Hero or Dick - S3., Ep. 2 - The Complex World of Cows and Cheese Showdown

Welcome to another episode of Hero or Dick!

This time around, we explore the world of bovines! And...Cheese lovers, brace yourselves.  In honor of our milk-producing friends, we pit two cans of spray cheese against each other in a blind taste test. But it’s not all fun and games.  We tackle the ethics of cow consumption, the $66 billion beef industry, and the rise of plant-based alternatives. It’s a fast-paced mix of humor, reflection, and surprising facts about cows and our connection to them.

Thanks for listening!

~ Kate & KJ

Transcript

Cows

Speaker 1 0:00

Yeah , welcome to season two . Or season three Of what Episode two ?

Speaker 2 0:09

Hero or Dick ? Yeah , that's it . Yeah , Hero or Dick , it's yeah that's what it is .

Speaker 1 0:14

We're just shooting the bull here .

Speaker 2 0:16

Ha , ha , oh , because our topic today is cows , cows . Which have many names .

Speaker 1 0:25

They do they do ? Oh , have many names . They do they do . Oh , you mean types of cows .

Speaker 2 0:27

Well , no , just cows . So there's cows which are really mature female cattle that have given birth once .

Speaker 1 0:35

Those are cows . What are the ones that haven't given birth ?

Speaker 2 0:37

They are . There's something Heifer , heifer , sorry , yeah .

Speaker 1 0:43

What are the dudes ?

Speaker 2 0:45

Bulls . They are mature males used for breeding .

Speaker 1 0:49

Hey , speaking of breeding and back to the whole , once they have a calf thing they're called what now Cows after they ?

Speaker 2 0:56

have Cows after they have .

Speaker 1 0:58

What's the gestation period for one of those low bastards ?

Speaker 2 1:00

It's a long time , 297 days . Wow , somewhere , or one of those low bastards . That's a long time , 297 days .

Speaker 1 1:06

Wow , that's a long time Nine months and ten days oh .

Speaker 2 1:11

I guess humans are nine months . Humans .

Speaker 1 1:17

Those bastards . I hate them . Humans love to eat those cows , they do , and drink the milk , yeah , and make things out of them .

Speaker 2 1:25

Are you a milk drinker ? I like milk . I love that people up north here say milk , milk , yeah , like it's a E . No , it's milk .

Speaker 1 1:34

Milk Kittle Instead of kettle Kittle , kittle , bat trees , bat trees , chimley , chimley . What the hell is that ?

Speaker 2 1:44

A chimney oh .

Speaker 1 1:47

Chimley . All right , Thanks everyone .

Speaker 2 1:49

And we'll get hate mail .

Speaker 1 1:55

No , we won't .

Speaker 2 1:55

Because I don't know how to email . Yeah , but also one more is instead of a pillow , it's a pallo .

Speaker 1 2:02

But we could do a whole episode on that .

Speaker 2 2:04

We really could , why don't we ? We will , let's switch ?

Speaker 1 2:06

We will , no , not right now . They domesticated these things like 10,000 years ago in the Fertile Crescent .

Speaker 2 2:12

They're very docile , so I imagine they didn't give up much of the fight . No , they brought them over .

Speaker 1 2:17

Oh yeah , alright , who were those people that came over Jamestown ? Pilgrims ? The Pilgrims Is that what they would call them . I don't know what are we calling them .

Speaker 2 2:28

Everybody has a new name , so I'm not keeping up with all of them .

Speaker 1 2:28

Can you even say Pilgrim anymore ? I ? Don't know Anyway that's where the first one apparently came . 1614? . Did it come over on a boat ? It must have . Don't try to swim , I'm sorry . I . I'm sorry .

Speaker 2 2:46

I'm salty today , kate , I'm going to bring it up here .

Speaker 1 2:49

It's a long-ass swim . So yeah , so cows , heifers bulls and a steer is a male that's castrated and unable to reproduce Castrated , right there .

Speaker 2 3:03

Yeah , it's painful to say . It must be even worse to happen .

Speaker 1 3:08

What do you mean , castorate ? Get it done . I had that done . You got castorated Instead of a vasectomy . She's just like take it all off .

Speaker 2 3:15

Castorate him . You were unable to reproduce .

Speaker 1 3:18

Did it .

Speaker 2 3:26

Behind Walmart a guy does it Saturday evenings .

Speaker 1 3:26

The castrating yeah , it's a van , white van . It's like an ice cream truck during the day , but then he does castrations . It's cheap . You leave with a tube of Neosporin and you're good to go . One billion cows in this world .

Speaker 2 3:37

Wow , that's a lot of cows .

Speaker 1 3:39

Yeah , 93 million in the United States . However , it's the lowest it's ever been since 1952 .

Speaker 2 3:44

Because more people are vegetarians .

Speaker 1 3:46

Maybe , or the UFOs . Are taking the cows , I'm just saying .

Speaker 2 3:52

They do like to beam up the cows they what them ?

Speaker 1 3:54

Beam them up , they beam them up they also . They're heavy , though they do stuff on them . We talked about that before , I believe that it's alarming . Well , it's a phenomenon all over the world .

Speaker 2 4:03

I don't know what it is Do they beam them back down ?

Speaker 1 4:06

I don't know if they beam anything . I think they keep them .

Speaker 2 4:08

Do they keep them ? I don't know , the humans who claim to be beamed up came back down because it's so weird about it , or did they ?

Speaker 1 4:17

Oh , Maybe that's not them . Oh my gosh .

Speaker 2 4:20

Anyway , that's a whole other subject . What did ?

Speaker 1 4:22

they say oh , Michigan has 1.2 million cows . That's where we live in Michigan , by the way , folks .

Speaker 2 4:27

That's a lot of cows .

Speaker 1 4:28

Yeah , and so how ?

Speaker 2 4:31

many do you think ? I think in Michigan there's a lot of dairy cows . I'm just guessing .

Speaker 1 4:36

You're damn right . That's what's here . Dairy Texas 13 million cows .

Speaker 2 4:42

Oh Well , they have more room , they have a lot of room .

Speaker 1 4:45

Your favorite state , Nebraska .

Speaker 2 4:48

And then Kansas .

Speaker 1 4:48

Nothing against Nebraska and Oklahoma . They're huge for beef production .

Speaker 2 4:53

A lot of grasslands , yeah , so that's all I have . That's it Boom . How many stomachs do they have ? Four , good .

Speaker 1 5:02

What do they do with the second one ? The reticulum have four . Good , what do ? They do with the second one , uh , the reticulum . First it goes into the ruminator or ruminant stomach and uh , then you know , it does a little digestion , then it goes into stomach number two and then it gets mixed with saliva and comes back up and that's why they chew cud oh , so then they vomit it up and chew it up and it goes back down .

Speaker 2 5:24

So why wouldn't they continually do that ? Go to one go to two back up Special , but at some point it must go to stomach . Three , Three Digest some more .

Speaker 1 5:34

Yep .

Speaker 2 5:34

And then four , and then come out as cow patties . Mm-hmm , which kept pioneers ? If we can say that kept them alive , I think that's you can't say pioneers anymore . What Cow patties kept them alive ? Well , yeah , because they would gather the cow patties and burn them , dry them out and burn them .

Speaker 1 5:53

No kidding .

Speaker 2 5:56

I didn't even Google that fact and I didn't make it up either .

Speaker 1 6:00

Wait a second Before we get too far , should we do our first hit ?

Speaker 2 6:04

Well , we're speaking of dairy . Wait a second . Before we get too far , should we do our first hit ? Well , we're speaking of dairy . We have today two Easy Cheeses that we've spoke of before , and first I'm looking at the label of them . It's totally sketchy . And who thought of Easy Cheese ? I mean Some fucking genius ? Well , yeah , but it does say no need to refrigerate , which always makes me a little nervous . It's a dairy product this one is made with . It also says it's an excellent source

Comparing Cheese Snack Nutrition and Flavor

Speaker 2 6:35

of calcium .

Speaker 1 6:35

Let's compare some stuff . Alright , okay , yours is what the Nabisco .

Speaker 2 6:40

Mine is the Nabisco Easy .

Speaker 1 6:42

Cheese . It says it's made with real cheese . I should have brought a plate Right on the pike .

Speaker 2 6:46

It's made American cheese . Pasteurized cheese snack .

Speaker 1 6:52

Okay , so I have mine's , a Meijer brand and it's American snack cheese . It's pasteurized , but yours actually says made with real cheese . Mine doesn't say that .

Speaker 2 7:01

No , mine says pasteurized cheese snack . Mine doesn't say that . No , mine says pasteurized cheese snack . How many ?

Speaker 1 7:04

calories do you have in a serving oh ?

Speaker 2 7:06

yeah , it does say made with real cheese . Exclamation mark Calories two tablespoons Calories 80 . 80 .

Speaker 1 7:14

Yeah .

Speaker 2 7:15

Sodium Look at the sodium level . What do ?

Speaker 1 7:18

you have 420 . 420 . 420 , 18% . It's the same damn thing what do you got for potassium in that , though Nice , healthy potassium .

Speaker 2 7:28

Let's see , I don't have it listed maybe .

Speaker 1 7:32

Why do you got to lie to me all the time ?

Speaker 2 7:34

Vitamin D , calcium , oh , potassium 80 milligrams , oh , you got more .

Speaker 1 7:39

How much calcium ? I only got 73 potassium Is that what you just said ? No , I said 80 , but no , you said calcium or potassium .

Speaker 2 7:46

Potassium .

Speaker 1 7:47

What do you have for calcium 260 . What Now , hold on here , folks . What do you have that is made with real cheese supposedly yes , I don't know what this is the calcium in this 94 .

Speaker 2 7:59

Well , what's the ingredients list ?

Speaker 1 8:00

Okay , ready ingredients list . Okay ready , yeah , no , yes , water , okay , cheese . Pasteurized milk cheese , culture , salt , enzymes , whey , soybean oil , modified food starch , sodium , phosphate , lactic acid , natural flavors , of course , salt , sodium , hexam , whatever sodium something .

Speaker 2 8:20

So it does have cheese in it and does at the bottom does it say contains milk ?

Speaker 1 8:26

Soy , milk , soy .

Speaker 2 8:27

Milk and soy Mine says contains milk and it is basically the same ingredients list , only they start with whey .

Speaker 1 8:35

Does yours say contains a bio engineered food ingredient ? Yes , it does . So that's the stuff that we're not . It's bad because it changes our makeup and makes us want things that we shouldn't want , like easy cheese . Oh fuck , sorry , pardon my French , it says right there made with real cheese . So yeah , for whatever reason , yours is healthier .

Speaker 2 8:57

Neither one of them are healthy . Come on .

Speaker 1 8:59

Look at this .

Speaker 2 9:00

Here's what we're going to do You're going to close your eyes and I'm going to squirt cheese and you're going to guess which one is which .

Speaker 1 9:05

Where are you squirting it ?

Speaker 2 9:07

Open your mouth . I'm going to put it on a cracker , don't look , oh Christ .

Speaker 1 9:13

Joby should have been here for this .

Speaker 2 9:15

Oh , it came out kind of strong . Where is it ? Wait , don't look yet , oh easy cheese . Don't look yet , oh easy cheese .

Speaker 1 9:23

You're not easy .

Speaker 2 9:26

God damn it Once it comes out , the fuck . Okay , all right , now look .

Speaker 1 9:30

Can I go ?

Speaker 2 9:31

Yeah , you can look .

Speaker 1 9:32

And you can go . Wait , I'm looking at it and they look pretty close . No , they don't . You don't think so . Holy shit , that was the real one . I can tell you right now .

Speaker 2 9:39

Well , they're both real cheese . Well , let me .

Speaker 1 9:42

I know that's a lot of cheese on there dude .

Speaker 2 9:44

Well , once it started coming on .

Speaker 1 9:46

So why am I doing this ? I'm an aficionado .

Speaker 2 9:49

Because you're supposedly , yeah , the dude who knows . Okay , we'll let him crunch it down for a minute and I'll tell you about Easy Cheese . I think you know everything I know about Easy Cheese . If you don't know about easy cheese , it's the cheese in the can . Fyi . Does this say you can't , don't have to refrigerate ? It , I might be wrong cake yep , no refrigeration needed , so you can take it anywhere , okay .

Speaker 1 10:28

Which the first one was .

Speaker 2 10:30

Fake Off-brand , this brand yeah .

Speaker 1 10:31

Okay , and the second one was the Nabisco .

Speaker 2 10:33

You are incorrect . Son of a bitch , yeah .

Speaker 1 10:37

Huh , now you , I mean I'm just going to do it .

Speaker 2 10:41

Yeah , just do it , all right . Oh , that's not cool . What I don't gonna do it yeah just do it . What is that ? That's not cool .

Speaker 1 10:46

What I don't think that's supposed to come out of the can .

Speaker 2 10:47

I'm not eating that . Can you shake it ?

Speaker 1 10:49

Maybe I need to . Let's give this to the dogs .

Speaker 2 10:52

Don't forget to take that . Don't leave it here . I think we need to shake it up . You got a paper towel or something ? No , we have no supplies .

Speaker 1 11:01

No , Nathan was supposed to . Kate is killing it here . Oh , we're losing listeners left and right .

Speaker 2 11:08

Like we had any . Yeah , who cares ? Oh , that's watery , I'm not eating that .

Speaker 1 11:14

Okay , ready .

Speaker 2 11:16

Get rid of that cracker . Yeah I'll , I don't care .

Speaker 1 11:18

I'll eat it .

Speaker 2 11:19

Oh , you're brave . So it was coming out kind of watery and that doesn't look appetizing at all . It's a slow go , but look at how pretty it is . It's all squiggly , it's beautiful . This is the real easy cheese .

Speaker 1 11:40

I hate it so much when people do that . I do too . Sorry , people Funny though , but you know what ? It's pretty delicious , oh , do too .

Speaker 2 11:43

Sorry , people Funny though , but you know what ? It's pretty delicious . Oh and look at , they show it on a hot dog .

Speaker 1 11:50

I've never had it on a hot dog , I'm going to put it on everything .

Speaker 2 11:53

What else could you put it on Nachos ?

Speaker 1 11:56

Hamburgers .

Speaker 2 11:57

Well yeah , hot dogs , hamburgers , Crackers .

Speaker 1 12:02

Wait , crackers . Wait now . What did I just do ? Let me have that one again . I don't want to finger your crackers . Just a couple people sitting around eating cheese on crackers . Don't worry , people , we're almost done eating crackers . I don't know if we are , we might have to do this rest of the show . It really holds on , doesn't it ?

Speaker 2 12:23

there we go did it come out watery , uh-uh ? Did you ever just squirt it in your mouth ?

Speaker 1 12:29

Mm-hmm , you don't know what you're doing with that cheese , do you ?

Speaker 2 12:34

I do too . Look at it Nice Just made a work of art . Ah , spring cheese .

Speaker 1 12:42

You know what that is .

Speaker 2 12:42

That's a fucking hors d'oeuvre right there , hors d'oeuvre , and if you put an olive on there you can serve it up fancy .

Speaker 1 12:52

Well , I don't know . Okay , this expires in October 2025 . That's the Meyer . You know what ? This one expires February 14th . Uh-oh , I don't know . I do think that I was wrong . I gotta apologize to my wife and kids now because so you think the off-brand is okay . Yeah , I think it's fine .

Speaker 2 13:15

Don't you ? I'm nodding my head .

Speaker 1 13:20

Alright . Well , I'll leave those open in case you want to eat some more . Wow , I'm very salty . So what else did we get from cows besides easy cheese ? Indirectly , you know what ? I'm not going to waste the cracker , kate .

Speaker 2 13:32

Do it , do it up .

Speaker 1 13:35

Wait , you want to see something . Look at that .

Speaker 2 13:39

Oh , he's going to do two on one . There we go .

Speaker 1 13:42

It's like you're mixing the races here I'm going to end up going to the ER again I have a sodium overload .

Speaker 2 13:51

It's very salty but it's good . Oh , this one says you get eight servings in the can , this one only seven .

Speaker 1 14:05

Uh-oh , eight ounce can . Eight ounce can .

Speaker 2 14:10

What the hell , they're both two tablespoons . Well , that's weird . Do the math on that one . Well , I don't know . I think the Meyer was pretty good yeah .

Speaker 1 14:23

I do too .

Speaker 2 14:23

So now your task can be to try all the store brand ones . My task yeah , I can't eat that much of Easy Cheese .

Speaker 1 14:32

My wife will leave me if she comes home and sees 10 cans of Easy . Cheese . You don't have to refrigerate them . You know the reason . They didn't get me Easy Cheese this year For Christmas , like I said they usually did . It's because of that With Christmas , like I said they usually did . It's because of that podcast .

Speaker 2 14:46

Oh , because you said you were slamming on it .

Speaker 1 14:48

Mm-hmm .

Speaker 2 14:50

Oh , they were listening . Yeah , Nice job family .

Speaker 1 14:52

Yeah , thank you , family .

Speaker 2 14:54

All right . So all kinds of dairy products , of course , come from what ? From cows , I know , but what ? All kinds ? Any cheese , sour cream , cottage cheese , I guess it's cheese , what else ? Cheese ?

Speaker 1 15:09

curds , cheese curds and whey Every show . We should do some food .

Speaker 2 15:16

But not crunchy food . That was gross , I'm sorry .

Speaker 1 15:19

What about meat ? You like the cow meat there .

Speaker 2 15:22

I do like cow meat . I try not to , but I do .

Speaker 1 15:28

My wife hasn't had beef in three , four years now .

Speaker 2 15:32

Oh , good for you , bro , I mean .

Speaker 1 15:34

She loves the cow .

Speaker 2 15:35

I know and okay , so I'm going to read you some stuff about cows . And then , after I was researching , I was like I am a really mean person for eating these cows .

Speaker 1 15:47

Well , you're kind of mean in general . Well , yeah , I like it they have a strong sense of smell .

Speaker 2 15:52

They can smell stuff up to a mile away . Hmm , their peripheral vision is 360 because their eyes are on both sides of their heads .

Speaker 1 16:02

That comes in handy , doesn't it it ?

Speaker 2 16:03

does when people like me are stalking them , trying to tip them over ?

Speaker 1 16:07

Yeah , you ever do that . No , that seems . I think that was on my list that seems really rude . And hard to do .

Speaker 2 16:14

And hard to do , but they do sleep standing up , so maybe you have to wait until they sleep , but this really 10 hours a day . Cows have individual personalities too , so some are shy and timid , and some are bold and curious .

Speaker 1 16:30

Some are assholes .

Speaker 2 16:31

Some are probably assholes . Those are the ones I'm thinking I'm eating .

Speaker 1 16:35

And that kill 20 people annually .

Speaker 2 16:37

Really .

Speaker 1 16:38

I wouldn't make that up , cows .

Speaker 2 16:40

But they're smart too . They understand cause and effect relationships , which means that they can solve problems to receive a reward . Like they can , you know , uncover something to get a treat underneath .

Speaker 1 16:54

What do you think they think when they see that trailer coming ? And they got to get on it .

Speaker 2 16:58

Do you think they know ?

Speaker 1 16:59

I'm sure they do . I know one time I was behind a trailer that was headed to a whatever and the cows were so freaking out there they were pooping out the back and I felt so horrible .

Speaker 2 17:10

Oh my god , they're like jews going holocaust yeah , it's terrible yeah , and veal . I can't eat veal no , that's horrible yeah , because they're just little , those little baby cows , and they just put them in a container basically . That just kind of makes me sick to my stomach .

Speaker 1 17:26

Don't Puke up the cheese .

Speaker 2 17:29

We'll try not to . They also have great memories . Well , I don't know if all their memories are great , but they can remember . They can remember where water and shelter is located and they recognize their own herd .

Speaker 1 17:43

And they're very social right .

Speaker 2 17:44

They're very social . They have a wide range of emotions too Joy , frustration , fear and they depend on each other for emotional support . They're highly sociable and they have best friends .

Speaker 1 17:55

Damn it , Kate .

Speaker 2 17:57

They become stressed when they're separated . And they help each other . The it , kate they become stressed when they're separated , oh God . And they help each other . The cows they seek pleasure and love to play , they frolick , they chase those balls , they run , they prance . And after I wrote all that , I wrote why do you have to be so delicious ? Because it's true .

Speaker 1 18:16

I feel bad . I know what are we even eating animals for ?

Speaker 2 18:20

I don't know who started that , probably somebody who was hungry and there wasn't any plants available .

Speaker 1 18:25

Somebody was probably eating people and they were like stop eating people .

Speaker 2 18:28

Yeah , but you know , we're all mammals .

Speaker 1 18:32

Yeah .

All About Cows and Bovine

Speaker 2 18:33

So let's talk about dairy breeds . There's six main dairy breeds . Oh shit , I sure the Guernsey Brown Swiss you don't get chocolate milk from them Milking Shorthorn Jersey . And the Holstein , which is the black and white cow that looks very familiar in the pictures . Did you know that a group of 12 or more cows is called not a herd , but a flink ? I did not A flink , I did not A flink , a flink . I like that . I like that too .

Speaker 1 19:03

I'm going to use that Flink of cows . Flink of cows .

Speaker 2 19:05

I think if you own them , then they're a herd Wait what's the difference then ? Well , if they're just cows in a group they're a flink . I guess if you're taking them to market they're a herd gotcha . The largest cow it wasn't ducky . Well , it was documented but not guaranteed documented because it was from 1807 in bilton abbey in the uk . The largest cow they report , they recorded , was 7 foot tall .

Speaker 1 19:40

Oh , yeah , yeah , what was his name ? And ?

Speaker 2 19:41

he weighed 4,300 pounds .

Speaker 1 19:43

Wait .

Speaker 2 19:44

Well , I don't know , I didn't meet him .

Speaker 1 19:45

There was a name . Anyway , go ahead .

Speaker 2 19:47

And lately there is a cow that is 6'2" In 2025 , there was pictures of that cow .

Speaker 1 19:54

That's a big cow .

Speaker 2 19:55

That is a tall cow . You already said a thousand different breeds of cows worldwide . How about some famous cows ? There's not that many . I thought there'd be more .

Speaker 1 20:04

There's one , the Farside Comics . Oh yeah , I love the Farside , click Clack Moo .

Speaker 2 20:13

Click , clack Moo , is that the name of that ? Clarabelle is a Disney cartoon . She's Minnie's friend in the old ones . I don't know .

Speaker 1 20:23

I believe you .

Speaker 2 20:23

She's not very attractive , Sorry , Clarabelle . Bye Clarabelle . Then there's Elsie the cow . She was from the World's Fair in 1939 , and then she became the Borden dairy rep .

Speaker 1 20:36

Oh , that's funny . So on the .

Speaker 2 20:38

Borden stuff . There's a picture of a cow that's Elsie the cow .

Speaker 1 20:41

Set up her family for the rest of their lives .

Speaker 2 20:45

They're set , they're still getting residuals , yeah for sure . Then there was Maude Ormsby . In 1921 , she produced 743 pounds of milk and 28 pounds of butterfat in seven days . In seven days .

Speaker 1 21:04

That's busy .

Speaker 2 21:05

She's . That's a lot , and because of that fame she was elected homecoming queen at Ohio State University in 1926 .

Speaker 1 21:14

Sounds about right for Ohio State .

Speaker 2 21:15

Eh Well , how would you like to be the losing person to her ?

Speaker 1 21:19

I lost to a cow . Yeah , no kidding .

Speaker 2 21:22

Oh man , my favorite cow is probably Ferdinand the Bull . There's books , kids' books . We were just talking about that .

Speaker 1 21:29

We watched the movie . You ever watch the movie ? No , it's a goddamn delight , is it ? It's really good , oh . I love the book and that's why I thought about that . You know they see the thing coming and they know where they're going to get . They know . Yeah , there's a whole thing about that in there .

Speaker 2 21:44

He lived in Spain . Oh , actually it was based on a real cow that lived in Spain , Spain .

Speaker 1 21:49

You know they fought bulls there . Yeah , they did . And you know they don't see the well . They see colors , but the red's not .

Speaker 2 21:55

What does it ? They don't see red . No , they see the movement . The movement , yeah . So why is it always red ? I don't know . Somebody started that and then they found out what that's kind of brutal . Did you ever see pictures of the running of the bulls ? Yeah , oh my gosh . And people are like , oh dear , people are getting killed . Good yeah , you will die . I mean , that just is a fact .

Speaker 1 22:19

Bunch of tough guys . Yeah , morons .

Speaker 2 22:23

Tradition , I guess . So the last cow to graze on the White House lawn so far was during the Taft administration in 1913 . And that cow's name was Pauline .

Speaker 1 22:34

They don't have cows there anymore . No , they don't .

Speaker 2 22:37

Maybe they should get some . I'm not going to gonna touch it and that's all we're gonna say okay . Okay , we already said clarla , what do you think are the top cow names ? Like , if you were gonna name a cow , what would you name it ?

Speaker 1 22:50

bella uh yeah , I think that was um um jack jack the cow Jack , the Cow Jack , the Bull Mabel . Maud .

Speaker 2 23:02

Dottie Buttercup , brownie .

Speaker 1 23:05

Bessie , bessie the Cow .

Speaker 2 23:10

So I don't know . You know I love you cows , but why do you have to be so delicious ?

Speaker 1 23:18

They're quite delicious .

Speaker 2 23:20

I wish I didn't like beef , but I do .

Speaker 1 23:24

I know Me too . What about the methane gas thing ?

Speaker 2 23:30

Oh yeah , they pump a lot out . They actually do , I think it's because it goes through all the stomachs . It has something to do with it .

Speaker 1 23:37

Yeah , the chemical reaction there , and they actually recently did a study . It goes last year and I can't don't quote me , of course , because we're just fucking around here , but I really did see watched it last night where they gave cows one percent seaweed in their diet and it reduced the methane gas by 42 percent from one percent seaweed . Wow , yeah , so that's pretty amazing , wow that is a lot yeah , but the thing is they're like well , how do we do this ?

Speaker 2 24:09

the seaweed's harder to you know , get right right , not a lot of cows live by the ocean .

Speaker 1 24:18

No .

Speaker 2 24:20

So anything else you want to add about cows or bovine in general .

Speaker 1 24:25

Well , you think beef is delicious . In the rest of the world , I do . The US , or global the world , that's what it's called they do too , because it's the third most consumed meat .

Speaker 2 24:34

Guess what's first and second Chicken and pork , and pork Pork is pretty delicious too , and I Chicken and pork and pork Pork is pretty delicious too , and I love those pigs , they're so cute , yeah . But bacon , oh my God , why do you have to be so delicious

The Ethics of Cow Consumption

Speaker 2 24:46

?

Speaker 1 24:46

India , as you know , the cows are sacred .

Speaker 2 24:49

Sacred Not getting any beef there . No .

Speaker 1 24:54

Cows represent fertility and nourishment and sustenance In India or all over . Yeah , in general , yeah , and I just the cow , I guess you know it's like a symbol of rural life .

Speaker 2 25:08

It is . It's when you think of a cow , usually a black and white cow . What did I say ? It was Guernsey . No , comes to mind Black and white , it was Holstein .

Speaker 1 25:20

Yeah , it was Guernsey . Oh , comes to mind Black and white , it was Holstein . Yeah , it was . Then there's the whole debate about factory farming . Oh , and you'll see those videos . Oh , it's bad . It's bad If you ever want to sack up and think maybe I shouldn't eat beef .

Speaker 2 25:36

If you don't want to eat beef or chicken or pork , watch .

Speaker 1 25:40

How they treat the animals and how horrible it is when they die . It is and I know everyone's just animals .

Speaker 2 25:47

No , they're not . Well , we proved that they have personalities .

Speaker 1 25:51

Well , there's a lot of people who don't care .

Speaker 2 25:55

Well , I know , I don't . When I have a hamburger in front of me . I feel like I don't care either . Yeah , it don't .

Speaker 1 26:00

When I have a hamburger in front of me , I feel like I don't care either . Yeah , it is good Steak . Come on a roast . I've seen those things and still eat them . I don't eat as much beef as I used to , though . I just don't .

Speaker 2 26:08

No , we used to actually buy like a half a cow or whatever .

Speaker 1 26:13

The weird thing too is there's sometimes like oh man , the steak looks good and I'll start eating it and I'm like bleh .

Speaker 2 26:19

Yeah , like the texture of it , maybe Just in general like meat . Yeah , if you think about it too much , I think that's .

Speaker 1 26:26

oh , wait a minute .

Speaker 2 26:29

Wait a minute .

Speaker 1 26:30

Bellino , maybe that was the name of the cow . It was a Chianina breed . That's not on your list . No , it's not .

Speaker 2 26:39

I don't have all thousands written down . Is it a dairy cow ?

Speaker 1 26:43

Yeah , I think so . Oh , a cow can hold their stomach can hold 50 gallons .

Speaker 2 26:51

Whatever Of everything .

Speaker 1 26:53

That's like a bathtub of .

Speaker 2 26:54

That is a lot , yeah , but they're big , they're quite large and they got four of those stomachs .

Speaker 1 27:00

I can't get to the last page . It's stuffed with some easy cheese . Come on .

Speaker 2 27:05

Do you have any more facts ? Maybe I'm looking . Oh yeah , you got another whole page you research man .

Speaker 1 27:12

The beef industry generates $66 billion annually . And when you got that much money going , guess what ? Things aren't going to probably change much .

Speaker 2 27:18

Remember , and when you've got that much money going , guess what . Things aren't going to probably change much . Remember when Oprah said don't eat hamburgers and they sued her and she's like you're stupid and they lost .

Speaker 1 27:27

I guess that's it .

Speaker 2 27:29

So what do you say ? Hero or dick for cows ?

Speaker 1 27:32

Hero .

Speaker 2 27:34

They're delicious heroes .

Speaker 1 27:36

Sorry , they are delicious heroes .

Speaker 2 27:38

So for our fast five , we're going to stay on cow-related stuff .

Speaker 1 27:41

I'm pretty depressed now though .

Speaker 2 27:43

I know , me too , and the first one is hamburgers .

Speaker 1 27:48

Fuck Hero .

Speaker 2 27:49

I know I'm so hero . I love a hamburger . I just ate one , damn it . How about Impossible Burgers , though ?

Speaker 1 27:56

Those aren't bad and they're heroic because for people that can't eat beef , or don't want to have you had one . Yeah , they're pretty good .

Speaker 2 28:02

Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 1 28:03

Have you had the Impossible Wieners or whatever the brats ?

Speaker 2 28:05

No .

Speaker 1 28:06

They're pretty damn good .

Speaker 2 28:07

Are they ?

Speaker 1 28:07

I'm not lying to you .

Speaker 2 28:09

I believe you .

Speaker 1 28:10

And actually it's weird , they got it , so it looks like the meat is bloody .

Speaker 2 28:14

I think the more they make it look like meat , the more people will try it . It's more expensive , though . But how about sirloin or a T-bone ? I mean , what do you mean ? You can't impossible those ? No , no , and they're delicious , and they're heroes . I say what's your favorite kind of steak ? I'm going to say a sirloin . I like a ribeye , oh , I like a ribeye .

Speaker 1 28:42

I used to love roasts .

Speaker 2 28:43

And now I do too , if they're made correctly or the way I think is correctly .

Speaker 1 28:49

What do you mean ?

Speaker 2 28:50

I mean , like my mom used to make it Go ahead , she'd sear it and then put it in a pan and then put potatoes and carrots and onions around it and then put it in the oven for two , three hours .

Speaker 1 29:02

Get the gravy juice stuff going . Oh my God , it was so good . Yeah , dip some bread in there .

Speaker 2 29:06

And now this is . You know again , I love them , but if you stop and think about it , it's really really gross what . Ribs it's really gross Deliciously . Yeah , I mean , it's the rib of that animal .

Speaker 1 29:22

I know it's a living thing . That's like chewing on a person .

Speaker 2 29:25

It's horrible . What are we doing ? I know it's horrible .

Speaker 1 29:30

We're all vegetarian .

Speaker 2 29:31

We're both vegetarians now . And that's my next thing . So , vegetarians , I give you eye marks and you're heroes .

Speaker 1 29:40

Maybe one day Do you think we could do it ? See how long we can go without eating meat . You think we could last ? Oh , you can't , you're going on vacation .

Speaker 2 29:46

I'm going on vacation , so I choose not to . I want to eat whatever I want to eat , but I'll probably eat a lot of fish , actually the way , I'm done .

Speaker 1 29:52

We should try Maybe in February .

Speaker 2 29:54

we'll try it . Try to , because I'm not doing it during barbecue season .

Speaker 1 30:00

No fucking way I get it .

Speaker 2 30:05

How about ?

Speaker 1 30:06

this gas grill versus charcoal ? I'm a charcoal guy .

Speaker 2 30:10

But gas is so nice because you fire it up and gas is easy . But charcoal is better . Yeah , I think so too .

Speaker 1 30:13

I think we talked about that one Wait , are we supposed to say hero or dick ? Yeah Hero , gas dick , charcoal hero .

Speaker 2 30:22

Okay , and we have one more cow related item , and it's leather Leather jackets and leather shoes . I mean , if we're going to kill them and eat them , we might as well use their skin right ? Yeah , don't waste anything . That's super worse . I feel like a Nazi talking about cows .

Speaker 1 30:42

I'm so sorry cows , there might be a time , like hundreds of years from now , when people look back at us . Those people were horrible . They're barbarians .

Speaker 2 30:52

They're eating spray cheese , spray cheese and cows .

Speaker 1 30:54

Killing animals and chewing on their ribs .

Speaker 2 30:57

Chewing on their ribs

Exploring Vegetarian and Non-Vegetarian Options

Speaker 2 30:59

.

Speaker 1 30:59

Eating tongues .

Speaker 2 31:00

Oh , I know , no , no liver , no tongue , no , nothing , no organs , no organs Really . But I can remember going to my grandmother's house and she was serving us .

Speaker 1 31:11

Tongue , yeah , and that it looked like a big tongue . I tried . Oh , it was oral .

Speaker 2 31:17

Oh God , I don't think I tried it . I don't know .

Speaker 1 31:23

Oh God , anything else we want to no but now I'm depressed .

Speaker 2 31:29

I really think this one's a real dud . Yeah , this podcast I think so it's a dick , even though we think cows are heroes . But well , let's , let's think about that for the next two weeks , maybe february . You know , january is dry month , so maybe february can be vegetarian month wait , sure can .

Speaker 1 31:44

you's short , can you eat fish ?

Speaker 2 31:47

Well , can we just do non-vegetarian ? Technically , vegetarians don't eat anything with a face . What but my vegetarian relative Eat anything with a face , eats fish and shrimp and Shrimp . So , she just doesn't eat beef or chicken . Okay , well , maybe . So maybe we can just do beef and pork maybe .

Speaker 1 32:14

Yeah , that sounds like , I don't know .

Speaker 2 32:15

I can do something you can do it , I feel a change coming okay maybe not and maybe at the end of that month we would feel so healthy we we would Probably Well , probably we should knock off these canned cheese First we'll eat our easy cheese .

Speaker 1 32:32

Alright , thanks everybody .

Speaker 2 32:35

Talk to you soon . Bye .