Truth Hurts EXPOSES Why Men Cheat, Emotional Unavailability & Modern Dating | Ep. 115 (Part 1)

Is emotional unavailability created... or taught?
Why do some men struggle to communicate? Can a relationship coach give advice while still being a work in progress? Do we owe strangers an explanation for our personal lives? And why does the internet expect perfection from people who teach?

In Part 1 of this powerful conversation, viral life & relationship coach Truth Hurts joins Cup of Conversation Podcast for one of our most honest discussions yet. From his time in prison to becoming one of the internet's most talked-about relationship voices, Truth opens up about the experiences that shaped his perspective on love, accountability, masculinity, vulnerability, marriage, cheating, healing, and personal growth.

This isn't your typical relationship podcast. We challenge popular dating advice, question modern relationship expectations, and dive into the uncomfortable conversations that most people avoid.

If you've ever wondered:

• Why are so many men emotionally unavailable?
• Can people truly change after cheating?
• Should relationship coaches have perfect personal lives?
• Why do people judge someone's past instead of their growth?
• How much of your personal life do you actually owe the internet?
• Can transparency become a liability in the age of social media?

...then this episode is for you.

Throughout this episode, Truth Hurts discusses:
✔️ His journey from prison to becoming a respected relationship coach
✔️ Why discomfort creates growth
✔️ The difference between the messenger and the man
✔️ Why authenticity matters more than perfection
✔️ Emotional availability in men
✔️ Childhood trauma and how it affects adult relationships
✔️ Marriage, vulnerability, accountability and communication
✔️ Why people weaponize vulnerability
✔️ The internet's obsession with exposing people's past
✔️ Why successful relationships look different for every couple
✔️ Whether people should explain themselves to social media
✔️ Learning through failure instead of pretending to be perfect

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode:
"People have to earn your trauma."

Whether you agree with Truth Hurts or not, this conversation will challenge the way you think about relationships, masculinity, marriage, emotional intelligence, accountability, healing, and personal growth.

💥 And trust us... Part 2 gets even crazier. We end this episode right before diving into one of Truth Hurts' most viral takes about intimacy, marriage, and cheating. You won't want to miss what's next.

👇 Join the conversation in the comments:
• Can people give good relationship advice while still working on themselves?
• Are men taught to suppress their emotions?
• Do public figures owe their audience explanations?
• What's one point you agreed—or disagreed—with the most?

If this conversation filled your cup, don't forget to:
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🔔 SUBSCRIBE for more conversations worth having.

☕ Welcome to Cup of Conversation — where we have conversations worth having.

Follow our guest, Truth Hurts:
Instagram: @iamtruthhurts357
Backup Instagram: @truthhurts_officialback_up

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📸 Instagram: @cupofconversation_
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#TruthHurts #RelationshipAdvice #DatingAdvice #ModernDating #Relationships #Marriage #MenAndWomen #EmotionalAvailability #Masculinity #Communication #Cheating #RelationshipCoach #LifeCoach #DatingPodcast #RelationshipPodcast #SelfImprovement #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth #Healing #Accountability #BlackLove #MarriageAdvice #LoveAdvice #ViralPodcast #PodcastInterview #CupOfConversation

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

They're going to always mention your past when they can't stand your presence.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

It's a whole lot of people. They at home with weed on the nightstand.

SPEAKER_03 0:08

I I want my pastor to have sold heroin. To articulate, well, hold on, baby. This is how I feel. You talking back to a woman, you're matching bitch energy. Y'all gonna be famous and big and just humongous, right? Let me speak that on to y'all.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

And all our skeletons, we sit in front of cameras and talk about you have the option to take that to your grave.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Because other than that, I'm proving something to somebody that's not making me come, somebody that's not paying my bills, somebody that's not feeding my children. Why would I ever owe you your beautiful, no matter how disrespectful you are, no matter how much weight you gain, queen? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

I'm really trying to get my uh my session without paying.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Cause I know will a man ever stop cheating for sure. If he sees a problem with it, he has to be disgusted by it. The woman is the most powerful creature in the world. Great gay men want to be him, and straight men go out of their way to be with him. Right. I spent the majority of my life in prison. Um, I was a uh a liar, a cheater, a backstabber, a manipulator, and everything else under the sun.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

What's up, sippers, and welcome back to another cup of conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Well, we have conversations worth having.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

I'm your girl T.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

And I'm your girl, Coco.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

And today we have a very, very special guest in the building. Y'all might have seen him across your Instagram feed on a viral post. Y'all give it up for truth.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

And don't forget to hurts, because I'm gonna hurt some fillers too. Yes, oh Lord.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Oh Lord. Yeah, we know, we know. Yeah, let me get us a tip real quick.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Oh man. Coming in hot already. But yeah, y'all might have seen him on viral post. Um, it might have had some controversial takes. And that's what we that's what we're here to talk about today, some of your controversial takes. Because you you get on there and say some things, but I don't know. Do you stand behind all of them? Like, that's what we gotta figure out today. That's what I'm trying to see at least. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

I want to hear it.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

So we like to start our um episodes off with how you feeling, how you dealing? So, how are you feeling? And that that's just basically a segment telling us how you're feeling today in this season, and how you dealing with it. Like, are you strategizing? Are you meditating? Are you what's what's your your route of solution?

SPEAKER_03 2:20

Today I'm feeling unstoppable.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Yeah, that's how I woke up feeling this morning.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Unstoppable.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Um What you doing to navigate that? Affirmations or you No, just work ethic, man. I just I just keep going at it. I fell in love with uh being uncomfortable. So I'm at a place right now where I know that like most people are. I I'll give you an example and I won't be long-winded, but like resistance training, that's how you get muscles, that's how you get fucking. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I wake up and every day and I go against whatever I'm supposed to be doing. I want it to be more difficult, so I come up with myself. I feel that's stoppable. I'm the defying gravity and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

I feel that. I understand that. Because a lot of people do, like you said, avoid uncomfortable situations. But that's how you grow, and that's how you that's how you challenge. So I love that you're doing that today.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Today, okay, because I'm kind of like that too. How do you, and I've been trying to figure this out. How do you get comfortable with uncomfortable situations without being able to like identify when something is uncomfortable for real and it needs to be addressed? You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 3:23

So for me, um, when I life coach people, I let them know that a lot of people are prisoners of comfortability. Um, if you were to sit down right now in that chair, it's natural to just flop down, right? Because you don't have to you don't want to exert any energy or strength, right? But when you get into a level of realizing where your weaknesses are or when your body's just giving in, maybe you do sit down and clench your stomach a little bit so you can sit up straight, right? Yeah, yeah. Right. And so in order to be better, I I go against the grain by design. I want to know what the other path is, but I've always been that way. When everyone's going left, I just have to go right. I'm just inquisitive like that. I gotta, maybe it's just the alternate route over there that I just need to see. Um, most people, I don't ever want people to get caught up and being comfortable because those who are content, they really progress.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

You need to like really get in the habit of going against the grain. We don't want to be like them, it's enough of them. Yeah. Like be like you, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

I got that. I understand that. So we're gonna roll into our first segment. We're calling this one the messenger versus the man. Because we sit up here a lot and it kind of gets to a point where it almost feels like imposter syndrome. Because sometimes we talk about the women that we, and we talk about this a lot. Like we're speaking from a place of women where we wanna be, not actually where we are at or coming from. And sometimes it kind of gets up here and it almost feels like you're faking the funk sometimes. So um I'll tell you, like, for example, uh, we were having some conversations that kind of like picked up traction. And when you say stuff on certain stages and you it's recorded, sometimes the way you say it might get misconstrued. Different perceptions can be brought into play. So we get on here, we have to get on here and clear up a couple things, you know. Not necessarily, you don't got to. Why? You don't know. I speak for but I think you do kind of owe like your audience.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

No, you don't. You don't think so? Don't you ever think that? And if if I may interject for a second. Um, I hate doing podcasts. I I stopped doing podcasts with women, right? And I'm gonna tell you why. Because women will come on here and they in the most part, not all, right? But they will not come on here and speak authentically. They'll get up here and speak like they're speaking to the man that they're trying to attract or the lifestyle that they're trying to manifest. So it makes it damn near impossible to have an authentic conversation. Because if I was to get up here and say, well, let's talk human to human, what's your body count? Oh, well, body counts aren't important, or let's be let's be man to woman right now. How are you as a mother, or who were you before this? And you'll never get that answer. You're gonna get the answer that they want the world to perceive them as. And so I don't like having conversations with people like that.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Yeah. I can understand that, and I can see that. Um, but I feel like that's why we always correct ourselves and show both sides. But I think it's important to kind of lean into it, it makes you uncomfortable because you can only fake the funk so much. Yeah, if if you have like avid listeners, watchers, or people who are like in tune, you know, these days they're in tune with your whole life. They're not just in tune with your podcast. They're trying to follow you on this platform, that platform. They want to know things that you are going through. And sometimes it's harder to hide that. Sometimes it's harder to mask. I live with my I led with my flaws, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:30

And so that's what makes me unique. That's what makes my following unique. Right, right. I led what I'm a five-time felon. Um, I've been on trial from everything, from first degree murder to first degree attempt murder. I've spent the majority of my life in prison. Um, I was a liar, a cheater, a backstabber, a manipulator, and everything else under the sun. So I led with transparency, right? Right. Um, but I think that it also gets to a certain level in life that people have to understand you show people what you want them to see. And like you said, it is extremely hard to continuously fake the funk. So I wouldn't even sit in front of y'all and act like I have it figured out. I'm a work in progress. I got famous and rich by accident. Yeah. And I'm still getting better every single day. Because what'll happen when people fake the funk, it puts you in a box. And once you put yourself in that box, it'll be the same box they bury you in, respect.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Right, exactly. It's hard to come out because you lying. For sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

And I um I like what you said because for me, the internet, I don't feel like I owe them anything. But sometimes you have to clear things up for me because, like, let me let me give you an example. So, you know how we had the we had a conversation about um, it was something simple. I said, when I get ready to leave the house, I don't tell my husband I'm leaving. But the prior conversation would led me into saying that, you would have to, you would have to have heard that to know what I meant by you have the context. And so men were like, who, what type of woman, this, this, isn't that? And I'm like, what I was saying before that was I don't ask my husband to watch my daughter. Okay. If we're both at the house and he says, Hey, I'm about to go out and hang with the boys, it's understood that if I'm the one that's still at the house, you're watching her. Like, so I he give I give him the same respect. Like, he give me the same respect, and I Can I give you a teachable moment? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

As a life and relationship expert, what I'm gonna teach you about this internet because you y'all gonna be famous and big and just humongous, right? Like we speak that on to y'all, right? Yeah, let it, let it. Never, it is nobody's job to understand your relationship and the dynamics of it but y'all.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

And so, what you'll understand is, right? Like you'll get all of these people that'll pick and and have something to say about what you got going on. But I tell people, there's no such thing as a perfect marriage, only a successful one.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

And so as long as your relationship works for you, there's people, right, to to outside looking in that are swingers within their marriage. Yeah. And you'll get people that'll say, Oh my god, that's crazy, but that works for them. You'll get people that invite people into their marriage. Right. But if you leave it up to society, of course, they're always gonna judge, they're always gonna pick apart. And usually as somebody that don't have a man that cares about them or checking in on them, respectfully, love your husband and y'all do what works for y'all.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Yeah, no, really. Yeah, and and that's what I and I and I believe that. I wholeheartedly believe that. And so I'm like, people, this is another thing. I saw I was watching a podcast that you were on, and I don't like how like the internet tries to make it seem like they haven't been through lived experiences.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

And now when they see a lived experience, they use it to spin the narrative on how it could be the worst thing ever. Like you haven't been, yeah. Like you haven't, and you your story related to me so much when you were talking about the situation with the speed chase and all that. Absolutely. Because my husband um had a whole life before me with weed too. We before we had kids, like he was a drug dealer, he did all the things, and he happened to be in a situation too where um undercover cop was in this midst of a situation. I'm not putting all his beans out there, but like like that or whatever. And something, he was with my daughter in the car. And I'm sure, like you said, it's a whole lot of people. They at home with weed on the nightstand, all these things. But they'll get in, if they see the story because you're here on this platform, but you decide to record it and put it out. Yes, it's like they don't have no understanding to how shit can go. Like, and I and I think that's be for me more so not so much clearing it up for the internet, but letting y'all know, like, y'all not about to make me feel no type of way from having a lived experience.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 10:15

And it's all about how people try to paint your character sometimes. Sometimes I feel like that's more so what we be clearing up than um. But we're gonna be doing that forever if we can. I know, I know. I know. And then I've been trying to train myself not to do that because baby Beyoncé don't.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

They're gonna be able to do that. You know what I'm saying? People are choosing They're going to always mention your past when they can't stand your presence. Right, right. They're going to always do that. Don't y'all ever, don't you ever forget it. They're going to, they're going to always say, well, she used to be, and this is what she used to do. What could you say to me? Right, right. Who lived better than me? Right. Your man don't look better than me. He don't do better than me. What are we talking about? Right. I sold drugs, went to jail my whole life, and I ended up still past you. So with that being to say, what's the conversation about?

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

And all our skeletons, we sit in front of cameras and talk about you have the option to take that to your grave. That's integrity is, you know, one of those things that we don't mind showing the back steps and how we didn't went through things. Like it's one of those things where you can, you do have the option. Every decision you have, you can take to your grave if you want to. You could or you can talk about them. You can make it like your testimony to your step to the next place. But most people just do like the skeleton thing and then talk about other people because they're projected, because they don't want to talk about their situation. They don't want to, they don't want to have to speak on, you know, how he did me and baby mama me and did this. Like, I feel like we we got more courage than a lot of people then.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

I just want to teach you, because like I said, y'all are gonna be humongous, right? People have to earn your trauma. And that's what I tell all my clients. You don't just get a uh easy pass into my trauma. You don't get to figure out what makes me tick or what makes me work. You have to earn that. And with y'all being in front of these cameras, they got to pay for that. Yeah, yeah. And so I don't want y'all to start volunteering uh uh uh uh um valuable information for free. No, I'll explain it to you, but it's going to be a check attached to it because other than that, I'm proving something to somebody that's not making me come, somebody that's not paying my bills, somebody that's not feeding my children. Why would I ever owe you in my day-to-day life? You have no say in that. And they're not gonna pay for you to die or any of that.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

But anyway, I just wanted to go ahead and do that. No, but that's that's good because I think we're getting into a time nowadays where everybody is putting themselves in front of camera. So you either gonna be misunderstood, they're gonna use their perspective to try to view what you're saying. It's gonna always be something to explain. And I feel like a lot of us are. Like, but like people like Cardi B, a lot of people with millions of followers and and credibility feel like they have to. And the truth is, we really do not. Like, we don't owe them that. Cardi B get online screaming at the camera all the time. Yeah, that's what it's hard to like stop the human want to be understood. You know, human emotions.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

It's natural to want to defend yourself when you're being attacked. Yeah. That's natural. And so that's what I tell all of my clients. It's you're stop trying to make yourself a robot. You're going to feel, I don't care how famous you get, how rich you get, who you are internally, that does not change. It's natural to want to protect yourself, especially when you know that a certain narrative is being picked. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

But I can tell you've been doing this for a long time because Why you say that, friend? Because listen, I can tell because I like people that say the things that people want to say. And I feel like when you get online and you can constantly, you constantly say the things that people want to say, whether whether I I agree or not, I don't have to agree with everything of a person that I like.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

I can like T. It's some stuff she says that I'd be like, nah, I don't rock with that. But that don't make me not like her because she said that. So I just feel like we I could tell you've been doing it for a long time because you have gotten in a habit or you have been comfortable being able to say stuff that people be like, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Like, I don't have followers, I have family.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

The people that follow me, we family. We fall out, cuss each other out. They unfollow me, come follow me back. He pissed me off the day, but this is how you know that I'm not lying to you. Yeah, yeah. You think that I can't get on the internet like the other names and say you're beautiful, no matter how disrespectful you are, no matter how much weight you gain, queen. Yeah. I'm selling you something. I'm not selling you anything. I'm putting me in front of you, and you're buying who I am. You're buying my authenticity for sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

So you think they're buying your flaws and all? Like, do you think that as you as a coach and a lifestyle helping people out, do you think you still have room to fail in front of people or tell your truths?

SPEAKER_03 14:42

I'm gonna fail for the rest of my life. There's a book by Byron C. Maxwell called Felling Forward. Right. And he says the difference between winners is losers and losers is that losers fail and they take it as if it's a dark plague. They treat it as if it's life ending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Winners fail and keep it fucking pushing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to fail for the rest of my life. My imperfections are what make me human. Remember, we're not robotic. I am going to. Never. But anyway, yes, I'm going to fail for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

But it's the, I just, I asked, I posed that question because most people, if I pay you to give me advice on X, Y, and Z, I'm going to, in my mind, assume that you've practiced this advice. Assume that you know the results on the other end of this advice. So if I get why people are skeptical because they do this with pastors, they do this with the past. If I say that's the preacher of things. They do this with anybody that's.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

But he's telling you the what to do or telling you the word, basically. He might not be telling you what to do, or he's telling you this. What's right and what's wrong. Yeah. That if you're telling me this, then you can't do the wrong.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

I had a friend, um, very dope young lady. She said, Um, I I want my pastor to have sold heroin, right? And when she said it, right, at first, I'm like, what? And then she said, Well, you can't have a testimony unless you've been tested. So, in a sense, right, if somebody was to watch me, some of most of my advice, 96% of my advice is from experience. That's why I'm a life expert and not a master, right? I haven't mastered it. You cannot master life. Right because life is not, in order to master something, you've completed it. I won't, I won't complete life until I'm doing me. Right. You understand what I'm saying to you? So when I speak to you, when I tell you, I lead with I was a dog ass of a man. I was a liar, cheater, backstabber. If I could get over, I would. So I know what it's like to be a horrible person. I know what it's like to be a decent person. I also know what it's like to be an evolved person as well. And so people, like I said, they put themselves in this box of being perfect. I never claim to be perfect. I'm not a preacher, I'm not any of those things. I am just somebody that has probably lived just a tad bit more than most. And I can teach you how to navigate it from a winning perspective because not only did I go through it, I persevered through it and ended up on top. That's the difference between me and all of these other influences.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

So you you basically saying that you can teach them how it goes, but not to that's not to say that you won't make the mistake again. You just have a different mindset of the mistake. So something that you're wearing like a scarlet letter.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

I fell forward. Yeah, yeah. I fell forward. I'm going to get better. And I'm I might F up when I leave here, but I'm going to wake up the next day and try to be better.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

So, okay, so you say you have been that man, right? Yes, ma'am. We have been having a conversation around um beyond like cheating and stuff like that. We she just recently made a statement about like, um, if you still getting cheated on in 2026, like step your cookies up, like type of thing.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

Like a coochie? Is that shit? Like, is it coochie?

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Step up. Like just step yourself up. Yes, like if you still settling for somebody that's cheating, she was like, step yourself up. However, let me finish though. Let me finish. I want to know. We we we we talked about I said that to say that cheating is like that's basically level one. Level one probably relationship issues. Like I we have been talking about the more complex issues as like somebody that doesn't um isn't emotionally unattached, somebody that cannot communicate well. So I wanna know from a man's perspective what who what creates that type of man. And I know you spoke on it a little bit when you were talking about not having a father, not having a dad, and how being raised by a single woman can affect being a man, a strong man. So I want to know, like from a man, what cultivates a man that is emotionally unattached, a man that cannot really stand in the face of adversity or um conflict, not even adversity. They might do it solo, but it's it pertains to a relationship.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

So men are emotionally unavailable because we're programmed to be emotionally unavailable.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

As a black man in America, if I fell down at the age of three, I'm told to get my bitch ass up. I'm told to stop crying. And if I fuss and if I show you any signs of weakness, it's automatically correlated with me being a woman or acting like a girl.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

So I always ask women, I challenge women, why would you think, right, that from three to 43, all of a sudden we get married, we get in a relationship, and now I'm supposed to be emotionally available when I've been programmed to be numb to this for the last 40 years? It's extremely hard for me to show you emotion. How many men do you know have showed a woman emotion and now he's sassy? How many men do you know that have tried to articulate, well, hold on, baby, this is how I feel. You talking back to a woman, you're matching bitch energy.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

You understand? So it's like you will say that you want a certain thing, but then you'll weaponize that thing and then wonder why a man will turn it all the way off. And a lot of women don't understand. You get one opportunity for a man to be vulnerable with you, and once you fuck that up, he will never open up again.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Really?

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Ever.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Even after the work.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

I stand on it.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

I believe that too. Just because I I see how they reflect to, I mean, um, acting once they, you know how when men get cheated on, they always say they can't take it. Like women can't, like, I really feel like you only give them one, they only give us one chance to show them some kind of character flaw. And I wish women had that kind of resilience at all.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

He took his armor off. So you have to understand, it's it's like Superman without the cape. We do that all the time. Yeah, but this is the thing. That's why you, y'all are here to to to bear children. Y'all are strong. It it's it's it's we're taught to have false bravado and false to be of resilience. But women are stronger than us, just like women are smarter than us. This is the thing, and they're gonna get mad at me for this, right? Women are way smarter than men because they have to be. We're stronger than y'all. So we can get over on y'all with brute force. That's why you can outthink us. But you cannot name one. If you think about the most dangerous person, the dangerous man in your environment, we all answer to a woman. Rather, that is your wife, rather that is your daughter, your grandmother. Think about the maybe y'all don't have any killers in your neighbor, but think about the roughest person that you knew in your neighbor. Let his mom call for him. Put the gun down, everything, and we're a mama calling me. Yeah, you're right. So you have to understand the woman is the most powerful creature in the world. Great gay men want to be him and straight men go out of their way to be with him.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Right.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Y'all have so much power, but never mind. I can't get y'all to move. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead, my phone.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

I'll start cooking and I'm not sorry.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

I'm not gonna cook. Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Go ahead. Go ahead. Because I just want to know like what part of that, I get all of that. I agree with all of that. But it's like, so because of that, we have to deal with what comes with you not being emotionally, you, you, you being um not being me, me not being looked at as a safe place. Because I look at it as like when we talk about like getting married, we say all of the things like make sure you're married, make sure you're ready for marriage, make sure you d do all of these things.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

There's no way to be married, friend. I mean, pardon me, there's no way to be right, friend.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Right. But what I'm saying is That's what we're taught. Right, that's what we're taught. But what I'm saying is when you when you're hearing those things and you're thinking, okay, I'm ready to marry a woman, like because y'all say, I ain't ready yet, I ain't ready yet. What what are y'all saying that's not ready? Because I'm thinking in my head, so when you ask. Me, you have identified that I was raised by a single mother. I don't want to lose you.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

I think of you that much, and I don't want nobody else to have you. That's what it takes. That's what it boils down to. I just want to marry you. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

So why y'all don't do that at the uh at week two?

SPEAKER_03 22:13

Why who don't do that at week two? Because some men do. Some men, some men are that certain. Some men are that certain. And most women will run away and say, Oh, he's doing too much. He pressed, they'll self-sabotage. A lot of women say they want a man to date with intention. Then when they get an intentional man, they run away. Oh shit. I said that. He's too serious about me. I said that. Really?

SPEAKER_02 22:30

I said that following up to my cheating comment because I was like, But what do I know?

SPEAKER_03 22:33

I just canceled thousands of women.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

Most women will say, like, um, oh, I want a man who's emotionally intelligent and blah j, blah, blah, listen. And when they get that, they like, oh, he's a lane. He he do this. He does too much.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

He blase, but I'm up here, I'm really, I'm really trying to get my uh my session without paying. Cause I'm not sure. She do that. She does that. That's what you're gonna do. Because I'm I'm I'll speak, I tell people all the time, when I get on this podcast, T T get mad. Like I say, she don't get mad anymore. But I used to say, like, people like, why you got a podcast? Because T asked me to be able to do a podcast. But I now have grown to love doing it. But when I'm doing it, I'm really talking from lived experiences. And I'm really asking because I know, like you say, a lot of women say, oh, they want emotional intelligence. But not having that, and I don't see that as a sign to as a person to like just isolate from a person because they don't have that. Because it's something that I don't have, that I grew up in my childhood, that I didn't get from my parents, that I'm suffering from as an adult too, that I have to work on. But it becomes very exhausting dealing with a man that is not when you know he's a good man. Absolutely. You get what I'm saying? When you know he's a a great father, a good man outside of that, and having to carry the emotional load. And I hear this from I have a lot of friends that are older than me and they're divorced. And I'm like, what was it? Like, is it a time frame on this thing? Is it a thing that's gonna come and like I'm thinking I'm good in my marriage. I'm thinking that you know, we got we ain't perfect, ain't no marriage perfect. But I feel like this is somebody I could be with for the rest of my life. But you then telling me, no, me and this, me, you know, all of the negative things that we hear about me, oh, if he can't do this, if he can't communicate with you, then you need to leave him.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

But I'm like, is that the only I don't think I ever said that.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

No, I'm not saying you said that, but I'm just saying the things that you hear as a give you some game.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Yeah. Right. Um, and I tell any woman or man that's in a relationship a relationship is progressive, which means that we're going to continually grow for the rest of our lives, right? If you feel like you're with a person and it's literally just a standstill, like this is as good as it gets, right? Then you also have to ask yourself, what does that look like for forever for you, right? Because some things we can overlook, but then some things are going to be overwhelming. It's going to drain us so much that at some point you're going to have to give up. You're going to you do two things in a relationship. It is very simple. It's either we are going to grow together or we are going to grow apart. There is no in-between. And what you'll learn about the human, right? Like the mind and the body, it is going to go get what it is craving. It's like when you go on a crash diet, right? Okay. And you know that you love chocolate cake. You know you do, but you just cut it off cold turkey, right? And you do good for two days and three days, and then you call yourself sneaking down to that kitchen at three o'clock in the morning and your whole face is inside of the refrigerator, right? The body and the mind is going to go after what it wants. So in your marriage or anybody's relationship, you have to ask yourself, because everybody's flawed, right? Our imperfections are what make us human, right? Right. You have to ask yourself for the long game, is my man being emotionally unavailable something I can handle for the rest of my life? Now, can he change? Absolutely. But he would have to deem it an issue within himself, something that he doesn't like. I'll give you me for an example. I spent a lot of time in prison and I have a habit of being aggressive. I don't mean to be. I didn't even know that I was doing it. And one day my wife checked me, and my wife never raises her voice. And then one day she said, I'm not a grown ass man. And I looked, because I'm a tourist, and naturally, I'm like, well, hold on, nigga. Like, you know, whoa, what's you know? And um I got in my car and I came back home and I said, You know what? You're not a grown-ass man. And I was so disappointed because I didn't see it, but I saw a problem in that. Just like when we talk about cheating and things of those natures, right? Like, well, will a man ever stop cheating? For sure. If he sees a problem with it, he has to be disgusted by it.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

So that gives me to my next point. Okay, cool. You had a video that went viral, and you said that if a man is not like getting sex, he's going to cheat. Like in America.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

I think he should get a pass too, cheat. If you're if you are, I know exactly what I said. I said that if you are withholding sex, because people blew that out of proportion, and I don't give a fuck. Um, but I said this. If if if if sex is not an obligation in a marriage, then the hall pass or cheating has to be mandatory. If sex is not mandatory for the woman that I am providing for, taking care of, protecting, if we if sex is not an obligation, then I know I gotta be able to step outside the marriage and get some coochie to get my needs, man.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

So why not leave? Hold on. That's where we're gonna stop this episode, anyway. That's where we're gonna slide into part two. Yeah, because I'm gonna go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's getting there. It's getting there. Okay. I know.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Don't live it.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

If you need to book a session with me, man, make sure y'all go follow me. We're going on tour, right? We will be in Baltimore August 23rd. Um, what is that? Damn, uh uh North Carolina, uh, September 11th, September 18th and 19th, Cleveland and Pittsburgh, New Jersey, Bridgeport, Connecticut, Bridgeport, Connecticut, um, in New York City, 24th, 25th, and 26th, Atlanta, Miami, and some other places. Make sure y'all go get y'all tickets. You don't know shit about men the tour. It's a vibe. So, I'm gonna get you shit. You don't know shit about men the tour.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Definitely get your tickets for that. But you didn't drop some GMs today, for real.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

No, for real. And women need to, like, I think we have a big uh woman. Well, we got a lot of men that listen to. But we do have to.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Yeah, they just be want to argue with it.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah, yeah. We do we have a big womanly audience. So hopefully they've gained some insight.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

And that's okay if you don't.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

That's okay. You know, you're one of them people you gotta grow to like.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

No, no, to be honest, true, I'm gonna be honest. I told T this on the phone. Uh I said, I like, because the reason we reached out is because I like, and T, we were looking at your stuff and we like, we like the stuff that you say. And then it's like when we were prepared for this, we start seeing more and more clips of you, and we was like, no, we don't like the shit that he says.

unknown 28:21

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

And then, like you said, your followers go and do it. And then it met me in person, and it changes again, right? Yeah. And so that's when women come to my shows. I've literally had women say, I came to hate you.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

She said, But I love you. I have such a deep, different level of respect for you because you're really teaching. Because you're and you're honest.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Like real. It's the things that we don't want to hear most of the time that are to be better. I want all y'all to get better.

SPEAKER_03 28:41

I know what it's like to not have a father, brother. I know what it's like to be in a position where y'all are being manipulated. So it's one of those where I'm speaking from a big brother, uncle, father standpoint where I want you to win. And it's gonna hurt you, but I'm not putting a band-aid over a bullet wound. I'm going through the surgery. Yeah. I'm gonna hit some shit that ain't supposed to be hit, but you'll come out better, I promise.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

The healing process is gonna make you or break you.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Well, I hope this conversation fills y'all cups.

SPEAKER_03 29:06

I'm never coming back since they ain't like me neither.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

No.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Look, we got we got a grown energy, baby.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

But you leave us with it. Not even a dislike. It's just like, damn, why he had to say all that like that. Like, why you have to tell us about ourselves? Like you call the people big beckons.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Why you ain't saying I will not miss the gym for the next two days.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

I will that's what we're gonna cut the truth.