Episode 31: A Parent’s Guide to Keeping Kids Safe Online from Adult Content

In this episode of Double Down Michigan, we’re joined by Alisha Meneely from the Michigan Children’s Protection Registry to talk about how families can better protect children from harmful online content. Alisha breaks down how the Protect MI Child initiative helps block adult-themed ads, gambling promotions, and inappropriate messaging from reaching kids' devices. She also shares eye-opening insights on online threats like sexting, sextortion, and how popular apps are being misused. Whether you're a parent, guardian, or educator, you’ll find practical advice and tools to help keep kids safe in today’s digital world.

Learn more or sign up for the registry at ProtectMIChild.com.

 Facebook: MichiganGCB
Twitter: @MichiganGCB
Instagram:  @michigangcb)
LinkedIn: michigangcb

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Uh hello? Where are you? The party started an hour ago. I got, um, you know, delayed. Wait, are you at the casino again? Casino? No, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

If gambling is getting in the way of your priorities, self-exclusion from the Detroit Casinos might be for you. Learn more at don'tregretthebet.org. A message from the Michigan Gaming Control Board. Have a gambling problem? Call the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800GAMBLER.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

On the Double Down Michigan podcast, we explore topics related to the gaming industry in Michigan. Host Henry Williams, Michigan Gaming Control Board Executive Director, discusses responsible gaming, gaming legislation in our state, current trends, and more. We feature special guests from the gaming industry so you can get the inside scoop. Be sure to subscribe to Double Down Michigan, a podcast by the Michigan Gaming Control Board to stay up to date on the latest in gaming. Thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

In this episode, Alicia Manille from the Michigan Children's Protection Registry joins us to discuss how to keep kids and teens safe from harmful online content. Welcome to the podcast, Alicia.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Thanks, Henry.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

We're thrilled to have you here to talk about an incredibly important topic, protecting kids and teens from harmful online content, including exposure to gambling and sports betting. With the rise of digital platforms, social media, and app-based advertising, is more crucial than ever for parents and guardians to understand how they can safeguard their children's online experiences. Let's start by learning more about your work. Can you share a bit about your role at the Michigan Children's Protection Registry?

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Sure. So I am the Director of Governmental Affairs and Outreach for the Michigan Child Protection Registry. My goal is to travel the state talking to as many parents as possible about the registry and getting them to sign them and their children up. The Michigan Child Protection Registry, how it works is you as a parent or guardian, you would go to www.protect my child and my is MI for Michigan, and you would sign up you and your kids' cell phone number, email address, and any of the app handles that they're using, apps from Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitch. And what will happen is within 30 days, these kids will stop receiving anything that they shouldn't be receiving in the first place. So anything that miners shouldn't be receiving in the first place. Any advertisements from pornography companies, alcohol, tobacco and vaping, online gambling, and then marijuana, since that is legal here in the state of Michigan.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Okay. That's pretty broad.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

It is pretty broad. Yep. It's pretty much anything that would be illegal for a minor to use or purchase.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Okay. Thank you. What inspired you to do work in the field of digital child protection?

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Well, years ago, right after college, I went to Michigan State University for political science.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

We won't hold that against you.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Go green.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

Go green.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

And I wanted to do something in policy, something political. And so I started working in Lansing in the legislature right after college. And all the legislators I worked for, I mainly handled women type policy issues. So health care when it comes to women and children, education reform. And then one of the best things I ever did is I worked on a domestic violence task force. And we passed 23 laws in regards to domestic violence. And I really got into domestic violence advocacy work, which then got me into human trafficking work. If you're not in those bubbles, they're a lot alike, the victims, the predators. It's a lot of the same cycle, a lot of the same backgrounds. And then because human trafficking really has moved to online, you know, where predators can sit on their couches now and groom 20 to 30 people at the same time, not like they used to, um, I decided to start getting into internet safety work. And this job a friend of mine called me on, and I've been doing this for 12 years now, I think.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Okay, great. And just before we move on, because I just want to ensure that citizens and our listeners aren't confusing the children's protective registry with the registry that the Michigan Department of Health Services has as relates to individuals on the like child abuse registry.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Correct, totally different. And I get calls and emails all the time. I know it's the worst name ever for this registry because parents automatically think child abuse, you know, um something negative that way in regards to child abuse, health and human services, and it's not. It is an online safety registry. Okay. It's kind of like actually the do not call list, but it works. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Thank you. Um, what does your day-to-day work look like in terms of helping families and addressing online safety concerns?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

So when I'm at home, I am contacting schools, I'm contacting churches, family type organizations to try and get them to take the information about the registry and put it out on their social media sites or in their e-newsletters. I have found that that is definitely the best way to get parents to sign up. They open up their email and all they have to do is click on it and sign up. Um, then I'm when I'm not at home contacting these organizations, I'm doing stuff like this. I'm doing podcasts, I'm doing a lot of trainings for parents. I found that the best way to get the information out about the registry was to talk about internet safety as a whole. So I started doing that like two years after I started this. So I train parents on how to keep their kids safe while they're at home under their roof. I talk about the apps kids are using because it's changing all the time. I talk about what predators are looking for in vulnerable kids and adults. And then I throw in the registry there as kind of, you know, an extra. And um that's gonna that's the best way for me to get the information out.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Okay, great. So let's talk a little about understanding online risk. Alicia, what are some of the biggest online threats children and teens face today?

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I think there's mainly two. The first one is definitely, you know, the internet is a world of its own. And it has things out there that five-year-olds shouldn't even be looking at, but they are. Everything illegal, there's anything out there in the world that your kids can look at, hear, and learn from, unfortunately. And one of the hardest things that has been for me is unfortunately a lot of things that are illegal to kids are being promoted to kids online. But it's I don't feel like it's the marketers' ex fault exactly, because marketing agencies, they get email addresses, cell phone numbers, um, app handles from all over the place. And they don't know if these people are eight or fifty. They just want to get their product out there. Well, unfortunately, a lot of these marketers that are um, you know, putting ads out on about online um gambling or pornography or Budweiser or even our wineries up north, they don't know who they're sending their ads to, so they're going to anybody. And a lot of most of these ads, all kids have to do is, you know, if they get a text message ad or an email ad, click on it, lie about their age, and they're in. So that concerns me. And then the second thing that um concerns me and is near and dear to my heart is the sexual exploitation that is happening online with kids and adults. Um, it's amazing. I travel the state and I can't tell you how many parents are going through something like this right now where kids are, you know, dying by suicide, um, not wanting to go to school because of cyberbullying, um the sex torsion issue of you know, young or older men pretending to be teen girls and trying to get money from young boys, predators out there trying to get naked pictures of kids. Um it's it's constant, and there really isn't any parents can do the best they can. They can have all the parental controls in the world, they can have all the con conversations with their kids in the world, but it is still happening, and these predators are still getting through to these kids.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Yes. You know, I was having a conversation with someone before if it relates to parents protecting their information. Like when I was growing up, we didn't have certain information of our parents. We didn't know they sold security number. We just didn't have certain information. We definitely weren't getting our hand on on one of their credit cards or any of those sort of things. So when you talk about children getting online and they're not telling the truth about their age or their birthday, um, what do you say to parents about safeguarding some of that information to keep it out of the hands of their children?

SPEAKER_01 9:22

I tell parents the younger the better. And some parents are like like 10, you mean 12? And I'm like, no, I'm like five, four. I really think that's when it starts because that's when kids are usually handed over that first iPad. So privacy first has to be talked about to these kids in their language. Um pornography needs to be talked about at that age in their language. I um, you know, you don't use those words. Um, the best book I tell parents about in regards to pornography is it's called Good Pictures, Bad Pictures. And it's a perfect way to start these conversations really about anything you put online because parents have got to let kids know no matter what you put on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, no matter what text you send to a friend, picture you send to a friend, once you release that message, it is no longer yours. You don't own it and it could go anywhere. You know, I tell parents, even colleges and universities now are looking at Facebook and Instagram. They're looking at some of these kids that want to get into their college and checking their social media. Nothing is erased, it is out there forever. And that is something that parents need to talk about first. But second, and most importantly, parents have to tell their kids. You know, we a lot of parents tell their kids, if you are out drinking, please call me. Do not get behind that wheel, do not get behind the wheel of a friend. Call me, you can count on me, you will not get in trouble. I am here for you. And you got you have to do the same thing with this stuff. If you see something on, because it's not if they're gonna see something, it is when. And when they do see something, or when that predator does try to contact them, or they do get maybe into an online gambling situation where they um, you know, have spent all of their money, they need to be able to feel comfortable telling their parents that they have done this. So it really comes down to communication.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Absolutely. Um, what sign should parents look for to know if their children is engaging with harmful or age inappropriate content, especially content related to gambling or sports betting?

SPEAKER_01 11:34

So when I've talked to parents, um, a lot of the ways they've found out that their kids have started gambling online is because they sneak their credit card. And they really don't think they're gonna go down this rabbit hole of losing a ton of money. Um, you know, because there's influencers out there that make it look so easy. Um and so, you know, if if you're you you have a credit card missing, if you have charges that you, you know are coming from online gambling sites, if your kid is asking to borrow money from family and friends, that's kind of the tippy top of the iceberg. But then there's also the emotional part that you need to look for. And this is with kids finding themselves down any bad road online. They become very self-aware of just of themselves. They stop wanting to go to school, they don't want to hang out with friends, their anxiety, you know, is through the roof. There, you can just tell that they are that there is something wrong. They're depressed, and that's when you you know that there's something not right. When your kid is acting different and only wants to be on their phone or is hiding what hiding their phone, and or when you walk in the room, they're putting their phone down constantly. You know, you really have to be aware of that.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Yes. Um, let's speak a little more about the protect my child initiative. Um, can you explain? Um, you explained a little already. Can you explain how the Protect My Child Initiative works and specifically how it shields children from exposure to adult themed ads and content?

SPEAKER_01 13:01

So, yeah, so by law, all of these um advertising or all these marketers in the state of Michigan, whether you're Budweiser, like I said, the wineries up north, um, now that we have online gambling, those marketers, um, alcohol, vaping, if you advertise in the state of Michigan at all, you have to scrub your list with ours every 30 days. And if you don't, there's there's fees, there's jail time. We've never had to go that far. We really have hadn't, we have not had any problem asking any of these marketers to scrub their list. Um, and so once you sign your family up within 30 days, you should stop receiving these ads. Now, there are times where um some of these markers haven't taken us seriously, maybe, or haven't gotten the memo on this. And usually we just have to give them a warning and then they start scrubbing their list.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Okay. And how accessible is this too for families? What steps do parents or guardians need to take to enroll and start protecting their children?

SPEAKER_01 14:01

So it's free, it's super easy. It is this registry is through our Secretary of State's office, so they just have to go to www.protectmychild.com and it's my M I for Michigan. And they will just follow the prompts and you know put in their email address, put in their child's date of birth, put in their cell phone number, their date of birth, and they'll go through all the questions that are asked. It does not take long, and then within 30 days your kids should stop, and you if you want to be if you want to be on the registry as well, will stop receiving these ads.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

Okay. All right, listen, if remember that this is through the Secretary of State's office and not through the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services. Correct. Okay. Um are there limitations families should be aware of? For instance, does this tube work across all devices or platforms?

SPEAKER_01 14:52

So this only works with if you have an email address, a cell phone number because of text messages, and for any DMs. So DMs in your Instagram, um, your Snapchat, that kind of thing. So it doesn't, if you have pop-up ads like on, I hear that a lot of people see um ads like when they're watching, you know, like Netflix or um other streaming programs, it's not on that. It is definitely through direct message. So email, text, and DMs.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Okay, thank you. And how can adults set healthy boundaries and maintain digital safety without being overly restrictive?

SPEAKER_01 15:30

That is really hard because um, you know, first, like I've said, communication. But second, what a lot of parents don't realize, and one of the things I um talk about the most when I do my trainings, is there are so many free parental controls out there. There are free parental controls on your internet most of the time. There are free parental controls on every device. There are even free parental controls pretty much on every app now. Even Pinterest, because they were having such a pornography problem, has parental controls. Um, so if before you hand over whether it's an Xbox or a cell phone, just Google, you know, iPad parental controls, Kindle parental controls. Um if you have Xfinity, the internet service, they have so many great parental controls right on their internet. So if you have Xfinity at home, you can block all of these websites if you wanted. Um, there's all kinds of stuff that you can do. But then if you want to be even more, maybe a more of a helicopter parent, I guess I would say, there are tools that you can buy that have like monthly subscriptions, like the Bark app. The Bark app is fantastic, Life360 is fantastic, and that's just another layer of parental controls parents can have. You know, there's so many levels, like you said, without being overbearing. Um, it's scary, but you also, you know, the internet is out there, it's not going anywhere. You know, you need to teach them about stranger danger, but also teach them, you know, what it looks like and that they can come to you. And then if you want to be really um oversensitive, I have a lot of parents that tell their kids, listen, that device is mine. It is not yours. You are borrowing it. So if you don't treat it well, and if you're doing things that are against, you know, our rules at home, that is coming back to me. There's all kinds of levels of parent participation, I think, when it comes to this. Yes. It's a lot of work.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Absolutely. And Alicia, you spoke earlier about parents having open communication with their children as it relates to these digital platforms. What does that look like for parents? What do that conversation look like for them to allow their child to have that open communication?

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Well, first and foremost, what I'm gonna tell you a lot of parents don't like to hear. First, you have to know what you're talking about. So if you're gonna be talking to your kids about Snapchat or Instagram or um these online ads that pop up, they have to have been on Snapchat themselves. You have to know how Snapchat works as a parent. You should be on Instagram if your kid is on Instagram. And a lot of parents look at me and go, I don't want to be on these apps. And I'm like, well, unfortunately, if you're not, then you don't know what you're talking about, and your kids will know you don't know what you're talking about when you sit down with them. So unfortunately, in order to have that good communication and relationship in regards to social media, you really need to be on the apps your kids are on as well. And that will make the conversation go a lot easier.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

Yes, great advice. Um, Alicia, how can families work with schools or community groups to raise awareness and protect children from these increasingly aggressive forms of digital advertising?

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Well, first and foremost, contact me to do a training at your school. I'm free. I will go anywhere around Michigan. I do um 45-minute to an hour trainings virtually or in person on the registry and on all this internet safety stuff. But also, you know, it's hard because when I talk to schools all the time and they do not have time to talk about a lot of this stuff. You know, the the state and the federal government, we're all telling schools that you need to teach our kids a million things, and they're all going, when do we have time to do all this? Um, so my advice to a lot of schools is I am on the sex ed advisory board for um the public school that my kids attend. So sometimes I try and get schools to push this stuff through that because most schools have some kind of sex ed in elementary, and then again, I believe in fifth or sixth, and then again in seventh or eighth, and then I think again in high school. And some of this stuff you could easily put into that curriculum. So I highly recommend that also through um the media office, your libraries. You know, that would be a good thing for your librarians to do, especially as sad as it's as it is. Our libraries and our schools are getting smaller and smaller. So this could be something that your media specialist could take on.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Okay, good idea. Okay, and looking towards the future, Alicia, what trusted resources can parents turn to for up-to-date information on online safety?

SPEAKER_01 20:05

So um I have a Facebook page called Protect My Child, and I post something at least every day about what new parental controls are out, um, what new apps kids are using and how they're using them, local stories that are happening in Michigan. Um, so I highly recommend following me on Facebook at Protect My Child. But then I also highly recommend parents follow um Protect Young Eyes. That is also based here in the state of Michigan. You can follow them on Facebook and Instagram. And um they have a wonderful monthly newsletter of everything that's going on nationally and new parental controls and apps, and it's fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Okay, thank you. And how can the Michigan Game and Control Board support initiatives like Protect My Child in helping parents shield children from inappropriate content?

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Well, it would be great if you could get um information about the registry out on your social media sites. That would be fantastic. And then also I don't know if you guys have some kind of an e-newsletter or if you could even talk to, you know, your members to that have an e-newsletter to put this out in that to their employees, to their customers. You know, any any way we could get this to them online is so much easier than me handing them a brochure. And I have brochures, I have free brochures that I can send to whoever. I do that at a lot of schools, send them home in Friday folders. But I've definitely found if marketers or you know, your office could definitely put this on social media and in any kind of e-newsletter, e you know, email, that would be fantastic. It's the best way to get to parents.

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Okay, great. And um, we have a team that goes out, don't regret the bet, to try to get the message out as it relates to the safeguards and gambling and different things. So some of your brochures, when we're out in the community that we can set out and help pass out, we'll be more than happy to do that as well.

SPEAKER_01 21:59

I will send. You some. That's a great idea.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

So I just really want to thank you, Alicia, for joining us today and sharing your insights on how families can better protect their children in today's digital world. It's clear that awareness and proactive tools like Protect My Child initiatives are important more than ever today. So I just want to thank you for being here today. And if there's anything else you want to leave with our listeners as we prepare to close.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Just that, you know, please just be aware of what your kids are doing online. Do the best you can. You can have, again, like I said, you can have all the parental controls in the world. You can have all the conversations. And it's not going to be if something happens with your kids online or if they're going to see something. It is definitely going to be when. So just be prepared for that. And I really appreciate you guys having me. This is a different audience that I, you know, have talked I haven't talked to yet. So I really appreciate you having me on today.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

Oh, you're so welcome. And to all the parents, guardians, and educators listening, remember online safety starts with open conversations and the right resources. For more information or to sign up for the Michigan Children's Protective Registry, visit ProtectMychild.com and that's M I ProtectMyChild.com. Thanks again, Alicia, for joining us today.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Thank you.