The Secret to Healthy Communication Nobody Talks About | Ep. 115

What happens when your biggest disagreements become your biggest breakthroughs?

In this episode of Cup Of Conversation, Coco & Tee get completely honest about the real conversations that happen behind the scenes of building a successful podcast, maintaining a healthy friendship, and growing through uncomfortable moments.

From setting boundaries in business to learning how to communicate without defensiveness, this episode is an unfiltered look at what it actually takes to build trust, accountability, and emotional maturity.

We open up about:
✨ The biggest arguments we've had as business partners
✨ Why vulnerability is harder than people think
✨ Learning to communicate instead of assuming
✨ Setting healthy boundaries in friendships and business
✨ How emotional intelligence changes relationships
✨ Healing through accountability instead of blame
✨ Navigating conflict without ending the relationship
✨ Building a podcast while protecting our friendship
✨ Why social media only shows part of the story
✨ The lessons we've learned from going viral

If you've ever struggled with communication, friendships, entrepreneurship, conflict resolution, or balancing business with personal relationships, this conversation is for you.

💬 We'd love to hear from you!

Have you ever had to rebuild trust with a friend or business partner?
What's one communication lesson you've had to learn the hard way?

Drop your thoughts in the comments below!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

If you're getting cheated on in 2026, bitch, step your cookies up. Cause who who getting cheated on these days?

SPEAKER_00 0:06

That's okay. Like, stop trying to act like y'all don't do normal shit. Like, that's what I don't like about the internet. You got on fucking chat GPT, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

I don't think he is freestyle no more. That's what's wrong with the world.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

If he do, what the fuck? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

If you don't explain, you know what I'm gonna do. Soon.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Please. Yeah. Don't be off.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Girls, I had to tell her just recently, stay in your lane. Stay in your lane. If I'm social media, then stay in your lane.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Look, but I didn't have no boundaries for myself at that point. I was just thinking, whatever it needs, I gotta do. First of all, this bitch ain't making no motherfucking money.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

But it's hard to be alive.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

And you know I ain't got no keys. So I'm working in the podcast. That is my life.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Right.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

This is my baby.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Right.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

So, like your mama said, that's T Baby, girl.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

This is my niece. This is my niece.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

What's up, sippers, and welcome back to another cup of conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Well, we have conversations worth having. I'm your girl, T. And I'm your girl, Co the Not you, I'm Coco.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

And welcome back to another episode. I don't know what episode this is.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I don't know either, but I just realized that I really do wish I probably could have been a rapper in my other life.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

I see you be trying to throw some freestyles in the free.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

I'll be wanting to freestyle, but I don't really know how. Like, but I feel like I know enough A, B, C, D, E. I know enough rhyming words that I can do.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

I don't think I can freestyle sober. I do good when I'm freestyling.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

And that's what I told Carrie. I know we all off subject, but real quick, that's what I had told Carrie, he was like, uh, you don't know nothing about freestyle. I was like, well, you must didn't freestyle in college. Like when you got everybody got high in a green box in the green.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Yeah, you go around and get your freestyle on. It don't matter who you is. You getting in that freestyle.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

What a time to be alive.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Girl, I don't think kids freestyle no more. That's what's wrong with the world.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Yeah, they don't.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

But um, so we're gonna start this episode off just really talking about us. Like, who else is it about? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

T always want to get in her feelings and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Come on. No, but this was an episode that I kind of curated because one, because of like how social media is taking off for us. Okay. Our consistency is starting to pay off. Correct. We got a couple of viral videos out there, y'all. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out on Instagram and TikTok. Um, so that's what I want to start with. Uh, with our how you feeling, how you dealing. How you feeling about our new growth on social media? Overdue.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

No, I'm just kidding. No, I think that is it shows that this is what I truly feel, and I've said this to myself. I said that it feels like when you when you get into something, it shows why you can't just get into get into something without doing your research and without creating a system, no matter what business that you're doing. And I feel like our success would have came a lot sooner if the system that we sat down and we created and we that we figured out who was our audience, who we talking to, what are we talking about, and we just wasn't up here with two mics from the beginning. I feel like it would have come a lot sooner. But that just showed me that when you do it one way versus another way, it kind of gives you something to compare it to. Yeah. And it showed that having that understanding of the why for real, for real, it matters.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

And you, it's just one of those things like, I feel like every business takes a little while to get its foot in. And it's one of those things like you don't know what you don't know. Yeah. You know that this is the business you want to do. You can do as much studying as you want to. I was talking to Taya about this yesterday when we was at lunch. Um, you can do as much studying as you want to, but when you get in the field and a problem arise that wasn't a part of your studies, then that's just, you gotta know how to move that. But I do agree with if we had the like basis. We didn't know, I don't think we should have, we was gonna know to have like, oh, this is how you do your reels, this is how you catch audience attention, blah, blah, blah. But if we would have at least knew who we were talking to and our focal point at the beginning, yeah, we would have, like you said, it'd have popped off a lot sooner.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

So the spiel of the week, I want to discuss um two things uh about our episodes that we've been doing. So if you find you something that you wanted to go back and I know personally, me, I wanna start, I'll start with me and let you think.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

I got one too.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

Um that real, that uh I said men are more or less emotionally intelligent than women. I give it to y'all, okay? Stop tagging me in the comments. Y'all got it. Men um, they do have a sense of emotionally intelligence. I feel like a pink meeting. And I oh, they loved you on that one.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

I know.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

They was protect her at all costs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

And then they told me down on the other one. I'm like, man, y'all don't know what they're doing. But you know who they want to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

But um, I think I didn't think of emotional intelligence in a way as emotion. Yeah, that, and how some people could use it for good or bad. You know what I'm saying? It's not you recognize it when people are using it for good, but you don't call that intelligence when people are using it for bad. Like when people are manipulating. Right. Like, you gotta have some kind of emotional intelligence to know, to say, baby, I really just or start crying when a bitch catch you cheating. Yeah. You know what I mean? You have to, you gotta know something about something. Yeah. So I didn't think about it that way. So y'all do got a little bit, because I know it's some niggas that's out there, like we said, sometimes I wish they would just cheat. Cause the ones that's cheat, cheating, yeah, they they gonna come with the emotionals. Yeah. They're gonna come with the support. They're gonna, but the kind of issues that we have been talking about in our relationship, that's totally different. We talking about communication and shit like that. Ain't no cheating. Yeah. And I I thought about this yesterday. If you're getting cheated on in 2026, bitch, step your cookies up. Cause who who getting cheated on these days?

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Why do you say that?

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Because I just, I feel like that's such a like high school issue. Well, these niggas is high school. I wouldn't be dating nobody then. I'd be fucking myself. Like, what are we talking about? I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

I think it comes a time to where it's it's I feel like for women, and I'm and I could be wrong, y'all can shoot me if I'm wrong, but for yeah, and I think for women, sometimes it comes a point to where it's like, if this is the cards that we're dealt, like I almost rather like deal with the cheating and just have somebody. Because I can I can I know that is, and it's not a really good way of looking at things, but I feel like I can't speak from this place because I've always in some way, f form or fashion, had somebody, but I can see like how she could get lonely, like you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 6:45

And you be willing to like kind of act like you don't see certain shit, or you can Yeah, but then why at that point don't you reevaluate the type of men you like? Because there are men out there that don't cheat or don't, but you know, I don't know. I don't think it's a lie. We look look at them as lame, you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

That's that's that too. But even the label ones, what I'm trying to do. Yeah, they're starting to cheat too. I'm gonna say, even the labeles, they be crashing out too. Like they be having their own form of nigga, you got me fucked up. Like, so you know, you have to, I I I don't know, but I think equally right now, in a sense, I think equally men and women are in a messed up place right now. Like, I don't even think it's like, you know, back in the day we was like, oh, niggas cheat, niggas cheat, niggas cheat, women be older than woman, woe woe her. But I feel like nowadays, it's on both sides, really. Either they want either the females they want you to provide that, yeah, they be your users, or they just as um unattached and uh emotionally unintelligent as men. Like I feel like it kind of both right now. We in a scary time right now.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Yeah, I agree. So, what's your throwback that you wanted to go back to?

SPEAKER_00 7:51

I want to say that I'm not leaving the house without telling my husband that I'm about to go.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Please clear that up.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Like, I'm telling, I would what I meant was, or what I was trying to say, and I kind of did say that too. I guess y'all didn't really all the way watch the clip. But what I was saying was, I don't ask him before I leave to watch our kid. Like, hey, I hey, before can I, before can I go to the store? Can you watch? Yes. I'm not doing that. Because like, literally, if my husband going somewhere, he's gonna be like, hey, baby, I'm going to such and such Tuesday or whatever, or I'm going out tonight. He's not gonna say, can you watch Kari? It's understood that if I'm going somewhere, you're not, I'm watching. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

That was the whole point of that. I understood what you were saying. Like, thank you. And you don't have to say every time you go out. Well, when you run out the door, you I'm going to the store real quick. You don't have to add that little last part to it.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

And sometimes I run out the door and I don't say anything. Like, if my husband focused on whatever he's doing, he'll call me and be like, You left, I'll be like, Yeah, I just went to the store real quick. Like, that's okay. Like, stop trying to act like y'all don't do normal shit. Like, that's what I don't like about the internet.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Social media, they do be acting like, and then if you, like Dennis said, if you just sit down and think of all your decisions in a day, how half of the shit you're critiquing people with online, you ain't doing.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

You would've let slides. Or you have done, and you was like, didn't think twice about it.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah, you got more balls behind the when you're typing. You don't even step up to the people in your life like that. Exactly, exactly. But yeah, I got what you meant. Yeah. All right, so to our main topic, um, I wanted to um, we've been talking about like vulnerabil, vulnerable um communication and being a little more softer so we can be heard. So I figured practice makes perfect. And I um truly wanted to say that I practice most of my healing and communication work on you. Like, it's it, I don't know why I get more frustrated if I'm trying to do it with my man versus when I'm trying to like.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

I was just about to say, don't use it on me. Do it on a nigga that really needs it.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

I don't need your No, but the fact that you do your work too is is easier reciprocated and it's more like You can see how it works. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If somebody, now I can it, I should probably be practicing on somebody that ain't doing the work, so I know how to control what I could control. But I I you see the text messages, I can't control it right now. I'm still spazzing out. Like I'm I'm trying. I'm trying.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

It be like that sometime, though. Sometimes you could go a good, you could you go on a good run. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

And then some days it's just like, sorry, you know, I've been, I should have did this like that, you know. Just doing everything you should do. But then one of them days where they push back too hard, and you trying to get somebody who is not emotionally like trying to uh search that portion of they they selves. Right. And they get the ar like it's just they take you there sometimes. That's that's the point of this, though. You gotta learn not to let people take you there.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Take you there, yeah. That's that.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

So um, for this week's main topic, we're gonna use ourselves as like the muse to practice vulnerability.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

So this is gonna be funny. All right. So we're just gonna do like the first part of this is called the mirror. So I'm gonna ask you these questions, and then I'm gonna give you my phone so you can ask me the questions of the second part, okay?

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Okay. All right. I literally looked at the first question and then closed the screen. I said, I'm not doing this. And you didn't even text me back. That's why when you asked me on the phone, like, did you see my topic? I was like, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

She ain't shit. Anyways, you're gonna practice this phone a bit. So you can use it in your house too.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

All right, so when was the last time you were frustrated at me? And what happened?

SPEAKER_00 11:34

The last time I was frustrated with you, I did see this question, so I got an answer for this one. I don't have no answer for the next one. But the last time was the uh C white situation.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Oh I was like, I heard it in your tone and everything.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

I was like, what you when you said, well, I don't want him to stop. If he do, what the fuck? Okay. I was like, why does that matter? Why does that matter to you? Like, this is we're we're big girls in this shit. Hey, either you gonna respond or not. Like, what the fuck? Like, I don't know. I that just frustrated me. I I I I I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

In my defense, in your mind, I mean, in my mind, oh, I ain't supposed to say my my side.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

No, I know, I know I got something to say too, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

What's I was gonna say, in my mind, I thought since you suggested this that you really wanted to push for this guess, and I'm like, all right, so what we gonna do to make it happen? Yeah and and I don't want to do too much back and forth to make it happen because this is somebody that we had reached out to and really didn't even expect to hear back from. So we really ain't have it planned out to what we was gonna do if he did reach back.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

So I for me, I I think, yeah, I'm all for if Beyonce wanna come on our set. Like, I'm all for it, because you know that's somebody that I want. Poor my anybody that I really want to have come on my set. But me, for me, and I and I and I'll answer the other part because I think it's a it's a business part of me that's like, yeah, I want you, but at the end of the day, I'm not gonna fuck myself in a process. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, if it don't happen, it's always I look at everything as a sign, it's a part of God's plan. And anytime in business, and my husband taught me this, he would be so proud of me because I used to be the type of person kind of like that. And so that's what it kind of gave me. I'm trying to go for whatever. Like, I don't want to make the man, I don't want them to think like, and I get that's what you was saying, like in so many words. But for me, it's like if I say what I really want to say, I don't want to leave the deal and not have said, like, damn, like, yeah, you get what I'm saying? Yeah, and then so I've done that so much in my business to the point to where I had to tell myself, like, yeah, Carrie be right about that type of shit. Like, you everything is a deal, especially if you tell me your price is, oh, I'll do it for like five or ten dollars. Well, bitch, you will take four because you don't know what your price is.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

And and I and I'm gonna always push the issue, and I'm not gonna lie. I used to, that used to burn me up. My husband is gonna negotiate everything. And that burns me up sometime. But in a sense, when I see him get what he wants out of it, I be like, oh. And then, like he said, what they gonna do, Crystal, whoop me. Like, uh, the worst they can say is no. And so that's how I always look at stuff now. So for me, I was like, the fuck we worry about him not replying for fuck him. We need us just as much as we need. Like, that's how I'm talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

You know, if Walmart and H E B sitting down to do a collaboration, they not worried about who's gonna hurt who feelings and who's gonna, you know. But I didn't think about it like that. And negotiating, I hate that part of business. I really do. Yeah. And that whole what's your budget question, that shit makes my ass cleanse up. Yeah, no, for real. Because what's my budget?

SPEAKER_00 14:33

No, what is your price? And that's what nowadays they used, this I'm telling you, T. I understood it from uh like sitting back after it all happened. I understood where you were coming from so good because like I was that person. And what's your budget is now my favorite question. Because bitch, my budget is $100. Don't ask that shit, no. I'm gonna drop it to the flow. Exactly. Because it should be a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Because I'm gonna get you to say either your praise. Yes, yes. Yeah, like we're not gonna do this back and forth.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

You know what? Nine times out of ten, it always gives you the price. Because they be like, oh, well, nah, I start off at. Well, why didn't you just say that then?

SPEAKER_01 15:08

So God damn. I don't like that question. I told you me and Bubba guy, but we had a whole back and forth about that question at one time. Um, I forgot what the oh, the live show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The live show. Girl, I just don't like that question.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

So, what was the last time I frustrated you?

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Um probably that same instance, because I was just like, I'm thinking about it. And then what's crazy is after I told you, well, I done did all the footwork whole time, that shit wasn't really Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Oh my God. And I'm gonna be honest, I told Krie this shit. I said, then she talked about I done done all the work. You gotta fucking chat GPT, bitch. What the fuck is you talking about? I'm finna fall like this chip.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

I got really like self-reflection, really the mirror. That's why this is called the mirror. Because I really stood there and said, Tia, what the fuck did you do? You went back and forth with some emails, you talked on the phone, you chat GPT, yeah. Tia, please. Yeah, don't see y'all. That was and then so I just sat back and was like, yeah, it wasn't that, it wasn't even there. It wasn't even there to do all that. I should have said, and that was a moment in the in the time where I should have just said, okay, you right, let's go ahead and move on, or whatever, whatever the next step is gonna be. Tell him this, X, Y, Z, and then move on.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

You know me, you well, you you still learn to me probably too. But I feel like you know this part about me. I have so many ideas in my mind that sometimes I just be like, this is what I want to do. I want to be, and yeah, we can do this and we can do that.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

I need to remember that about you. I know that about you, but I don't be remembering it in a time. Cause like, yeah, I'm like, okay, she said she wants to do this. We need to push to do this, we need to make this shit. And sometimes I'm a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah, and sometimes I'll say it and I'll just be like, then I'll start sitting back and I'll think and I'll be like, I'll look at a few things, I'll have a few conversations, and people give me something to think about, and I'll be like, oh, I didn't think about that. And then my mind will change.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay, so what story did you tell yourself? Not in this in um particular instance, because I feel like in this one, we we had already grown a little bit, so this was not one of our, but like think about one of our past instances. What story I can, or or like for the um that friendship episode we did. At that point, what story were you telling yourself about me um that concluded my actions? Like, that made you think that I acted that way. Like, would you, would you like, oh, this bitch ain't got no friends, so this is why she act like No, I was like, this bitch is too needy for me.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

I was, I said, this bitch is needy. This when we had the argument about me getting a house phone, and you was like, well, what if I what if I break up with my boy? You said some shit. What if I break up with my boy? Bitch, break up with your boyfriend? If you talk to me, he ain't gonna not break up with you. Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 18:04

No, no, I said, what if somebody died? That's what I said. I said, what if it's an emergency? What if somebody died?

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Because I was I was thinking if I had danger undy if you call me. I mean, what so I I had made up my mind, I was like, oh yeah, I can't be friends with this bitch. This bitch too needy.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I think in that um instance, you was thinking that I needed you as a friendship and I needed you as a business partner. Right. I wasn't trying to call and like gossip. I was trying to make sure that we had X, Y, and Z in order. Yeah. And that's what was more, and then that was at around the time when we really didn't have structure to this. So it was like I was calling a lot to try to figure out what was what was gonna be done. What was gonna.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

But can you say that now how we do things, like, do you think that a lot of stuff don't even get, I mean can get done through like how we were getting it done through like just texting, hey, can we do this? Hey, can we do that? Because nowadays we really don't talk much on the like even when we plan it, like we like, okay, you gonna take this one, I'm gonna take this one. Or I'm gonna, okay, and then if we do have a question, we'll call and be like, hey, you gotta.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah, and I say that because now I don't have to remind you, because you know how I am, so I don't have to remind you of certain stuff. So we kind of like both learned a little bit about each other, yeah. So that's why we, I feel like that's why we took the steps that we took. Because I used to, it used to burn me up to have to say, Hey, Coco, did you post that real today? Like, you'd be like, oh, there you go. And I but now that you got like.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

And she still, she still opposed something and be like, oh, I didn't know you was, it was girls. I had to tell her just recently, stay in your lane. Stay in your lane. If I'm social media, then stay in your lane.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Look, it gotta get done.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

It's only two lanes. Yeah, then here she go. Um, I didn't posted a reel. Here she goes two minutes later, posted another girl. You wasting reels at this point.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Sit back. Posted those two hours later. Um, okay, I think that was my what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Okay. So what's what so you answer that same question? What did you make what's what did you tell yourself? What story did you make up about me?

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Um that you used to doing shit your way. And you, you know, that is true. You used to working by yourself. I'm like, she act like she ain't gotta explain shit to nobody. Like, we is doing this together. If you don't, if you don't explain, you know what I'm gonna do. Assume.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

I'ma assume. That is true. So that's what I was like, she, and then I was like, does she think that I like, I don't know. When you say needy, again, I was like, does she think that I need to talk to her about like my relationship? Or like, no, I'm calling you so you we can talk about this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

And then too, I don't know if I had ever said this. I think I have said it on the podcast before, but me and like calling me is always like nerve-wracking to me. I don't like when people call me really.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

That's insane. Because you will sit on the phone with somebody for two hours for nothing.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

I will, but I don't like what people call me about like put it in a text. Like, because I feel like business stuff, it just gives my anxiety a little bit of a rattle. So I'll be wanting to like take my time and not have to be like, because if I'm on the phone, you'd be like, so what episode we got? I feel like I gotta come up with an answer right now. So, like me personally, like I I think that was the frustrating part about me. Like, sometimes you'll be calling me and I'd be like, I don't know, I haven't thought about that. And then that's and and that's not your issue, but that's like me thinking, like, oh, I gotta have an answer if she to ask me what we gotta talk about. So it's like if you text me, I can leave you on red, not leave you on red, but like I can wait and reply when I get ready, and then boom, okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

I like that. I like that. And that's how I like I said, we we just both learning how each one of us functions.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

And then too, like you like you said before, I was like, oh, she's for real, for real with this. Oh, like yeah, yeah, yeah. You said that in the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

You was like, oh, I thought this was just like a little hobby. I'm like, girl, we're trying to get this shit. I'm trying to get this shit to Charlemagne, though. Like, we're trying to take this.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

So, like for real, I wasn't even know like. Media girly, like I'm like, oh, we just two girls talk about some shit on the couch. Like, I'm not really like, okay, we gotta have the camera set up and the the 51.30 of speed. And I I I didn't give a fuck about that.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

To your point, when we sat down at that shop and started recording this, never in my that was not in my fruition.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

You know what? I always think about this. If we wouldn't have had the shop, we wouldn't have had no podcast. No, we wouldn't. Because if we would have had to step out and like make it find the biggest we was doing, I would have been like, oh nah T, we I don't really want to do that. The shop really did it because it was like free. And it was like, okay, we could just do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Okay. Dude, yours is the accountability skill.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Okay. Okay. You can pick When was the last time I pissed you off?

SPEAKER_01 22:50

That's not, you're doing the mirror. Do the second part.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

No, that's accountability skill. I want to.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

The last time you pissed me off. I don't know because it's been a while.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

I can go. So the last time she pissed me off was I'll never forget because I was out on a date with my man and we was in the car, waiting on our table to be ready, and we was on the phone. And this is like this was when we was gonna decide whether we was gonna even have a podcast again or not. She was mad at me because I told this bitch, all I got is $500 for the podcast. That's it. I I got a lot of shit going on. This what it is, this what it ain't. And she was really like, I can't even remember everything we were saying, but I was just like, and I and I feel like I handled that conversation very well because she was mad and she was like, Well, we ain't gotta do it no motherfucking. We can just uh we um something something and then this is nothing.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

You did handle that. I remember that because you were just like, Well, this is what I got, and that's what I that's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

And I told her, I said, and so for you to take this conversation and say, damn everything, that lets me know a lot. And then I told her, and then she said some shit like, and why you got some of my name? And I went on the page and you and I feel I seen you sign my name on something, and I'm like, bitch, we did that together. We were on the phone when I did that. And I was like, oh, this bitch really questioning my character at this point. Like, bitch, I don't need first of all, this bitch ain't making no motherfucking money. So I don't give a damn what I signed your name on. Shit. No, that was the last time I was like, oh yeah. Even even my man was like, hey, don't worry about it. Fuck that. You ain't gotta do no podcast. You ain't gotta have no podcast. I was like, you right, baby, I don't have to have no podcast. But I was like, I was really trying to be mature when I was on the phone with T. But yeah, that shit had pissed me off. I was like, well, bitch, fuck the podcast then.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Okay, in my defense on that one, Kobe, you give like, I don't give a fuck sometimes. Like, and and you don't even realize it, like you're just trying to be stern about your boundaries. But the way you go about it, you just be like, this is what it is. Well, yeah, you did. You did. But in my the way I took it was since we was already having that, who gonna do what, um, kind of like who got what roles. Right. The way I took it is you saying, well, look, this is all I got to give. Even if we got 10 things that need to be done, I'm telling you, I can only do two.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Yeah. So I'm like, damn, you like fuck me. And it wasn't like, I felt like what I was saying that I only could do wasn't nothing that would leave something super undone. I don't know. I can't, I'm trying to think about it. I can't remember everything.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

I can't remember the specifics.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

But I think it was like you posted on social media. I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

I think it was your your scheduling, the one that was that was killing me. You was just like, oh, I only got two days out the month to record. So and at that time, we was recording once a week to have the episode for the next week. But now, you know, we done learned a little better routine.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

And look how two times a month worked for us.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Exactly. We done learned a little better routine.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

But for me, um, I think too, I come from a long time of just doing, going with the flow and doing what people wanted me to do and then being mad about it later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have to deal with that for anybody.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

I feel like that was another thing I was noticing. I'm like, I feel like I'm the first person she testing these boundaries out on. Like, setting, and that's good though, because just like we were talking about your move to Cali, I was a new friend. So it's hard to once you start doing shit for like your old friends, like you said on that last episode. Once you start something with somebody, it's, you know, it's hard to stop. So from people that already knew you, they already know that you was a little loose with it. And that's probably why y'all started, you know, drinking. But I feel like I was the first person that you was really practicing your boundaries on. I'm like, this bitch is giving it. Like, she is giving it to me.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

No, for real. I really was. And two, because not only that um about the podcast, but just simply um having more time. Like the whole point of me going back to work and like not doing my business, aside from like the money just wasn't as lucrative as it was, was the time that I had. And I felt like I was missing out on a lot. Like, right. If I'm doing makeup, I'm not able to go to dance competition. I'm not able to go.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

You made time, and then you're adding stuff into it.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

And so, like, that was my thing. Like, okay, I'm back in square one, like with this podcast, going here every week, weekend, not able to do this, gotta bring car, gotta like, it was just too much. And I'm like, this ain't the life that I wanted to live. I made my I made sure that when I stopped to shop, I was like, whatever I do, I want to curate my life to where this is what I want. Yeah, yeah. And so for me, that was a part of it too. Like, even with Krie, I tell him, Rooser Royalty, baby, you only got two days a week. I mean, two days a month.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Like going to the studio three, four times a week and all that, you ain't no motherfucking rapper. I when I met you, you wasn't one of you. You ain't about to start being one. So, you know, so it was it was boundaries that had to be set for him, for me, like just for my household. So, like, I had to think about all of that. So that's why I was like so stern on it. I'm like, okay, this and we had all we had just had the pop the cup the conversation about how the podcast wasn't making no money. Right. So I was like, okay, if I'm gonna put out $500, that's gonna be my max. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So like until we, and when we make $500, then I can say, okay, boom. We could do that. I gotta handle this in a way that if it's gonna be a business, like she said it is, I gotta treat it like one. Right. And that was kind of my way of showing, like, yeah, this is what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

And I wasn't mad at that either, because at that time we were making it clear that this was a business. So, like, if somebody said, This is my investment into the business, that's what you gotta tell. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's it is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

So, Polly, that was that the last time I pissed you off for real? Because, or was it something else?

SPEAKER_01 28:33

I after I sat back with it, I respected your boundaries. Okay. I was like, that, and then it worked. Right. It wasn't nothing, like you said, it wasn't nothing left off that needed to be done, especially once we got like the consistency of the reels flowing and social media. I had my side with YouTube and um the podcast platforms and all that. I had nothing to complain about. So I was like, let's see if it worked. If it worked, that's good. If it don't, then I'm gonna get on my ass again. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

We're gonna go back to the drawing board. Right. So on a scale of one to 10, how did I handle it?

SPEAKER_01 29:05

I think I would give you a solid eight on that. Okay. I'll give you an eight because I really, in the, I remember the moment. Like, I'm like, she is handling, like, she's, it's not like we loud back and forth. Like, it's not like a disrespect. Like, it's more like a, this is what I got to offer. I hate to tell you that. Like, I can't, I can't pull nothing out my ass that I ain't got to give. You know what I mean? So, like, I respected it. I couldn't, that's all I had. I couldn't do nothing. So I did, I think you did a uh pretty good job with communicating that I give you five. In not an angry way. I'm I am the type of person I'm seeing that now. I gotta sit back with it. I gotta sit back and like cause the the devil be busy, and the the first thoughts I'm gonna get is this motherfucker trying to play me, or this motherfucker, this motherfucker is trying to finesse me. Like, you know what I mean? Like, and once you get them kind of thoughts out of your pathway and you just thinking clearly, it ain't even none of that. Like, what she gonna get out of me? I ain't got no 500 to get up. What's she gonna do? Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Yeah, I agree. Um, so you don't have one then? What? You can't think of one last time I pitched you. No, okay. That was probably it. Okay. Uh, what would you, what would a TNT version of yourself have done differently? Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

I would have just said, okay, that's your boundaries, and I would have gave you mine. Um and if we would have had anything that wasn't covered in the middle of like like the little between spots, I would have said, well, somebody has to pick up X, Y, we still have X, Y, and Z left, so somebody needs to pick up this. Whether you take a little bit, I take a little bit, whatever, whatever agreement we come up to. But I didn't have no boundaries for myself at that point. I was just thinking, whatever it needs, I gotta do.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

You know what I mean? And it should have been a point, like you said, I got 500. I got two days, I got this, I got that. Right. It should have had some kind of, but at that point, I was working, and you know I ain't got no keys. So I'm working in the podcast. That is my life.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

This is my baby. Right. So, like your mom said, that's T baby, girl.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

This is my niece. This is my niece.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

That's T baby, girl.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

No, uh, I think you answered the other two. You want to go on to the last two? We got four minutes. Okay, when do you blank okay? You can do it. I don't know what that is. I don't know what you know what that is.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Okay. The story I make up is blank.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

The story I make up is?

SPEAKER_01 31:32

I'll I'll start.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

The story I make up is actually not the character that you've presented to me. Girl, I've been noticed that. I was like, you've been playing with the kids.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Girl.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

But um the story that I make up is not actually the character that you've presented to me. So like I just said, was just saying about sometimes that first thought is like devilish, like, oh, she's trying to hurt you. She's trying to whatever, whatever. The story that I that comes up first is not what you showed. Like, so I don't even know where that be coming from sometimes. Um so you can do this one.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

What I actually need from you is I would just say not having the uh the worst um outlook on the situation first.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Okay, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

I don't know how to think positive about it, but like I think in my mind the best thing to do is to find the problem. What ifs. So if they come up, we already know like we got a contingency plan on some shit.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

But sometimes that don't even come up, so it's like not even a point of a good majority of the time it don't come up. So it's like you didn't wrestled with this contingency plan where you could have been just making the original plan.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Exactly. And so for me, um, I literally was just telling Carrie was like, uh, you gotta have strong faith. And I was telling him, you know, I was saying, you remember the story about me having strong faith? And he was like, Yeah, with your car, you know, my uh car story. And I was like, I literally sat back one day and I was like, and my mama always say this about me, like, I never plan for the worse.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Like I always jump off the porch with this is what I want to do, and this is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

No, not me. I always try to plan for everything.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Really?

SPEAKER_01 33:43

I try to make the original plan, the contingency plan, the backup plan. Plan, plan, plan.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Like, and I I wanna step away from that. Because, like you said, faith is the original plan and all the contingency, whatever happened, is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

And I think the only time that I do have like a backup plan is when, like, say for instance, when I uh just recently we applied for our uh apartment in California, and um I automatically went for the nicest apartment.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

I'm like, hey, that bit was 5,000. No, it wasn't, it was almost four, but I'm like, I want this apartment. This is what I'm used to. Like, if you know me, like when I move somewhere, I like the nicer side of things, okay? Even if the neighbor like where I'm in. Right, right, right. So I um I'm like, I want this. And so Carrie was like, all right, he always, whatever, Krista. And so um I said, um, I applied for it, everything. So the way my new job is I'm a a not a contract, uh travel teacher now. So my position is not, it's almost kind of like how people do the uh like bubba do like the pre diem work and all that. So I have a pre diem like that I get uh for meals, housing, all those things. And so that is not calculated into my hourly. So when I apply for the apartment, even though I'm extra, yeah, even though I'm gonna make that amount of money, the apartment doesn't calculate that because the pre diem only comes if you work. So they like, oh, we can't count that. So I'm like, oh shit, I don't even apply. I can't. So I'm like, okay, I'm still like, I'm gonna figure out a way. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna use my current work job, paychecks, I'm gonna something. So I'm already so, but in the midst of that, I'm like, okay, if that doesn't work, I'll get the uh smaller unit, like the two-bedroom or something like that, and you know, go for that. So like in the midst of things, I'll but I'm gonna exhaust every end until I get what I want.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. That's good. Because that's faith, but it's also believing in yourself and your work. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 35:49

So that's the only thing that I think I would ask. What would you ask for me?

SPEAKER_01 35:53

The question is, what is something I actually need from you? Um, this, what we've been doing. Like being vulnerable with each other and just saying what it is, having our boundaries, having our um, you've been doing good on your side of the business. I've been doing what I need to do on my side.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Because I post on TikTok and YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Look at that. Look at that. I ain't even have to say nothing. I ain't even have to say nothing. Why you be forgetting about TikTok though? Like what?

SPEAKER_00 36:17

You on my TikTok? Because I I actually I be on TikTok. If out of all of the social media apps, like that's probably the one I spend not ours, but yours. Mine.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

And so, like, and two, if I don't have it on this phone anymore, but even on my other phone, like I would have to remember to like go to it, like at the top, how you gotta go click it and go into it. Like, I be forgetting we even have a TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

I don't. I've a I'm a numbers girl. I'm watching all the numbers across the board. But this was good.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Um that was the last one.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

I had one last question, and I'm gonna go ahead and what's one thing you've been wanting to tell me but haven't.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Oh nothing, really. Uh I don't know. You go first. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Thank you. Shit, for putting up with my shit. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Love you, girl. You know. Thank you for letting me bounce off these, my, my, practice, my new communication, my vulnerability.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

I can say, I can say thank you as well for um being a person that can give people their props. Like you give me my props, like whenever you feel like I'm pro I'm doing something positive or in a good way, you uh you easy, it's not hard for you to say that, so I'll say that.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

I love that. I love that. I tell people that all the time. I'll be like, I'll be telling my friend when I'm talking to him. I hope I ain't said Coco name too much because she done taught me to be me.

SPEAKER_00 37:47

Please don't give nobody else no reason to hate me, because usually that's how they go. When you get a new friend and then you start talking about it too much.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

I hope I didn't say her name too much, but ooh, last time we talked, she said that. Like, that's just what we was just talking about. Yeah, they hate me for sure. Yeah, yeah. But it's cool. Yeah, they ain't gotta be friends with you. I am right. Thank you. We'll see y'all next week. I hope y'all like this conversation. I hope it filled y'all up and start being vulnerable.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Period. Point blank period. Set some boundaries, be vulnerable, and live your life.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

See y'all next week. Bye.