669,"endTime":871.799,"body":"felt like I was able to sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":869.669,"endTime":871.799,"body":"come to terms with like, look,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.799,"endTime":875.069,"body":"this is not the truth. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":871.799,"endTime":875.069,"body":"not who you are. You need to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.069,"endTime":877.199,"body":"that voice of despair out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.069,"endTime":877.199,"body":"your head, like in Christ's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.199,"endTime":882.119,"body":"name, leave. And after that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":877.199,"endTime":882.119,"body":"experience. Within a month, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.119,"endTime":885.419,"body":"met this girl at a triathlon and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.119,"endTime":885.419,"body":"I just felt like, wow, okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.419,"endTime":888.539,"body":"cool. Things are lining up. Like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.419,"endTime":888.539,"body":"I've sort of shrugged that off."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.079,"endTime":891.509,"body":"Here's this new, exciting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":889.079,"endTime":891.509,"body":"person. She's actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.509,"endTime":896.369,"body":"interested in me, this is great."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.509,"endTime":896.369,"body":"And the relationship kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.369,"endTime":899.969,"body":"went from there. And there were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.369,"endTime":899.969,"body":"a couple of early warning signs."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":899.999,"endTime":902.519,"body":"but I just didn't have the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":899.999,"endTime":902.519,"body":"wherewithal to take them as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.519,"endTime":905.429,"body":"seriously as I should have."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.519,"endTime":905.429,"body":"Because here I was having never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.459,"endTime":908.429,"body":"really experienced the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":905.459,"endTime":908.429,"body":"excitement of meeting someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.459,"endTime":912.929,"body":"for the first time and being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":908.459,"endTime":912.929,"body":"all, you know, just beady eyed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.929,"endTime":916.109,"body":"for them. And I kind of ran with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.929,"endTime":916.109,"body":"it. I was like, This is great."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.619,"endTime":918.719,"body":"Yeah, these warning signs, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.619,"endTime":918.719,"body":"we'll figure it out, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":918.719,"endTime":922.859,"body":"God makes all things new. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":918.719,"endTime":922.859,"body":"then even the, after the wedding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":922.859,"endTime":926.879,"body":"ceremony, there were some, let's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":922.859,"endTime":926.879,"body":"say, signs, where I just sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.879,"endTime":929.039,"body":"it was just like, this is all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.879,"endTime":929.039,"body":"lining up, this is gonna be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.039,"endTime":933.269,"body":"great. Again, there were warning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.039,"endTime":933.269,"body":"signs even up to that point. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.959,"endTime":936.479,"body":"it was like, Well, I guess God's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.959,"endTime":936.479,"body":"making anything out of this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.509,"endTime":939.929,"body":"this will be cool. Like to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.509,"endTime":939.929,"body":"point where the sort of signs"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.929,"endTime":942.869,"body":"that I'm talking about were so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":939.929,"endTime":942.869,"body":"specific, it was like I'm being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":942.869,"endTime":946.889,"body":"seen right now. And this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":942.869,"endTime":946.889,"body":"we're gonna be good. And we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.889,"endTime":950.699,"body":"weren't so about, I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":946.889,"endTime":950.699,"body":"three and a half, four years"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.699,"endTime":953.939,"body":"later, was when things started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.699,"endTime":953.939,"body":"to deteriorate, where she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.939,"endTime":959.429,"body":"basically recognize that she had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.939,"endTime":959.429,"body":"a pattern of, well, what you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":959.429,"endTime":961.739,"body":"would consider a codependent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":959.429,"endTime":961.739,"body":"personality disorder. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":961.739,"endTime":964.799,"body":"what is that that's basically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":961.739,"endTime":964.799,"body":"it's a description of someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.799,"endTime":967.439,"body":"who outsources their personality"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.799,"endTime":967.439,"body":"to whoever they're with. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.469,"endTime":971.549,"body":"they basically, are serial"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.469,"endTime":971.549,"body":"relationship jumpers, where it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.549,"endTime":973.529,"body":"like, I'm not going to deal with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":971.549,"endTime":973.529,"body":"my own stuff, I will just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":973.679,"endTime":977.759,"body":"acquiesce to the next person in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":973.679,"endTime":977.759,"body":"line. And awareness of that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.759,"endTime":979.889,"body":"certainly didn't, because I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":977.759,"endTime":979.889,"body":"just sort of naive and how all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":979.889,"endTime":983.399,"body":"these things operated. Again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":979.889,"endTime":983.399,"body":"like my low resolution worldview"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.399,"endTime":986.849,"body":"did not account for the fact"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.399,"endTime":986.849,"body":"that people can go from behaving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.849,"endTime":989.339,"body":"in one way and then realizing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.849,"endTime":989.339,"body":"it's a facade and then behaving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.339,"endTime":993.719,"body":"in a totally different way, very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.339,"endTime":993.719,"body":"quickly. And my curiosity of how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.719,"endTime":996.449,"body":"it is that that progressed, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":993.719,"endTime":996.449,"body":"got me into counseling in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.449,"endTime":1002.749,"body":"first place. So I learned that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.449,"endTime":1002.749,"body":"she had committed adultery at a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1002.749,"endTime":1006.649,"body":"point where, let's just say I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1002.749,"endTime":1006.649,"body":"was not at all ready to hear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.649,"endTime":1008.989,"body":"that. And I knew that there were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.649,"endTime":1008.989,"body":"some things that were kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.989,"endTime":1013.339,"body":"going downhill, but that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1008.989,"endTime":1013.339,"body":"revelation about Debian. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.369,"endTime":1016.339,"body":"the way I was trying to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.369,"endTime":1016.339,"body":"sense of it was just to write,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1016.429,"endTime":1019.699,"body":"that's kind of my default, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1016.429,"endTime":1019.699,"body":"don't paint I don't draw, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1019.699,"endTime":1023.089,"body":"write. And so I just started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1019.699,"endTime":1023.089,"body":"writing and writing and try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.089,"endTime":1027.049,"body":"making making sense of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.089,"endTime":1027.049,"body":"stuff. And after a little while,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.049,"endTime":1029.209,"body":"I kind of got to the point in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.049,"endTime":1029.209,"body":"manuscript, where it was like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.209,"endTime":1032.749,"body":"this is, I remember looking up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.209,"endTime":1032.749,"body":"on Google, like how many words"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.779,"endTime":1035.509,"body":"is a book, and then I did a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1032.779,"endTime":1035.509,"body":"little word count on my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.539,"endTime":1039.259,"body":"manuscript, I was like, Oh, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.539,"endTime":1039.259,"body":"is not that far from a book. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.769,"endTime":1042.229,"body":"I talked to one of my mentors at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.769,"endTime":1042.229,"body":"the time, actually the CEO of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.259,"endTime":1044.629,"body":"mission 20 today, and he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1042.259,"endTime":1044.629,"body":"encouraged me like, you should"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.689,"endTime":1050.659,"body":"look into publishing this. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.689,"endTime":1050.659,"body":"so I got to a point where I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.659,"endTime":1053.239,"body":"start doing some research on it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1050.659,"endTime":1053.239,"body":"And lo and behold, one of my old"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.239,"endTime":1058.129,"body":"friends from Anchorage, that was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.239,"endTime":1058.129,"body":"in a small group there is now a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.819,"endTime":1061.099,"body":"J owns a business for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.819,"endTime":1061.099,"body":"publishing. And so she basically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1061.099,"endTime":1064.369,"body":"had all the resources for me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1061.099,"endTime":1064.369,"body":"she helped me edit, and I went"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.369,"endTime":1068.329,"body":"for it. And it just as during"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.369,"endTime":1068.329,"body":"that, so I was separated for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1068.359,"endTime":1071.269,"body":"about a year and a half, in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1068.359,"endTime":1071.269,"body":"hopes that God would restore and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1071.269,"endTime":1074.389,"body":"God would make all things new."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1071.269,"endTime":1074.389,"body":"And it's great that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.929,"endTime":1077.209,"body":"there are all these other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1074.929,"endTime":1077.209,"body":"stories in the church of people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.209,"endTime":1079.669,"body":"who commit adultery, and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1077.209,"endTime":1079.669,"body":"the relationships actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1079.669,"endTime":1084.049,"body":"stronger as a result. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1079.669,"endTime":1084.049,"body":"believing for all of this stuff."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.069,"endTime":1088.429,"body":"Despite all of the evidence to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.069,"endTime":1088.429,"body":"the contrary, that that was not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1088.429,"endTime":1090.559,"body":"going to happen. And I had a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1088.429,"endTime":1090.559,"body":"hard time accepting that I had a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1090.559,"endTime":1093.619,"body":"seriously hard time accepting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1090.559,"endTime":1093.619,"body":"that. And the book was kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.619,"endTime":1097.939,"body":"the this way of putting all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.619,"endTime":1097.939,"body":"that to rest. And I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.939,"endTime":1101.359,"body":"discovered that in that whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.939,"endTime":1101.359,"body":"process, that story, that type"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1101.359,"endTime":1104.929,"body":"of story, a is not uncommon for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1101.359,"endTime":1104.929,"body":"a young Christian male to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.929,"endTime":1107.719,"body":"experience, someone betraying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.929,"endTime":1107.719,"body":"them out of nowhere, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1107.719,"endTime":1110.959,"body":"seemingly out of nowhere,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1107.719,"endTime":1110.959,"body":"anyway. And B, there was just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.259,"endTime":1114.559,"body":"not a whole lot of stuff out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1111.259,"endTime":1114.559,"body":"there to assist and tell that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.559,"endTime":1119.209,"body":"story. And I found a couple of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.559,"endTime":1119.209,"body":"relationship books and how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1119.239,"endTime":1122.629,"body":"Christians deal with divorce and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1119.239,"endTime":1122.629,"body":"so on and so forth, that were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.629,"endTime":1126.379,"body":"sort of limited in their scope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1122.629,"endTime":1126.379,"body":"of usefulness. But there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1126.379,"endTime":1128.869,"body":"nothing specific to what I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1126.379,"endTime":1128.869,"body":"going through. So I wrote this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.869,"endTime":1134.629,"body":"book as a way to talk to myself."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1128.869,"endTime":1134.629,"body":"And, man, I'll tell you what,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.629,"endTime":1138.499,"body":"like that. There was there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1134.629,"endTime":1138.499,"body":"section in there where I talked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1138.499,"endTime":1140.899,"body":"about how do you know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1138.499,"endTime":1140.899,"body":"individually, you've sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.899,"endTime":1144.949,"body":"recovered from that whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.899,"endTime":1144.949,"body":"betrayal process. And it's, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.949,"endTime":1148.369,"body":"conclusion was that you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.949,"endTime":1148.369,"body":"resent other people's marriages."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.819,"endTime":1153.289,"body":"And that when I kind of got to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.819,"endTime":1153.289,"body":"point where I was like, wishing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1153.289,"endTime":1156.079,"body":"well like close family who are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1153.289,"endTime":1156.079,"body":"getting married, and like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.109,"endTime":1159.679,"body":"looking that not through the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.109,"endTime":1159.679,"body":"lens of my hurt, but through the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.739,"endTime":1162.949,"body":"potential of what their story"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.739,"endTime":1162.949,"body":"could be, like, I saw healing in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1162.949,"endTime":1166.129,"body":"myself there. And there's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1162.949,"endTime":1166.129,"body":"there's a small degree to which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1166.279,"endTime":1168.379,"body":"that voice is still sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1166.279,"endTime":1168.379,"body":"there for many of us at a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.409,"endTime":1171.379,"body":"cousin's wedding actually, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1168.409,"endTime":1171.379,"body":"last weekend, and I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.379,"endTime":1173.839,"body":"hearing that voice. So like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.379,"endTime":1173.839,"body":"Nah, man, that's not that's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1173.839,"endTime":1176.749,"body":"true. And like, I recognize that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1173.839,"endTime":1176.749,"body":"was there and just committed to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1177.349,"endTime":1180.139,"body":"like, not going down that path"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1177.349,"endTime":1180.139,"body":"because that that voice of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.139,"endTime":1185.449,"body":"resentment, and bitterness is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1180.139,"endTime":1185.449,"body":"vicious monster that has a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.449,"endTime":1188.749,"body":"certain degree of truth and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.449,"endTime":1188.749,"body":"logic to it. But that's not the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.749,"endTime":1192.319,"body":"whole truth. And so, yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.749,"endTime":1192.319,"body":"have to, once you're once you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.319,"endTime":1194.899,"body":"betrayed, it's very easy to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.319,"endTime":1194.899,"body":"think, to think about things in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.899,"endTime":1198.229,"body":"terms of very black and white"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1194.899,"endTime":1198.229,"body":"terms, right because then it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.289,"endTime":1202.789,"body":"relieves you of the Cognitive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1198.289,"endTime":1202.789,"body":"strain of thinking and nuance."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1203.059,"endTime":1206.599,"body":"However, it's like obviously,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1203.059,"endTime":1206.599,"body":"black and white thinking is what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.599,"endTime":1209.029,"body":"we call in psychology, a thought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1206.599,"endTime":1209.029,"body":"distortion by cognitive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.029,"endTime":1212.029,"body":"behavioral therapy. We'll talk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1209.029,"endTime":1212.029,"body":"about that being one of the ways"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1212.029,"endTime":1215.389,"body":"that it's basically like you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1212.029,"endTime":1215.389,"body":"discount the good. You say like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1215.389,"endTime":1218.119,"body":"well, because of this event now,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1215.389,"endTime":1218.119,"body":"this is my destiny in the rest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.119,"endTime":1221.989,"body":"of my life, like, Yeah, I mean"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.119,"endTime":1221.989,"body":"that it's a data point, but it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.989,"endTime":1224.119,"body":"not the whole truth. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1221.989,"endTime":1224.119,"body":"why stories are so important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.119,"endTime":1228.589,"body":"because you start to realize"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1224.119,"endTime":1228.589,"body":"that look, if you're betrayed,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.619,"endTime":1231.619,"body":"if you're, if you've experienced"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.619,"endTime":1231.619,"body":"a moral injury, where you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.649,"endTime":1234.709,"body":"witness something that you never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1231.649,"endTime":1234.709,"body":"had a context for, hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1234.709,"endTime":1236.869,"body":"congratulations, you're now on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1234.709,"endTime":1236.869,"body":"the hero's journey that Christ"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.869,"endTime":1241.369,"body":"went down. And you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.869,"endTime":1241.369,"body":"understand the nature of sin,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.399,"endTime":1244.579,"body":"the nature that love allows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1241.399,"endTime":1244.579,"body":"other people to choose and why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1244.579,"endTime":1247.819,"body":"that is so painful, because that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1244.579,"endTime":1247.819,"body":"allows them to choose good or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.819,"endTime":1254.209,"body":"ill, and ultimately allows you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1247.819,"endTime":1254.209,"body":"to nest your story within Christ"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1254.209,"endTime":1256.729,"body":"story in a much more profound,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1254.209,"endTime":1256.729,"body":"close way."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1258.02,"endTime":1261.08,"body":"Man, that's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1258.02,"endTime":1261.08,"body":"good. Man. It's something I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1261.08,"endTime":1264.47,"body":"talked about. And I think it's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1261.08,"endTime":1264.47,"body":"hard to relay it's important"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1264.47,"endTime":1267.5,"body":"sometimes, but just the power"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1264.47,"endTime":1267.5,"body":"your story and realize, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1267.5,"endTime":1271.85,"body":"that I'm not defined by a one"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1267.5,"endTime":1271.85,"body":"event by one feeling when one"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1271.85,"endTime":1275.21,"body":"emotion. Man, that's really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1271.85,"endTime":1275.21,"body":"good, Marcus, man, I appreciate"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1275.21,"endTime":1279.68,"body":"you sharing that. So yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1275.21,"endTime":1279.68,"body":"mean, my next question really is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1279.68,"endTime":1282.8,"body":"is so it says, you know, you put"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1279.68,"endTime":1282.8,"body":"in the subtitle that reveals the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1282.8,"endTime":1286.37,"body":"heart of God, what in this"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1282.8,"endTime":1286.37,"body":"journey? How did you? What did"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1286.37,"endTime":1288.71,"body":"you find out? What did you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1286.37,"endTime":1288.71,"body":"discover about the heart of God?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.51,"endTime":1293.24,"body":"Well, one moment really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.51,"endTime":1293.24,"body":"comes to mind that was that was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.24,"endTime":1296.78,"body":"when we had maybe two or three"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.24,"endTime":1296.78,"body":"therapy sessions afterwards to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1296.78,"endTime":1301.61,"body":"try to sort out what was going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1296.78,"endTime":1301.61,"body":"on. And it became apparent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.61,"endTime":1303.86,"body":"through those like, there's she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.61,"endTime":1303.86,"body":"there's no coming back from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.86,"endTime":1307.22,"body":"this, like, I kind of knew deep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.86,"endTime":1307.22,"body":"down like, Wait, all you want,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.22,"endTime":1310.52,"body":"she's gonna leave. And indeed,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.22,"endTime":1310.52,"body":"she was the one who ended up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.52,"endTime":1314.63,"body":"filing and moved away. And who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.52,"endTime":1314.63,"body":"knows. But anyway, so I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.63,"endTime":1318.47,"body":"coming back from I was coming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.63,"endTime":1318.47,"body":"back home driving by myself from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.47,"endTime":1321.83,"body":"that particular section. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.47,"endTime":1321.83,"body":"got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1327.83,"endTime":1340.7,"body":"you so I was on my way home from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1327.83,"endTime":1340.7,"body":"one of the counseling sessions."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.33,"endTime":1344.45,"body":"And it it was just so clear that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.33,"endTime":1344.45,"body":"this was not going to fix"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.45,"endTime":1347.51,"body":"itself. Like, unless something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.45,"endTime":1347.51,"body":"there was some sort of road to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.51,"endTime":1352.91,"body":"Damascus moment, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.51,"endTime":1352.91,"body":"relationship was over. And so I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.91,"endTime":1355.61,"body":"remember very specifically where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.91,"endTime":1355.61,"body":"I was, I was stopped in traffic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.61,"endTime":1359.18,"body":"light, and I yelled out loud,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1355.61,"endTime":1359.18,"body":"like, God, why should I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1359.18,"endTime":1363.29,"body":"suffer so much? Because she's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1359.18,"endTime":1363.29,"body":"messed up? Yeah, right away. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1363.29,"endTime":1367.85,"body":"was like, Dude, that's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1363.29,"endTime":1367.85,"body":"Christ did for you. Dang it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.84,"endTime":1372.92,"body":"And, you know, there's so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1368.84,"endTime":1372.92,"body":"that kind of led me down the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.92,"endTime":1376.01,"body":"road of like, a lot of self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1372.92,"endTime":1376.01,"body":"evaluation of like, Hey, man,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.01,"endTime":1378.71,"body":"where, like, you didn't do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.01,"endTime":1378.71,"body":"anything to cause her to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1378.71,"endTime":1381.23,"body":"that. But what choices did you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1378.71,"endTime":1381.23,"body":"make? Do you need to take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.23,"endTime":1385.19,"body":"ownership of now that this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1381.23,"endTime":1385.19,"body":"happened? It also, did you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.19,"endTime":1388.82,"body":"follow all of the strictures"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1385.19,"endTime":1388.82,"body":"which you supposedly adhered to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1388.82,"endTime":1391.19,"body":"in the early days of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1388.82,"endTime":1391.19,"body":"relationship, you are not paying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1391.19,"endTime":1394.76,"body":"attention to red flags, then you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1391.19,"endTime":1394.76,"body":"ask God to bless this or tell"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1394.76,"endTime":1397.88,"body":"you tell for him to tell you if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1394.76,"endTime":1397.88,"body":"this was a bad idea, but you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1397.88,"endTime":1399.71,"body":"not in a place where you'd be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1397.88,"endTime":1399.71,"body":"willing to listen, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1399.71,"endTime":1403.52,"body":"you're just sort of overcome"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1399.71,"endTime":1403.52,"body":"with all this excitement. So how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.52,"endTime":1406.58,"body":"did it reveal more of God, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1403.52,"endTime":1406.58,"body":"was like, understanding what the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.58,"endTime":1411.56,"body":"heart of love means and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1406.58,"endTime":1411.56,"body":"realizing that love. Agape love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.59,"endTime":1415.31,"body":"is one where you fully allow the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.59,"endTime":1415.31,"body":"other person to freely make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.31,"endTime":1420.8,"body":"whatever decisions they want, no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.31,"endTime":1420.8,"body":"matter how destructive. But that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1420.8,"endTime":1425.18,"body":"also is the best and only shot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1420.8,"endTime":1425.18,"body":"that we have for lasting good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1425.21,"endTime":1429.8,"body":"relationships in the future."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1425.21,"endTime":1429.8,"body":"Yeah, so it really taught me a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1429.8,"endTime":1432.98,"body":"lot about the nature of, of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1429.8,"endTime":1432.98,"body":"God's love, and the difficulty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.98,"endTime":1438.41,"body":"with which I have to, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.98,"endTime":1438.41,"body":"actually live that out, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.56,"endTime":1442.31,"body":"There's a mentor once kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.56,"endTime":1442.31,"body":"said to me something along the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.31,"endTime":1445.13,"body":"lines of You never want to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1442.31,"endTime":1445.13,"body":"a mission in life where you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.25,"endTime":1448.73,"body":"could hypothetically do it by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1445.25,"endTime":1448.73,"body":"your own power, right? And so to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1448.73,"endTime":1452.03,"body":"be able to love somebody else,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1448.73,"endTime":1452.03,"body":"in that way, is something that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.12,"endTime":1456.95,"body":"like, what brings me to the feet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1452.12,"endTime":1456.95,"body":"of the cross of like, I can't, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1456.95,"endTime":1460.49,"body":"just can't do this, like, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1456.95,"endTime":1460.49,"body":"know it. And that's exactly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.49,"endTime":1465.41,"body":"where Christ wants you. So the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.49,"endTime":1465.41,"body":"whole recovery process too, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1465.41,"endTime":1469.07,"body":"getting my book out and all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1465.41,"endTime":1469.07,"body":"that, like, so many things came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.07,"endTime":1472.37,"body":"together, and that's a well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.07,"endTime":1472.37,"body":"maybe not short amount of time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.37,"endTime":1475.07,"body":"but right when it should have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.37,"endTime":1475.07,"body":"for that to happen. So it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1475.07,"endTime":1477.44,"body":"just again and again and again."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1475.07,"endTime":1477.44,"body":"It was like God was reminding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.44,"endTime":1481.37,"body":"me, you can't do this alone."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.44,"endTime":1481.37,"body":"Like you can do certain things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.37,"endTime":1485.36,"body":"alone if you want to. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.37,"endTime":1485.36,"body":"your choice. But that's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.39,"endTime":1489.32,"body":"like if you if you do it my way,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.39,"endTime":1489.32,"body":"and you surrender that that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1489.92,"endTime":1491.39,"body":"that's the most powerful place"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1489.92,"endTime":1491.39,"body":"you're gonna be on,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1492.019,"endTime":1495.409,"body":"man. That's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1492.019,"endTime":1495.409,"body":"good. Gosh, yeah, that or"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1495.409,"endTime":1498.799,"body":"something. Yeah. You said that I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1495.409,"endTime":1498.799,"body":"think is interesting just in my"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1498.799,"endTime":1502.879,"body":"coaching with some men and It's"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1498.799,"endTime":1502.879,"body":"like, even if someone was mainly"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1502.879,"endTime":1505.939,"body":"at fault there that they they"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1502.879,"endTime":1505.939,"body":"the one messed up that really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1505.939,"endTime":1509.449,"body":"hurt. There's still some level"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1505.939,"endTime":1509.449,"body":"of ownership and peace that you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1509.449,"endTime":1514.789,"body":"can take. You're not 100%"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1509.449,"endTime":1514.789,"body":"powerless in that. So how Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1514.789,"endTime":1517.489,"body":"what was some of the the self"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1514.789,"endTime":1517.489,"body":"talk? What was some of your"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1517.519,"endTime":1521.719,"body":"conversation with God and really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1517.519,"endTime":1521.719,"body":"your reflection of like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1521.749,"endTime":1524.959,"body":"she's really hurt me she's the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1521.749,"endTime":1524.959,"body":"one really destroying this and"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1524.959,"endTime":1528.799,"body":"pulling away. But what do I need"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1524.959,"endTime":1528.799,"body":"to learn? Or what do I need to"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1528.799,"endTime":1530.209,"body":"own in this process?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1531.47,"endTime":1534.95,"body":"Yeah, I think one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1531.47,"endTime":1534.95,"body":"the, if anyone's ever read the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1534.95,"endTime":1538.46,"body":"book, The Four Agreements by Don"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1534.95,"endTime":1538.46,"body":"Miguel Ruiz, there's a, one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1538.46,"endTime":1540.35,"body":"the Four Agreements is don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1538.46,"endTime":1540.35,"body":"take anything personally."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1541.88,"endTime":1545.42,"body":"That's, you might think, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1541.88,"endTime":1545.42,"body":"well, in a case of an adulterous"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.45,"endTime":1547.7,"body":"situation, how on earth do not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1545.45,"endTime":1547.7,"body":"take that personally, doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1547.7,"endTime":1550.25,"body":"that other person? Aren't they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1547.7,"endTime":1550.25,"body":"like intimate with you? Don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.25,"endTime":1553.79,"body":"they know you? Like nobody else"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.25,"endTime":1553.79,"body":"knows you? And it's like, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.79,"endTime":1557.15,"body":"hang on. No, that can't be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.79,"endTime":1557.15,"body":"right. Because to take someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.15,"endTime":1561.05,"body":"personally, something,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.15,"endTime":1561.05,"body":"personally, is to take what the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.05,"endTime":1564.95,"body":"other person said to you or did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.05,"endTime":1564.95,"body":"to you. And appraise it as,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.98,"endTime":1567.32,"body":"okay, that's an accurate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.98,"endTime":1567.32,"body":"reflection of who I am in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.32,"endTime":1573.11,"body":"totality. Like no less, unless"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1567.32,"endTime":1573.11,"body":"the thing that created you is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.11,"endTime":1579.05,"body":"saying that it doesn't reflect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.11,"endTime":1579.05,"body":"all of who you are. And so, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.05,"endTime":1583.46,"body":"no, it wasn't, it wasn't me, she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1579.05,"endTime":1583.46,"body":"betrayed it was herself. And in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.46,"endTime":1586.7,"body":"the early days of my of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.46,"endTime":1586.7,"body":"relationship, it wasn't, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.7,"endTime":1591.14,"body":"wasn't what there was a sense in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.7,"endTime":1591.14,"body":"which I betrayed my own values"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.14,"endTime":1595.88,"body":"early on. You know, maybe not to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.14,"endTime":1595.88,"body":"such a salient degree. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.97,"endTime":1600.08,"body":"still, it was like, listen,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.97,"endTime":1600.08,"body":"people do things out of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.08,"endTime":1604.37,"body":"depths of their own heart,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.08,"endTime":1604.37,"body":"always 100% of the time. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.37,"endTime":1607.16,"body":"it's only God who has the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.37,"endTime":1607.16,"body":"to tell you something personal."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.7,"endTime":1612.29,"body":"Other people cannot. Even with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1607.7,"endTime":1612.29,"body":"compliments or insults, none of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1612.29,"endTime":1615.71,"body":"those things are ever 100%"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1612.29,"endTime":1615.71,"body":"accurate of who it is. You are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1615.71,"endTime":1616.61,"body":"in your entirety."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1617.69,"endTime":1622.7,"body":"Hmm. Man,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1617.69,"endTime":1622.7,"body":"that's good. Man. Nice. Sit on"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1622.7,"endTime":1627.77,"body":"that for a second. That's really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1622.7,"endTime":1627.77,"body":"good. So one of the things you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1627.77,"endTime":1631.67,"body":"also talk about with the book is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1627.77,"endTime":1631.67,"body":"the, you know, the marriage"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1631.67,"endTime":1635.45,"body":"ended, but his purpose did not."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1631.67,"endTime":1635.45,"body":"So what do you feel like God is"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1636.35,"endTime":1639.14,"body":"through the struggle through the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1636.35,"endTime":1639.14,"body":"hardship that he's really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1639.53,"endTime":1643.31,"body":"redeeming, renewing and pulling"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1639.53,"endTime":1643.31,"body":"in and really giving you purpose"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1644.03,"endTime":1647.45,"body":"in from from this horrible thing"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1644.03,"endTime":1647.45,"body":"that really happened to you?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.59,"endTime":1650.69,"body":"Well, I alluded earlier"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.59,"endTime":1650.69,"body":"to this idea of the hero's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1650.69,"endTime":1653.24,"body":"journey, if anyone's done any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1650.69,"endTime":1653.24,"body":"reading or watching of Joseph"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1653.24,"endTime":1655.37,"body":"Campbell, he does a pretty good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1653.24,"endTime":1655.37,"body":"job of kind of articulating what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.37,"endTime":1658.94,"body":"that is. And you can start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1655.37,"endTime":1658.94,"body":"see it and all of the most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.94,"endTime":1661.04,"body":"popular movies that I've ever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1658.94,"endTime":1661.04,"body":"come out. And there are a couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1661.04,"endTime":1664.55,"body":"of different story arcs that are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1661.04,"endTime":1664.55,"body":"kind of embedded in there. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.55,"endTime":1667.94,"body":"it's a it's a pattern that has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1664.55,"endTime":1667.94,"body":"been there since the beginning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.94,"endTime":1671.54,"body":"of human existence. And we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.94,"endTime":1671.54,"body":"see it in so many different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1671.78,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"religious stories and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1671.78,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"mythologies, and all of that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1674.27,"endTime":1680.0,"body":"And I started to see my own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1674.27,"endTime":1680.0,"body":"story within that particular"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1680.0,"endTime":1683.84,"body":"journey. So in other words, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1680.0,"endTime":1683.84,"body":"the proverbial descent into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1683.84,"endTime":1687.29,"body":"underworld and an encounter with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1683.84,"endTime":1687.29,"body":"a monster at the depths of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.29,"endTime":1691.28,"body":"sea started to make more sense."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.29,"endTime":1691.28,"body":"And it was like, Okay, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1691.31,"endTime":1693.8,"body":"all right. That's the moment of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1691.31,"endTime":1693.8,"body":"crucifixion, Christ went down to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1693.8,"endTime":1698.33,"body":"hell to redeem centers. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1693.8,"endTime":1698.33,"body":"that scene in the Pinocchio"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1698.33,"endTime":1701.03,"body":"story where it goes down to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1698.33,"endTime":1701.03,"body":"belly of the whale, that's the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1701.03,"endTime":1704.6,"body":"scene in Degas on Star Wars"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1701.03,"endTime":1704.6,"body":"where he goes and sees himself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.6,"endTime":1708.71,"body":"in Darth Vader, right? It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1704.6,"endTime":1708.71,"body":"confronted, that's the idea of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1708.71,"endTime":1711.47,"body":"confronting the shadow and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1708.71,"endTime":1711.47,"body":"integrating the shadow. What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.47,"endTime":1714.2,"body":"else that's the Chamber of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.47,"endTime":1714.2,"body":"Secrets where Harry Potter goes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1714.2,"endTime":1718.28,"body":"into the depths of Hogwarts and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1714.2,"endTime":1718.28,"body":"confronts the bass list. Let's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1718.28,"endTime":1722.0,"body":"see. That's, that's Weathertop."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1718.28,"endTime":1722.0,"body":"in Lord of the Rings, where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.27,"endTime":1725.06,"body":"Frodo first gets stabbed, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.27,"endTime":1725.06,"body":"moral injury. And so it was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.06,"endTime":1729.71,"body":"like, oh, that's, I'm not alone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.06,"endTime":1729.71,"body":"in this. This is a thing. This"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1729.71,"endTime":1732.05,"body":"is like a feature of our story."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1729.71,"endTime":1732.05,"body":"It's not like something went"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1732.29,"endTime":1735.92,"body":"irrevocably wrong. And then,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1732.29,"endTime":1735.92,"body":"yeah, it's there's that quote by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1735.92,"endTime":1738.65,"body":"I think it's the row who says,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1735.92,"endTime":1738.65,"body":"All of us are broken, but some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1738.65,"endTime":1742.4,"body":"of us are stronger in the broken"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1738.65,"endTime":1742.4,"body":"places. And it was that whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.4,"endTime":1745.25,"body":"process of working through that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.4,"endTime":1745.25,"body":"that made me understand, like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1745.28,"endTime":1748.46,"body":"oh, there's a pattern to this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1745.28,"endTime":1748.46,"body":"And then I saw that and in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1748.46,"endTime":1752.15,"body":"story of, especially Vietnam"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1748.46,"endTime":1752.15,"body":"veterans, but also in our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1752.15,"endTime":1756.71,"body":"current cohort of, of service"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1752.15,"endTime":1756.71,"body":"members, where it's like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1756.8,"endTime":1763.13,"body":"how can I teach that same story"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1756.8,"endTime":1763.13,"body":"to them? And my approach, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1763.13,"endTime":1766.46,"body":"guess, in therapy, I'm not quite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1763.13,"endTime":1766.46,"body":"a therapist yet. But, um, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1766.46,"endTime":1769.19,"body":"let's say my approach in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1766.46,"endTime":1769.19,"body":"counseling and doing coaching"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.19,"endTime":1772.43,"body":"for veterans, when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.19,"endTime":1772.43,"body":"dealing with things like moral"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1772.43,"endTime":1777.38,"body":"injury, how do I how do I teach"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1772.43,"endTime":1777.38,"body":"the Christian story to them, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.38,"endTime":1779.63,"body":"meet them wherever they are,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.38,"endTime":1779.63,"body":"whatever the relationship is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1779.63,"endTime":1783.92,"body":"with with Christianity, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1779.63,"endTime":1783.92,"body":"have to really you got to go to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.92,"endTime":1787.82,"body":"the depths of understanding what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1783.92,"endTime":1787.82,"body":"they've gone through. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1787.82,"endTime":1791.51,"body":"not fully you want it there, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1787.82,"endTime":1791.51,"body":"like, I've talked to veterans"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.51,"endTime":1795.11,"body":"who you wouldn't believe like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.51,"endTime":1795.11,"body":"you know, if you've got some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.14,"endTime":1798.83,"body":"guys out on patrol, and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1795.14,"endTime":1798.83,"body":"like, you know, 10 meters away"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.83,"endTime":1802.04,"body":"somebody steps on a mind And you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.83,"endTime":1802.04,"body":"didn't. And you just saw them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.04,"endTime":1806.42,"body":"vanish. Like, okay. What sermon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1802.04,"endTime":1806.42,"body":"and my Southern Baptist Church"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.42,"endTime":1811.28,"body":"taught me how to deal with that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.42,"endTime":1811.28,"body":"Right? It's like, oh, nine. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.28,"endTime":1815.36,"body":"then well, how do you meet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1811.28,"endTime":1815.36,"body":"someone who maybe had a split"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.36,"endTime":1821.27,"body":"with God after an experience is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1815.36,"endTime":1821.27,"body":"as just profane? Is that? And my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.27,"endTime":1824.3,"body":"answer so far, and I'm still,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1821.27,"endTime":1824.3,"body":"you know, I think I could work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.3,"endTime":1828.08,"body":"on this for a lifetime and not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.3,"endTime":1828.08,"body":"fully come to, you know, be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1828.08,"endTime":1831.02,"body":"learning new things about how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1828.08,"endTime":1831.02,"body":"approach this best, but has been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.02,"endTime":1834.5,"body":"to point to those types of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.02,"endTime":1834.5,"body":"stories. And like, Hey, man,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.53,"endTime":1838.19,"body":"like, yes, you're right, like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.53,"endTime":1838.19,"body":"you did experience the depths of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.19,"endTime":1841.97,"body":"profanity. And I can understand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1838.19,"endTime":1841.97,"body":"your reason to default into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1841.97,"endTime":1844.82,"body":"nihilism where nothing matters,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1841.97,"endTime":1844.82,"body":"and your worlds blown apart, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1844.82,"endTime":1847.85,"body":"all my friends, you know, died"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1844.82,"endTime":1847.85,"body":"downrange, and my life is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.88,"endTime":1851.42,"body":"worthless. And that that whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.88,"endTime":1851.42,"body":"spiral, like, I can understand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.42,"endTime":1854.15,"body":"that man, like the when we look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.42,"endTime":1854.15,"body":"at the shadow, and we look at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.15,"endTime":1856.97,"body":"the abyss, like it is a deep,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.15,"endTime":1856.97,"body":"dark place, but check it out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.66,"endTime":1859.82,"body":"The remedy to that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.66,"endTime":1859.82,"body":"experiencing something sacred"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.82,"endTime":1862.55,"body":"and set apart and holy, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1859.82,"endTime":1862.55,"body":"can't be touched by profanity to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.55,"endTime":1864.8,"body":"the world. So how do you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.55,"endTime":1864.8,"body":"that? You have to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.8,"endTime":1868.94,"body":"sacrifices in the way that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.8,"endTime":1868.94,"body":"live? No. So. So like that's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.97,"endTime":1871.49,"body":"that's sort of an excerpt, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.97,"endTime":1871.49,"body":"guess, of the type of language"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.49,"endTime":1874.76,"body":"that I try to use to explain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.49,"endTime":1874.76,"body":"this process of, like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.76,"endTime":1877.46,"body":"what are your choices now that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1874.76,"endTime":1877.46,"body":"you've experienced something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1877.46,"endTime":1880.1,"body":"that shattered your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1877.46,"endTime":1880.1,"body":"understanding of how humans"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.1,"endTime":1883.34,"body":"operate? Are we going to go down"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.1,"endTime":1883.34,"body":"the path of everything's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.34,"endTime":1886.04,"body":"meaningless? And who cares"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.34,"endTime":1886.04,"body":"anyway? Or are we going to try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.04,"endTime":1889.25,"body":"to tease out like, what is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.04,"endTime":1889.25,"body":"purpose behind this? What is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.25,"endTime":1894.95,"body":"meaning here? How can I take the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.25,"endTime":1894.95,"body":"raw material of things that have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.95,"endTime":1898.16,"body":"been broken down and turn it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.95,"endTime":1898.16,"body":"into, like, use that turn it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.16,"endTime":1900.77,"body":"into growth? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1901.91,"endTime":1904.04,"body":"Man, Marcus,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1901.91,"endTime":1904.04,"body":"you are spitting some good stuff"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1904.04,"endTime":1906.62,"body":"here, man. So how to Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1904.04,"endTime":1906.62,"body":"mean, right now, just from our"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1906.62,"endTime":1910.91,"body":"audience, I mean, you know, even"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1906.62,"endTime":1910.91,"body":"some men out there who haven't?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1911.51,"endTime":1914.45,"body":"Aren't veterans haven't spirits,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1911.51,"endTime":1914.45,"body":"the trauma of war, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1914.45,"endTime":1917.84,"body":"what's something that you could"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1914.45,"endTime":1917.84,"body":"you would advise them to help"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1917.84,"endTime":1920.78,"body":"them understand more their story"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1917.84,"endTime":1920.78,"body":"and unpack some of their trauma?"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1920.78,"endTime":1924.77,"body":"And really, like you said, get"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1920.78,"endTime":1924.77,"body":"that redemptive arc back in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1924.77,"endTime":1927.83,"body":"their life and spirit, something"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":1924.77,"endTime":1927.83,"body":"sacred and holy and good?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.36,"endTime":1934.07,"body":"Yeah, well, I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.36,"endTime":1934.07,"body":"ask, well, well, a couple things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1934.07,"endTime":1939.29,"body":"there. So all of us are going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1934.07,"endTime":1939.29,"body":"make mistakes. And the product"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1939.29,"endTime":1943.19,"body":"of those mistakes are what we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1939.29,"endTime":1943.19,"body":"can take to then create our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.19,"endTime":1947.42,"body":"world. So what do I mean by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1943.19,"endTime":1947.42,"body":"that? When I first learned what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1947.42,"endTime":1950.21,"body":"the word demonstrate meant, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1947.42,"endTime":1950.21,"body":"kind of blew my mind and really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.24,"endTime":1954.02,"body":"helped me to understand the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.24,"endTime":1954.02,"body":"process whereby you take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1954.02,"endTime":1958.82,"body":"mistakes and use those mistakes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1954.02,"endTime":1958.82,"body":"to make your future and not in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1958.82,"endTime":1961.91,"body":"way where it just permits you to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1958.82,"endTime":1961.91,"body":"just make mistakes on purpose,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.91,"endTime":1967.04,"body":"obviously. But so the word"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.91,"endTime":1967.04,"body":"demonstrate, it means to D"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1967.31,"endTime":1972.41,"body":"monster, a monster apart into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1967.31,"endTime":1972.41,"body":"usable pieces. At French the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1972.41,"endTime":1975.77,"body":"word is monta, which means to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1972.41,"endTime":1975.77,"body":"show which is rooted and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1975.86,"endTime":1981.05,"body":"Monster, right. Okay, so monster"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1975.86,"endTime":1981.05,"body":"is the thing that you confront"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.08,"endTime":1984.11,"body":"when your worldview is really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.08,"endTime":1984.11,"body":"getting challenged when your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1984.2,"endTime":1989.51,"body":"faith let's say, is, is under"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1984.2,"endTime":1989.51,"body":"pressure. Okay, so you take that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.51,"endTime":1992.75,"body":"moment, and you d monster, it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.51,"endTime":1992.75,"body":"you take it apart into little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.75,"endTime":1995.15,"body":"pieces. What happened here?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1992.75,"endTime":1995.15,"body":"Where are you responsible? Where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.15,"endTime":1998.15,"body":"did other people make decisions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1995.15,"endTime":1998.15,"body":"that made you feel this way? How"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1998.15,"endTime":2001.18,"body":"is it that you're reacting to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1998.15,"endTime":2001.18,"body":"stimulus that's outside of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.18,"endTime":2005.08,"body":"control? Are you seeing the line"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.18,"endTime":2005.08,"body":"between things you can't control"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2005.08,"endTime":2007.72,"body":"and things that are out of your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2005.08,"endTime":2007.72,"body":"control? And then you what,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.72,"endTime":2010.87,"body":"break all of those down into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2007.72,"endTime":2010.87,"body":"little pieces of, let's see, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2010.87,"endTime":2015.49,"body":"can actually control my behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2010.87,"endTime":2015.49,"body":"here. My visceral response to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.49,"endTime":2018.04,"body":"this thing that another person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.49,"endTime":2018.04,"body":"did is actually on me to take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2018.04,"endTime":2020.92,"body":"responsibility for they don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2018.04,"endTime":2020.92,"body":"cause me to have that reaction."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2020.92,"endTime":2023.41,"body":"I choose to have that reaction."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2020.92,"endTime":2023.41,"body":"Right. I'm putting my therapist"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2023.41,"endTime":2027.61,"body":"hat on here. But it's, it's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2023.41,"endTime":2027.61,"body":"process of seeing like, hey,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2027.61,"endTime":2031.87,"body":"look, Jesus isn't judging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2027.61,"endTime":2031.87,"body":"anymore. If you've accepted him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2031.9,"endTime":2036.25,"body":"and accepted His forgiveness for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2031.9,"endTime":2036.25,"body":"your mistakes, he's not sitting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2036.25,"endTime":2041.89,"body":"up there like scowling, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2036.25,"endTime":2041.89,"body":"But he invites you to take a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2041.89,"endTime":2045.64,"body":"hard honest look at where you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2041.89,"endTime":2045.64,"body":"been at what you haven't taken"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2045.64,"endTime":2050.71,"body":"responsibility for. And from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2045.64,"endTime":2050.71,"body":"that extract, ways of updating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2050.71,"endTime":2053.53,"body":"your worldview such that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2050.71,"endTime":2053.53,"body":"live in the world in a way that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2054.79,"endTime":2057.43,"body":"is sort of shrewd as serpents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2054.79,"endTime":2057.43,"body":"but innocent as doves, if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2057.43,"endTime":2057.67,"body":"will."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2058.029,"endTime":2061.239,"body":"Yes, man. And"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2058.029,"endTime":2061.239,"body":"that those two things holding"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2061.239,"endTime":2066.009,"body":"those intention is such a needed"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2061.239,"endTime":2066.009,"body":"thing. As man how do we walk in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2066.009,"endTime":2068.799,"body":"that because I think we do we"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2066.009,"endTime":2068.799,"body":"struggle with it. The world"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2068.799,"endTime":2072.219,"body":"struggles with nuance in"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2068.799,"endTime":2072.219,"body":"general, right? They'd love to"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2072.219,"endTime":2077.139,"body":"live in that black and white"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2072.219,"endTime":2077.139,"body":"that that's the word I'm looking"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2077.139,"endTime":2082.359,"body":"for binary thought process."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2077.139,"endTime":2082.359,"body":"Yeah. So yeah, um, well, Marcus,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2082.359,"endTime":2085.029,"body":"man, it's been great having you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2082.359,"endTime":2085.029,"body":"on man. You've really brought"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2085.029,"endTime":2088.539,"body":"some good stuff. I'm excited to"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2085.029,"endTime":2088.539,"body":"share this with my audience."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2088.569,"endTime":2093.249,"body":"What? Yeah, I you know, I gotta"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2088.569,"endTime":2093.249,"body":"ask you this question. I asked"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2093.249,"endTime":2095.649,"body":"this one a lot. And it's once"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2093.249,"endTime":2095.649,"body":"again you kind of hit on it"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2095.649,"endTime":2098.409,"body":"already. But you know, what"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2095.649,"endTime":2098.409,"body":"would you what would you tell"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2098.409,"endTime":2102.159,"body":"that 25 year old self If you"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2098.409,"endTime":2102.159,"body":"could speak to them, what"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2102.159,"endTime":2103.329,"body":"message do you share with them?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2106.96,"endTime":2111.1,"body":"Don't assume things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2106.96,"endTime":2111.1,"body":"about your future, we have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2111.1,"endTime":2115.81,"body":"tendency to operate in a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2111.1,"endTime":2115.81,"body":"that assumes that the things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.81,"endTime":2117.79,"body":"that have happened in our past"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.81,"endTime":2117.79,"body":"are predictive of the things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2117.79,"endTime":2119.89,"body":"that are happening are going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2117.79,"endTime":2119.89,"body":"happen in the future. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2119.89,"endTime":2123.46,"body":"absolutely not true. I'm reading"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2119.89,"endTime":2123.46,"body":"a book right now called"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.46,"endTime":2126.64,"body":"antifragility by Nassim Taleb,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.46,"endTime":2126.64,"body":"same guy who wrote The Black"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2126.64,"endTime":2130.42,"body":"Swan, for anybody who's familiar"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2126.64,"endTime":2130.42,"body":"with that. And he kind of takes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2130.42,"endTime":2136.09,"body":"a business like statistical view"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2130.42,"endTime":2136.09,"body":"of it, where he, his, he has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2136.09,"endTime":2138.19,"body":"this thing called the turkey"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2136.09,"endTime":2138.19,"body":"fallacy, where it's like, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2138.19,"endTime":2141.37,"body":"turkey assumes every single day,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2138.19,"endTime":2141.37,"body":"like, oh, the guy who's feeding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2141.37,"endTime":2145.03,"body":"me is my friend, and I going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2141.37,"endTime":2145.03,"body":"really well. And then, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2145.03,"endTime":2148.99,"body":"there's one bad day, right. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2145.03,"endTime":2148.99,"body":"I would say, like, look at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.99,"endTime":2151.39,"body":"reverse of that, like, man,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.99,"endTime":2151.39,"body":"things have been going kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2151.39,"endTime":2154.42,"body":"bad for a little while, it just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2151.39,"endTime":2154.42,"body":"seems like, I keep trying for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2154.42,"endTime":2156.34,"body":"this thing. And it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2154.42,"endTime":2156.34,"body":"happen. And I'm trying the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2156.34,"endTime":2158.26,"body":"thing. And it's still like, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2156.34,"endTime":2158.26,"body":"just can't break through this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2158.26,"endTime":2161.62,"body":"thing. You got to make room for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2158.26,"endTime":2161.62,"body":"the miracle, right? I mentioned"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2161.62,"endTime":2165.55,"body":"before, that a lot of things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2161.62,"endTime":2165.55,"body":"came together that were out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2165.55,"endTime":2168.49,"body":"my control, that sort of came to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2165.55,"endTime":2168.49,"body":"me at the right time that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2168.49,"endTime":2172.66,"body":"provided for me to be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2168.49,"endTime":2172.66,"body":"move forward. And it's often the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.66,"endTime":2175.33,"body":"case that God's gonna have you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.66,"endTime":2175.33,"body":"grinding away at something for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.33,"endTime":2179.41,"body":"while to teach certain lessons."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.33,"endTime":2179.41,"body":"And then something just sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2179.8,"endTime":2182.14,"body":"mysteriously sort of opens up,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2179.8,"endTime":2182.14,"body":"there's this sort of provision"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.14,"endTime":2187.03,"body":"of Mana, that that falls in your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.14,"endTime":2187.03,"body":"lap one day, when you're sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2187.03,"endTime":2191.59,"body":"in a posture to take it. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2187.03,"endTime":2191.59,"body":"yeah, so don't don't assume that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2191.59,"endTime":2193.96,"body":"the things that have happened to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2191.59,"endTime":2193.96,"body":"you or your destiny, it's easy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2193.96,"endTime":2196.72,"body":"to say but man, it's, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2193.96,"endTime":2196.72,"body":"something that can be really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.72,"endTime":2197.65,"body":"difficult to shake off."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2198.22,"endTime":2201.85,"body":"Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2198.22,"endTime":2201.85,"body":"well, Marcus, it's been a"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2201.85,"endTime":2204.55,"body":"pleasure, man. I really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2201.85,"endTime":2204.55,"body":"appreciate man, you just coming"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2204.55,"endTime":2207.52,"body":"on Sharon, sharing your story,"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2204.55,"endTime":2207.52,"body":"man, that's like that's so"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2207.52,"endTime":2210.16,"body":"impactful. I mean, it just"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2207.52,"endTime":2210.16,"body":"really does show just all the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2210.55,"endTime":2213.79,"body":"healing and redemption that"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2210.55,"endTime":2213.79,"body":"that's come from really dealing"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2213.79,"endTime":2217.12,"body":"with something that's really"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2213.79,"endTime":2217.12,"body":"hard as divorce. I appreciate"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2217.12,"endTime":2218.86,"body":"you sharing this man. And so"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2217.12,"endTime":2218.86,"body":"yeah, I would love for you just"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2218.86,"endTime":2222.52,"body":"kind of give a plug for the"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2218.86,"endTime":2222.52,"body":"book. And also Yeah, we're some"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2222.79,"endTime":2224.95,"body":"my listeners can find you and"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2222.79,"endTime":2224.95,"body":"connect with you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2225.79,"endTime":2227.59,"body":"Yeah, so again, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2225.79,"endTime":2227.59,"body":"book is no less faithful how the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.59,"endTime":2229.63,"body":"scars of divorce revealed the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.59,"endTime":2229.63,"body":"heart of God available on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.63,"endTime":2232.84,"body":"Amazon. You can find me on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.63,"endTime":2232.84,"body":"Instagram at Ultra unfairness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2232.87,"endTime":2235.63,"body":"where mostly you'll see me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2232.87,"endTime":2235.63,"body":"posting things either about my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2235.63,"endTime":2239.41,"body":"dog or my race performances. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2235.63,"endTime":2239.41,"body":"have a blog that is linked in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2239.41,"endTime":2241.81,"body":"the bio of my Instagram. And"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2242.56,"endTime":2244.42,"body":"awesome."},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2242.56,"endTime":2244.42,"body":"Well, Marcus, thanks for coming"},{"speaker":"Cartwright Morris","startTime":2244.42,"endTime":2245.35,"body":"on, man. It was great."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2245.89,"endTime":2247.24,"body":"I'm grateful for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2245.89,"endTime":2247.24,"body":"time Thank you."}]}