Randomness with Heath & Josh
Randomness is just that! We will talk about it all !!!
randomnesspodcast.com
Randomness with Heath & Josh
Episode 112: Time Has No Patience — Cooper London on Healing, Art & Music
Make sure to send us text message with any questions or comments!
In this powerful episode, Heath and Josh welcome artist and digital creator Cooper London, daughter of actor Jason London and goddaughter of Shannen Doherty. Cooper opens up about her extraordinary yet turbulent life growing up surrounded by Hollywood, the complicated family ties with addiction, and how her "Aunt Shannen" became her refuge from darker experiences.
Cooper shares candidly about her own struggles, from battling ketamine addiction, relapses, and being diagnosed with gastroparesis (a condition tied to past opiate use), to finding herself through digital art and music. She talks about hitting rock bottom and choosing to start outpatient therapy on her own terms, explaining how the ritual of addiction was as gripping as the substances themselves.
The conversation also dives into Cooper’s artistic passions. She discusses collaborating on visual art, her deep love for digital design, and transitioning her music from hip hop rooted in raw personal stories to exploring EDM collaborations. Throughout, she stresses the importance of honesty in her art, saying she only creates from things she’s truly lived.
She also reflects on the grief of losing Shannen Doherty, managing overwhelming support from Shannon’s vast fan base, and how her Aunt’s influence still drives her to keep going despite hardships.
As always, the hosts keep it real, offering friendship and support, while highlighting the complexities of addiction and the courage it takes to keep moving forward. They close the episode by urging anyone struggling to reach out for help through the national helpline.
Where to find Cooper:
Instagram: @CooperLondonLNDN for her art and links to her music on SoundCloud.
If you’re struggling with substance abuse, call the free, confidential SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Thanks for listening! We are on all major podcasts platforms. Please follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Threads and remember to like, follow and share!
This episode is brought to you by.
SPEAKER_01:Intrinsic Design is a residential and commercial building design firm with over 20 years experience working for local architects and builders on various residential and commercial structures throughout Central Texas and beyond. S-I-C design at gmail.com. You can also check them out on Facebook.
SPEAKER_00:They'll talk about anything and to anyone. They're straight out of the streets of Temple, Texas. It's Randomness with Heath and Josh.
SPEAKER_06:All right, we are back. What's going on, Joshua? How you doing? I'm doing well. How are you? I'm good, man. Well, I shouldn't say that. I'm kind of bad. What? Dude, my Jeep got hit again. That's three times. What? Yeah, so I've had the Jeep, what, since March 1st? I got it February 31st, so March. So, what, four months. It's been hit in the back twice, and then I got a new bumper, all that BS. And then a couple of days ago, I come out of the garage, and the tailgate up high has this huge dent in it. And I'm like, what the fuck? You know, what the hell is up with this Jeep? I've never had a vehicle for that short of time and been hit like three times or whatever.
SPEAKER_05:And your driver, you said. Yeah. So what do you think happened? I
SPEAKER_06:don't know. Like, I've tried to figure it out over and over. And what's the thing is, is when I when I park the Jeep, I pull it up to the back to the garage door. Right. So no one could have hit it while it was in. why it was there unless they came up and like hit it with a hammer or something and it wasn't that kind of hit but uh what's really weird is it's no no paint was broken no nothing just this big long like three inch dent right in the freaking crease right so like the worst place because someone trying to repair it can't get it right now you don't have any cameras like facing out well i do but it couldn't have got hit there you know what i mean so i know that was and i did go look but i think it probably had we were at the park Hey, right. They're supposed to get banged up, right? Right. Shut up. No. At least not yet. I've only had it for four months.
SPEAKER_05:You want to keep it a mall cruiser. You don't want to get scratched.
SPEAKER_06:It's a pavement princess, bro. Pavement princess. There
SPEAKER_05:you
SPEAKER_06:go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:But anyway, what's going on with you? Well, as we record this, we're in like Amazon Prime days. Oh, dude. You're so tempting. Went from two days to four days. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I started on the 8th. That was yesterday, so you got to, what, Friday? Yeah, and I'm still shopping. I have all this stuff on my list, and I keep like, no, no, no, no, don't do it. So
SPEAKER_05:what did you buy? Well, good for you. So I bought some, you know, I've got these colored lights in the house, so I bought more of those. more of those because you're obsessed with the lighting. Oh, yeah. I love colored lights. I love how they mix and stuff like that. And then I bought some security cameras. Maybe I should gift those to you for your birthday.
SPEAKER_06:But what are you putting them on? Because you have them on every side of your house, inside, on the whole deal. Where are you putting
SPEAKER_05:it? My chicken coop needs some... We're going to watch the chickens. Yeah, the ones that are out there. Something happened to them, so I need new chicken cams. Something happened to the chickens? The cameras that were out there.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, I was like, you didn't tell me something happened to the chickens. No, they're doing great. All right. Right on. Damn chickens tearing up your yard. Yeah. I had no grass left. Okay. But what did you buy? You said just the lights and something else. You bought more than
SPEAKER_05:that. Security cameras.
SPEAKER_06:That's
SPEAKER_05:it? It's a Hot Wheel track sets.
SPEAKER_06:Hot Wheel tracks.
SPEAKER_05:Nice. And that's a story for another day.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, fair enough. We'll go back to that later. But anyway, all right, so we're episode 112. And as always, almost always, we have another guest, artist and digital creator, Cooper London. What's going on, Cooper? How you doing?
SPEAKER_03:I'm doing good. I'm doing good, guys. How y'all doing?
SPEAKER_06:We're doing good. Good. Welcome. Just real quick, so everybody knows... who Cooper is and how we came upon Cooper is a couple, three or four episodes. We had her dad, Jason London on, right? So everybody knows who Jason is. And, um, through the, through Jason, I was, uh, very blessed to, to reach out to Cooper because she was doing some, this amazing art. And I was like, Ooh, I want to have some of that. And then she told me it was three foot by four foot. And I was like, Ooh, that's really big. So we'll get back to that. Cause I do want to buy that from you. So, um, And then I put out a message saying, hey, we're looking for guests and whatnot. And at the time, we were kind of looking for people that have been struggling with recovery and addiction. And Cooper was so nice to say, hey, I'm here. I'm ready to talk. So we're going to get into that. But let's start at the beginning. Being a kid born into Hollywood, if you will, how How was that? And then when did you figure out as a kid that, oh, my dad and my uncle, they're famous. How did that all
SPEAKER_04:go down
SPEAKER_06:as a kiddo?
SPEAKER_04:I mean, really, it started with my aunt Shannon, to be honest. Shannon Doherty, she was the main vein in my life. And, you know, like having a famous dad and famous mom, I was just born into Hollywood. I was born in Texas, and then within a week later, I was in LA. My dad was shooting movies and everything like that. I was on set. I was just thrown right into it. It was an immense experience. And having the family that I do have is kind of crazy. It's been kind of wild, you know, because it's been controversial. You know what I mean? And like with my whole family, like my dad, my uncle, we all struggle with addiction. And then Shannon battling cancer. It's been a whirlwind for me. Really.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I bet. Like,
SPEAKER_04:heavily so.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. So, we'll just get into it. When did you realize that maybe, I don't know, maybe you or your dad and your uncle were fighting addiction? Did you feel that when you were younger or was that later in life?
SPEAKER_04:Oh, yes. And that's what affected my life a lot of disconnecting myself from my father and my family. I actually didn't speak to my dad for about 11 years and we reconnected like last July for the first time in over a decade. And, you know, for me, you know, I battled addiction very openly. So he battles addiction, but he doesn't like to take accountability. And I will call him out on that. He'll hear this. I don't care. But like, you know, it was me protecting my peace and my sanity, you know, trying to create my own image and define myself and what I wanted to do in life. And I feel like growing up in Hollywood, you know, It was either behind the camera or in front of the camera. And I always gravitated towards the behind the camera because I loved the production of it. I loved the creation, the direction, all the special effects, everything like that. I was more interested in that. So whenever I was on set, you wouldn't find me like... while they were shooting, you'll find me in the costume area, getting makeup put on me, costumes, everything like that. I wanted to be a part of it. And it was a very interesting childhood, because Hollywood is very dark. There are dark parts to it. And, you know, the things that have happened to me in my life, you know, unfortunately, like people talk about what happens in Hollywood. It does happen and it's happened. But for me, I look at myself as like I am the Cooper Lund. There's only one of me. And it's very, to me, it's very interesting because it's like I have Shannon Doherty, I have Jason London.
SPEAKER_07:It's
SPEAKER_04:two different worlds. And I'm the kid, the only kid in this mix. And like growing up with that was very, it was very interesting because... You know, I had my dad's movie stuff and then I had Shannon's charm, you know, everything going on. I felt like torn back and forth because I was living between my parents and Shannon. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Can I stop you? Just real quick before you go any further on that. Can you explain how Shannon came into your life? Like she's your godmother?
SPEAKER_04:She is my godmother. So she's known my mom since they were very, very young. And, you know, when I was born, Shannon was like, I don't want to fucking have kids, but I'm going to have my Cooper.
SPEAKER_07:And
SPEAKER_04:that's what it was. And it was just a beautiful experience. And it was an amazing life that she gave me. Because at the time, my parents, with all their stuff going on, Shannon took me away from the darkness. She brought me into light. and gave me a very good childhood.
SPEAKER_06:Awesome. Yeah. That's really cool that she did that for you and not having her own children. I'm sure she loved every minute of it. But I was going to ask you, so I never asked your dad, who is your mother?
SPEAKER_04:My mom is Charlie Spradling. She's like an 80s scream queen, Playboy centerfold, you know, bomb show. You know, my mom is a powerhouse. I love her to death. We have an amazing relationship. And, you know, I just... I really appreciate the life that I was born into because, like, every aspect of it, like, whether it's my mom, my dad, my Aunt Shay, my Uncle Jeremy, doesn't matter who it is. Like, everyone has their own unique traits and, like, talents. And I'm just... I'm so happy to be able to be like, that's my mom, that's my dad, that's my aunt, you know? Like, it was a beautiful life to be born into. And, you know, of course, everyone knows, you know, my dad had those dark years of addiction and he was on TMZ, you know, getting arrested. And that was a lot for me because, you know, here I am, you know, like, as his child, getting notified by tmz before i even hear it from himself like something happened
SPEAKER_06:you know how old how old were you when that was all going down
SPEAKER_04:so whenever my dad got arrested in scottsdale and like got the shit beat out of him um i was in high school it was like my freshman year um i just moved back to texas and my principals were like huge fans of days confused huge fans and I remember my vice principal coming up to me and saying hey like did you see that your dad's on TMZ today like he got arrested and it's when he got arrested and it was like really bad and where they beat him up and like all this kind of stuff and I was just like fuck man like like damn it
SPEAKER_06:You know, well, not only that you seeing it, but it's everybody else seeing it. Yeah. So it's got to be tough for someone who's a freshman in flipping high school. Yeah. You know, all your peers around you seeing that. And I'm sure there was a lot of positive, but there was that. I don't know that for sure. But then a lot of negative.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:You know, most definitely. Yeah. at that age. How old are you now? I
SPEAKER_04:am 29, about to be 30. Uh, me and my dad, me and my dad, my uncle, we all have the same birthday, November 7th.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. He told me that. Yeah. He told me that. That is pretty cool.
SPEAKER_04:You know,
SPEAKER_06:so anyway, it's, you can continue with your story. I was just trying to put in like perspective of age and where it was at and what time and all that stuff too. And I know that, um, actually, I know I gotta be careful and I don't want to say anything I shouldn't, but I know your uncle, he was on, Celebrity rehab,
SPEAKER_04:right? Yes. That was
SPEAKER_06:kind of put out in front.
SPEAKER_04:So for me, anybody that knows me, I keep shit 100%. I don't hold back. My Uncle Jeremy is an asshole. And you know what, like him and my dad don't get along and they try to they try to put on face, you know, like that, like everything's good. But, you know, Jeremy's had has his own things he has to work out as a person and and like morally, you know, he has to figure it out. And I don't fuck with it. And me bringing my dad back in my life because I had cut him out for over a decade. And it took a lot of trust and it took a lot of therapy. It took a lot of things for me to even talk to my dad again.
SPEAKER_06:Sure. Yeah, that's understandable. I'm going to take it back again, and I apologize for taking it back. No, you're fine. I just want to get everything from you so that it all makes sense and it all comes together. And you said you're 100%, so I'm going to hit you with it. Let's go. Let's go. Growing up in Hollywood and all that, were you partying with all these people and that's where the addiction starts? All that kind of stuff? Or was it later in life?
SPEAKER_04:As a young child, I can only go into so many details just because of how Hollywood is. There was a lot of abuse. There was a lot of dark times involving my dad's side of his friends and the people that he was associated with. And a lot of bad things happened to me. My Aunt Shannon took me from that. And she was like, you're going to live with me, Grammy and Pa. I'm going to put you into the Lycée Francais. You're going to go to this French school. You're going to learn education. You're going to learn karate, fencing, ballet. You're going to get your shit together. You're going to be a good person because we don't want you around that. And I think, you know, addiction really did take up a majority of my life between my parents... And everything like that. And I think, you know, I fell into addiction whenever I was in my early 20s. And I actually like went into law enforcement.
SPEAKER_07:Wow.
SPEAKER_04:And I was very much committed to law enforcement. And then turns out I was like, fuck, I kind of like drugs more. because my life is kind of chaotic and I want to escape it. So I turned to the drugs and then I started making music. I started making art, trying to figure out who I was, trying to disconnect myself from that London name because my dad and my uncle were just like out there doing dumb shit. And I wanted to be able to bring myself back and be like, I'm Cooper. This is me. I might be a hot mess, but at least I'm honest about it. It's been a wild ride for me.
SPEAKER_06:It sounds that way. Yeah. I don't mean to laugh. You hear a lot about stories about what you're saying, but you know, people like Josh and I that are not there, you know, we hear that, but we, we, we only hear that from the news. We only hear about it, but it's coming straight from your mouth. Like you've lived it.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:You know? So it, it validates that. you're like, dude, this real, this shit happens. Like this really happens to people, you know? Yeah. And, um, I, I don't, I definitely don't want to say anything bad about your, your family or anything. Your dad has been extremely nice to us. He's been very open. Good. I hope so. He's been, he's been great. He's been great to us. He really has. Um, but, um, what's your, I don't, I don't know. I don't want to, well, you said you'd whatever. So what was your addiction with? Like, I mean, what drug, what was your drug of choice?
SPEAKER_04:Ketamine.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_04:Ketamine. Yep. Ketamine. Ketamine has been my biggest battle for the last two and a half years. And then I got diagnosed with a fatal disease, gastroparesis with superior misocentric artery syndrome. And that's why I'm like so skinny. Like if you look at old pictures of me, I'm like chunky. I'm like, you know, buff, like whatever. Right. But once this disease hit me, I became really sick. And I basically spend most of my time in the hospital. Like yesterday, I was in the hospital all night.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I saw that. What is that real quick? What are the symptoms and things of that?
SPEAKER_04:So basically, it's like my stomach does not contract anymore. It does not pass food. The muscles don't work. And then I have this artery that's blocking the exit from my stomach to my intestines to pass food through. Wow. So it's been really fucking hard. I spend most of my week in the hospital. And it's been a really hard time because I I was on probation for the last five years for something that I didn't even do. But I always say that probation saved my life. If I wasn't on probation, even though I'm innocent in this situation, if I wasn't put into that position, I'd be dead right now. It
SPEAKER_06:forced you to be... Yes. If you will.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely. And ketamine came into my life when my probation officer actually suggested that I do ketamine therapy. And once that started, it was like I needed more, more, more. And the way that ketamine works is like your tolerance builds up so fast that you basically have to keep going. doing more and more and more. And it got to a point of where I was going through an ounce in a week, which is insane. And I'm very honest and open about it because I know that other people struggle too. And the thing about it is like, and I'm very honest with my dad, I'm very blunt with my dad about his addiction with alcohol and all of his stuff. Um, you got to take accountability. If you're fucking up, you're fucking up. Just own up to it. You know what I mean? Like I'm in a place right now where I've been in an outpatient for almost 11 weeks and I've had like four relapses and I almost OD'd and died like two weeks ago.
SPEAKER_07:goodness
SPEAKER_04:and you know what like i have to bring myself back and be like i'm not that bitch like i i'm cooper i'm stronger than that i i can i can push through this shit and it's you know like july 13th coming up and that's the date of my aunt shannon's passing um And I have her fan base, which is millions of people, like literally millions of people, which is insane to me. You know, coming to me, posting pictures of us and memorials and all this kind of stuff. And I kind of had to take a step back and I made a post. I was just like, I just kind of want everyone to leave me alone a little bit. Like post good memories. But like stop tagging me in every single post because like my algorithm just becomes like just Shannon.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And then Julian just passed, you know, this this past week and and her and Julian were together for a bit. And it was probably one of the most beautiful relationships that I ever seen her in. He was one of the most amazing human beings that I had ever encountered. And for both of them to have passed from cancer, it's a very hard-hitting thing. And openly, I'm in an outpatient program right now for my addiction and for my mental health. And this week is actually grief week. Grief and loss. And I'm like, oh, man. Like this is not the right week to be talking about this because it's just bad timing. But at the same time, I have to be open about it. I have to, I have to be honest about it. And, you know, like I, I feel myself today was a hard day and, you know, like, I texted you earlier. I told you I was having a hard day. And these days happen. You know what I mean? For sure. But it's my choice whether I decide to dive back into addiction or I can change my day by cleaning my house or going up to the mountains or going to get some good food. There's other options.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Do
SPEAKER_06:some art.
SPEAKER_04:And I'm going to be doing that tonight, too. Because you're
SPEAKER_06:very amazing at it. We'll get to that later.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And I love the fact that you guys love my art. And I put a lot of work into it. And I put a lot of time into it. And digital art has been something that I've been in love with since high school. And... art itself you know like like the acting thing like obviously was thrown in my face like from the day i was born it was like you're on movie sets you're you're around all these people in front of camera behind camera whatever it is and i never felt that drive to to want to go into acting because i see the damage that it does
SPEAKER_06:yeah right
SPEAKER_04:And people don't realize that, you know, a whole lot. And again, I'm a very blunt person. And when it comes to like my relationship with my dad, like, unfortunately, I can't just text and call Shannon anymore. She's always with me. But when it comes to my dad, like, you know, Dazed and Confused is like what people really know him from. Noah's ran a Pink Floyd. I got... Let me see right here. I got his Funko.
SPEAKER_06:That's awesome.
SPEAKER_04:It's weird having my dad as a Funko, but I grew up also having... I grew up with my Aunt Shannon being Barbies and all these dolls and everything like that. And it's... kind of comforting to me knowing that I have my family immoralized in Hollywood I can watch my Aunt Shannon from Little House on the Prairie girls just want to have fun growing up to all you know what I mean like growing up through her entire life I can watch those things and still be with my Aunt Shay because I was on set for 90% of those things And I can relive those memories. And like with my dad, you know, he was kind of a fucking asshole. And he knows this. He knows this. When he was in his active addiction, he was not a good person. Jeremy was not a good person. There were not people that I wanted to be around, that I needed to be around. And that's why Shannon took me away and was like, you're my kid. I'm going to... raise you the right way and protect you and so coming back into that relationship with my father i feel like it's been it's not like walking on eggshells but it's also like you have to build my trust because you broke you you broke it for the last 13 years you know what i mean right And me, myself, I'm dealing with my own addictions. Ketamine took over my life for the last two and a half years. And I'm in and out of the hospital. I was in the hospital yesterday, day before yesterday, five days last week. It's an ongoing thing with my health. And it's very scary.
SPEAKER_02:This episode is brought to you by...
SPEAKER_06:Looking to escape the ordinary and explore the extraordinary? Meet Jani Kovacevic, your personal luxury travel expert. Whether you're craving an epic expedition to the Arctic, a sun-soaked, all-inclusive getaway, or a once-in-a-lifetime trip with the whole family, Jani curates every detail for a seamless, unforgettable experience.
SPEAKER_01:From bucket list adventures to multi-generational family vacations, she tailors travel to your pace, your passions, and your people, with luxury every step of the way. Don't
SPEAKER_06:just travel. Explore in style. Discover with ease and make memories that last forever.
SPEAKER_01:Call 254-721-2000 or visit TravelByJannie.com and start planning your dream escape today.
SPEAKER_06:I'm going to ask you a couple of questions just because we're, we're ignorant to it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. First of all, your, your, your illness and whatever, what do they do to treat you that you, I mean, that you're having to go back all the time is there is no real treatment for it except for pain
SPEAKER_04:or killers or what? There is no cure for gastroparesis.
SPEAKER_05:Okay. Was that a result of drug use? Do you know? Yes.
SPEAKER_04:It was. And so I was addicted to opiates, lean cough syrup. I sit that for about 13 years.
SPEAKER_07:Wow.
SPEAKER_04:And it was it was actually really weird how it onset because, you know, I'm grieving the loss of my aunt, but I'm also grieving the loss of my relationship. with the person that I was with for the last five years. And they left pretty suddenly. And then Shannon died. And then I just kind of fell into that deep addiction. Right. And was just very disassociated with my life. And it became... Such a problem where I was like calling my mom and I was like, look, I need help. Like I need help. And I had already gone to rehab in like 2017. I was there for like a year and a half. Russell Brand actually paid for most of my treatment. And unfortunately, what's going on in the news with him is very unfortunate because he's one of my best friends. And then seeing all the stuff that's come up has raised a lot of eyebrows, you know.
SPEAKER_06:What's your connection with him? How is that?
SPEAKER_04:He's known me since I was 12 years old.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. Just through Hollywood stuff. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And he's just been there for me. And whenever I fell into a really bad Xanax addiction, I ended up going to rehab in Texas. And then I transferred to LA and he paid for like my LA stuff. He paid for my sober living. Him and Steve-O both. Oh,
SPEAKER_07:wow.
SPEAKER_04:And two really solid connections. And it's unfortunate with the charges that Russell has right now. It's scary for me because I know Russell as my best friend and this gigantic teddy bear of a loving person who's taken care of me for years. And then you see these charges come on and all this stuff come back from his past and i know his past is
SPEAKER_07:dark
SPEAKER_04:and it's a hard thing because it's like i want to talk to him i want to be able to communicate but it's like at the same time i have to take a step back because when those things are being presented to the world like i don't want to be associated with that
SPEAKER_06:sure yeah
SPEAKER_04:yeah
SPEAKER_06:Right on.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. I'm going to ask you another really stupid question. And the reason it's a stupid question, it's not really stupid. It's because, so I don't have an addictive, whatever you want to go like, I've never been addicted to anything except for obviously food. Cause I'm a fat ass, but like, you know, what is the feeling of addiction? Meaning I've got to have it.
SPEAKER_04:You know, it's crazy. It's, it's, it's, More of a habit. Like I was talking about this in outpatient the other day. For me with ketamine, like I got addicted to the ketamine, but then it became more of the addiction of like the process of doing it. That became more addictive. That led me to a deeper addiction. Okay.
SPEAKER_07:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_04:Because like, there's a process to like breaking it down, doing it, all that kind of stuff. And it was, it was the act of like the sniff. It was the act of, of busting it down. It was, that's what I was addicted to. Okay. And so I just, um, I kind of had to pump the brakes and, and be like, you know, I need some extra help. And for the first time in my life, I threw myself into an outpatient program without my family telling me I needed to, without anyone telling me, like, you're going into this program, you're going to do this, or A, B, and C is going to happen. It was me hitting rock bottom, being like, I need help.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. Well, that's awesome because I think that's the biggest step with addiction is that not knowing that you need the help and you stop and do and actually do it on your own. Most
SPEAKER_04:definitely.
SPEAKER_06:Right on. Okay. Yeah, that's awesome. Real quick. What does your neck tattoo say?
SPEAKER_04:My next tattoo says, time has no patience.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, I was trying to make that out.
SPEAKER_04:It's from a song called Dylan by Diaz. It reminds me of my grandfather and Shannon. And Shannon hated tattoos, okay? Growing up with her, it was very like... When it came to fashion, she was A1. When it came to public image, everything like that, it had to be a very specific way. And then once I got into high school and discovering myself, discovering my sexuality, what I liked, what I wanted to look like, what I wanted to do... it caused a bit of a tiff there because she's very conservative. She was very like private, you know, like things had to be a certain way. And I think it applies to, you know, a lot of my family as well, like with my mom and everything like that. My mom's very like Beverly Hills, very like, hoity-toity like bougie and classy and here I am with like face tattoos and like I'm covered in like ink you know what I mean and I'm being myself and it kind of made me like the black sheep of the family and on my knuckles I have lone wolf tattooed on it because that's how I've felt all these years because it's like once I finally was like, fuck you, like you're not going to tell me how I'm going to live my life, how I'm going to dress, how I'm going to act, all that kind of stuff. I wanted to be me. And once I became like authentically me, you know, I had a really good friend group. I've lost a lot of friends in addiction. I've lost a lot of people through this process. But the friends that have been here, I've held for 15, 20 years. And I'm so thankful for that. And with my music, my art, the people that are around me now, they understand I have lapses. I'm not fully sober. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've been in this program for, like I said, 10 weeks, but I've had relapses. And this coming week, you know, with July 13th coming up, being Shannon's death, like it's going to be a hard one for me. It's going to be a battle between me and myself. And, you know, I got to stay strong through it. If I fuck up, I fuck up. But you know what? I'm in this program. I have support. My goal is to just get all my health stuff done here in Colorado and then be able to move back to Texas with my family. And so I'm doing everything that I possibly can to get myself to that point of being able to go back home and to be healthy. And like... You know, whenever they told me about the gastroparesis and the superior mystic syndrome, they told me, you know, it is fatal. You know, I could be dead by 40. Yikes. And that's something that I have to face. And you know what? Death is something that happens in my life far too often. And it's something that I've accepted. And I always tell people, I don't know if you've seen on my Facebook post, but I love to spend time in cemeteries. I'll go smoke a blunt in a cemetery and just sit there at four o'clock in the morning. And I feel more welcome there than I do in a crowd of people.
SPEAKER_07:Wow.
SPEAKER_04:Because I feel like people here in Colorado are very judgmental. They're very... It's different out here. And I was on probation for the last five years. I just got off. And now I'm like, I have to get my health together. And then I can go home.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, yeah. Well, you use that as motivation to... stay off the ketamine you're you know you know what i mean yeah like use the the health part you know to help that pick up the pin yeah it's not here i am talking in here i don't even have you know an addition but at the same time it's like you know josh will tell you this uh about me like i and i was texting with you earlier i was like screw the podcast i'll talk to you yeah you know I, that's the type of person I am. I think Josh can probably, I will talk to anybody at any time if they have a problem, if they're whatever. So I don't want, I'm not trying to broadcast that on the podcast to make me look good. That's how I am.
SPEAKER_04:No, absolutely.
SPEAKER_06:But I mean, if, if any time something you can literally text me and I live and die by the phone, it's always in my hand because of what I do. Yeah. So, I'm there for you. And I've told your dad that, too. And, you know, we've we've we've texted a few times about things that, you know, I wouldn't expect him to text me about. And, you know, whatever. But anyway, we'll we'll go. We can go back and back to what we're saying. But he's a great friend. I try. I try. I try. I don't take it lightly to be my friend. Let's just put it that way. I'm very fierce. I very much, when this is over and we don't talk, you'd be like, okay, I don't ever hear from that guy again. Once a week, twice a month, I'm going to text you and say, you doing all right? How's it going? And that's with everybody. That's just the way I am. Anyway, let's go back. So your art.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_06:So you said you're more of the digital creative stuff, but I see a lot of stuff behind you. Is that your art too? Yes. Or is that something else?
SPEAKER_04:Yes. So this is collaborations with me and my friend Nico, known as Hasco. And those were years ago, like 2020, 2021, things like that. And I want to get back into it. But digital art has taken my life over, which I really love. You know, digital painting, everything like that. It's, you know, graphic design, all of those things is what I was raised on.
SPEAKER_07:Right.
SPEAKER_04:And so that's kind of like what I prefer. It makes me happy. And then I make music as well.
SPEAKER_06:Well, that's the other thing I was going to ask you is I know about your art and stuff, but the music I didn't know about, what do you do musically?
SPEAKER_04:Um, so I, I primarily make hip hop, but, um, I'm transferring over into EDM. I have a lot of amazing artists that I'm working with. Um, one of them being Decadon. Um, he's a huge EDM artist. He's one of my best friends. Donnie is like one of the loves of my life. And, um, you know, we're going to be creating some amazing music coming up. And, you know, I get to express myself in that way. And I just, I love being able to perform for people and just give them my energy and put myself out there. But like with my hip hop stuff, it was a lot about my addiction and like my life with my father and the abuse that happened. And things that people can relate to. And that's what I make my music for. I have a couple of those songs that are like, you know, throw it up in the club, shake your ass, you know, type thing. But like the real shit that I make is very much of the life that I've lived. I don't rap about shit that I haven't experienced. I don't talk about shit that I have not gone through. And my... mission is to create music that people can listen to and be like, damn, like, damn, I feel that.
SPEAKER_07:Right on. All
SPEAKER_04:right. You know, and so that's been the big thing. And my dad has been he has a movie coming up. He's going to be going to Poland in August. Right now, he's kind of unavailable. He's dealing with some personal stuff I'm not going to talk about, but he's handling himself well right now, and I value that because otherwise, if he wasn't handling it that well, he wouldn't be in my life. You have to earn a spot in my life with trust and with honesty and love and understanding.
SPEAKER_06:Right on. Are you doing anything with your music and art where someone can go hear it or buy it or anything?
SPEAKER_04:I think on my Instagram, or I might have to repost it, there should be my SoundCloud link. But right now I'm kind of in the middle of like building an album. Like my first album that I'm coming out with. That's been a long process because I keep going through all of these different things and it's been delayed. But it also adds to what I can add to my music, my art, everything like that. It's a journey. It's, it doesn't, it doesn't just happen overnight.
SPEAKER_06:Right. Yeah. It's a hell of a journey. Yeah,
SPEAKER_04:absolutely.
SPEAKER_06:Well, just kind of rounding it out here. So yeah, Let's tell us again where we can go to get your music at your Instagram handle or whatever that. And if there is somewhere that we can look and see your art, I'm really focusing on that because I really like it.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you.
SPEAKER_06:Thank you. And I'll talk to you more after we're done with this. But anyway, is there somewhere where people can go see that or do they just need to follow you on Instagram?
SPEAKER_04:Just follow me on Instagram and I'll have everything posted. I'll double check it tonight. You know, make sure my SoundCloud links up there and everything like that. Like the art that I do, I'm going to be posting on my Instagram. And, you know, you have me on Facebook as well. And people can follow me on there. Cooper London.
SPEAKER_06:What's your Instagram handle?
SPEAKER_04:It's Cooper London LNDN.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:And then LNDN is my artist name.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. All right. There, that's what we needed. So everybody knows. Well, Thank you so much for coming on and talking with us. Of course. You opened up a lot, and that's great or whatever. I just didn't want to push you to do anything, and I didn't have to. You just told your story. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I'm an open book. I'm an open book when it comes to this kind of stuff. I feel like people need to hear the real shit. Instead of somebody like trying to like mask, like, oh, I'm, I'm this perfect person and life is great and everything's going the right way. Like, no, the fuck it's not,
SPEAKER_06:you know? Well, they need to know that you're working a program and it's not perfect. No. Yeah. And you're not perfect when it comes to that program. Like you said, you've had some setbacks, but you're still working the program. That's part of the whole deal. You have to continue to work it. It's hard for someone like myself to understand it because I don't have that. But when I talk to someone like you, that's why I was asking what I was saying, dumb questions, is because I want to know. Because I want to be able to be there for you or anybody else around me that has that problem and know how they're feeling to the best I can in order to be able to speak to them about it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And addiction is so like complicated. You know what I mean? Because it's like, you know, you have the battle between yourself and then you have the battle between, you know, the drugs. And it takes time, right? It's not something that happens overnight. It's not something that I can just be like, yeah, I'm done with ketamine today. We're done. No, that's not how it works. It's something that's like, I'm grieving the loss of my aunt. I'm grieving the loss of my relationship, which... Like, the person I was with, Elise, you know, I thought I was going to be with her forever. I thought we were going to spend the rest of our days together. Like, I have her name tattooed right here on my hand. Like, it is something that I live with every single day. But my addiction and all those things caused her to leave because she couldn't live in that kind of environment. And I understand. And it kills me every day because— I can't get that back. And, you know, recently, you know, I've made some new connections with people. I've met some amazing people. And, you know, I'm just building off of that.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. Yeah. That's all you can do, right?
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. Well, stay strong. We're here for you.
SPEAKER_04:I appreciate you guys so much. And you know, like this life that I've lived has been so interesting and, you know, Shannon's fans want to hear stories all the time, you know, about my childhood and everything like that. Like, cause you know, like she, she really was one of the most famous people in the world. And it's so, it's so interesting. And like, to see because you know when she was alive like i saw the following that she had i saw the support that she had and i was like oh my god like millions and millions of people are just like here for you and then when she was gone it was like all those people were like well let's turn to cooper And be there for her and like, you know, try to support her. And, you know, people do it in the right ways and the wrong ways. And, you know, I'm just trying to accept the love that's been given to me. And, you know, it's something that it's a little bit harder every day. But I'm coping with it. Because I know that Shannon would kick my fucking ass if I just crashed out, you know? Yeah,
SPEAKER_06:yeah. All right. So just real quick before we close it down here, I do want to say a couple things. If you're struggling with addiction, please call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. They have a helpline. It's a free confidential line. It's 1-800-662-HELP. That's 1-800-662-4357. It's in Spanish and English. So get out there and get some help. If you need the help, there's the number. Thank you again for hanging out with us. Everybody, of course, you can go to randomnesspodcast.com to check everything out. And yeah, we'll catch everybody next time. Thank you so much. Thank you. We're gone.
