[00:00:07] Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Leash Mind Podcast, mental Health and Dog Training. I'm your host, Mandy Boutelle. So this episode that I am sharing is quite interesting. I, it's the second day of June right now when I'm making this intro and the episode I recorded. I think the beginning of May when I was very burnt out, um, I, I literally was coming out of a burnout funk and so I figured what better way than to record it.
[00:00:38] So there are times when we have months where months, weekdays, whatever it is, where work is just a lot and we have no other choice. Than to just get through it, put our heads down and just power through. And so that was all of May for me. Um, and I feel like now as I'm recording this, uh, [00:01:00] intro, I, I am coming up for air and I am feeling, uh, better about not getting burnt out.
[00:01:08] But there definitely were, peaks and valleys all of May. Um, Where I didn't get fully burned out, but I saw how I was, on the fast track to that if I did not stop and take a break, um, you know, for me, it, it looks like what's the way to describe this?
[00:01:26] I don't wanna call it antecedents, but the way I was setting myself up, you know, I wasn't taking as many breaks. I wasn't. Eating enough meals. I was just sitting at my desk really power through, powering through because I had a lot of projects I needed to get done and deadlines, I got them done. I was kind of just a stressed out mess most of May.
[00:01:47] Um, and when I recorded this, I had gotten very burnt out in the beginning of the month because I just had too many things to do and it was this period where, I kind of looked at everything [00:02:00] that was planned out and I was just like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to do that. I do not have it in me. How am I going to get this done?
[00:02:07] And for once all this work I've been doing on myself, it's clearly paying off because I kind of was able to stop myself in that spiral and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, hang on here. You get all these things done all the time. There isn't anything that big. It's just you have a lot of projects and you have a lot of meetings, so you need to figure out a way to balance that out.
[00:02:31] This is me talking to myself and so, um, and I did. Every single week of May, I had two episode recordings a day. And you gotta think if I am talking to people for at least none of these conversations were shorter than two hours. So, I'm, I'm talking to people for an hour to two hours at a time, two days out of the week, twice a day.
[00:02:52] That's exhausting. And then I would have, you know, some client meetings afterwards that I would have to do. And it's not like I'm not complaining I love [00:03:00] talking. but being able to do all that social interacting and question asking and talking and being on, it's still draining. it can be draining doing all those things, even if it's two days out of the week and then the rest of the week I have to do creative work. So I have to do my social media content. I have to do, you know, email campaigns. I have to make custom logos for dog trainers. And then I also have to make my designs for Woof Cultr.
[00:03:26] And then I have a bunch of other projects going on in the background that I can't talk about right now. having all those things on top of having those two really heavy packed days out of my week every single week. I saw where I could easily get burnt out and crash, and halfway through the month, I hit a period where I was like, if I do not take care of myself right now, I'm going to crash and burn.
[00:03:50] And there were times where I told Josh like, I am over threshold. I am. Things are piling up and I feel like I can't breathe because it's just too much. And [00:04:00] so I've learned that when I do have those really heavy days, even if it's just two days out of the week, they are long and they take a lot out of me.
[00:04:10] Those like that is what I handle on those days. I might do like some very easy admin work or handle emails, but most of the time, like between those windows, I need to take a break. And check in with myself and, and bring my heart rate down and, and come down because, you know, to having these conversations with other dog trainers and getting into the nitty gritty about mental health and, and how we operate our businesses, while it is incredibly relatable and, and these conversations are awesome, you know, I am having to be on and I am having to interact and, and really stay engaged and that is very.
[00:04:47] Hard for my ADHD brain, even when I take my medication. Like it just, it's hard to remember to stay on task. And on that note, I have been thinking I need to make a [00:05:00] clip of just all the times that I lose my train of thought during recordings, cuz it happens every episode. You guys just don't hear it because I edit it out because it will be like five to 10 minutes of.
[00:05:11] My guest and I trying to get back on the train of thought that I lost. I will be mid-sentence and then the thought will just go, and leave. And I'll be like, well, and so but when that happens, you know, we just roll with it and that's fine, but. There are times where the ADHD just takes over and it is hard to stay on track.
[00:05:29] It's hard to be creative, it's hard to make the content, and so that absolutely goes hand in hand with my burnout. And I think for a lot of us that are neuro divergent, we forget that our brains operate differently. And so we might have a tendency to get burned out faster. Because we're just, we wanna do all the things and our brain bounces around to all the things, and then we get exhausted from bouncing around over all the things.
[00:05:53] And then we don't know why we're burnt out. I'll tell you why. I get burnt out. I get burnt out because my brain just wants to do all the things all the time, [00:06:00] and then I bounce around between tasks, but nothing actually gets done. And then the imposter syndrome sets in, and then I doubt everything I do.
[00:06:08] But so aside from all, everything I just said, this episode that I've recorded in May, you'll notice my tone is different. My voice is a little different because I am a lot, I'm quite tired when I filmed this, um, But I wanted you to see and and hear how differently I sound when I'm coming out of my burnout compared to where I am right now.
[00:06:30] So it's, it's interesting and I'm curious what other people are gonna think because it, it's quite relatable. So let's get into that one.
[00:06:40] Hello and welcome back so if you are watching the. Visual YouTube version of this episode, then you will see I look tired. I don't have makeup on. My hair isn't done. I am keeping it very real with [00:07:00] you guys.
[00:07:00] this episode, I just wanted to talk about burnout because this is how I feel and look when I am burnt out. Um, and I don't think. It would be fair if I wasn't talking about burnout while I'm coming out of being burnt out. So I think for us to get started here, I'm gonna talk about how I got burnt out, what led me to being burnt out and what I did.
[00:07:24] When I noticed I was burnt out and what I'm doing for myself to recover from the burnout. Because burnout is, you know, as much as we want to avoid it and you know, try our hardest to not get burnt out and prioritize ourselves, it happens. We're human. we try to do more things than we can and We get exhausted from it, especially for those of us that have a D H D and PM d D.
[00:07:53] And for those of you that may not have a, um, uterus, pm d d stands [00:08:00] for pre-menstrual dysphoria disorder. So if you get bad periods, think of that plus. A heavy amount of, um, depression on top of it. So I typically maybe get two good weeks out of the month and then the other two are hell. Um, and what I mean by hell is that the week before my period, I start noticing that my brain just doesn't wanna cooperate with me.
[00:08:28] I get very emotionally tender and weepy. It gets to the point where I just can't work my, I am in a brain fog. I can't think. Doesn't matter if I take my ADHD medication, it doesn't do anything for me, and I just get stuck. And if I do not prepare and track my cycle really closely, that is the week I get burnt out and crash.
[00:08:51] Um, and that is what has happened to me. but that's about pm d d. So, That is one thing that if you may not know if you have it or if [00:09:00] you are somebody with a uterus and you notice, hey, my brain just doesn't wanna work with me for two weeks out of the month, maybe three weeks outta the month. It, it's definitely worth looking into and speaking with a doctor and psychiatrist to potentially get help for that, which I am doing, but Oh, does it affect my work?
[00:09:20] Oh my gosh. I don't even know if I'm going to share this episode, but I'm recording it just to, just to see if. We get anything useful out of this. it's like no matter what I do, my brain doesn't want to cooperate with me. Doesn't matter.
[00:09:35] I have my whole, for those of you that are watching on YouTube, I have my entire. Work planned out behind me. I have my year quarterly goals, and then that funnels down to my week goals, and then that funnels down into what am I doing today? Doesn't matter when my brain doesn't wanna work with me, and it's just, I can look at that and I get extremely overwhelmed and then I just go cry.
[00:09:59] I hope [00:10:00] I'm not alone in this because it's not. It's not fun to be alone in this, and I'm sure I'm not, but it's exhausting. And for those of you that think I can do all that I am doing and I'm not burnt out, I am very good at not sharing when I'm burnt out because I usually just go crawl onto my couch with my weighted blanket and my heating pad and SOB for like four days.
[00:10:21] Okay, so aside from the ADHD in the pm d d greatly affecting my productivity and my work, aside from those factors, they really do affect my work and how I move through my work and whether I get burned out or not.
[00:10:37] So,
[00:10:38] burnout for me usually comes and I can tell when it's going to happen. And I feel like it's one of those situations where it's like you see it happening and you just wanna be like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. But you can't stop it because you just wanna get going and get ahead with your projects or whatever you're working on.
[00:10:55] And as an entrepreneur, you just wanna keep going and. That this is something with [00:11:00] that hustle culture that just makes us feel like we cannot rest or we're not allowed to rest. Because if we rest, then we're not going to get ahead. And that's just not true because rest helps you get ahead. Rest helps you recharge and reset your brain.
[00:11:16] You need time to settle and process and. Give yourself downtime, focus on your breathing. Do something enjoyable. Take your mind off of work because as I said in the boundaries episode, if you are constantly in that work cycle, that's all you're gonna be thinking about. It's just gonna be constant work and you're never going to relax.
[00:11:40] And that is where I have been the last like. Week or two. Um, it's been rough because, you know, I don't think a lot of people know. All that I do. So I am doing the graphic designs for Woof Cutr. I am making graphic designs for conferences that I partner with and co collaborations I [00:12:00] have. Um, I also do custom logo design for dog professionals through our other business Digi Woof.
[00:12:08] So on top of making graphic designs for my business, I'm also making custom logos for other businesses, which I love doing. and then, you know, I didn't have enough on my plate, so I was like, you know, I'm gonna start a podcast about mental health.
[00:12:21] Great topic, and I love talking about mental health, but it's just, it's one more thing on top of everything else I'm doing. And that's just the work stuff. That's not even life stuff that's not, you know, me having to go to a bunch of doctor's appointments to get more answers about what's going on with my body and things I've been experiencing with my mental health and with my physical body.
[00:12:42] So it's a process and it's overwhelming. And for those of us that have adhd, having those our, our brain, Is so awesome that we can just, we think of everything, but it's also a big downfall for us because we think of everything. And so I know for me, when I [00:13:00] am thinking, okay, I have this business project and this business project, and then I need to take care of my animals, and oh God, I need to clean the house.
[00:13:07] And then, oh wait, I have all these doctor's appointments. Oh wait, I need to pay these bills. Oh shit, I'm behind on this project. And like just little things on top of like, just those crazy thoughts. I already see a D H D I lost my train of thought there, but it's, it's just, it's the thinking of all the business things.
[00:13:27] Going around and then it's all the life things, and then it's all the day-to-day things, and it's just swirling around to the point where, for me, I freeze. I get so overwhelmed by all of this going on that I can't hear and pick apart my thoughts. It's just like a bees in my brain. And then I just get overwhelmed.
[00:13:48] Then I'm, I just start sobbing because I get so frustrated that my brain just doesn't want to work with me. It feels like it's working against me, and it's frustrating as [00:14:00] heck. And I am someone who has been diagnosed with a adhd. I have medication for it, and I fight it most of the time because I. I don't know why I fight it.
[00:14:09] I don't know why. I think like I don't need it because when I do take my ADHD medication, it helps. Um, but it depends on the situation because as I said, I can be having all those feelings and symptoms and my cycle is getting ready to start and I try to take my ADHD medication.
[00:14:28] It doesn't help. and that's the thing, and I've talked to my psychiatrist about this and it's just, it's been a matter of. Running a lot of blood work, finding supplements, changing my diet, remembering to take care of myself, but it's so much remembering to do those things and then still needing to be the business professional that I am and handling things that I have committed to.
[00:14:50] I guess it's, it's a lot, it's overwhelming and I totally get that. and I get questions a lot of how do I manage it and, You know, frankly, I [00:15:00] just, I love what I do and
[00:15:02] what I do is so important to me and valuable to me, but it's also a creative outlet for me. So, doing the graphic designs for wolf culture, doing the custom logos for dog trainers doing the podcast. It's all some type of creative work, and I have picked out these things I do as my job, um, so that I can kind of bounce between the three.
[00:15:25] Now, with that being said, sometimes there are situations where I can't bounce between any of 'em because I'm so overwhelmed, you know, I'll have. Two or three logo clients while I have a graphic design for Wolf culture that's due. And I also have to edit podcast episodes and get those uploaded and make sure that they're uploaded properly.
[00:15:44] But I think all that's just to say that burnout happens. It's not always avoidable, but it can be preventable. and up until now I was getting better at noticing where I was starting to burn out, and I will tell you [00:16:00] exactly how I got here. So I maybe.
[00:16:03] Two weeks a week ago. So, okay, let's rewind. I have very, very attractive for me to divulge this. I have bunions on both of my feet, and it's gotten to the point that it's so painful. I can hardly walk around. I can't go running, I can't do anything active like I was doing. Um,
[00:16:24] Hang on, freeze a second there. So before I'm in the middle of editing this and I caught this really quick and I wanna be accurate with you guys. So after I get back and let you guys resume, um, I'm gonna mention that I was waiting for my surgery. So that means that this episode was actually recorded at the beginning of April, which actually makes much more sense because I was much less burnt out in May.
[00:16:50] I was overworked, but I wasn't burnt out. Because of the burnout that I experienced in April. So interesting plot twist. All right, let's get back to this episode.
[00:16:59] And while I [00:17:00] wait to get surgery on that, it's been very hard because I am a very physically active person.
[00:17:04] I like getting out hiking. I like going out with Fern and going just to the park. And I can't do it. And what sucks is that, Those things that I do to be active really help my mental health because otherwise I'm just in the house all day and that is not good for my mental health.
[00:17:22] Um, one thing that I have been doing for the last six years daily, and it has helped my mental health an immense amount, um, is yoga and. That is the one thing that I have committed to doing every single day for me, because I know it helps my mental state and how I start my day and how I move through my day because I am focusing on my breathing.
[00:17:46] I'm giving myself that, you know, 20 to 40 minutes of time that is just about me, because otherwise I'm running through my day and I'm not taking care of myself. So with that, yoga has always been my thing. But now that I am in [00:18:00] so much pain with my feet, I haven't been able to do it as much. And so I think I stopped doing yoga maybe two weeks ago.
[00:18:08] My body hurts. My mood has been horrendous. I've been an emotional wreck. I have had a hard time getting started and focusing on work. I. Have just had more aches and pains than I usually do. And I know that that's because I haven't done yoga in a couple weeks. My body needs it. And it's been hard because I can't balance on my feet.
[00:18:31] And if you are someone that does yoga, you use your feet a lot, you use your feet and your toes to grip and ground you, and I can't do that. Um, my balance is shot now because, Of how bad my feet are right now. So that's one thing is just sometimes you can't control what happens to you physically. and you need to find other ways to offset to help.
[00:18:53] I didn't do that. Well, I did, but it didn't help to the extent. So I, I couldn't do yoga, so I got [00:19:00] more into meditation and journaling. But you know, when you, you're in a bad mood and you need to physically exert that stress and anger and get it out of you, you know, meditation and journaling can only do so much for me.
[00:19:14] I know that I need to find another way to meet these needs. Maybe it's just a different way I do yoga. Don't do it on my feet as much. I don't know. but yeah, that's, that has definitely affected my mental health. Um, and it's helpful when you can see and notice. That. Oh God, you know, you know what?
[00:19:33] I haven't done this in a week or two and I've been starting to feel this way since that, that's a one way for me to notice, okay, I haven't been taking care of myself and it's showing, um, another thing for me nutrition does matter. Now, I'm not saying you need to, you know, go vegan and go vegetarian, do a huge diet change, but, it does matter what we are putting in our body.
[00:19:56] And I know for me, I am [00:20:00] very sensitive to sugar and uh, white flour. I'm very, very sensitive to it so much that it greatly affects my mood if I have too much. But what happens is I get stressed and I crave sugar and salty things like chips . And so when I give in and like just go crazy and eat.
[00:20:23] So my husband went snowboarding, um, we live in Oregon and so on his way back home, he drove past voodoo donut.
[00:20:33] Bad, bad, bad. And so he got a box of, um, voodoo donut and they were like, oh, we don't want these donuts to go to waste. Here's a bunch of extra ones. And I was just like, I'm not gonna have self-control around that. No, so I ate, i, I, I don't want to admit this, but I ate donuts for two days and the amount of sugar and white flour, I was an emotional [00:21:00] bitchy wreck for two days after that, I had like a two day sugar hangover, and it was awful.
[00:21:05] I was just moody and crying and couldn't control anything, and I felt so out of control. I have done this to myself enough times in the 32 years I have been alive that I have learned, I do that. I have these side effects. I have too much sugar. I have these bad side effects. I have too much sugar. I have these bad, bad side effects.
[00:21:25] It happens enough times that I should know not to do this, but I keep doing it. And that's okay cuz we're human. So when this does happen, I, it takes me a few days, but I usually take, end up taking a step back and being like, okay, what's been going on? Why did I crave that sugar? Okay, let myself have that sugar.
[00:21:46] That's fine. Now how am I gonna recover from this? Because my physical and mental state cannot. Stay like this in order for me to be productive. So it's been hard. It, it's, [00:22:00] it's hard when you see the burnout, I don't wanna call it a path, but you just, you start seeing the burnout happen and you notice you're not taking care of yourself, but you, at least for me, I.
[00:22:18] I start seeing like, oh, hey, I haven't done yoga in a few days and I've checked my phone first thing this morning, which I usually do not do. I, I try not to check social media. First thing I noticed, I spent all last week checking social media before I did my usual morning of reading. That affected how I moved through my day.
[00:22:39] I. Instantly was in a worse mood and was prioritizing work over myself. And when I start doing that, I'm not prioritizing myself. I'm not taking care of myself. And it shows, it shows big time. Um,[00:23:00] it's like day by day I just start feeling like more exhausted and. More agitated and angry to the point that I explode, um, out of anger or emotion and then I hit a wall.
[00:23:16] But here's the thing with me
[00:23:22] when I hit the wall, I don't stop necessarily. Um, I am someone who. Historically will fight rest. Um, even if I'm like, I'm having a bad day. I'm overwhelmed, I'm stressed, I am burnt out, and I'm exhausted, but I'll just move my day around and work on something easier. I'll work on something less pressing.
[00:23:48] I'll still work. I, I need to be productive, but, I'm not gonna give myself that day of rest. Instead, I'm just gonna work on something easier that isn't as important, and I could take [00:24:00] this rest day. But apparently to me, feeling productive is gonna make me feel better. But it doesn't ever, that's happened to me when I released the podcast trailer.
[00:24:11] I released it early because I was supposed to be working on. Some graphic designs for stuff, but you know, some days when you're burnt out, I just, I don't feel as creative. I can't tap into that part of my brain of like, oh, okay, yeah, let's, like, let's draw this whole scenery. And like, I just, I couldn't tap into it, but I could edit and upload and do that kind of stuff.
[00:24:37] So I was like, okay, well I'll still be productive and I'll do this. Did I rest? No. Did I give myself downtime? No. Was I productive? I guess, but not on something that was important. It was something that wasn't as pressing. Um, and did that give me more work? Yes, because then I was checking my social media and checking who was watching the trailer and checking all that stuff, which [00:25:00] is fine, but it wasn't on my schedule to do it.
[00:25:05] And. You know, it's fine if there are some days where you go to your desk and you're just like, I don't have the spoons to work on this project today. Let me move the projects around and work on something that I can handle. And typically that does work for me. But when I get to that burnout point, I need to give myself that.
[00:25:30] I just, when I can just give myself that day off. Take the day off, move work to my typical day off and do that. That's what I usually do if I'm to the point of burnout where I just, I know I'm not gonna, I, I need to not work, but I don't do it that often. I, I usually do some type of work when I try to have my day off and it's not, For what?
[00:25:58] Like I'm not [00:26:00] recharged, I don't feel better. I feel more exhausted. Um, and I think this just goes to say that like you can keep putting stuff out there and keep being productive, but it's gonna come at a cost if you're not filling your own cup and taking care of yourself and. As I am talking about this, I am just getting a headache because I notice I haven't eaten breakfast and it's almost 10 o'clock because I just, I've been too burnt out, too tired to cook, too tired to do anything.
[00:26:34] But yeah, burnout is exhausting. . We like to do all the things even though we don't have the bandwidth to do all the things, so
[00:26:47] yeah.
[00:26:48] And if you found this podcast helpful, you like what we're doing here at the leash mind, leave a comment, subscribe, like tag us on social media, just [00:27:00] give us a little r plus and we'll be back with another episode.