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Well, good morning, folks. I see eyes open at the moment. We hope we hope they stay that way and trust that the Lord will be pleased to use these times together to help in ways that will really advance, you know, your children's growth in Christ and your confidence in being able to raise Him in ways that you feel are honoring to the Lord and beneficial to them and just are, re-resulted in a happier, holier home for each one of you. That's what we hope, by God's grace, will take place. This particular session entitled participatory parenting, you can tell I like alliteration when I can do it, is really designed to encourage you with this one overall thought. You're not on your own. You're not on your own in parenting your children. In fact, even more strongly, the dominant player in the parenting of your children is not you. It's the Lord who, through you, wants to bring about good effects in your children and help you grow in becoming a better father and mother because God is at work in you and through you to accomplish His work in their lives. I mean, isn't that just a marvelous truth to take to heart every day? I'm not on my own, nor am I the primary agent in the parenting of my children.

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I'm a tool in God's hands that He uses through me to bring about these good effects in our children's lives. So I hope you are encouraged by that. That's the point of the title. We participate with God. So the introduction, you can see there my explanation of this term, participatory parenting. What is this? This concept comes from the observation that in parenting, just as in every other aspect of the Christian life, I think that is true. I can't think of any part of the Christian life where this doesn't apply. We are to understand that what we do is as active participants with God in His work. This makes such a difference as you face your job day by day. It's God at work through me to accomplish this work. It's as you relate as couples together in your marriages. It's God working through me to deal with these issues that I have with my wife or husband. I'm not on my own, nor am I the primary agent.

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I am a tool in God's hands through whom He does His work in accomplishing what He does through me.

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And these are principles that are clearly taught in the New Testament. So for example, the broader principle you see in Philippians 2, 12, and 13. You remember this passage, right, where Paul says, work out your salvation with fear and trembling. I don't know if you've taken time to think about that statement, but it is really a sobering statement. I mean, you feel the weight of that, don't you? You need to do this with fear and trembling. Do what? Work out your salvation. Now, let me just say it is sobering. It is heavy. It is weighty. It is important, but there's not a period there. Aren't we so glad? Oh my goodness. Aren't we so glad there's not a period there. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling period. It's all on you.

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Now, here's a comma. Four, God is the one at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. That just changes everything, doesn't it? So you can take the weightiness, the sobriety, the seriousness of that commandment, work out your salvation with fear and trembling, and feel the weight of it lifted because you realize the weight is born principally by God who works in us what needs to be done in order to accomplish this work. God is the one at work in us to will and to work. I mean, what is there in what we do? Work out your salvation with fear and trembling that doesn't involve the willing of it and the working of it. I mean, that's how things work, right? We will it and then we work it. Well, God is the one at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. So indeed, praise be to God, we are not on our own on this. But do we consciously depend upon the work of God? Are we consciously aware that He is the one who is the ultimate power that enables our growth and holiness, our working out of our salvation?

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Well, we need to be, don't we? We need to have that conscious awareness. Lord, this is your work in me. Please do in me what I cannot do myself. Please accomplish a work that is supernatural.

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I can't make this happen. Do this in me, dear God. Colossians 1 29 another brief statement of this is this is Paul's statement. He says I labor. So indeed, you know, just stop right there. He does labor. I mean, is there any question when you read about the Apostle Paul in the Book of Acts or you read his letters? Is there any question about the fact that he labors? Five times I've received 39 lashes, you know, and a shipwrecked and and had the burden of all the churches. And yeah, he labors. I labor, striving according to his power, which mightily works within me.

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I mean, just just to say I labor, it's all on me. Plus, here's another another feature of this.

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If it's all on me and I'm the one who labors and you know, you put a period there, I labor period.

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It's all on me. Well, then whatever good comes of it, I get the credit. You better acknowledge I'm the one who did this. I should get the thanks. I should get the credit. I should be the one who is praised. I did it. I don't know. I labor, striving according to his power, which mightily works within me. So who gets the credit? Who gets the honor? Who gets the glory? But who gets to be the one through whom his power is exerted? We do. Now, you know, God, God could have just set things up so differently. So he didn't do so much of the work that he does do through instruments called his children, called believers Christians. He could have just done it himself unilaterally, right? And just had us watch just sit over here and watch what I do. But instead, so much of what he does, he chooses to do it through the instrumentality of us. But both, you know, Philippians two, both in terms of our own growth, workout your salvation, fear and troubling, but also in terms of our laboring for the sake of ministry to others. He chooses to do it through us, not apart from us, not everything. Obviously, there's a ton of stuff that God does unilaterally, but much of it, he chooses to do it this way. So indeed, when he does something through us and people are benefited, who gets the glory? God does. And the person who needs to understand that the most is you through whom God has done this work, right? So you don't crave, you know, getting the praise you want instead to God be the glory to be known by them and you.

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First Corinthians 1510, another statement of this that you see from the Apostle Paul.

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He had the same idea I labored, but here he's comparing himself to all the rest of the apostles. I labored more than all of them. Wow. I take it this is not braggadocia. It's just fact.

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Who else did the travels that Paul did? Who else encountered the persecution and the opposition that Paul did? Now, others did experience some of that, but none of them to the extent that the Apostle Paul did. Not even close. I labored more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me. See, you can hear from Paul in both those statements in Colossians 1 and First Corinthians 15, how important it is to know this, right? Because then you not only rely upon God for his strength to be at work in you and through you, but then you know when the work is done, who the one is, who you thank and praise for what has happened. It's his work. It's all his work.

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Okay. So that's the general principle. And guess what? It applies to parenting too, because it's part of what we're called to do as Christian people. Parents have this enormous responsibility and God doesn't say, well, you know, of this particular part of your life, the parenting side of things, that's all on you. Here's the good news, my friends. There is nothing in the Christian life that is all on us. Nothing. We are the recipients for everything that God calls us to do. The recipients of his grace and power and wisdom and encouragement to do anything and everything we're called to do. And parenting is no exception to that. So indeed, parenting is participatory. We are participating in God's work in the raising of our children. So let me just read from what I have here. Is parenting an exception or should we not think of ourselves as participating and what in fact is God's work in the raising of our children? Furthermore, children are a stewardship from the Lord. They are not ours ultimately, but God's. So let me just add one more thing to this. Here's another reason to realize this is ultimately the work of God because those kids that are in our homes, we don't own them. They're not ours in an ultimate sense. They're God's. They belong to him. And we are like with everything else.

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Stewards, you know, the difference between a steward and an owner. An owner has the right with what he owns to do with it as he chooses. It's his. He can mess it up. He can beautify it. He can do whatever he wants with it, but who can complain about it? Because it's his. He owns it. He has the right over it. But a steward possesses what has been given to him or her by the owner and is to use what is given to him by the owner in a way that the owner approves. Use it in a way that the owner approves. That's the difference between ownership and stewardship. And we are not owners of our kids. They're not ours. Ultimately, they're God's. And I just think I look at my daughter here.

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What a privilege that the Lord gave to us. Bethany, our first board. And what a privilege to be steward of her. But oh, my goodness, she's the Lord's. She's not ours. And we want her to be used by the Lord in any way that the Lord wants to use her. Right. And that involved marrying Owen. What a blessing Owen is. And just to see how God works in these ways. So as parents, I'm going to say more about this later, so I don't want to, you know, spill, spill all the beans right here. But it's just very important to have this stewardship idea in mind all the time.

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They're owned by God. I'm a steward. And so my role is to be used by God, by his strength to see them prosper, to see them flourish, to see them grow. So just a couple of statements here. Psalm 127 three very famous statement. Children are a blessing from the Lord.

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So they're not from us ultimately, although obviously mom gives birth and you know, it takes mom and dad to make them and all of that. But still, they're from the Lord.

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They're a blessing. So a gift, a kindness, a way in which God shows his favor to parents is by giving them children. And by the way, I just, you know, there probably is someone out there, some couple out there who have not been able to have children. So don't read this.

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Children are blessing from the Lord. We haven't been able to have children. God doesn't want to bless us. Please don't do that. Please don't because we don't know the mysterious ways of God in which he is the one who ordains what blessings are brought into our lives. And for some reason, he has ordained in some cases that there be childless parents and it's a burden, no doubt, but it's also something that in those cases, parents need to realize, my goodness, this is God's good design for us. Don't think of this as disfavor. Think of this as God's favoring us in a different way. And maybe that means you would adopt. I mean, it's really, there are options that you have, but just don't read that as to say, I'm not blessed. God doesn't love me. God doesn't care about us.

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It just is not true. There are too many examples in the Bible, right, of childlessness. And yet, they were so faithful. You think of Hannah, you know, pleading with the Lord for a child for how many years? Sarah, you know, didn't give birth to her first until she was 90 years old. And, you know, the years that she spent wanting for this. So I just, this is a little bit of a footnote here, but I just want to warn you against thinking that children are the only way God blesses parents. No, he blesses them because of faithfulness, because of his mercy and grace to them. And in most cases, not all, in most cases, that includes children given. So indeed, they are a blessing from the Lord. That's the main point I'm making. They're not from us. Ultimately, Matthew 10 37, if you love father, mother, son or daughter more than me, then you're not worthy of me. So indeed, our hour and there, that is our children's first and only ultimate loyalty is to God. Right? If we make our families sort of the temple structure in which all of our affection and love and, and, you know, adoration takes place, we're missing it because all of that needs to be reflected to God, who alone is worthy of our worship and honor. So we cannot love father, mother, sister, brother more than we love God. And indeed, he's the one who ultimately deserves our highest allegiance and ultimate loyalty. Okay, so there's background kind of the framework for thinking about parenting as participatory as God's work in and through us in the, the parenting role that he gives us to do.

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All right, let's move ahead now. And there are these aspects of participatory, participatory parenting. I want us to think about the first one, you might wonder why you would have this on the list. It seems so obvious, but it is aspect. The first aspect of participatory parenting is participatory creation of our children. So I don't know if you ever thought about this. What an amazing thing it is that when God first created Adam and Eve from the Adam from the dust of the ground, and then he takes a rib from Adam and forms her into a woman and brings her to him. And, but then, I mean, this is image of God, that this is the pinnacle of God's creation. You might think that, yes, bears can beget bears and elephants can beget elephants and, you know, whatever.

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All of that's true in the animal kingdom. But when it comes to humans, image of God, you might think God might say, you know what? I'm going to take care of all of the creation of human beings myself. I'm going to make the next generation of Adam and Eve. I'm going to be the one who does that unilaterally, which he could have done. But instead, he gives to parents the inestimable, nearly unbelievable privilege of being the instruments through whom the next generation of image of God creation comes about. He gives it to us. Wow! Amazing! The pinnacle of his creative work, he grants us that privilege. So, indeed, in Genesis 1, 26 and 27, it's male and female who are made in the image of God. There's no doubt that this is the case. You know, verse 27, so God made man in his own image, the image of God, he created him, male and female, he created them. So, image of God to them, both male and female, equally, image of God of equal dignity, equal worth, equal value before God. But then the next verse, so God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. So, through you, the next generation comes. Now, I want you to see something fascinating. Genesis 5, turn there just real quickly if you would, please, in your Bibles.

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Genesis 5, it's so instructive that the beginning of the chapter just kind of rehearses again God's creation of the man and the woman in his image. Verse 1 of Genesis 5, this is the book of the generations of Adam and the day when God created man, he made him in the likeness of God, he created them, male and female, and he blessed them and named them man. So, they're both fully human. They both have the common identity of being human made in the image of God. He named them man in the day when they were created. Now, look at the next verses here. When Adam had lived 130 years, he became the father of a son in his own likeness according to his image and he named him Seth.

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Do you hear that language in his own likeness according to his image? What's that language come from? It's Genesis 1.26. Now, it just swaps the image in likeness order, right? So, Genesis 1.26 and God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness and here it's, he was the father of a son in his own likeness according to his image. So, it just swaps the order of image and likeness but that's really trivial. There's no significance that I can tell that takes place in the change of the order there. The point is this, that how is, okay, here's a question. Because Seth is born in the likeness and image of Adam, does that mean that Seth is not in the likeness and image of God? Ah, likeness of an image of God ended with Adam and Eve. They're the only ones of the entire human race who are image of God. That ends and instead Seth is now in the likeness of an image of Adam. Is that how we should interpret this? The answer is no. Does anyone know why it's not a class? Anyone know why that, why biblically, why we know that's not the case?

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Well, just keep reading in Genesis to chapter 9. If you kill somebody, by man your blood shall be shed, for in the image of God he created man. Genesis 9.6. So, we realize no, image of God continues. So, back to verse 3. So, when it says that Seth comes in the likeness and image of Adam, it doesn't mean he's not in the likeness and image of God. It rather means this.

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Seth is born in the likeness and image of God only because he comes in the likeness and image of Adam.

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In other words, image of God passes on through procreation. That's the idea. God gives us the privilege of bringing about the next generation of image of God, individuals. So, some implications here. What an awesome thing to think that we share in the creative act by which whereby image of God creations are brought into existence. Perhaps human sexuality has such unique pleasure so that we can feel something, just some of what God feels in creating humans in his image. That's just a guess, but you do wonder why God did this to make the sexual experience to be what it is.

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May it not be the greatness of what's taking place in procreation? I want you to know how I feel about creating image of God, the pinnacle of my creative work says God. So, what a privilege, yet what a responsibility. So, a couple things here. Submit to God's revealed will for human sexuality. You realize human sexuality is a gift from God. It's a huge blessing, but only when it is used in ways that God has designed. And when we go against the design of God, human sexuality that has this huge potential benefit can then bring about horrific harm. I mean, we see it all around us, don't we? One of the most wicked and vicious ways in which people are mistreated is through misuse of human sexuality. And yet, the source of greatest joy, or great joy that we can have as human beings. So, we must submit to God's revealed will for human sexuality. This is one of the reasons our culture despises biblical manhood, womanhood, biblical sexuality, biblical genders. Why? Because God designed it that way. And remember, Frank Sinatra, I did it my way. We want to launch out on our own. We do not want to follow the ways of God as sinners. And boy, it really hits at this area so strongly. Secondly, embrace sexual reproduction as the awesome gift that it is. It just is an amazing thing that God has granted this to us. Don't use methods of reproduction that violate the personhood of procreated life. Be very careful. There's a huge difference between prevention of pregnancy and ending a pregnancy that has happened. Those are two incredibly different things. Enter into parenting as an act of worship. So, we realize this along with everything else that God gives us should lead us to worship Him, honor Him as the one who has granted this to us. Okay, moving on. Second element of aspects of participatory parenting, participatory authority over our children. Now, we talked about this some last night, so I won't go into detail here. But notice, again, I mentioned this in the Q&A last night. The fifth commandment stands between the first four, which are vertical, honoring God, obeying God, and the last five, which are horizontal, how we live with one another. And the middle one, the one that makes the transition between the vertical and the horizontal, is honor your father and mother. And so, you just realize there is a sense in which the honor of God is built into our children through the vehicle of learning to honor their parents.

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And as they do that, they then honor God and horizontally live in a way that, you know, love your neighbor. You know, you think of how this is summed up, the law is summed up in love the Lord your God. That's the first tablet of the law. And love your neighbor as yourself.

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That's the horizontal tablet of the law, right? So that they learn to honor God and they learn to live with one another in ways that are right and just and loving and caring because of honoring parents. So, indeed, it is important. It is crucial that children learn to obey their parents.

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Children learn to honor their father and mother. Ephesians 6 1 to 4. We are to raise our children in the Lord. And so, it is interesting to me, though, let me just make a comment on this, because there is a sense in which the buck stops in a particular way with father, because no notice in Ephesians 6. You can look at it if you want, but let me just remind you of what's there. You know, children obey your parents. Notice it's mom and dad together.

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Honor your father and mother, mom and dad together. But then verse four, fathers do not exasperate your children, but raise them in the fear and the admonition of the Lord.

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So there's a sense in which Paul specifies fathers who have that principal responsibility of being the ones who work to bring about the spiritual growth of their children, raise them in the fear and the admonition of the Lord. The buck stops with dad.

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I remember, I mean, I learned this a long time ago. And so I remember one time when our girls were young and I was driving home from seminary. I was teaching at Trinity Divinity School in Illinois at the time. And I was driving home and this just hit me like a ton of bricks. Because Jodi was doing much with our girl. She was homeschooling. They were memorizing scripture. There were a lot of things, very good things, that Jodi was doing for their spiritual growth, for which I'm so grateful. And they benefited from so much. But I'm the dad. What am I doing? Well, we did family devotions and we were doing some things, but I wanted a more direct and impactful role in their lives in training them. And that's when the Lord put upon my heart to spend the last moments before they went to bed at night teaching them theology, which might sound to you like an odd thing to do, but it just was great. It just was such a wonderful thing to do. They were giggly girls having a great time and didn't want to go to sleep anyway. So why not co-opt the time and teach them theology? So that's what I did.

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And I just would meet with each one. Now we just had two. I know some of you have a lot of kids.

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You have to kind of do the math and figure out how this is going to work. But I would spend 10 or 15 minutes with each one at their bedtime and we would walk through systematic theology together. I always start with a verse because I wanted them to think of theology not as kind of drop down from on high, but right out of the Bible, right? Biblical basis for our theological understanding. And just, I was in no time rush. You know, just took my time and just took one little thing at a time on an evening. And we just walked through these glorious doctrines of the faith, who God is, you know, what hid the creation of humanity and sin that disrupted it all in Christ and, you know, just these glorious things. And you just realize, boy, this is a responsibility that a dad has. And of course, mom helps so much with this, but dads, I think we need to just own this. We will give an account before God for the spiritual development of our wives. That's Ephesians 5, 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, gave himself for her that he might sanctify her. So what's the number one responsibility of a husband with his wife? Sanctification of my wife, promoting her growth and flourishing in her spiritual life. And with children, fathers do not exasperate your children, but raise them up in the fear and the admonition of the Lord. So both with wife and children, the buck stops with the dad. So let's just own it, gentlemen. Let's not despise it. Let's not ignore it. Let's embrace it and say, God, help me, help me. You've commanded it. Remember participatory parenting. So you're the one who must work in me and through me to carry this out. My hope is in you.

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My trust is in you. My trust is not in me. My trust is in you. Okay, so we stand as God to our children. So children should honor us as their parents. Yet clearly, this is never an absolute authority. Remember Matthew 10, 37, above the only absolute allegiance that we bear to, bear is to God. Parents need to see that their own authority is assisting their children to respect and follow the authority of God. So a couple of bullet points here. Just think about with me quickly. One is assess the biblical mandate of parental authority in light of our culture's hostility toward and rejection of most authority structures. Think biblically. I mean, I just, yeah, I just know this. Our culture wants us when we think authority and submission, our culture wants us to go yuck. I hate that idea. Unless I'm the one in authority, I kind of like that. You know, I like it when I'm the one on top and I can tell everybody else what to do. I can cancel you if you don't agree with me. I like that. But I don't like being under authority. I don't like, you know, so boy, we have got to be really careful that we don't buy into the mindset of the culture because here's the truth by friends. Authority and submission is rooted in God. Who does the son always, did you hear that word? That's not an overstatement. Always obey the father.

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The father sends, the son goes, the father commands, the son carries out the command of the father. Oh, the father wills, the son carries out the will of the father. I mean, so you never find anywhere in the Bible. Show me if you can find it. Where the son commands and the father obeys, the son sends and the father goes, the son wills and the father carries out the will of the son.

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It doesn't happen. So you have in the Trinity, this amazing reality of a recognition of father, son, in which there is authority and submission within God. So when he creates us, he reflects something of that very being of God himself in those who are the image of God and creates here relations of authority and submission, wives to husbands, children to parents, employees to employ your ears. Is that right? Or did I say it wrong? Okay, I get those mixed up polar value.

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So indeed, except then, then parental authority as God's design, don't despise it, embrace it, cherish it because it's good. How do we know it's good? It is in God and it is from God. There we go.

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Accept parental authority as a gift and a charge. So it is such an important thing to embrace and not shun. Use your parental authority. Fathers in particular, avoid the equally damaging and dishonoring extremes of one passive neglect. So, you know, there's dad watching football and the kids are running around and he's just oblivious, you know, and just not paying attention, not doing anything. And just, you know, just he's just passive, letting things go. Don't do that.

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That's just negligence, gentlemen. We got to step up to the plate here and be dad, which means we bear responsibility ultimately for what's happening in that hole. So passive neglect, or here's the opposite side of the problem, right? Abusive domination. That's not either.

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Yeah, look at those kids and they're getting a little light here and, you know, just tough and harsh and physically abusive. This is an abomination before God. So neither one of those is acceptable.

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Practical tips. Some of these we talked about last night. To delay us to disobey. I mentioned that so I won't go into that again. Make your word count so that when you tell them something, you carry through. So here's the next thing. Avoid the use of repeated but meaningless threats. If you do that again, I'm going to throw you out of the window. Well, you're not going to do that.

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So don't say that. You know, I mean, you might, the little guy might test you on that one, you know.

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Okay, dad, let me see you're going to throw it. You know, so just, I mean, threats really are not the way to go with this. It's rather your word counts and there's a weightiness in your word.

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You don't have to use threats. You don't have to use carrots either, you know. If you obey me, you know, if you do what I'm asking you to do, then you'll get some ice cream. Oh, I don't know.

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Just have them obey you because your dad, because your mom learned to obey and yet then you can give them the gift, not something they earn, but the gift of some ice cream. That's fine. That's a different thing though, isn't it? So keep your promises. Boy, this really matters. It matters to your spouse. It matters to your kids. If they hear you say, you know, I'm going to be there at five o'clock, well, boy, everything within you. Try to be there at five o'clock, you know, to pick them up or do whatever it is and keep your promises and then use various forms of discipline, including spanking, administered lovingly and appropriately with your kids. Okay, moving ahead. Got to, got to move forward here. Third, participatory nurturing of our children. So just a number of passages here. I just, you know, I won't take time to go into them in detail with you at all, but just, it just is amazing how much there is in the Bible about the nurturing, the cultivating, the growing of our children in their spiritual lives. Do you know what I mean? Six, you know, forty nine as you walk by the way, as you, as you go different places, be, be conscious of what you can talk about with them of the Lord that will help them grow in the Lord. Take care of every opportunity to train our children in the Lord. I think I told you last night, we took all these long trips across the country to visit our relatives on the West Coast and because most of my teaching has been in the Midwest, Minnesota, Illinois, and Kentucky. So these long trips to the West Coast and Jody would prepare ahead of time sheets for us in the car for memorizing scripture.

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So, you know, we use time in the car listening to Odyssey tapes, you know, cassette tapes. Do you remember those? And just take, take opportunity to do things that are productive and profitable for your children. There's other things we could have done we didn't do. We know that, but nonetheless, we did some things I'm very grateful for. Psalm 78, God's mandate to teach our children the word and the works of God. You know, there's a ministry called Truth 78. I don't know if you know about that, but it's, it's named after Psalm 78, which talks about training our children, the next generation, you know, that they would know the works of God. And it really emphasizes both the word of God and the works of God. And that works side of it, I think, can be both the works of God that we see in the Bible, but the works of God in creation, you know, so take your kids on field trips and make it a time of worship. Take them to the zoo and make it a time of worship where you realize this is an amazing thing that God has this kind of wisdom to be able to design what you're looking at here. These, these birds with all of their color and these snakes of various kinds and you know, the like, it's really amazing. So the word and the work of God, Psalm 127, the Lord must build the house. So he's the one we trust in to do it. Psalm 128, as a husband fears the Lord, his family will be blessed. It's just an amazing song. Look at it later. Make a mark by Psalm 128. Look at it later, because blessed is the one who fears the Lord, but it's very clear that he has in mind primarily a husband because his wife is blessed, his children are blessed as he fears the Lord. So one of the ways dad's husbands, you can bless your families, is by you walking faithfully with the Lord. You think my, you mean my private life that, that makes a difference. Oh yes. Oh yes. I think of it as the umbrella principle. That's my illustration. Owen, umbrella principle. Where one person holds the umbrella, but others, like one of those big, big stadium umbrellas, you know, one person holds the umbrella and others come in and are protected under what you are holding. So you, you fear the Lord, dad, and your wife tucks in with you. Your children tuck in with you and are protected from the elements. So indeed, what a great thing that is to contemplate Proverbs one and four speaking about pleading with children to learn from their parents. I mean, that's what those passages do. And so we must teach them and help them know how good it is to learn from their parents. This is a good thing. Go to Proverbs with them and help them see that Malachi two 15. The goal is to raise a godly heritage.

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And then Ephesians six, we've talked about that. We nurture them in the Lord instruction with patience and love. So of all the ways in which we need to nurture our children, spiritual nurture takes top priority. So let me just say something here to dads because I, this is delicate. Some of you are not going to like this. I think that we live in a subculture now where athletics sports have taken front and center stage in what we do with our kids.

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And it's not that this is a bad thing. It's not like you're teaching them to rob banks, you know, or something like that, or like the gypsy culture where they teach little kids to steal from the time they're walking. You know, that's how it works in those cultures that, you know, so you think, well, what's wrong with football? What's wrong with, you know, well, nothing. The answer is nothing except when they become so big that other things that are far more important don't happen. So just be careful. I'm not, you know, goodness, I'm not, I don't want to be the Grinch that stole Christmas. I don't want to be the guy who, who ruins sports for, for your family. But I do want to say as, as good as those things may be, they're not the most important. The most important is the spiritual nurture of your kids. So please, please make that the priority.

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Spiritual nurture will put other kinds of activities into proper perspective, which is basically the point I'm making there on sports. You know, it could be for some families, music. I mean, our family was much more music, but again, you just don't want anything to supplant the top priority of the spiritual nurture of your kids. So here are some suggestions. Lead the, lead in family devotions, you know, as regular as you can. I know as kids get older, it's very difficult to get together for dinner and, and have, have, or breakfast or whatever, but as much as you can and make those devotions, just a quick word on this, simple and consistent, simple and consistent. So just read a couple of verses, three or four verses, just a tiny little section, make a few comments, invite them to share some thoughts on that.

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Look, look for things that that passage tells you about God, tells you about ourselves, tells you about what we're called to do, what we're called not to do, you know, just, just simple things from those passages, but do it consistently, regularly, and pray together. And oh my goodness, over time, this will have an impact on your kids. If you try to do too much, i.e. it becomes counterproductive, but not doing it at all. Well, that's not, that's not the best either, right? So, um, simple and consistent family devotions, uh, memorize scripture together as a family and, uh, and encourage them to do it individually as well, but to have, have projects of family memorizing different portions of scriptures. Psalm 103, there's a good one to start with and just work. So, you know, two months from now, everybody in the family can quote Psalm 103 or whatever the case might be. Just work at memorizing scripture as a family and saying it together. Pray for one another, uh, together as you gather for family devotions, but other times as well. Help your kids learn to pray for their siblings. You know, I think that'll reduce some of the conflict, uh, as they pray for one another. Uh, keep the world in mind. Cultivate world Christians. So let's avoid the kind of isolationism because the world is a scary thing out there. We know that's true, but there's also a world out there that needs Christ. So help, help them think in terms of ministry to the world, not the world that can impact them with worldliness. That's not what we want, but a world that can be impacted by us as we, as we go to them. Uh, and remember Deuteronomy six, Psalm 78, take opportunities all along the way to remind children of God in his ways to cultivate in them growth and godliness. Um, oh, it goes onto the next page. Avoid obvious hindrances to your children, spiritual growth. So, I mean, obviously things that are, you know, counterproductive, uh, just avoid that. I mean, and they may not like it.

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You know, we really don't think that television show you're watching, uh, is good for your soul. So, and, and talk with them about these things. So they understand this does, isn't just a mandate forced upon them. There is good reason for it. Uh, help them to see that be careful about, um, your children's friends. Um, I look back on my life. I had some friends that my parents really didn't know much about because they were at school. Um, who had a very bad impact on me as a little boy. And I look back on that and I wish my folks had known that these boys that I, I liked and was spending time with, um, were not good for me to be with. And it kept me from them, uh, because they kept inviting me, you know, to do things.

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So just be careful with, with your kids friends overnight, overnight at somebody else's home, you've got to know that that home is solid and they won't be getting into things there because it's a long time overnight, you know, stuff. So just watch those things and then care as much about their heart response as their, as behavior, conformity, or intellectual grasp of God's truth.

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And my whole session tomorrow morning at Sunday school is basically on that. So I won't say more right now. And then part last item is participatory releasing of our children. Um, he who loves father, mother, son, daughter more than me is not worthy of me. So our children need to learn that their first and only ultimate allegiance is to God. We need to embrace this concept and prepare ourselves as parents to release them fully into God's will. Another amazing statement is in Matthew 12, where Jesus is speaking to his disciples and somebody says your mother and brother at the door.

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I mean, right now, of course, my mom is dead, but you know, if, if she were alive and somebody said, Bruce, your mom is over here, she needs to talk. I'd say, excuse me, folks. Right.

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But what did Jesus do? Your mother and brothers in the doors. Who are my mother and brothers?

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The ones who do my will, who follow in my ways. These are my mother, my sister, my brothers.

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So there is this ultimate allegiance to Christ that trumps everything else.

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And parents need to know this. So remember parents, whose they are.

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A principle applies to all of us. And it pertains to our children as a Christian. The most important thing about who you are is whose whose you are. So they belong to the Lord. Pray from the outset that God would mold and direct and use them in the very way of life and service that he has designed for them. Be ready to let them go. Be ready to launch them into what God has for them.

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Be open to to them serving as missionaries. Help prepare them for this.

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You know, you think, oh, my goodness, at Southern Seminary where I teach, I can't tell you how many couples have told me, yeah, my folks said it was fine to come up here from Texas or Louisiana or or down from Ohio. Yeah, it's fine to be here. But boy, as soon as school is over, bring those grandbabies back. It's wrong. It's wrong. Just simply wrong.

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For parents to instruct their children, their adult children, that they need to live close to them.

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Now, if it happens, oh, my goodness, it's a blessing. But those children of yours belong to the Lord. You say to them, wherever the Lord wants you to be, that's where we want you to be.

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Do you feel the weight of that, my friends? We just have to do this. Prepare them for singleness.

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Don't just assume that they will get married. I mean, we have our other daughter, Rachel, is single, 35 years old. And we didn't plan on that. But, you know, it's it was God's design.

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And so you just you don't know. You can't just assume. And so prepare them for that way of life in in the case that they are single before the Lord and how to live their lives in a fulfilling way, satisfying way, honoring to God as single people. Enjoy, cherish and relish the years God gives you of your children at home, but embrace his call on their lives to take them away.

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There it is. OK, so in conclusion, I'll wrap up with this. We are called by God to participate with him in the raising of our children. He makes possible the miracle of ongoing creation of human beings in his in his image. He calls for children to recognize the Godlike authority of their parents. He commands parents to direct and nurture children to grow in the Lord. And he claims these children as his own and calls them to wholehearted discipleship. As parents, we need to see our role as carrying out in his strength and his work. Participatory parenting is God's plan for Christian parenting. So my friends, trust the Lord to work in you and through you to bring about in your children what God wants to see happen. He's the primary agent. We have the privilege of being his instruments. May God help us to see this. Let's pray. Father, thank you for the time thinking about these things and may your spirit help us to apply them to our lives in ways that would be beneficial. We pray in Christ's name. Amen. Wow, what a blessing of a session that was so clarifying, so encouraging, so galvanizing. God is behind all of our fatherhood and motherhood.

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We have a 15 minute break. The men will be back in here in 15 minutes and the ladies will be down the hall. Thank you.

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Amen.