The Creating Belonging Podcast
In the book, Creating Belonging: A Practical Guide to Accelerate Belonging in Organizations and Communities, Justin Reinert describes a model where belonging sits at the intersection of authenticity and acceptance. In The Creating Belonging Podcast, host Justin Reinert will continue the conversation of creating belonging by discussing others' experiences when they've been at various levels of authenticity and acceptance in their communities. Our goal with this podcast will be to help others find new paths to belonging in their communities.
The Creating Belonging Podcast
Ambiguous Voice
Let us know what you think of this podcast!
What does your voice say about your identities? In this episode, we talk about the relationship between how our voice sounds and our identities. We explore how the pandemic drove division, and the impact of media on the stereotypes we hold for different races and identities.
Our guest, Brittany William is a vivacious employer brand lead, spending positivity one smile at a time.
You can check out their podcast Your Only Black Friend Podcast anywhere you get your podcasts.
You can order your copy of Creating Belonging on Amazon.
Music:
Wave by Helkimer | https://soundcloud.com/helkimer
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Creative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0)
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US
00:00:11 Justin
Welcome to another episode of the Creating Belonging Podcast.
00:00:15 Justin
Today, my guest is Brittany William and Brittany.
00:00:18 Justin
I love your LinkedIn tagline, vivacious employer, brand lead, spreading positivity, one smile at a time.
00:00:25 Justin
Brittany, I would just love if you would further introduce yourself in your own words.
00:00:30 Brittany
Hi Justin.
00:00:31 Brittany
It is so great to be here with you today and to talk about creating belonging.
00:00:35 Brittany
I really did a lot to the book.
00:00:36 Brittany
So I'm excited to dive into it, but for those that are listening, my name is Brittany, but I go by Britt, so feel free to call me Britt and I am a black woman.
00:00:48 Brittany
I identify as a black woman.
00:00:50 Brittany
My pronouns are she, they, and I am nearing 30, which is super exciting, but I have been in recruitment marketing for about six to seven years.
00:01:02 Brittany
I want to say I'm coming up on my 7th year.
00:01:04 Brittany
Right now and I work in employer brand as my lovely LinkedIn profile says for a digital services firm.
00:01:13 Justin
Thank you for sharing that, Britt and I thank you for sharing some of your identities and I wanted to check in, you know, I think it's helpful in the context of the conversations we're having to kind of have some of those identities out there so that we can frame the the context.
00:01:29 Justin
I just want to check in with you and see if there's any other identities that you'd like to.
00:01:31 Justin
Share for our conversations today.
00:01:33 Brittany
Yeah, you know, I also identify as a queer woman.
00:01:37 Brittany
I think I I, well, let me back up a little bit.
00:01:40 Brittany
I also identify as non binary.
00:01:43 Brittany
However I know that I present as a black femme or a black woman and so that will always be a part of my identity.
00:01:52 Brittany
I'm trying to think of what else I would use to describe myself.
00:01:56 Brittany
I feel like I have so many different identities that I don't realize until I'm in that situation, but I would definitely say my queer identity, my black identity, my femme woman identity, are the big three that I would say.
00:02:11 Justin
Well, thank you for sharing Brittany.
00:02:13 Justin
So I understand that you have read the book creating belonging.
00:02:17 Justin
Thank you.
00:02:18 Justin
And I just, let's dive right in and I'd love to hear, you know, as you went through the work and thinking about the areas of the creating blogging model.
00:02:29 Justin
What sparked for you?
00:02:31 Justin
Like what areas of your life came up?
00:02:34 Brittany
So there was a point in my life when I had just started my career that I was living in Central Illinois, and I had lived there for about 5 years, going to school, doing what I needed to do for five years, and I was with my partner at the time who we were both trying.
00:02:53 Brittany
To decide after graduation what we wanted to do, well, we looked at our finances and we were two very broke college students, or I guess, post college.
00:03:03 Brittany
And so we decided to stay in the area.
00:03:06 Brittany
Both of us are in marginalized communities.
00:03:09 Brittany
And so being in central Illinois during that time was a bit of a it was a reach, you know, it was.
00:03:19 Brittany
It was something that we knew that we would be safer.
00:03:23 Brittany
If we lived in a more urban area but with our finances being the way that they are, and both of us being very independent, only children, we were like, Nope, we're going to stay here, we're going to build up our finances and then eventually we will move to a more urban area that's a little bit more accepting of our identity.
00:03:40 Brittany
These and so by staying in that area, I went through all of the all of the model essentially of creating belonging and it really started when I started my first job and my first job just happened to be in marketing, which is ironic because my career actually, it took a very interesting turn.
00:04:02 Brittany
I graduated with my Masters and family and consumer sciences and I wanted to focus on fashion, sustainability and textile recycling, but somehow I ended up in marketing.
00:04:13 Brittany
But when you live in central Illinois, there's not a lot of job options.
00:04:17 Brittany
And so that's how I geared up into the marketing career path that I am now.
00:04:23 Brittany
But because of that I I went into a new space that I I didn't know a lot about.
00:04:30 Brittany
I actually went into the dental industry and the town that I was working in was a very conservative town, small town, very white and.
00:04:42 Brittany
I am obviously not white.
00:04:44 Brittany
I am a black woman, a black queer woman at that.
00:04:46 Brittany
And so I really had to go in and I'm trying to think of, like, what would be the best way to to describe.
00:04:55 Brittany
How I went in but I was very guarded and and I protected myself quite a bit, so I would say probably a little bit of the recluse.
00:05:03 Brittany
When I went in because I didn't know how people were going to react to me, I have a very ambiguous voice.
00:05:10 Brittany
So when people hear me on the phone, they don't know what my race is and I've had a number of interviews.
00:05:16 Brittany
Specifically in the Central Illinois area, when I just got out of school, that would phone interview me be super excited to meet me, and then I got to the interview and it would end within 20 minutes, if not less than that, I actually had about 5 interviews like that.
00:05:29 Brittany
Which at the time I was like, why is this happening?
00:05:33 Brittany
And then as I got older, I kind of realized that I was not a match for that company or that organization because of the way that I looked.
00:05:41 Brittany
And so I was really nervous when I went into this job.
00:05:44 Brittany
And you know, this little cornfield area, essentially.
00:05:50 Brittany
Of trying to figure out you know how much of myself can I really be without really knowing how people are going to be treating me, especially with some of the politics that go on in rural areas like that.
00:06:04 Brittany
You know, I was, I was on guard.
00:06:05 Brittany
I was.
00:06:06 Brittany
I was a little scared, but eventually as I started my career there and I started making friends and learning the job and learning the team, I did start to open myself up a little bit more very slowly because I think there were a lot of instances of microaggressions.
00:06:27 Brittany
There is a lot of instances of just blatant racism that came from my coworkers or other.
00:06:34 Brittany
And it caused me to kind of create 2 versions of myself and so I created a work Brit version and a home personal Brit version of myself to separate the two.
00:06:48 Brittany
And so when I was at work, I was a very bubbly excited.
00:06:54 Brittany
Positive type of employee that I think a lot of people attach to and they really.
00:07:00 Brittany
And they saw that as my authenticity for me.
00:07:04 Brittany
I saw that as a mask.
00:07:05 Brittany
I saw that as something that I had to put on at 8:00 AM every morning when I would drive into work to be this version of a black woman, that they they wanted to see, essentially because they had so many preconceived notions.
00:07:21 Brittany
Of black people in general, and I mean, if you go to central Illinois.
00:07:27 Brittany
Most 9 times out of 10, if you say that you're from Chicago, they're going to roll their eyes at you and be like, oh, you're one of those.
00:07:33 Brittany
You're from Chicago, and so I took a lot of time actually debunking that and debunking that.
00:07:40 Brittany
You know, I'm actually not from Chicago.
00:07:42 Brittany
I'm from the suburbs.
00:07:43 Brittany
And I grew up in a very affluent neighborhood.
00:07:47 Brittany
You know, I went to school and I graduated with my masters, which, you know, in a lot of marginalized communities, you know, we can't say that because we don't have the resources to.
00:07:57 Brittany
And I was really blessed to be able to obtain 2 degrees.
00:08:01 Brittany
And so I shopped a lot of my coworkers.
00:08:03 Brittany
I shocked a lot of my a lot of the other employees that I worked with, of being this outstanding black person that worked there.
00:08:14 Brittany
So yeah, it was.
00:08:15 Brittany
It was an experience, but I'm sure you have follow-up questions of all the different things that I had to go through because I can just.
00:08:22 Brittany
I can see your mind just going.
00:08:24 Brittany
So what?
00:08:25 Brittany
Lay it on me.
00:08:26 Justin
I will like it'll show if you're seeing.
00:08:28 Justin
If you're anybody seeing this on video.
00:08:30 Justin
But I was like, oh, my gosh, I don't have a notepad out and I need to be taking notes so.
00:08:35 Justin
The first thing that hit me was you mentioned that you have an ambiguous voice and the first thing excuse me that I thought of was that of gender.
00:08:49 Justin
And I thought in that moment I thought, well, your pitch isn't that low like and then.
00:08:55 Brittany
I see.
00:08:55 Justin
The follow-up was actually it referred to your race as in voice of race and I I you know it's so interesting because I just.
00:09:06 Justin
It makes sense to me, but when you say I have an ambiguous voice, the first thing I go to is gender.
00:09:11 Justin
So it's so interesting.
00:09:13
But it.
00:09:14 Justin
It makes me think about, you know, I also have, I have a friend who identifies as Chinese American.
00:09:21 Justin
And you know, if you meet her, that's probably a little more obvious.
00:09:25 Justin
But she's she said so many times.
00:09:28 Justin
Like she used to be in sales and on the phone.
00:09:30 Justin
She, you know, sounded quote white and and then people would meet her.
00:09:35 Justin
In person, they're.
00:09:36 Justin
Like, oh, but you just kind of like.
00:09:38 Justin
Set back like ohh.
00:09:39 Justin
Are you your?
00:09:40 Justin
Ohh OK, so I wanna sit there for a second because that's so it's so interesting and something that I think is underappreciated.
00:09:51 Justin
We're not talked about a ton.
00:09:55 Justin
Tell me.
00:09:55 Justin
Let's talk more about this.
00:09:57 Brittany
No, I think not only my voice too, but my name.
00:10:01 Brittany
So my name being Britney, I have been told many a times, like especially looking at my resume because it doesn't sound ethnic that people assume when I come in for interviews or if they're talking to me and they can't see my face, they assume that I'm white.
00:10:15 Brittany
So that's been something that I've dealt with.
00:10:18 Brittany
My entire life growing up in the in the suburbs, I was one of, like, maybe two or three other kids of color.
00:10:27 Brittany
And so a lot of folks, frame of reference of black people was from television and watching shows that might have portrayed black people as, you know, being hood or from the ghetto and, you know, talking like, hey, girl, how you doing?
00:10:42 Brittany
Like, why aren't you doing this?
00:10:43 Brittany
Like kind of like that.
00:10:44 Brittany
Right.
00:10:45 Brittany
And so when they meet me, they get really shocked and they're like.
00:10:48 Brittany
Why do you talk like that?
00:10:50 Brittany
I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:10:51 Brittany
This is my voice.
00:10:52 Brittany
Like, this is the way that I talk.
00:10:54 Brittany
And it's it's very apparent that they did not know that black people come in all different shapes and sizes, and that includes our voices as well.
00:11:04 Brittany
We're not all born in, you know, the hood or on the South side of Chicago.
00:11:09 Brittany
We come from different places all over the world.
00:11:12 Brittany
My dad is from Haiti.
00:11:13 Brittany
He's an immigrant.
00:11:14 Brittany
From Haiti and when he came to the states, he was.
00:11:19 Brittany
Ridiculed for his accent, which is so ironic because he lived in New York, which is like a melting pot.
00:11:25 Brittany
But kids are kids, you know, they want, you know, they want you to all sound the same at the end.
00:11:29 Brittany
Of the day.
00:11:30 Brittany
And so my dad worked extremely hard to not only learn English, but get rid of his accent.
00:11:36 Brittany
So if you meet him and you meet his sisters, you'd be like you all are related.
00:11:40 Brittany
His sisters both still have accents, and my dad has completely gotten rid of his accent, and he was about 13.
00:11:46 Brittany
He moved to the states, and so I think as I even grew up and my this is the same with my mom as well.
00:11:55 Brittany
We were always taught to speak well and speaking well equals slash translate into speaking light to a lot of folks.
00:12:06 Brittany
But for us it's it's just the way that we speak, but we also know that when we, you know turn on like hey, is this a girlfriend?
00:12:12 Brittany
How you doing?
00:12:13 Brittany
Like I'm so proud like all that.
00:12:15 Brittany
We know that we have less opportunities than if we were to say Hello.
00:12:19 Brittany
My name is Brittany.
00:12:20 Brittany
How are you today?
00:12:22 Brittany
Because it makes white folks feel comfortable to hear their their own voice or their own tone, or their own inflection.
00:12:33 Brittany
I guess I should say, and I've experienced that.
00:12:36 Brittany
All throughout my life, my voice has always been a.
00:12:39 Brittany
Topic of conversation.
00:12:42 Brittany
And I'm over here like.
00:12:43 Brittany
I have a podcast and I can't.
00:12:44 Brittany
Stand the sound of my phone but.
00:12:48 Brittany
You know it's it's just something that as.
00:12:52 Brittany
As a black person that I've I've had to deal with, that grew up not in an urban setting.
00:12:57 Justin
So I like.
00:12:58 Justin
I feel like we could just, like, keep digging in on all these different things because there's I think you talked about, you know how black people are portrayed on TV.
00:13:00 Brittany
I know.
00:13:08 Justin
And you know, I grew up in rural Iowa, and so we, I I didn't have black people in my.
00:13:15 Justin
Life and so and, you know, still even a lot.
00:13:19 Justin
Of my family, their.
00:13:20 Justin
Only exposure to non white people is what they're seeing on TV.
00:13:25 Justin
And you know, it's unfortunate that the media has done such a disservice to, you know, just exacerbating negative.
00:13:36 Justin
Stereotypes and and not showing the full breadth of humanity.
00:13:42 Justin
You know, to understand, like I can hear Brit and know that.
00:13:46 Justin
Ohh Britt is a black woman and that's like that's.
00:13:50 Justin
OK, like that's normal.
00:13:51
Yeah, yeah.
00:13:54 Justin
You also I had to grab on the the New York City thing.
00:13:57 Justin
So your dad being in New York, we were just in New York last weekend.
00:14:00 Justin
And at dinner, I said to my partner, I said, you know, the thing I love about New York.
00:14:05 Justin
One of the things is you hear so many more accents and language and languages like, I just love it.
00:14:13 Justin
I love the like.
00:14:13 Justin
The the diversity, the difference, the you know, I don't know.
00:14:18 Justin
The second thing I wanted to come back to is you talked about at work how you are.
00:14:26 Justin
You were this bubbly, positive person at work, and that wasn't necessarily your authentic self.
00:14:32 Justin
Now, I haven't known you for a super long time, but I've known you to be very pleasant and positive and you know, of course, we all have our days when that's not the case.
00:14:42 Justin
You know, everyone does.
00:14:43 Justin
But I I love to dig into.
00:14:46 Justin
Or how?
00:14:48 Justin
How different was that to, you know, had you been able to present your authentic self, what might have changed?
00:14:58 Brittany
You know my authentic self when I'm not around other people.
00:15:03 Brittany
I'm very quiet.
00:15:04 Brittany
I'm very introverted, which I think is a shock to a lot of people when they first meet me because I do put on that person.
00:15:11 Brittany
Of being very loud and fun, and I'm all those things.
00:15:15 Brittany
I'm not trying to say that.
00:15:16 Brittany
I'm not, but I turn it up.
00:15:18 Brittany
I turn it up for other people, especially around white folks, just so that they feel like, oh, she's a good black person.
00:15:27 Brittany
She's nice, she's exciting, she's fun.
00:15:29 Brittany
She doesn't remind me.
00:15:31 Brittany
Of you know the stereotypes that I've seen on TV and things like that.
00:15:36 Brittany
And so, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's what I would.
00:15:40 Brittany
Say for that.
00:15:41 Justin
So so it is in essence a form of of code switching, you know to.
00:15:45 Brittany
Oh, of course.
00:15:48 Justin
You know, just to be likable or appealing, it's it's.
00:15:52 Brittany
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:15:54 Justin
Yeah, it's interesting.
00:15:55 Justin
You know, I mostly identify as uh, you know, someone who has a preference for extroversion.
00:16:01 Justin
But like, I'm so on the line and then people don't don't understand.
00:16:05 Justin
When I go quiet.
00:16:08 Brittany
Yep, they're like, wait, what?
00:16:09 Brittany
What's wrong?
00:16:10 Brittany
It's like nothing. I just.
00:16:10 Justin
Yeah, like, why aren't you talking?
00:16:11 Brittany
I need.
00:16:11 Brittany
I need a I need.
00:16:12 Justin
A break.
00:16:14 Justin
I'm not on all the time.
00:16:15 Justin
Yeah. So you kind of.
00:16:17 Justin
Firm, you know, weren't able to, like, really lean into belonging while you were living in in central Illinois.
00:16:24 Justin
And then you moved to Chicago.
00:16:28 Brittany
You did.
00:16:28 Justin
And so how?
00:16:30 Justin
How did things change in the way that you settled into your communities in Chicago versus, you know, in Central Illinois?
00:16:39 Brittany
Yeah, I think I'm still settling into my communities.
00:16:42 Brittany
You know, I'm not going.
00:16:43 Brittany
To lie living.
00:16:44 Brittany
In central Illinois for as long as I did.
00:16:47 Brittany
It was really isolating, especially with my partner, who also had marginalized identities like we felt like we were outcast and that we didn't really have anywhere to go.
00:16:58 Brittany
When we moved here.
00:17:00 Brittany
It was about, gosh, probably about four months before the pandemic started, so we had a very short amount of time to, you know, really get out there and meet new people and do things.
00:17:12 Brittany
And I think both of us were still getting acclimated to our community and to our surroundings.
00:17:18 Brittany
And then the Panorama decided to make her appearance and make everybody go on lockdown.
00:17:23 Brittany
So then that made me and him kind of try to.
00:17:27 Brittany
To reconfigure like what does community look like?
00:17:30 Brittany
And so I think for us we took that as an opportunity to kind of say let's just take a break on trying to figure out where we're supposed to fit in and focus on ourselves, which I'm really grateful for because it made me focus down and hunker down on what brings me joy.
00:17:47 Brittany
And what kind of joy I can bring out of others and what kind of spaces that I want to belong to so.
00:17:54 Brittany
Long story short, I'm still finding my community in Chicago.
00:17:59 Brittany
I recently got some new friends friends of color which I don't really have a lot of friends of color just because of where I grew up and even in college as well because it was a predominantly white institution that you know, it's.
00:18:14 Brittany
It's just, it's really exciting now to look at different opportunities with these folks and.
00:18:20 Brittany
And meet new people and go to new places across the city and do new things.
00:18:26 Brittany
But yeah, I think I'm slowly finding it right now and just putting myself out there way more than I had even before the pandemic because I was really just focused on working.
00:18:40 Brittany
Like I think a lot of us were in 2019 just focused on, you know, building up our careers and, you know, putting a lot of value into money and then.
00:18:49 Brittany
And the pandemic happened and I think a lot of people started to see, like, no, I want to have more happiness in my life.
00:18:55 Brittany
I I want to start exploring new things with new people and have these new experiences and work is secondary and so with work for me being secondary.
00:19:05 Brittany
That's been a blessing to kind of start thinking about.
00:19:10 Brittany
Myself and who I want to be, and the types of communities I want to build, I think that's another thing too, is about building communities, which is something that.
00:19:19 Brittany
I've struggled with for so so many years because it's like I can't find the community that I feel like I belong to, so why don't I just make one?
00:19:29 Brittany
But then it's the, you know, impostor syndrome of, you know, I don't have the right to make my own community or, you know, I don't have the tools to make my own community.
00:19:40 Brittany
Now I'm happy to say that I'm in a point where I'm letting the opportunities come to me to build new relationships and be with a diverse group of folks, because that's always how I've imagined, you know, my, my friendships and my life and the community that I actually want to be a part of.
00:19:58 Brittany
Is a very eclectic group of people, diverse people from all different types of backgrounds that we all come together with a common goal of just.
00:20:09 Brittany
Wanting to be the best version of ourselves and you know, just loving each other as as we are.
00:20:16 Justin
I don't know if you were teeing this up or not, but you basically you basically defined how I define community in the book, which is a group of people coming together for, you know, a shared goal or, you know, a shared purpose.
00:20:31 Justin
So I love that.
00:20:33 Justin
Thank you.
00:20:34 Brittany
Got you.
00:20:35 Justin
So first of all, you absolutely have a right to build your own community and.
00:20:47 Justin
So I'm I'm going back to my notes so.
00:20:52 Justin
The the pandemic that was so isolating you.
00:20:56 Justin
Know and I think we.
00:20:59 Justin
I I feel like it divided us more.
00:21:04 Justin
In a way, right?
00:21:05 Justin
Because it put us in our homes more so that we're exposed to fewer people.
00:21:13 Justin
And if we're in our homes and only interacting with the people that are closest to us, it is highly likely that we have much less diversity in our immediate sphere.
00:21:24 Justin
And so, yeah, and and you and you said you moved to the city like, right before pandemic.
00:21:32 Brittany
Yep, October 2019.
00:21:35 Justin
Yeah, so barely a second to like.
00:21:37 Justin
Unpack your boxes and then you're like, oh, now we have plenty of time to unpack our boxes.
00:21:38 Brittany
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:43 Brittany
Exactly, exactly.
00:21:45 Brittany
I like the way that you thought about that, yes.
00:21:48 Justin
UM.
00:21:50 Justin
You know, it's interesting the you mentioned also kind of in when you were in Central Illinois, you talked about how you didn't really have anywhere to go.
00:21:59 Justin
And so, you know, you wanted to come to Chicago to have those options.
00:22:05 Justin
I wanted to.
00:22:05 Justin
There was something in there I wanted to dig into because it's, you know.
00:22:09 Justin
Having grown up in again in rural Iowa like I totally get that where you know, as a queer individual.
00:22:18 Justin
You know, there weren't spaces for me and you know, I I, you know, I'm still a white male.
00:22:28 Justin
So like, I can kind of blend in for the most part.
00:22:32 Justin
And, you know, Speaking of the ambiguous voice, my voice is usually what gives me away.
00:22:39 Justin
There's that.
00:22:39 Justin
There's actually a Netflix documentary, something about like, why do I sound gay?
00:22:44 Justin
Something like that.
00:22:45 Justin
And it's interesting and kind of deconstructing the history of kind of the the gay voice.
00:22:52 Justin
But yeah, I I don't know.
00:22:54 Justin
Like what?
00:22:54 Justin
I I wanted to come back to that kind of didn't have anywhere to go.
00:22:56 Brittany
Yeah, yeah.
00:22:57 Justin
Like thinking about either being in central Illinois or in Chicago, like how that compares and kind of just comfort level because you also mentioned you also mentioned making more of an effort to get out and meet people in Chicago and how that?
00:23:12 Justin
Differs from when you were in central Illinois and the kind of the comfort level there.
00:23:16 Brittany
Yeah, I comfort, for me is always about safety.
00:23:21 Brittany
So when I was in central Illinois, particularly at the time where we were staying when I was working, there was a lot of racial tension.
00:23:32 Brittany
Like it wasn't just like, you know, across the country, because I think it was like 2016 and we all know what happened in 2016.
00:23:40 Brittany
But there was just like a lot of tension in the community. And so being active and being out as a black person, as a Tony quote UN quote, because I had already graduated from college and I was living there full time, it was, it was difficult to find spaces of me and one other coworker that I had who is a black woman.
00:23:59 Brittany
I mean, we bonded like we only really had each other and we talked so many times about all the dreams that we had about getting more black women together and creating space and being able to share ideas and lift each.
00:24:13 Brittany
Grew up, but we only had us like we only.
00:24:16 Brittany
Had the two.
00:24:16 Brittany
Of us and in Central Illinois, I feel like I really kept to myself quite a bit.
00:24:23 Brittany
If I did want to do something that was a little bit more outwardly queer or outwardly black, or anything along those lines like, I would go to Champaign, Urbana, IL.
00:24:33 Brittany
UM and I would go to EU of I because it's a much more diverse camp.
00:24:37 Brittany
This and so I really had to kind of pick and choose my battles of you know, how out do I want to be in in central Illinois or where I was living compared to like you know when I go up to the burbs and visit my parents.
00:24:53 Brittany
And so when we moved to the city, obviously the.
00:24:58 Brittany
The pandemic did not help but.
00:25:00 Brittany
That seeing so many more diverse people made me feel more safe that I can be myself, if that makes sense.
00:25:09 Brittany
Like it was an opportunity to be like oh, well, I can.
00:25:12 Brittany
I can walk down the street and I'm not gonna get stared at for, like, why are you here instead of?
00:25:17 Brittany
It's like ohh you like hey, how's it going?
00:25:20 Brittany
Like it's, I mean, granted I will say that people in Chicago aren't as nice as people in Central Illinois or other rural.
00:25:28
That's just, that's just me.
00:25:29 Brittany
But I think New York is a little bit worse, but no offense.
00:25:32 Brittany
New York Love New York, but.
00:25:34 Brittany
Yeah, it's it's it.
00:25:36 Brittany
It's being able to see yourself represented like even though it's not necessarily like.
00:25:44 Brittany
You know, I'm seeing a a stranger on the street that's black and I'm like, hey, let's form a group together.
00:25:50 Brittany
It's just more of, you know, OK, there are people here that look like me, which means that I can find my community.
00:25:58 Brittany
And when I was living in central Illinois, I.
00:26:00 Brittany
There was.
00:26:01 Brittany
One other person who looked like me and so it made it really difficult and disheartening honestly to want to.
00:26:10 Brittany
Engage with other folks and want to build any sort of community with that.
00:26:17 Justin
Thank you for sharing that.
00:26:19 Justin
Yeah, I get the the safety being a big thing and kind of being, you know, in that more rural area being the only one or one of two.
00:26:28 Justin
It makes me think of a couple of summers ago, so my family's all still in rural Iowa and we were at the lake and the the fire department like just drove by, you know, like small town. Like they're out cruising in the fire truck or whatever they do.
00:26:49 Justin
And one of the firemen was black. And so I was kind of surprised because I was like, you know, this is literally a town of less than 1000 people in rural Iowa.
00:26:58 Justin
So you just don't see any non white people and I I don't know if my dad will ever listen to the podcast.
00:27:05 Justin
So, you know, he may or may not be.
00:27:08 Justin
Upset with me for sharing this, but I he I was like ohh like you have like there's a black guy who lives in your town and he said he said yeah, but he's he's one of the good ones.
00:27:20 Justin
And I was like, I'm sorry what like they're like and going back to that TV representation.
00:27:30 Justin
Right of.
00:27:31 Justin
You know, it's like there's it's, it's that statement is a little bit like whoa but also.
00:27:38 Justin
So I spend a lot of time really trying to get myself in like I've I I've spent, you know, 44 years trying to get myself away from my dad's thinking, right.
00:27:50 Justin
But actually later in life I've spent more time trying to understand his perspective.
00:27:55 Justin
And you know, I'm like ohh gosh, you know, like I guess if if that's your experience, if your experience.
00:28:02 Justin
Is watching TV.
00:28:04 Justin
That's it.
00:28:05 Justin
And that's all the exposure you get then.
00:28:07 Justin
That's the kind of statement that you would make, right?
00:28:10 Justin
And it's unfortunate, but it's also, you know, what's there.
00:28:16 Brittany
Yeah, it happens quite a bit quite often.
00:28:20 Brittany
I've been.
00:28:20 Brittany
I've been told that I'm a good black way more times than I'd like to admit, which I'm like.
00:28:26 Brittany
And as a kid too, like to hear that and be like, wait, what?
00:28:29 Brittany
What does that mean?
00:28:30 Brittany
Like, like all the black people that I hang out with are are good.
00:28:33 Brittany
What are you?
00:28:33 Brittany
What are you talking about?
00:28:34 Brittany
And of course.
00:28:35 Brittany
It didn't take me until getting older to realize that was a microaggression and got it.
00:28:42 Justin
Yeah, thank you.
00:28:44 Justin
Is that?
00:28:44 Brittany
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:45 Brittany
I had a lot of like, thank you.
00:28:48 Brittany
In my life.
00:28:49 Brittany
So I yeah feel that.
00:28:50 Justin
Uh, uh. That's.
00:28:54 Justin
You know, and those those I want to relate that back to the work because those microaggressions sit in overbearing for individuals who have those blinders on and don't get that.
00:29:06 Justin
Like the way that you're viewing the world right now actually isn't the way that everyone sees it.
00:29:12 Justin
Yeah, and.
00:29:14 Justin
And you know it's it's I hope that this work continues to peel back those blinders a little.
00:29:22 Brittany
Bit umm definitely I and I think it will too. I think you know especially with all of the unrest that we had in 2020.
00:29:32 Brittany
Like it, it's hard to go back.
00:29:34 Brittany
You know, it's hard to it.
00:29:35 Brittany
I and I can see like in our landscape specifically our political landscape that it, there's a divide that they're trying to draw between both of us and it's about it.
00:29:48 Brittany
The way I see it, it's love versus hate and I'm on the love side.
00:29:52 Brittany
And I want to love everybody and I think everyone deserves to be loved and there's no reason that we can't all figure this out and get along.
00:30:01 Justin
I I I love that perspective of being on the side of love.
00:30:05 Justin
We we just need.
00:30:07 Justin
Part of it.
00:30:08 Justin
And I think that's a really a really great way to close our conversation today.
00:30:13 Justin
I I feel like we could sit and chat forever.
00:30:17 Justin
But I think that, you know, we'd have to have a multi part episode or something.
00:30:21 Justin
Because people would be like.
00:30:22 Brittany
Maybe next time.
00:30:23 Justin
Tuning out, but I do want to make sure that people know.
00:30:26 Justin
So you have a podcast and it is called your only black friend is that.
00:30:29
They do.
00:30:33 Brittany
Right, yes, your only black friend podcast.
00:30:36 Brittany
I started it.
00:30:38 Brittany
I want to say maybe.
00:30:39 Brittany
Over of 2021, it's been a passion project of mine for a really long time, mainly because I felt alone.
00:30:47 Brittany
I felt alone in my experiences of being in spaces where I was the only brown face, and I wanted to find other people who have that experience as well.
00:30:57 Brittany
So on it, I reached out to people.
00:30:59 Brittany
On TikTok and that's how I really got started of just meeting strangers and then posting videos about their experiences being the only black person. That was like hey, I have a podcast, get on here. Tell your.
00:31:12 Brittany
Story and I love I love saying this episode because it's it's one of my most successful episodes and this person has become a very dear friend of mine all through TikTok.
00:31:22 Brittany
But the episode is called Trap Music and Birkenstocks, and her perspective relates a lot to mine.
00:31:29 Brittany
And we went through a lot of similar experiences, although.
00:31:32 Brittany
She was in the South and I was in the North, quote UN quote. And so if anybody is going to listen or if you want to check it out, I highly recommend starting with that episode just because of all of the correlations, all of the things that we've talked about today, we touch on over there as well, so.
00:31:52 Justin
I haven't listened to that episode yet, so I'm definitely going to.
00:31:55 Justin
Check it out.
00:31:55 Brittany
Yes, please.
00:31:56 Justin
Thank you for that.
00:31:57 Justin
And two follow-ups to that.
00:31:59 Justin
So number one, you are building your own community, I love that.
00:32:03 Justin
And secondly, I love that you are.
00:32:08 Justin
I love anyone and and you know, saying this as it's something I strive to do is.
00:32:14 Justin
When when we don't feel like we have the right representation to step out and be that representation, and that's some of the additional work and research I've been doing to continue the work of creating belonging is digging into that authenticity where, you know, those of us with marginalized identities.
00:32:34 Justin
If we have the privilege to be in safe.
00:32:36 Justin
Spaces we have, we have an obligation to.
00:32:42 Justin
Will show up for others, so I love that you're doing that.
00:32:44 Brittany
Yes. Yep.
00:32:47 Justin
Thank you for showing up.
00:32:48 Brittany
Yes, thank you.
00:32:50 Brittany
I'm glad to be showing up it.
00:32:51 Brittany
It took a lot for me to get to this point, but the impact that I've been able to make, even if it's just been like a 5 or 6 text messages from people saying thank you for sharing your story has made a huge difference.
00:33:02 Brittany
And I'm always going to be an advocate for anyone of a marginalized group to share their story, because you deserve to be heard.
00:33:10 Brittany
And you deserve to share your experiences with other people and tell them how they made you feel and how you're going to grow from them, but also how you want them to grow from them.
00:33:19 Brittany
I think growth and healing is so important right now so that we can be a better society for each other.
00:33:26 Justin
Well, thank you so much for joining me.
00:33:27 Justin
Brittany, I had a great time talking with you and I have a feeling we'll we'll keep the conversation going with the recording up.
00:33:37
Yes, yes.
00:33:39
So it sounds fantastic.
