Life Ain't About the Next Thing | Episode 149

Embracing Present and Purpose in Your 20s and 30s: Insights on Growth, Gratitude, and Control

In this episode, Bo and Cartwright explore how men in their twenties and thirties grapple with control, purpose, and contentment. We uncover practical ways to stay present, shift perspectives, and embrace God's timing amid life's uncertainties.

Key Topics

• The importance of being present over chasing the next milestone
• How historical and biblical context inform our understanding of work and purpose
• Overcoming anxiety related to control and future expectations
• Developing gratitude as a discipline to foster fulfillment
• Recognizing the false promise that more success or possessions bring peace
• Building meaningful friendship through vulnerability and humility
• Practical tools like journaling and brain dumps to process emotions
• The role of community and mentorship in growth

Timestamps

00:00 - Setting the stage: Why focus on purpose, control, and presence
 02:10 - Introducing the podcast and the conversation's heart
 03:06 - Lessons from older generations: Success, failure, and wisdom
 04:26 - Comparing past and present distractions and wisdom gained
 05:26 - The myth that getting the next thing will bring peace
 06:17 - Cultural and biblical insights on history and purpose
 07:48 - How early American immigrant mindset shaped our work ethic
 09:39 - The danger of future-focused living that misses the present
 10:56 - Addressing the desire for achievement in singleness and marriage
 12:19 - Practical steps: Practicing gratitude daily
 13:16 - The benefit of being fully present and adding value
 14:23 - The biblical example of Jesus’ presence amid chaos
 15:56 - The regional scope of Christianity and its global implications
 16:09 - Where these mindsets most show up today (career, family)
 16:38 - The freeing reality: Control is limited, trusting God is key
 17:34 - The importance of leaving results to God and practicing patience
 19:01 - The pitfalls of success stories like Zuckerberg and Musk
 20:06 - Common mistakes in dating: Focusing on image over character
 21:27 - The enduring value of shared values and interests in relationships
 22:22 - Simple actions for men to break free from cycle of dissatisfaction
 23:47 - Embracing a holistic view of success and life balance
 24:13 - Learning to stop, reflect, and be present with those around us
 25:31 - Shifting from drive to adding value and practicing gratitude
 26:10 - One major takeaway: Recognize the interconnectedness of your journey
 27:19 - Reflection and thankfulness: Allowing time for God to direct your steps
 28:39 - The power of journaling and brain dumping for clarity
 29:40 - Gratitude in adversity: Recognizing God's hand in the prese

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Transcript

Bo (02:10.574)
All right, everybody. Welcome to Men Are Forged, the podcast where Cartwright, Morris and Bo Morgan talk about things that guys in their twenties and thirties are dealing with, struggling with, trying to figure out. Yeah. And what's cool about this is, you know, you can go back and look at the episode where Cartwright and I talk about how we got to know each other through Cartwright's mentorship of me.

But my point is we're kind of figuring this out in real time. This is not the place you go to be like, Hey, these guys have all the answers in the car. I've got a bunch. This is like, Hey, let's actually see, let's wrestle together here and figure out, you know, what the, God is really trying to teach us rather than the outcome we're trying to get to. Which is what I really like about this.

100%.

Cartwright (03:06.376)
Which is, I'm a little bit of a, I led a group of like young professionals for about a year or so. And I brought in guest speakers about 10 or 12. And I did a survey of all the guest speakers from the guys that took the group of who stood out. And it was wild was like, I brought in some like,

heavy hitters, guys in their 60s and 70s that had really been successful in business and they could really, had a lot of great things to say, a lot of lessons learned, a lot of things. But then there's a couple of guys that were in like their late 40s, early 50s that I got to speak. after getting everybody's feedback, the ones they gravitated towards was the guys in the 40s and 50s, meaning to your point, it's kind of the guy has a couple of steps, still figuring out, still grinding.

Still in the grind. So there's something to be said about that. anyway, that was a little bit of a.

No, I can totally, and I can relate to that too. mean, you love listening to the guys that are like retired a**, stuff like that. But dude, think about how different it was for them in the eighties and nineties. They didn't have this that they were addicted to. Their phone, didn't have any distractions, like immediate access to all kinds of terrible things that can like wreck your marriage and your life. You know what I mean?

I mean

Cartwright (04:26.062)
distractions

Cartwright (04:33.71)
Yeah, yeah, I had to really go after it.

Yeah, they had to hide their playboy under their mattress. know, mean, using that as example. yeah, I mean, so there's so much wisdom being learned from those guys, not taken away from that. But here it's like, what I love about it is, we're trying to find guys, especially, you and I are definitely an example of that, are in the middle of the wrestling.

Yeah.

or you're trying to be a quote unquote good Christian, good father and a good husband. But you have your calendar full and you're doing all the things you're trying to get to that next thing, which brings me to my point. There's a lot of guys, and this has been a little bit of a theme so far and that says we've recorded, but there's a lot of guys that feel like once they get the next thing, they will finally feel settled or they'll feel at peace.

Right. Right. Things that we've talked about in episode one, two, three, and even four little bit, I so far. But I love how we're hammering home on this because this really probably may be a theme that's kind of ribbed into or weaved into a lot of the episodes that we record because I think it could be a core of lot of issues that guys find, but they think that the new job, the more money, man, if I can just get to this new season of life, if my

Bo (05:56.322)
three month old man. can't wait till he's one. Right.

Yeah, yeah, Or I can't wait till he's throwing a ball with me.

Right, yeah, exactly. And time and time again, it's proven that that does not work. And we're seeing, and in this episode, we'll talk a little bit about history, but that's not just unique to today, right? That's something that people have dealt with forever.

Yeah, yeah, that was kind of what I was teeing up because I love, obviously, I love talking about things and culture and sports and news, but also like, you know, something we will definitely hit on the show, Bo, is the biblical context, but also the historical context. And I think there is something too. And if anybody's a fan of Andrew Schultz, kind of he hit on this, I feel like recently.

I'm not saying condoning his comedy routine, but he's hilarious. I think so. I'm trying to remember. don't know. Anyway, but that's funny. But he had a thought was like, man, the people that came over here 300 years ago, they had like, there was freedom of religion. There was creating a life for themselves that they couldn't do where they live.

Cartwright (07:16.366)
especially in Europe, like Malcolm Gladwell, which I'm not a huge fan of him, but I did really love his book Outliers. had a whole chapter on this on Scott. Scott's Irish, know, these are a group of people that it's like mainly lowland Scots, Northern Ireland, like constant fighting with the British. lived in very hilly.

Cartwright (07:48.885)
wet environments, constantly in conflict. There's a certain type of person and that's the type of person that came to the US in the late 17th century, early 18th century, right before the revolution, like the a hundred years leading up to the Revolutionary War. And they came here indentured, I think I'm saying this right, indentured servitude or a form of almost slavery.

or like, hey, seven, eight years, I will pay for your way over and you and your family to come to the US, but you are basically work for me for seven or eight years. And you're basically working off your freedom. But once you do, you can go settle your own land, but it's gonna be very dangerous. It's gonna be very, you're gonna be contending against, one, you're fighting the natives that are there, and then you're fighting other, the Hatfields and McCoys kind of thing.

And it is, right. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's very, it's frontier. It's frontier land and you're, and you're living, you know, and it's like, and it's, and it's very similar to what they came from in hilly wet country. Like if you ever go to smoky mountains and the Appalachians, the Western part of the Appalachians, that's what it was. And so, so anyway, I think there was that mindset set in whether they were, were, lot of them were Christians. Some of them weren't.

help you out.

Cartwright (09:14.83)
but it was that mindset of like the next thing that that that's where my family. All right, once we get settled, once we get past a certain point, there will be there's some there's a better tomorrow. There's something better for my family. And I don't necessarily that's why I kind of tee that up. I don't want to sit or completely bash that mindset. Oh, yeah, it's good. Yeah, there's something. Yeah. Yeah. mean, God.

put it.

Yeah, there's some level of mission, vision, whatever of what I see. but it also can take you away from the present. It could take you away from things that matter and the memories that really you're currently creating and we could easily just live that grass is green other side and completely miss the present. There's something really great. Anyway, I just think that mindset is really

hard in my twenties and thirties, especially in the context of earning money, uh, career development. I mean, even, you know, you single y'all single guy. mean, I was single until I was 36, the whole concept of just that of like, man, uh, this, all this, all this unknown and unsettledness and insecurity will go away once I get married. Yeah. Yeah. Once I started having kids, you know, that kind of thing, but you're constantly looking at it's like, man, there was something really good to find in my single years. Actually, thankfully, you know, I got a good,

enough advice, but there were moments where I missed the fun because I missed the development of just enjoying being single. And now I like, it's wild to think about it as a dad, my wife will go to town with my son and I'm like, what did I do with all my time? What the heck? But anyway, yeah, I think that is something to really hit on of like, man, to really address in your 20s and 30s of like,

Bo (10:56.824)
You

Cartwright (11:08.462)
Yeah, God's given me a vision, a calling, a career, something to really develop and grow in and move towards, but also like, how do I actually enjoy it while I'm in it?

And that is for me, one of the hardest things to do is to be where my feet are, to really be grateful. And it's almost like it's a muscle you have to work. What I'm learning is that it's not something you're always going to feel like doing, but it's something that, if you can, if you can develop this habit of being grateful for the things that you have right now, like, so instead of being like, man,

man.

And I'll be so grateful once I get X, Y, or Z. It's, well, hold on a second. Let me sit back for a second and let me be grateful for what I have right now. That's hard to do, but once you do it, you feel better on the other end. mean, it's almost like working out. you, you choose to do it. And then once you do it, you feel better. It's kind of the same thing. It's like, and it's a discipline that like, you kind of have to first, what you have to do is like, what we're doing is say it out loud.

Right.

Cartwright (12:09.806)
Yeah

Bo (12:19.566)
You know what I mean? Like shine a light on it. okay. Yeah, hold on. I do need to be great. I've got like, I've got an amazing wife, got an amazing son. We've got a home that we love. You know what mean? And instead of always being like, man, I just need to make 30 % more. You know, or I need to find this other house that we want to live in.

If we moved to this other house, we won't have the same issues with our pipes, which is a

yeah if it's not your pipes or something else the yard keeps flooding whatever yeah yeah molded

Yeah

Yeah, so I love that concept. It's something you gotta work on. I mean, every day, I'll say it for my simple, something I have to work on. And it feels good to talk about it out loud and hear yourself say it.

Cartwright (13:11.502)
You know what I mean? that- Yeah. Like, mean, this is one, I think we've talked about this boat is the concept of like, we really, the most people we admire are really enjoy being around the ones who are very present in front of us versus the guy, you you sit sat with and they're looking to the next thing or trying to find that who's walking in the door that's a little bit more important than you, that kind of guy. And you, but then you really think about even the ultimate.

man, right? Jesus, like that dude was so present, he fell asleep in the middle of the storm on a boat. They had to wake him up. know, like he was so present. like, what's the problem? You know,

happen when he would perform a miracle and then he would say, don't tell anybody yet. Let's just chill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're not ready for this yet. And Peter and all these other disciples were like, when are we going to, which is

Yes.

Cartwright (14:04.334)
good example because because they're there. He's aware of what's to come. He knows what he's moving towards, but this is a moment we're in. I don't really want, you know, a million followers on Instagram. There's scrutiny that comes with that. Anyway, how many? Oh my gosh. Well, that's the thing is there, you know, the numbers you think of on Instagram, if you've been had that.

followers would he have?

Cartwright (14:31.052)
Which is, this is, this is a rabbit trail. Sorry if you're out there, but it's a while to think about and the con God understanding the concept of completely outside of time that he chose to come in a time where there was no airplanes, no social media, no zoom calls, streaming, whatever. Right. And you're like, okay, he was, he was putting it on us. That's what he's doing. He really.

You really think about it. Like he was trying to create a regional, very regional thing. He came, you know, for the Jews kind of thing. And out of that, it would spread. And he wanted to activate the 12, which we saw, you know, within 2000 years, right? It's across a couple of oceans. You know, that's wild. every religion generally has a region to it. Except Christianity.

What do you mean, Mother?

Cartwright (15:30.914)
You know, Buddhism is more Far East. Hinduism is India. mean, Islam is more Middle East, right? Even atheism is more restricted to Western culture, Europe, North America kind of thing, you know? So it's like, it's interesting that you think of kind of that thought process, but anyway, a little bit of rabbit trail there, but anyway. Yeah. So it's.

I love that.

Yeah, mean, Christianity has shaped the world and the map that we live in. It's just, yeah. So. Can't deny it. Yeah. All right. So, you got some questions on that?

Yeah, I got some questions. Where do you see this mindset show up most in some guys today that you meet with? Like what are some areas? We've probably talked about a few.

Yeah, well, I mean, the obvious one is career and work. Yeah. Yeah. how does that, how do you see that manifest? Anxiety. Anxiety.

Bo (16:25.186)
That's mine, by the way.

Bo (16:33.662)
And because I mean, so much of it is outside of my control in a good way. Um, I used to not believe that. I think in my twenties, I thought, Oh no, I need to be in a position where I'm in control. Yeah. And because this will kind of scratch that edge of having to wait on other people or like having to wait, you know what I mean? Seriously. And, um, and so it would cause anxiety because it's like, Oh, I haven't heard.

Right.

Cartwright (16:53.484)
Wait on others, yeah man.

Bo (17:01.262)
Like this project that I'm working on, that's going to be the next Twitter is, whatever is, uh, then I'm on somebody and I haven't heard back from them. Right. You know what I mean? Or that's just a small example, but, um, so it created anxiety because it's outside of my control, which, you know, looking back, I mean, it's totally, you know, God teaching me a lesson. Like, I'm not, not as interested in you getting that result. I'm more interested in the lesson that you're learning right now.

Right?

Cartwright (17:30.146)
Yes.

Which is hard to see until you're like 10 years removed. Sometimes. But yeah, exactly. You know?

You know? I'm word for sure. Yeah, I mean, the obvious one is Matthew six, right? Do not worry about tomorrow, let tomorrow worry about self, right? And I think that is so hard. Because you're right, even in a sales role where there is a level of control at the end of the day, the older you get, the more you realize like, I can't control anybody. The only thing that I can control is me. Yeah, that's right. I can put forth the best effort and leave it all on the field mindset, right?

I hate to, this is such a cheesy term, but it's true. just go, this, all right, the result is result. God, you bring about the fruit. know, I get, whether I get paid more money or not, you know, that's a wild thought. I mean, it's the whole concept that, yeah, sometimes are we okay with.

Cartwright (18:27.5)
Yeah, leaving the result up to God, right? Leaving the result up to somebody else. That's hard. Yeah, that lack of...

control mistakes are high. Yeah. Yeah.

and we can make it, want to make it happen on our timing. I think that's sometimes where we feel like we've seen people do it on their own timing. Like I, years wanted to be a very type A driver, make things happen type personality, it just, that's what success is. Right? That's what you think. But then you start really looking at the fruit of those guys lives like,

because that's what you saw.

Cartwright (19:09.4)
divorce, broken friendships. I mean, the obvious one is like the unicorns of our generation, right? The Mark Zuckerbergs, the Elon Musk of the world, where you're like, there's something admirable about them, but also like, going back to what we've already talked about, sacrifice, like did they, in the midst of like being the driver of their own destiny, did they miss the, all right, they gave up something else.

that maybe sacrificed their joy, their happiness, their contentment, their fulfillment. And it's like, well, the grind was their fulfillment. like, okay. Yeah. know, it's like, yeah.

You've seen Social Network?

that's a great movie. 100%.

It's like when I'm probably with my top. Dude, the people that he burned to about Zuckerberg.

Bo (20:06.862)
Speaking of that, what's a mistake you see commonly made by guys that you meet within their 20s and 30s? So if you're listening to this and you hear, know, when they're in this unsettling.

Dude, this one just pop, this one is like the dating of dating via image.

What do mean?

Like the woman I'm currently with, I really love being with. She seems like she would make a great mom, great wife, super, you know, the whole like, she's, we have similar values, similar interests. We can spend large time together, but she didn't quite look like I thought the person I wanted to marry. You're like, Ooh, don't do that. Do not do that. You know, one is like the obvious thing is like, dude, you ain't no Adonis.

I didn't realize you're Bruce Wayne, six four, know, throwing 300 pounds around like, no, sorry. But two, it's like the whole, like, it's just being image conscious in your day, like constantly. Maybe that person, maybe I should have somebody that looks different or, you know, or it may not even just be looks. There could be a whole other things of like background, whatever. We constantly see.

Cartwright (21:27.389)
there could be somebody better versus like, man, could be, I'm with a great woman.

Yes, you're hitting the point of always just, it be better. It could be better. Listen to the Americas and you know, it was. I I did that by the way. But, know, man, we just, she's great, but gosh, just, if I can just give this one thing about this person or whatever, it could be better.

Yeah.

Cartwright (21:52.174)
Yeah, Sydney Sweeney's single now. Oh man. Get out of here. You know, and you're sitting there and thinking about it, man, what sustains a long-term meaningful relationship, especially in marriage is like, know, or even, know, fame, whatever, wealth, all those things do not sustain something like that. I mean, to me, it all comes down to attraction, obviously part of it, but like,

you know, like attraction, but more than that, it's like common values and common interests. Like, can you spend large amounts of time together and do you believe generally the same stuff? Yeah.

Thank goodness our wives were not into looks.

Yeah, seriously. Dude, was late thirties balding. Oh, man. And she somehow like, you know, thought I was great. She was she was 29 year old like she picked this guy. Yeah. Why would she do that?

What's something simple that guys can do that feel like they're stuck on that cycle? They're saying, hey, that's me. I'm always thinking about the next thing. I'm always, which by the way, don't not do that. Yeah, we're not saying don't stop. You guys understand the difference. But what's something simple they can do?

Cartwright (23:11.884)
Yeah,

One is, I think taking the perspective of a holistic life, like there's other areas that I can focus on in my life. And as we get obsessed in one area, success looks like only success in this area, but maybe I need to take care of my body better. Maybe I need to be in more community. you know, it's just, I think being thinking yourself as a more holistic person, like success in a holistic way, that's more meaningful.

But two is just, yeah, putting the practice of like, just putting stuff down. It's interesting, you know, the polar opposite here is when, you know, they talk about people in depression. The number one habit they deal with is rumination. They ruminate on that, on where they're at being stuck. And they just need some level of clarity of just getting out, just go do something. Or I think,

a lot of men that we're talking about on the other end of the spectrum, like they're always doing something. It's like, maybe some, how do you find that in between of like, how do I, this is what I talk about all the time, like just take stock of what's really motivating me where, really where do I want to be? Ultimately what kind of man I want to become? Is this what I want to be? Is a guy who's working 10, 12 hour days and just grinding and putting my head down and avoiding

the people in my life and, you know, only taking phone calls of someone who could help me get somewhere versus helping somebody who can't that, you know, you know, think learning that practice of one, evaluating yourself, valuating your motives and who you want to be. then two, like, okay, how do I actually just stop and be present with the person in front of me? I think that's one like, hey, just go get a dude.

Cartwright (25:09.4)
You know, I love, what's the country music home Brad, but it's time well wasted. learn to do stuff. That's just like, you know, I mean, it's just, you're, you're spending quality time with human being, you know, another human being and you're there. That's it. You're not thinking about what the result of it. You're not thinking about what this person can get me or just, just be there.

Yeah. So it's in a way shifting your mindset from drive, drive, drive, ambition, ambition to how can I add value to the people around me right now? Like what's something I can do or something that will kind of consume some of that energy, uh, and the only other thing I would add is just that gratitude piece of, of, working that muscle learning how to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's part of the, yeah, that I would say when I say reevaluate your life is one way is, yeah, one probably number one piece of that is gratitude. I'd be thankful what's, what's already right in front of you. Yeah.

What would you say to the person listening if you could just give one takeaway as we kind of close? What's one takeaway? Or the one thing that you would want them to remember from this?

Yeah. Well, I would, you know, the obvious thing is like no man's an island. You know, there is that lie going back to talking about our idea of control. You know, I think, uh, you got where you're at. You have ambition. have, um, opportunities to grow because somebody else did something for you or, you know, gave you some type of platform or.

Cartwright (26:49.474)
hired you or taught you something and just learning all, like going back, I mean, like you said, there's like a thankfulness of like, okay, this is who I am. This is where I'm going. Who has helped me get to this point? And now they're like helping me continue to grow into that person. Like I think there is something to be, allow yourself to be reflective. And I'm trying to think who was the...

famous CEO, very prominent, successful guy. I heard it recently. I'm trying to remember his name, but he's no, local guy. But he said like, the key to my success was I looked out the window for 15 minutes a day, allowing myself just to look daydream, think, you know, no computer, no phone, no nothing, no interruptions, just 15 minutes outside of just allowing myself just to

think and process and refresh and like be thankful and all those things. Like, it's like, man, the ability to do that, just put something down, you know, and like, yeah, I, yeah, I would say that's kind of like, Hey, I mean, I keep saying it again, but that, practice is huge. Yeah. And one of things that makes you do is you realize you're not an Island. You're not, you're not where you're at just because you think, cause you willed it, you know,

Yeah. Which would then force you to look back and be like, Oh, wow. no God has had my back this entire time. And what he's gotten me out of in this situation will be any different. You Um, the only thing I would add to that too, is something that works for me. Um, you hear kind of like, it's kind of like, it's a little bit hyped up to journal. Like you hear about, you know, I was like the journal. Um, I never really understood kind of the, the purpose behind it. I started doing it a few years ago. Um,

Yeah

Bo (28:47.822)
just to kind of like, almost like a brain dump sometimes. Sometimes you just to write it down. And yeah, my wife and I will do this sometimes. We both feel like we've got so much on our mind and we don't really know where to start. Just write everything down or you're feeling anxious about something, write it down. And then when you read it back, you can kind of see it from a different perspective in a way. And then also like, it's really fun to look back at stuff I wrote down two years ago.

get it out.

Bo (29:17.966)
You know, most of the time I'm like, you idiot. But there's like this, it kind of will re-energize your faith in a way, you know? What you've been through and see, you know, stuff like that. So there's plenty of things that we go back and read. My wife and I, and we're like, wow, you know, really grateful for where we are.

you've done.

Bo (29:40.672)
and never really would have thought we'd be where we are. Back then when I was so anxious about this one thing that I wanted to control, but I couldn't control that. I just wasn't settled because I wanted a little bit more. And now there's so many times where I'm like, thank you God for not giving me that thing. And then some of the times it's like, thank you God for really coming through for that thing that I And so anyway.

percent.

Cartwright (30:07.182)
Yeah, it's wild. At the end of the day, yeah, I mean, it's funny. put this as my senior verse, you know, because I went to a Christian school. We had a senior verse, right? I think Proverbs 16, nine, maybe. Many of the plans in a man's heart was the Lord purpose that prevails. Like at the end of the day, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's like, gosh, being able to write those down. And when you write it down, it's a brain dump. There's also like, almost like giving it to God. It is. Giving it like, okay. All right.

allowing it to leave your head and live somewhere else. You know, as simple as that sounds, it kind of does work that way. At for me, I don't know. I, and for my wife too, she, she's a, she's notoriously writing things down. Carly will write down like if she's running out of brain dump, her first thing we'll do be like, do a brain dump. And so she can check it off, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cartwright (31:01.486)
Gosh, that is so meta.

I can check that off.

My wife is really good about when Touchdown is anxious is writing down our prayers. And I think just like, it's just something about that as therapeutic for sure. And then you can see it and read it and you're just like, okay, God. One is like, hey, am I still honoring you in the midst of it as I read it? And I'm like, oh yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But two, it's like, okay, I'm giving this to you. it's wild, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's...

I think we could evaluate this, like career, our relationships, we could think of it in our finances. It's wild. Yeah, I just think about...

You you think about what, brought us here to the U S our ancestors, all, you know, you just put that all in context and it's this, this mode of like entrepreneurship. And then you get in the context of comparison. Like I should be here at this point and I'm not, you know, or you get to that thing that we've talked about and it's like, what's, what's the next. And you're just like, man, there's something to that momentum that is good.

Cartwright (32:21.39)
but also can be abusive and it only leads to anxiety, disappointment. Yeah. Ultimately, yeah, separation, isolation, all those things that at the end of the day really harm us. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah, well then also like entitlement or jealousy. I should have this, but this person has it, you know? And it's like, wow, it's like just all those things. I mean, I think it goes back to, you know,

which affects all the people around you.

Cartwright (32:51.426)
Is it first Timothy, know, for the, the love of money is a root of all evil. That's part of that mindset. That next thing, like I need to make more. I need to do more so I can get X like that love of money that can lead to entitlement, jealousy, isolation, all those things.

I like I'm in preachy today, Beau.

And again, I mean, just to kind of close this out. Yeah. I mean, this is going to be a common thing for us because it's a common theme for all the guys that you talk to in their twenties and thirties. Certainly something that I went through and go through, you know, all the time. I mean, it's not something that goes away. So it's going to be a common theme for a lot. think a lot of stuff that we talk about because it'll continue to come up. Cause like you said, if we talk about finances, this thing will come up. This idea that

I just want more. If I could get more, it'll come up in career because man, feel like I could, if I could just get a little bit more respect with this title, it'll come up in, if we ever talk about, you know, I don't know if you want us to talk about exercise. if I could just, if I could just have this next thing and it's not, it's not.

No, yeah, yeah.

Bo (34:09.376)
you know, isolated to one thing that men deal with. It's going to be everything. So it might be pretty, we may talk about it a lot. Yeah. I mean, I you and I have talked about it a lot. Yeah. Through your coaching of me over the last five, six years. mean, this always comes up. And so a big piece of this is like for me, it's here's somebody else talk about it that you find yourself similar to. Hopefully you and I like, same thing there. They're going through the same thing I am. Yeah. And then also

you know, I kind of like to wrap all these episodes up, but this is like, man, reach out to that person, whether it's Cartwright, somebody in your life that you can say it out loud too. Yeah. And that you can feel, I'm not the only one here, helped me come up with some ways to kind of like work on this. It doesn't affect all the people around me and that I can become the man that I want to become. Not necessarily the position I want to be.

I think that's how C.S. Lewis defined friendship. Like a man becomes friends with another man when he hears, you too? Yeah. And I think that's 100%, I think in our 20s, we are holding so much of that in because we're afraid of the judgment, we're afraid of the criticism, the belittling, the sarcasm, whatever it is versus going, dude, I hear you. Been there. Or you know what? Same.

Yeah. You know, and I think that's if we could just somehow get over that. And I think that's where, you know, a lot of close friendships are developed is because you find people going, I hear him the same. Yeah. You know, versus what are you? I don't want to go there, but anyway.

That's what you said. think you said one of the other says you ain't special.

Cartwright (35:55.668)
You ain't special. exactly. Yeah, I don't. But yeah, think that's where friendship is really built depth is when you you're willing to share something like that and get a find out. You almost like test the waters. Like, hey, are you are you with me? Are you willing to hear me? Are you willing to stand with me in this or you just want to step back and distance yourself from me? Yeah. Play some more.

place yourself at a superior level of, I don't deal with that, which is nonsense, you know? But I think a lot of us have built that practice up, unfortunately. Yeah. Because we think that's how you talk to other men is through superiority and...

And a lot of guys have seen it in the men that they look up to too. You know, around them as they were developing in the men, they were around men that are dealing with what they all love. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That level of humility is just really attractive. Yeah. Anyway.

All right, well, the call to action. Guys, talk to somebody. If you feel like this is something that you can relate to, which I bet you can, if you're in your 20s and 30s, please continue to listen to these episodes. We're going to talk about more stuff like this. And then also get in touch here at the Center for Executive Leadership, particularly Cartwright, and talk it out. Join in the struggle with us.

Cartwright (37:22.73)
Yeah, there you go. That's great way to it. Join the forging. The forging process.

Join the.