The Creating Belonging Podcast
In the book, Creating Belonging: A Practical Guide to Accelerate Belonging in Organizations and Communities, Justin Reinert describes a model where belonging sits at the intersection of authenticity and acceptance. In The Creating Belonging Podcast, host Justin Reinert will continue the conversation of creating belonging by discussing others' experiences when they've been at various levels of authenticity and acceptance in their communities. Our goal with this podcast will be to help others find new paths to belonging in their communities.
The Creating Belonging Podcast
S2E9: Harnessing Wit and Determination to Overcome Life's Hurdles
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Ever felt like the odds were stacked against you? Michael Stein's incredible journey from underdog to entrepreneur extraordinaire will convince you that anything is possible with resilience and humor. In our latest episode, Michael pulls back the curtain on his life, revealing a story that begins with his family's fight against adversity and stretches through his own personal battles with health and learning disabilities. He shares how the movie 'Rocky' served as a catalyst for his transformation, leading him to a path filled with fitness milestones and entrepreneurial ventures. Highlighting the peaks and valleys of his career, including a memorable stint in 'Boogie Nights' and the daring move to finance his own feature film, Michael's narrative is a powerful testament to the strength of self-belief and the significance of finding and capitalizing on niche markets.
Michael doesn't just stop at recounting his victories; he dives into the entrepreneurial spirit inherited from his family, and how it molded his business acumen, contrasting with the uncertainties of pursuing an acting career. He also addresses the role of comedy in his life as a bridge towards social acceptance and a way to confront the growing sensitivities around antisemitism with wit and grace. Furthermore, Michael discusses the importance of embracing neurodiversity in the workplace and how his journey has deepened his empathy and leadership skills. Join us as we explore these rich narratives, and be sure to check out Michael's podcasts and his innovative Bola pack product line, where his creativity continues to shine.
You can find Michael on LinkedIn and his website, michaelsteinmedia.com.
You can order your copy of Creating Belonging on Amazon.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Creating Belonging podcast. Today I have with me Michael Stein. Michael, if you would just take a few moments to introduce yourself.
Michael:Well, okay, so my typical story is one of being a long shot. I do a podcast called Long Shot Leaders and I consider myself a long shot. My grandmother escaped the Russian concentration camps on the way to America and my dad was a New York homeless street kid, became a multimillionaire, only to be homeless again. And then, you know, I had to sleep in the same room, my grandmother, when I was, you know, uh, tell us like nine years old, cause I was the youngest, so I'd hear that story about how she escaped the Russian concentration camps, you know, and my dad, I hear about it. You're lucky to have what you have, cause, you know, we, we, we grew up in a rich family, in a rich neighborhood, but we were a poor family. We're like the insinual Jubilees, you know. You had the old cars in a nice area, you know, but, uh, so you should appreciate what you have. Uh, I was a premature kid health issues, add, they didn't know what it was back then. Uh, dyslexia and um, just awkward, you know, not a lot, not a lot of wins, and uh, other than making people laugh. And then, um, uh, one day my parents took me, like most, uh, american kids. They took me to see a movie called Rocky and I was like, wow, this is going to change my life. I, this guy's like me, he's, he's funny, but he's not successful. And, um, he keeps on getting knocked down and keeps on trying, you know, and I said, the only difference in this guy myself is he's physically fit. So then, every day after that, I started working out self, is he's physically fit? So then, every day after that, I started working out. I was like 11 or 12 years old and then, by the time I was 16, I became a physical fitness trainer. I was like you would consider the epitome of health at that time and I said, wow, that's that's. You know, people are commenting how physically fit I was. And I was like, well, that's two things I can make people laugh and I can now, you know, train people and I'm successful at being physically fit. So I was like, wow, time plus effort.
Michael:So I, my high school, um, as I was graduating, my high school tutor asked me what, what do you want to do? Uh, for um, you know, after you're done with high school, I said, well, I want to be an entrepreneur, an actor and a standout comedian. She goes you might want to just work with your hands because not everybody's meant to do what they want to do. And I said, ah, screw you. My dad didn't even finish the eighth grade and he became a multimillionaire. Granted, he's living in a van outside of the house right now, but you know, visiting my mom. But you know, you know he was successful and I'm just going to, I'm graduating high school.
Michael:So I started my own company, um, a day after I graduated high school and made two sales within, like you know, 20 minutes uh, selling out of my bedroom, uh, selling tools, and um, after that I failed miserably. I didn't sell anything and I was like it's summertime and everybody's having fun. I was like, screw it. So then I took some acting courses at local city college along with a business class and, um, I said I got to start doing standup. So I did stand up. I was, uh, 19 years old, uh, you know, six months later when I did that. And then I brought a lot of people there. I said, you know, I'm really not going to make money doing standup. You know you do open mic nights and all that. But I said I could start to promote nightclubs, because in Los Angeles, where I was born and raised. That was a big business back then, back in the late 80s. So I said I'm going to be a nightclub promoter. So then, six months later, I became the number one nightclub promoter, uh, in my age bracket. And uh, I was like, wow, here we go again. You know, time plus effort, you know, as long as you believe in yourself. So I started uh from there, opened up the door for a lot of things, uh, to be an actor and a filmmaker. My first acting role is playing dirt Diggler and the dirt Diggler story which became Boogie Nights, which I appear in as well. There's a short film to Boogie Nights and that turned into a big motion picture and I appear in Boogie Nights. And I was like, wow, you know, I see how this process is done. So I started making my own films and won a lot of awards for that and it was a long journey of there.
Michael:I quit my nightclub business to make these big movies and you know it came to a point where I didn't have any money, you know, and I wanted to make a feature film, cause I got close to getting a movie deal, for my short films was word winning short film. And I said, you know, I gotta be an entrepreneur again. And the only problem was is, you know, I didn't have any money. I was broken in debt. I didn't have any money to make the film. I didn't have any money to start a business, but I just I started building a website sell tarps online, which is a niche thing and I heard you get, the riches are in the niches.
Michael:So within six months I made almost a half a million dollars and I was able to pay for my movie called love Hollywood style, which I casted Faye Dunaway, academy award actress, and Andy Dick and Coolio and a crazy cast many other actors you've seen and I got to wrote direct Andy Dick and Coolio and a crazy cast many other actors you've seen and I got to wrote direct, wrote direct, produce act in this film. And I nearly bought him out the business that I created, the tarspluscom business and I was like you know, I can take care of this business and and and the film did well, it got you know, bought, you know and it did decent. But I said I'm gonna take care of this business and since then that business has earned over a hundred million dollars and continues to grow. And I'm launching another big business called Bola Tour in two months which hopefully revolutionized the backpack industry.
Michael:And I do this podcast called Longshot Leaders because I said if I'm going to do a podcast, it would be about people that have overcome large obstacles to find success. And I'm talking to you today because you know much of that journey. I never felt like I belonged. Sometimes I feel still I feel like I don't belong, but you know, the journey continues and that's why I'm here today.
Justin:Yeah, michael, thank you for sharing that. I love the background, like such rich experiences you have, so like we could talk about a ton, but I have a few places I want to dig. I think one of the reasons I reached out and wanted to have you on the podcast was, you know, when I look at the combination of identities that you use to describe yourself entrepreneur, actor, writer, director, producer, stand up comedian and then personal development expert and that there was this combo that I was like this guy sounds interesting. I think we can have a fun conversation let's chat. So I want to pick up on kind of where you just left off, because this is actually one of the areas that I wanted to dig into. You've been really a lifelong entrepreneur and you know that can be kind of a lonely journey at times. So I'm curious how you've built community and found places to fit in and belong in your career.
Michael:Well, I'm an entrepreneur because I don't feel like I was ever hireable and all I know is entrepreneurs. My dad was an entrepreneur, his dad was a fruit peddler or his dad was. His dad was actually a manager from Jimmy Durante for a couple of times. He's like a job or, you know, he's searching around. But I come from a long line of like entrepreneurs. My uh, when my grandmother escaped the Russian concentration camps, her uh dad, my great grandfather, he owned a, one of the only candy factories in Kiev and he had to leave it all because you, they didn't like jews back then either. So, um, you know, uh, I, I have always heard this story. You know you, you know that's what you know you're. You have a family of entrepreneurs.
Michael:Uh, working for other people just didn't seem real to me, seem more real to me to start your own company, because that seemed like more, it seemed easier, rather than somebody choosing me, because I don't feel like anybody would want to choose me either. You, you know, um, that's that was the problem I had with acting. You know, it's like auditioning. I was like, you know, I felt like people don't want to choose me. It's just the insecurity part of it and I felt more secure just starting my own business and, um, that's, uh, that's the sense of, the sense of the belonging, you know, is like the only time I, when I was younger, it started, you know, because being awkward, you know, and and having um just these idiosyncrasies that I had, um making people laugh at me or making them laugh at anything.
Michael:You know was the icebreaker. So those were my tools to uh make people laugh and, uh, my entrepreneurial career is just because I felt like it was just more doable yeah, that's interesting.
Justin:um, so, if you think about the and that was actually another area that I wanted to dig so maybe let's go a little bit deeper there and look at the intersection there of the, the role that comedy has played in, you know, you being an entrepreneur kind of digging into comedy, uh, and you do that because you're like, you know to paraphrase what you just said you know to make people laugh, made you feel good and even if they were laughing at you, like you were giving people enjoyment. So I'd love to hear more about you know, if you think about belonging, your feeling of belonging and comedy, whether people are laughing at you or with you. I want to dig into that a little bit.
Michael:Yeah, you know it's tough because stand up, you know you can easily feel like you don't belong, because they don't laugh at you. You feel like, well, here we go again. All those old feelings come back, you know.
Michael:but it's just, you know it's, it's just inherent in who you are. And you know it's interesting with standup. You know I just did stand up Um, I'm taking a break over there cause I got to launch my company, um bullet tour, but uh, I uh was doing standup. Uh, I think it was about six weeks ago, eight weeks ago, you know, and um, you know, right now it's it's interesting, cause sometimes you could always feel like you don't belong. You know, I'm like right now I guess I don't feel like because I'm a caucasian jewish guy, older jewish guy. You know I'm not the young comedian anymore and you know it's like.
Michael:You know it's tough time for the jews, you know, because there's a lot of stuff's going on and and it's almost like you know, there's a lot of people that want to say things and you you got to grow tough skin when it comes to try to get laughs. So you know that's that. That sense has been interesting and navigating that. But there's always a corkscrew. There's always a way to, and that's what I love about standup is always a way to try to find the rapport and try to find common ground and try to find a joke.
Michael:That you know, cause people are people really, at the end of the day, you know they they all want the same things. They all have six human needs. You know psychology, which I believe in, you know, which is a more personal development thing, where people just want to feel certainty. They want a sense of variety, they want a sense of love and connection and growth and significance. And you know if you could find the rapport of you know who you're talking to, whether it's stand up or me and you today. You know you find out what. You know you're feeding those people. There's six human needs. They just have different vehicles for it. Everybody's got a different thumbprint on how to get the vehicle for those needs.
Justin:And that's that's how I navigate through that. Yeah, ok, so I want to dig into one piece there so the your kind of Jewish identity and as a comedian and kind of the the rise in antisemitism right now I want to dig a little more there. I'm just it's surprising to me that that would even come up. I mean it is and it's not right, like I don't know, if you're in a comedy club, like why are you like I don't know, like what experiences have you had that have been kind of backlash against?
Michael:uh, it happens, I don't know, like, uh, you know, I've, you know, sometimes like gonna, just recently, and nothing too extreme, not like the one that had the girl that with the bottle through the can the beer threw out, or whatever, that the jew comedian girl. But uh, you know, I was on stage and I did a routine and, uh, I didn't say anything bad about anybody in particular, you know, but I I, you know said I didn't say anything about Jewish or whatever. Like another comedian, I was like easy Jewish guy or something like that, you know. And and then other comedians you know, like, uh, and that's really weird, it's out here in Austin, texas, which is like, you know, you, you know, you think it's not a small. You know, uh, somebody was like, you know, just went into their own little um rant about, uh, you know, uh, jewishness and and and and all that you know. And I was, you know, hey, look, you know people, you gotta be able. There's a big world out there, 8 billion, almost Right. So people are going to have opinions, you know. So just got to realize like what, what?
Michael:The thing that helped me through that is realizing what need are they trying to meet? You know, by saying something that would be a negative vehicle towards meeting one of those needs. You know what? What is it? Significance Is it? Is it trying, you know? Is it trying to gain connection with another group that they're there with, you know? So that's kind of like mollifies, my, my, my um. It breaks it down to like matrix to me, you know, like cause.
Michael:I think everybody is operating off of the same six human needs, you know, and and uh, from it's very Tony Robbins thing, but I've done everything that he's ever done. So I'm kind of uh, you'll hear a lot of parallels between Tony Robbins and me, but I think that people operate, you know, by those things and and so that's that's that's helped me navigate through that though, because recently has been tough, you know, to hear some of those things because of my background. But you know everybody, you start to realize, you know it really forces you to be objective as well, you know. So that's, uh, that's important as well, to be objective. So you don't judge people, you know, till you look at yourself as well.
Justin:Yeah, it's, you know it's. I like how you're positioning that and I do think some of those statements like if somebody is in a crowd and they yell something like that, I think it is connection, it's their perceived way of connecting with others thinking like I'm saying the thing that everyone else is thinking, and so it's a way of, you know, standing up with others in their own mind.
Michael:They might feel like they're getting, they're contributing as well, you know, and that's a. That's a, that's a noble need, but it's also a negative vehicle. If you feel, if your contribution is being negative to you, there's a triad, it's called the triad of a good decision. If it's good for you and it's good for me and it's good for the greater good, you need all three, Then it's a tri. That's not exact science, it's a great art form, but but you need those three to. That's the triad of a good decision.
Justin:Yeah, yeah, I like that when it it makes me think, when I, when I try to bring that back to the creating belonging model I'm thinking about it's that accept the acceptance piece of you know, am I? Am I? Am I expressing my values in a way that are trampling on someone else? Am I expressing my values in a way that are trampling on someone else? Or am I suspending my own values to try to let someone else in? And that's kind of where we like to focus. The other thing I'm curious about in your comedy so back to kind of I always like to just tie back into the model and then, and then we go from there. So on the authenticity side, you know, authenticity requires a lot of vulnerability and I would assume I've I've tried to do comedy in front of people, like briefly, and have failed miserably, and so in my experience it requires a lot of vulnerability. I would imagine getting up on stage repeatedly requires a lot of vulnerability. So I'm just I'm curious tell me a little bit more about about your experience with that.
Michael:That comes really inherently because my, my mother who's this good looking Marilyn Monroe lady right next to her, right here she's she had the personality of Don Rickles really warm one he was. She Don Rickles is actually a really loving guy, very funny. And so my mom, you know, was very open about everything you know. So I grew up in an environment, so it was my dad. So you know I grew up around a lot of volatility. You know my dad. You know my mom got divorced but you know I was around a lot of you know stuff.
Michael:My mom would say like she, she says say things out of blue of like you know I'm, I got a really upset stomach, you know, and I'm younger, before I was married and I was like you know, this is Chili's, maybe I should get the chili, and my mom's like you can't eat that. You got diarrhea. I was like you know, nothing is censored, you know nothing is like everything is like out in the open, and my mom was just that kind of lady that she's like very little sensor, you know, and she would just say things like you know, I was the youngest, you know, and she's like you know my son, I didn't plan on this one. You know I drank, I smoke, I ran up and down the stairs, you know, but he survived. But I say that because now you know I love him, because I said it out loud and that way I'm copying to it. You know that was his way of showing her.
Michael:You know that she loved me. The truth was, you know that she loved me Every. The truth was, you know, uh, loving. If I got too big for my britches, she would love to knock me down a little bit. If I, if I was, if I needed some boosting, she would lovingly boost me up. So that's where my standup comes from my mother being and, um, and my whole family just being so open. There's not a lot of sensory there. You just talk about like you could literally ask me anything right now and I'm almost going to be like, probably be inclined just to like tell you like the personal details of my life, just because it's easier for me and that's the way I've been built yeah, yeah, I definitely identify with that.
Justin:I think I've I've worked on um, trying to add some filters, just because most of the people around me uh, don't always appreciate how open I am, um, and talking about those awkward things. I don't always appreciate how open I am and talking about those awkward things and I don't know where it comes from. It's just somehow how I was built, but I love that, so that vulnerability just comes as a set of your default programming, like second nature and I've had to learn how to censor a little bit set of your default programming, like second nature.
Michael:Yeah, I don't, you know. I and you know I've had to learn how to censor a little bit because, you know, in the past I was just like you know, such a wild animal, just like just blurting out or saying things, you know, and I didn't know. I don't want to pay too much heed to ADHD, but I learned it as an adult and I don't want to give it a moniker because I still believe that you can control, you know, your, your mind control is very important but I, I, I fit all the boxes, you know. So, um, I, uh, blurting things out, being very impulsive, that's just, that's. That's my second, you know, I got to make sure that. You know that you're aware of that. It's like, okay, let's take our time, not knee jerk react.
Justin:Yeah, I actually that was another one of the topics that I wanted to dig into because you mentioned, you know, when you were younger, when you were a kid, we didn't have all the words, we didn't have ADHD, and so there was, you know, I'm sure there were many definitions that were thrown around and now it's something that we would throw in, you know, the bigger bucket of neurodiversity or neurodivergence, um, and it's, it's a topic that I've been exploring because it it does.
Justin:Going back to something that you said, kind of one of the reasons why you're an entrepreneur is because you didn't feel like you were hireable, and and we find that, I think, in the workplace, where people who are not neurotypical then don't fit the you know the mold of professionalism that we often think about, but it doesn't mean that those people don't bring talent into the workplace. So I want to talk a little bit about that and you know the, the role that that's had in your at any point in your life, if you can think of, you know where it stood out the most, maybe, or I don't know that and kind of your belonging, like where it either gave you belonging or negatively impacted your belonging.
Michael:You know I believe iron sharpens iron, so I think it's helped me. You know it's hindered me in the past. You know there's. You know, when I was navigating through it, white knuckling it, and there was no moniker for it. You know I was put in a special school at UCLA when I was a kid for some. You know they took me out of my regular elementary school and it was called for an all school and it was for, you know, special needs. But they didn't have like the names where you know, and I just remember being in there with a bunch of different kinds of all you know, cause they just glommed in everybody. It was not like a specialty kind of thing for whatever you were, just like everybody was bunched in. I remember telling the teacher look, I'll do whatever I got to do to get out of this situation. I feel as though I was being punished. I just want to go back to my regular elementary school. You just tell me what I got to do and I'll study or do whatever I got to do. So eventually, like like five, six months later, my parents are let's go back, take him back. But they don't know what. You know what's going on, you know, it's just a little different.
Michael:And um, and then also, I had, you know, focusing problems with my eyes. It was a form of dyslexia, where a great doctor named Dr Getz in Los Angeles area is known for having to go through exercises to alleviate your eyes from doing certain things. My eyes would like, just you know, get lost in the page or, like you know, like the words jumping in front of each other and like double vision. Weird, you know my, my own little esoteric kind of problem with that. So, um, and and and such a great doctor to where you know I I don't know whether I adjusted it cause no one knows. You know what they, how other people see, you know, but um 2020, you know and and and, not a problem you know right now. Um, at least where I've adapted, but as far as you know um, going through the uh, you know how it's helped.
Michael:I think that you know a lot of people that have that similar, you know, situation. It's helped. You be to have with empathy. You know um, I'll say a lot, of, a lot of um times with you know people. For the most part, it's I've had so many employees throughout the years, tons of employees, you know, so you're always going to find one of them. I say, ah, that guy, you know he was this way or that way. But for the majority of the employees you'd ask to work with me, I say, you know, he was really good guy. I like working with that guy, you know um, you know or the that doesn't absolve, you know, maybe you didn't pay it out. You always try to be on the on the highest level of you know pay, of, of understanding, of appreciation and all that. And I think that being a person that has you know um, that's been humbled in most of their life is it makes for a more empathetic um person to work for work with and, uh, relationship wise, um same.
Michael:You know significant other for 20 years almost, and I think that those things help along. But you got to work at it as long as you're cognitive, of whatever your typical corkscrews are, whatever your weaknesses are, and I think that's why personal development was such a big thing for me, because it gave me a roadmap to say, okay, two steps forward, one step back. I understand that let's work on these things and so along through navigation. I think it's helped me.
Justin:Yeah, okay. The one soundbite I'm taking from that is those moments of being humbled helped you increase your empathy and, I think you know, tying that back into the model that is helping us find more acceptance for others. So that's, that's great and a great, a great closing note, michael, thank you so much for taking some time to chat with me today. I will make sure to share some links in the show notes, but I want to make sure you have a moment to um, you know, share what, how? How should people engage with you if they want to come find you?
Michael:Just go to michaelsteinmedia. com, everything's right there. The uh, you'll see. There's three podcasts right now. That's the uh long shot leaders, which I mentioned. The Stein time show, which are uh actors and comedians. And uh, the Bolitor podcast, which launches in March 5th, which is the Kickstarter campaign of Bola tour, which is the outdoor brand. We created a patented brand of backpacks that are they're called Bola packs and they're like it's a, it's a tarp, it's a. It's a backpack that opens up to a tarp, that's a hammock that has a drain on it, that attaches to a soft cooler or a tactical backpack or a day pack or lunchbox. You know a pack and it's all these interchangeable backpacks and they're called Bolo packs and you can go to bolotourcom and find out more about that. But if you just go to michaelsteinmediacom, you'll find out more about me and my bio that you saw and all that other stuff.
Justin:Awesome. Well, thank you so much, michael, and stay tuned for another episode of the Creating Belonging podcast. Thanks,
