How the Gospel Simplifies Your Purpose—And Why Overcomplicating It Keeps You Stuck | Episode 156

Most men are unknowingly living beneath their true identity — thinking success, performance, or achievement is what makes them acceptable. What if the key to finding peace, purpose, and confidence isn't in striving harder but in understanding who you truly are in God's eyes? This episode unveils a transformative perspective: real freedom begins when you realize you’re already accepted and loved, not because of what you do, but because of what Jesus has already done.

Cartwright Morris and Bo Morgan dives deep into a revelation that could shift your entire outlook: striving for God's love is actually a denial of the cross. When you try to work for acceptance, you're hinting that His sacrifice wasn’t enough. Instead, he explains how Jesus models everything we need—starting from a place of already being loved, approved, and pleased. We explore how this radical truth can free you from the endless cycle of performance, anxiety, and comparison, helping you rest in your identity as God's beloved.You'll discover how the gospel marinating in your heart, like Jesus’ baptism moment where God affirms “This is my Son,” can reignite your sense of purpose. We break down how American church culture, with its layers of tradition and self-made rules, often obscures the simple truth of grace. 

Cartwright and Bo shares practical steps—like carving out intentional silence, asking honest questions, and learning to sit vulnerable before God—that will help you realign your heart and live out of a place of rest rather than effort.This episode matters because the alternative—living in constant striving—produces exhaustion, pride, and relational turmoil. But understanding your true worth and purpose rooted in Christ opens space for trust, peace, and authentic influence. Whether you're in your twenties, thirties, or beyond, recognizing you're already accepted by Jesus shifts everything. It’s an invitation to step into a life where your identity fuels your calling, not the other way around.If you're tired of performing to earn love or approval—this one is for you. Perfect for men seeking clarity, freedom, and a renewed sense of purpose grounded in grace. Tune in to discover how embracing your real self in Christ can be the most empowering act of faith you'll ever do.

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Transcript

Cartwright Morris (00:09.134)
Hey, can I throw a curveball at you real quick? Yeah. So we had a topic we're going to talk about in a second, but I've had a...

from the last time we talked, I've had this recurring thought over and over and over again that just stuck with me. I don't remember if it was a quote that you said or if it was a quote from something we were reading, but, and I sent you a little bitty clip. It's cool you didn't respond, worries.

Cartwright Morris (00:44.852)
I know you talk about John. It was the pastor from Texas talking about what ouster pegs about the thief. Okay. Yeah. He was sounding like a Scottish guy or something like that. but it like it was from years ago. Anyway, the thought that I continue to have in my head is like, if, if I continue to strive and try to perform, then I am

Basically, I'm acknowledging or admitting that Jesus died for nothing. Yep. Like if I continue to try to push and strive and try to perform for him or do certain, you know, whatever that looks like for tons of guys our age, cause we talked to him and it's like by performing, trying to perform for him and trying to work.

for his love and not from his love, you're acknowledging that he died for nothing. And man, that's just like stuck in my brain. And in a good way. It's a really cool reminder, because it's like...

Gosh, there's nothing, you know, I keep trying to strive and do and perform and do these things and prove that I'm good or a good Christian quote unquote, or, know, a good guy, a good father, good husband. And those things are great to strive for. not saying that, but when you turn it into, I'm doing this so that, you know, Jesus will love me. And it's not so much that you're like, you're saying every day, I got to do this. So Jesus will love me. It's just kind of like embedded in us in a way.

Anyway, that stuck in my head. you, if you're striving, if you're working for his love, then you're acknowledging that none of this, that he died for nothing or in that none of this is really true. And that's like, it's like really been.

Cartwright Morris (02:37.01)
shifting my perspective and kind of rattling around in my brain in a good way. Right. But it's kind of crazy. It just hasn't gone away. man. Yeah, because like what it is is the gospel just like marinating into you. Like yeah, that we just wouldn't...

You know, it's almost like when we get married, we don't fully really grasp what it means to be a husband, right? Same way, I think, in us coming to Jesus. Like, we don't fully understand what He's done for us and what has got us into relationship with Him. And, I mean, I've been going through Galatians, through a group of guys. That's why I always remember Galatians 2.21, you know?

If the law saves us, then Christ died for nothing, right? To lie what you're saying. But Paul even goes into chapter 3, it's like the promise was given way before the law came into existence. In the same way, you wouldn't like after the will has been fulfilled, when someone dies, you wouldn't go back and try to revise it. It's been done. It's been fulfilled. That's what happened with the cross, right? And so it's interesting.

that we try to, yeah, getting in that mindset of like, hey, wow, I'm acting if Christ died for nothing.

I think my actions are bigger than his actions. Which is like, whoa. Yeah, I think that's the, I what you just said is the humbling part. By doing these things, I'm acting that my actions are bigger than his. Yeah, which is nonsense. Which is nonsense. If we truly profess to believe in who he is, then you're a hypocrite, you're a blasphemer even. Yeah.

Cartwright Morris (04:26.914)
Yeah. Woo! Yeah. like, hey, Beau and guys our age, just kind of calm down a little.

Stop striving, the striving, and striving's kind of the churchy phrase, it works perfectly. feel like you're working towards it, you're trying to work for it, you're trying to do, and again, it's not like a direct response, like, today I gotta wake up and I have to work for.

my salvation or anything like that. It's just kind of what you fall into naturally if you don't remind yourself of that. You know what mean? It's kind of like you don't do it on purpose, but then you kind of, you know, all the bad fruit from that will start to rise up and you're like, now I understand what I'm doing. I'm trying to, I'm trying to perform for acceptance.

by him and even by other people that love you, not from acceptance. And when you work from acceptance, completely, you know, you're at peace and then you're, you just, I don't know, things just kind of fall into place. Like you just have this like more trust and like, yeah, total peace about it. And then you can just kind of like,

relax a little bit. I that's what I'm trying to say. Just relax. And what we forget is Jesus modeled this. That before he performed any miracle or started his ministry or preached any sermon, you know, we had the moment of him being baptized by John the Baptist and it was, you know, a voice came out of heaven. This is my son.

Cartwright Morris (06:15.182)
in whom I'm well pleased before he did anything. So Jesus was not living from a place of working for, striving towards, I'm doing all this because I want the Father's approval. like, no, I already got it. I'm good. I'm set in that place. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And so, yeah, this is my son who I am well pleased. If we could somehow...

ingrain that in us. You know, many churches we try to preach that there's the well-done good faithful servant at the end of our life. It's like you're not going to get there on your own power, your own strength. If it was under your own power, your own strength, then it's going to be very subjective. That's what we miss, I think, as a church is we miss there's this subjective part within our own power. We're going to make up our own rules, our own idea of what it looks like for acceptance.

And we see it throughout history, we see it even modern day. Churches just have different varieties of what it looks like to be a Christian, because they have their own little subcultures. And at end of the day, the cross kind of wipes all that clean. And this is clearly objective. I'm accepted because of what he did.

done done. Yeah. Nothing else really works. But we, we come up with it. It's all, it all looks different. Yeah. It's like, Bo, you've been reading your Bible every day, but you don't speak in tongues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, you didn't, you know, pray for the sick or you didn't, you know, go take care of the homeless. didn't slip into religion. Yeah. You slip easily and you, we all make up our own little thing, you know, you know, but you've been divorced. Yeah.

You know, we just put all those little stigmas on this stuff where Jesus on the cross said, I paid it all. All of it. Yeah.

Cartwright Morris (08:03.214)
All of it, present, past and future. You know, it's like that's what's wild about it. It's like he had a 2000 years ago, he did something that stretched across time, which we can't in our human minds, can't fathom. That's why it's so hard because we can't control or understand that. So we just try to control, do what we control. It's like, Ooh, let me make up little rules. You know, you know, anyway. then.

You we have... Yeah, I think you said this last time. It makes a lot of sense. I think some of that stuff is good. So like, naturally as humans we'll be like, okay, we understand and that it's all been paid for. But then as you add in hundreds and thousands of years of time into any type of organization like the church, you know, who's built on that concept that Jesus is the Messiah, that he did pay for everything.

this is how we gather and worship Him or whatever. You see what saying? Like you add hundreds of years of time, thousands of years of time, and you look up and you're like, gosh, we're doing this step in order to do this step, and then we're, because that's how it's human. like in any organization you build systems and you build processes and the next thing you know, you look back and you're like, man, we are once again putting these steps in and then we pervert that into working back towards Him. When really it's

starts from him. doesn't work towards him. You know what saying? So it's kind of... I mean the whole thing's backwards. I mean it's like we've said like the... What's the triangle you showed me the one time? The whole thing's upside down. Yes, yes. It's upside down kingdom. It's an upside down kingdom. I mean the whole thing is flipped. Yeah. So like in every other way that we view the world and interact with this world, you take our...

You know our beliefs and Jesus and our relationship with Jesus and you take that and it's flipped. Yeah Well, I mean Jesus like saw like all the disciples and naturally a bunch of dudes in their 20s They're all beating their chests like I'm gonna be the greatest I'm gonna be the greatest like they're all Muhammad Ali or something, right? Jesus goes, okay, you want to great? Be like that child. Yeah You know sacrifice yourself Think childlike be, you know, yeah

Cartwright Morris (10:25.932)
You know, yeah, what does a child do? A child knows they're loved and they act from that place of like, I'm completely, when they're safe, you know, what did they say? Is your kid usually acts the craziest, the most misbehave is when they're with their parents is because they feel the most safe. like, it's just, anyway, yeah, we just, we try to put a little, our own ideas to it and.

add to it and we just kind of we missed the mark. Always missed the mark. that's where I think you know some of the discussions and stuff content I'm creating is like that's why identity purpose has to come from our identity. We have that resting truth about who we are in Jesus.

begin to explore that's when purpose and calling. But too many... To your point, what you're saying is when we try to create all this structure and things, it's like people put their calling and their purpose above who they are in Christ. Yeah. You know, and miss the sonship, the childlikeness, the... I can absolutely relate to that. You know, it's like, is what it's all about. I got to... And what ends up happening. I'm like, this is... I feel like I've seen this being someone who's worked for several ministries and been involved in different churches.

is like when you believe that you are doing the most important thing on the planet, that's when you fail. That's when arrogance comes in. know, man, that's wild. Yeah, and that's... It's really easy to do that like in your, in any business that you're in or like you said, ministry. mean, because to you, I mean, that is the biggest thing on the planet. Uh-huh. You know, and then...

Yeah, and then you can just naturally see how pride is a perfect sidekick for that type of thinking. You know, what I do is most important. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I think the striving piece is what comes in is when we miss the gospel. Okay, Jesus paid it all. He's done it.

Cartwright Morris (12:25.23)
It's like, okay, well, then now out of that, he's given me this little sliver of the kingdom to own here in this life versus, wow. Now there's this internal orphan driving me of like, I have to be the best. I have to be the most important because then God will bless me, love me, accept me, you know, right? Then this, that, that it's just versus like,

I already know I'm loved and I think, and he's given me this piece to own, to be responsible for, and I'm just gonna do that really well. And I'm gonna celebrate those who have their own. And I'm gonna say, good for you, go for that, do that. And celebrate them, support them, then vice versa, right? But we all get territorial, right? Because it's like, ooh. Yeah, we wanna be the greatest and we start knocking people out of the way and putting them down, talking bad behind their back or.

saying, they're not real followers of Jesus. You know, we just, we're just nonsense humans. We just love to mess with stuff and, and yeah, anyway, there you go. Bo, you got me, you got me a rant. Yeah, that was a random car. didn't see that coming. So I wanted to make sure you're on your toes. Have you had your afternoon coffee yet? No, was just thinking about that. I kind of wanted to know. No, but for real, that was like,

That's just been, it's been really, really great. It's just been rattling around in my brain in the best kind of way because it's like, it's the most like elementary part, I feel like of Christianity because if that's not true, then the whole thing is false. You know what I mean? I don't remember with Paul Klaue, you could probably say it, but like, if he's not, if what he's saying is not true, all of it.

to where I died so that you don't have to perform. I'm, you know, obviously he says it different way. Then if that's not true, and I feel like I still have to perform, well then Jesus was.

Cartwright Morris (14:32.142)
I could just see Jesus being like, I mean, you call me a liar? Right. Yeah. You know what mean? Why are you working so hard for this, Am I not telling you the truth? Am I not good enough? Am I the crazy one? Or am I a liar, right? It's like, see this, he's either a liar or That's what it is. Or a person. he's a madman. Yeah. But it's interesting, we're still wrestling with this today. I mean, there are people who would say they are of the Christian faith and denominations.

or affiliate to the Christian Church and say that...

You know, they still got, are we still, cause what is the man's reasoning for this? And this is what was happening in Galatians. And even, 2000 years ago that's happening today is it's irresponsible. If obedience isn't part of the equation of our salvation or even our justification, then if we don't have a control how we work for it, then that's irresponsible. You're giving people license to be horrible people. Yeah. It's like, no, it's like,

what's Vaude, what's his name, starts with a B. But anyway, he just passed recently actually. He said the faith and repentance is what the gospel requires. That's the only thing it requires. It does not require obedience. It produces it. Grace will always call us higher than the law ever will.

because we're living out of relationship. You know? Yeah, and the most, and I just like, the coolest thing ever, that was in that clip that I showed you. Maybe we can share it or something, I don't know. But this, is he a preacher? He's a minister? I don't know what he is. Oh yeah, yeah, he's a Scottish. He's Scottish. He's got the amazing accent. But he basically, gives the visual.

Cartwright Morris (16:24.782)
of the thief on the cross and basically he's like you know at first you know he the thief on the cross is kind of um you know even maybe mocking him a little bit and then finally he he comes to the realization that like

Oh no, this guy is legit. And then that's when he asked him, what does he ask him? I don't want him to screw it up, but basically like, hey, can I be with you? Yeah. Please remember me. Please remember me. Thank you. Yeah, remember me. And has no idea who Jesus is probably. But then a glimpse. And then he dies and then they give this great like, kind of like thinking exercise of like this guy makes it into heaven. And then.

people may be asking him in heaven and this is not theological but it's in a message like hey how did you get here and the guy's like I don't know yeah yeah exactly I know some grand doctrine no one baptized he had never said the creed he had never done any of those things he literally just put his faith in this random guy next to him on a cross and then he was in heaven he didn't even who he was yeah so mean how cool is that yeah you know I mean he's like

I don't even know how I got here. didn't do anything. Which should be the most humbling thing is us as Christians and unfortunately, but this is going back to striving part, our arrogance takes over and then we start, right, holding on to what we think makes us great. And at the end of the day, it's just Him that makes us great. But the humbling part of...

And this is where we all fit in that we sometimes forget because we think we all that we know. But that guy saw a glimpse of who he was. He didn't really know fully who he was, but he saw a glimpse. He said, I want to trust and put faith in that guy. The glimpse that he saw. Right. And we all like are looking through a keyhole into the vastness of the creator of the universe. Right. The massive. And we're all looking through this small and like we don't really know.

Cartwright Morris (18:24.504)
fully who he is. But the part that we do know is saying, I put my hope and trust in you and who you are. Yeah, I the guy and the guy, I just keep thinking about that. The thief, he never did anything.

He never performed in any kind of way. Never went to a church service. Never went to a church service. probably, he probably worshiped, didn't the Romans worship all kind of gods back then? I guess he was Jewish. He was Jewish. If he was Jewish, But maybe heard the Torah. Yeah, but that's besides the point. The point is...

He gets into heaven and they're like, how did you get here? And he's like, well, he let me in. You know who he is? Yeah. I was next to that guy. So here I am and guys like me in our twenties and thirties and it's like, you know, you want to do the right thing. So you want to do these. You want to make sure you're, you're up to snuff with, with what the Bible says and all that's good, but it's not what gets you there. And it's just like, man, separating those two things is so powerful. Yeah.

and gives so much peace. I mean, you know, I've been in Bible school, so I've gone to church my whole life, but I feel like there is a really, probably a better opportunity for people our age to hear that. Yeah. Just that like base foundational stuff. Cause it's really fun to get into deep stuff and do the things that we do. and, but, but man, you don't work from this. Not because it's like,

choice. It's not a choice. You don't get to work for it. And that kind of helps you sleep a little bit better. Yeah. Thanks for letting me do that rabbit hole. Yeah. No, that's good. And I think it probably filters into what we're about to talk about. I'm just, yeah, it's a thought that we got to preach to ourself every day. Yeah, absolutely.

Cartwright Morris (20:21.28)
You want me to introduce the question? Yeah, yeah. for it. So, there's this cool quote by John Calvin, and you're right, I mean, I think it really does go into it, but caught right with seeing this and it's really, I mean, it's kind of spot on with what we always talk about here, but it kind of gives a cool perspective. And so John Calvin says, without knowledge of self, there's no knowledge of God.

or wisdom insofar as it ought to be deemed true and solid wisdom, consist almost entirely of two parts, the knowledge of God and of ourselves. But as these are connected by many ties, it is not easy to determine which of the two proceeds and gives birth to the other. So without knowledge of self, there is no knowledge of God. Talk about that for a sec. Yeah, and I was kind of even wanting to bring up John 17.3 here.

you this is eternal life, that I may know you, the one true God, the one whom you have sent, Jesus Christ, right? That this is eternal life is actually not just knowledge, but truly knowing of Him.

Which is so funny. I I don't want to get into a freaking word study here, but you know, just the, you know, the English language has so few words for some massive words where like, you know, in Hebrew there was the word, there's the knowledge, the head knowledge of something versus the intimate knowledge of something like Adam knew even they can see the sun, meaning there was intimacy. Right. I think that's what, John 17 is trying to get at. And even John Calvin is like,

I think it even connects to the Great Commandment, the greatest commandment, love your neighbor as yourself. Love my neighbor as yourself. When I learned to really know how to love myself, I developed that empathy that I didn't love Bo well. Right?

Cartwright Morris (22:20.682)
So how do we, know, so anyway, I guess my encouragement is or even thought with even bringing up this quote from John Calvin that there's something to like there's no separation. I think in modern Christianity, Christianity that's been trying to infiltrate the Christian understanding of this concept that, you know, it's even I would say a verse we misuse is the John the Baptist quote, I must decrease so he must increase.

John Baptist meant that in the context of ministry. didn't mean that in the context of self. Meaning, when we truly allow God to be in our lives, we understand fully how He designed us and created us. There's no separation. Those who give up their life for my sake will find it. You actually find the thing you've been looking for. So I think that's something to...

It's interesting that John, he does put it where it's like, I don't know which one comes first. It's like, yeah, anyway, this is a very broad topic than I could go many directions because even we're seeing in science these days, people that just even just looking at the human eye and trying to understand the human eye begin to like know God and proof the existence of Christ. It's like, what? Anyway, that's a whole probably different topic.

Cartwright Morris (23:47.353)
But I don't know, think maybe I should probably just talk maybe less theoretical and more my own life. It's like. Well why do you think it's so hard for guys in their 20s and 30s to really see themselves clearly? Well one is. It's because they're doing it out of order kind of way. like. Well going back to the gospel, I think there's such a.

There's maybe a personal disdain for self. They have been living their life solely by what they can do and achieve. That therefore, and this is the success, this is the fruit of what I have, therefore I hate myself.

Because this is all I got and I'm constantly comparing myself to other people and gaining their acceptance. always going to be somebody better at what they do than what you do. But when you start really trying to grasp the gospel and who Jesus is, you live from that acceptance. You then could go, oh, he has a plan for me. He has a civic design for me. And it doesn't have to look like the guy next to me. Right. That's what I was about to say. And that's what I mean.

gonna be somebody better like if you're in sales there's always gonna be a better sales guy oh yeah or if you're a CEO there's always gonna be a better CEO but when you yeah athletes same thing so like for anything so like when you when you first when you go to in relationship with God and Jesus to kind of understand yourself better then you understand how unique you are yeah

And it's not so much about, it's about your identity, not so much what you do. And so I think, is that what you were saying? like guys our age are like, this is what I do.

Cartwright Morris (25:35.863)
So this is who I am. Right. And when you do that, you're going to be like, man, there's a lot of guys better at this than me. if this is it, then I don't match up at all. And you think, and you're probably looking at a smaller pool, like your friend group and the people you know. And so you're like, man, I'm not even better than them, let alone the guy.

in Atlanta or Nashville who's making twice as much as me. Right. And you just you can just kind of start spiraling. And I think there is a I would say there's a level of self loathing, a disdain for oneself, this self belief that I am not enough, never be enough.

And so therefore, the desire to know that guy is very limited. How do I stuff that thought down? How do I avoid that thought? I I would say that's the way I live, especially early 20s, mid 20s, because I just fully believe...

I'll never make as much money as that guy. I'll never be as good as job. don't even know what, you this is why I think a lot of times you have conversations with guys who are 20s, like, wanna know my purpose. What's my purpose? What's my purpose? What's my purpose? Right? Cause you want it, you have something that you get up and you're excited about and then you make a good living and live more the lifestyle that you wanna live.

That's what we call purpose. Versus like, your purpose, once it comes out of who you are, you got to go through an exploratory journey of knowing who God is and who you are before you could ever really get to your purpose. So it's so natural to, so, mean, anger is defined as not meeting an expectation you have. And so if your expectation is my purpose is this job to do this thing, I'm going be really good at it. I'm going make a lot of money and I'm going to go to

Cartwright Morris (27:26.768)
a good work-life balance or whatever that may be, know, then, you know, that's not really what... I don't think that's what God's interested in. You know, maybe that's bad theology, but I don't think that's what he's interested in. I think he's interested in, hey, I want to know you, and I want to do this journey with you, and is that kind of what you're saying? Because that registers with me big time. Oh, yeah. You know what mean? Yeah. My purpose to guys our age are like...

Again, this is the job. Well, I'm not happy in this job, so it must not be my purpose. It's like, you're missing the work. Talk to me, by the way, like in my past jobs I've had and stuff like that, you know, like, and so you naturally create an expectation. And when that expectation is not met because you're the one that's trying to get those things.

then there comes the bad fruit, right? Like what you're talking about, anxiety, anger, depression, disappointment, just an endless cycle. So you, so that we can naturally kind of correlate the two things, all those, all the bad fruit that's coming from it and us searching, and searching for our purpose when it's totally detached from God in a way. yeah. But what we want God is an add on.

In case he can, you know, in case it's not really working out, he can sprinkle whatever little dust and we'll pray a nice little prayer and you know, you know, and, and yeah, we, like, we create our own little lot. And this is what I did big time is you like compartmentalize your life. Like, all right, God, I've got to try to figure all this out. You can take this little area, but Hey, when I started the part that I want to control and have

And I don't want you to touch when that starts failing you have to make it work or I don't believe in you Or you're not really close. Yeah, exactly. We treat God like Santa Claus But I think yeah, I think that the lack of desire to know oneself and then Truly understand who God is and what he has for me

Cartwright Morris (29:33.5)
I think yeah, that journey has to start with one humility, but also desire a true like

You know, Calvin says he doesn't know which one begets the other. Maybe, I don't know, I'm working this out in my head. Because maybe there was a desire for me to really grow and be a better person and therefore it led to me really pursuing and knowing God deeply. I had to know him for myself. think every time I would say at 26, I knew God, the one that was taught to me in school.

church and by my parents and what the people around me told me live in that little bubble. you read the Bible through that lens, that little silo. And I'm like, I had to step out of my normal. I think we talked about that last week, stepping out from the ordinary, because then I had to really go, you know, all that stuff may be good. It could help. But it shouldn't be the deepest part of why I know God and who He is. I have to go knowing for myself. So I think maybe that was a starting of.

I didn't really like myself, but I want and this is the only life I got is the only self I've got yeah So I got to go figure out how to live with that and it led me to the pursuit of God So maybe there was that one led to the other I don't know but sometimes I always my initial thought when I hear that is like no I think knowledge of God leads to knowledge of self. Mm-hmm But maybe it is I don't know maybe you're still following that path. You're just yeah, guess what you're saying is like

To it feels like you're going to step two to go to step one and then back to step two. When really what you're saying is just go from one to two. Again, the order that I put around everything and it doesn't really... It doesn't have to be that. But that's what I hear that quote. Do you see how naturally I do that though? I'm naturally like, well, step one, step two, step three. Jesus, is that right? Perfect. All right, here we go. Well, I'm feeling the temptation too right now, though. I'm a little bit annoyed by Calvin's quote.

Cartwright Morris (31:40.897)
quote right there. But I'm like, but it is. It does. It's weird in my mind. I'm like, automatically I go, yeah, knowledge of God leads to knowledge of self.

Because I got to know God and I pursued Him, He then opened up my heart to understand and value me, my difference, my personality, where before I pushed it aside. And even, I even cursed myself. I hated the way I saw the world. I wish I was more of a grinder, a type A, a get stuff done guy. It's just not me. I'm just a more laid back person. It's just a him.

And so I'm automatically go, that's what happened. But now as I'm sitting there playing it out in my head, I'm like, no, think there was like, I had this personal disdain, dislike for myself.

But I kind of came to the conclusion like, this is the one body. This is the one self I've got. I got to figure out how to love it and live in it for the rest of my life. Right. Yeah. And that then led me to God. I don't know the chicken or the egg here, but I mean, it's always such a, you and I always talk about this, but it's hard to put steps around a God who lives outside of time. Yeah. Who doesn't think linearly, you know? Yeah.

Not at all. And that can be very confusing. I mean the Psalmist talked about the Son of God dying before the foundations of the world.

Cartwright Morris (33:14.126)
Like, wait, how does that sense work? He doesn't come for another like a thousand years after David But you're saying he died before the foundations the beginning. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's like we just studied a revelation in our Bible. Yeah, we did it all last year or the year before I remember it was really really good and one of the biggest things I took away from it is You know, we're always trying to put dates on this book

You know, when this happens, then Jesus comes back. Or if this happens, when you see this happen, then you really know. And maybe some of that ends up being true. I don't know, but we have to remember that He's spatial.

So just because it's in chapter one of Revelation doesn't mean that something in chapter seven doesn't happen before it. he's not limited to time. Anyway, that's a rabbit hole. about that. But, you know, it's good. Yeah. You know I mean? That's where I think, watching the movie Interstellar, you see that one where I'm like, it almost brings up this perspective of like, time is this created thing. Yeah. It's when they go to the planet and time like accelerates. Yeah. You know I mean? Like,

If they're on the planet for like seven minutes, that's like 30 years or something like that, right? Yeah, so like yeah. Yeah, sorry What were you saying? But so it's like it makes you think time is this created thing that God exists outside of yeah that he can jump in and out and like Okay, this hasn't happened yet. So this can't happen right? know me talking about man, I don't think that I don't think it You know, I don't think it works that way. I Don't know

Anyway, yeah, sorry guys. We're not really we're probably proposing more questions than answers here, but Yeah Please submit your questions. That would help. Yeah, but but I think there's something about the quote Going back to John Calvin some of y'all make bristle at John Calvin. I get it. He's got he's got some flaws But there is something to that I think the thought exercise that I love with for men in their 20s and early 30s is figuring this out of like Okay

Cartwright Morris (35:26.668)
They happen, they're intertwined, they're interconnected. It's like if you're reading your Bible and you're truly waking up every day wanting to know God, to understand that this is eternal life and being in relation to them, what's gonna come to surface is more of who I am.

It's like, what's my personality? How do I respond in certain situations? What do I love? What do hate? What do I fear? All those things, you have to go on that journey simultaneously with knowing God. Those things have to happen. But too many times as Christians, like, it doesn't matter. I don't matter. It's like that dumb...

I love this quote. Some people say it's like when Christians get up and share their testimony or even share a message and people come and say, hey man, that a great job. And they go, you know, it was just Jesus. It was all Jesus. And the best response is, well, it wasn't that good. And it's like, we had this like false sense of humility of like, have to downplay us. have the sermon on the mouth.

Believe me, God... Yeah, exactly. Let's throw them out. It's like, believe me, God is okay with you being fully you because He created you. Yeah. If there's more of God, there's more of you and the best parts of you. But most of the time we think, if there's more of me, that's more bad. That's where arrogance comes in. It's like, no, think you're fully... Yourself is fully weighted, grounded by...

who God is. If you fully know who God is, you're never going to put yourself above that. No, and you're also going to realize how much you need Him. Yeah, this is tethered. This is thinking who you are exists solely because He exists. Yeah, so the more you seek Him, and then in turn you start to understand and see your life kind of more in a better perspective, the more you're like, wow.

Cartwright Morris (37:32.033)
I can't do this the way I need you really bad. It's kind of like a loop. You're seeking him to understand more about yourself and to know and love him. And then you kind of go around and you loop again to realize, I need him so much. And then you do it more. To me, it's kind of I don't know, maybe I'm doing the steps again. I think I am actually. Well, me, if I could throw you a curve ball, because there's something,

been happening in and around my life with people I know but it's you know I was having a discussion the other day with my wife and it's interesting how she put it but it's like

You have to go on this journey now, especially as a single man in your 20s.

knowing God, being grounded in Him, and therefore out of that you start learning and knowing yourself and valuing. You've got to value it. Once you see it come to surface, not like pushing it aside and wishing it on somebody else, but valuing that person who you designed you to be. Because I think what happens then is you start, life starts to happen. Pressures mount. You get more responsibility at work, more responsibility at home. You become a husband, and that starts taking on its place, and then you become a father.

What happens, speaking of forging, that pressure comes and that cook, know, that there's a testing and the good and the bad rise to the surface. And you start finding out more about yourself and stuff that you didn't, right? And what's, and there is, I would say as men, things come out, things happen.

Cartwright Morris (39:20.556)
Right? And we have to be willing to pivot, adjust, understand truly what makes us, you know, over.

certain things. I don't know. Because I think sometimes we try to carry the stuff from our single life that we think we like and we think we need into our marriage and fatherhood. And then we start failing as a husband and father because we think we need the stuff that we had in our singles life. Anyway. Well, it makes me think about the conversation we had about sacrifice. I've been thinking about that a lot too, by the way. If you want to be, I don't know if this is a example or not, but

If you, you know, we all desire to be married and have kids for the most part, I would imagine if you want to do those things, then there is sacrifice. And so if you want to bring along everything that you used to do into this new season of life, new chapter of life, it's probably not going to work out too great. No. We were just talking about the Braves. By the way, I'm very upset about the Braves. Yeah.

The opening day is on Friday, by the way. Did you know that? Oh man, it is, it? Yeah, we the Royals. Thankfully, that's on ESPN because the Braves decided that they're going to start their own TV network and charge us all $100 for it. Anyway, Cartwrights heard all that. I came inventing about it. But I used to like, man, I remember like,

When I first got into coaching, like needed something to sink my teeth into, especially, especially during the summer, because things would slow down and that's when things were the go with the hardest when you're coaching football. And so I remember that first summer, man, I was like, all right, I'm going to like know the Braves, understand the Braves, get into the analytics. I just need to like sink my energy into this because I'm not coaching anymore and I'm home at five and I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

Cartwright Morris (41:24.708)
Anyway, I used to watch Braids every night. Oh wow. And every night, almost every pitch. And Carly was cool with it. This is early in our marriage. She was cool with it. She actually kind of liked watching them too a little bit. But anyway, don't think that, well, last season...

I certainly had to sacrifice that with Eli. So, and I didn't want to, but I quickly figured out, okay, this is something that I got to scrap. I can't get into it like I normally do because we're doing bath and bedtime and I'm not going to be the guy like sitting in the lazy boy watching the Braves while Eli's being put down. you turn the water off?

Small see is talking about the 95 season be quiet keep it down So I'm about the glory days anyway, that's a funny example, but it is kind of I mean really you have to sacrifice things 100 % Yeah, yeah Yeah, is that we were talking about? No, I just think there is something to yeah

But you had a knowledge of self of like, no, this is the kind of dad I'm going to be. Well, Carla gave me that knowledge of self. Wives are good about that. No, I think I did. Like, I didn't realize I chewed gum that loud. I thought I was a pretty normal guy chewing gum. But apparently I'm annoying when I chew gum. No, think you're right. I did. I did. It was like, OK.

you know, and this wasn't a conversation or anything. It wasn't a big deal. I didn't have to come to do a session with you or anything to figure this out. Like some things I do, you know, but, but yeah, I mean, I think that's just kind of, a small example of like, yeah, man, if you want to, if you want to do the, be married and have kids and, know, you certainly can't do what you did in your twenties. mean, there's no way. Yeah. People go to what's the brewery over there.

Cartwright Morris (43:26.766)
I saw it such an old fart. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? are the kids going over? What's it called? Oh, with the good burger. Oh, thank God. It's a porch. No, no. Back 40. Back 40. There it is. Back 40. Um, but yeah, people, we see, remember like in your early, get back 40 every night and hang out. Yeah. You can say as long as you want. Can't do that anymore. No. You know I mean? But I'd much rather have it the way we have it now than.

If I were still at Back 40, then that would probably be a problem. That's what I'm saying. Some guys are. I mean, I hate to say this has led to many, many things. It's not everybody. The reason why they're divorced or family's falling apart is, but there is like a, like a pressure that goes, okay, I got to, some stuff has to go away, die off, maybe not completely, or I have to reset and in my relationship with God and understanding myself.

like readjust like I may need some certain things that help me thrive but you know it's just wild that that that we get put in certain lights life positions and responsibilities rise and the pressure comes

And what comes out is wild. At my age, how you're starting to see marriages crumble. If you're not able to sacrifice anything and you try to do it all, you're going to do everything really badly. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, the fruit of it is, like we're seeing it, like marriages crumble. People either lose jobs or families fall apart. And you're just like, stuff that is, you know, God would never want.

It's wild, like, you know, it's like, man, I think if people truly...

Cartwright Morris (45:16.462)
went on this journey before they stepped into all this stuff, you'd be able to the pressures a lot more. And live in that more reflective nature of who you are, who God is, and you can kind of be more prepared. Not as impulsive. Yeah. You're not going to hit the detonator blow up button as quickly. Yeah. with all those things,

I think comes from some self-awareness. Yeah. I feel like, know, anyway, I have a closing question for you. Okay. That's gonna make this whole thing come together. together. The heavens open. And it's gonna be in order. Yeah, good. way it needs to be in order. Step one, step two. All right.

So you're guy in your twenties and thirties, right? You're this. Well, you're 41. Yeah, you're old. but you're listening to this. You're in your twenties and thirties. you're feeling a little bit confused and lost in life, which by the way, welcome to the club. It's all good. your identity, your purpose, your direction, all the things that we just talked about that John Calvin had in his quote, right? Where should they start?

So like what would be, hey, I need to learn more about myself. I need some of this perspective in my life. I don't even really know what that looks like. What can I do about it? But for real.

Well, from 1099, you can sign up for a coaching session with Karney for tonight. Yeah. Learning more about themselves and then learning more about God. How does this work? I'm curious. Like you see what I'm saying? I I'll say what I started with is I was, I was so terrified of the discomfort of silence. So terrified to sit alone with my own thoughts. But once I went on this journey, I sort of like it actually.

Cartwright Morris (47:30.156)
I used to think I was an extroverted person because that's where I got validation. I got love I got affection, but I lived and died off of that. Where now I look back I'm like I'm pretty introverted guy with extroverted qualities because I do love spending time alone and recharging by myself and I think that's where if you could lean into the discomfort of whether it's journaling whether it's coming before God with questions Being and sitting in the silence and waiting for an answer

That's hard. I get it. If you need to put it as in pouch do it, you know To kind of help you focus because I get it your burnt mate your brine. It'll be that words are hard I need a Zen pouch You know your brain can wander your brain could take and I would say sometimes that's okay But allow yourself to have the TV off your phone away from you. That's hard, know Yeah, and just hard for me proposed questions to God

He leads you to Scripture, he leads you Scripture. If you don't believe that God speaks to us outside of Scripture, well guess that's probably a you problem. But what you're saying is take a step towards Him. Yeah. And be okay with the discomfort of it. And be okay with the discomfort of it. And if you're like me and you're like...

What does that mean? What is taking a step toward? Ask him. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Be in a relationship with him. I know what guys are thinking because I am that guy. I'm wanting to be like, no, no, no, Cartwright didn't answer my question. Tell me exactly what I need to do Thursday morning at 8 AM.

Turn off the TV, turn off your phone. Yeah, exactly. And sit. Write down a question in your mind, in your whatever. If Jesus came down and stood right in front of you, what would you ask Him? Because that's nothing the cross gave. It gave us access.

Cartwright Morris (49:27.074)
where he's not, it's going back to the time discussion, he's not confined by time or space. So he can show up. I mean, that's what's wild if you actually talk to all the people, our heroes in the Old Testament, right, our heroes, our contemporaries really, and we look at them, it's like they were like, wait, you have full access to the Holy Spirit where He lives inside of you? And you can, like, you could be in the darkest corner of the world and God could be there with you?

Hey, how about we use that in our modern first world every day? but we got, it's like, it's like we're a prisoner to distractions, you know? Some people like get all, you know, Oh man, there are really a lot of miracles happening in Africa. it's like, well, yeah, cause they don't have as many distractions either, know, temptations or it's like.

You know, so what would that look like in the first step of that journey is, think is how do you carve out 10, 15 minutes? It could be just to your drive to work, have the radio off and just like in your mind's eye have the...

question written across the windshield. Yeah, if you don't want to be, mean, like, so I would encourage everybody to find somebody that you can talk to that you can be vulnerable with and really be honest to. For me, that was Cartwright. So like having someone that you can like say a lot of things that you feel are true that actually aren't true. Right. So like having somebody dissect your thoughts, help you dissect your thoughts. But if you don't even want to do that, it's, what do you have to lose?

Silence everything around you find a quiet place and just ask God questions. Don't come with theology Yeah, don't come with you know the the I Don't know you see I'm trying to say like yeah, if just be completely vulnerable Because yeah, does that make sense? I think that's what I like there's so much peace in that I mean we I've mentioned this is like let's say you

Cartwright Morris (51:29.14)
said before, the richest man in the world, would you come with your ideas of business and say, well, this is what I, you know, it's like, no, you would come before with some open hands, vulnerability, like, hey, yeah, you know, he goes, all right, you got 15 minutes to, you know.

for a business question or something, right? It's like, well, here's the king of the universe who created you, who knitted you in your mother's womb. Let's have that approach, right? And to your point, don't come with theology. I think that's so interesting, as I'm trying to teach guys to read the Bible, is I, for years, well, one, in the Western, we want to go immediately to application. What's the apply? What makes me feel good? Let's get to the

what I want out of it. It's like if that's the most you can get out of the Bible then you've missed it. It's like how do I come to the Bible and first just observe what's there? God, what were you saying to those people in those days? What was happening? What was going on? How would what why do these words repeated? Like let's stop putting our agenda and that's what I meant I needed to go away from my ordinary is we need this like we've just been indoctrinated

good and bad to think and look at stuff a certain way and almost we can insert that constantly in our relationship with God and how we even read the Bible and how we engage with everybody that sometimes we got to just get away from all that just to go, okay, here I am. Be still and know that I am God. Yeah, I mean the thief on the cross had zero theology.

Zero. Yeah. Yeah zero. Yeah, I mean even using a more modern day He was he didn't have a certain algorithm to his social media telling him what he should be believing exactly Reinforcing that's what I mean. Like going to the Bible with just reinforcing what you already believe. Yeah that

Cartwright Morris (53:25.458)
There is attention, 100 % of like, hey, God put all these men and women before us who studied the Bible, theologians, scholars, to help us understand it better now. But truly knowing God, sometimes we gotta like engage to a degree of like, all right, I just want to know you more.

and Lord use all that stuff to help me do that. Not reinforce what I already think and believe. It's hard man, and it's hard. And that's where I say, how do I stop? Be still and know God. Well one way is just how do I, 10 minutes, put a timer on if I have to and just lean into the discomfort of silence, of quiet.

And the discomfort of vulnerability. Yeah, vulnerability for God, like as men, we like... It's wild, And vulnerability, at least to me, it means I don't know... I don't have this figured out. That's all it is.

I have my career figured out. I don't have my marriage figured out. I don't have this parenthood thing that's new to me figured out. God, I need you. Please help me. Holy Spirit, me and help me to understand and show me how to be in relationship with you truly every day in everything that I do and then start that journey and then...

wrestle in the journey for forever. You don't have to come out with a clean, nice product. That's the tension as men. like, you're going back to steps thing. It's like, all right, now that I did this, it's got to come out like this. When Jacob wrestled God and came out with a limp. He didn't come out with a steel titanium hip. Runs like Bo Jackson. He came out like...

Cartwright Morris (55:30.062)
Bo Jackson after the injury. Yeah. That's a great point. and he walked with the limp Yeah. Yeah. That's good. So we did. Yeah. Is that it? Do we nail it? All right. Thank you all for listening. Until next time.