The Creating Belonging Podcast
In the book, Creating Belonging: A Practical Guide to Accelerate Belonging in Organizations and Communities, Justin Reinert describes a model where belonging sits at the intersection of authenticity and acceptance. In The Creating Belonging Podcast, host Justin Reinert will continue the conversation of creating belonging by discussing others' experiences when they've been at various levels of authenticity and acceptance in their communities. Our goal with this podcast will be to help others find new paths to belonging in their communities.
The Creating Belonging Podcast
Blonde Identity | Part 1
Let us know what you think of this podcast!
This was such a fun conversation! Tune in to hear about Lauren's blonde identity. We talk religion and sexuality and how the two mix.
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00:00:10 Justin
Welcome to the next episode of the Creating Belonging podcast.
00:00:14 Justin
Today, my guest is Lauren Glazen, and I want Lauren just to introduce herself.
00:00:20 Justin
So Lauren, tell us about you.
00:00:23 Lauren
Hi, Justin.
00:00:24 Lauren
UM and hi, everyone.
00:00:26 Lauren
So I'm Lauren and.
00:00:29 Lauren
What should I tell everyone about myself?
00:00:33 Lauren
I'm Lauren.
00:00:34 Lauren
I am a British person living in New York and and I'm Jewish and I'm gay and I'm fun.
00:00:43 Lauren
And I'm blonde, by the way, important identity that gets overlooked, I think.
00:00:49 Justin
Wait, hold on.
00:00:50 Justin
Hold on.
00:00:52 Justin
Are you a real blonde?
00:00:54 Lauren
That that does, you know these questions, I'll answer at a later.
00:00:58 Lauren
Date that doesn't matter.
00:01:00 Lauren
That's that doesn't.
00:01:01 Lauren
Matter for the content of this podcast.
00:01:03 Lauren
I am.
00:01:03 Justin
OK.
00:01:04 Lauren
I'm blonde, identifying.
00:01:06 Justin
It is a part of your identity.
00:01:09 Justin
So Lauren and I worked together several years ago and and maybe just to get us started as a fun way to.
00:01:17 Justin
Warm up in the book and I think even in the first episode of our podcast, I tell the my my favorite story about belonging was when I brought my team together in Chicago for a dinner, and then we went to a concert and Lauren was at said dinner.
00:01:34 Justin
And so I'm the only one who's been telling the story from from.
00:01:38 Justin
You know, kind of all the way along and because it's going to be part of this work, Lauren, what was your experience with that dinner?
00:01:45 Lauren
Yeah, I've got behind the scenes information for everyone you know about this dinner.
00:01:51 Lauren
So people are about to get the real now.
00:01:55 Lauren
I remember it so exactly how how you told, I mean obviously I I was a participant and I know that that you and I spoke about the dinner like recently actually and I said to you I'm I'm the person that keeps kosher in in the story.
00:02:11 Lauren
And you know every I've been kosher 17 years.
00:02:16 Lauren
And all 17 years I've gone to so many dinners and and those, you know, dinners and and events and things and and always.
00:02:23 Lauren
I I'm it's so ingrained in me now, like I'll have the other option.
00:02:27 Lauren
I'll have the modified option, you know.
00:02:30 Lauren
And and that's fine.
00:02:31 Lauren
Not everyone you know needs to accommodate every single dietary request, but for you, you know, and even I think I knew you for at least two years before that dinner.
00:02:42 Lauren
And every time you would.
00:02:44 Lauren
You know, I don't know if it's just your natural curiosity, but you'd always ask questions about it.
00:02:49 Lauren
You'd always want to know.
00:02:50 Lauren
Like so, what does this mean?
00:02:51 Lauren
Why can you not mix milk and meat?
00:02:54 Lauren
You know why.
00:02:54 Lauren
Do you have to like, do this or do that?
00:02:56 Lauren
So I think you, you know.
00:02:58 Lauren
I feel like you're just a generally curious person, but.
00:03:03 Lauren
The dinner definitely evolved into us all feeling.
00:03:07 Lauren
You know.
00:03:09 Lauren
Like we belong basically exactly sort of like you.
00:03:11 Lauren
Labeled it and.
00:03:12 Lauren
Also it's it's like a different feeling, right?
00:03:14 Lauren
You're going to your boss's house like you were the director of the group, so you know we we were invited into your space into your house.
00:03:22 Lauren
And you know, we were all, like side messaging about it.
00:03:24 Lauren
Like, what's it?
00:03:25 Lauren
Going to be like and.
00:03:29 Lauren
And it was really like it was really awesome.
00:03:32 Lauren
I think even to this day, and sorry if anyone listening.
00:03:35 Lauren
I've been on a team with since then, like that was one of the best teams, one of the best environments, one of the most authentic I have ever been and I still speak to everyone on that team and events.
00:03:48 Lauren
Like, are you inviting us into your house like it's just another level of?
00:03:54 Lauren
Feeling you know that team dynamic, so I don't even know if to answer the question.
00:03:58 Lauren
The food was delicious.
00:03:59 Lauren
You did not give us food poisoning and yeah.
00:04:05 Justin
Thank you.
00:04:06 Justin
So you know what's funny?
00:04:07 Justin
And I think when we talked about it.
00:04:09 Justin
The last time I I.
00:04:11 Justin
Sometimes I kind of forget what we served and it was.
00:04:15 Justin
I know that we had.
00:04:16 Justin
Salmon, right?
00:04:17 Justin
With like a with.
00:04:18 Justin
Pasta and like a tomato sauce.
00:04:20 Justin
That was the main.
00:04:22 Lauren
And a salad I remember.
00:04:24 Justin
Yeah, probably a salad with homemade dressing.
00:04:26 Justin
So I love, I love a homemade dressing.
00:04:29
Yeah, yeah.
00:04:30 Justin
UM.
00:04:32 Justin
And then I think we did have cheese like a cheese entree to start, but it was like, I knew that your rule was like 30 minutes between.
00:04:43 Justin
Everything right.
00:04:45 Lauren
Yeah, I mean typically it's 30 minutes between like dairy and meat.
00:04:49 Lauren
So fish like fish was OK.
00:04:54 Lauren
And I definitely remember that like we all you know, we all sat down and I don't think that was like me by the like, you know.
00:05:00 Lauren
Typical Chuck Chuck board.
00:05:02 Justin
No, there was not.
00:05:04 Lauren
Has pork and and salami and things like that and.
00:05:07 Lauren
And you know, there was.
00:05:08 Lauren
There was like none of that there.
00:05:09 Lauren
So I didn't even have to, you know bypass.
00:05:13 Lauren
The the meat on the on the cheese plate.
00:05:16 Lauren
Yeah, we also we sat on your sofas and you had like a great I.
00:05:20 Lauren
I don't think you still live there, but you have like an amazing view of like the water you were.
00:05:24 Lauren
We were like up high and we all like sat and hung out and drank wine.
00:05:28 Lauren
And I'm a massive lightweight.
00:05:30 Lauren
So I.
00:05:30 Lauren
Was probably wasted by the end of the cheese.
00:05:33 Lauren
Like 1 glass of wine and I'm, you know, I'm on the floor, so that hasn't changed by the way, Justin, I'm still.
00:05:40 Lauren
The lightweight.
00:05:41 Justin
That's alright.
00:05:41 Justin
That's OK.
00:05:45 Justin
I love.
00:05:46 Justin
I love bringing someone into the space of creating belonging of who was a part of that story.
00:05:54 Justin
So thank you for sharing.
00:05:56 Justin
And and the the curiosity thing.
00:05:58 Justin
I honestly I.
00:06:00 Justin
Think I have learned the most about the Jewish religion from you than anyone else.
00:06:07 Justin
So I wanna thank you for that.
00:06:09 Lauren
Yeah, you should label me Rabbi Lauren, and, you know, but on this because that's I I really like.
00:06:14 Lauren
I I think you're.
00:06:16 Lauren
You're curiosity and and it's really fun to teach people about it, you know.
00:06:20 Lauren
It's it's definitely a big part of my identity and and maybe we'll get into that more.
00:06:24 Lauren
You know, as as our time goes on together, but it's it's a massive part of my identity and and it's it's so fulfilling to.
00:06:35 Lauren
Talk to people that are just genuine, genuinely curious about it.
00:06:38 Lauren
So thank you for me that opportunity.
00:06:42 Justin
Well, let's get into it then so.
00:06:45 Justin
Looking at the creating belonging model and kind of the different areas of the creating belonging model, as you reflect on different experiences that you've had different communities that you've been in either work or you know with the church or like anything you know actually do you call it church?
00:07:02 Justin
Ohh my gosh.
00:07:02 Lauren
Yeah, synagogue.
00:07:04 Justin
Synagogue. Oh my gosh, see.
00:07:04 Lauren
Yeah, I was just going with that.
00:07:05 Lauren
I wasn't.
00:07:06 Lauren
I wasn't gonna.
00:07:06
You're right, you're.
00:07:07 Lauren
Right.
00:07:08 Lauren
I'm not alone here, but it's all it's it's perfect.
00:07:12 Justin
So so any experiences that you've had that that you can think of that come to light of like when you've sat in one particular quadrant?
00:07:12 Lauren
It's all good.
00:07:23 Lauren
You're such an interesting question and like I as I was preparing for this podcast, like really thinking about it and.
00:07:32 Lauren
I think I've been. I think I've sat in every quadrant, you know, in all of them. And I've sat in some more than the others and in different aspects of my life, like in a corporate environment. I've worked for several. I've been in corporate corporate companies for 10-11 years.
00:07:50 Lauren
And I've also been heavily involved in, like, creating Jewish experiences.
00:07:56 Lauren
And like, you know, different sort of Jewish organizations in my in my personal life.
00:08:03 Lauren
And so each of those buckets brings up, brings me into like, different quadrants.
00:08:10 Lauren
And I would say largely about being like a gay woman.
00:08:15 Lauren
And I would, you know, I would say so.
00:08:18 Lauren
When when you and I work together.
00:08:21 Lauren
I think I was.
00:08:23 Lauren
A recluse in in this model.
00:08:27 Lauren
Not physically.
00:08:28 Lauren
I was out a lot.
00:08:29 Lauren
But in in in the in the belonging, you know in in the model here.
00:08:35 Lauren
I was definitely withdrawn from the gay community and I think I over I was overbearing, potentially in the Jewish community because those were like and they still are like two of my strongest identities, along with being British and blonde.
00:08:51 Lauren
But I can't forget that one and so.
00:08:55 Lauren
And so I was.
00:08:56 Lauren
I was not out.
00:08:58 Lauren
I was in the closet.
00:09:00 Lauren
When we first started working together, although I think I told you like I think I told you personally very early on that I was not not entirely straight, but you do.
00:09:11 Justin
I remember it.
00:09:12 Justin
I absolutely.
00:09:14 Justin
I remember it.
00:09:15 Justin
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it was one.
00:09:18 Justin
It was probably one of my first trips to New York after you had started working on the team and we went out to the Stonewall Inn and you were like, ohh, by the way.
00:09:32 Justin
Totally remember.
00:09:34 Lauren
And that was massive for me.
00:09:36 Lauren
I mean, I think, you know, we sort of played it off and it.
00:09:38 Lauren
Yeah, it was what it was, but I that was a crazy thing for me to do. No one in you know, no one at home knew my parents didn't know. 99% of our colleagues didn't know.
00:09:53 Lauren
And and then there I am like telling my boss, you know and.
00:09:56 Lauren
And I've done a lot of work on opening up and being being able to be more vulnerable.
00:10:01 Lauren
You know those?
00:10:02 Lauren
Those are things I've struggled with a lot just in, in my personal life, but that was now what like?
00:10:09 Lauren
Years ago, like 7-8 years ago, that was a.
00:10:11 Lauren
Long time ago and.
00:10:11 Justin
Yeah, yeah.
00:10:13 Lauren
And yeah, I I definitely remember that.
00:10:15 Lauren
So when when you and I worked together, I was definitely more of a recluse.
00:10:20 Lauren
I wasn't in the community, at least not out.
00:10:23 Lauren
You know, I was secretly in the community and and obviously having a great time, but it's very it's a, it's a completely different.
00:10:33 Lauren
It's a completely different feeling when you are out in the community and and out loud and and proud, which I'm I'm so fortunate to be now.
00:10:42 Lauren
But yeah, I was.
00:10:43 Lauren
I wasn't then.
00:10:45 Lauren
And so that it it swings with your identities, right.
00:10:49 Lauren
It's making me question like.
00:10:51 Lauren
If you're in one one part of this model, where are your other identities?
00:10:56 Lauren
Because they don't all sit in the same quadrant at the same.
00:11:00 Justin
Yeah, yeah.
00:11:01 Justin
You know, you're making me me think a little bit about this because I like a lot of of the way that I describe it is.
00:11:08 Justin
Like we we if.
00:11:10 Justin
We look at one distinct community.
00:11:11 Justin
So for us it would have been the company that we worked in at that point in time.
00:11:17 Justin
And so in that one community.
00:11:17
Right.
00:11:19 Justin
We can can.
00:11:21 Justin
Be in one of the quadrants and we can shift around in those quadrants.
00:11:26 Justin
But what's interesting is yeah, when when?
00:11:28 Justin
I met you.
00:11:30 Justin
In 2015, I think you were very and I wouldn't call you overbearing, but very out with your you were authentically Jewish like you.
00:11:41 Justin
That was like a large part of your identity, and you want people to know that.
00:11:45 Justin
And I really.
00:11:45 Justin
Appreciate and respect that.
00:11:48 Justin
And then you were also.
00:11:52 Justin
Minimizing and hiding another part of your identity and so it's interesting because.
00:11:58 Justin
It makes me wonder.
00:12:01 Justin
Like when we have an identity that we can be out and proud about, which was your your religion, but another identity that we're like hiding and masking like, what's the like?
00:12:13 Justin
Where does that put us?
00:12:15 Justin
It's interesting.
00:12:15 Justin
So, and use.
00:12:17 Justin
You're saying that you felt like you were actually in recluse.
00:12:21 Lauren
Yeah, definitely.
00:12:22 Lauren
With my gay identity.
00:12:24 Lauren
For sure.
00:12:26 Lauren
Yeah, and.
00:12:27 Lauren
And and I think.
00:12:29 Lauren
Yeah, I I think it it really is interesting because for me, being Jewish, being like, out and loud about being Jewish is like low stakes, and I don't know if that like, translates or like makes sense, but being gay was like, much more emotional, much more like deeply, you know, rooted in some shame and some other things.
00:12:50 Lauren
Going on inside me and so it was definitely easier to be to be to be there.
00:12:57 Lauren
And that's like, you know, some of the personal work that I talk about.
00:13:00 Lauren
So there's a lot of psychology, I think that goes into this model as well and how we and how we talk about our identities and and how we just.
00:13:09 Lauren
Are be are are able to be authentic and belong.
00:13:13 Lauren
It's a lot to do with us and the environment, you know.
00:13:15 Lauren
Lots of factors.
00:13:16 Justin
Yeah, yeah, it's so.
00:13:19 Justin
So I guess where I'm still, I'm like thinking about, so like it was really at that point because you were.
00:13:28 Justin
Hiding that one part of your identity like it's really hard for you to be in a place of belonging because you're you're masking, hiding part of it.
00:13:38 Justin
So it's an interesting one because you're kind of like float.
00:13:41 Justin
Thing like the kind of you know around the minimizing, overbearing recluse like floating in there, but definitely not in belonging because your different identities are are in different places.
00:13:56 Justin
I I'm also curious kind of given some of the narrative around anti-Semitism and the rise of anti anti-Semitism.
00:14:08 Justin
When you say being a kind of, I guess maybe I don't if this sounds weird like out as a Jewish person.
00:14:14 Justin
Like I'm curious how that.
00:14:17 Justin
You know, and obviously you live in New York right now.
00:14:19 Justin
So like, it's that's very different than being Jewish.
00:14:23 Justin
And I don't know Missouri, I would assume, but I'm curious.
00:14:28 Justin
Kind of your experience or thoughts around that?
00:14:31 Lauren
Thank you for asking that.
00:14:32 Lauren
It's it's really important conversation at the moment.
00:14:35 Lauren
And let me give you some background.
00:14:36 Lauren
So I.
00:14:38 Lauren
I grew up in London and being Jewish in Europe is not something that you're out and proud about.
00:14:46 Lauren
You know, it's it's really anti-Semitism has always been high in Europe for obvious reasons, right.
00:14:53 Lauren
World War Two and and just some other things very close to Israel, which is, you know, a topic that.
00:14:58 Lauren
That has lots of nuances as well, and and in America, Jewish identity has always been like this is how this is my personal opinion.
00:15:06 Lauren
How I feel about it, Jewish identity in America especially again, I'm in a bubble.
00:15:10 Lauren
In New York.
00:15:12 Lauren
I think and it's almost seen as like.
00:15:17 Lauren
Overly accepted like a a privilege to be Jewish, and I cannot tell you the difference of of like of mindset that it is to be Jewish in Europe.
00:15:30 Lauren
So I go to synagogue on the holidays.
00:15:33 Lauren
There's no signage anywhere.
00:15:35 Lauren
There's armed guards around every synagogue.
00:15:37 Lauren
I mean this.
00:15:38 Lauren
You know, this is the last 30-4 years that I've been going. There's iron gates. Every single synagogue has massive iron gates. There is again, no signage. There's.
00:15:50 Lauren
There's police everywhere and that's for our safety and security in in Europe being Jewish.
00:15:57 Lauren
And then I moved to America 10 years ago, 10 years ago now.
00:16:02 Lauren
And I remember my first like 3 months in America.
00:16:06 Lauren
I went to an event by Jewish Federation in the.
00:16:10 Lauren
I was living in Pittsburgh at the time.
00:16:12 Lauren
Great place showed Pittsburgh and with the with the Jewish Federation of Pittsburgh, I got taken to a conference in Dallas.
00:16:21 Lauren
So we're in Texas, we're in Dallas.
00:16:23 Lauren
I'm on a coach with, you know, all these other Jewish people, we're going to this conference and we pull up and I look out the window.
00:16:33 Lauren
And on the and on the front of the building massive, I mean like 70 foot letters like welcome the Jewish Federation of Pittsburgh.
00:16:41 Lauren
Like we're so happy to have you.
00:16:42 Lauren
Like in massive letters.
00:16:44 Lauren
That said, well, like Jewish.
00:16:46 Lauren
And I'm walking into a building, no security anywhere, no nothing.
00:16:50 Lauren
And we're talking about we're telling everyone that Jews are inside this building.
00:16:55 Lauren
And I said to, I turned to my friend and I said this is like, what?
00:16:58 Lauren
How are we going in there?
00:16:59 Lauren
Like what it was?
00:17:00 Lauren
Was literally unheard of for me to like be able to go into a building that promotes being Jewish in America and feel safe.
00:17:09 Lauren
And it was like the best night ever.
00:17:11 Lauren
Of course, it was completely safe.
00:17:14 Lauren
It's just it was just very, very different.
00:17:16 Lauren
So that's just like some of the nuances even in my identities of being British and Jewish and living both places and having, you know, identities like whirling around everywhere there so.
00:17:30 Justin
I didn't.
00:17:31 Justin
I didn't realize.
00:17:32 Justin
And so even in in London, that was your experience.
00:17:35 Lauren
Ohh yeah yeah.
00:17:37 Lauren
And you know me like.
00:17:37 Justin
I didn't realize that.
00:17:37 Lauren
I'm yeah.
00:17:39 Lauren
Yeah, I'm obnoxious.
00:17:40 Lauren
I'm loud.
00:17:41 Lauren
I'm annoying, especially like, especially, you know, early Lauren and I younger Lauren and I would wear massive, you know, star of Davids, I had Israel stickers on my car and people, you.
00:17:55 Lauren
Know my parents.
00:17:56 Lauren
You like Lauren?
00:17:57 Lauren
Just be careful.
00:17:57 Lauren
Like you, you can't park your car in London with these, you know, like just we, you know, we're a little worried here.
00:18:03 Lauren
And I'm like, I don't care like, whatever.
00:18:05 Lauren
And now I'm like, I get it.
00:18:07 Lauren
Like I, you know, I really.
00:18:08 Lauren
I really get it.
00:18:09 Lauren
So yeah, even in London.
00:18:12 Lauren
Definitely it was scary and and so how it feels to me is like America's catching up with the 1st 24 years of my life, how I had to be, you know, being Jewish.
00:18:25 Lauren
So yeah.
00:18:26 Justin
Wait, but catching up like?
00:18:30 Lauren
In like a lap.
00:18:30 Justin
Tell me. Yeah. OK.
00:18:33 Lauren
Yeah, like right in a in a regressive way, where Jews are feeling unsafe where we are, you know, the attacks are on the rise by, you know, I I don't remember the percentage by hundreds of percentage and people are just becoming.
00:18:34 Justin
Yeah, I'm like, in a regressive way.
00:18:52 Lauren
More disengaged.
00:18:56 Justin
How so?
00:18:57 Justin
I know that you're very involved, you know, across, you know, within your synagogue and kind of across the country in different organizations.
00:19:05 Justin
So I'm curious how you see others.
00:19:11 Justin
Shifting how they show up in the world.
00:19:16 Lauren
You mean jewishly?
00:19:18 Justin
Yeah, yeah, jewishly.
00:19:19 Justin
Is that the word jewishly?
00:19:21 Lauren
Yeah, it is.
00:19:22 Justin
Now I love it.
00:19:26 Lauren
I see people shifting a lot and I see people scared.
00:19:31 Lauren
I also think generationally, it's different millennials, boomers, Gen.
00:19:35 Lauren
Z, you know, there's lots of studies done and and in 50 years from now, what?
00:19:39 Lauren
What's it going to look like?
00:19:41 Lauren
And I see people showing up.
00:19:46 Lauren
In ways where they are still being Jewish, but in in in sort of a less loud way.
00:19:54 Lauren
So we will meet up for holidays but in someones house or you know, like in a synagogue and even synagogues, you know, in Brooklyn where I live.
00:20:05 Lauren
There's not that many younger people going to synagogue anymore.
00:20:11 Lauren
And I was so really proud was.
00:20:12 Lauren
So I would, I would say, culturally, very Jewish, but religiously that that dial is being turned down in my experience.
00:20:22 Lauren
And like you said, I've I've been involved in lots of different Jewish organizations, one of which is.
00:20:27 Lauren
It's called Moishe House and.
00:20:31 Lauren
I know you know well, I was very involved when you and I worked together and and moisture house, you know, creates Jewish Jewish experiences for people.
00:20:43 Lauren
Where they're at like, you know, really sort of wants to promote.
00:20:48 Lauren
Whatever it means for you to be Jewish, that's what you should.
00:20:52 Lauren
Do so.
00:20:53 Lauren
I would put on different types of.
00:20:55 Lauren
And then some Jewish, some not Jewish.
00:20:58 Lauren
But you know, we would all be, we would all be there.
00:21:01 Lauren
We'd be hanging out and that would be, that would feel Jewish in some ways.
00:21:05 Lauren
But there was.
00:21:06 Lauren
Oftentimes, not much religious affiliation.
00:21:10 Lauren
And I think that's something that.
00:21:13 Lauren
That us Jews do do pretty well.
00:21:14 Lauren
We just like we love commune.
00:21:16 Lauren
Community is the biggest part of being Jewish.
00:21:19 Lauren
Socializing, food, drinking.
00:21:22 Lauren
I was explaining what being Jewish meant to to some of my friends the other day, and I'm like basically we get.
00:21:27 Lauren
Really drunk?
00:21:29 Lauren
We eat, we eat a lot of food.
00:21:31 Lauren
There's there's one holiday in particular.
00:21:33 Lauren
It's called Purim and you are commanded to get drunk and to be in a different frame of mind than you are when you're sober, so you can access different thoughts, and you can connect in different ways so.
00:21:47 Lauren
I just we really, we lean hard into those parts of Judaism in my wealth and and what I can see we just make it fun.
00:21:54 Justin
Your your description of your experience.
00:22:00 Justin
I've always been like maybe maybe I can get into this, like maybe I should.
00:22:06 Justin
I should, because like, I don't know, can I become Jewish?
00:22:09 Lauren
Absolutely you can.
00:22:10 Justin
OK.
00:22:11 Lauren
We yeah, we never we don't go and recruit people, you know different to some other religions but we totally accept it.
00:22:20 Justin
OK.
00:22:23 Lauren
We could do with a few more.
00:22:24 Lauren
We could do with a few more juice, so come.
00:22:26
On over.
00:22:27 Justin
I I mean I I the the way that you describe your experience I just like I've I've always appreciated it and it's different to what I assumed or expected.
00:22:38 Justin
But I think the one of the things that I love, you know, aside from the partying aspect that you've described.
00:22:45 Justin
One of the things that I love is just the the idea of community and the strength of, you know, bringing people together.
00:22:53 Justin
And you know, even, you know, like Shabbat on Friday, like, you know, just shutting everything down and enjoying time with loved ones.
00:23:06 Justin
That I love that.
00:23:07 Justin
I think that's incredible.
00:23:09 Justin
And I think we could all like we don't need to be Jewish, but I think we need to embrace that.
00:23:15 Justin
That principle of, you know, tuning, tuning to the ones that mean the most to us, not tuning to our phones.
00:23:27 Justin
I want to hear.
00:23:28 Justin
I want to hear.
00:23:29 Justin
So you know the you talked about biggest parts of your identity being Jewish, being gay and being.
00:23:40 Justin
So I I'm I'm curious, you know, and I think that there's a I'm assuming there's a lot of variations of Judaism, right?
00:23:50 Justin
Just as there is a lot of variations of and interpretations of Christianity.
00:23:55 Justin
So I'm curious.
00:23:56 Justin
In your experience, as you came out with your sexual identity.
00:24:02 Justin
How that worked in with your religion and even in particular thinking about the creating belonging model, what quadrant did you what you know, what experience did you go through in the quadrants within your own synagogue?
00:24:19 Lauren
Yeah, it's a great question. And also just one point on Shabbat, thank you for bringing it up. It is the best 25 hours of the week for sure.
00:24:27 Lauren
And it's funny.
00:24:27 Lauren
I was.
00:24:27 Lauren
I was actually reading.
00:24:28 Lauren
I was reading something about it just quickly and and and.
00:24:32 Lauren
It said it was like a conversation between two people and someone said how on Earth am I going to be able to not be on my phone, not be on my computer, not be on my Kindle, not be because it for the Sabbath, for the for Shabbat, we turn all electricity off and and.
00:24:50 Lauren
And I think it was a rabbi that answered.
00:24:52 Lauren
And he said.
00:24:54 Lauren
This is the time that we need it the most.
00:24:57 Lauren
The more technology we have in our lives, the more we should be disconnecting from it just for a period of time, and I I couldn't agree more.
00:25:06 Lauren
I know I I I go to the sauna a lot.
00:25:09 Lauren
Actually, this is not in my Jewish identity and I always try and leave my.
00:25:13 Lauren
Phone outside the sauna because I'm like I'm forcing myself for these 30 minutes to be without my phone and even the 30 minutes.
00:25:20 Lauren
I'm like rushing back to my phone.
00:25:22 Lauren
You know like.
00:25:23 Lauren
We all are.
00:25:24 Lauren
But and so for 25 hours seems like such so many hours.
00:25:28 Lauren
And it is so necessary, so so necessary in this day and.
00:25:33 Lauren
Age, especially in mental health and you know, so it all I think I think we were on to something 2000 years ago when we.
00:25:39 Lauren
Came up with this rule.
00:25:41 Justin
Yeah, I.
00:25:42 Justin
So I literally this morning I just finished the book stolen focus.
00:25:50 Justin
And it is written by a, A fellow Londoner, Lauren.
00:25:57 Justin
But it is fascinating how.
00:26:01 Justin
Technology and not even just technology, but just our way of life, is destroying our focus, our ability to focus and so that idea of being able to unplug for a bit and reset is so.
00:26:08
OK.
00:26:17 Justin
So yes, this is a good side shoot.
00:26:19 Justin
So go turn off your technology after after you're done listening to this podcast.
00:26:24 Lauren
Yeah, obviously.
00:26:25 Justin
Turn off your technology.
00:26:26 Lauren
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:30 Lauren
Listen, all the way through before you turn off.
00:26:31 Lauren
Your phone? Yeah.
00:26:34 Lauren
But yeah, to answer your question from before, you know how, how is my Jewish identity, my gay identity and and and how?
00:26:41 Lauren
How did it intertwine when coming out?
00:26:45 Justin
Hey, Justin here when I started the creating belonging podcast, I set out to create one that I would listen to and that means episodes shorter than 30 minutes.
00:26:56 Justin
So far we've been hitting the mark, but I was enjoying my conversation with Lauren so much that I'm splitting this episode into two parts.
00:27:05 Justin
We'll be releasing a special second part to this episode in one week, so check back next week to learn how Lauren reconciled her Jewish and gay identities.
