Recognizing the Patterns You Keep Missing

Why do you keep encountering the same frustrating patterns in your life? That moment when you realize you're dealing with the same kind of difficult person or situation for the fifth time this year isn't bad luck—it's what I call "the algorithm of life" at work.

The universe keeps serving you the same lesson with increasing intensity until you finally pay attention. What's fascinating is that deep down, you already recognize these patterns. But we actively ignore these signals out of fear: fear of what changing might require, fear of confronting difficult truths, fear of stepping into unknown territory beyond our comfortable limitations.

An old Yiddish proverb reminds us that "a man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." Are you living with regret or learning from regret?

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to One Degree to Victory
• 0:21 The Algorithm of Life's Lessons
• 1:08 Breaking Free From Fear Patterns
• 2:33 Transforming Regrets Into Lessons
• 3:56 Moving Forward with Hope

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You're listening to One Degree to Victory, the space where stories, strategies and soul connect Together. We take one small step each week toward the life you know you're called to live. I'm your hostess, nalita Hollis, and today's story and conversation just might change your life. Ever notice how life keeps giving you the same lesson until you finally pay attention? That's the algorithm at work. It thinks you want more of what you keep engaging with. So the same kind of people, the same kind of problems, the same kind of frustrations show up again and again. The moment you recognize the pattern, you can finally break it. What you're aware of you can change. What you keep ignoring will keep circling back to you, often with increasing intensity, until the lesson is finally learned. This is the fundamental principle of personal growth Awareness always precedes transformation.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Now, surprising fact deep down, you already know what your patterns are attracting into your life. You recognize that familiar sting of self-disappointment when you fall into the same behavioral trap yet again. Not only are you aware of these patterns on some level, but you're actively ignoring them out of fear. Fear of what changing might require of you, fear of confronting difficult truths, fear of the unknown territory beyond your comfortable but limiting patterns. The only way to stop ignoring these patterns is to get over your deep-seated fear of confronting yourself honestly and thoroughly. You will need large doses of courage and equal measures of self-compassion. You are going to have to work through layers of shame and you're going to have to learn from, not live with, your regrets. It's okay to admit that you are not okay just the way you are. It's okay to admit that you recognize a higher way of being, doing and showing up in the world that you aspire to. And right now you are not okay with your present state of being. The goal is to not allow your current condition, the trauma and adversity, to keep you stuck. Don't become complacent or comfortable in a state of being that you do not aspire to, be comfortable in. Sister girl, there is nothing wrong with raising yourself and your family to a comfortable station in life, station in life. Determination to create better circumstances than those you inherited or created is, in fact, something to be proud of. So don't allow yourself to continue to be tethered to past mistakes and trauma.

Speaker 1: 2:56

Fear is the chain binding you to those experiences. They are heavy, cold links that weigh you down and limit your movement toward your dreams, afraid that your journey will be sabotaged by those who don't want to see you succeed. Afraid that you will have to journey alone through the darkness, without a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on. Afraid because you don't know the way forward and the map seems unclear and the destination is uncertain. Sister girl, let me tell you, no one ever knows the way completely. Even those who seem confident are making it up as they go. And if you don't start walking your path, you will never meet the ones, come on, who are meant to travel with you the soul connections waiting around corners you haven't turned yet. The mentors positioned strategically along your route. And the friends who will appear exactly when you need them most.

Speaker 1: 3:53

Research shows that giving language to shame and trauma reduces its grip, and it's true that weight dissolves under the light of your expression. When we name the darkness, our light grows. If you've listened before, you may have heard me describe my trauma experience as a journey through hell. That's my name for it, my shorthand for what once seemed to me an endless suffering. And while it is a story of struggle and suffering, it is also my survival story. It is my testimony. Come on, it is my creation story. If you will. Sister girl, when you give voice to your struggles, they transform from jagged weights into stepping stones. You lay the weight of the burdens down and with them you begin to build pathways, a strong foundation that elevate you to new heights of being doing, understanding and showing up with compassion, both for yourself and for others walking similar paths.

Speaker 1: 4:54

You know there's an old Yiddish proverb that says a man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Constant listener, when you lay your head down before sleep, is the last thing on your mind the opportunities you missed. Do you find yourself replaying the chances you didn't take, the words you held back, the steps you were too afraid to make? Beautiful soul, are you living with regret or are you learning from regret? Regret is a mirror. It shows us where we froze, where we feared, where we hesitated. But it doesn't have to be a life sentence. It can be a lesson plan. Living with regret robs you of your dreams. That script says woulda, coulda, shoulda. But learning from regret? That flips the script. That script says next time I will, next time I can, this time I must. You don't have to let regret be the last thing on your mind when you retire at night. Instead, let the lesson be the last thing, let the dream be the last thing and constant listener.

Speaker 1: 6:08

Beautiful soul, the fact that you are here means you've already survived. Listen to this 100% of your worst days. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but you do know that you survived 100% of your worst days because you are here right now. You've learned lessons you weren't aware you were being taught. That means your awareness is growing and, with it, your capacity for transformation. One degree to victory is about progression, not perfection, and that involves choosing a life that works for you now, in this season, and building from there. And, sister girl, it's going to take more than loving yourself. It's going to take vision for where you're going, hope to believe it's possible, action to make it real and love for your family to fuel every step. Take one degree forward this week and I'll see you in the next episode.