S3E7 Borrow My Hope: A Message for When the World Feels Heavy

In this conversation, Sophia Hyde reflects on the current state of despair many feel due to societal issues, sharing her personal journey from spiraling into negativity to finding hope and purpose. She emphasizes the importance of perspective, drawing on historical lessons to illustrate that progress is inevitable. Sophia encourages listeners to manage their information sources, take on active roles in their communities, and raise the next generation with compassion and healing in mind. Ultimately, she inspires individuals to focus on love and peace, highlighting that small actions can lead to significant change.

Purchase your copy of Unleash Your Favorite Self book and the corresponding journal.

Interested in one-on-one coaching? Click here to schedule a Roadmap session with Sophia.

Download the Favorite Self app in the Apple Store or Google Play.

Connect with Sophia on Facebook, Instagram or YouTube

Have a topic you would love to hear Sophia address on the podcast? Send your ideas to hello@sophiahyde.com

Transcript

Sophia Hyde (00:01.006)
Hi, good morning. You're probably listening to this at any time of day, but it feels like a good morning to me because I'm recording this at 630 a.m. on July 3rd. And I had no intentions of recording an episode this week as I took the week off to spend with my family. And. But I need to. So if you're watching the video version of this, I'm coming to you from my husband's gaming room.

like where he plays his video games because my office is not at home anymore. But this message is really important because yesterday I got a text message from a client whose mind was spiraling based on what's going on in the news. And as I scrolled through my Instagram stories, I noticed that several friends and people that I follow

were resharing content and making commentary themselves that showed a lot of despair for where America is right now. And I'm not gonna tell you that there aren't things that are worthy of feeling despair, okay? I'm not gonna invalidate any of your experiences. But I wanted to record this episode.

because a few years ago, I was somebody who could spiral based on what was going on in the news. A school shooting could take me out for three days. And what I mean by that is, when I say take me out, when my mind would spiral, I had trouble focusing or being creative. I had trouble having the bandwidth to parent in the way that I need, that my kids need me to show up for them.

My husband would have to carry a lot of the weight of the household. I could show up for my coaching calls. I could do work. I could like turn it off. And you know, like Taylor Swift, I could do it with a broken heart. Like I could put on the face. And it wasn't even a face because it wasn't even fake. It was like I just disassociated, right? So when it was time to do a coaching call, I just compartmentalized, put all that stuff to the side, showed up.

Sophia Hyde (02:21.006)
All my energy went into my clients and then that Zoom call would end and my energy would go whoosh, like just melt away. And then I couldn't like focus. I would try to like write content or an email or whatever kind of content I was trying to create, whatever marketing materials I needed to create. And my brain just couldn't compute. There was nothing to work with there.

And I think a lot of people are there right now. And I'm not at all. I'm not there at all. I am. I am doing well. And a lot of that is not because I think what's happening in the country is great. It's not because I'm super excited and pumped about what I see around me. But it is because.

I have learned how to manage my mind, how to manage my life, how to manage my thoughts, where to put my focus, where to put my energy, and who I allow to speak into my life, who I'm willing to listen to. And so I wanna share with you guys some hope.

because I genuinely from the depths of my soul believe we're gonna be okay. And I wanna tell you why I genuinely believe that. And I want to spread a little bit of this hope and this mindset that I have so that if you are in the camp of mentally not doing well right now,

Hopefully maybe after you listen to this some of that might ease a little bit and you maybe you can take some deeper breaths Maybe you can sleep with a little more ease That's my hope. Okay, so I made my cup of coffee. I'm gonna take a few sips

Sophia Hyde (04:29.548)
And we're going to have a conversation that I hope will leave you better than I found you.

So let me lead with what I think is the most impactful, which is in my mind, what I see is a movie. I see a movie and I already know the ending.

And this movie is, you know, one of those movies, whether it's like the Avengers or a war movie, it's one with like a lot of battling. There's a lot at stake. One of those like, it could even be, let's throw back to the 90s, it could even be, you know, Independence Day, right? It's like end of like things are.

There are a lot, there's a lot on the line.

But... the ending of the movie...

Sophia Hyde (05:33.004)
is that it all works out and it's all gonna be okay. And if you are having trouble believing that, I wanna tell you why I believe it's all gonna be okay. And...

And I'm going to tell you where I think we're at in the story arc right now. Now, why do I know it's all going to be OK? Because of history. Because there is no... all of the storylines in history show us that progress is inevitable.

And love really does win. I genuinely believe that in the end love wins.

There's a great, you know, you've probably heard it before, but this is a great time to remember the famous quote by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., which says, arc of the moral universe is long when it bends towards justice. And if we look at history, what we've also seen is that things move in a pendulum swing. History is not straight up and to the right. History is not a staircase constantly climbing.

It's messy and it is brutal and it swings to one side. It swings towards moving us backwards. And then the next time that it swings to the left and swings to progress, the progress goes just a little bit further. And then that pendulum comes back and some somebody in power is trying to move some things backwards. And then that pendulum moves the progress a little bit further again. It's two steps forward, one step back.

Sophia Hyde (07:19.278)
That is how history has always worked. There's an episode I recorded last year, I think it was last year, kind of all runs together in my brain if I don't pull it up in advance. But it was something about the word squid, politics and squid, or something like that if you scroll through my former episodes. But I talk about how the way humanity and progress works is that it swims like a squid. they move forward, but

but then their little tentacles or whatever, they come backwards to gain momentum and then whoosh, okay? And where we're at right now, one day when history movies, one day when this moment is in the past and people are making movies about it, they will be making movies about how it all ended up okay. It will have a happy ending. But the point we're at right now is where things went backwards.

where that squid had to gain a little bit of momentum and its tentacles pulled backwards, but it will launch us into the progress that we are ready for. Now, because I genuinely believe that, when I look at things that are happening right now, and I don't need to go into them, like go read the news, I will tell you where am I getting my sources, I have unfollowed a million,

social media accounts. I'm not allowing my brain to be inundated with it. So if there are accounts constantly talking about what's happening in the world, unfollow, unfollow, unfollow, or mute, mute, mute, mute, the exception of Sharon McMahon, which I've talked about before. But I also, she's launched a sub stack and I'm subscribed to that. I think she does four, four writings a week and three are free and one is paid.

but I support her substack. then Heather Cox Richardson is in a historian who's documenting everything that's happening right now. But she brings it to the lens of history. Both of these women are, Sharon was a government teacher, but she's like, she is a historian in her own, I mean, she just wrote a history book that's like topping history charts. So yes, we're going to call her a historian, even though I don't know that she uses that term for herself. But these are both history experts.

Sophia Hyde (09:38.632)
And they look at everything that's happening to us right now through the lens of history. so, Heather Cox-Wilderton is also on Substack. And so you can follow them there. And then my news sources tend to be Reuters, AP and BBC, which when you look at the facts of like, you know, media bias, they're usually pretty centered. And so I work really hard to make sure that I'm not.

going down the rabbit hole of, you know, bias media. real quick, on that note, I have seen people stressing and panicking over content that's not real or fact checked. So for example, the client yesterday that reached out was, you know, having her spy one moment, which I've been there, over the fact that...

you know, the big beautiful bill moved through the Senate and by the time somebody listens to this and you know, we'll see what I'm sure it's going to pass the House at this point. you know, whatever. don't know the facts yet because I'm recording this in the morning. the. There are people sharing information about things that are either not in there or have already been removed by the parliamentarian or some process along the way.

And then I've also seen people sharing things that are AI generated that are causing them to feel afraid. And I'm like, that's not even real. It didn't happen. And I saw people, there was clips going around with people on the No Kings Day about the protests in LA or protests here about just how violent it was and all these crazy people and what they're doing. they were, dude, they were clips from the 2020 riots.

They weren't even accurate. That's what didn't happen on June 14th. Some of the videos that I saw shared. just, you know, be careful of what you're listening to and who has the ability to speak into you and that it's actually fact based and you're getting, you know, the latest and most accurate information because that will just make it worse. OK, so history has shown us that progress is inevitable. And hey, another fun fact, you know, one of the most progressive books is.

Sophia Hyde (12:00.396)
Some of you, you're gonna be like, no, WaySophie, I can't believe you're saying this. No, no, no, one of the most progressive books is actually the Bible. And not because it's progressive through the lens of our, you know, 2025 lens, but because it's actually a compilation of stories of how humanity was tackling the paradigm shifts of their time at that time.

What was happening was revolutionary. What was happening was mind blowing. It was pushing the boundaries of their day. And it's story after story after story of humanity progressing from the times that it was in to where it's ready for next. And so our generation is the people who are on this planet right now, we have our own work to do and we have the things that are being asked of us to keep humanity progressing.

If there is any story in your mind that is doom and gloom related, let me remind you that you would not be on this planet if you did not come from the survivors of our ancestors. All of us did. All of us did. Right? Humanity has survived plagues. We have survived.

Horrible wars?

I am not a descendant from slavery, but we have millions of people in our country whose ancestors endured very dark times. And we have to acknowledge that we come from really good genes, right? And what did they pass down to us? And what are we gonna do with that? Okay? So then,

Sophia Hyde (13:54.326)
Let's say we're in a movie and I already know that the ending is going to be good because that's what history has shown us. Then what role do you want to play?

Which character are you going to be? Now, I know in the season of life that I am in, I'm not Captain America. I am not a frontline character. The New York Times will not be quoting me. But I understand that the roles that I do have matter.

Which kind of person do you want to be? Think of, in these movies, there are characters who, when the end is coming, or the bad guys are here, or whatever's going on, they start panicking. They're spiraling, they're panicking, they're running in circles. And then what ends up happening? Some heroic person, or brave individual, or somebody with courage.

They step in and they start doing something, right? They command the room, they get people to safety, they fight the bad guys, right? They stand up for what's right, they do something. They do something, but the people who are running around screaming aren't helping anything. And so if all you're doing right now is screaming into your pillow or venting to your partner that you live with or friend or...

or take it to social media. If you're just a person running around screaming in this movie, in this plot, in this storyline, you're not helping us. OK, so what what is helpful is to figure out what weapon can you pick up? Right. So in the movie, some people have different resources available to them. Right. And so what role are you going to take on?

Sophia Hyde (16:08.142)
There's the client yesterday that had reached out to me is a woman who owns a business and has a handful of employees. And I told her that I can't pick your role for you, but I see two great roles you're already playing. And there might be other ways you're contributing to that I want you to just think about and consider or decide for yourself.

And one of her roles is she is a mother of two children. That is not a light role to play. But because I am looking at this through a lens of history, through humanity's journey and not just my own individual life, then I understand that part of what will happen here is that the children that we are raising right now will be the leaders one day. And I have a story in my head.

that I believe that the next generation, something different is asked of each generation. And I genuinely believe that we are raising healers right now. And why do I believe that we're raising healers? I think the next generation, they're gonna be asked to heal the planet. They're gonna be asked to help people heal from harmful things that are happening in the world right now. And I genuinely believe we are raising a generation of healers.

because one of the things as a millennial, one of the things we've been tasked with is healing as a whole, again, this is not, it doesn't apply to every single person, but as a whole, millennials.

are cleaning up our shit. Healing, generational trauma, understanding how emotions work, having space to feel feelings, going to therapy. Millennials have probably had more therapy than, I mean, I don't know, Gen Z loves their therapy too. Than probably any other generation.

Sophia Hyde (18:20.206)
But what this is doing is because we're healing our own stuff, we're not passing it down. And so the children that are being raised, and again, some people are not doing the work. And so they are perpetuating old cycles. But as a whole, as a stereotype at large, they're not passing things down to the kids, the kids that are being raised right now.

have the ability to feel their feelings more than anybody ever has in the history of humanity. When you're in survival mode, like most of our ancestors have been for a long time, there ain't no time to feel your feelings, okay? And so these children are being raised allowed to fully be themselves. They have incredible compassion. They're really kind. And I believe that we are raising children who will

be able to have a childhood that no generation in humanity has ever had the privilege of experiencing because of being in so many states of survival.

And what will they be able to do with that? That's going to be really powerful. And so I said to her, one of the roles you're already playing is you're raising some of the healers that we're going to need. And the second role you're playing is you are a woman who owns a business. That enough is going against the, you know, one of the things that's dying right now. I need to talk about the death cycle.

So one of the things that's dying right now is the hold and the grip that patriarchy has on society. know, it's a lot of things have taken it down for a long time, not just, you know, the movement in the 70s that gave women so many rights and then women entering the workforce and women having more freedom and more autonomy. But women are continuing to gain more and more influence and power and balance the scales. And as those scales are balancing,

Sophia Hyde (20:21.762)
The patriarchy is fighting and gripping and trying to hold on to what control it can. And so as a female business owner, just existing, you're a woman in leadership. That's a battle in and of itself. But second, this particular woman has a team of a handful of employees who work remotely and are able to set their own hours around their family's needs. And that's feminine leadership. That is.

the new way we're moving through the world, not this old like work comes first and the family suffers for it and you have to fit into this box. Like the new way we're doing life is has more of that freedom, gives people individual autonomy. And if all she does is raise her kids and grow this business that does things a different way, that is enough. That is enough. If that...

That is enough of a lift. And so think about your life. What lifts are you carrying? And then ask yourself, like, is there another, if that doesn't feel complete or enough to you, then you have to decide, you know, what is one thing that you can do? There's a great book I want to recommend to you guys. I already mentioned Sharon McMahon, but she wrote a book called The Small and the Mighty.

The subhead is 12 unsung Americans who changed the course of history from the founding to the civil rights movement. And it's 12 stories. It's a compilation of 12 stories of names of people that you don't know who, if they had not existed, we would not have the America we have today. They shaped this country. But they're not famous. And what they did was just one right thing at a time in small communities. And some of the people, some of the

Dominoes that they laid led to, you know, famous people who did incredible work and got lots of credit for the changes that were made. But they laid the groundwork. They opened the doors. They did things behind the scenes. And none of them did anything extraordinary. They just did something small in their community with the time, energy, and resources that they had.

Sophia Hyde (22:38.336)
And so if you want to use them as inspiration, mean, guys, whatever's going on in the news or in the world today, this is a country that abolished slavery, took a long time, but it happened. So you can't say that like all things are the worst they've ever been. Come on, guys. Like this used to be a country that enslaved millions of people. This used to be a country that had segregation and Jim Crow laws like

We had a civil war where Americans were killing Americans. I think it's a stretch to say this is the worst it's ever been. But we can look at those things that we've been through in the past and ask, like, how did we endure? How did we survive? And we can find hope there. And the way that all of those things had a happy ending is that everyday average Americans

did their part, their small part.

You can't solve all of the problems, but you can decide where you want to give your energy. Like the one puzzle piece. You can't save the whales and the environment and, you know, gun control and ending school shootings and advocate for X, Y, and Z on and on and on and on on, right? Like all of the things. You can't solve all the problems.

But you can decide what's the one thing you can handle.

Sophia Hyde (24:18.434)
And you can just do your part, whether that is making some phone calls or showing up to volunteer or helping your neighbor. Those little things matter. The last thing I want to share with you guys to give you some, little bit of, I don't want to say homework, but just like help you have an idea of where to put your energy.

If you're not familiar with the emotional vibration chart, just Google it. Look at the pictures. This is they've measured, you know, there's like waves in the air that that you pick up on signal for radio. So you listen or the TV visually like the antennas can pick up images and then you see something on a screen. OK, these are.

You know, these are like waves in the air that we can't see. It's really mind blowing, isn't it? But one of the things that they have done is we also put out our own energy when we sleep, when we eat, we do things that give us energy. And then when that energy leaves our body, it leaves at a certain vibration and they have measured based on how you're feeling, your emotions.

when they exit your body, they have a measurable vibration level. And you can tell when you're in somebody's presence, you can kind of literally say, they've got good vibes or they've got bad vibes. You can literally feel the vibrations of their body. It's not just a saying, it's like legit. We can pick up on each other's vibes. Okay. But these vibes, other people feel them. They have an impact, they matter. And one thing that's really important to know,

is towards the bottom of the emotional vibration chart. It has a score of 100, I believe. I'm gonna type this up really quick. Is fear. Fear is towards the bottom. It puts out an emotional vibration level of 100. And...

Sophia Hyde (26:29.23)
The lowest is shame at 20 and guilt at 30. Apathy, which is just not caring, checking out 50. Grief, 75. There's a lot of people in grief right now. They're grieving things that have been lost or the way they wish the world was. So guilt, shame, apathy, grief, and fear, these are the lowest vibrations. And it's important to understand that currently in America, our president is somebody who likes to go on social media.

pretty much every day and provoke fear, spread fear, tell you who to be afraid of and what to be afraid of. And then the way people respond to that, whether it's media or commentators or your friends and family, they respond to that with telling you what else to be afraid of. Be afraid of him, be afraid of his policies, be afraid of his party. Fear, fear, fear and more fear.

And all that fear that is spreading, it's bringing down the entire society. Now, what's at the top of the emotional vibration chart? At a score of 700 is enlightenment, 600 is peace, 540 is joy, 500 is love. Love is at 500.

Sophia Hyde (27:51.552)
It is so much more powerful than fear. And so when you find yourself in fear, ask yourself how you can transmute that into love, into joy, into peace. So if you do nothing else, when asked like what puzzle piece you can pick up, what your work in the world can be right now, you will literally help this planet and help all of us by raising your consciousness. Create joy.

spread love, like one of the best things that I did when I, this is in my book, in the contribution chapter, when I was feeling really hopeless about where the world was at, I ended up finding a nonprofit to give my time to for a cause that really mattered. was a literacy nonprofit that helped people who don't speak English to learn English and be able to get their GED and be able to have employment and work. I mean, giving some...

Literacy can change not just somebody's life and not even just the family, but literally generations. I mean, it can just change the course of an entire family's legacy. Somebody can become illiterate. And so I started, instead of focusing on what was happening in the world, I started focusing on what was happening in that organization. And it was on the brink of shutting its doors. And so then I had somewhere else to put my energy that was focused on

saving this organization, turning it around, figuring out what it needed, helping to get its needs met. And I was too focused on loving these people and this woman, her name is Angelica, who's the executive director. And I was too busy trying to figure out how to love Angelica and help Angelica and contribute to be stuck in the fear of what was happening in the world.

And I'm not saying that you need to go rescue a nonprofit, but do you have a neighbor that needs some help? Do you have children or parents or siblings or cousins or friends who need someone to love on them right now? Because that's powerful. And peace is towards the top. It's 600. If all you do...

Sophia Hyde (30:16.886)
is figure out how to create peace in your body and peace in your home. That's also a contribution.

figuring out how to get away from the fear and raise the vibrations of your home and your life and your body to a place of peace. It's more powerful than the fear that so many are living in. And I'm not saying their fears are not unfounded. there are, I know people affected by like what's happening with ICE right now. I actually have a friend who's,

cousin, her husband was removed from the home from leaving work. And she's a stay at home mom with two kids. And he did not commit any crimes. He's a very good man, working on his working a job and working on getting his legal status in this country. And he was not given due process, wasn't able to appear in court. And he's gone.

He's not with his family right now. And I'm not gonna gaslight you and tell you you should be afraid, like that there's no role for fear, like, you're crazy for feeling fear. It's just, don't stay there. Yes, there's things happening.

But can you feel the fear? Like allow your body to feel it, process it, move it through your body, and then redirect it towards like, okay, well, what are you gonna do about it? How can these stories not be in vain? I told you I used to spiral for three days over a school shooting, but that doesn't help anybody. doesn't help my kids, doesn't help the community. Like nobody's better off because, you know, I was out of pocket.

Sophia Hyde (32:10.926)
And it's been a couple of years since that's happened, two, three years now.

And one of the reasons that that stuff doesn't take me down is I am way too busy creating joy in my life, bringing peace to my body and my family and figuring out what puzzle pieces are my responsibility. What are the things that I can do? Because the hope that I have is one like history has shown us that progress inevitably prevails, but also

I believe that there's hundreds of millions of people waking up and doing their best each day. And there's millions of people in America doing their little parts. And so when I look at the whole picture of each person playing their role, I have hope, not that I'm gonna be able to solve it, but that the little things that I'm doing and the little things you're doing and the little things that everybody else is doing are gonna lead towards making things better.

And the last thing I wanted to share with you guys is this concept of like what is dying right now. So I looked up the terms. I forgot to put it on my notes. OK. There's this concept of in the animal kingdom, there are some animals that when they're on the brink of death, they actually will fight harder. They call it like a last stand where at that towards.

the end of their life, they will fight harder than they have before or exhibit behaviors that don't even make sense. Almost like they've fully given up. So they're just like going after the beast or the animal that they could never even take down, knowing that they're going to die. But they're just like giving it their all because to hell with that, I'm going to die anyways. So they just go down. They're not going to go down without a fight. And so

Sophia Hyde (34:15.298)
This is like the last ditch effort to leave everything on the table in like in football terms, the Hail Mary. You're like, nothing else is gonna work anyway. Let me just throw this thing across the field and see if somebody catches it. It's like the last ditch effort. There are certain things, this is part of the death cycle, and there are certain things in our society that are ready to die. The grip and the hold that patriarchy, racism, and homophobia have over our society have, they are losing their power.

They're losing their grip, they're losing their control. And what we're also witnessing is this last ditch effort where they're throwing everything on the table, trying to like not go down without a fight. And I do believe they will lose. And that doesn't mean that it like disappears totally from society, but the grip and the control and the influence it has, it is dying. And so when I have the hope,

of knowing that these things will not endure. They're coming to the end of their life cycles. It's ugly to watch this, because this is...

It is really not pretty. But I also don't believe that they win. They are going to lose. Okay, so in closing, I hope you feel encouraged that it is all going to be okay. And this is the middle of the film, guys. I know when things are at their climax, I am that person who when watching a movie with my husband, I'm...

really annoying sometimes to watch with, because I'm like cringing and I'm like, my god, I wanna close my eyes and look at my fingers like when I'm cringing, like when things get bad, because you know in a movie.

Sophia Hyde (36:10.126)
It's not just up and to the right. There always is the moment where you think that they're going to lose, where you think that everything will have been in vain when they walk away. Maybe they actually do lose that battle.

and you feel so sad for them and defeated for them. But the movie's not over until they have overcome that and they have their comeback moment, right? And along the way, bad things do happen.

I think this is, you know, great to think of the Avengers. I'm not a comic book nerd, but my husband is and has been watching everything in the Avengers Infinity War. There's that moment where he says on the left, probably one of the best somatic scenes I've I can't think of anything better. And support comes in like you think Captain America is about to not.

make it like defeat is here, enemy is winning, Thanos is gonna have like his moment and then support and help comes in and it's just hundreds of people in that battlefield come like little everybody doing their little part and that's that's I think for some people we're at that scene before that moment's happened and we're just seeing Thor on the ground

knocked out. We're seeing Captain America losing and we don't know how it's going to get better.

Sophia Hyde (37:49.678)
And, but I believe that the support and the help is coming and is on its way.

And so it doesn't mean though that it won't be ugly. mean, let's stick with that movie. Spoiler alert, like Iron Man dies, right? Like that's, there are sacrifices that get made. I don't mean that lightly. I'm just saying like it is going to be ugly, but in the arc of humanity, we're going to be okay. Okay. Last thing I screen-shotted this quote because I thought that it was really good.

My husband's a Lord of the Rings fan. And so if you believe that right now we're all on this planet because we're meant to be, we're here for this moment, we didn't live in another timeline or another point in history or in the future because we are the people who need to be here right now for this moment and to meet this moment. This is a quote. And Frodo says,

I wish it need not have happened in my time. And Gandalf says, so do I. And so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. You are here, my friends. You are here for this moment, for this time to do the work that's being asked of us.

Sophia Hyde (39:27.564)
You are a character in this movie and my hope and prayer for each of you is that you will do the next right thing. That you will not be one of the people spinning and spiraling and running around in a state of panic, but you will be the person who rises up and either gathers people to safety, steps in, plays their role.

overcomes an obstacle, contributes in whatever way, shape or form that's being asked of you. I am sending you my love and I hope that you're able to borrow my hope if you don't have any for yourself. I love you guys so much. Bye bye.