How to Develop an Offensive Servant Mindset That Proactively Creates Value in Others | FORGE Pillar #2 | Episode 158

In this episode, Cartwright Morris and Bo Morgan unpack how to develop a resilient personal identity rooted in faith and proactive service. They explore foundational principles like understanding your worth as God's beloved son and living out a bold, humble initiative in serving others—crucial for personal growth and leadership.

Building Confidence and Servant Leadership in Your 20s and 30s: Practical Insights from Men Are Forged

In this episode:

• The importance of serving others with joy, even at personal cost, as a reflection of your identity. 
• How to cultivate a proactive mindset, seeing needs before they are asked and stepping up confidently. 
• The role of self-assessment tools (like the Forge framework) to foster honest reflection and growth.
• Biblical examples of service, focusing on Jesus washing the disciples' feet as an act of offensive humility. 
• Practical daily and weekly practices to embody being a faithful son and offensive servant. 
• The significance of understanding failures and rejections as opportunities to reaffirm your identity in Christ.
• How personal life—marriage, relationships, and legacy—can be shaped by intentional service and presence. 

Timestamps: 

00:00 - Embracing Serving Others with Joy Despite Personal Cost
 02:26 - The Biblical Foundation of Identity in Sonship (Matthew 3:17)
 05:56 - Developing the Forge Self-Assessment Tool for Growth
 11:58 - The Power of Being an Offensive Servant: Initiative and Boldness
 15:47 - Meeting Practical and Spiritual Needs Proactively
 18:18 - Biblical Examples: John 13 and Jesus' Offficial Service
 23:36 - Daily Practices for Service: Small Steps, Big Impact
 28:43 - Applying Servant Leadership in Marriage and Family Life
 32:41 - Reflective Practice: How Self-Assessment Shapes Action
 40:16 - The Journey of Growth: Honest Self-Reflection and Progress
 52:45 - Mentorship and Influence: Learning from Men Who Lead Well
 55:33 - Launching the Young Professional Development Pilot Program

Resources & Links: 

• Take the FORGE Baseline Assessment
• Jim Collins' Good to Great
• Simon Sinek's Leaders Eat Last
• Men Are Forged Website & Program Details 

Connect with Cartwright Morris:

• LinkedIn
• Men Are Forged Instagram

Transcript

Cartwright Morris (00:03.841)
How much do we have right now? Like 30 minutes? Probably 30 minutes. What I was going to do is go through some of the assessment questions. Yeah. And then maybe T up to you for the... April 28th. 28th. Yeah. do you think about that? Love it.

Cartwright Morris (00:30.177)
So you have Alright, so we've got two things here. Cartwright has done a framework where It's given all the information the stuff that we've been talking about or some of the information kind of the bullet points of what you're With the forge framework, but what it's really really cool to me is the baseline self-assess Assessment that you've created

for this curriculum, the Forge Framework curriculum that you're rolling out. Which again, it's just like, hey, if you're in your 20s and 30s and you wanna start this journey, this Christian journey, if you wanna understand yourself a little bit better, understand what's going on with Christianity and how that relates to you and in life a little bit better, then.

Did you hear my voice crack? Then, take the assessment. And they could tell you a lot about yourself that you probably don't know because if you're like me and you're just sitting here thinking about it, you're thinking, gosh, I don't even know what my original...

thoughts are on being an offensive servant, number two. You know what mean? Right. What does that look like? How do I start here by first understanding how I view it so that we can do this course together and you can help me through this course, right? So with that being said, I would like to do faithful son and offensive servant. Yeah, let's go ahead and that since we didn't get a chance to do that last Yeah, we didn't do it last time. So I guess...

What I'd like to do is just kind of read what you have and then maybe the person who's listening can kind of think what, how they would answer it or whatever. And then they can actually go and do it themselves, right? Cause we're going to include the link or it's already been included on the, uh, where can we find the link right now? Um, to the assessment. So yeah, find on the website, miniforge.com. I may just go ahead and just do a whole landing page for that. But, um,

Cartwright Morris (02:39.475)
Also, it'll be in the bio or the description of this episode. So easy access, but just to give a little sneak peek on the two that we've talked about so far, one being faithful son, two being offensive servant.

What I'd love to do is kind of go through some of these different options that you have in the assessment. So we can discuss it briefly. So for faithful son, and this was last week's episode, you know, the core of it is you are God's beloved son secure and the father's love, not striving to earn it. Well, Morgan, goodness, when will you get that man? No, no.

So anyway, the daily practice of understanding who you are to God, to Jesus, your son, you belong, you operate from love, not for love. Right? So that's kind of the recap, the quick recap on that one. So these are statements. so basically in the assessment, you're choosing which statement closely aligns to you. Right? Number one for this one is I feel deeply loved and accepted by God, even when I fail or face rejection.

That's number one. Number two, daily... Failures are great. Yeah, failure and rejection is a...

great litmus test for this. So not when things are going well. Yeah, it creates that tension in you. like, do I know this to be true? Yeah. I think Tim Keller's got a great little line in the book where he's trying to counsel a teenager, teenage daughter who got rejected by a boy or something, and he's sharing the gospel with her, she's like, yeah, but why did I get this boy to like me? He's trying to give you

Cartwright Morris (04:25.283)
transcendent reality to who you are and you are very stuck in your what's right in front of you right now that you will forget about in a probably in a few months yeah you know and 10 years from now you will care very little about yeah yeah but what happens is humans and I think God knows this about us that we're there's so much of life that's right here in front of our face so to truly grasp something that is so beyond what our understanding but to pull it into our present is so

that's how it really gets shaped and molded and forged. Yep, forged. GED everyone. Bub's getting his GED right now. Exactly. So that's number one. Yeah because you know facing failure or rejection

You know when you still feel deeply deeply loved in those moments. It's not just something that you've heard or that you've read It's something that you do in practice Right, right. So that would be number one number two Or is number one number two is My daily decisions are shaped more by pleasing God than by fear of what others think So my daily decisions are shaped more by pleasing God than by fear of what others think

Yeah. Gosh, man. Like we've had episodes and I hope, you know, especially the first five, I want to say, I've said this in one of those or not, I mean all five was like, live my life through the eyes of other people constantly like wanting their approval, trying to anticipate what they're thinking. And it's just exhausting. It's the fruit of it was anxiety, depression, disappointment, frustration.

I mean, you just live on a emotional roller coaster ride, living and dying off people's facial expressions. sometimes facial expressions, some people just have bad facial expressions. doesn't mean they have bad thoughts about you, they just have bad expressions. And if they're in a leadership role or somebody I'm like, want their approval from, it's like, you can't put weight to that. The weight is in like, hey,

Cartwright Morris (06:44.737)
And what God thinks about me and then when we start really processing that out and apply it in real life and living that tension We can then

live a whole healthy life, right? So, yeah. The who is constantly. It's so funny you say that the feedback I've gotten at work from Michael, my boss and Drake, who I work with, they said that when I'm trying to process something, my face doesn't say I'm processing it. It says, what are you talking about? You don't know what you're talking about. And I was like, man, promise I don't mean that. You have resting your idiot face. Yeah, really. And do you have, know,

say about me for some reason? I'm trying to think. It's come up like three times in the past two days. I'm like okay all right I hear you I'm working on it. So now I'm just like you know walking around with like a smile. Now put me to say the silent face. Yeah exactly. So it's so funny you say that. Yeah no that's definitely true. All right number three I regularly enjoy relational time with God as his son rather than just going through religious emotions.

That's a, that should be really conflicting because it's, hard. It's, it's really, it's a tough one. Cause I think in your twenties, you're like, am I just doing this because I think I'm supposed to versus and, and you know, it's a chicken for the egg. Sometimes it really is like sometimes you really do have to just make it a discipline before it becomes a relational thing. Right. Yeah. But there is, yeah. I mean, one way to really test that emotion, am I doing this for someone else?

doing it for me in my relationship with God? Or am I doing this for the appearance of it? that's really the litmus test of it. Yeah, which is examples on the Bible of that, right? Yeah. The Pharisees and Sadducees. Okay, number four, when I fall short I quickly return to my identity in Christ instead of spiraling into shame or overcompensation. Yeah.

Cartwright Morris (08:53.825)
When I fall short, I quickly return to my identity of Christ Instead of spiraling into shame or over compensation. So when I screw up I click or return to I am a faithful son rather than Either I see kind of two routes there one shame being. All right, forget it. I messed up

I'm toast. Yeah, you know with my relationship with God or to ever compensation Let me show you all the things I can do to prove to you God that I love you, right? Or to someone else right or does order someone else? exactly Yeah, yeah

There was something I had thought of with that, but yeah. mean, and so this is what it was, but it's like, guys, so if you're reading this, you're not a five. I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s who would say they're not a five on these areas. Like don't think you have to have this figured out right now. the rating is one to five here. My assumption is most of y'all should, I mean, I would say in my 20s, would probably put, if I was being honest, was probably a lot of twos, even ones.

this test and I would say there's a still I still had a lot of threes in a lot of these areas. So let me just kind of like you know if I'm

if we're really truly being honest and some of this helps us get unpacked and I'm like, man, the guys who are primed for growth, the ones willing to be honest in these areas. so hopefully I'm encouraged, trying to encourage you that if you're like, you know, you know, I would love to put a five and all these, but I'm not like, well, then don't actually shows the, willingness to grow by not putting vibes on these. So anyway, if you're taking, if you're taking this step to take this assessment, then you're probably, you probably do have that willingness to grow. Right. So,

Cartwright Morris (10:48.373)
Hopefully, you know, hopefully you'd be willing to do it, right? I'm still I'm sure I'm still one and two and a lot of these I Need to take it but we'll see you know But again, the core question of faithful son is am I living from the security of being God's son? Or am I still performing like an orphan? Right. It's

Again, are you you are you operating from his love or are you operating for his love? Yeah That's the thing that keeps rattling around in my brain is and operate from love you are accepted you are his son you are willing to die on a cross for yeah, you know and Willing to go through probably the worst death If you look at the timeline of history when in 33 AD was probably the when capital punishment was the absolute

absolute most brutal. Right. And he chose to come back during that time for us. So, um, that's a really, really good one. Yeah. Um, it's my favorite so far. We've only done two, so we'll see. Um, okay. And then on the, let me, let me go, go, go. One little thought, just that core question there. And maybe, I don't know, some people

It helps with movies and examples. He just made me think of the scene in the movie Equalizer with Denzel Washington, which you've seen some of Denzel's interviews. He always tried to incorporate a scripture or scripture concept into his movies. But he told, the scene may be somebody else. He's talking to the Russian assassin and he's telling the story of the orphan who was loved and accepted by this man and his family and eventually

he didn't want to believe it right but we keep losing you it's alright but we got we got you down anyway I just think that was that story I don't know I'm just gonna maybe give a plug me for that movie but it's just interesting like that

Cartwright Morris (12:58.783)
you know, what ends up when we don't believe who we are, what ends up happening in the results of that. So, yeah. Yeah. No, that's really good. okay. So then question number two, offensive servant, the one we just talked about, you see needs and move first with bold, humble initiative. And then the core question here is where can I serve first today? Even if nobody notices, where can I serve first day? Even if nobody notices, right? Man, that is like,

Completely counter to what we operate. I want someone to see me do it. Yeah, you know the main and so the the first Option the first statement there is I proactively look for ways to serve others instead of waiting to be asked

Yeah, man. So, I'm looking for ways to serve you. I'm looking for ways to serve my wife before, you know, she has to ask me to do it. Right. You know what mean? Yeah. And you're thinking of her in the midst of that. I'm not, you know, a great example is the...

you the trash, right? Maybe for you it's like the trash is full when it's overflowing, but for her it's,

almost to the top, it's right below it. So take it out then. It's like we're thinking less about self and more about, think it's the C.S. Lewis quote about selflessness. It's not thinking of yourself less, it's thinking less of yourself. You stop thinking about yourself and you think about others. Like, how would this help her, serve her anyway? Yeah, 100%. Number two is I serve cheerfully even when there's no recognition.

Cartwright Morris (14:44.747)
or personal benefit. Yeah that's an interesting way cheerfully or yeah. No recognition or personal benefit. That's a tough one. That one yeah I don't think many of us would put a five there. None of us really should. Yeah no definitely not. Yeah even I mean I you know even just the concept of like

One, serving without personal recognition or benefit. That's one way. But cheerfully? Yeah. Right. Anyway. Yeah, because even in the example we're talking about with our wives, mean, it's... If you're doing it for her, you know, it's hard to add the cheerfully to it. You know what mean? a way. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Does that make sense? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And then number three is I willingly step up and take responsibility in situations where others hesitate

Willingly step up and take responsibility in situations where others hesitate. Yeah, I mean I think this is a mark of a leadership minded person, right? You know many of us want the title of a leader, but we don't want the responsibility leader because then one yeah We want the praise, but we never want the criticism if it doesn't go well I think that's the mark of someone who's willing to serve is one. Yeah, I don't do it for recognition, but also I'm the first line of defense when there's blame

So yeah, I think that is the level of a offense. That's a mark of a offensive servant. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Number four is I serve others with joy rather than resentment, even when it costs me time or comfort. Yeah. That's that learning that we've talked about this in that pause sometimes or, you know, as men, this is a tough one because right. We were like, we want

Cartwright Morris (16:42.273)
helping somebody out.

I know, it's just like, it's like, know someone comes in your office to talk about something and you're like, crap, I got a lot to do and this seems like it's gonna take a minute, but then going, no, I think it's important. That's a little bit what I'm talking about. And that, you know, I'm not saying everyone has to do that all the time or even do that, but sometimes it's like learning, like having that practice of you have the ability to stop.

go okay this person needs help. Right? They need someone to talk with and I've for some reason have they found trust in me and like don't take that lightly. You know so learning to do that. yeah. Yeah so again it's things that you learn and it's things that you learn by first discovering where you are right now right? And so that's what I love about it. It's not just the hey here's the Forge Framework information for

you it's the forge self-assessment to first learn where you are and then I would imagine because I know Cartwright once we kind of know the self-assessment numbers and where you are what categories you put yourself in then the curriculum will kind of shape itself around you know how you're viewing things right now so that's really cool I love that and I need to do it I'm gonna do it I think I have it it should be on the scoring guide actually

on the link to the Google form, but I meant to fix some of that on here. I hadn't fixed this one on the printed copy here. But I put in the scoring guide, if you make a, so there's four questions per section, so that's a hundred, so a total of really a hundred points. You know, I figured most of us went, lived by that in our school, so that's what I did. And I put, if you made a 76 to a hundred, you are lying.

Cartwright Morris (18:41.181)
and this program is for you and you need to learn how to reflect and actually be honest with yourself. Literally, and the worst person you're lying to is yourself. You're not lying to me, you're lying to yourself. because right, if you put a three for everything, you make a 60. Which most of us should be putting threes. Especially, you know, if you're in your 20s, it's probably threes.

twos and threes is my guess. And even if you did a couple fours, you're not making a 75 or above. anyway, that's, that is me just trying to be a little bit more direct and just kind of like, Hey, this is, this is not, this is, guess what we do is men, right?

man I gotta look good, I mean I wanna do good, I wanna do good on tests. I could maybe grade myself up, round up, you know, I'm kind of a 3.2 but maybe I'm a 4 on this Trust me, I'm giving up, won't do well on tests. Yeah, right. I figured out that's never gonna happen. Yeah. Figured out that pretty quick. But hey. But I bet you I can get 100 on this.

Exactly. I bet I can. Oh man. Oh, yeah. If you make a hundred, then you are perfect for this. Right. Cause you're. And I know Cartwright super well and I've been in these conversations with Cartwright before. You will be like the first time you talk to Cartwright, you'll be like, I don't really like this guy that much. But then you'll be like, yeah, I need this. Yeah.

You know what mean? Oh, that's a revelation. You didn't like me the first time you met? No, no, no. I loved you the first time I met you. I'm just talking about if you were the type that would give yourself a hundred, then you probably won't like the truth that you'll bring up. No, dude, I came crawling into your office. need to Oh, yeah, was about to say, okay, you're talking about that. No, no, no. No, I came crawling into your office. Our first conversation.

Cartwright Morris (20:35.729)
I wanted to meet you like three times a week and you're like, yeah. How about once a week? I don't think I got time for that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no man, super exciting. It's so cool to see all the stuff you've done over the years and you're putting it into very practical stuff. You know what mean? Very practical things. You can put your hands on things. You can learn things. You can stretch yourself, ask questions to you about, or to other people, things that you'll think about even when you're not here meeting with you doing this course. You know I mean? Like it's.

that

is really cool because you're learning so much about yourself and then you're learning too. You're learning this messy journey that is being a Christian at any time, but especially in your 20s and 30s when the world is just throwing fastballs at you and curve balls and you're trying to, life is happening fast. You're having kids, you just got married, you're doing all these things. You figured out that the principle you paid on your mortgage

is less than the interest and you're like what in the world stuff that you know like that's a crazy example. hidden thing underneath all that is who in the heck am I? Yeah, yeah.

What kind of man am I? Right, right, right. And then out of that, like, what kind of father am I? What kind of husband? And then who do you want to be? Yeah. And then who at the end of the day? Yeah. And then who, who is this God who loves me and cares for me that wants to grow me and be, you know, to become that man that I think I want to be or should be? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a lot of those questions get swirled around in our head all in midst of trying to deal with like stuff you're talking about. Yeah. And it's like, man,

Cartwright Morris (22:19.86)
Wow, deep breath. This is kind of cool, like a personal thing, like in seeing stuff like this and then doing stuff with you and being at the center doing Bible study and stuff like that, it's like giving me a whole real appreciation for my dad. Knowing like...

man, he went through all this stuff too. And he was still like my hero. you know what I mean? Like was, he served us all the time. I mean, he was doing stuff behind the scenes that I still don't even know about. Like in serving me and my sisters and my mom and my mom too. But like, just in terms of men, like my dad was, he was 33 when he had me about the same age that I had my son. And he, he went through all this stuff just like I did, you know, and

I mean, I know things look a lot differently, but like looking at all this stuff, he showed all that and he was going through these thoughts and all this stuff happening just like we are, but did it extremely well, you know, and didn't need the recognition or anything like that. So it kind of gives you perspective on your own life, but then also in some of the men that you attribute want to be like on their lives. Cause it's like, man, you know,

It just gives you a little bit different perspective. would say a lot every one of these is like somebody I know represents something one of these are all five of these. As I'm looking at it, I picture people. Yeah, I mean I picture my dad. It didn't come out of nowhere. It's not it's like I mean one we could you think about the Bible or I mean the obvious one Jesus right but also like

Like we know men in our lives that represent this really well that are very, I mean, the offensive servant is yeah. A hundred percent of mentor mine, like who basically trained that thinking in me of like learning to be more assertive in how I serve others anyway. Yeah. That's great. Well, tell me this. So I know you've got some plans for this, right? Like, yeah, today is April the eighth. Is that right? Wednesday, the day of the part three contest at the masters. Right.

Cartwright Morris (24:30.979)
Did you forget? Kind of just now, I mean didn't forget the masters. I know you've got some plans in the coming weeks so like you've you've you've taken so much time building this and making it make sense. What are you gonna do next with it? Tell us about that. Yeah so so much of the last 11 years of my life has been trying to

put some of this in a practical sense like here before like this and some of it's come out of the podcast episodes coming. It's come out of the 20 plus guys i've been toward and all the groups i've led but it's really come down to the the all right i'm starting a pilot i'm gonna call it kind of a pilot young professional development program but this is just really going to be strictly more of just the content you know this fall i'm hoping to really roll out in the program and add all the different features

to it but right now it's just you know how do you work through some of this content and really kind of low commitment you know four weeks probably extend this maybe six weeks but we're gonna start with guys four weeks starting May 28th really trying to be accommodating some guys schedules because sometimes lunch works better some guys and sometimes morning so Tuesdays we're gonna meet for four weeks all the way up before to before Memorial Day weekend

and it's just gonna be in a room for an hour, you know, really testing a lot of this out, really kind of seeing how this lands, how this resonates with your peers and looking for really, you know, if there's two times, you know, six to 10 guys really wanting to, young professionals trying to, wanna figure this out. So it's kind of my promo for it.

I'm trying to think any other details, you know, really the bit, maybe talk about the benefits, get more in the sales part. But yeah, you know, but I'm really, yeah, my hope is just, yeah, you come and it's, it's a reflective, a deep meaningful to really, whether you, you continue with me into the fall and continue walking through this or, you know, it's just, you're here for just four weeks, but I really hope that it's something that really causes you to reflect on these five pillars and a lot of the other content I have.

Cartwright Morris (26:50.595)
Because there's also you know something we hadn't talked about that there's five pillars. There's always a foundation to pillars, right? You know and so that's kind of the first session so Anyway, yeah, tell us I just encourage I mean if you

If you're like me and you need some guidance and you don't even know what that guidance looks like, you just know you need guidance. Don't even require yourself to have a specific reason to do this. Just do it. And God, the Holy Spirit will show you all kinds of stuff. Come without a plan. You don't have to have a, well I'm struggling with this specific thing, even though you can.

Even if you're just like, I need more. I need more. I want to find out how to be more like...

people like my dad who have done this well and how do I keep from slipping away gradually over time? How do I keep on the right track here, learning the right things from the right people? Just come and do it and see what God shows you. I think the issue that keeps popping up is, like I said, in the context of the offensive servant is we tend in our 20s just

of drift kind of expect expect things just to happen you know and it how do you take up in six months and not even recognize yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean think that was the thought I had kind of especially towards the end of my 20s of like the fear I had of like man if I don't do something I'm going to be in the same place or worse in the next five years and so being taking an intentional effort this is my my heart my goal is to help you kind of to be more intentional about

Cartwright Morris (28:46.667)
who you are because this is what Menderfords was about. It's like, how do I have a purpose and identity in God? How do I take the challenges in life and embrace those that actually shape, that actually help me understand and know my identity that ultimately leads to me discovering my purpose here on earth? So anyway, think that's it, Beau. Man, that was good.

Thanks for coming.