Habits and Comparison

In this episode I break down WHY creating, adjusting and developing certain habits for starting our day, really affects how we move through our day and our week. 

But in true ADHD fashion I couldn't stay on just one topic, I also touch on how comparison on social media affects how we're approaching our business - be that online or how we think about our business as a whole. 

My goal with this episode is to help put things into perspective a little bit more when it comes to how we choose to wake up and start our day - not every day is going to be the exact same BUT having different ways to help offset whatever mood we might wake up in, really helps in how we end up showing up not only for our clients and their dogs but also how we show up for ourselves inside and outside of our business. 

Transcript

[00:00:00]Hey, welcome back to the Leashed Mind Podcast, mental Health and Dog Training. I'm your host, Mandy Boutelle. On today's episode, I wanna talk about moving through our day and habits in all the various ways that we can set ourselves up to really. Not, not just set ourselves up for success, but just setting up the dominoes of our day in a way that it's gonna benefit us. 

[00:00:32] And I am the first to acknowledge that not every day starts the same way. Sometimes we have habits in place and. It just doesn't work every single day. We're human. We aren't the same every single day. If we were, that would be so completely boring and I, I don't think I'd have a podcast, but I really wanna touch on how. 

[00:00:55] Having habits, finding what habits work for you [00:01:00] and, and ways to mold them and adjust to them so that we're setting ourselves up in the best way possible so that we're not getting burnt out, we're not hitting that wall, and, and if we are getting burnt out, we're having a quicker recovery time from it. So let's get into this episode. 

[00:01:18] Okay, so the whole reason I wanted to talk about this is because over the last month I've really noticed this within myself. And usually when I notice these things within myself, I can almost always guarantee that someone else is feeling the same way. I know that I am never alone in how I feel, uh, whether people talk about it or not. 

[00:01:40] So, I have, uh, my, my whole system of habits I've had that I've, that have worked really well for me, have kind of fallen apart ever since I had foot surgery. So I had foot surgery on April 13th and . Just the way, like I, I haven't been able to start my [00:02:00] day the way I usually do since surgery. 

[00:02:02] I haven't been able to really find the ways to take care of and prioritize myself. I haven't been able to stay on top of my habits that I usually do, and while I'm not getting burnt out and I'm not losing productivity per se, I'm still. Not feeling as shiny as I usually do. That's a good way to put it. 

[00:02:26] Like I just, I, I'm noticing like I'm, my mood is going down. I'm not feeling as excited about work. Things feel a little more daunting. My sleep isn't as good, and I notice that's because I'm setting myself up not to fail, but I'm just not setting myself up in the way that I should and. I've been doing this long enough now that I know when I have certain habits in place. 

[00:02:52] They'll help depending on how I'm feeling that day. But so when I, I have that system in place and I have that habit of, okay, this [00:03:00] is my morning time, cuz that is the only time I have for myself really before the day gets going. Because once the day gets going, I just run with it and I jump into work, or I jump into taking care of the animals or doing whatever tour needs to be done and then end of the day comes and I didn't take care of myself, I didn't meet any of my needs that I need met starting, you know, the way I started my mornings before I had surgery is it would be, I'd wake up, I'd make my coffee, I'd have my water, I would. Read my book and then I would do yoga or Pilates or some type of at home workout, take my ADHD medication, shower, get the, like I would just check off all my boxes and that's how I did some days that really worked. 

[00:03:44] Some days I really needed that strong. Like, okay, this is my routine this morning, and then some days I wake up and I would be exhausted or I would just feel like, okay, that's not what I'm feeling this morning. I need something else. But I still [00:04:00] try really hard to not check social media first thing. And the reason I am, I try. 

[00:04:08] Keyword word. Try to be so, um, vigilant with that is because I know, and I'm saying this as example, cuz I started my morning this way yesterday and it really showed how I moved through my day yesterday. So, yesterday morning I checked my social media first thing. What happened? I, I literally did not even get outta bed yet. 

[00:04:27] Checked, uh, Instagram, Facebook, text messages and email. Like, those are the things that I usually check off, but not when I wake up. First thing, because what am I doing when I do that? The first thing, I open my eyes. I'm, my brain isn't even fully functioning yet. Haven't had water or coffee, haven't moved. 

[00:04:47] Just woke up. I'm already letting other things take priority over me and myself and my needs. So checking social media, responding to comments, responding to messages, [00:05:00] checking, just everything that doesn't need to happen. First thing, why is it that we feel this need to prioritize others and check these things? 

[00:05:10] We might get a little hit of dopamine when it happens, but. Then what happens? We are scrolling for an hour or two and then there goes our morning, and then we're not able to do our morning routine of reading. We're not able to focus on our workout because we've lost time. Now it's eight o'clock and we gotta get going with the day. 

[00:05:28] You see what I'm saying? So, and I know that's not like that for everybody, but I know for me that when I do that, when I start my day like that, I'm not. Operating at the level that I want to be during my day because, and, and it's not that, you know, oh, I checked social media and that ran ruined my day and I saw this video and it pissed me off. 

[00:05:53] That's not what it is. It's, I didn't take the time to take care of myself in the morning and give [00:06:00] myself that downtime that I need to slowly wake up and turn my brain on. Because when you're like, think of it this way. So if you're waking up first thing and you're, turning your brain on, do you think turning it on with social media and reading about other people's lives, seeing other people's lives, seeing what other people are re-sharing and commenting and messaging. 

[00:06:22] Versus, having a nice morning away from my phone, reading a book, working out, moving my body, taking time to do some journaling or breath work, whatever I feel like I need, how am I gonna move through the day in those two different realms? Well, I'll tell you, yesterday I checked social media first thing what happened? 

[00:06:42] I ended up scrolling on my phone for two hours, so, you know, come 7, 7 30, I'm like in a daze because I was just in my phone scrolling, like looking at, you know, everyone else having a great time and starting their day with their morning routine. And it's like, that's not real life, first of [00:07:00] all. Like this is all manicured and edited. 

[00:07:02] Videos made to look pretty and attract us, and that is what happened. So I got sucked in and then I felt frazzled. I was like, oh, I'll work out. I didn't work out cuz I didn't have the time because I needed to move on with my day and move on to projects. And then my mood was kind of just blah the whole day. 

[00:07:20] I got things done, but I didn't feel excited or energetic about it. I just wanted to cross the things off the list. So I felt like I did something. But it was one of those days where I didn't feel like I really did all that I wanted to do in the way I wanted to do it. And sometimes that happens, but. The rest of the day, I kind of just felt rushed and hurried. 

[00:07:42] I didn't wanna talk, I didn't wanna interact. Like my husband came to check on me and tried to interact with me and I was just like, I don't wanna talk, I don't wanna interact, like I just felt. and that, that's how I started my day. I started my day, you know, seeing all of whatever everyone else is posting online and [00:08:00] instantly comparing myself and getting down on myself. 

[00:08:02] And then, That's how I moved through my day versus, you know, this morning, or even just last week. I made sure every day last week I started my day with reading one of my books for an hour or two, enjoying my coffee. Having that time to myself. I woke my brain up differently because I was reading and engaging in a way that was. 

[00:08:24] Just nicer on my brain. You know, I, I got that dopamine, but I didn't, it didn't come at a price of, you know, imposter syndrome kicking in and the cortisol levels going up. You want your cortisol levels higher in the morning. That's, you know, it's a whole thing. If you listen to Andrew Huberman, I'm not gonna get into that, but there's certain give and take with all of it, I hope I'm making sense and not just sounding like I'm rambling. 

[00:08:48] What I'm trying to explain here is just how we start our day really sets up how we move through it.  

[00:08:55] When you wake up, that is the first domino in your day and you [00:09:00] know, whatever you're knocking down, that's kind of how you're gonna move through the day. what I'm trying to explain is just the habits don't have to be the same every day though. 

[00:09:08] They just. it's a matter of finding ways to fine tune them and adjust them based on how you wake up. Not, we're not gonna wake up the same way every day. And those habits that we like may not transfer the same with how we wake up. So, if I wake up feeling icky, emotional down, I'm not gonna wanna go read my book. 

[00:09:29] I'm not gonna want to be on social media for sure. I could do that, but that's not gonna make me feel any better. So some days I'm like, uh, maybe I just need a journal. Maybe I just need to go sit outside by myself with my coffee without the animals unbothered, just to be in my head a little bit and wake up. 

[00:09:45] But it, so I like to have kind of like habits of like A, B, C, D, and just like kind of backup plans for whenever. My morning isn't kind of moving in the way I want it to because every day that we [00:10:00] have it is a new day and. Oh, I sound so motivational and like, but it's true and, and so, you know, I had a bad day yesterday. 

[00:10:08] I'm not gonna carry that over to the next day because if I do, it's just gonna keep that funky feeling moving along through the week, and then I'm not gonna feel good about work or productivity or getting anything done. it's just a matter of. Finding ways to adjust it so that you're still productive, you're still getting things done, but You're not psyching yourself out first thing. So again, I'm gonna keep going back to social media because while it is a great place for networking and expanding and helping people find us, it is also a very toxic place. There is that. Big comparison factor, especially when you know you follow other dog trainers and that's something I have never been able to communicate or get people to understand is that, yeah, it is good to follow other dog trainers. 

[00:10:59] Yes, it is good [00:11:00] to have a system and a network of, colleagues that you rely on and communicate with. And. Brainstorm and all that stuff. But as a dog trainer, unless you are, you know, mentoring other dog trainers or stuff like that, your audience isn't dog trainers, their dog parents. Your clients are dog parents, and you don't have to worry so much about what another dog trainer is gonna say about your content because that's not your audience. Let that sink in. Again, you shouldn't worry about  

[00:11:29] what another dog trainer has to say about your content, your profile, your website. When they aren't your audience, they're not your clientele, they're not, they're your colleague, they're your friend. They're people that you connect with, but they're not your clientele. So don't get so caught up in the comparison factor here when you have two different businesses, you might be doing the same thing, but. 

[00:11:53] Their clientele might not be your clientele and that's okay. A lot of the times we get in our own head [00:12:00] of, oh, I saw this person made this real and this person made this post explaining this, and I'm not doing that. I haven't done that. That's okay. Because that's their business. You can, you know, get ideas and get inspired by other people. 

[00:12:12] And if you do get inspired by someone, you know, say, Hey, this was inspired by so-and-so, and @ them just to give a little credit, but. Don't just get stuck in the comparison of, okay, someone is posting these things. I should be doing that. I should be working at the same level. that's unrealistic. 

[00:12:29] Nobody works at the same level. No one is the exact same. No one has the exact same brain thought process. It's similar, but it's not the same. And so, I feel like a lot of times we get hung up on even starting new things because someone's done this already or someone's done it in this light, but they haven't done it the way you've done it. 

[00:12:50] And I hear so many dog trainers. I, interact with a lot of dog trainers. Pretty much all my friends are dog trainers. And I hear so many times they're like, oh, I wish I, [00:13:00] wanna start a podcast and I wanna do this. But for me too, when I was wanting to start a podcast, I was like, well, there's so many podcasts out there, but there weren't podcasts in the angle. 

[00:13:10] I was wanting to approach it, and there's so many mental health podcasts out there, but it wasn't the angle or the niche I wanted to do. There's so many dog training podcasts. There are so many dog training podcasts out there, but it may not be in the way you wanna do it. It may not be the angle you wanna do it, and I think we need to remove that fear of, well, someone's done this, therefore there's no room for me to do it in my way. 

[00:13:34] That's not true. That's just not true. I wouldn't be sitting here saying, you know, I've had Woof Cultr successfully for four years. There are plenty of t-shirt businesses out there. There are plenty of, you know, dog trainers that have started their own t-shirt businesses on the side via bonfire or whatever, but no one's done it the way I've done it and. 

[00:13:54] well, people have done it the way I've done it, but they've done it after I did it. Uh, but that is a [00:14:00] whole other topic. but it's, it's. Doing it differently. And, and with that, you know, there are people who, after I started Woof Cultr, they went and did some kind of t-shirt business, but they didn't do it exactly like I did it. 

[00:14:12] They did it differently. And I respect that because when you see something and you see a good idea, just adjust it and, and pivot it for yourself and do it in your way. Because I think that's the thing that people don't notice, is that. Not everyone's gonna do it the same, and no one should do it the same because everyone's gonna have their own unique experience with it. 

[00:14:33] But yeah, I'll get off my soapbox with that. so that was a whole tangent with that, but I think that comes over into the habits thing just because. 

[00:14:43] You know, we're 

[00:14:45] we have the habit to check social media. We have this habit of comparing and seeing what other people are doing, and I think it's fine if we're trying to research and get ideas for what we want to do, but it, needs to stop at a certain [00:15:00] point because, We're gonna be our own worst enemy and get into our own heads, and then we're gonna second guess it. 

[00:15:06] And then we're slowly gonna talk ourselves out of it and say, we aren't gonna do it. Maybe we'll revisit it in a year. Then that doesn't happen. And then, you know, the project that we were actually feeling really passionate about goes out the window because we talked ourselves out of it. I can't tell you how many times I've talked myself out of doing a podcast, and yet here we are. 

[00:15:26] So. I think that's pretty self-explanatory, but back to the habits thing, It's gonna be different. For everybody. You know, it's some, there are some people that are like, I don't wanna spend an hour reading a book in the morning, Mandy, or I don't wanna go move my body. That's fine. It doesn't need to be first thing in the morning. Then you need to sit down and figure out, okay, when do you have certain breaks in your day? 

[00:15:49] When do you know that you can have at least an hour? Hour and a half, 30 minutes to yourself throughout your day. When that window is, [00:16:00] when you have that time to take care of yourself and prioritize yourself. And I know from personal experience, I used to be the first person I would break a promise to and not hold myself accountable. 

[00:16:12] And now I've shifted it in a way where, I am the first person I keep a promise to. And if I say I am going to do this and I'm going to have this time for myself, I do it because I should be most important to myself. I should prioritize myself, and it's so hard to keep promises to ourselves, yet we do it to clients all the time and we show up for clients all the time and our spouses. 

[00:16:36] But it never makes its way back to us and it's, you know, how do we expect to keep moving through our business and growing as trainers, entrepreneurs, behaviorists, whatever. If we just kind of keep sticking in this box of, well, you know, I can't really, I don't have time, I don't have the, you know, I don't know what I like to do. 

[00:16:55] It takes time. It takes time to develop that. That is a skill to learn. It's [00:17:00] taken me at least a year and a half to realize that like, okay, I, mornings are my peak time for me, and if I don't have like my downtime and my morning, I feel rushed throughout my day, that might apply to you. That might resonate with you. 

[00:17:16] So if it does, Then I think we gotta turn things around a little bit and think about, okay, so how do you wanna enjoy that time with yourself in the morning? Do you wanna go on a solo walk by yourself without your dog? Do you want to spend an hour reading a book? Do you wanna start taking a workout class? 

[00:17:37] Do you wanna start prepping? You know, maybe you love cooking, you know, prep your meals for the day in the morning. What there, it's, the end possibilities are endless, but it's just thinking of what. Fills you up, what makes you feel calm and not stressed in the mornings or whenever it is during the day, and leaning into that more. 

[00:17:59] So [00:18:00] for me, I, I know that, for example, The week out from my cycle starting that shift happens. Thank you. PM dd? But when that shift happens, I know that my morning routine is not going to cut it. 

[00:18:13] Those two weeks, it's not gonna be the same. It's gonna change daily and. I lean into that. So the week before my cycle starts and the week of, I will typically give myself longer mornings because I know I need a little more time to. Feel nice and not so, angry or emotional. and I need more time to kind of regulate myself. 

[00:18:35] So I give myself that time. It, it, you know, I'm not taking until 12, but I, I might, you know, start work at nine instead of like eight or seven. Or I might stretch and do some breathing. Like it's just little ways to really show ourselves love. The start of our day because when you do social media or you check emails or you just, you check things that aren't that important. 

[00:18:59] First [00:19:00] thing when you wake up, you're just letting that run your day. And when that runs your day, it runs. That is just, that is a straight shot into getting burnout because you were putting everything else before yourself, so. At the very least, I would love it if you take away from this episode to just find ways to prioritize yourself. 

[00:19:18] Because you are important and you are so important to your clients and the dogs, animals you are serving. But you gotta be able to take care of yourself because when you're not, then you're gonna get burnt out. You're not gonna enjoy it. And that is why we. Lose so many incredible professionals in this industry, um, from burnout and just not loving what they're doing anymore because they're not taking the breaks and the time to recover and bounce back from that. 

[00:19:49] And I feel like a lot of the times, uh, as dog professionals, we feel like it just has to be go, go, go, go, go, go. Why, why do we feel that way [00:20:00] when, you know, no, I, I know why we feel that way. It's, it's because we all do these training certifications and, um, I spoke with about this with another, uh, one of my guests. 

[00:20:11] It's just, We're taught about behavior, we're taught about mechanics. We're talk, talking about training, little, little bit about, you know, how to interact with clients and teaching, but it, they're all just surface level and we never really dive into where we need to take care of ourselves as trainers. And I would love to see it eventually that that gets worked into training programs because, I could guarantee that a lot of us would be less burnt out if we were taught from the beginning of our careers that we need to take care of ourselves. 

[00:20:45] But I think that's just, I do see that change happening and I do see more mentorships and, and Facebook groups and networking groups happening, but it needs to start. With our training courses,[00:21:00] call me crazy. But you know, we're not taught to be entrepreneurs. We're not taught how to have boundaries in our business. 

[00:21:07] If we want that, we have to go work with a business consultant or we need to go do with this. But I feel like that should kind of be a part of the foundation we're laying when we're working to become training professionals because, it is rare that we know how to put ourselves first. And um, a lot of the times I have noticed that, people will start from a shelter background. 

[00:21:29] Don't even get me started on that. They're coming from a background where it's just that's, that is so mentally draining and exhausting, and there's so much. Emotional effort put into that. And then they come into training and it's like, oh, okay. So it's, I'm still not prioritizing myself and I'm still putting clients and the dogs, uh, above me and that's. 

[00:21:53] That is no way to move through life or your business because that is a great way to get burnt out. Speaking as someone [00:22:00] that who was burnt out from all of 2020 up until January, 2023. And I still get burnt out, but I bounce back faster now. Um, and I'm finally at a point now where I can say, oh, okay, I, I, I've done too much and I haven't. 

[00:22:16] You know, I, I didn't do my mornings the way I've been wanting to do them. I haven't given myself just like some one-on-one Mandy time, and I need that. And that is usually where I notice before I get burned out. So if you notice that, oh, lean into that and go, okay, I need to take some time for myself and, and you know, I know. 

[00:22:38] A lot of people have kids, they have a lot going on. They might be taking care of a, you know, elderly parent. There are so many factors, but regardless of that, you should find ways to prioritize yourself during your day and, and instill little tiny habits if you can. That will really just help guide you in taking care of yourself. 

[00:22:59] [00:23:00] We do so much in this profession. I know it's a little different now because a lot of people are doing virtual, but when I was a trainer, you know, I was driving, I was in my car, I was gone for like 10 hours of the day not seeing my spouse, and then the second I'd get home and see Josh, I. We'd just be angry and not wanna interact with each other because we weren't taking care of ourselves. 

[00:23:22] It was wake up, take care of the dogs, get going with clients, not see each other until six, 7:00 PM make dinner crash, and then wake up and do it all over again. Not have a weekend off. Like it's exhausting. And that is a great way to end your career quickly. And if you want to keep doing this, you have to find ways to prioritize yourself and have these boundaries in place within your business so that you are able to prioritize yourself. 

[00:23:51] And I would love it if. You know these green trainers that are just coming out now, they have those boundaries from the beginning [00:24:00] because if they do that, it's gonna be so much easier to move through their business with these boundaries that they've already had in place. And if you haven't had them in place work to start having them in place, that's fine. 

[00:24:11] And it doesn't need to be a big, huge, everything changes it. It can be small things of just changing. You know, or del finding days when this is, you know, the time of day when I do my email, that is when I check my email, this is when I respond to text messages. This is when I fill out, you know, client, um, check in things. 

[00:24:31] This is when I do this. Having these designated dates and. Windows of when you work on certain things will help you find windows to prioritize yourself. So, um, my, aunt in law Veronica, she always says due dates do instead of due dates, d u e. So that just means, you know, these are the days that I do these things. 

[00:24:54] They're not by, it's just when I'm working on it. And I think that, you know, hello whiteboard, [00:25:00] that's the same concept and doing my whole whiteboard system that I have in place. And if you guys dunno what I'm talking about, go listen to episode three and four, where I break that down. I also have a social media post on, uh, our Instagram where I break that down a little bit more too. 

[00:25:15] but it helps filter down. What my DO day is, and when I'm working on what priority, it filters it down so that I am able to find the windows of, okay, well, I have three projects to work on today. I am not gonna work on 'em for 10 hours. I'm not gonna work on like, just these three chunks. Uh, maybe 30 minutes here, maybe two hours here, hour and a half here. 

[00:25:39] Somewhere in that realm I am able to find time for myself. It's just actually doing it. and I wanna circle back to when I said, uh, going for walks without your dog. I only say that because. I have a young dog and I know what it's like to try and go on a walk and just, you know, be present. Have that downtime, have that [00:26:00] time to decompress. 

[00:26:01] You can't do it when you are. Being aware and hyper-vigilant of the environment, you know, trying to get ready. If your dog sees a trigger being ready with treats, it's you're still on. Trainer brain still is having to turn on. Even if it's not right here in the forefront, it's still slightly on. You are scanning the environment. 

[00:26:21] You are still doing that. That's not relaxing, that's not calming, that's not focusing on you. That is why I am a. Big advocate and going for a walk by yourself. Heck, go for a walk by yourself and listen to this podcast and take that in because you know you can't do that when you are needing to check in with your dog and be aware of what they're doing. 

[00:26:42] What are they eating? What are they sniffing? Oh, they just saw a squirrel in a dog. Like, you know, there's just so many factors that can happen with that. You don't wanna go for a walk by yourself. I love hanging out in my garden. I love being in my garden. I will go sit in my garden in my hammock and just read a book for like 10 [00:27:00] minutes. 

[00:27:00] That is a way to recharge myself. It's, it's just finding little ways to show yourself a little more love. And I know that sounds like, okay, Mandy, yeah, we got it. But really, because when else are you gonna find time to do it? When else are you going to take the time to set yourself up so that you can find ways to move through your business that don't drain you? 

[00:27:20] You won't, until you know you're really burnt out and depressed and you're wondering why you don't love what you do anymore, and you're debating changing your career. I don't want you to get to that point. So, I hope this episode makes sense and that you're able to take a little something away from it and know that I am not judging or belittling, or trying to make you feel less than when it comes to work and selfcare. 

[00:27:48] I have seen so many. Great people get burnt out with this job. Myself included, I loved dog training. I still really love dog training, but I know my [00:28:00] mental health can't take it, and I just, I'm, I lost all passion I had for it because, I did not take care of my mental health, and I don't wanna see other people go down that route because it sucks, especially when it's something you feel so passionate about and you love doing. 

[00:28:15] I want you to keep loving doing it, but you're not going to, if you're not taking care of yourself and giving yourself the time you need to really set your day up the way you need it to. So that, You do feel good about what you do. You do feel like, Hey, you know what? I had a good start to my day and now I do feel better about starting things. 

[00:28:34] It's just finding the time and yeah. I hope you appreciate this episode. I hope that I just don't sound like I am standing on my soapbox telling you guys all the things that you already know. And I hope you find this helpful. 

[00:28:49] And if you found this podcast helpful, you like what we're doing here at the leash mind, leave a comment, subscribe, like tag us on social [00:29:00] media, just give us a little r plus and we'll be back with another episode.